"So," Apple Bloom said as they walked into the school and to their lockers that Monday morning, "how was yer weekend, Silver Spoon?"
"It was fine," Silver replied. "Boring."
"Scootaloo?" Apple Bloom asked.
"Boring," Scootaloo replied. "Didn't do any of my usual fun stuff, played Mario Kart with my aunts some."
The noise of Canterlot High School swirled around them, crowds flowing through the building.
"What about you, Sweetie Belle?" Apple Bloom asked.
"Button Mash kept calling, asking me on a date. We ended up blocking his phone number."
"Huh," Apple Bloom said. "At least that worked?"
"Hardly. He had like, six burner phones."
"What did you do?" said Diamond Tiara.
"Rarity called Twilight, Twilight called her brother," Sweetie Belle said.
"What's her brother's name, again?" Scootaloo frowned, trying to remember.
"Shining Armor." Sweetie Belle smirked. "He works for some boring government agency, but rumor is, he's some sort of special forces agent. Button stopped calling."
Button walked past the girls, headed to his own locker. His fingers were all in splints, his hands in casts. Sweetie Belle waved at him and he flinched.
"Guess he'll have to use voice dialing for a few weeks," Apple Bloom said.
The girls' lockers were all near each other. Diamond Tiara opened hers with a relieved sigh.
Her sigh turned into a chopped-off moan when Apple Bloom asked, "What about you, DT? How was yer weekend?"
"Fine," Diamond replied. "Perfectly average."
"Diamond Tiara," Silver Spoon said with a smirk, "had a date."
The other three looked at Diamond.
"Really?" Scootaloo said.
Diamond bit her lip and looked into her locker, putting her English book away and grabbing her math and history books.
"Did ya really have a date this Saturday?" Apple Bloom asked.
"Sunday," Diamond mumbled, zipping her backpack and locking her locker.
"Who was your date with?" Sweetie Belle asked. "Were his fingers broken?"
"I prefer not to say with whom I had a date," Diamond replied. "I'd rather talk about something else."
Silver Spoon elbowed Diamond in the ribs. "They went to a movie, but Diamond told her parents it was a tutoring session at the library."
"What movie did y'all see?" Apple Bloom asked.
Diamond mumbled, looking at her feet.
"What? Speak up," said Scootaloo.
"She said 'Cocaine Bear,'" Silver Spoon translated.
"What? That movie's rated R!" Sweetie Belle said. "How'd you get in?"
"My date," Diamond sighed, "is a senior, so they said I was their little sister to get me in."
"Can we make it a quadruple date next weekend?" Sweetie Belle asked. "We three want to see Cocaine Bear."
Silver Spoon rolled her eyes. "That would be pentuple, since the person buying the R-rated tickets makes five. Also, I want to see the movie, too. Hextuple date."
"Not Hex-tuple." Scootaloo said, making finger-guns at Diamond. "Sex-tuple, am I right?"
"You're wrong," Diamond snapped. "First, the movie sucked. Second, our date was entirely chaste. I gave them a little kiss goodnight when I got out of their car, nothing else. And if a senior were to take five freshmen to a movie, that's not a date, ...that's—that's—that's—" Diamond's hands flapped in consternation, looking for the word.
"Babysitting," Silver Spoon supplied.
Diamond opened her mouth several times, failing to speak.
Apple Bloom rubbed her chin. "You're being careful to say 'their' and 'they,' instead of 'he' or 'she.' You think that ain't just gonna make us more curious?"
"Bi-curious!" Scootaloo said, with more finger guns.
"I don't care what it makes you," Diamond said. She pulled her water bottle from her bag and took a sip.
"You'll know who it is soon enough," Silver Spoon said. "They invited Diamond Tiara to prom with them."
"What?" Apple Bloom cried. "Freshmen can't go to prom!"
"They can," Scootaloo replied with a smirk, "if their date is a junior or a senior."
