Cryptopinkology

by Clickety-Whinny

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 1947

Twilight puts Pinkie in a contraption under her basement. Again.

Twilight finally, FINALLY, managed to match up her schedule with Pinkie's, even if for a single evening. In the library's basement.
Written for day one of Twipie Week 2023

Published 2023-04-02 06:40:00 UTC
Last updated 2023-04-02 06:40:00 UTC

In which Pinkie has fun getting stuck

Pinkie stood just outside of the Golden Oaks, gripping a bouquet with her teeth. The stalks bent and creaked under the force of her jaw, and a couple blue petals got stuck on the lapel of her mustard yellow suit. She swallowed dry, and fearfully raised a hoof to knock against the door. In the very moment she worked up enough courage to actually knock, the door opened from the inside, and her hoof wound up knocking off a pair of Twilight's safety glasses.

The bouquet, long having lost any discernible shape, fell down on Twilight's porch with a muted clink. "Oh my gosh Twilight I'm so sorry I didn't mean to do that it's just that I was going to knock on your door and then-"

Twilight gently put a hoof on Pinkie's muzzle. "It's alright, Pinkie." Twilight floated the glasses back up to her face, "I'm so glad you could come here today!" She rested a hoof on Pinkie's shoulder, and stood on her back legs, towering over her. "You look lovely today... oh!" Twilight swooped the bouquet off the floor in one fluid motion. "Are those for me?"

Pinkie's sight focused on the mare in front of her, to the porch beneath her, and back to the bouquet as she lunged toward and threw herself around it. "No! I mean, Yes! I mean, not now!" She patted along the length of the bouquet, exhaling as she felt a bump in the middle. "I, uhm, Twilight. I need to tell you something!"

Twilight watched her friend with curiosity. "Hm? What is it, Pinkie?"

"It's, uhm, that I, well, you know, well, uhm." Pinkie cleared her throat while tapping herself in the back. "Twilight! Do you remember that day where I got to show you my Pinkie Sense? With the hydra and everything?"

"Yes, Pinkie." Twilight rubbed a hoof against her temple. "Like it was yesterday."

"Oh. Yeah. Erm. I'm so sorry about that, again..."

"None of that was your fault, Pinkie. I just don't really enjoy thinking of that because... I could've been a much better friend that day."

"And because of the doors?"

Twilight giggled despite herself. "And the bees, and the anvil..."

Pinkie shuddered, then put up a hoof quickly. "Don't you worry! That shudder was just because I remembered how worried I felt when I saw you bandaged up like that... and how confused I was when I saw how you just walked it off in a couple hours. How'd you do that?"

Twilight tapped her skull with a hoof. "You know just how hard-headed I can get!"

Pinkie giggled at her pun about twice as much as Twilight, who still had to wipe off a tear. "That one was amazing, Twilight!"

"Aww, thank you." Twilight turned and headed inside the library. "Why don't you come in? There's something fun in the basement that I need you to do with me!"

Pinkie's cheeks lit up. "T-twilight? What do you mean?"

Twilight floated over a labcoat from a nearby coat hanger and put it on while kicking the basement door open. "Well, I think you could call it a mini-party. Just between you and me. So I can find out just what makes you tick~!" Twilight
dove through the doorway with a confused and embarrassed Pinkie in tow trailing petals through the library lobby.

Pinkie stumbled through the darkness of the basement, resorting to hold her bouquet with a foreleg to speak. "Twilight? Where are youuu?"

The unicorn's voice cut through the darkness, coming from in front and to the left of her. "Over here, Pinkie! Be careful with the ramp- I had a railing installed, but you might still fall because of it if you go too fast!"

"Oh, alright!" Pinkie felt her way to the the wooden hoofrail, jumped on top of it, and then jumped off of it and into the darkness. As soon as she jumped, she heard a click and suddenly she was able to see the intricate engraving on the hoofrail behind her, all the complicated and expensive equipment stored safely beneath her, and the horrified Twilight she was currently barreling towards.

Twilight ducked to the side a mere instant before Pinkie came crashing down on a green rectangular device she'd been standing by. "PINKIE PIE! Why did you do that?!"

"Didn't you tell me to be careful with the hoofrail? I made sure to not crash against it!"

"I- well, you did, but why would you just jump like that?"

Pinkie's blush redoubled as she thanked Celestia for the pink cheeks it was currently blending into. "Um, I guess I just wanted to keep you waiting for as little as possible?" She braced against the oddly-familiar machine to straighten her back, and shot a nervous smile towards Twilight.

"...Alright, then." Twilight's horn glowed, and Pinkie yelped as brand-new stainless steel cuffs clamped around her forearms and a metal colander fell on her head.

"What the- Twi, what''s going on?" Pinkie tugged her arms against the cuffs, but they didn't budge. Twilight then appeared in front of her in a burst of light, now with a royal guard helmet several sizes too big on her head.

"Now, I understand that trying to impose the conclusion I came up with before seeing any evidence on you was the wrong thing to do, but your Pinkie Sense still confuses me. So I've elaborated a number of experiments to try and understand exactly how it works!" Twilight threw a lever on the side of the same oversized ticker machine from the last time Pinkie came into her basement, and it began to whistle while it worked. "Ahem, with your explicit permission, of course." Twilight added after seeing the puzzled expression in Pinkie's face.

