Turns Your Foreign Relations Personal
Author's Note
This ficlet was written as part of the Omega tier reward in my Ko-fi where I write stories based on prompts from supporters! They're usually about 1k but sometimes you get a 9k story because I cannot stop myself lmao
Additionally, if you’d like to read updates of ongoing stories faster, as well as read my original stories and MLP stuff I don't plan on posting here, feel free to visit me at my personal website!
Turns Your Foreign Relations Personal
Today happened to be a very important day for Princess Rarity of Equestria. Lady Cadance, the young pegasi ruler of the Crystal Empire, was visiting the castle for the first time that day, which Twilight knew was significant to Rarity for one reason and one reason only:
Lady Cadance was very beautiful, and Rarity very clearly wanted to fawn all over her.
“Do you think she’ll like me?” Princess Rarity asked dreamily for the tenth time that hour, lying on her bed and admiring an illustration of the Crystal Empress.
Standing by the window, Twilight had the urge to reply ‘no’ just to shake things up a little bit after being asked that question so many times. But instead, she settled on not replying at all and picked up the book she read during her breaks and moments of privacy with Rarity.
“You know she’s single?” Rarity continued, putting the illustration away and looking at Twilight. “Father told me just the other day that Lord HuffinPuff—you know, the renowned violinist—asked for her hoof in marriage. And she said no to him! No!”
Twilight frowned. “Well, of course. Wasn’t he acting like a jerk at that party his majesty threw last month? You literally told me yourself that night that Lord HuffinPuff was a…” She paused. “How did you put it? A… ‘vain drunken buffoon whose violin should be shoved inside his’—”
“First of all!” Rarity interrupted, cheeks red. “I didn’t say shove! I said ‘get intimately acquainted with’ and the next part I said only because I was drunk. Regardless!“ She cleared her throat. “She also rejected Lord Midclaire’s proposal! The Lord Midclaire, Twilight!”
“...Didn’t his wife leave him for being a cheater?”
Rarity tutted her. “Twilight Sparkle, that’s speculation, and you know it. Nothing’s been proven.”
“The three hours you made me listen to your evidence otherwise were very compelling, your highness.”
“That’s because they are!” Rarity exclaimed. “Like how Lady Midclaire told me she wouldn’t be attending the Trottingham Gala because he was doing business in Saddle Arabia, and she didn’t want to be alone, and yet—!” She stood up on her bed. “Who did you and I see leaving the Trottingham Gala with notorious flirt Miss Rosewood?” She stamped her hoof on the mattress. “Mister Lord Midclaire!”
“So,” Twilight said, moving things along even though she was endeared by the princess’ impassioned speculation, “going back to Lady Cadance?”
The Princess blinked. “Mm? Oh!” She tumbled back down on the bed as if she just hadn’t been ready to take Lord Midclaire to social court. “As I was saying, father told me that she’s had many important ponies vying for her, and she’s said no to all of them! Even the decent ones, which are few!”
Twilight hummed. “Well, rulers can’t just marry whoever they want,” she replied matter-of-factly. “We both know that.”
“Well, they should!” the princess replied with a huff. “As you very well know, when I’m in charge, I’ll marry whoever I want, and that’s that. Politics be damned!”
Twilight laughed, looking up from her book and at her princess. “I see. So I guess you’ll marry Lady Cadance, considering you can’t stop talking about how pretty she is?”
Rarity rolled her eyes. “Oh, don’t be jealous, Twilight.” She fluttered her eyelashes. “There’s no rule saying I can’t have two wives.”
Twilight went back to her book. “If you say so, Rarity.”
Rarity admired the illustration again, humming thoughtfully before asking: “Do you think she’d say yes if I asked her?”
Twilight only just glanced up from her book, momentarily debating if she should indulge the princess’s reveries before caving and asking, “Yes? Yes to what?”
“To marry me!” She slammed her hoof on the bed. “Stop laughing!”
“I’m not laughing,” Twilight Sparkle laughed.
“It could happen!” the princess insisted. She rolled onto her back and gestured towards the ceiling. “I can see it now! She’ll walk into the throne room, say hello to father and mother, and then, when she looks at me, she’ll ask for my hoof in marriage!”
“I thought you were asking her?”
“I changed my mind.” The Princess rolled onto her stomach and pressed her chin on her hooves. “Obviously, she’ll be compelled to propose the second she sees me.”
Twilight giggled. “Obviously.”
“And then!” Rarity exclaimed, rolling back onto her back and gesticulating to the ceiling again. “After I gasp in surprise—” Rarity gasped in surprise. “--You’ll jump in and demand to duel for my hoof!”
Twilight went back to her book. “And then I get thrown into the dungeon for threatening a visiting sovereign ruler, followed by a trial and then execution,” she replied, completely deadpan.
Rarity sighed. Heavily. “Twilight.” She rolled back onto her stomach. “Darling. Dearest. Because I’m lovely and wonderful, I shall allow you to fix your statement.”
Twilight smiled. “So gracious of you, your highness.”
Rarity grinned. “Aren’t I just. Now!” She gestured with her hoof. “Go on, go on! You’ll jump in, demand to duel her to the death—”
“Oh, so it’s to the death now?”
“—In exchange for my love eternal, and then…” She gestured her on. “And then…”
“And then I’ll impale Lady Cadance with my sword!” Twilight exclaimed, brandishing her book as a sword while Rarity giggled. “And after she’s dead, the Goddesses will be so impressed that they’ll grant me wings, and I’ll fly away with you!” That said, she looked at Rarity with an amused expression, putting her book down on a nearby table. “There. Fixed.”
“Will they give me wings, too?” asked the Princess, fluttering her eyes.
Twilight shrugged. “Sure.”
Rarity rolled onto her back once more, absolutely delighted. “Imagine that,” she repeated, sighing dreamily. “Alicorn Princesses Rarity and Twilight.”
“You know,” Twilight said, making her way over to the Princess and peering down at her, blocking Rarity’s view of the ceiling. “You seem very confident about the lengths I’d go to marry you.”
Rarity hummed, idly lifting her hoof to trace the contours of Twilight’s face. “But, of course! I already know you’d kill for me so, really, it’s the next logical step.”
