Striped Like Me

by Fernin

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Zecora, Alternate Universe, Comedy, Random, Adventure, Applejack
Length: 12097

This tale's Bridle Gossip, but slightly redone. Now AJ's alone in her Poison Joke Fun!

Zecora is coming to market today
So Applejack tells Apple Bloom, stay away!
When the filly tries anyway, she's quite quickly caught
And AJ sends her right back home at a trot.

Though I have the actual plot line derailed,
We'll push right on through with an alternate tale
Of how Applejack learns about stripes, fur, and skin--
And how little they're worth next to what lies within.

So sit yourself down please, and read to the end
About how an earth pony got her zebra friend.
It's not all in rhyme, though; don't give in to gloom
But after this dear God I am not putting two zebra characters in a room together because GOOD LORD SO MUCH RHYMING; WHAT WAS I THINKING AAAAAHHHH! Er, I mean...
But new personal rule: JUST ONE ZEBRA PER ROOM.

A/N: Special thanks to Rated-R PonyStar for providing me with much-needed editing / pre-reading / input.

So yes as you may have guessed this is a rewrite of the season 1 episode Bridle Gossip in which I take the starting point and go wandering off towards the same general destination by an entirely different route.

Art for this is from Alfa995, the guy who runs the Ask Nightmare Moon HQ Tumblr.

I initially got the idea from this picture by the artist Elosande

Published 2011-12-26 20:01:28 UTC
Last updated 2011-12-26 20:01:28 UTC

Chapter 01: Bad on the Inside, Bad on the Outside

Rolling out of the basket like a miniature avalanche, the bushel of sweet-smelling red fruit tumbled into a bin in the apple cart. Applejack wiped her brow with one dusty hoof and sighed. Like any other Saturday, today was filled with hard work—but the orange mare wouldn’t have it any other way. After all, this was market day, and anything that consistently left Sweet Apple Acres a few hundred bits richer was all right in AJ’s book.

Frustrated grumbling from around the other side of the cart told Applejack that her sister wasn’t taking such a philosophical view of their labors. Applejack could remember when she’d been a little filly. She’d always loved days like today… They seemed like the perfect excuse to frolic through the family farm, exploring all the little nooks and crannies and interesting spots that young ponies found so attractive.

Too bad those days always seemed to come when there was work to be done. But hey, that just made it all the sweeter when the Apple family did get some time off—times when the chores were done. Times when the applebucking was over and the harvest was in. Times… that were not market day.

“C’mon, Apple Bloom! You wanna be a big pony and help yer big sis, don’tcha?” Applejack coaxed as she heaved another bushel of apples into the cart.

“Ah am a big pony!” the little filly protested with her teeth clenched on the stem of an apple. Apple Bloom tossed the fruit up into a waiting bin with an annoyed flick of her head. Applejack just chuckled. Her little red-maned sister reminded the orange mare more and more of herself at that age: growing up fast… and thinking it wasn’t fast enough.

Apple Bloom was just about to toss another apple into the cart when an orange hoof shot out and blocked the way. The fruit dropped from the little filly’s mouth and rolled to a stop next to the cart’s wheel. Apple Bloom scowled up at her big sister in protest. “Applejack! What’d ya do that fer?!”

“Ya gotta pay attention, Apple Bloom. Look at that there apple and tell me what ya see,” Applejack directed.

The yellow earth pony stared at the fruit as though it might jump up and bite her. She moved closer. Finally, Apple Bloom looked up at her blond-maned sister and shrugged. “Ah don’t know whatcha mean, AJ. It’s an apple, ain’t it?”

“Yup… a rotten apple. See these bruises these here? And this brown spot there? This apple ain’t no good to anypony ‘cept as fertilizer,” Applejack explained, rolling the offending fruit under her hoof.

Amber eyes still skeptical, Apple Bloom glanced between the apple and her big sister. “That don’t seem right… Ah mean, the skin of an apple’s not the important bit… Woah!”

Applejack smiled. She’d interrupted the little filly’s objection with a quick stomp of her hoof. The unpleasant, sickly sweet odor of spoiled apples drifted up from the crushed brown mass on the ground. “Thing ya gotta understand, little Sis… When an apple is bad on the inside, it tells ya—it looks bad on the outside, too. Fact o’ nature.”

“But…” Apple Bloom stared down at the remains of the apple and grimaced. She could see a few small white grubs writhing in the pungent brown pulp.

“No buts, ya hear? Now c’mon, help me load up the rest of these here apples and watch which ones yer putting in the cart! This is gonna be a good market day for Sweet Apple Acres, and Ah don’t intend to sell nopony some rotten apples ‘cos mah ‘big pony’ sister don’t have her mind on th’ job.” With that, Applejack went back to work. Suitably admonished, Apple Bloom joined her—this time, carefully scrutinizing every gleaming red fruit before it went into the cart.

With two earth ponies working on the task, it wasn’t long until the cart was loaded. Applejack pushed her hat back and let the wind blow some sweat off her brow. That hadn’t been the hardest work she’d done all season, but it was nice to have the help. “Well, Apple Bloom… Since yer a big pony now, would ya kindly hitch yerself to this here cart so we can take our produce ta town?”

The irritated look Apple Bloom gave her big sister was worth the earful Applejack was probably going to get about it later from Big Macintosh. “All right, all right, just joshin’ you. C’mon.”

Fitting herself into the harness, Applejack heaved the cart into motion and started down the road towards Ponyville. The little yellow filly trotted alongside, eyeing her big sister every now and again.

Apple Bloom obviously had something on her mind, but Applejack knew better than just to offer her a bit for her thoughts. The little filly would tell her what it was, in time. In fact…

“Sis?” Apple Bloom asked.

“A’yup?” replied Applejack, doing her best Big Mac impression.

Apple Bloom giggled before continuing, “Ah was wondering… What ya said about apples bein’ bad inside, bein’ bad outside too.”

“Aaaayup?” A quick grab at some overlong grass by the roadside let Applejack take her impression up a notch, earning her another giggle from Apple Bloom.

“Is that… D’ya think that’s true of ponies too?”

Applejack nodded slowly as the cart trundled along behind her. “No doubt about it, lil’ Sis. Like Ah said… Bad on the inside, bad on the outside. Fact o’ nature.”

The two earth ponies trotted on without further conversation, enjoying the pleasant weather. Applejack smiled to herself. This was going to be a good day.

* * *

…At least, it had started out as a good day. Applejack shivered for reasons that had nothing to do with the temperature. Of all the days for her to show up, it had to be today.

Applejack ground her teeth. That danged… Zecora. The earth pony hesitated even to think the name too strongly. There was no telling what that… that… what had Twilight called her? A ‘zebra?’ There was no telling what that zebra could get up to in a pony’s brain.

The sturdy farm pony shuddered. Years of hard work on Sweet Apple Acres had given Applejack a body that could deal with nearly any physical threat and the confidence to match. But this crazy hoodoo of Zecora’s was something Applejack’s hooves couldn’t touch. And that scared the apples right out of her.

Pinkie Pie’s awful song about evil enchantresses and stews didn’t help things, either. Applejack found herself reaching out with one hoof to hold Apple Bloom tight—much to her little sister’s obvious annoyance.

But now of course Twilight Sparkle, being the book-learning-above-all-else silly filly that she was, was downplaying the striped zebra’s obvious menace. The unicorn’s voice dripped with sarcasm as she made a one-mare assault on the obvious facts of the situation. “…Now tell me, what exactly have you actually seen Zecora do?”

Rainbow Dash looked thoughtful. “Well, once a month, she comes into Ponyville…”

“Oooooh,” Twilight mocked, waving one dismissive hoof as she all but invaded Rainbow Dash’s personal space. Fluttershy jerked back slightly to avoid contact, having had the misfortune to stand marginally closer to the skeptical unicorn than her more colorful friend.

Rarity took up the baton, looking nervously around the room for support. “Then, she lurks by the stores…”

“Oh my,” groaned Twilight theatrically. Behind the librarian’s back, Rarity flashed the other mares a hurt expression. Everypony was thinking the same thing. What the hay was Twilight’s problem?

