I Accidently Started A Sex Cult

by Dark Tail

Rating: mature
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Anthro, Princess Luna, Porn, Comedy, Princess Celestia, Sex
Length: 3892

Luna explains how she got a sex cult. Celestia might need some wine for this.

It was supposed to be a simple month of taking care of things while her sister was away. In that time though, Luna started a Sex Cult. She has some explaining to do.

(Featured on 4/7/23)

Published 2023-04-07 16:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2023-04-10 16:13:04 UTC

"I am just as surprised as you are."

Celestia slammed the door shut to her throne room with a huff. Magically moving mops continued to work across the marble floor as the princess of the sun turned and squelched across the gooey stained whitish red carpets that, at least when she left, where completely red. She smoothed out her large white and yellow flowing dress as the monarch approached her sister, still sitting in her chair.

"Alright Luna, the room is clear, I have taken my 5 minutes to calm down, please run me through how in the world things got so out of hand in just a month."

The princess of the moon shifted in her chair. She was currently wearing nothing but a loin cloth and a gold chain that barely covered her nipples. Aside from that, she was bare for all to see. Even had her long hair down.

"Um, I guess it started a little bit after you left." She said while putting a finger to her chin. "You know how I like to take long walks at night?"

"Yes... Oh don't tell me you went out naked again." The princess put her index finger and thumb over the bridge of her nose, rubbing it. "We've talked about that, at least wear a robe."

"Yeah well, it was just gonna be a quick walk through the gardens. I just love the breeze between the knees. I thought I was alone... Until some guards saw me. I sometimes forget how my body can effect others. They looked so pent up and well..."

Celestia sighed heavily. "Gave them all blow jobs for their trouble?"

"That I did. They looked so happy and relieved afterwards." She chuckled. "They told me I should go out naked more often."

"I am fairly certain they were joking, sister."

Luna crossed her legs. "Well joking or not, I sort of did the next night and even more guards saw me. One thing led to another and suddenly I was in the middle of a all hands on night guard gang bang."

"How?" Celestia stared, her expression going from surprise to confusion.

"1000 years sis. 1000 years in a freaking moon with no release." Luna said flatly. "My libido is bigger than the celestial bodies we move around."

Celestia shook her head. "Ok, fine... Just keep going. What happened next?"

Luna straightened up. "So after all that was said and done, I was soaked in cum. Like head to hoof, covered in it. I looked like a slimy alicorn ghost..." Luna seemed to trail off for a few seconds as her mind went back to that night. Celestia gestured for her to continue.

"Oh right, I needed a bath. So I went to bath house section of the castle and passed by a few more guards on the way. Did you know we have so many guards? I thought for sure they were from the same group that came on top of me but no, somehow they missed out. They offered to help scrub me. The captain of the guards herself, who somehow also missed the gang bang, promised to really scrub me down." She grinned as she leaned back and closed her eyes.

"Its funny, we went to bathe and I got even more dirty than before. Did you know the captain has some serious stamina? She outlasted everyone. That tongue is something else, you need to feel it to believe it." She paused for a second. "Don't worry, I did get cleaned up eventually."

Celestia debated grabbing some wine but decided against it. "I still don't see how you banging almost every guard in the castle led to what I saw happening on my way in here."

Luna opened her eyes and leaned forward, shifted a bit suddenly as if she forgot about something before bringing her full attention back to her sister. "Oh, like what?"

Celestia locked eyes with her. "Four orgies out in the streets, almost everyone naked or wearing BDSM gear, the ones that weren't naked were currently in process of getting there, at least three lewd statues of you all depicting you in some sort of sexual act, and a fountain of you with a large dong spraying a white thick substance from it into a large pool where several ponies were bathing in it. It smelled exactly how you think it would." Luna looked impressed.

"Last I looked, it was just one lewd statue... Did they really design me as futa? Very creative."

Celestia rolled her eyes and sighed. "In any case... I only saw adults though, thankfully."

"Yeah I shipped out all the young ones away to a private resort when I realized how quickly things were going off the rails."

Celestia grunted. "Well I appreciate the foresight on that one, if you would please get back to how this all started though..."

Luna clapped her hands together. "Oh right. So word got out that my sexual prowess was divine. Everyone in the castle picked up on that. Got so many requests over the course of the next few days and that rumor got... Mixed I think."

"Mixed?"

"Yeah, somehow it went from I got some serious stamina and I am fun to bang... To that idea that my cooch is literally divine."

"Oh no..."

"Oh yes, rumors started spreading that I could bless you by screwing you. Not only that, but that somehow I could extend your life and rejuvenate the body just by sticking your dick, moist dungeon, tongue, or whatever floats your boat, inside me."