Twilight frowned. “What? I’ve never killed anypony!”
“Oh?” Rarity tilted her head. “I beg to differ. You certainly slayed me with those radiant violet eyes of yours,” she said, tapping Twilight’s nose right before the flustered guard walked away, embarrassed. Rarity immediately rolled onto her stomach, innocently putting her chin on her hooves. “Twiiiiliiiiight, darling, whatever’s the matter?”
“Nothing, Your Highness,” Twilight replied, wishing she could force her blush away. She resolved instead to stare at her reflection in the window, which unfortunately meant she could see a delighted Rarity still watching her from the bed.
“But, Twiiiiiliiii—”
Knock, knock, knock!
“Your highness?” came a maid’s voice from behind the door. “Lady Cadance should be arriving in around an hour! Your father asked me to remind you to be ready for the event.”
Twilight’s ears flattened against her head at Rarity’s delighted screeching.
“Twilight, hurry, we need to be ready!” the princess exclaimed, Twilight playfully rolling her eyes as the princess practically tripped over herself rushing to her walk-in closet.
Twilight looked herself over briefly, content with how she looked. Not that she even had to look any certain way as a royal guard, but her armor was polished, her short mane was brushed, and she looked fine.
Instead, she walked over to the bed and picked up the illustration of Cadance, giving it a more thorough look. Though she could objectively say the smiling pegasus princess was certainly beautiful, Twilight didn’t find herself even remotely as infatuated as Princess Rarity was.
“Twiliiiight?” came the princess’ voice from within the closet.
“Yes?” Twilight called back, still examining the illustration.
Rarity’s face poked out from the closet. “I have an idea.”
Twilight didn’t bother looking up. “I’m not wearing a dress for the event. End of discussion.”
“But, Twiiiiiliiiiight!”
In honor of the occasion, the castle’s grand dining hall had transformed into a gathering area, and the dining tables moved out and replaced with smaller ones holding a veritable assortment of hors d’oeuvres and drinks.
Most of the castle city’s nobility was there, not a single one wanting to miss the chance to mingle with Lady Cadance—which, in Twilight’s opinion, was a great turn of events. The attention being on somepony else meant that it wasn’t on Princess Rarity, which meant Twilight didn’t have to sit there and endure the droning of pompous, rich idiots.
“Do you think she’ll be here soon?” asked Fluttershy, dressed in a simple but elegant green dress and huddled next to Rarity by the dessert table, Twilight stationed a few feet away.
“Stars, I hope so. The anticipation is killing me,” Princess Rarity replied, nervously smoothing out her dress—a blue silk dress she’d made for the occasion. She then glanced back towards Twilight and giggled. “Now, darling, frowning doesn’t go with your ensemble.”
Personally, Twilight didn’t care about that, being perfectly content in frowning her face off while standing in a nice, sure, but exposed navy dress the princess had convinced her to use. At least she still had her chain mail on and only agreed to be in a dress for an hour or so.
“You do look very lovely, Twilight,” Fluttershy said.
“Thank you, Lady Fluttershy,” Twilight replied, softening at that - that and the fact that Rarity was admiring her with an utterly smitten expression. “Enjoying yourself, your highness?” she asked, raising her eyebrow. “Happy you dragged me here to be eye candy instead of security?”
“Oh, absolutely.”
A sudden commotion distracted them, drawing their attention to the ballroom’s opening doors to the sound of loud chatter and the arrival of an entire entourage.
“Oh, oh, she’s here, she’s here!” Rarity gasped excitedly, tugging on Fluttershy’s dress.
Accompanied by her own, Lady Cadance looked just as stunning as Princess Rarity had built her up to be. Taller than most ponies, she looked grand and regal, and the gentle smile on her face seemed more genuine than the ones Twilight often saw on royalty.
Unfortunately, her examinations of the princess ended abruptly when literally almost every noble in the room rushed to her, blocking Twilight’s view. She rolled her eyes at the sight of them and the predictable fact that none of them were decent enough to give her space.
This was shortly followed by the sudden fear Rarity was among said nobles, only for said fear to be quelled when Rarity was, in fact, still standing there, looking calm and composed.
“What is it?” Rarity asked, feeling Twilight’s surprised stare on her.
“Nothing,” Twilight replied, clearing her throat. “I just… Thought you’d— Well—” She gestured to the mob. “That.”
Rarity scoffed, indignant. “Pardon me?! What do I look like to you, Twilight? Desperate?! I am the princess! I do not go to others to greet them; they come here to greet moi.”
Twilight shook her head. “Of course, your highness. How could I think otherwise?”
“How could you?” the princess replied before pausing and adding, “Though, if you must know, I also don’t care much for having all these ponies listening in on my conversation with Lady Cadance.”
Twilight gave her a teasing look. “Can’t have them ruining Lady Cadance’s candid love confession, huh?”
“Precisely!”
“Uhm… Lady Cadance’s what?” Fluttershy asked, her confusion doubling when her two friends simply giggled.
~ ~ ~
A little over fifteen minutes later, Lady Cadance finally made her way toward the three mares. The crowd surrounding her seemed intent on staying but were quickly dissuaded by the several guards the princess had conscripted to ensure she and Lady Cadance had privacy.
“Quick, girls, act casual!” Princess Rarity demanded as Lady Cadance walked towards them, accompanied by her personal guard—a black pegasus stallion with a flash of blue hair.
Casual, as it turned out, meant different things for the three mares. Lady Fluttershy ‘eep’d and stared nervously at the floor; Princess Rarity pretended to be fascinated by her hoof while turning her head to the side to make sure she was displaying her best angle; and Twilight, arguably the only one who was truly acting casual simply because she didn’t have time for shenanigans, merely looked at Lady Cadance with a curious and respectful expression.
“Princess Rarity!”
“Mmmm?” Rarity said, doing a poor job of pretending she hadn’t heard her before turning around and delicately gasping at the sight of Cadance, pressing one hoof against her chest. Twilight admired her gall. “Why, Lady Cadance! Finally, we meet!”
Lady Cadance laughed good-naturedly. “Finally, indeed! And please, call me Cadance, your highness.”
Rarity giggled so much like a lovestruck filly, Twilight felt torn between feeling jealousy towards Cadance or severe second-hoof embarrassment at Rarity.