“And then, she digs at the ground,” Fluttershy whispered. Applejack found herself nodding. There was just no reason for somepony to do that. It was creepy—and it made holes in the street. She’d had to tug the apple cart through a pothole caused by one of Zecora’s earlier visits just this morning, and it hadn’t been fun. Stupid zebra, messing up the good Ponyville streets for no reason…

“Good gracious!” exploded Twilight with all the melodramatic horror she could muster. Fluttershy drooped, chastened into silence.

Applejack felt her jaw tighten at the sight of Twilight Sparkle practically galloping right over whatever else the yellow pegasus had been about to say. What was wrong with that mare? If she was trying to study the magic of condescending your friends, she was sure as shooting well on her way to writing her own book on the subject.

Seemingly reading Applejack’s thoughts, Twilight sighed. “Okay, I’m sorry…”

Well, that was better, then. But before anypony could accept the apology, Twilight took it all back with, “…But how is any of this bad? Maybe she comes to town to visit!”

Right. Somepony—some zebra—just hides in the Everfree Forest and doesn’t say a thing to anypony, and then suddenly appears one day out of every month without any warning or so much as a how-do-you-do. If Twilight was making a point, Applejack couldn’t see it.

But to Applejack’s dismay, Apple Bloom seemed to be buying into the entire cartload of manure. The little yellow filly nodded, her face a mask of earnest intent. “Yeah! Maybe she’s just tryin’ to be neighborly!”

“…And maybe she’s not lurking by the stores. Maybe she’s going to them. Lurk free. To do some shopping?” Twilight grinned at her clever logic, obviously expecting to win over the crowd.

Nopony was buying it, and Applejack knew why. Who had ever seen Zecora go into a store? Nopony. Who had ever said they’d sold anything to her? Nopony. Where would that weird zebra even get the bits to buy things living out by herself in the Everfree Forest? What, was she making her own bits out there? Nope. The earth pony could tell a clever fiction when she saw one.

Unfortunately, Apple Bloom couldn’t. She was obviously too wrapped up in the idea of being on the same page as the smartest pony in Ponyville to notice that the apples she was getting served up to her were horseapples. Her amber eyes glittered with righteous indignation as she played backup fiddle to Twilight Sparkle. “Yeah! Everypony likes to shop! You know what Ah think?”

Seasons and Celestia preserve Equestria from the wisdom of little fillies who were just out of diapers. Applejack had had enough. “Apple Bloom! Hush. C’mere, you.”

Taking Apple Bloom off a few paces, Applejack lowered her voice and hissed, “Remember what Ah said about them bad apples…”

“But Ah—” Apple Bloom started to protest.

Applejack hugged her sister tightly and shushed her. “Hush now, you silly filly. Look, ever since our pa and ma… passed... who’s been takin’ care of ya?”

“Granny Smith an’ Big Mac an’ you, Sis… But—” Apple Bloom tried to struggle free, but Applejack hadn’t been bucking apples for so many seasons to let a little critter like her sister get away that easily.

“An’ even when we seem wrong at th’ time, don’t we always love ya and try to do what’s best for ya?” Applejack continued, keeping the red-maned filly tightly in her grasp.

The conversation had been continuing behind the two earth ponies as Twilight Sparkle kept up her relentless assault on common sense. The unicorn practically shouted, “I’m sure there’s an explanation for everything Zecora does. And if anypony here were actually brave enough to approach her, she would find out the truth!”

“Well Ah’m brave enough!” Apple Bloom managed to slip free of her big sister’s grasp, only to find herself jerked to a halt before she could make her escape.

“A’nope,” Applejack growled, her words slightly muffled through Apple Bloom’s fur and big red bow. “Yer gonna come back with me to th’ farm, an’ we are gonna have words. Yer not going near th’ Everfree Forest, an’ you are not gonna talk to any weird, stripey-furred zebras unless yer big sis says it’s okay! Now c’mon!”

Leaving the shocked quintet of mares behind her, Applejack transitioned her grip to her sister’s ear and practically dragged the protesting yellow filly out the door. They made a beeline straight for Sweet Apple Acres.

* * *

“That dern Twilight, fillin’ mah sister’s head with crazy ideas,” Applejack grumbled to herself as she pulled the emptied apple cart into the barn. The day at the market had not gone well, all thanks to that strange black-and-white enchantress. It was a bit hard to sell anything to customers who were busy cowering in their houses. Oh, and Twilight Sparkle’s annoyingly preachy rant. That hadn’t improved the day, either.

Applejack wasn’t an unreasonable pony. She could see the argument for not judging someone by their exterior… but wasn’t that the whole point of things like cutie marks? The orange-furred mare looked back at the trio of red apples that adorned each flank. She knew who she was, but those apples helped other ponies to know too—at a glance. Nice and simple.

Where did high and mighty Canterlot-born ponies like Twilight get off saying anything about judging ponies, anyway? Cousin Apple Brown Betty had brought back quite some tales about life in Canterlot… and about how the unicorns up there treated earth ponies. ‘Dirt pony,’ some of the more honest unicorns had called Betty. It was disgusting.

One final grunt and Applejack had the cart parked for the evening. It had still been far too full when she brought it back; the earth pony would have to do the same thing all over again tomorrow. Thank you, Zecora, for that wonderful opportunity. The farmer considered giving her apple cart a vicious kick, but that would hurt no one but herself—well it would hurt the cart, anyway.

Glancing at the sky, Applejack could see that the sun was dipping low towards the horizon. Her stomach rumbled. It was nearly time for dinner. She could already smell the heavenly scent of spiced apples wafting out of the kitchen where Big Mac slaved away over a hot stove.

A lot of ponies assumed that the hulking red stallion did most of the manual labor while all three females of the local Apple clan did all the “mare’s work.” That just showed what they knew… which was nothing much about the price of apples in Hoofington. Applejack grinned. Speaking of which… The farmer did some calculations, muttering to herself. “Lessee… should be about… Five bits per quarter-bushel this week. If’n Aunt Bramley was right about this year’s yield.”

The orange mare trotted up to the house just in time for Big Mac to ring the dinner bell. Applejack pushed open the door and walked inside. “Hey, Big Mac. Dinner gonna be good tonight?”

“A’yup,” the big stallion replied through his teeth. Gripping a spatula with his muzzle, he carefully flipped an apple fritter from the skillet onto one of the waiting plates and turned back to the stove.

Applejack glanced around the kitchen. Hmm. Apple Bloom must be washing up; she could hear water running in the next room. Smiling, the mare called to her younger sister. “Now, ya naughty little filly, ya best be washin’ those hooves extra good tonight!”

“Eh? Speak up,” replied the cracked, whispery voice of Granny Smith. The ancient matriarch of the Apple clan peeked her head out of the scullery and speared her young granddaughter with a rheumy stare. “Did ya jest call yer gran a filly? Why, when Ah was yer age…”

The rushing of blood in Applejack’s ears drowned out anything else Granny Smith might have said about times long before when the old green mare was Applejack’s age. Where was Apple Bloom? “Big Mac… Didn’t Ah leave Apple Bloom with you..? Where is she?”

Ever talkative, Big Mac simply shrugged. His gesture seemed to indicate that wherever Apple Bloom had gone, she could have gotten there ages ago for all the attention he’d been paying.

“Ah told ya she needed watchin’, Big Mac!” Applejack complained. The red stallion shrugged again. She was an Apple, wasn’t she? She wasn’t going knowingly to get into a situation she couldn’t handle. And after all, there was cooking to be done.

“Why, ya big, stupid—!” cried the mare. Applejack groaned and covered her face with one hoof. She took a deep breath, and let it out slowly. Yelling at Big Mac, dumb lunk that he was, wasn’t going to help.

All right, Applejack. No need to be a silly pony about this. Apple Bloom couldn’t have gone far, right? No reason to assume that she had done anything too stupid… Oh, who was she kidding? The orange mare was off like a shot, crying her little sister’s name. “Apple Bloom! Apple Bloom, y’all best c’mere this instant! Apple Bloom! Ah’m gonna tan yer hide if ya are where Ah bet ya are!”