"And you just went with that?!" Celestia cried out, causing Luna to lurch back in surprise, letting out a low moan.

She shook her head, trying to get back into a comfortable position, a weird squelching sound coming from the chair as she did so.

"Mmm... Nope. I actually tried to squash these rumors. I got Twilight involved to help prove that this wasn't the case."

"Oh, well good. I am sure she was able to come up something." She glanced back out a nearby window. "Which only makes me wonder where that went wrong."

"Yeah, see, Twilight tried to explain such at thing was impossible. Got a large group of ponies together in front of a large stage. She went into incredible detail about how crazy that rumor was. That no where in our history has my sexual juices shown to have any healing or rejuvenating properties. But it didn't seem to persuade anyone. When that didn't work, she tried to show everyone with an example..."

"She... She didn't..."

"Oh yes sister, she scissored me on stage in front of hundreds." Celestia face palmed as Luna continued. "Even used a potion to help give her some extra stamina. When she finally finished, she was covered in my fluids. After expressing the fact that she felt the best she ever had in years... Well... It certainly didn't help her case."

Celestia closed her eyes and held out her hand, a shiny bottle of wine appeared and floated in front of her. She took it and poured a glass that had also appeared in a small shower of yellow sparks. She sighed and took a sip, setting the bottle down nearby. Her eyes flickered a few times as she did her best to compose herself. "Ok... Then what happened?"

"I thought perhaps an honest apple might finally get through to them. So I called Applejack and Rainbow Dash."

"Rainbow Dash?"

"Those two are dating so I felt it would be rude to exclude her."

"I see."

Luna shifted again, sighing a bit as the strange squelching sounded echoed in the room once again.

"So then I got them both on stage after filling them on what was going on. Applejack then proceeded to prove without a shadow of a doubt how false those claims were."

"You banged her too didn't you."

"Yep. And her girlfriend."

"Of course you did."

Luna rolled her eyes. "Now to be fair, it was Applejack's idea. After all, how often do you get to screw a princess? Or at least, that is how she put it. And how else was she going to help provide proof. It just so happened that she began to believe the same thing after mentioning all her stress seemed to go away just like that." She sighed, leaning back a bit. "Those thighs were something else. Like the pony they are attached to, they do not lie. And the way Rainbow gives those cute moans, its intoxicating."

She stretched out a bit. "So that was a wash. Applejack and Rainbow Dash became believers after that. I tried to tell them it was just really good sex but they were far to wrapped up in their afterglow to listen to me."

Luna grinned at let out another low coo.

Celestia took a big swig of her wine before snapping her fingers. "Stay focused, what happened next."

"Yeah, so then I tried to see if Rarity could help. But it seems she was well wrapped up in the gossip by that point and was a firm devotee by the time she got here." Luna ran her hands over her loin cloth. "She designed this by the way. Even enchanted the chains to cover my nipples no matter how much I move, just to give you that little peak at my glory but not giving away everything." Luna proceeded to grip and shake her C cup breasts a bit. The chain seemed to move but never allowing for her nipples to come into view.

"And check this out." She gripped the bottom of her loin cloth and turned it around. "A little pocket to put stuff in. I don't know what I am going to put in there as anything too heavy could just pull it down but... What a cool feature! The fabric and ties are super comfy too, these look like brown ropes but are actually made of cloth and don't chaff at all."

Celestia finished her drink and quickly refilled it. "Luna, stay focused now, please. I need you take this seriously!"

Luna sighed. "Fine, one second." She reached beneath her loin cloth, sighing as she gripped something beneath it. Slowly, inch by inch she pulled out a surprisingly large dildo. Juices spilled from her seat as she let out a low hard moan. As the rest of it came into view, slowly exiting with a small sloshing sound, Celestia blinked back in surprise.

"Has that been inside you this whole time?"

Luna rubbed her soaked slit and nodded. "Yep, a gift from Pinkie Pie. A "Welcome New Sexy Cult Overlord" present as she put it. She then proceeded to show me just how good it was."

"You had sex with her too?"

"Actually for quite some time now, she likes to slip past the guards and sneak into my room for a fun evening. That pony is flexible, very flexible."

"Please tell me there is some pony you haven't banged yet!"

Luna leaned back and thought for a moment. "Well I haven't had sex with Starlight or Fluttershy yet."

"Oh thank the heavens, someponies who are still sensible."

"Their currently leading the Ponyville branch of my Sex Cult."

"Oh for love of..."

Celestia grabbed the bottle and took a large swig. "So if everyone thinks having sex with you is divinity, why are they screwing each other?"

