Off-Model

by Pillowfight

Rating: mature
Tags: Original Character, Porn, Comedy, Profanity, Big Macintosh, Shining Armor, Sex, Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 3151

Twilight and Applejack head to a parallel universe for some sexy fun with their brothers. There’s just one little problem...

For years, Twilight Sparkle and Applejack have used every trick they can think of to seduce their brothers... with unsexy results. With Big Mac and Shining Armour now both happily married, the two friends decide to try one last time. They jump into a parallel universe, where they can finally hook up with the forbidden stallions they lust after.

Of course, the ponies in parallel universes won’t be quite the same as the ones they know... but that just means it’s not technically incest, right?

My entry for the Sibling's Day Incest Contest: a naughty sex comedy featuring consenting adults and an ending of pure smut.

Published 2023-04-07 22:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2023-04-07 22:00:01 UTC

For ages 18 and up

Applejack trotted cautiously into the darkened throne room of her friend and conspirator, Princess Twilight Sparkle. As usual, she’d been summoned from Sweet Apple Acres by an engraved invitation that burned to ash in her hoof. Yet this was no ordinary meeting. Something big would happen tonight, Applejack could feel it. But she couldn’t see it. She couldn’t see anything!

“Twilight, are ya in here?” she called out.

“No names!” Twilight Sparkle suddenly appeared next to her in a magical flash. “Have you forgotten that this is a secret society?”

“We ain’t secret from each other. Do ya mind if we get started? I skipped supper for this.”

Twilight grumbled and cast a spell. Torches around the throne room ignited, casting long shadows on the two mares standing beside each other, ready to share some dark task.

“Were you followed?” Twilight asked her friend suspiciously.

“I don’t think so. A couple folks starin’ at mah plot, the usual.”

“Very well.” Twilight solemnly hit a gong with her hoof. “In that case, this meeting of the Sorority for Fraternal Love will come to order.”

“Where’d ya get that gong? It weren’t here last time.”

“The incredible discount I got on a secret society gong doesn’t matter right now. As you know, we begin each meeting by asking whether we’ve made any progress towards the goals put down in our charter.” Twilight bounced back and forth excitedly, clearly eager to share some news with her friend. “You first, Applejack! Anything to report?”

“Eenope,” Applejack admitted. “Another hard month o’ farm work an’ friendship teachin’ an’ frustrated lust. Now, I reckon I kin yield the floor to the president o’ this here sewin’ circle, Princess Tw—”

“I’ve made a breakthrough!” Twilight screamed.

Applejack tried to act surprised. “Oh! Do tell, Twilight.”

“After weeks of searching through parallel universes, I’ve finally found it!”

“Congratulations! Erm, found what?”

“Universe 962-Haybale. It’s just like our Equestria, but without any laws against arson!”

“Ain’t so sure I like that, Twilight,” Applejack mused. “Them laws is there for a reason.”

“Did I say that out loud? I meant incest! No laws against incest!”

“Yee-hoo! Now yer talkin’!” Applejack tossed her hat into the air and caught it on her head.

Twilight sidled up to Applejack and lowered her voice. “I was thinking, since we have ‘shared interests’ we should take a look around 962-Haybale tonight.”

Applejack nodded. “I‘m pickin’ up what yer layin’ down. We’ll drop by this here universe for an evenin’ stroll, and if we just happen to stumble on a couple o’ strong, healthy, familiar-lookin’ stallions...”

“Who aren’t technically related to us at all!”

“Mebbe we jes’ let nature take ’er course.”

“Alright, then it’s settled!” Twilight’s horn glowed as she began to cast a spell.

“Whoa, hold up a tick, Twi.” Applejack held up a cautioning hoof. “This ain’t mah first magical-excuse-to-justify-bangin’-our-brothers rodeo. Are you sure there won’t be none of them ironic consequences?”

“Huh?” The magic faded from Twilight’s horn at the interruption. “W-what do you mean?”