“If you insist, Ca-dance,” said Rarity. “And I insist you call me Rarity, then.”
“Rarity it is,” replied Cadance.
“It’s nice to meet you, too,” Rarity said next, addressing Cadance’s bodyguard. “What’s your name?”
“Uhhhh!” said the bodyguard, and in his expression, Twilight recognized the familiar surprise from when a noblepony acknowledged their existence. He composed himself and bowed. “Steelwing, your highness.”
Princess Rarity nodded respectfully, which amused Twilight. She was endeared by the fact that the princess made a point of treating guards and other staff with the decency they deserved, but was also very amused that the princess apparently didn’t care or hadn’t thought to introduce Lady Fluttershy at all.
“I must confess,” Cadance said, resuming the previous conversation, “I was hoping to meet you earlier when your father and mother greeted me. I thought you’d be there.”
Rarity smiled apologetically. “Oh yes, I’m so sorry about that. I was terribly busy with some important affairs father tasked me with while he mingles, as always.” She rolled her eyes theatrically and laughed. “Honestly, sometimes I feel like I practically run the kingdom!”
Lady Cadance also laughed at that, which was great because she distracted Princess Rarity from Twilight’s absolutely incredulous stare. How could she not, really? What a shock to learn that insisting on deciding what hors d’oeuvres should be served was so important. Wow! Truly!
“I can relate to that,” Lady Cadance confided. “I wasn’t too surprised when my mother announced her retirement as regent. I was practically ruling myself already.” But then, she noticed Fluttershy, still intently looking at the floor. “Oh, hello! I’m so sorry, how rude of me!”
“No, no!” Rarity interrupted at once, aghast. “I should have introduced you, dearest Cadance.” She cleared her throat and gestured to Fluttershy, the poor pegasus yelping to attention. “This is Duchess Fluttershy.”
“Hello, your highness,” Fluttershy stammered, bowing her head. “It’s nice to meet you.”
Cadance equally bowed her head. “The pleasure is all mine, Lady Fluttershy.”
“And this,” Rarity continued, gesturing to Twilight, “is Twilight Sparkle.”
Though Cadance turned to Twilight with the same measured politeness as she had Fluttershy, her expression changed when her eyes settled on the unicorn. She blinked once, twice, and then her smile turned demure.
“...Hello.”
Twilight bowed her head respectfully. “Your highness.” When she looked up again, she found Lady Cadance still staring at her, which was a little strange but alright. She cleared her throat. “Ah. Er. Enjoying the party?”
“Oh, yes,” Lady Cadance replied at length, her wings adjusting themselves at her sides as she fixed her attention on all of Twilight. “And yourself?”
“Er… It’s alright,” Twilight replied, caught off guard. She couldn’t believe she was about to think it, but she honestly kind of preferred it when nobles didn’t deign themselves on trying to make her social. Goddesses, she missed her armor.
“Oh, good.” Cadance tore her eyes away from Twilight and looked at Rarity and Fluttershy, the former suddenly sporting a tight smile. “How about yourself, Rarity?”
“I’m having a fine time,” Rarity replied politely. She cleared her throat, and when her smile returned, it seemed more genuine than before. “So, moving on! Tell me, Cadance, is there anything you’re interested in doing during your visit?” She reached out and placed a hoof on Lady Cadance’s shoulder, combining it with a winning grin. “I’d love to come with you if you do!”
Cadance hummed thoughtfully, not particularly moved by Rarity’s physical gesture one way or another. “Mmmm. I want to visit the Trottingham Grand Library if I have time.”
“Oh, you should!” Twilight exclaimed, unable to help herself, her sudden exclamation surprising Rarity into retrieving her hoof. “They’ve recently built an entire wing to fit copies of Arimaspi and Capran literature to help foster better relations with them. I believe it might be useful since you’re visiting Capra after Equestria?”
“Why, yes, I am, as a matter of fact,” Lady Cadance said, an amused smile blooming on her lips. “How did you know that? Only my entourage does.”
“How did you know that?” Rarity asked, just as surprised.
“I like to be well-informed,” Twilight replied, allowing herself a hint of a smirk.
“Should I be worried about my nation’s security, then, Lady Sparkle?” Cadance asked, coy at first and then delighted when Twilight laughed.
“No,” she replied. “I just know enough about the Capran kingdom to know they’d be very offended you visited Equestria but not them, too. They expected the same when our king visited the Assinians a few years back.”
Lady Cadance sighed. “Oh! Yes, that’s true. I wish you were wrong, though! They’re not the most… pleasant of governments, are they?” She then smiled broadly at Twilight, clearly charmed. “Still, I’m very impressed by you, Lady Sparkle!”
Twilight bowed her head, admittedly quite pleased. “Thank you,” she said graciously. “In any case, I hope you enjoy the library when you go. It’s one of my favorite places in the kingdom.”
“Is that so? Well, maybe you can join me in going?” Cadance promptly asked with a very forward smile and then added as if an afterthought, “alongside Princess Rarity, too, of course.” She turned to Princess Rarity, whose smile was now very thin. “What do you think, Princess?”
“I don’t see why not,” she replied very politely, which Twilight thought was a strange answer—as if the princess even had a choice on Twilight going wherever she went— but alright. She then licked her lips and loudly and suddenly declared, “My, I’m rather parched, suddenly! I’m going to get a drink. Over there.”
“Oh no, let me, Rarity,” Cadance said and then added with a wink, “I still have to go greet a few ponies, and having to bring back a drink for you is the perfect excuse to keep it short. What would you like?”
“I’ll have some of the wine punch, thank you,” Rarity replied, and nothing more.
“And you, Lady Fluttershy?”
“Oh, water is fine, thank you.”
And finally, Cadance turned to Twilight. “And you, Twilight? What can I bring you?”
“I don’t need a drink, milady,” she replied, bowing her head. “But thank you.”
“Are you sure?” Cadance teased playfully. “Might make the party go from alright to more than right!”
“I’m sure, your highness.”
“...Well, alright then!” Lady Cadance replied with a giggle. “Hope you won’t be thirsty later!”
Twilight watched Lady Cadance and her guard set off towards the drink table, only to turn around and find Rarity scowling at her.