The princess of the moon crossed her arms and tilted her head slightly. "Rumor started to spread that somehow my divinity could be passed on. That by having sex with me, they in turn to could help pass it around but only to a certain degree. That is why eventually the come back to get recharged on my divine sex juice."

"You can't be serious."

"You know very well how crazy these ponies can get with their superstition."

"I hate how true that statement is."

Celestia took another long sip. "How far reaching is this?!"

Luna shrugged her shoulders. "Last I heard, there were followers coming from as far as the Badlands."

"DRAGONS?!" Celestia nearly spit out her wine.

Luna raised up her hands, holding them out wide. "Have you seen their dicks?! Who wouldn't want to take a ride on that!"

"How many..." She took another large gulp of wine.

"Dragons? I think I am up to twelve. 13 if you count Dragon Lord Ember with a strap on."

"No... Many times have I told you to get your libido in check?"

Luna slowly stood up, wiping some liquids off the seat as she did so. "Um... I sort of lost count."

Celestia pointed out the window. There was currently a large orgy of several different species all chanting Luna's name. "I leave you alone, for one measly month, and everything has gone tits up."

Luna scratched the back of her head. "I'm getting banished back to the moon again, aren't I?"

Celestia finished her bottle of wine. She shook her head. "And leave me to pick up the mess? Oh no. We are past that anyways. Instead, I am going to let you lay in the bed you made. Have fun trying to fix this on your own."

Luna looked back at her sister confused. "Alone... But what where are you going?"

Celestia slowly grinned. "Outside, I need an extended vacation and I saw a few good looking creatures to help scratch this itch of mine." She slowly walked back towards the door, slipping out of her dress as she did so.

"Have fun sister. I look forward to seeing how this all turns out for you."

Luna felt her jaw hit the floor as Celestia walked out the throne room butt naked. The realization hitting her like a ton of bricks. "Oh dear... Hmm... I was kind of banking on sister's help with this one."

She glanced outside and then around the cum covered room. "Welp, I guess its time to see if Twilight knows any good time travel spells."

Author's Note

This was a weird but fun idea I had. Let me know what you all thought down in the comments. Might do a bonus chapter if there is enough interest.

Bonus Chapter "Problem Solved?"

Luna helped the dazed and exhausted Twilight into her bed chambers. The cum covered Alicorn had been found mere moments ago in the hallway, Dragons having just finished a very good time. While Luna appreciated their tenacity, their manners left a lot to be desired. The poor pony looked practically passed out on the floor, a silly grin on her face.

As the monarch carefully placed the well spent friendship princess onto her bed, carefully closing the door, did she finally let out a low sigh. "Shoot, this day just keeps getting crazier. First Celestia goes off to join the orgy outside, then I find out I've got even more creatures on the way here to take part in this new sexual revolution, I need to figure out what to do with this crazy new cult of mine, and now the one pony I need help from is currently in a sex induced coma."

"So... Much... Cum..." Twilight muttered in her mostly unconscious state.

Luna glanced down at her hands, finding that sure enough they were very much coated in the Dragon's sticky white residue. She walked over to her bathroom, a fairly decent sized room that housed a large tub, toilet, and cabinet on the wall.

"I swear, I don't know how Cadence deals with this kind of stuff. That sexual craved pony could lead an official orgy like its nothing and have everything cleaned up by the next day."

The moon princess glanced out her nearby window, seeing some pegasi enjoying the mile high club on some nearby clouds. She grumbled, grabbing a towel to wipe the warm stuff off her hands. The sounds of them chanting her name and the chorus of moans filled the air. Luna shut the curtain in annoyance. Opening a nearby cabinet revealed a bunch of various potions. She grabbed a red one and closed it before walking back over to Twilight.

Bending over her, the bottle was uncorked and a few drops were slipped into the Alicorn's slightly open mouth. Upon watching her swallow it, she crossed her arms, magically levitated the bottle to the nearby nightstand and waited a few seconds.

Suddenly Twilight shot up, eyes wide, wings out stretched. "SWEET MOTHER BUCKING CELESTIA SUN BUTT ON A SUNDAY!"

Now breathing heavily she glanced over at Luna. "The heck did you just put in my mouth? Applejack's legs have less of a kick than that!"

"A little wake up potion. I usually mix it with coffee but it works on its own just fine."

Twilight shook her head. She tucked back in her wings, took a deep breath and let it out very slowly. "Ok... So... I am guessing you need something from me, otherwise you would have just waited until I woke up naturally." There was a bit of annoyance in her voice.

Luna quickly nodded. Ignoring the annoyed look Twilight gave as she gestured around her. "Yeah, I think we can both agree, things are getting out of hand here, fast."