Big Macintosh and Granny Smith exchanged glances in the suddenly quiet kitchen. Big Mac sighed. “An’ she runs off like that without tellin’ anypony where Apple Bloom mighta’ gone that has ‘er so spooked. That mare needs to calm the buck down… Ow!”

“Language, young’n! Or y’all feel the back of mah hoof again!” Granny Smith exclaimed, brandishing the threatened hoof in front of her grandson’s heavily-built muzzle.

The stallion massaged his cheek gently, working away the sting of the ancient pony’s whip-quick slap. “S-sorry, Granny…”

“Iffen ya can’t say it without those words, it’s not worth sayin’… Though Applejack does need ta slow down. Apple Bloom’s an Apple, an’ no Apple worth ‘er name is gonna get inta more trouble ‘n she can handle. Silly pony,” sighed the aged mare.

Joints creaking with age, Granny Smith slid into her chair at the head of the table. She winced a bit when the chair creaked almost as much as her bones did. Once everything seemed to settle down, though, the old green mare brightened. “So! Let’s eat.”

“A’yup…” The chair next to the matriarch’s honored spot groaned faintly as Big Mac lowered his bulk into it.

The stallion reached for an apple fritter—and his grandmother’s hoof whipped out again. “A’yeouch!”

Granny Smith’s sigh spoke volumes. “Colts these days, Ah tell ya… Not until we thank Celestia, ya rowdy heathen.”

“Sorry, Granny…”

* * *

Applejack’s breath rasped in her throat as she galloped in the eerie half-night of the Everfree Forest. Wind whispered through the leaves, passing the message from twisted oak to knotted hawthorn: a farmer was coming—one who had made taming their brethren her life’s work. Gnarled tree branches slashed at the orange mare as she hurried past, tearing into her with vengeful wooden claws.

There was a small splash of light ahead in the gloom. This had to be the place. Pushing through the mists, Applejack slowed to a trot and practically felt her way forward. She pushed through a large thicket. She crawled under a massive deadfall tree too high to jump over and too wide to bypass. Grimacing at the strange smell, the earth pony waded through a thick patch of eerie bluish plants that left a faint, tingling residue on her skin.

“Part of that witch’s unholy garden Ah bet,” Applejack muttered to herself as she scowled down at the blue leaves. “Celestia banish th’ zebras…”

Panting and bloodied, Applejack paused to catch her breath at the door of the witch’s hovel. The structure seemed to be carved from one single, crabbed tree almost like a dark parody of Twilight Sparkle’s library. The earth pony leaned against the slimy bark of the tree, listening intently to the low murmur of conversation drifting through the wood. One voice was deep, with a strange timbre and an odd rhythmic cadence. The other…

Zecora and her little yellow guest looked up as the zebra’s door crashed open. The door slammed against the wall of the hut, the doorknob denting the living wood as the doorjamb creaked alarmingly. Apple Bloom squealed in surprise. “What th’-!”

Standing in the open doorway was Applejack. Her green eyes practically blazed in the flickering candles of the hut’s strange interior. The brim of the earth pony’s hat cast strange shadows on her face as she growled out an order that brooked no protest. “Apple Bloom. Get over here… NOW.”

Apple Bloom had only seen her big sister like this once before—the time Apple Bloom had wanted to stay out and play during a light rainstorm. When the weather turned sour and the first lightning bolt arced into the ground not two miles from the farm, Applejack had called for her little sister to head for the house. The filly had thought it was a joke until the next bolt came closer and the third landed closer still.

Scared out of her senses, Apple Bloom had huddled under a creaking apple tree and started to pray. The sight of her big sister galloping towards her in the storm, rain drenching her mane and pouring off the felt brim of her hat, had seemed like the coming of Princess Celestia herself. The spanking the little yellow filly had gotten for disobeying Applejack once they were both safe back at the house had, not so coincidentally, also seemed like the coming of the Solar Princess… just in a different and more painful way.

Applejack’s raised hackles and near snarl were like a dark reflection of that earlier rescue. Nearly without any conscious decision on her part, Apple Bloom moved forward to obey her sister’s command. For a moment, Applejack’s face softened as she hugged her sister close. “C’mon little Sis, let’s getcha home.”

New rage blazed from the orange mare’s eyes as she looked from her sister back up to Zecora. “You…”

Zecora’s calm sapphire eyes met Applejack’s furious green glare. The zebra sat down on her haunches, the golden loops of her jewelry jingling as she assumed a nonthreatening, relaxed posture. The black and white creature sized up her uninvited visitor. “Hmm… A hat, golden mane, and three red fruits in back… I presume you’re the pony they call Applejack?”

“An’ yer that witch, Zecora. Stay away from mah sister or Ah’ll buck yer tree house right on its side!” If Applejack had hoped that Zecora would bristle from the threat—or from the angry hoof practically shoved up her muzzle—she was disappointed.

The zebra jerked back to avoid being struck, but kept the same infuriatingly calm demeanor. In fact, she almost seemed to smile. “My apologies, Applejack, if I offended… You insist? Then, my time with your sister is ended.”

“Yer darn tootin’ it is.” Applejack delivered that last with an angry toss of her mane as she wheeled around and trotted for the door, Apple Bloom in tow. The little yellow filly cast an apologetic look over her shoulder, but followed her sister outside.

Applejack took great satisfaction in slamming the door behind her. Stupid, weird, stripey enchantress. And what was with those bizarre rhymes? Talking like that all the time? Hah, yeah right. The zebra was probably laughing into her hoof at them right now.

Pushing such thoughts aside, Applejack turned to her sister. Her heart sank. Apple Bloom looked ready to cry—no, scratch that. Tears were already rolling silently down the little filly’s cheeks as she looked up into the determined eyes of her big sister. The orange mare bent low, trying to make soothing sounds. “Shhh… Don’t cry on me, Apple Bloom. Yer safe now; Ah’m here. Let’s go… But the next time Ah tell you not to talk to zebras, y’all better listen.”

“Ah… Sis, she isn’t bad at all,” Apple Bloom protested—but Applejack had already started moving. Grinding her teeth in frustration, the yellow earth pony followed behind her big sister. Although Apple Bloom cast worried looks back towards Zecora’s hut, it was no use. In a few minutes, the mists had closed behind them and the hut could no longer be seen.

By the time the two ponies returned to Sweet Apple Acres, both were exhausted. Applejack forced Apple Bloom to take a bath, but reserved no such luxury for herself. The fires of her rage were banked, but they’d left behind them a dull tingling in her body and a throbbing headache behind her eyes. The orange mare barely had the energy to gulp down some of the leftovers from her abandoned dinner—now cold—before she collapsed into bed. What a day. Tomorrow, she hoped, couldn’t fail to be better.

* * *

So tired was Applejack that she didn’t rise until at least a few minutes after the sun’s golden disc had edged above the horizon line. She groaned and pushed herself out of bed, struggling with uncooperative covers that wrapped around her like the clinging tentacles of some mythical monster. Ugh… What a night. She must have been tossing and turning the entire time.

The farmer groaned again and headed for the washroom, barely even able to force her eyes open enough to splash some water into her face properly. Instead, Applejack simply buried her muzzle in the washbasin until she felt better. All right, that was enough. In the excitement of the day before, a lot hadn’t gotten done that should have—including some shopping. So now that was on top of the day’s chores. There was no time to waste.

Water still dripping from her face, Applejack turned to go—and froze with one hoof out the door. She could have sworn she’d seen a flash of black and white, just out of the corner of her eye… No. She wasn’t going to look. If Zecora had laid some little hex on her, Twilight would deal with it. The farmer was just going to keep walking.

Ignoring the temptation to check the mirror again for any ghostly zebras behind her, Applejack grabbed her hat, planted it firmly on her head, and continued down the stairs. Apple Bloom was already waiting for her in the living room, poking at some leftover apple fritter from the night before.

“G’morning A-applejack, how are..?” Apple Bloom looked up from her breakfast and trailed off mid-greeting, looking almost like she’d seen a ghost. Her amber eyes searched Applejack’s face, probably noting all the extra creases and lines that a poor night’s sleep must have put there.