“Twilight Sparkle!” the princess whispered, agitated.
“What?!” Twilight asked. “You know I don’t drink on the job!”
“Not that, Twilight!” She gestured towards Lady Cadance, surrounded by nobles. “She was flirting with you, Twilight! Flirting!”
“What? No? Now look who’s being jealous,” Twilight said with a snort. “She was just being nice.”
Rarity stared at her, incredulous. “Twilight. Twilight. She called you Lady Sparkle.”
“That’s not flirting! That’s just an assumption! I don’t have my armor, so of course she’d think I’m one of you!” She looked at Fluttershy for backup on the matter. “Right?”
“I think that makes sense,” she said, only for Twilight’s victorious ‘see?’ expression to die when she added, “but she was also definitely flirting with you.”
“What?! No, she wasn’t!” Twilight insisted, looking back and forth between the two mares before looking to Cadance in the distance, frantically going over their interaction in her mind.
To be painfully fair, it had taken her a very long time to realize in the past the time Rarity had been flirting with her, too, so… maybe…?
“I can’t believe this!” Rarity kept ranting on. “Not only is she flirting with Twilight, but she also very plainly ignored me!” Her face twisted into a distraught pout. “I can’t believe it.”
“Oh, Rarity, I’m sure she thinks you’re pretty,” Fluttershy said, patting her friend on the back.
“Don’t give me your pity, Fluttershy. It’s too late,” replied the princess, somber. “I’ve been relegated to the same pool as HuffinPuff and Lord Cheats-On-His-Wife. Do you realize how upsetting that is?”
“Why are you upset? I’m the one who should be upset!” Twilight pointed out. “I don’t want her to be interested in me!”
Rarity suddenly looked like she’d been slapped, gasping and slamming her hoof against Fluttershy’s chest. “What?!” she whispered, outraged, fixing Twilight with an appalled stare. “What do you mean ‘you don’t want her to be interested in you’? Have you seen her? She’s gorgeous! Please tell me you’re not serious!”
Twilight couldn’t believe she was having this conversation.
“I—? Yes, I am?” she repeated, bewildered to see that her saying she wasn’t interested in another mare’s advances was somehow upsetting her not-official-but-basically-secretly-official-significant other.
“My stars,” Rarity whispered, haunted. “Have you no taste?”
Twilight was quiet for a moment. She then spoke: “Considering our relationship, are you sure you want me to answer that?”
Rarity narrowed her eyes thoughtfully. “Mmm. Good point.” She looked away, and the pout returned. “Well, still! This is all awful!”
“See?” Twilight said, gesturing to the dress she was wearing. “If you’d just let me wear my armor, this would have never been an issue!”
“Yes, it would have!” Rarity shot back, annoyed. “You’re very charming, Twilight! You’d have seduced her with or without your ugly helmet!” She frowned, looking off. “I should have seen this coming! Ugh!”
Twilight didn’t exactly know how to reply to that, mostly because she was a little embarrassed by the compliment. But also because the mention of her helmet reminded her how much she wanted to be out of the dress.
“Well, regardless,” Twilight said, “you don’t have to worry anymore because I can’t stand this dress anymore, and it's already been an hour, so I’m going to change. And no!” she exclaimed just as Rarity opened her mouth. “Don’t even think of complaining! I’m doing it.”
“...Excuse you, I wasn’t going to complain,” Rarity said curtly, looking away. “Just so you know.”
Twilight gave her a Look. “Mmmhm.” She then glanced at Fluttershy and bowed her head. “I’ll be right back, milady. Make sure the princess stays right here, please.”
“Where would I even go?” Rarity huffed.
Fluttershy spoke innocently: “To your room to cry over Lady Cadance not falling for you?”
Twilight tried her hardest not to laugh as she trotted off.
~~~
Twilight returned shortly after, feeling much more comfortable in her armor—sans helmet, which she omitted as a small indulgence to Rarity. Not that the princess would notice the gesture, probably, but still.
As Twilight expected, neither of her friends had moved from their spot. She noticed they didn’t have drinks, either, so Lady Cadance hadn’t yet returned from her round.
“I’m sure you could have seduced her, too, Rarity,” she heard Fluttershy saying as she approached.
“Are we still talking about this?” Twilight asked as she took her place next to Rarity.
“Yes, we are,” Rarity replied matter-of-factly. She looked at Twilight, and a delighted smile blossomed on her lips. “Twilight, you left your helmet off!”
“I did, your highness.” She stood a little taller after that, her tail wagging behind her at an acceptable pace.
As pleased as she seemed, the princess’s affectionate admiring became scrutinous. “Your smile,” she said, narrowing her eyes. “That’s what got to Lady Cadance.” She looked to Fluttershy, thankfully missing Twilight rolling her eyes yet again. “What do you think?”
“Mmm… You do have a very nice smile, Twilight,” she agreed, which made Twilight smile, although she was now weirdly self-conscious about her smile. This is why she rarely did it.
“But I have a dazzling smile, too!” Rarity whined, pawing at the floor. “If it were just smiles that did her in, she would have fallen for me the moment she saw me! No.” Her eyes narrowed as she surveyed the dancing masses. “It must be something else.” She looked at Twilight again, studying her. “Something only you have! But what?”
Twilight shrugged. “No patience for ridiculous conversations?” the guard suggested helpfully.
“No, no,” Rarity replied, ignoring the jab as she looked her guard up and down. “It has to be something else. Something uniquely Twilight. But what?”
Her musings, unfortunately, were cut short by the return of Lady Cadance, three glasses floating next to her and her guard, her entourage of favor-seeking nobles being held back by the guards ensuring Rarity her personal space.
“I’m back! Finally,” Lady Cadance greeted, seeming genuinely happy to return to the mares and be away from the others. She floated a glass to Fluttershy. “Lady Fluttershy.” Then Rarity. “Your Highness.” And then she looked at Twilight, teasing. “And nothing for—Oh!”
Her eyes widened slightly at the sight of Twilight in her armor, the guard trying her best not to smile too awkwardly.
“Erhm…” Lady Cadance laughed somewhat nervously, glancing from Twilight to the two other mares. “...Was I supposed to have a costume to switch into halfway?” she asked, only half-jokingly.