“Well, there were the love potion, an’ the glory hole, an’ the body swap, an’ the time travel, an’ the memory eraser, an’ the want-it-need-it mishap, an’ the identical Nightmare Night costumes, an’ that changeling who done tried to blackmail us. Not to mention that cockamamie ‘free use’ law ya laid on Big Mac last year.”

“What’s wrong with that? That law worked out remarkably well!”

“Sure did, fer him, an’ you, an’ every dang individual in Ponyville ’cept me!”

Twilight patted her friend gently on the back. “Applejack, I understand you’re frustrated. There have been setbacks. It’s all part of the scientific method. But this is foolproof!” She brought out a dusty spell book and opened to a page covered with magical runes. “Every spell in this book lists the ways it could ironically go wrong. The only note on this spell says that we might find the ponies in parallel universes to be slightly ‘off-model.’”

“I dunno what that means, Twi. I weren’t no model to begin with.”

“I think it means the ponies we meet won’t look exactly like the ones we know from this universe. I’m sure it’ll be close enough. It’s not like we’re going to be looking at them... during...”

“I sure hope not.” Applejack grimaced. “Worst thing bout sex with stallions is them beggin’ faces they make, weepin’ like colts, goin’ on bout how grand ya are an’ how much they love ya.”

“They... they really say that to you?”

“Oh, ain’t it awful, Twi? Stallions just don’t get it. Independent gals like us ain‘t lookin’ for no husbands! We just want a dong in the place where the dong‘s s’posed to go! An’ mebbe in the place where it ain’t, if he knows what he‘s doin’...”

“Yeah, who needs a... husband?” Twilight sniffled and wiped her suddenly teary eyes. “That’s so lame!”

“Got a good feelin’ bout this one.” Applejack gently hugged her friend. “You just zap us over to that Haybale place when yer done with yer cryin’.”

“I’m not crying, you’re crying!” Twilight insisted. “Jumping across universes... now!”

Twilight’s horn glowed once more, and she and Applejack disappeared in a flash of light. A few seconds later, Twilight reappeared in her darkened castle. “Meeting adjourned!” she called out, before she vanished again.

As the light of her transportation magic faded, Twilight looked around, taking in the appearance of Equestria 962-Haybale. She and Applejack stood in a vast space that looked just like Princess Celestia’s throne room, but with one unusual difference.

“Fascinating!” Twilight observed. “In this universe, Canterlot Castle seems to be made out of plastic!”

“This floor don’t feel none too sturdy.” Applejack tapped the faux stone with a hoof and heard a dull, hollow sound. “If Big Mac mounts me on this, we’re like ta fall plum through to the dungeon.”

A purple mare in a lacey gown stepped into the throne room and ascended the plastic stairs, standing near Princess Celestia’s throne. “Greetings, strange ponies,” she intoned grandiloquently. “I’m Princess Glittermane!”

Twilight Sparkle bowed to the ruler of Equestria 962-Haybale. “It’s an honour to meet you, your majesty. The fame of, erm, Princess Glittermane has reached far and wide. We come to you as humble visitors from a faraway realm on an important quest.”

“Ta get porked,” Applejack added.

“Then welcome, pork-questers, to the magical pony kingdom!” Princess Glittermane smiled widely. “I’m certain we will assist you any way we can!”

“Say, Twi,” Applejack whispered. “She kinda looks like you.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Twilight scoffed. “Her cutie mark is misaligned, I would never wear that dress, and our colour schemes aren’t even close! More to the point, she’s an earth pony! Ohmigosh, Applejack, this is a dystopian universe where the earth ponies have seized power!”

“Don’t sound none too dystopian ta me,” Applejack observed. “I been writin’ Celestia for years how y’all could really improve Equestria with a few common sense changes, an’ gettin’ nothin’ back but them form letters. Mebbe I should take things into mah own hooves...”

Before Applejack’s treasonous plans could go much further, a beige earth pony stallion with a blue-green mane and Shining Armour’s cutie mark trotted into the throne room. Princess Glittermane swooned into his strong, comforting hooves. “My wonderful husband has arrived!” she squeaked.