Only managing a grunt in response, Applejack waved her sister out the door. It was time to go. The farmer grabbed her saddlebags with difficulty, her eyes still blurry and sleep-crusted as she nearly stumbled off the porch.

The two sisters trotted in silence up the long road toward Ponyville. The crisp morning seemed unusually cold to Applejack for late summer, but she was glad of the bracingly cool breezes. Her head and vision were finally beginning to clear, leaving the farmer feeling a little more like herself. She glanced over at Apple Bloom, but the yellow filly was still clammed up, not saying a word.

Applejack sighed. Her little sister wasn’t holding a grudge about the previous evening, was she? Apple Bloom hadn’t even gotten a well-deserved spanking despite wandering into the Everfree Forest after some crazy zebra who could have done Celestia-knew-what before anypony could rescue her. Well, fine. If the little foal was going to be silly, let her be silly. No skin off Applejack’s muzzle.

Oppressive silence continued to weigh on Applejack as the two walked down the path. By the time Ponyville came into view, she’d decided—enough was enough. The mare stopped Apple Bloom and said, “Thanks for th’ peace and quiet, A.B…”

Suddenly Applejack found herself tripping over her own tongue. She tried to finish her sentence. All she wanted to say was, ‘but the silent treatment ain’t the way to reward yer sister fer savin’ ya,’ but somehow the words wouldn’t come. She struggled to say something. Anything! Finally some words forced themselves out, feeling strange as they rolled off her tongue. “…B-but yer silent treatment ain’t workin’ on me.”

Apple Bloom stared at her sister. Applejack worked her mouth nervously. What the hay had that been about? Finally something clicked in the farmer’s mind. ‘blah blah blah blah blah A.B… blah blah blah blah blah blah me.’ She’d been compelled to rhyme. But why?

The same thought seemed to occur to Apple Bloom as well—but for her, somehow the forced couplet made sense. Her little face broke into a cheeky grin. “Sorry, Sis… but ya told me not to speak to zebras…”

“What the hay..?” Applejack stared at her sister. What did that even mean? Apple Bloom simply pointed down with one hoof and started snickering into the other.

Applejack looked down. And saw black. And white. And black again. And white again. This had to be a dream. She groaned. “Oh, no. No way.”

Alternating black and white stripes covered Applejack’s forelegs. She looked around wildly and saw a convenient pond. In an instant she was at the edge of the water staring into its depths. A surprised-looking zebra with green eyes stared back. She had a brown felt hat perched precariously atop her head—over the top of black and white striped mane. In the back, the long strands of hair were still bound up in the farmer’s usual ponytail. In the front, a mohawk made it almost impossible that her father’s hat should stay on, let alone that it should rest at the proper angle. She looked ridiculous.

With a sinking heart, Applejack craned her neck and stared at her now black-and-white sides. Surely even a curse would at least leave her with some semblance of her identity… But a low moan escaped from the farmer’s lips as she saw how silly that hope had been.

Applejack’s familiar cutie mark was still there in part… but it had been twisted into a parody of its former self. The apples were simple, almost abstract outlines. Instead of cheery red, the shapes were white with strange black swirls. Applejack’s transformation had taken almost everything that made her, her. And the new zebra knew exactly who to blame… Nopony but Zecora could have done something like this.

“Whatcha gonna do, Sis?” Apple Bloom asked. Having had her laugh, her expression was turning to worry. She could see the strained look in her sister’s black- and white-striped face.

“Ah… Ah think Ah’ll seek help from… Twilight…Urgh…” Applejack tried to stop there. She shut her mouth and kept it clamped tight. There was a short but pregnant pause while her face started to turn red. The zebra stamped her hooves in anguish, driving them deep into the soil.

Finally when Applejack could take no more, she blurted out the rest of the rhyme in a rush. “…Ah’m confident she’ll make things right.”

“Ah’ll come with ya,” Apple Bloom announced firmly—only to find her striped sister looming over her and shaking her head.

Waving one black hoof back in the direction they had come, Applejack shook her head even harder. Finally, she gave up the effort and bowed to the inevitable. “No, Apple Bloom, back to th’ farm. Ah want to keep ya safe from harm.”

“But Ah—”

“No! No buts. Go see Big Mac…” Applejack glanced back at her alternating stripes and grimaced. “…An’ don’ say why Ah ain’t come back. Say Ah got business with a friend, an’ Ah’ll be back before day’s end.”

When Apple Bloom looked ready to protest again, Applejack gave her sister a quick swat on the flank. “Now go on! Hyah! Get on with ya!”

Working her mouth awkwardly at the annoying novelty of obsessive rhyming, Applejack watched her sister trot back down toward Sweet Apple Acres. She sighed. That zebra enchantress was going to get what was coming to her. But first… First the ex-pony had to get this… this curse, or whatever it was, lifted. Twilight Sparkle would be her best bet. Celestia’s faithful student would know what to do.

Chapter 02: What Makes Me, Me

“I’m stumped! I have no idea how to fix this! I don’t even know what caused it!” Twilight Sparkle tossed the last of a large stack of books into a disorganized pile on the floor. Useless. None of them had anything about an earth pony—or any pony for that matter—suddenly switching species, let alone the… other symptom.

“Ah’m tellin ya Twilight, it’s that zebra’s doin’! She’s cursed me up good with some dark potion brewin’!” Applejack tried making gestures in case that got the truth through the purple mare’s thick skull, but no such luck. The ex-pony ground her teeth. Why was it that this good-for-nothing, never-did-a-day-of-honest-work-in-her-life unicorn wouldn’t listen? The cause was obvious; why didn’t Twilight see it?! Besides, who cared about causes? It was solutions she should be after!

“But there’s no such thing as a curse,” Twilight replied automatically for what seemed like the five hundredth time.

Applejack’s green eyes rolled expressively in her black- and white-marked face. “So, Ah’m dreamin’ this, eh? It’ll all go away?”

“Yes! No. Er… I don’t know.” The purple unicorn sagged, speared by the farmer’s irritated glare.

Spike tapped Twilight on the side with a large, heavy-looking book. “I’m telling you, Twilight, why don’t you check in this book? ‘Super Naturals!’ You haven’t looked at it yet…”

“Spike, I don’t have time to waste on that. ‘Supernatural’ refers to things like ghosts, and spirits, and zombies… which are as make-believe as curses. That book is just a bunch of…” Twilight trailed off as she and Spike stared at Applejack. The former earth pony sat dejectedly on the floor, staring down at the wide-brimmed hat that was resting between her front hooves.

“Well anyway, Applejack,” the purple unicorn continued, “This is going to take a little more time. I know I can find a solution. We just—”

“Ya need time. Ah know. Ah guess Ah’ll just go.” One quick, fluid movement sent Applejack’s hat from the floor rolling up her front legs until it rested precariously on her mohawk. The zebra mare pressed the hat down to make sure it stayed and nodded to both Twilight and Spike.

Applejack was just about to open the door when a ball of sweet-smelling elastic energy bounced into the room, bowling over the former earth pony and nearly crashing into the huge pile of books beside Spike. It was Pinkie Pie. “Twilight! Twiiiiilight! I just heard! Zecora’s brought a friend! It’s a zebra invasion! I-- Ohmygosh there she is now! Save meeeeee!”

With that last plaintive cry, the pink party pony leaped into the air and landed in Spike’s reflexively upheld arms. The young dragon staggered under the sudden weight. Fortunately constantly re-shelving books for Twilight Sparkle, Equestria’s Messiest Librarian, had its perks. After one last wobble, Spike straightened with a grunt and stood firm. Pinkie giggled. “Oooooh, my hero, Spikey!”

“Pinkie Pie… that’s not a zebra. That’s, um…” trailing off, Twilight sighed. “Okay yes, she is a zebra. But it’s Applejack. Calm down.”

As might have been expected, telling Pinkie Pie to be calm had the opposite effect. The earth pony gaped. “You mean a zebra ate Applejack and took her power?!”

“What? No, I don’t think you can do that…” Twilight tried to re-engage her brain, ignoring the temptation to analyze Pinkie Pie’s leaps of illogic as she worked to figure out how to get the conversation back on track.