Rarity shook her head. “Oh, goodness, no. Twilight’s just decided to put on her uniform. She’s my personal guard,” she clarified at Cadance’s confused expression, which quickly turned to shock.
“Oh!” she said, as shock turned to what even Twilight could recognize as a quiet disappointment. “Oh. I didn’t realize.”
“You shouldn’t have had to,” Princess Rarity replied gently. “I requested she wear a dress for the event precisely for that reason.”
Lady Cadance didn’t exactly look off-put but confused, rather. “I see. That’s a little unorthodox, isn’t it?” She met Twilight’s gaze. “Isn’t that dangerous?”
“It is, yes,” Twilight replied curtly—not towards Lady Cadance, but the situation. There was no avoiding it, but she hated for ponies to think she was being careless. Judging by his expression, Cadance’s personal guard certainly thought so.
Rarity raised an eyebrow. “Please do forgive me for wanting my friend to be treated like a pony and not a mute, unmoving statue for once.”
If they were alone, or perhaps only just in the presence of Fluttershy, Twilight would have been quick to point out that she was a bodyguard first and friend second. In fact, she shouldn’t even be a friend, let alone a lover. But, at any rate, there was no point dwelling on that anymore. That war was more than lost, and all she could do was hope it wouldn’t one day prove to be a fatal decision.
Luckily, Twilight didn’t even have to figure out what to say because Lady Cadance spoke next.
“You were friends before Lady Sparkle became your guard?” she asked, intrigued.
“No,” Twilight replied matter-of-factly, which certainly contrasted with Rarity’s half-laughed, “Oh, goodness, no. Absolutely not.”
“...Oh!” replied Lady Cadance, and nothing else.
A wicked smile appeared on the Princess’ lips, promptly followed by two words said in a specific tone Twilight had forcibly learned meant the Princess was about to be very exasperatingly Rarity.
“In fact…” She looked conspiratorially from side to side before loudly whispering, “Twilight didn’t want to be my guard, you know? She was originally training to replace my father’s personal guard, not mine.”
Oh no, thought Twilight Sparkle, and then again but with an expletive when Princess Cadance replied with an intrigued, “Really?”
“Mhm!” Rarity continued, clearly—CLEARLY—delighting in the little mystery she was weaving. “And do you know why she was assigned to me instead?”
“Princess,” Twilight said, immediately and severely. “If I may speak out of turn—”
Princess Rarity didn’t hesitate as she replied, “You may absolutely not.” She turned back to Cadance, giddy as she urged her on with a gesture. “Now, go on, my dear. Ask me why.”
A tacit conversation ensued between Lady Cadance and Twilight when the former hesitantly looked at the latter. Twilight’s side of the discussion was straight and to the point, hoping against hope to leverage the Lady’s potential crush.
“Do not ask,” said the guard with nothing but her eyes.
Lady Cadance took this in for less than a fraction of a second before Twilight Sparkle became convinced that love in any shape or form meant diddly-squat to everypony when Lady Cadance smiled and silently replied, “Sorry!”
“Why was she assigned to you?” Lady Cadance asked, amused. Amused! Twilight couldn’t believe it, and she couldn’t believe she was surprised. Why was she surprised? Gossip and secrets were what aristocrats lived and died for.
Nobles, she thought.
“Because, a few years ago,” Rarity answered, twirling a lock of her hair with her hoof, “after an entire day of covering for my previous bodyguard because he was ill, father asked Twilight here what she thought of me and the experience, and—”
“Princess,” Twilight interrupted, pained. Princess Rarity loved her, didn’t she? Surely, for the sake of their secret love, she would stop. “Please. What is the point of this?”
But because love was dead and buried, Rarity said, “Twilight, really, it’s a fun story! Calm down. Anyhoo, as I was saying.” She turned back to Cadance, whose apologetic glance meant nothing when immediately followed by a riveted grin. “So he asked her, and she replied that ‘her personal opinion of me was irrelevant and that it had been an honor to guard his daughter.’ So, as you can see, she completely avoided answering.” She paused for a moment and then spoke: “Do you want to know what happened next?”
Twilight didn’t even bother with silent conversations.
“Don’t ask,” she said. “Don’t.”
Lady Cadance giggled, endeared. “Twilight. I’m sorry, but how can I not? I need to know.”
“She needs to know, Twilight,” Rarity added severely.
As a last resort, Twilight looked to Fluttershy, imploring her help, who politely betrayed Twilight by taking a sip of water and saying, “I’m not getting involved.”
“Nobles,” Twilight loudly muttered, forcing herself to look away as a sign of protest.
Lady Cadance asked Rarity, “What happened?”
Rarity giggled. “Well, father saw right through her, of course, and asked her—in front of me, mind you—to please answer the question frankly, knowing that on his honor as king, there would be no repercussion.”
She then turned to Twilight, whose side-eye she regaled with the most self-satisfied grin she could muster.
“And what, Twilight Sparkle, may I ask did you reply?”
Twilight frowned at Rarity.
Rarity smiled at Twilight.
Cadance looked at both of them with bated breath. Even Fluttershy was paying attention.
Eventually, after letting out the single most long-suffering sigh she could possibly sigh, Twilight Sparkle spoke: “I said that I was grateful for the experience because it had inspired me to triple my efforts to be his bodyguard so I could protect the last competent monarch that would reign in my lifetime.”
No one spoke for a moment, both Fluttershy and Cadance staring at the stone-faced Twilight with absolute shock until Cadance giggled, which in turn became delighted, enchanted laughter.
“You’re joking. You didn’t!”
“Oh, she did,” Rarity said, every single word completely dripping with pride. Pride! Twilight couldn’t believe it. Maybe they were meant for each other, the pair of sadomasochists they apparently were.
“But— You never told me this!” Fluttershy exclaimed, still processing the information.
Rarity snorted. “Of course not, dearest. Why would I tell you something so humiliating? Except for now, which is acceptable because it is both funny and relevant. In any case.” She cleared her throat. “After thanking Twilight for her honesty, he assigned Twilight to me because he thought I would benefit from spending all of my time with a brilliant and capable pony who would have no qualms with telling me exactly when and why I’m being ‘incompetent’.”