“Say, not bad,” Applejack murmured. “Yer onta somethin’ here, Twi.” The muscular stallion took Princess Glittermane’s hoof in his own and kissed it gently. Twilight’s clit began to wink uncontrollably.

“Darling, please!” Princess Glittermane blushed and gestured to the ponies from Equestria-prime. “We have guests!”

The phony Shining Armour lowered his hoof. “A thousand pardons, dearest, but I couldn’t take my eyes off of your beauty, even for a moment.” He forced his gaze away and bowed graciously to Twilight and Applejack. “Greetings, visitors. I’m Handsome Stallion, the king of the ponies.”

“Well, hello there.” Twilight bobbed her head back and forth, trying to sneak a peak between Handsome Stallion’s sturdy legs.

“Such a loving, caring husband!” Princess Glittermane and Handsome Stallion mashed their muzzles together passionately, making loud kissing noises, ignoring the two visitors.

“Hey, Twilight?” Applejack beckoned. “Twi, come here a sec.”

“Oh, thank goodness!” Twilight backed her heated plot against Applejack’s face. “Just a little one, please?”

“Ain’t interested in snackin’ on yer sugar cube right this minute, sugarcube. I got a question: where’s yer brother’s dong?”

Twilight snorted. Applejack had asked exactly the question she had in her own mind. “I don’t know,” she admitted.

“Hoo boy. You done it again, Twilight. ‘Slightly off-model,’ mah prize-winnin’ plot. Don’t need no incest laws when ya ain’t got no junk!”

Princess Glittermane clapped her front hooves together excitedly. “Now, foreign ponies, we simply must celebrate your arrival! I hereby summon my royal party planner, Pinkie Pie!”

Applejack perked up. “Uh, Pinkie what now?”

“Pinkie Pie!” Princess Glittermane called out.

“Pinkie Pie? The actual Pinkie Pie? Not somethin’ kinda similar, like Frostin’ Rose?”

With a flutter of wings, Pinkie Pie swooped into the palace, slid on the plastic floor and knocked over Princess Glittermane’s throne. “Hi, Twilight!” she squealed. “I was wondering when you’d show up! Ooh, Applejack’s here too! Group hug!”

“Pinkie, how did you get here?” Twilight wriggled out of Pinkie’s hug and sneezed a loose pink feather away from her itchy nose. “And why are you a pegasus?”

“I’ve always been here!” Pinkie Pie put one of her wings around the Princess’ shoulder. “Yep, me and Princess Glittermane go waaay back!”

“Indeed!” Princess Glittermane agreed.

“Much obliged, yer majesty, for introducin’ us.” Applejack tipped her hat to the earth pony princess. “Maybe we could have a lil’ chat in private with our friend?”

“Ooh, yeah, we’ve got so much to catch up on!” Pinkie Pie scratched her head. “Especially because I’ve never seen you before and I don’t know how I know you!”

“Indeed!” Princess Glittermane declared. She and Handsome Stallion trotted away from the throne room, leaving Applejack, Twilight and Pinkie to huddle and plan.

Twilight took out a notebook and quill. “Now, Pinkie, I’m going to start with some simple questions. Just remember, this is all for science, and not to gratify my own unspeakable sexual urges.”

“Oh goody, a personality quiz!” Pinkie happily danced from one hoof to another.

“First question: why in the flying fuck are you a pegasus?”

“Uh, cause I am?”

“I see... Second question: have you noticed anything unusual about the ponies in this universe?”

“Nope!” Pinkie Pie grinned broadly. “They love having tea parties, and I love planning tea parties, so we’re basically best friends!”

“Interesting.” Twilight scribbled away. “And do you think Princess Glittermane is ‘satisfied’ in her marriage?”

“Totally! They’re sooo in love! It’s super cute!”

“Pinkie,” Applejack cut in, “I’m gonna come out and say what we’re all thinkin’. How come Handsome Stallion ain’t got no dong?”

“I dunno!” Pinkie Pie shrugged. “What’s a dong?”

“Y’know, a ditch digger.”

Pinkie’s eyes rotated inside her head. “Huh?”

“A plowshare.”

“What?”

“A cornstalk.”

“Buh?”

“Y’know, a mare’s best friend.”

“That’s me! Pinkie Pie!”

“No, no.” Applejack waved a hoof dismissively. “I‘m talkin’ bout a stallion’s tree trunk.”

“Wha?”

“His flesh pitchfork.”

“Eww.”

“His fifth leg.”

“Ooh, I’d like to see that!”

“His dowsin’ rod for pussy!”

“What for what?”

“His... party cannon?” Applejack facehoofed. “Dang it, I’m outta words.”

“A penis!” Twilight burst out. “It’s called a penis!”

“Huh? What’s a penis?”

“Ya had three of ’em inside ya last night!” Applejack yelled.

“Oh, you mean linzer torte!” Pinkie smiled broadly at the delicious memory.

“For pony’s sake!” Twilight grimaced. “Pinkie, what was that ridiculous phrase your mother used when she was lecturing me about ‘family science?’ Oh, yes, the rod that calls a wife to obedience. You know, I can never tell if she’s super repressed or very kinky.”

“Why not both?” suggested Applejack.

“Rod that calls a wife to obedience...” Pinkie Pie mumbled. “Nope! Doesn’t ring a bell! Wait, I have a mother?”

“Twilight, I got this,” Applejack confidently assured her friend. “Sometimes a mystery’s like a rowdy hog. You gotta come up from the side and surprise ’er. Say, parallel pegasus Pinkie Pie, what do ya do when ya wanna have an orgasm?”

“Ooh-ooh-ooh! What’s an orgasm? Is it like a super tasty cupcake?”

Applejack scratched her head. “I suppose, if yer inta that, which we all know ya are.”

“Then I’d like an orgasm right right now, pretty please with sprinkles!” Pinkie grinned and silently met Applejack’s eyes with her own.

Applejack and Twilight shared a look. “Why not?” Twilight shrugged. “At least somepony will get off tonight.”

“Alright, Pinkie. Just turn around, lift yer butt, and I’ll show ya the ropes.”

“Oh, goody!” Pinkie turned and hiked her hips high. Her ass was pleasingly round, but between her legs the pegasus showed a featureless crotch without vulva or teats.

Applejack shook her head sadly. “This definitely ain’t our Pinkie Pie.”

“I never thought I’d miss having that thing shoved in my face,” Twilight agreed.

“Might as well give ’er a try.” Applejack leaned in with her muzzle and licked the curves between Pinkie’s hind legs while gently squeezing her squishy plot.

“Hee hee!” Pinkie giggled. “That tickles! Is this an orgasm?”

“Everypony in this universe is missing their fun bits!” Twilight complained. “How do they live?”

Applejack held up a hoof. “Say, Twi, do ya remember them plastic dolls Flim an’ Flam was sellin’?”

“Oh, don’t remind me. Those dolls were a choking hazard, and not the kind I prefer.”

“I’m just thinkin’, them dolls didn’t have no junk, bein’ dolls, and their cutie marks was way off. What if the folks in this universe is sorta like them dolls?”

“Fuck fucking fuck!” Twilight raged. “A doll universe! I’m officially out of ideas, Applejack! We’ve been through every spell book I can find, and each and every time, our plans have been foiled by some ironic twist! I give up! The Sorority for Fraternal Love is abolished! I’m going to die alone, and we’ll never know what it was like to screw our brothers!”

Applejack put a gentle hoof on Twilight’s shoulder. “Twi, ya ain‘t dyin’ alone,” she promised. “Ya can always shack up with me at Sweet Apple Acres. Fair warnin’, ya may have ta share me with Rainbow Dash.”

Pinkie Pie squeezed her bountiful, yet sexless body between the two depressed mares. “Ummm... why don’t you just ask them?”

Twilight looked at Pinkie through a curtain of tears. “Huh?”

“If there’s a fun activity you want to do with your brothers, why don’t you ask them and see if they want to do it too?”