Pinkie Pie thought for a moment, tapping one hoof under her chin. “Oooooh! Applejack was bitten by a zebra and now she shares their thirst for the blood of living ponies!”

Still on the floor, Applejack facehoofed. Controlling a conversation with Pinkie Pie using reason was like extinguishing a grease fire with water. Rather than go out, the flames of Pinkie’s… Pinkiness simply spread to a new area and burned all the brighter.

Twilight tried again. “I think that’s vampires, actu—Wait, what was I..? No, Pinkie! There’s nothing wrong with her like that, it’s just that—!”

“Look out below!” Rainbow Dash cried, tumbling through a window and crashing into one of the shelves. Books showered down into a pile even larger than the one Twilight had made in her mad research sprint.

Spike dropped Pinkie Pie and groaned, clutching at his head. “I just organized those, Rainbow Dash!”

“Eh, it’s good for you.” Rainbow’s colorful head popped out of the pile of books. She quickly climbed to the top of it and posed dramatically. “We’ll call it… the Rainbow Dash Surprise Workout Plan! Yeah!”

Sweeping the room for signs of any applause, Dash’s rose-colored eyes focused on the dejected-looking zebra who was only now picking herself up off the floor. The pegasus cringed. “Oh no, it’s Zecora! Everypony for herself! Fillies and pegasus ponies first!”

“It’s not Zecora, it’s ‘Zebra’jack!” Spike hastened to explain, chuckling a little at his witticism. “Because, right, it’s Applejack, but…”

“Huh, that’s Applejack?! What did she do, paint on some racing stripes and get carried away?” Rainbow’s shoulders shook with barely contained laughter.

Checking to make sure nothing had permanently damaged her much-abused hat, Applejack pushed the crown back out and rammed the wide-brimmed thing on over her dichromatic mane. Soon, she felt like she would be black and white and red all over—a blush had been rising steadily on her cheeks starting at Pinkie Pie’s unwanted arrival. With Rainbow Dash here, four of her friends had seen her like this. Was everypony going to find out before she could make her escape? That just left…

“H-hello everypony? I was wondering if…” Fluttershy’s voice called quietly from near the library entrance.

Rarity’s cultured tones broke in over Fluttershy’s as the two mares surveyed the chaos that had come to Twilight’s home. “My goodness! What a dreadful mess! Fluttershy and I were just coming back from the spa when we—Oh sweet Celestia, it’s Zecora!”

“It’s not Zecora, it’s Applejack!” cried Twilight.

“Is it some kind of curse?” Pinkie guessed. “Or maybe… a DOUBLE curse!”

Rainbow Dash hovered close over the farm zebra. “So the paint washes off, right AJ? How’d you do the tail like that?”

“Get it? ‘Zebra’jack?” Spike grinned, still waiting for laughter that probably wasn’t going to come.

Now everypony was talking at once. The babble of voices grew and grew. The farmer’s friends were talking about Applejack. They were talking to Applejack. They were talking to each other about inane things and swapping jokes. It went on and on.

Applejack found herself grinding her teeth as the cacophony grew. Finally, she could take it so more. She slammed both front hooves on the floor with a resounding bang and shouted, “CONSARN IT! STOP FLAPPIN’ YER STUPID JAWS, AFORE AH STARTS SLAPPIN’ YA SILLY, Y’ALL!”

Blessed silence. Applejack could hear herself think again. Sighing in relief, the zebra sat mutely and considered her next move. After a few moments she looked back up and tried to smile. “Twi, thanks fer tellin’ me all that ya know. But ah know who can solve this… Ah really must go.”

“If Twilight can’t—Gasp! You’re not talking about Zecora, are you?” Pinkie Pie asked, her face a picture of horrified denial.

With a few flaps of her wings Rainbow Dash blocked the exit. She hovered, forelegs crossed, in front of the farm zebra’s face. “That’s suicide! You saw what she did to you just from… Wait, how did she do this to you?”

“Uh… Ah’d like ta say more, Dash who… soars with the birds. But ah find it annoying to rhyme all mah words. Ah’ll fill y’all in proper when Ah’m back good as new after feedin’ Zecora her own evil brew,” Applejack promised.

Dash started to nod hesitantly, but shook it instead when a new thought occurred to her. “I guess that seems—wait. Shouldn’t somepony go with you? I bet with me along it’ll be all, bam! Pow! Ol’ Zecky won’t know what hit her!”

“Ah thank ya, R.D. fer yer loyalty true, but a mare’s gotta do what a mare’s gotta do,” Applejack replied. “Ah’m not bein’ stubborn like Applebuck Season. Ah tell y’all now that Ah’ve got a good reason. Er… If she won’t help then Ah’ll drag her to town so y’all can assist me in holdin’ her down.”

“…So you want us to wait here to ambush somepony who could be completely innocent, Applejack? We don’t even know she has anything to do with your condition,” protested Twilight.

When every eye in the room turned to glare at her, the unicorn shrank in on herself. “Um... Just saying… Shouldn’t you talk to her first? Then if she really is an evil enchantress, you can give us a signal when you bring her to Ponyville…”

Applejack nodded. Twilight was persistent, the farm zebra had to give her that. And maybe the unicorn was right. Hmm… There was an idea. Applejack poked a dark hoof at the wide-brimmed brown Stetson on her head. “All right Twilight, we’ll try it yer way. There’s wisdom in some o’ th’ things that ya say. Ah’ve kept Pa’s old hat, here, fer many a season. Iffen Ah’m not wearin’ it there’s a good reason. So here, Twilight Sparkle, Ah’ll give ya a sign… If Ah don’t have mah hat on… It’s clobberin’ time. ”

* * *

Confronting Zecora and either forcing the zebra to lift the curse on Applejack or leading the witch back to face pony justice made for a good plan. Applejack knew it was a good one, because she’d thought of it. With some help, sure. Nevertheless, what had seemed like an amazing idea in the early stages was now costing the ex-pony a significant amount of both heartache and hoofache.

With Applejack’s new stripe-covered look, getting out of Ponyville without frightening everypony had been a chore and a half. She’d finally resorted to getting Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash to stage a diversion while Rarity, Twilight, and Fluttershy smuggled the former earth pony to the edge of town. The diversion had turned out to be some sort of street poem battle. Applejack didn’t really get the point, but what she did get was a sense of growing annoyance at the thought of such things. Well, what were friends for but to find inventive ways to remind her of a serious magical curse that forced her to talk in rhymes?

“Zecora’s hut. Ah’m here at last. Was thinkin’ Ah had wandered past,” Applejack muttered to herself as she pushed through yet another thicket and finally came into view of the twisted tree house.

Now that Applejack could see it in full daylight the hut looked, if anything, even creepier than it had before. Strange masks adorned the walls, leering at the zebra as she approached. The gnarled branches seemed like monstrous twisting tentacles rather than branches. The farmer could swear that if she looked away from the tree and looked back fast enough, she would catch some of the limbs in slightly different positions. Shuddering, she pressed on and reached the door.

Zecora answered on the second knock. At first, the witch’s blue eyes widened in surprise. Then, her face stretched into a grin. She exclaimed something happily, making a series of sounds completely incomprehensible to the dumfounded Applejack.

When more confused babble came out of Zecora’s mouth, Applejack stumbled back and took up a crouched defensive stance. Her tail lashed angrily as she shouted back, “Git back and stop that crazy verse! Ah’m here to make ya lift this curse. Ah’ve got one now. More, Ah don’t need. So stop or on those words ya’ll feed!”

“Oh my! For do my ears deceive? You’re… Applejack, I do believe!” Now the zebra witch was speaking in normal Equestrian. Zecora backed up and waved the newcomer inside. “I wondered how more zebras roamed so far from my Savanah home. Come in! Come in, without such fuss... I think we have much to discuss.”

Not wanting to pile more rhymes into her already overheating brain, Applejack nodded wordlessly and trotted inside. The real zebra motioned her cursed counterpart over to some soft cushions and made the farmer sit down. Pottery clinked as Zecora approached bearing a tray with two cups and a round, lidded container with a short spout.