Both turned to glance out the nearby window, just past the balcony, the sounds of wild sex and debauchery could be heard from Canterlot below. Twilight sighed, her expression changing to a slightly more understanding look and turned back to the new sex cult princess.

"Can't argue with that, I've had more sex this month than I ever had in my life. Still can't believe they think all this bodily liquid swapping is going to make them blessed with holy energy. Has Starlight even realized yet that you have just been delivering jars of spring water labeled Luna's Holy Sex Juice to Ponyville? I swear every pony in this town is crazy."

Luna walked forward and grasped her hands on Twilight's bare shoulders. "Which is why I need your help, do you happen to know any good time travel spells?"

Twilight raised her eye brow. "You aren't seriously considering going back in time a month to tell yourself to not take enthusiastic naked walks in garden at night."

"That is exactly what I plan to do."

"Well I hate to break it to you but, that won't work."

Luna tilted her head. "Why not?"

The sticky sweet princess sighed. "Because, if you go back in time to tell yourself not to do something, what happens to the you that went back to tell yourself something if you in fact listened to them? You could create a time paradox. Best case, the you that went back in time vanishes from time. Worst case, the universe destroys itself. Or nothing changes because multiverse theory. That's a whole other can of worms though."

Twilight glanced around the room. "Take it from me. Time travel is never worth it in the end. Either you make an infinite loop of warning yourself not to do something, only to make that thing happen, or you create a time loop and... Well that didn't work." Her eye twitched a bit as if remembering a both wonderful and dark moment within her past.

Luna let go of Twilight and began to pace around the room. "So what in the world am I supposed to do then? I already tried telling everyone this was all just crazy talk and now I have large influxes of several creatures all making their way here. Soon there won't be enough room in Canterlot. We are on the precipice of chaos. So much so, I am convinced the only reason Discord isn't here right now with a bucket of popcorn, is because he is currently keeping Fluttershy in check. We both know you need to watch out for the quiet ones."

"Yeah she's a freak in bed."

Luna glanced back and opened her mouth, only to close it and shake her head. "I am just not sure where to go from here."

"Well, we are certainly going to have to move all of them somewhere eventually. Canterlot can only hold so much. All this crazy sex cult stuff is only going to go up in scale. Soon the lack of resources could escalate into some very unhappy creatures. We very well could have a disaster on our hands. I wish we knew some place to take them all to. It would have to be a large place with plenty of magical resources."

Luna stopped and stared at Twilight. "Like a large continent, tied to a decent railway system, with a monarchy that has plenty of room for expansion?"

The cum covered Alicorn stared back in confusion. The scantly dressed princess began to grin. "With a princess who knows a thing or two about love and lust."

The purple princes went wide eyed. "Oh, no. You aren't serious considering dumping all of this on..." Twilight bit her tongue. They couldn't. But it was looking like the better option in the short fall. Surely she wouldn't mind. If anything, this could only be to her benefit.

"She could reign them in. I have confidence in her abilities."

Twilight stood up. "But how are you going to convince them to even go up north?"

Luna continued to smile as she made a piece of paper and quill appear in mid air. She quickly took the quill and jotted down a quick letter. Rolling it up, she hovered it over to Twilight. "Find Spike and get this delivered to Princess Cadence asap. I have a plan."

Twilight reached out to take it. "I shall get right on it." Only to watch a large drop of cum slide off her fingers. She gave a small chuckle. "Maybe a should take a small bath first..."

***

The sound of a train whistle filled the air as the large train sat idly by. Several creatures loaded themselves on, each in different states of undress. Luna and Twilight stood nearby, Twilight now looking cleaner but wearing a similar looking outfit to Luna.

"Can't believe I am now a prophet of a sex cult." Twilight muttered.

Luna turned to Twilight. "It was the only way we were going to be able to convince them. I needed a strong voice and who better than the Princess of Friends With Benefits."

Twilight winced a bit. "I am still the Princess of Friendship. Its just a new title, that's all."

"Sure it is, good luck telling everyone else that."

Pinkie suddenly shot past them, pumping the air with her fist. No one seeming to care about her naked body. "Yes, Love Goddess of Sex, here I come. I can't believe we did not realize it sooner, of course if Luna has divine sex powers, than Cadence must be even better!" Several shouts rung out, cheering along with her.

Twilight leaned closer to Luna. "You sure this is alright?"

Luna grinned. "Considering how quickly she got back to me on this, I think we can both agree, this is going to be a dream cum true for her."

Author's Note

A silly little extended ending. Problem solved, right? :ajsmug:

Hope you all enjoyed. Let me know your thoughts down in the comments.