Applejack stomped a hoof on the hollow plastic floor. “Twilight, refresh mah memory, have we tried just askin’ ’em?”

“Of course not, because of the social stigma around incest! We’d destroy our relationships and end up with nothing!”

“But don’t it usually happen this way?” asked Applejack. “We try a bunch o’ idjit ideas that backfire on us, but everythin’ works out once we finally decide ta be honest, like I suggested in the first place?”

“That does seem to be a pattern.” Twilight’s mood seemed to brighten. “I guess that’s it, then! Pinkie, I could kiss you!”

“Oh, that I know how to do!” Pinkie Pie mashed her muzzle against Twilight’s and made sloppy kissing noises, drooling profusely.

Applejack cocked her head. “Uh, Pinkie, maybe you’d like us to show ya how to kiss proper like? Instead o’... whatever it is ya think yer doin’?”

“No, thanks!” Pinkie chirped.

“Oh, Big Mac!”

“Eeyup.”

“Big Mac, Big Mac, oh, gosh, Big Mac!”

“Eeyup!”

With one final lunge Big Mac buried his huge cock into Applejack’s well practiced cunt. Her mind melted and reformed into a new shape, blissful without any worry or stress. Every stallion she’d taken before today was merely practice for this. Applejack lay helplessly on her back and trembled while her brother straddled her and claimed her as no other could.

Held firmly between Big Mac’s mighty legs, Applejack felt safe and secure, well taken care of and finally able to let her submissive side come out. Mac’s deep green eyes called Applejack to obedience, and she obeyed eagerly, lifting her lips to his as he forcefully fucked her.

Kneeling behind the pair, Sugar Belle smiled. She was so happy she’d married into such a loving family. She tickled her sister-in-law’s asshole with her tongue, then kissed up and around Big Mac’s bulging testicles as they bounced against Applejack’s muscular cheeks with tiny sprays of musky sweat. She loved to thank her husband for the powerful service the free-use stud never tired of providing to Ponyville’s happy mares.

“Shiny...”

“Twily...”

“It’s so good, so good, Shiny...”

“I love you so much, Twily...”

Shining Armour was nothing but gentle with his little sister as he mounted her from behind. Their lovemaking went slowly and carefully, as if the noisily humping couple next to them weren’t even there. The nuzzling, the magical stroking, back and forth, brought to life every fantasy Twilight Sparkle had dreamed from her books of love. Yet that tenderness was backed by incredible power. A royal cock, thick and potent. A cock that had already proven its ability to breed an alicorn. A cock that glided against Twilight’s clit with each bold advance and each breathtaking retreat, pushing the princess to climaxes of ever increasing power.

Princess Cadance gently held Shining Armour’s tail out of the way with her magic. She gripped one testicle firmly in her wet mouth, gently tonguing it, lightly nipping her husband whenever the pleasure of his sister’s tight young pussy threatened to overwhelm him. The Princess of Love knew how to get the most out of her stallion, and Twilight deserved his very best performance.

“How long did you say Twilight’s been playing these silly games?” Sugar Belle asked her.

Cadance let Shining’s apple sized nut swing free from her mouth. “Since high school,” she sighed, “but she really picked it up when she moved to Ponyville and discovered Applejack had the same ‘hobby.’ I told you they’d figure it out.”

Sugar Belle watched Shining Armour gently yet insistently bury his cock into his sister. Twilight moaned out in pleasure and a gush of orgasmic juices flooded the kissing crotches of the prince and princess, wetting their fur.

“That looks incredible,” Sugar Belle admitted. “Big Mac’s a wonderful lover, but he can be a little bit rough.”

“Oh, yes, my Shiny never disappoints.” Cadance planted a loving kiss on her husband’s quivering flank. “A perfect record of pleasing mares — under my guidance, of course.”

“Would you mind if we swapped sometime?”

“I thought you’d never ask.” Cadance smiled warmly. “After all, we’re practically family.”

Author's Note

Dedicated to those of us who used to make the dolls kiss.