Author's Note

You’re still here, eh? Prepare for a naughty finale that features cartoon ponies, anthros, selfcest, futa, ~~a wholesome friendship lesson~~, and a musical number!

This is getting out of... hoof?

“Cartoon pony Equestria?” I stammered. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing! Sure, everything in my home country was named after horse puns, even I was a “pegasus” from a city called “Vanhoover,” but we were all totally human with no equine features at all. A talking pony... now that was crazy!

“Well, of course!” Twilight stated proudly. “These girls are us, from an alternate universe! There are infinite Equestrias throughout the ponyverse, infinite variations of you and me, and these fabulous ladies are the most famous of all. They even have their own television show, which has spawned a very active and only occasionally creepy fandom!”

“Huh?” I babbled, my mind utterly fogged by Applejack’s sweet and sour scent. “Ponyverse? Infinite Equestrias?”

“Mebbe ya should explain it to him in terms o’ feet,” Applejack snickered, rubbing the ball of her foot against my lips as I kissed away every bit of hard earned sweat. “I reckon he ain’t got the brain power right now ta think o’ nothin’ else.”

“I’m certainly up for that educational challenge!” Twilight declared. “Let’s see, erm... imagine that Applejack’s big toe is our Equestria, and your (ooh, that looks nice) cute tongue is an interplanar portal. Now when you... yeah, just like that! You’re getting the picture!”

“Wha... what is he even doing to your Applejack’s weird hoof tentacles?” The purple pony stammered in her quivering voice, with a worried hoof pressed to her lips. She seemed just as fascinated with Applejack’s foot — or at least my lips on her big toe — as I was. “I-is this how humans show their friendship?”

“It’s one o’ the better ways,” Applejack opined, wiggling her toe in my mouth as she pressed her apple-juicing thighs together inside her jeans. “This fellah’s real friendly, that’s fer sure.”

“Do you think, maybe... we could join in?” asked a timid yellow pegasus who sounded just like Fluttershy. “With Discord off at his O&O tournament, I haven’t been getting any steamy lovin’ at all!”

“Huh? You guys have sex?” asked Rainbow Dash, her arms firmly crossed against her petite chest.

“Steamy lovin’,” the yellow pegasus corrected.

“B-but I thought you ponies were all pure and innocent!”

“We get married, we have foals...” pointed out a fancy unicorn who somewhat reminded me of Rarity. “What do you think we get up to when we’re not on camera? Why, those laughable ‘clopfics’ hardly know the half of it! Now, shed those silly clothes, girls, and let a real pony show you the heights of lust!”

“Aw, heck, why not?” Applejack shrugged. “None o’ this is canon, anyways.” The tall cowgirl picked up the tiny, marshmallow coloured horse, set her on her lap and hungrily kissed her, as the unicorn’s magical aura began to work loose the buttons of Applejack’s plaid shirt and I kept on worshipping her large, perfect feet.

“I think I’d like to have a go at him...” the pony version of Pinkie Pie stated shyly. “He’s really cute!”

Pony Twilight gasped. “Pinkie, he’s a human!”

Pony Pinkie shrugged. “Dick is dick.”

“Ya got that right,” human Applejack noted as pony Rarity left hungry hickeys and lipstick marks all over her neck. “I’ve hooked up with some guys from yer universe. Whoo-wee, they really put the ‘horse’ in ‘horse cock.’ An’ then they put the ‘horse cock’ in ‘Applejack.’”

“Ooh, dish!” both Rarities demanded at once.

“I’ll tell ya all bout it, over a cider. First we gotta take care o’ this pervert.” Applejack stopped groping her unicorn lover’s plush pony ass long enough to slap the rump of the excitable blur who represented another dimension’s Pinkie Pie. “C’mon, pony Pinkie, yer up, git them squishy hooves in his mouth.”

I reluctantly left Applejack’s feet, prepared to grovel at a cartoon pony’s hooves, only to discover that the girls from this alternate Equestria were so small that crawling on the floor didn’t put me beneath them. After being dominated and treated as a pet by tall and beautiful women, I was put face to face with a cute and bubbly mare who didn’t think walking on all fours was the slightest bit degrading.

“Hi, cutie!” she squeaked, just as human Pinkie had earlier. She leaned forward and pecked her horsey lips against mine.

“Erm, hi, ‘Pinkie...’”

“Okey-dokey, foreplay is over, let’s get started!” Pony Pinkie Pie lifted her left front hoof and shoved it into my mouth. Before I could react, I was gently suckling on the warm and squishy limb, indulging in fetishistic sexual acts with a sapient horse. At least this didn’t count as bestiality. Technically... probably... anyways, Applejack was doing it too!

“Yer a good sport, bud.” Applejack nodded at me with approval as pony Rarity explored her heavy breasts with her hooves, her eyes widened with curiosity. “Eeyup, this is some advanced inter-dimensional kink, all right.”

“Amazing!” Pony Twilight noted, quickly drawing a diagram on a parchment scroll with an old fashioned quill pen. “It’s an entirely new form of friendship, unknown to pony science!”

“She’s led a sheltered life,” pony Fluttershy whispered to human Fluttershy, who nodded with sympathy.

Rather than Twilight’s floral smell or the mixed scents of Applejack’s pungent sweat, I tasted a strong and potent flavour of cotton candy that came directly from pony Pinkie herself. It seemed that girls from cartoon pony Equestria were sweet as sugar, and their bodies were like delicious lollipops that never got smaller, no matter how long you sucked on them.

“Ooh, makes me tingly! Am I doing it right?” pony Pinkie asked curiously, digging her small hoof into my mouth, moving it back and forth as though she wanted me to give it a blowjob.

“He’s not complaining,” pony Fluttershy noted, stepping to my side, “but you are being somewhat, um, forceful.” She gently stroked my hair with a hoof and kissed a cheek that bulged with the candy flavoured leg Pinkie was scrubbing against my teeth. “Not that a mare shouldn’t assert herself in the bedroom, but try being a little less ‘Pinkie’ about it.”

“Yes, give him the opportunity to truly serve you,” human Rarity advised, even as her feet kept up their irregular stroking rhythm on my cock. “A gentleman loves to kiss and lick around the rim of his pony lover’s hoof. He’ll tease your frog with his tongue and show you the most delicate of pleasures!”

I followed Rarity’s advice, spitting out Pinkie’s hoof with a quiet “mlem” only to resume teasing the smooth and squishy flesh, licking the hoof all over and gently taking control of my partner’s pleasure. Pinkie squealed and panted, nodding frantically with every lap of my tongue. If pony hooves were this delicious, I caught myself thinking, what might their pussies taste like?

“Ohmigosh,” Pinkie moaned. “I’m so close... human guys are so cute an’ fun... I’m gonna— I’m gonna—” The tiny pink bundle of energy giggled hysterically, and then, as if this day couldn’t get any more bizarre, at the moment of her climax she began to sing! The little pony bellowed a twisted showtune, her three free hooves tapping around in a dance routine as I insistently worked the fourth with my lips and tongue.

If you’ve got a kink that’s a little bit weird,
Then Pinkie’s here to treat ya!
If we both consent and we won’t get hurt
In the middle’s where I’ll meet ya!
I’ll spank your butt or fuck your wife
Or shrink ya down and eat ya!
So just enjoy, you naughty boy,
And suck on my yummy horse feet, yeah!

“Ta-da!” Pinkie concluded with a wiggle of her strangely arousing hips.

“Golly, that was weird,” observed human Twilight. “Maybe I should be taking notes on your dimension’s sexual deviancies.”

Pony Twilight shook her head with a sigh. “Oh, that’s just Pinkie being Pinkie.”

Already the excitable, pink earth pony looked refreshed and ready for more action. “Hey, human Pinkie, do you mind?” she called out. “Hoof play is so cool, I want to make you feel good now!”

“You know I’m game!” Human Pinkie sat on the castle floor and lifted her ring adorned toes to her pony counterpart’s mouth. The small, poofy maned pony started kissing the soles of the human’s feet, still covered with my saliva, even as I did the same to her own small equine hoof. The whole time, Rarity’s soles and magic expertly stroked my cock, keeping me at the quivering verge of climax.

“Ahhahahah!” Human Pinkie screamed with helpless laughter. “How’d you guess my selfcest tickle fetish?”

“We’ve got the same kinks, silly!” Pony Pinkie ran her large, rough tongue up and down the smooth soles of the human redhead’s feet as she squirmed and shrieked for joy. “It’s one of those universal constants!”

“Universal constants?” Pony Twilight was startled and began to blush deep red. “Then that means...”

“That’s right...” Human Twilight gently ran her hand along pony Twilight’s barrel. “Oh, poor Twilight. You were ashamed to tell anyone, you thought you’d never find another soul who’d understand your deepest darkest desire... but I understand. Want to give it a try?”

“Yes please,” pony Twilight squeaked. Her human counterpart lifted her up gently in a bridal carry and rushed the flustered, aroused mare up a hidden stair to her royal bedroom.

“Well, human!” I turned to see a tiny blue pegasus scowling as she hovered over me. This could only be the pony version of Rainbow Dash: she was just as cocky and full of herself as her human counterpart. “I bet you think you’re hot shit, just because you made Pinkie Pie cum!” she scoffed. “Well, here’s a news flash for you: Pinkie cums all the time! Heck, I made her squirt twice, just this morning! What do you think of that?”

“I think it’s pretty hot...” I admitted, picturing a spicy girl on girl scenario with the two cute ponies scissoring atop a bed... or did ponies even have beds? Maybe the 6 of them all shared a stable...

Rainbow Dash grinned with the memory of her adventure earlier that day. “Yeah, Pinkie’s a real firecracker — hey, that’s not the point! The point is, I’m not a pushover like her! Do you think you have what it takes to worship the awesome hooves of the real Rainbow Dash?”

“I’d love to try...”

“That’s the spirit!” Rainbow Dash extended her wings to their full span, giving the impression of a mighty and heroic, albeit tiny, steed. With a single flap she pushed a hurricane of air my way, blowing a powerful mist of her sweat into my face.

The smell swept over me like a tidal wave, a raunchy locker room stink overlaid with stale girlcum and the overly sweet scent of Skittles. At the onslaught of the overwhelming scent, my mind crashed as hard as my laptop the night before my term paper was due. My lust boiled over and I came all over Rarity’s pumping feet, soiling that perfect angel’s flesh with spurts of my sperm.

“Oh, fuck...” I moaned, with hazy red spots bubbling up at the edge of my vision. Rarity’s magic somehow reached into my very soul and freed me of all worry and pent up stress, boosting my pleasure tenfold. “Oh, Rarity! Oh, weird pony version of Rainbow Dash!”

The blue pony’s wings sagged and she frowned as she watched me sob with pleasure. “Aww, again? It’s no fun if he cums right away! How come I have to be so damn awesome? This guy’s worse than Zephyr!”

“Y-yeah, he was just about to cum when I was doing him, too,” human Rainbow Dash lied. “I guess you need to learn better control of your subs. Bad luck, dude.” She jabbed her elbow into the pony pegasus’ barrel. “Hey, but, what if you and me fucked instead? You know, as a joke? Hahah!”

“Sex with myself? It can’t get more awesome than that!” The two pegasi flung themselves at each other and kissed messily in midair, human and pony tongues fiercely groping for dominance. I just moaned, writhing on the floor as Rarity’s magic pulled the last drops of sperm from my exhausted balls. Behind me, I heard a small chuckle of satisfaction from the Element of Generosity.

I’d been so utterly drained I should have fallen asleep in an instant, yet I was still having the time of my life! The funloving Elements were so inventive and kinky, and even their cartoon pony friends were starting to seem sexy to my lust addled brain. Yet no sooner could I could catch my breath, than we heard the shimmer of a magical portal, and a sweet and sultry version of Applejack’s voice filtered through the echoing void.

“Well, howdy, ya’ll! Sorry we’re late, but somepony just couldn’t stop pumpin’ cumloads into Spike.”

“Geeze, Applejack!” The responding voice was a parody of Twilight’s, crass and shrill, mixed with a loud chomping sound like chewing gum. “It was like, for science and stuff!”

For a second time, I stared at six strange, alien creatures the likes of which I’d never seen. Stepping through the portal were beings with heads like those of disturbingly beautiful horses, standing atop furred female bodies that were Amazonian in stature and incredibly stacked. My unbelieving gaze took in feathered manes, huge earrings, plump lips slathered with neon lipstick, big round boulderlike knockers, and even bigger bulges that tented the bizarre creatures’ skirts and filled their trousers to bursting.

“Oh, yeah, we passed by the gals from hyper bimbo futa anthro Equestria on our way over,” pony Applejack explained. “Hope it ain‘t imposin’ too much, but we invited ’em ta lunch too. They’s hung as heck, an’ they loves ta party.”

“Ooh, selfcest tickle fetish, my favourite!” Hyper bimbo futa anthro Pinkie Pie leapt into the ever growing pile of Pinkie Pies, and was soon screaming with laughter along with her new friends.