“Like, for example, now?” Twilight asked, frowning. “Giving a foreign monarch estimated knowledge of the faith of your inner circle in your reigning and political capabilities?”
“Ooooooh,” replied Lady Cadance, furrowing her brow and rubbing the tip of her wings together. “Yes, this will be wonderful intel for when I decide to turn on our ally of centuries and conquer a kingdom of over fifty million with my tiny Empire of six million!”
“Cadance, darling, will you promise me my dungeon will have a nice soft bed? And will I have tea every morning?” She grabbed both Twilight and Fluttershy’s hooves with her magic. “And you’ll spare them, won’t you?”
“Hey!” Twilight protested. “I made a fair point!”
“You did, Twilight,” Lady Cadance finally agreed. “But I can assure you conquering Equestria is not on my tasklist anytime in the future,” she finished, grinning.
Rarity laughed. “Speaking from experience, I can confirm that you don’t want Twilight disliking you, no. In fact, part of the reason I didn’t protest her being my permanent guard was that I was determined to make her like me. And you know what?” Her hoof raised just as her smitten eyes met Twilight, but rather than brushing back the guard’s bangs as usual, she simply rested her hoof on Twilight’s shoulder. “I wasn’t too incompetent at that, now was I?”
And finally, softening as she always did when confronted with Rarity’s sincere affection, Twilight playfully replied, “No, I guess you weren’t.” She then smirked and added, “Too bad you didn’t put that much effort into actually, you know, my actual observation about you.”
Cadance giggling interrupted their moment, and they both turned to her.
“I think you may have underestimated Rarity, Twilight,” she replied, to which Twilight snorted loudly.
“You think so, milady?”
Cadance nodded. “I do, actually! Being so honest and open might sound like a bad idea, but on a personal and emotional level?” She inconspicuously nodded towards the crowd of nobles still hanging about in the distance, trying to overhear and join in. “This isn’t just the first time in a very long time I’ve felt like I’ve been talking to somepony as they are and not who they think I want them to be, but who’s made me feel comfortable enough to be myself.” She shrugged. “Just my two bits.”
“Well!” Rarity smugly said to Twilight. “Fancy that!”
“Ah, I… I hadn’t thought of it like that,” Twilight replied, a little embarrassed.
“And not only that but…” The hint of a smirk appeared on Cadance’s lips. “It looks like she’s rubbing off on you, considering how openly and companionable you’ve been, too.”
To Twilight’s growing blush, Rarity was having a field day. “Well, well!” she exclaimed, and Twilight refused to acknowledge the hay-eating grin she could feel being directed at her. “Fancy that, too!”
“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” Twilight asked her, her irritation quickly slipping through her hooves at the sight of Rarity’s absolutely giddy expression. She’s lucky she’s so cute.
But Cadance was not yet done.
“And lastly—”
“Milady,” Twilight interrupted, half-joking, half-pleading. “Don’t give her more ammunition against me. Please. Look at her already!”
Cadance laughed. “Just one little last one? And Princess Rarity will promise never to bring up your shameful first meeting again—” She looked at Rarity. “Won’t you, Rarity?”
Rarity made a show out of hesitating. “Ooooh… That’s quite the ask, my dear.” She regarded Twilight thoughtfully as she ‘hmm’d loudly. “I suppose I can agree to that.”
“Oh, fine,” Twilight said, forcing herself not to give Rarity the satisfaction of smiling.
“Well,” Cadance began, “I’ve known you very little, Twilight, but my impression is you’re a very capable mare, I imagine both as a guard and an advisor. So, bearing that in mind, I think it was brilliant of Rarity to make you liking her the priority. After all…” She tilted her head coyly. “The ponies we most encourage and push to improve are those we hold dear.”
If Twilight Sparkle had been embarrassed before, now she was well beyond that. In fact, she felt so completely seen through, she might have started worrying about Rarity and her having been too apparent if Rarity wasn’t currently distracting her by being Annoyingly Rarity.
“Well, well, well!” Rarity said, radiating self-esteem like a heat haze.
For the first time, Twilight laughed, charmed because she couldn’t help but be charmed. “I take it you’ll never let me live this down, will you, your highness?”
“Absolutely damn not.”
Fluttershy gasped, the only one in the present company who wasn’t laughing. “Rarity! Language!”
A few minutes later, as the four friends fell into a new conversation, someone politely tapped Twilight on the shoulder, and she did not flinch so much as scowl on reflex. "You're lucky I love you more than I hate it when you do that."
"Wanted to know if I still could." Shining Armor—her older brother and a high-ranking commander— was very, very smug.
“Goodness, Captain Armor!” Princess Rarity exclaimed, astonished. “Where did you come from?”
“Just making my rounds, your highness,” he said, grinning as he bowed in reverence. “His majesty asked me to make sure none of these Bluebloods start drunkenly dueling each other after last year’s shindig.” He then ruffled a-very-annoyed Twilight’s mane with his hoof. “You might consider having this one go through training again, by the way. Too easy to sneak up on her.”
Twilight had choice words for that, but she omitted saying them for the ladies’ sake.
“Oh, before I forget! You haven’t met yet,” Princess Rarity said, gesturing to Shining. “Cadance, this is Commander Shining Armor.” Then, in turn, she gestured to Cadance. “Commander, this is our guest of honor, Lady Cadance MiAmore. This is her first time visiting Equestria, as you know.”
It happened right before Twilight’s eyes. Romance. Of the Gooey Kind.
Her eyes glued to him, Cadance pressed a hoof against her chest and said, “Why, hello, Commander. Nice to meet you.”
As in a trance, he held eye contact with her as he bowed and said, in a voice so low, Twilight wanted to smack the back of his head, “Hello, my lady.”
“Oh my stars,” Twilight heard Rarity whisper, awed. “What a stallion.”
“Rarity!” whispered both Twilight and Fluttershy.
“What! It’s true!”
Fortunately, neither Shining Armor nor Cadance heard her, too occupied by each other. And not wasting any time, either, as Cadance boldly—and to Rarity’s gasp—extended her hoof towards Shining, who almost immediately—to another Rarity gasp—took it.
“Would you give me the honor of a dance?” he said, with a smolder that certainly worked on Cadance and Rarity, to Twilight’s chagrin.