"Oh." Apple Bloom pouted.
"You've got to tell us," Sweetie Belle said. "If you don't, I'll ask my sister, and Rarity'll call Shining Armor and have him waterboard Silver Spoon."
"What? Why me?" Silver Spoon said, her glasses sliding down her nose.
"Because you know who her date was," Sweetie Belle said.
"I do not, in fact, wish for you to know." Diamond eyed her water bottle suspiciously, looked at Sweetie Belle, and then put her water bottle back in her bag and checked her phone. "Twelve minutes until class."
"At least tell us if they're a he or she," Sweetie Belle pleaded.
"You'll find out at prom," Diamond said.
"But I ain't going to prom!" Apple Bloom said. "We're shearin' the alpacas that night. And I ain't been invited by no one. And Granny says I would fit in at a fancy party like syphilis at a convent."
"If you all can't change the subject," Diamond snapped, "I'm going to excuse myself and hope that you find a new topic to discuss at lunch. Apple Bloom, how was your weekend?"
"We had to slaughter m' favorite pig."
The others looked at her.
Apple Bloom smiled and patted her lunchbox. "That means it was a good weekend."
"How'd you end up dating a senior, anyway?" Scootaloo asked. "Goodness knows I've tried."
Diamond flinched and hunched her shoulders, not answering.
"This particular senior likes Diamond's very girly fanciness," Silver Spoon said.
"I'd say that sounded like Applejack," Apple Bloom said, "except she and I were in the barn making country sausage, so I know she didn't go on a date last night."
"Since you all apparently can't change the subject," Diamond said with a huff, "I'm heading to class and triple-checking my homework until you all arrive."
Rainbow Dash sprinted up to Diamond and handed a small pink power brick to her. "You dropped your phone charger in my car when you leaned in to kiss me after our d—" she noticed the others, gaping wide eyed at her, Scootaloo turning bright purple "—when you leaned in to kiss me goodnight after you tutored me on math at the library."
"Yep," said Nurse Redheart, pulling Scootaloo's right hand from the bowl of ice, "that's broken, all right. I'm calling your aunts to pick you up and take you to the emergency room."
"Can I go apologize to Diamond Tiara?" Scootaloo said, pointing her left index finger at the other treatment room in the nurse's office. "I'm really sorry."
Redheart glared at Scootaloo. "Her dad already left work and picked her up. You broke her cheekbone, Scootaloo, so I sent them straight to Children's Hospital. Perhaps you'll see her at the emergency department and can apologize there. Prom is in two weeks; Miss Diamond is going to look like she fell face-first off a five story building onto a brick sidewalk for the photographer, so I hope your apology is both sincere and abject."
"Was... uh... was she upset about that?"
"She was crying her good eye out, although that was mostly because Miss Spoon suggested a 'Phantom of the Opera' half-mask with her dress." Redheart left the treatment room for her small office, where the phone was.
Rainbow Dash—leaning in the corner of the room—walked close to Scootaloo. In a whisper, she asked, "Why did you hit Diamond Tiara, Scootaloo?"
Scootaloo hung her head. "I've always kinda had a crush on you, Rainbow Dash. And then suddenly I find out that you're dating Diamond, taking her to Prom? Because she's... girlier and fancier?"
"Scootaloo, you're like my little sister. Diamond has nothing on that. ...Did I ever accidentally give you the impression I wanted to date you?"
"No, never," Scootaloo said. "Even when I'm trying to make you jealous, it doesn't seem to work."
"Make me jealous?" Rainbow asked cautiously. "How?"
"I'm, uh, going to prom with Soarin'."
Author's Note
The Equestria Girls Shipping Contest has a set of rules longer than the minimum story length, and roughly as complex as the Formula 1 red flag restart regulations. One of the rules is that shipping the older tranche of students (e.g., Dash) with the younger tranche (e.g., Diamond) is forbidden.
Whenever someone forbids me to do something:
