“From that day forward, all yaks agreed to smash or stomp as a way to relieve stress and cool off arguments that had reached heated stalemates. As time went on, overall tensions between yaks diminished, and they even went on to create Yickslurbertfest, a holiday centered around smashing.”
Huh. I didn’t know those big oafs (Sans Yona; that lovable cinnamon bun sure isn’t an oaf!) had such deep reasons as to why they loved to make like The Hulk and smash stuff. Seems like I learn something new every time during Twilight’s and my reading sessions. Twilight was sitting beside me narrating some brand-new “New Known History of the Yaks” book that she held with her magic. She looked adorable/adorkable again by how excited she and her hungry-for-knowledge smile was as she read. It’s kinda her thing.
Although I have no idea how she resisted reading that book ASAP after she got it yesterday. You’d usually need the world’s strongest crowbar that’s also immune to magic to keep that alicorn from digging into a new book right away. Okay, that crowbar bit isn’t actually true, but you get the point. Twilight Sparkle loves books.
But something I did have an idea on was that, unlike Gallus, I was actually somewhat interested in learning more about Equestria – I am stuck here – but thinking about Gallus popped an idea into my noggin. Heh heh, this was too good to pass up. I closed my eyes and yanked down the brim of my hat. That hat had designs of my friends’ Cutie Marks, which obviously included Twilight’s Cutie Mark. Although, Twi feels and acts more like an ‘Equestrian big sister’ than a friend.
“...to this day, Yaks are one of the tightest-knit of all groups known to ponykind. It is even possible they surpass ponies as a whole when it comes to unity. For Yaks, smashing can be just another way to not break relationships, but build them. The end.”
And there it was!
*Snore…snore…*.
“Ugh! Eric, stop that!”
“Ha ha ha!” I opened my eyes and stretched my arms, letting out a deep drawn-out yawn. Twilight had one of the poutiest yet priceless frowns ever on her face. “Morning already, and you’re here too? Don’t tell me you put us both to sleep!”
“I knew I shouldn’t have told you about Gallus falling asleep in my Equestrian History class! This is the third time you did that joke to me!”
“Okay, okay, I’ll cut the fake snoozing gag. Anyway, since you’re done with that yak book, it’s my turn to pick a book to read.”
“I don’t know if I feel like reading another book now,” she whined with that same pouty face. Very unbecoming of a princess if you ask me.
“Come on, Twi, don’t be the Princess of Sourpuss. Tell you what: if we continue, you can pick the next book and I’ll give you an ear-scratch session later.” I gave her a few pokes in her ribs. “Huh? Huh? You may not like to smash like yaks do, but you love having your ears scratched when we’re alone.”
That pouty frown melted into a cute little smile. “You make it too hard to stay mad at you sometimes. It’s not fair.”
“Yeah, well, humans aren’t always fair to get what we want, so I’m only following my human instincts.” I reached for and flicked one of her ears. As Twilight always did when I do that, she eeked out a giggle that was cute as all get out. “See? So, what do you say to my offer? Going once, going twice–”
“Okay, sold. Just don’t forget about the ear-scratch session you agreed to.”
Twilight hopped off the couch and flew to one of her bookshelves. I glanced over to our teacups on the table by us, both mostly empty. I never thought about it before, but during our reading sessions Twi almost always placed her cup in the same exact spot, dead center of the left half of the table. The rare times she didn’t ended up being a red flag that something was wrong. My cup was on the table’s right half but near the edge closest to the couch, though unlike a certain purple alicorn, I never cared about the precise spot of my cups. All that mattered to me was if they were close to me.
In fact, with Twilight searching for the next book to read, this was an opportunity to cash in on a little Twi-fun. I pushed myself off the couch and crept as lightly as I could to that table. With pony hearing being sharper than mine, I had to be extra-light on my feet or Twi could have heard me and ruined my Twi-fun before it started. I inched her cup to the left with my left palm just a tad and slunk to where I was on the couch.
Heh, I cut it close there; barely a second after my butt met the couch, the Princess of Books finally flew back to our couch while carrying a book in her magic. “I picked out ‘Tales From the Grave’. That’s okay, right?”
“Works for me, but it’s your call on what to read for us.”
“I know, but I don’t want to pick something you’d have no interest in.” She looked to her cup–good, I didn’t have to think of an excuse to get her to do it. She flew to her cup, slid it to her sweet spot, and joined me on our couch. Naturally, I had to see if I could keep the Twi-fun going a bit longer.
“Hold on, I thought you would have picked a mystery book next. You actually want to break your reading order for once?”
“But I usually pick mysteries as something I read every other reading session, remember? Though, I guess I could mix it up and read one now, because I know you; you think I can’t.”
“Guilty as charged.” I really did think she could struggle to change her reading order, so I wasn’t lying.
Twilight smirked and flew to a bookshelf again. I pushed myself up, crept to that table, and slightly slid her cup. Almost forgot to stay light on my feet. I snuck backward to the couch, just in time for Twi to pick out a mystery book and return to her spot on the couch. She glanced over to her cup and said, “Huh?”
“Don’t tell me you want to move your cup again? I know you’re the perfectionist to put all other perfectionists to shame, but this is ridiculous!”
“I thought I moved it to where I always have it, but it’s not.” She turned to me with a little scowl. “Maybe you making fun of me threw off my focus.”
“Well, this is a new one; you’re blaming me for you not having something absolutely perfect.”
“Yeah, I suppose I shouldn’t have said what I did. Sorry,” she said with a frown, but I had to fix that frown. Couldn’t let her feel bad over being right.
“No sweat, Twi. Just call it payback that I had coming for my sleeping jokes.”
“Hehe, sounds good.” She went over to her cup and moved it back to her sweet spot.
I said, “Uh, I’m getting hungry. How about some snacks?”
“I could get us some sandwiches. I’ll be right back.” Twilight trotted out one of the library’s doors.
“You’re too easy, Twi.” I chucked to myself and repeated the ‘ol ‘move an oblivious alicorn’s cup’ trick, but didn’t have to worry about being light on my feet this time. I really was getting hungry, so I killed two birds with one stone; have more Twi-fun and get a bite to eat in the process!
The adorkable one trotted back into the library, carrying two plates in her magic that each held a sandwich. Some hay stuck out of one, and the edges of a slice of ham and cheese did the same from the other, so I figured her sandwich was a haysandwich and mine was a ham and cheese one–and no, it didn’t freak ponies out when I eat meat. She sat the plate in the very center of the table, looked at her cup and its “altered” position, and pushed it to her sweet spot again. She slowly turned her head to me–and based by that glare aimed at me, she sensed that cup had my fingerprints on it.
“Hey, I didn’t do anything to screw up your focus. 20 bits even say you’ll be moving that thing yet again in five minutes.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, I gave you too much time. 30 bits say you’d be at it again in two minutes.”
Her eyes squinted. She floated the mystery book she had picked out earlier off and held it over my head. Must be bluffing. Twilight wouldn’t have been annoyed enough to risk damaging a book!
“You wouldn’t.”
I felt my hat float off my head, followed by a hard thud onto said head!
*Whack!*
“Ow!” I massaged my now-stinging head. Okay, she would!
“Just so you know, that ‘smash’ was a light one for my book’s safety.”
“Okay, I get it. No more bet jokes.” I stopped rubbing my not-quite-as-much-stinging head.
“Thank you.” She floated my hat back to my head and her smashing book onto the couch. She turned her head toward our cups and said. “Hmm…it looks like both our cups are low on juice, so I'm going to fill mine up. Would you like me to fill yours too?”
“Sure.” Twi picked up our cups off the table and left the library. A couple of minutes or so later, she came back with them. She set one, a half-full one on her favorite spot, and the other, a full one, around where I kept it on the table’s right side. Guess she wasn’t too thirsty.
“Oh, I should go grab another sandwich for each of us in case either of us would want more. Wait here.”
This was too good. She was serving me another chance for more Twi-fun on a silver platter! After she left to grab more grub, I got off the couch once again. However, this would be the last time I’d move that cup for the time being. Doing it any more times would have risked truly upsetting Twilight, and I draw a hard line at going that far.
As before, I pushed the cup to slide–wait, what was this? I pulled my hand back, but some weird goo or slime or whatnot stuck my hand to the cup like the world’s strongest glue. I grabbed the cup from the opposite side with my right hand and tried to pull the cup off my left hand.
Bad move. It got stuck to the cup too, leaving both my hands in a sticky situation. No matter how hard I tried to yank my hands free, that goo had none of it. Last time I was denied this strongly was when I teasingly advised Starlight to finally ask out Trixie or Sunburst.
Saying that unicorn said “no” would be an understatement.
“What’s going on?! What is this stuff?!”
*Giggling*
Of course it was a trap. I looked to where that giggling was coming from, and Twilight stood in the same doorway she had left from, still giggling. Safe to say she was behind this with some spell.
Obviously, I couldn’t deny it this time, so I blew a sigh and asked, “How long did you know?”
“I suspected it after the third time you moved my cup, but I still need to confirm my results.”
“What ‘results’?”
She strolled over to me with such a smug grin that only Starlight could rival. Smuglight then stared at my poor stuck hands and the cup trapped between them. “As was expected, both of the subject’s hands are firmly adhered to my teacup. All known data about the exotic species ‘Homo Sapiens’ strongly suggest that he feels frustrated andembarrassed. Therefore, I can safely conclude that my hypothesis was correct and declare this experiment over. Hehe.”
Wow. Twi really wanted to rub it in. Surprised she even remembered what I said humans’ scientific name was.
“Touché.”
Her smug grin darkened to a no-nonsense frown. “Now, unless you want me to repeat that experiment with invisible spikes instead of an ecellentatto collelo spell, will you leave my cups alone from now on?”
“Yeah, I’ll be a good Homo Sapiens and cut it out. So, think you can reverse that ecalll-whatever you called it and free me?”
Twilight rolled her eyes upward. She smirked and answered, “Nah.”
“‘Nah’?!”
“Besides, I really should get a head-start on planning our students’ activities for the next three months. I’m going to end our reading session early, and don’t worry about the ear-scratch session you agreed to. Bye!” She ran toward a door while snickering under her breath.
No way. Twilight couldn’t be serious! I ran off after her and chased that sneaky pseudo-scientist out of the library and down the castle’s hallways. Some of the juice from her cup with attachment issues splatted out as I ran, but I could worry about that later.
“Twilight, you can’t leave me like this! Stop running and help me!”
“Sorry, but I’m just following my pony instincts! Ponies instinctively flee when something chases us!”
“You took off running before I started chasing you! Get back here and unstick me! I’ll even take getting smashed harder with books over this! Twillllight!”
Author's Note
I would say it was too bad Eric didn't have a rope that he could use to try to catch Twilight with, but since his hands were still stuck to her cup, a rope would do him no good anyway
.
He'd just have to wait for Twilight to stop playing with him and free his hands, or go find Starlight Glimmer and have her do it.