Cadance laughed, raising an eyebrow. “Are you making a move on me, Commander?”
He shrugged, smiling with boyish charm. “I am, My Lady.”
And then, without another word, the two took off towards the dance floor, completely lost in each other’s eyes.
Rarity was mesmerized. “Wow.”
“Wow is right,” Twilight replied, though with absolutely none of the dreaminess Rarity sighed hers with. “They literally just met.”
“Truly?”
Twilight nodded. “Yes. Shining has never gone with the king on his visits to the Crystal Empire.”
Rarity sighed again, a hoof on her heart. “Love at first sight… Wow…”
Twilight shook her head at the princess. “Geez, just look at you,” she said. “‘What a stallion’? Really?”
Rarity scoffed. “It was just an observation! Just because I no longer have a crush on him doesn’t mean I can no longer appreciate his charm.”
Twilight rolled her eyes. “Alright, your high—Wait.” She turned around to face the princess fully. “Hold on. ‘No longer have a crush’?! You had a crush on Shining Armor?!”
Princess Rarity blinked, unfazed. “Yes.”
Twilight was flabbergasted. Rarity? Crush? Shining Armor?
“What? Why didn’t you tell me?!”
At this, Rarity frowned. “First of all, you never asked. Second of all, why would I tell you? He’s your brother! And besides, I know you too well. You’d start going into a spiral about it like you’re doing right now!”
“I am not going into a spiral,” Twilight protested, returning to her position next to Rarity. “It's just… weird. But I’m fine.”
“Good! You should be!” Rarity looked back to the dancing couple in the distance. “You know, I’m not even upset anymore that she didn’t fall in love with me. Good for them.”
Twilight shook her head. “Honestly, I’m just happy that I was assigned to be your substitute guard years ago, not Shining.” She had said this statement as a joke—a silly little ‘what-if’ which she expected to amuse Rarity.
And yet.
And yet.
And yet, when she looked at Rarity, it wasn’t a look of amusement that the princess had, but one of embarrassed guilt.
Twilight was immediately upon her yet again, the princess stepping back. “Rarity. What does that expression mean?”
“What expression?” Rarity asked nervously. “I don’t have an expression of any sort.”
“Rarity.”
“I don’t!”
Twilight’s eyes met Fluttershy’s. “Lady Fluttershy.”
Fluttershy’s eyes immediately met her still-full glass of water. “Oh my! Am I already done with my water? I should get more!”
“Twilight,” Rarity lovingly and calmly said, watching as Fluttershy hurried off before looking at her partner. “Twilight. For the sake of the future of this lovely evening, I would advise you don’t press the issue.”
Twilight stared at her. Unmoving.
To the sound of a long sigh, Rarity looked down at her glass of water. “You’re not going to let me leave until I say, are you?”
“Absolutely not.”
“Touché.”
Rarity looked up at Twilight, clearly mulling over what she was going to say, which was not helping Twilight not spiral.
“Do you know why father assigned you to be my guard?” she asked and lifted her hoof to stop Twilight from talking. “Not permanently. I mean, in the first place, to substitute Flynnwing.”
“I…” Twilight furrowed her brow, sure she knew the answer but realizing she did not. “No. Why?”
Rarity looked back to her water, a slight tinge of red on her cheeks. “It was because…” She faltered, clearly bracing herself, before finishing, “It was because Shining Armor was going to be the substitute, but Flynnwing told him about my crush, so they assigned you instead. So, there!” She looked back at Twilight. “Satisfied? Now you know why I was annoyed at you to begin with.”
Rather than reply, or say anything at all, really, Twilight simply went back to her position next to Rarity, deep in thought.
“Twilight?” Rarity asked, disconcerted by the silence. “Twilight, say something. You’re not upset, are you?”
Twilight was quiet another moment before carefully replying, “No, not exactly. It just kind of stings, honestly. I’m not upset, but it’s still upsetting to hear.”
“Upsetting?! No, absolutely not,” Rarity huffed, incredulous. “Twilight Sparkle. Twilight Sparkle, Look at me. Look at me!” Twilight did so, making sure to stare at Rarity as intently as she could, which was funny to her but only incensed Rarity more as she continued, “Need I remind you that you didn’t want to guard me in the first place! You don’t get to be upset!”
Twilight snorted. Loudly. “What! That’s not even the same—”
Rarity was flabbergasted. “You said I was incompetent! You said I was a spoiled brat! Twilight Sparkle!”
Twilight playfully rolled her eyes. “I mean—Yes, I did say that, but—I mean—” She fixed Rarity with A Look. “Your highness… Not the same.”
“No! No, yes the same!” Rarity went back to her spot, frustrated. “Honestly, you’re a little unbelievable. The fact of the matter is that neither of us wanted to be stuck with the other. End of discussion.” She paused and then kept going, which Twilight found both immensely endearing and ridiculous, but alright. “Granted, yes,” Rarity said, “I was a brat, but I at least apologized the day after and tried to ingratiate myself with you. You didn’t start even liking me until months later.”
Twilight’s mind zoned in on Rarity’s last statement, mulling it over and over in her mind, which she could only do because Rarity was too busy pouting in the general direction of the dancefloor.
Something about that statement stuck with her. Because the reality was that it wasn’t wrong, but it also wasn’t exactly right, either. And Twilight knew why, actually, because just like the crown princess, Twilight Sparkle had secrets about that day, too. Secrets that made a lot more sense in the light of new revelations.
And wasn’t it fair that if Rarity confessed her secrets, Twilight should do the same?
“It wasn’t just anypony who assigned me to you.”
Though the words tumbled out of her mouth somewhat unbidden, her tone was perfectly controlled, just like everything else she did.
Rarity looked at her, still irritated. “Pardon?”
“It wasn’t just anypony,” Twilight continued, not looking at Rarity but at the crowd, dancing and having fun. “It was Shining. He never told me he was going to be the replacement originally, just that the original replacement wasn’t a good fit, and he thought I should do it, and—”
Her words faded out, not necessarily because she wanted to, but because, as controlled as she was, bad memories were sometimes still hard to confront. To voice and say and allow them to live again rather than be taken to the grave.