“Hung as heck, eh?” Human Applejack took quite an interest at this development. Although the shapely cowgirl stood well over two metres tall, anthro Applejack still towered over her. Yet she showed not the slightest sign of hesitation or submission as she stepped up and took a firm grip on her counterpart’s equine face. She squeezed open those plush bimbo lips and inspected anthro Applejack’s teeth as she would a horse. “Ya’ll got flares, medial rings, an’ all that good stuff?”

“Try us for yourself, dear,” anthro Rarity suggested with a giggle, running long fingernails down the third leg that threatened to rupture her tight sheath dress with its throbbing. A fist sized flare and an obscenely thick medial ring were both obvious through the sheer white fabric, and the colossal maredong dripped puddles of precum onto the stone floor like a broken soft serve machine. “I think you’ll find we leave the ‘stallions’ you’ve been playing with quite in the dust.”

“I’ll go get the breedin’ harness!” Applejack whooped excitedly. The eager size queen ran out of the castle without even putting her boots back on.

In a quiet corner across the room, anthro Fluttershy mounted pony Fluttershy like a living condom atop her huge yellow horsecock, while human Fluttershy gently stroked the stretchy cartoon pony’s winking clit. The three worked together smoothly and gently, as this probably wasn’t the first time the three kinky girls had given each other “steamy lovin’.”

Human Rarity climbed acrobatically over my body and dropped onto her cushy ass before me. She spread her legs wide, exposing a bare, shaven and very slick pussy beneath her dress, then silently raised her flexible feet to her lips and sensuously licked my spilled sperm from the soles, using broad motions of her long and skilful tongue.

After cleaning herself like a cat, Rarity pointed her toes towards me and beckoned me forward silently, yet with the force of an irresistible command. I obediently crawled forward and lowered my lips, unworthily kissing the foot of a goddess as she smiled kindly. How many men could say they’d kissed the feet of all six of the Elements of Harmony? Probably quite a few, based on how today was going...

At first I thought Rarity’s feet were unshod, but as I collected her foot into my hands to deepen my worship, I felt an invisible six inch stiletto that she’d magically adhered to her heel. It seemed Rarity had changed outfits yet again, donning a magical shoe of her own design which provided height and support while preserving a completely barefoot appearance. Leave it to Equestria’s top fashionista to find a way to attire herself with the latest in fetish gear, while keeping her feet available to any simp who cared to kneel and lend his lips!

“Don’t worry, sir,” Rarity assured me. “The afternoon may have become a massive inter-dimensional orgy, but I’ll stay with you until your kink is fully satisfied. The scene must go on, after all! Surely you’ve heard how I generously stepped in for Celestia’s assistant at last year’s Grand Galloping Gala?”

I gently shook my head, not daring to remove my lips from Rarity’s perfect body for a moment. The beautiful purplette sighed with a smile as I adorned her foot with kisses and she reminisced about the Gala.

“Poor Raven had to retire halfway through the night with a sore throat — quite understandably so! Naturally, I jumped at the chance to take her place on the Welcoming Committee.” Rarity put an elegant hand to her forehead. “There I sat, on my knees, surrounded by aristocratic cocks, the very crème de la crème of Canterlot society. Did I falter? No, I simply relaxed my jaw, opened my mouth and set to the task of extracting the crème de la crème de la crème!

Rarity gently ruffled my hair. “You’ve done well so far, but your duties are only beginning. You will thoroughly clean and polish every one of our feet, or hooves, or whatever the anthro girls have. Then, once each of us is satisfied, we can discuss the question of a suitable reward.”

Rarity had just given me the footjob of a lifetime, but even so my cock began to swell again as I struggled to even imagine what she might consider to be a “reward.” I was already in heaven, surrounded by beautiful women (and weird horse creatures) with gorgeous feet and demanding libidoes, and one thing was for certain: I never wanted to leave!

“Please, just let me stay here!” I burst out. “I want to spend the rest of my life at your feet, serving all of you and thanking you for protecting Equestria!”

“The rest of your life? I don’t know about that.” Rarity smiled wryly as I held her feet in both hands and kissed them like a smitten groom on his wedding day. “You have your studies, after all, and you’re hardly the only thirsty pervert in Equestria. But perhaps — ooh, yes, darling, just like that — perhaps a summer internship at my Boutique could be arranged...”