Zecora poured some hot, steaming liquid into a cup and pushed it over to Applejack. The latter stared at it dubiously. This was… not how she had expected her confrontation with the other zebra to go. Maybe the drink was drugged somehow? …No, Zecora was pouring one for herself now and had just taken a sip. What was going on here?

“Mmm… Tea of my country, a bitter brew… But most relaxing, it is true.” Zecora took another sip of the hot, bitter tea and closed her eyes, sighing happily.

Applejack sat on the cushion, ill at ease. Following a few moments’ hesitation she sipped the tea. It was bitter, like Zecora had said… but also somehow soothing. The farm zebra closed her eyes for a moment, relishing the feeling of contentment. When she opened them, she saw that Zecora was watching her with interest. Probably just amused about how her curse had turned out. Applejack felt her bile start to rise. “Ah thank ya for yer zebra tea. But would ya jest start curin’ me?”

“Your problem’s strange, at any rate… Perhaps you could the facts relate?” Zecora sipped her tea again, but now her calm seemed almost infuriating to the incredulous Applejack.

Was Zecora really saying that she didn’t know how this had happened? Wasn’t she the enchantress who had cursed Applejack in the first place? Applejack set her cup down. Wouldn’t want to break any of the nice zebra mare’s pottery… if nice she truly was.

Applejack leveled one dark hoof at her hostess. “Ah think the one who cast this spell would know th’ details too dern well.”

“A baseless accusation, dear, made out of ignorance and fear.” Zecora put her cup down as well, frowning.

Ignorance and fear? Oh, that was cute. Now the other zebra was starting to sound just like Twilight. Maybe they could get together and compare notes, maybe have some fun preaching at everypony. All right. Enough was enough.

Applejack climbed to her hooves, feeling her blood boiling. If the farmer had ever had an appetite for condescension, she wouldn’t have wanted it served up by the likes of Zecora—not even with a silver platter of spiced apple fritters on the side. The cursed zebra exploded in anger. “Horsefeathers, Zecora, ya crazy mare! Yer friendly talk’s all just hot air! Ah bet you’ll spill what yer about, once Ah mess up that pretty snout!”

“Crazy? Me? No, that is you, to threaten me as now you do!” Zecora stood up as well, stretching and popping her joints as her blue eyes glared at the combative farmer.

The urge to rhyme didn’t seem to interrupt Applejack as she snarled and charged forward. In a jumbled blur, the livid farm zebra suddenly found herself right where she’d intended to be—but without Zecora under her hooves. Where had the witch gone? Applejack turned to find her target across the room and apparently unhurt. How had she..?!

“To fight me here, good sense you lack. Calm down, oh zebra Applejack!” called Zecora from her new position as Applejack squared up for another attempt.

“Oh, Ah think not. Jes’ stand and fight, and Ah’ll show you who’s in the right!” Applejack retorted—and charged again. ‘Zebra Applejack.’ Of all the blasted insulting jokes to make… No zebra witch tricks, this time. The farmer was going to get over there and put these hooves to good use, and then she was going to get Zecora to change her back, and then…

Just as Applejack reached Zecora, hooves pawing at the air, there was another confused moment—and that was all.

A short while later—or perhaps a very long while; it was hard to tell for sure—Applejack opened her eyes. The blurred room came back into focus, and she realized she was lying flat on her back. She had a splitting headache.

When a bowl of some sour-smelling liquid was pushed to Applejack’s muzzle, she gagged and turned her head away. Somepony gently pushed her head back up and urged, “Drink up this draft and stay in bed. Both things will aid your aching head.”

The bed was soft… but there was no way Applejack was going to drink some outlandish brew from the weird zebra enchantress. Growling her annoyance, she pushed the bowl away. “Ah dun want drafts. Ah want a cure that lifts the curse ya cast fer sure.”

“And still you persist. Why on me do you focus? I’m a mixer of salves, not some strange hocus-pocus,” Zecora protested, a bit of real annoyance showing in her tone for the first time. She set down her potion and glared at the farmer.

Trying to get up sent crackling pain through Applejack’s skull. She groaned and settled back into the cushions, returning the witch’s glare with one of her own. What had happened, anyway? The farmer could remember charging, and then… And then what? She couldn’t recall. Had Zecora used some kind of spell to knock out her foe?

Well, that settled it. Nopony could just turn someone’s lights out like that, not without magic. If Applejack had had any thought that she might have been barking up the wrong tree, this cinched it. But there was no way she was going to be able to take down an enemy with the strength of an ex-earth pony alone, as much as it galled Applejack to admit it. “Ah don’t know how, but ya kicked mah flank. Ya must be an enchantress of first rank.”

Zecora sighed in exasperation. “You persist still in that superstitious belief, yet won’t sample a brew that will give you relief?”

“Th’ relief that I want ain’t from pain but from this! An’ if ya dun like it, go to the abyss!” Applejack blinked and crossed her eyes, staring at her black and white muzzle. The abyss? Where had that one come from? With a grunt of effort the farmer managed to sit up. The headache was bad, but she was sure she’d had worse. She just couldn’t think of when right now…

Applejack swayed for a moment before she steadied herself. Shaking her head, Zecora sighed and offered the bowl of sour, milky fluid once again. “If stubborn and proud you wish to stay, that headache will not go away.”

When Applejack started to push the bowl away again, the foreign zebra sighed and took an exaggerated sip from the potion. She swallowed, making sure the farmer could see her do it. “It isn’t poisoned, little foal. Now, help your head. Drink down this bowl.”

Simply moving her head was maing Applejack woozy. Giving in, she bit into the lip of the bowl and emptied the contents down her throat. The fluid was as terrible on the tongue as it had been to her nose… but to her amazement, it seemed to help almost immediately.

The surprise and relief must have been plain on Applejack’s face. In a moment, Zecora was helping the groaning farm zebra to her hooves. “There. Perhaps I can help, my rude farming friend… If it makes your visit more swiftly to end.”

“Yer help’s what I want; that’s why ah came here—so ya’d help make these black and white stripes disappear.” Finally the conversation was getting somewhere. To underscore her point, Applejack waved a hoof at her transformed body.

“To cry ‘help’ with attacks; making threats to seek aid? That seems an odd custom to me, I’m afraid… But as said before, your affliction seems strange—so for me, dear Applejack, the facts arrange,” Zecora prompted.

Once again, it seemed like Zecora wanted to play Applejack for a foal. How could the zebra witch not know? Or was it some twisted joke to get the victim of the curse to explain the curse to the caster?

Sighing in annoyance, Applejack scratched her head and tried to think. This one-on-one business wasn’t working. She was going to have to bring in the heavies. But if she wanted to get Zecora into Ponyville to get a real answer out of her, this was probably her best bet. “Fine. Ah hope some clues ya find. Sit back. Mah tale Ah will unwind.”

Applejack started from the day prior, explaining everything she could think of. No detail was too trivial as she stumbled haltingly through poorly constructed couplets and strained verses. Rhyming as best she could, the farmer explained about the events leading up to her trip into the Everfree Forest. She related the first encounter with Zecora—bringing a a pained smile to the zebra’s face. And then, partway through the description of Applejack’s discovery of her bizarrely changed body, realization dawned in the listening zebra’s eyes.

Zecora interrupted with a cough. Thank Celestia for that. Applejack slowed to a stop, feeling like her brain was on fire from all the rhyming it had been doing. When the farmer had finished her last couplet, the enchantress asked, “Oh Applejack… Perhaps, tell true—touched you any plants of blue?”

Rubbing hoof to chin, Applejack pondered the question. It was obviously important. Had she seen… Hmm… “Ah walked through some just yesterday, when Ah was coming out this way.”

“Then, hah! I have it, well and true… The Poison Joke did this to you!” Zecora clapped her hooves gleefully, obviously pleased. Leaping up, the enchantress trotted over to a podium with a large green book resting on its polished surface. She flipped through a few pages and turned back, nodding happily.