"If it makes you happy, then I don't see a problem! But, tell me, did you change up this thingamagig since last time?"

"Thank you! And yes, I asked Rarity for your measurements a month ago under the pretense of wanting to make you a dress myself so I'd know how to make cuffs you wouldn't slip away from, along with a sensor helmet fitted to your head exactly!"

Pinkie gasped in shock. "TWILIGHT! Does that mean you lied to Rarity?! How could you? Although that was a pretty clever plan. How can you live with yourself?!"

"Erm, because it wasn't really a lie. Just a truthful, if incomplete statement." Twilight floated over a mess of multicoloured cloth at Pinkie, who gasped once again once she realized what she was looking at. "Oh my gosh, Twilight! You made that for ME?"

Twilight blushed, and hurriedly stuffed the dress into a brown paper bag. "Well, it does have your measurements... somewhere. Anyways! First test!" Twilight's magic yanked a lever in the very edge of Pinkie's vision downward, and a deep rumbling filled the room. "Do you feel anything yet, Pinkie?"

"Um, let me check." Her heart was racing. Her back was slick with sweat. Her right foreleg was starting to chafe, and she sneaked a peek towards the bouquet just outside of her reach every two seconds or so. "No, nothing!"

"Hmm. Well, tell me if you do, alright?" Twilight walked over to the ticker and took its output in a hoof. "Hey Pinkie, this says your heart rate is through the roof. Is everything okay?"

"Y-yeah! Everything's okie-dokey hereaAH!" The sound of a rattle filled the room, and Pinkie stood as straight as her constraints allowed her. "Twitcha-twitchy tail's twitching!"

"Wonderful!" Twilight crouched next to the ticker, and pressed a button with an audible beep as another stream of ticker tape came out of the back of the machine.

Before long, a flowerpot crashed against Twilight's head, with the sound of a bell reverberating through the room.

"TWILIGHT! Are you okay?!" Pinkie's eyes darted upwards, towards a conveyor belt hanging from the ceiling of the chamber. Her tail twitched again just as a washtub plummeted on Twilight as she dutifully jotted something down on her notebook.

"Of course I am, Pinkie. This helmet once belonged to my brother, and if he survived long enough to be captain of the royal guard then it must be good at its job!"

"Oh, but wouldn't it make more sense to wear a helmet made for a head the same size as yours?"

"...Why?"

"Touché." Pinkie paused to admire the mare at work, enduring pain, literal or not, all in the name of Magic. Who saw in her the potential to fight a millennia old legend. How she made a point to approach everything with the same level of curiosity, even that crumpled up bundle of flowers and the small box that just fell out of it- hey, wait a moment!

"Twilight?! W-when did you get that?"

"Uh, just now? What's this little box, anyway?"

Pinkie's tail started twitching again, and she took the chance for an excuse with her four hooves and also her mouth. "H-hey, Twily! My tail's twitching again! You should, um, put that back and go check that machine again!"

Twilight's brow furrowed as she worked the latch on the velvet-lined cube. "That's odd... I only put the flowerpot and the washtub up there."

With a click, the box opened, and Pinkie leaned as far back from Twilight as she could. Twilight studied the small, irregular silver ring carefully, taking note of how one edge was broader than the other. "Pinkie? What's this?"

"It's nothing, Twilight! I promise!"

Twilight's eyelids closed halfway as she scrutinized the pink pony. "But do you Pinkie Promise?"

Pinkie winced as if in pain, and fell silent. Twilight, out of curiosity, decided to put the ring on her horn. It fit perfectly.

"Wait a moment- Pinkie, why did you- oh. Oh. Oh dear Celestia." Twilight erupted into a deep crimson as Pinkie dared a quick peek at her. "I didn't know you- but why me?"

"...Because you're beautiful. And strong, and smart, and I knew from the moment I met you that you were somepony special. Not that anypony else isn't, but you're extra special to me. Even when you're trailing me around town with a pair of binoculars."

"Pinkie t-that's... I..." Twilight felt a tear rolling down her cheek, and before she noticed it she was wrapped around Pinkie. "Thank you. F-for telling me that. And for everything else."

"Thank you too, Twilight." She licked a tear off Twilight's cheek. "So, what are the plans for the rest of our first date?"

Twilight's eyes shot open "Our WHAT?"

"Our first date, silly! Aren't we each other's special somepony now?"

Twilight thought for a few long moments, then nodded hard. "Yes! Alright! Yes, I do have some more plans, in fact! Up next is 'floppy ears, eye flutter and knee twitch!' Any questions?"

"Oh, Ooh! I have a question!" Pinkie leaned forward after Twilight gestured to her. "Do I have to stay in these cuffs? They're starting to hurt."

"Mm-hm!" With a blip of purple light, Pinkie was free again. "Sorry about that. I think I might've made them a little too tight."

"I think the problem was because of this, actually." Pinkie pulled down one of her sleeves, to reveal a silver armband like the one twilight had on her horn, except larger. "And I'm never taking it off, ever, so I hope that wasn't an important part of your tests!"

"...Pinkie."

"Yes, Twilight?"

"Silver interferes with most of my magitek sensors. That machine was one of the most important sensors in my tests. We're going to have to do that from the top."

"...Oh."

"...Yeah."

"..."

"I love you so much, Pinkie."