A Fir-ly Difficult Choice

by Mokoma

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Random, Main 6, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Trixie
Length: 1396

A rather ridicilous question ends up being a part light-hearted, part deep debate.

"I'd like to be a tree."

"Which one?"

"..."

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Contest entry for the Arboreal Yearnings contest!

Published 2023-04-21 15:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2023-04-21 15:00:00 UTC

A Fir-ly Difficult Choice

"Well, there's many trees to choose from..." Fluttershy put a hoof to her chin. "Personally, I'd love to be a Serviceberry tree, or a Pignut Hickory! Though, an Oak is also a good all-rounder!"

"Iiinteresting." Twilight, for whatever reason, wrote this all down. "Care to justify?"

"Well...They're all good for animals! Any tree that can grow food for them, or give them shelter - I'd like that!" The pegasus smiled cutes-ly. "If I can house several nests of birds, I think that would be the best thing for me as a tree! After all, I want to make sure that there is a purpose to this!"

"How...utaliranian!" Rarity coughed.

"Utilitarian." Twilight corrected with a bemused look.

"Well yes, that's what I said." The white unicorn blinked in confusion.

The blue pegasus was already giving a smug look to her orange earth-pony companion. "Gee, I sure wonder what our friend Applejack would say. Our Applejack who works on an Applefarm, and farms Apples every day - on the Sweet Apple Acres, making things such as Apple juice, Apple cider, Apple pi--"

"Bull oak." The orange pony flatly said. "AKA Allocasuarina luehmannii. Hardest-bark tree in Equestria."

"Huh!?" This immediately got the pegasus flapping her wings harder, irritating her. "Now hold on! First of all, what kinda answer is that? It's like you predicted this question, searched up "top 10 strongest trees", went for number one, recited that mumbo-jumbo name in-front of the mirror enough times to summon it, and now you're trying to play it like you're cool! Second of all, you're Applejack! On what planet would you not wanna be an apple tree!?"

The earth pony could only turn her head to Dash with half-lidded, tired eyes. "Sugarplum. Y'see what I do to 'em apple trees, right?"

"Well, yeah?"

"Right. How'd ya like if 'ah came up to you every harvest, and bucked you s' hard s' possible with 'mah earth pony strength?"

"I mean I'd be okay if it was you, but--"

Attempting to change the topic, Applejack coughed. "All I'm sayin' is, the life of an apple tree...Ain't pretty. Ain't all apple pie 'n' cider since...You're, y'know, the thing that, well - gives the apples-- ugh anyways! The point is, 'ah would wanna be a bull-oak 'cause I don't wanna be easy pickin's for amateur lumberjacks. And if a'hm doomed to become an Applejack table, well, at-least ah'd be a strong Applejack table."

The white unicorn could only giggle progressively more and more at the sight of the two. "Darlings, as cute as you both are arguing for doomed points...I'd say that you simply aren't thinking hard enough."

"M'kay." Applejack rose a brow. "Shoot, Rarity. And you can't say the Tree of Harmony, and you can't say "a tree made outta gems"."

Rarity rolled her eyes. "Well obviously - though that would indeed be a tempting idea. But no, I'll have you know my idea is genius."

"Which is?" Rainbow folded her hooves and exchanged a glance with Applejack, knowing this answer was going to be the signature Rarity answer they were all-too-familiar with.

"An evergreen, darling!" Rarity rose onto her hindlegs and grinned wide. This answer made Fluttershy smile in excitement and wonder, while Rainbow and AJ were caught back somewhat.

Fluttershy clapped her hooves together. "Oh! Because Evergreens are kind of like you? Able to stay beautiful and resilient in all sorts of situations, even the most bleak and coldest - most desolate ones?"

"Er..." Rarity blinked at Fluttershy. "...Mmmnnnooot quite dear. I was more so thinking that Evergreens are the only trees you put something on - for Hearthswarming! Some beautiful toys and ribbons, and a shining star at the top!"

AJ and Dash both snorted in laughter - it was a fluke after all.

"..." Twilight was afraid of what she was about to say next. "...So...What about you...Pinkie?"

With Pinkie Pie activating Pinkie Pie mode, the box of Pandora was opened, and the unleashed hounds of war cry havoc.