Applejack looked blank, so Zecora explained, “The azure plant has magic fell… but I’ve a brew to make you well. Just trust in me and very soon you can return to Apple Bloom! Now come, we’ll make a careful list so not one thing we need is missed…”

The list was long… but seeing some of the items on it, Applejack had to fight hard to keep a malicious grin off her muzzle. Zecora expected her to believe that beets and ferns held the cure? Hah. Well, if Zecora was going through with this wild goose chase, she would need to go into town to acquire some of the ingredients. Perfect. Indicating a few entries with her hoof, the farmer commented, “Ah don’t know well the Everfree, but back in town we’ll find these three.”

Zecora hesitated, thinking for a moment. Her voice seemed almost nervous as she suggested, “A division of labor would fit the bill. For me, the woods. You? Ponyville.”

“Ah think together’s just as good. We each know our own neighborhood,” countered Applejack. If the zebra witch thought that AJ was going to let the creepy striped mare out of her sight for one moment, she had another thing coming.

“Hmm...” Golden jewelry clinked as Zecora nodded. “All right, fruit farmer, come with me. We’ll search the forest Everfree. And when we’re done we’ll head to town where you’ll make smiles of pony frowns.”

More like, ‘then AJ’s friends will hold you down’ if Applejack had any say in the matter. Ignoring the faint sense of fear she got from doing so, the farmer unobtrusively laid aside her wide-brimmed hat. It should be safe enough here. She could come back for it, she assured herself. More important even than the hat was getting her earth pony self back. If her parents had left her the Stetson, they had also left her, her. And that wasn’t something Applejack was going to lose to some stripey zebra curse.

Applejack stood straight and headed for the door, resolutely keeping her gaze from drifting back at her abandoned hat. She could come back for it. She was making the right choice. The words echoed and re-echoed in her head like a mantra as the farmer followed Zecora out into the Everfree Forest.

Walking in silence, the two striped mares picked their way through the tangled, twisting paths of the Celestia-forsaken wilderness. Applejack watched Zecora, trailing slightly behind the foreign zebra as the witch looked left and right for the potion ingredients. Zecora seemed oddly at ease despite the unpredictable nature of the environment. Only the slight twisting and flicking of her ears in response to unexpected sounds showed that she was paying attention to more than the ground at her hooves.

After another quarter hour of walking, the two zebras stopped at a clearing. Zecora searched the ground carefully and started to dig, pawing at the earth with one dark hoof.

For her part, Applejack simply watched, shifting uncertainly from hoof to hoof and trying not to burst with nervous energy. She tried glancing at the mysterious flora of the Everfree Forest to distract herself, but it was no use. Eventually the enchantress tugged out an oddly shaped tuber and grunted in satisfaction.

Finally, Applejack could take it no more. She cleared her throat to get the other mare’s attention and asked, “How far from yer country did ya’ll roam? Ya act almost like this here forest’s yer home.”

“My home?” Zecora chuckled as she continued, “this forest’s very strange—and far beyond my normal range. But cures are few and far between, so came I to this forest green.”

Applejack ducked under a branch as the two zebras started back from the clearing looking for the next item on the list. Already the ex-earth pony was regretting leaving her hat as flies buzzed and swarmed around the pair in the late morning heat. Maybe another question would take the farmer’s mind off things. She knew what to ask, too… Cures? For what? Wasn’t Zecora just a witch? “‘Cures are few and far between?’ Zecora, tell just what ya mean.”

“My homeland has no unicorns, with arcane potence in their horns. From nature’s boon we draw our powers—an herbalist, I study flowers,” Zecora explained as her gaze swept the ground for the distinctive, wispy tassels of some Heart’s Frond Fern. This was the right area for it…

Applejack gnawed a bit on her lip as she thought over the strange mare’s words. So Zecora was some sort of medicine maker? And she’d come to the Everfree Forest to find more plants to use for her unholy brews? No, Applejack corrected herself, not for brews, holy or otherwise. For medicines. It seemed strange, but who knew what unusual and maybe useful plants grew in the Everfree Forest? Zecora, for one, it seemed.

Surely there was something more to all this. Zecora couldn’t just live out in the woods, only come in to town to terrify everypony once a month, and accept being feared and loathed by all of Ponyville on suspicion of dark magic… just so that she could learn more about plants. Could she? That didn’t make sense, and Applejack said so. “If yer a pusher of potions an’ not incantations, then why ain’t ya spruced up yer bad reputation? Ya scare folks in Ponyville pretty dern bad. So shouldn’t that make ya a teensy bit sad?”

“Applejack, your words are true. But what can one lone zebra do?” the herbalist sighed. Aha, there was the Heart’s Frond. Bending low, Zecora tugged a few of the delicate ferns off their stems and dropped them into her bag.

Well, that was the last item available in the Everfree Forest… Zecora patted the bulging satchel and nodded to her companion. “The forest’s gifts will serve our need. To Ponyville, please take the lead.”

Nodding, Applejack trotted back to the path and started on the road towards Ponyville. The two zebras walked in silence—Applejack digesting what she’d learned, and Zecora quietly letting her do it. Several times the former earth pony slowed and turned as though about to say something to Zecora. Each time Applejack thought better of it and continued on, leaving the silence unbroken.

Making good time, the zebra pair crossed through the forest and reached the edge of Ponyville by mid afternoon. Applejack could envision almost precisely what was happening in the town this time of day. Some of the town’s colts would be playing hoofball in the park, with a few younger brothers and sisters cheering or booing from the sidelines. Carrot Top would just be wrapping up the last of her sales and packing up to go home—the dratted mare always seemed to sell out before the Apple family’s apple cart did despite AJ’s best efforts. And Pinkie Pie would probably be on her fourth or fifth sugar high of the day, so—Oh no. How could the farmer have let it slip her mind?

Zecora almost ran into Applejack as the farmer screeched to a sudden halt. The herbalist moved alongside and looked in askance at the concerned ex-pony. “A sudden stop, dear Applejack. Should we perhaps be turning back?”

“Ah… don’t think so. C’mon, let’s go.” Applejack started forward again, glancing into alleys and rooftops. The absence of the farmer’s hat preyed on her mind. When she’d left it at Zecora’s hut, AJ had been certain she was making the right call, preparing to give her friends the signal.

But the enchantress—no, the herbalist was helping, now. Wasn’t she? Zecora certainly didn’t seem to be hurting anything. All the zebra had done so far was defend herself and help gather a few ingredients for the potion she claimed would cure Applejack. She had even given painkillers to the mare who’d attacked her.

Nopony had noticed Applejack and Zecora yet. Maybe the two zebras could get into town, get what they needed, and get out again before anyone was the wiser. Maybe cooler heads had prevailed. Twilight could have managed to convince the others not to do anything stupid, right? Applejack scrabbled mentally for comfort, but she knew there was none to be had.

A sharp gasp of shock was the first sign either zebra had that something was wrong. Applejack looked up from her inner turmoil just in time to see a dark pink mare jerk a little filly into a house and slam the door as quickly as possible. The unmistakable thud of a bolt being shot home jolted the door and the house went quiet. Farther down the street, somepony screamed a fading cry of, “The horror! The horror!”

More doors slammed. Applejack glanced at her fellow zebra for support. Zecora simply shrugged, but her face had taken on a curiously blank expression and her eyes glinted dangerously. Was this what the herbalist had to face every time she came to town..? What a stupid question. Of course it was. Applejack could clearly remember doing the exact same thing to the mare next to her only the day before.

The streets were completely empty now. Every window was shut and every door probably barred. Looking around the barren town, Applejack felt ill inside. How could the ponies just..? No. No time to worry about that now.

Gritting her teeth, Applejack trotted up to Daisy’s Herb Shop and pounded on the door with one dark hoof. “Aw, open up, Daisy! We ain’t here for scares! Ah’m here fer yer help an’ to sample yer wares!”

“She knows your name, Daisy! You’re doomed!” hissed one horrified voice behind the door.

A second voice shushed the first. “Shut up! They’ll hear us! They’ll hear us, and then they’ll curse us all!”

“The horror! THE HORROR!” groaned a third.

If Applejack’s expression had been any stormier, the local weather ponies might have confused her for a black- and white-striped thunderhead. She banged on the door again. “Horsefeathers, Daisy! Ah ain’t here fer you! Zecora and Ah just need help with a brew!”