For a split-second, Twilight hesitated on whether she should continue, only to realize that Princess Rarity hadn’t spoken up. She simply stood there, allowing Twilight space to speak even if her irritation could still be felt.
Because of course she would.
Because even though Princess Rarity loved to speak whenever she could, Just Rarity—as herself and nothing else—knew Twilight well enough to tell when to simply listen. That was enough to give Twilight what she needed to continue.
“So I did it,” she said, voice steady and nerves set even though being vulnerable was literally against the code she’d been taught. But as Cadance noted, it was Rarity who’d taught her that that wasn’t always the way.
“I did it, but you were difficult, and I was trying so hard to be the best and prove myself that I was difficult, too, and I was frustrated that you weren’t what I thought you would be and that things weren’t going well, and I told myself it was your fault.” She shrugged—not to be mean or dismissive, but just because facts were facts. “That’s why I said what I said to the king. I didn’t want to disappoint Shining or the King, and I really didn’t care about what you thought of me.”
She paused again. This time on purpose, wanting to give Rarity space to speak. Or, maybe, honestly, because she was surprised Rarity hadn’t interrupted yet with a harrumph as she always did and hiss that, “well, I’m sorry I was such a drag, Twilight!”
But she didn’t. She continued to be quiet and listen, making Twilight nervous. Had she gone too far in trying to make a point? Whatever Rarity was feeling, she was setting it aside, and Twilight didn’t know how to take that.
“And then,” she continued nevertheless, only to stop when her eyes fell on Shining Armor and Cadance, the two laughing as they danced.
“And then?” Rarity finally prompted, and to Twilight’s surprise, she didn’t sound annoyed but engaged. Interested.
But rather than reply, Twilight kept watching the dancing couple and started to laugh. Not a belly laugh or a loud laugh, just the soft laughter that comes from recognizing things you hadn’t before.
“You know,” Twilight said suddenly, “you were right! They do make a good couple.”
“What?” Rarity asked, and now the familiar Princess Rarity irritation and indignation was back in full force, and Twilight felt bad for smiling at it. “What does that have to do with—? Twilight Sparkle, you just spent a few good minutes practically trashing me, and now you want to admire others? What?”
Twilight turned to her, impassive. “I have a point, your highness.”
Rarity scoffed. “Do you?”
“I do.”
“Well then, it better be a damn good point, Twilight, because I have half a mind to stomp away.”
Twilight grinned at her like she often did in the princess's presence. “Oh, trust me, it is.”
And then, just as fast as it came, the grin vanished. Gone and replaced by a sobering tone as Twilight returned to observing her brother.
“Shining Armor spoke with me after you and I met with the king,” she continued, every word sharpened to a cutting perfection. “He told me he was disappointed in me. That he knew I was clever, but that he expected me to be smart enough to know a bodyguard would never actually be good if they didn’t actually care about their charge and tried to understand them and have their trust.” She paused, her eyes set on her brother. “And then he told me that he’d spoken to the king and disagreed with his decision that I was ready.”
“What?” Rarity gasped.
Twilight nodded her head. “You heard me. He wanted me replaced, but the king wanted it to be my choice to stay or not.”
Finally, Rarity spoke.
“I see,” she said curtly. “So you stayed because of a wounded ego, then? Good to know, I suppose.”
Twilight almost laughed. She wanted to laugh! Of course that would be Rarity’s takeaway. Of course it would be, and of course she’d be petty about it, and the silliest thing out of everything was the fact that Twilight was happy to be the subject of Rarity’s admittedly deserved pettiness.
Never a dull moment when loving Rarity.
“Actually,” Twilight replied matter-of-factly, eyes still on the crowd, “I agreed with Shining Armor. I didn’t think I was ready yet, either. In fact, after you went to bed that night, I knew the king was awake, and I was going to tell him I wanted to be replaced.”
A pause.
“What made you change your mind?”
Twilight allowed herself a glance at Rarity before returning it to the crowd. “Don’t you remember? You did. You came out of your room after I left, apologized, and said you wanted us to work well together.” She couldn’t help a smile at the memory. “And after you went back to your room, I thought that if you were going to try and make an effort to be better for me, then I wanted to do the same for you.”
And it was then and only then that Twilight Sparkle finally turned to look at Rarity, the latter hanging on Twilight’s every word.
“So, my point is that actually, your highness, you’re right. The only one of us who’s allowed to complain about how we got here is you.” She smiled the smile she reserved only for Rarity, the one that was as teasing as it was loving, which was endlessly. “You didn’t have a choice in being stuck with me, but I made the choice to be stuck with you.”
The two looked at each other, nothing else mattering except for them and Rarity’s tear-filled eyes and silly smile, and Twilight’s loving gaze and scandalously insolent grin.
“Twilight Sparkle,” Rarity whispered, as composed as she could be, every word measured, “why would you do this to me when we’re in public?” When Twilight simply playfully shrugged, Rarity forced herself to look back to the crowd, clearly trying her best not to cry further. “You jerk. You absolute jerk, I hate you. Goddesses. Damn you. How could you DO this to me?”
“I told you I had a very good point!”
“Well, I still feel like stomping off for entirely different reasons!” Rarity shot back, smiling when Twilight laughed. She looked at her guard, half-annoyed. “What will I tell Fluttershy when she comes back to see me crying?! Hm?!”
Twilight tilted her head to the side, grinning smugly. “That I have so moved you that you’re overwhelmed by shame at all the silly things you’ve put me through?”
“Put you through?” Rarity asked, and how smitten and in love Twilight felt when Rarity regaled her with her winning smile and affectionate gaze. “My darling dearest, you mean the things you chose to be put through.”
Twilight laughed. “I did, didn’t I?”
She moved close to the princess, their tails intertwining away from the eyes of others, both of them content with watching Cadance and Shining dance like they might one day be able to do.
“Stars,” Rarity mused aloud, following Cadance with her eyes, “she really is lovely, isn’t she?”
And she was, Twilight agreed.
Many were right to think Lady Cadance was of immense beauty, but as much as she was flattered by Cadance’s interest, the truth of the matter was that, given the choice between Rarity and Cadance, or even Rarity and anypony else in the whole wide world, Twilight Sparkle would still choose Rarity a thousand times over.