"Well apart from the hypothetical answers like cotton candy trees and artificial ones, if I gotta choose something real...I wanna go for something pink! So my verdict iiis...I'd wanna be a cherry blossom! I'd give cherries that can be used for cherry chimichangas, I'd look really pink and fluffy so you know this is a Pinkie Pie tree, and if I'm bored, I can see samurai and ronin dueling in-front of me for entertainment!"

"A samu-what?" Dash tilted her head.

Twilight sighed. "Pinkie, cherry blossoms are only pink for about two weeks a year. And the cherries they produce aren't exactly edible, at-least not in most conditions."

"...Aw." Pinkie frowned. "What a bummer..."

"Don't worry sugarplum, You could be a redbud!" Applejack grinned. "They ain't so big, but I've seen some before. Well 'ah guess it's more of a shrub, but...they stay pink for longer!"

"Well, oki-doki! That's a good compromise!" Pinkie giggled.

"Twilight?" Rarity turned to the alicorn. "What tree - I presume associated with wisdom, are you opting for?"

"Oooh that's a tough one..." Twilight exhaled, having to stand on her hindlegs just to put her hooves on her hips to show her perplexed conundrum. "I think I'd like to be a General Sherman tree!"

"A General Sherman tree?" Fluttershy asked to confirm. "It's one of the largest ones in the world, right?"

"Yep!"

"So why that one, darling?" Rarity tilted her head. To her surprise - Twilight suddenly looked a little crestfallen, looking at the floor and giving a big, long sigh.

"Well, they'd be big enough to fit an establishment inside. Like...a library..." Another sigh. "I miss Golden Oak library..."

"Rainbow!" Pinkie grinned, hoping to brighten up the mood. "So what kinda tree would you be?! It'd have to be some kinda weird mythical tree that can fly or something, right?"

"It'd better be!" Rainbow said - the conversation making her shudder as it went on. "The more I think about it, the more I'm hating it! Can you imagine being stuck as a tree? You'd be unable to move at all! Who'd even wanna discuss the probability of that!? I'm not gonna--"

"Just answer the question, Rainbow!" AJ barked out. "And no, mythical ones with wings ain't count!"

Groaning, Rainbow had to utilize the little botany she knew to avoid a lame answer. Finally, after some time of thinking, it came to her. "Okay! I'd wanna be...A mulberry tree."

"Intereeeesting..." Twilight scratched her chin. "Why?"

"I learned that tortoises like 'em. It gives them shade, and when the mulberries fall, it can give them lots of food. So at-least if I become a tree, at-least I can still keep taking care of Tank."

"..."

"So I see Pinkie's attempt to brighten up the mood was a flop." Rarity coughed softly to herself.

Still, there was one more pony to ask.

"...Soooo..." Twilight smiled cutely. "Trixie, that just leaves you! What tree would you wanna be?"

A delighted, sweet gasp came from the blue unicorn. "T-Twilight? You...want to know what tree I'd like to be?"

"Yep! I mean, it's only right to ask since everyone's had their turn!"

"Twilight..." Trixie smiled warmly, gazing deeply at the alicorn. "I'm...So touched that you'd ask! And, I really want to thank you for this. For considering my words. It really warms me, with all my heart, that you are here to share these moments with me. Thank you so much, Twilight. It means a lot." The blue unicorn sniffed sentimentally. "So, you'd like to know what tree I'd like to be, Twilight?"

"Uhuh!"

"Well, hm... Oh! How about...any tree that ISN'T THE ONE THAT I'M ABOUT TO TURN INTO!?" Shrieked the blue unicorn as she struggled once again against the roots and brambles that were wrapping around her body, slowly consuming her.

"I-I'm sorry! Right, on it! I-I'll find a counterspell!" Twilight yelped to run and retrieve a book that could give her some information to work with.

"I'll get Zecora!" Fluttershy cried out and flew off.

"Oh sweet Celestia!" Rarity cried out in panic. "N-Now I remember what prompted this peculiar question!"

"Starlight's gonna kill us..." Rainbow sighed, holding her face in her hooves.

"Well it ain't our fault she decided to mess with experimental spells!" Applejack muttered in frustration.

"At-least Mudbriar might find someone if he breaks up with Maud..." Pinkie said thoughtfully.