The quiet whispers behind the door turned into a panicked babble. Rose reacted first. “Did you hear that?!”

“—Going to eat us in a stew!” Daisy’s voice exclaimed. “With my own herbs as sauce, I bet!”

“The horror! The ho—!” Lilly’s voice suddenly cut off as a hoof was crammed into her mouth.

“Shut up Lilly,” Rose hissed.

Applejack turned her back on the shop, seeing red. Well. There were plenty of other places to get the ingredients they needed. If Daisy didn’t want to do business with zebras, then—oh, who was she kidding. If the foalish mares weren’t going to help her because they were scared stupid, it was time to give them something to be really scared about.

Gathering her strength, the champion applebucker squared with the door and prepared to kick it down—only to feel a calming nudge at her shoulder. Zecora shook her head. “No, Applejack, that’s no way to befriend. I think that our shopping is now at an end.”

The foreign zebra might have been willing to roll over, but Applejack was made of sterner stuff. How could she just trot away? “Zecora, Ah’m tellin’ you, it ain’t right. Can’t be. Ya should not be alone, in the danged Everfr—!”

“NOW!” interrupted an enthusiastic Pinkie Pie. Applejack looked up as a net dropped from the sky, covering the arguing zebras in a thick jumble of rope mesh. Both went down in a tangle of striped limbs as several ponies rapidly added their weight to the edges of the net.

“Stop that, girls!” Applejack cried, struggling to her hooves with the net still clinging to her like kelp to an angry sea monster. “Ah don’t want ta fight, but Ah’ll buck all y’all back to last Thursday night!

“Oh! S-sorry, AJ…” Some of the weight of the net lifted as Fluttershy started to step off her edge.

Pinkie Pie rushed to bolster the yellow pegasus’ flagging confidence. “Wait, Fluttershy! It could be a trick! A zeeeebra trick!”

“Pinkie Pie! I thought we agreed to talk to them!” Twilight Sparkle galloped up to the pony-and-zebra-pile, her ears back and her tail lashing angrily.

The pink earth pony rolled her eyes. “Well, of course, Twilight! We’re talking to them now! What’s the problem, you silly filly?”

Groaning at the sheer… Pinkieness of that, Twilight shook her head to clear it. Her horn glowed and the net—and everypony standing on it—was lifted into the air. “Come on, Applejack. Come on, Zecora. I’m sorry about that…”

“I ask you, are all ponies touched in the head?!” Zecora grumbled as she tried to straighten her disheveled mane. “Changing greetings with beatings… It seems so widespread.”

“Sorry, Zecora, about mah dumb friends… But Ah know th’ attacks are at an end.” As Applejack said it, she glared silent death threats at the ponies clustered around. Even Rainbow Dash had the common decency to look sheepish.

Twilight cleared her throat. “Ahem… So, Applejack. Did Zecora find a way to help you?”

“She surely did, Twilight. We’re makin’ a brew, and then Applejack’s back to y’all good as new! Though Ah acted all surly and started a fight, Zecora’s still helpin’ me set mahself right. She’s no evil enchantress, she just studies cures, and she’s told me of one that’ll help me f’sure.”

Zecora smiled and nodded, patting the bulging herb bag. “With parsley, some cardamom, and root of beet, the list of ingredients will be complete...”

“But we ain’t gonna ever get this potion done—” Applejack started to say.

Pinkie burst in. “—So we’ll curse Ponyville, send it straight to the sun?”

“The horror! Doom! Doo—mph!” exclaimed a quickly hushed voice behind the barred door to Daisy’s shop.

Applejack glared at the earth pony and finished the couplet. “No, ‘cos none of the stores will stay open—not one. Honestly, Pinkie, enough is enough. Just shut it or Ah’m gonna have ta get rough.”

“So we can cure you if we help with the brew, and that will let us turn you back into y—Oh Celestia, if this keeps up I’m going to end up rhyming everything t—as well,” Twilight sighed.

The purple unicorn trotted up to the door to Daisy’s shop and gave the wood a quick rap. “Daisy! Daisy, it’s me, Twilight Sparkle. We need to talk…”

* * *

Applejack sighed and leaned back in the tub, sloshing the strange-smelling mixture onto the tiled floor in Twilight’s bathroom. She raised one hoof and stared up at it. Orange. When she was younger, the earth pony had sometime wished for a more traditional apple-like hue like Granny Smith or Big Macintosh… but now, her old familiar tint had never looked so good. She glanced over to the smiling Zecora and grinned right back as she climbed out of the water. “Though mah black-n’-white days are at an end, at least Ah—”

The farmer chuckled and grinned ruefully, drying out her mane. “That’s right, Ah don’t need to rhyme anymore, do Ah? Well then. Ah’m glad Ah met you, Zecora. It wasn’t too great bein’ made somethin’ other than what Ah was… but if that hadn’t happened Ah might not have found a new friend.”

“I thank you, kind mare, for your warm, friendly words. So long I’ve been lonely away from the herds,” Zecora sighed. “So though this adventure may be at an end, I’m well pleased to know that you call me a friend.”

“Ah know when we met Ah made a real mule outta mahself. If there’s anything Ah can do…” Applejack brightened as a thought occurred to her. “Hey wait, ya still needed to do some shoppin’, didn’t ya? Ah could help ya carry yer groceries home.”

Zecora shrugged. “Perhaps. But only if you’ve time to spare. The load will be light enough for one mare.”

“Of course Ah have time. And Ah want to keep an eye on some o’ th’ merchants around here… make sure they treat ya right like Twilight said. She’s a good mare, but some ponies only really get it when ya smack it into their head a few times with a good, hard hoof…” Applejack examined her orange hooves carefully, as if checking for any remaining black areas left from the Poison Joke.

“I see your taste for blood remains… Combat must flow in pony veins,” joked the herbalist as she trotted towards the door. “But tell me now, or I’ll leave alone, what thing you dropped inside my home? You’re eager to escort me back. Pray tell, why’s that, dear Applejack?”

Applejack quickly put her hoof back on the ground and tried to look contrite. “Am Ah that transparent..?”

Zecora simply gave her earth pony friend a look. Applejack sighed deeply. “Ah figured. All right. Part of the reason mah friends grabbed us was, Ah left my hat at yer house. That was th’ signal that you was bad and that they was to nab ya so we could force a cure out of ya… Ah didn’t realize until after Ah’d left it how wrong Ah was about ya. Ah’m sorry.”

“Oh, Applejack. It’s only that? Then come with me. We’ll get your hat.” Motioning the earth pony forward, Zecora left the library.

Silence stretched out between the two mares as they trotted briskly down the street. Applejack set her jaw. It was now or never. She had to ask. “Zecora? Ah know Ah was doin’ it too while Ah was a zebra… but why do y’all rhyme like that? It was intrestin’ enough, but Ah don’t think Ah could have stood it fer much longer ‘n Ah did…”

Zecora trotted on a few more steps, then smirked. A few more paces and the smirk became a wide grin. A few more, and she burst out laughing. “That’s too bad, Friend Applejack. You were doing so well at it, too…”

“What the-- That… That didn’t rhyme at all!” Applejack protested. She couldn’t have been more shocked if Zecora had suddenly grown fangs and giant bat wings. This didn’t make any sense!

Looking into Applejack’s eyes, Zecora reined in her mirth long enough to explain. “Applejack, the way you spoke was forced on you by Poison Joke. My speech I rhyme by conscious choice… to draw the focus to my voice.”

Zecora started to move forward again, heading for Daisy’s Herb Store. She reached the door and turned. Applejack was still standing in the middle of the street, staring after the zebra in befuddlement. Zecora sighed. Applejack was a nice pony, but she seemed a bit slow on the uptake sometimes. Perhaps further clarification was needed. “It’s not the colors that you see… It’s words and deeds that make me, me.”

The bell jangled as Zecora went inside the store. Applejack stood on the street for a few moments longer until—“The horror! The horror!”

…Perhaps Applejack should be there to help smooth the transition after all. Shaking off the last of her confusion, the earth pony trotted through the shop’s door after her new friend.