Chapter 1 - Roseluck and Flight Camp
We all harbor grave memories. As ponies, our minds do well to forget, pushing down the bad to make room for the good. And, well . . .
I'm filled with bad memories. That's why I try not to let the past bubble to the surface—it'd only get worse, and I don't want to relive that nightmare. Yeah, yeah, I know things can't get much worse.
Why are you asking me, anyway? You were there for most of it. You remember, don't you?
. . .
Oh, I see. You wouldn't have known. Fine, I'll tell you. But only because it's you. I was just a filly, you know.
. . .
Yes, long ago. Let me try to recall how it all happened.
“I don't want my wings removed!”
“I'm sorry, Roseluck. It's the safest course of action.”
The raspberry-maned filly stared in disbelief within her hospital bed. “I'm a pegasus! You can't fly—you don't know how it is. I want to go to a pegasus hospital!” She winced as a quick jolt of pain shot through her bandaged wings.
“Please, don't strain yourself. You just woke up.” The earth pony doctor's calm, listless voice did little to soothe Roseluck. Casting a soft glance upon her, he sighed before slowly scanning his chart once more. “I understand how you feel, but you were born with this defect. It cannot be cured.”
“Then . . . then do something. Anything else.”
The doctor shook his head. “This disease is degenerative in nature. You may feel only discomfort and pain now, but as you get older, the muscles in your wings will deteriorate further. Letting this go would only make things worse, I'm afraid.”
Roseluck stared straight ahead, silent.
A quick series of beeps interrupted the moment, prompting the doctor to check his pager and frown. “I'll be right back, sweetheart. Get some rest. You've been through much already, it would seem.” Leaving the chart by the edge of the bed, he plodded out of the room.
Alone, the pale-yellow pegasus tried to hold still to keep from disturbing her wings. It had only been a few weeks since she had learned to fly. Having assumed that the steady, dull pain that came with flapping her wings was natural for a new flier, she ignored it and pushed ahead each time with a forced smile. Even her parents had not noticed.
Her parents.
“Mom?” Roseluck called out to no one in particular. “Dad? Where are you? Please . . .”
Unable to remember just how she ended up at the hospital, she nervously looked around before slowly climbing out of bed. She drew back a nearby curtain, half-expecting to see one of her parents, but found an empty bed. Biting her lip, she moved up to a window and looked outside. Dark remnants of last night's storm still hung in the sky. Roseluck suppressed a sudden urge to call for her parents out the window.
As she walked back to her bed, she noticed the chart at its edge. Sensing no one returning, she took a quick look, skimming the doctor's scrawling.
. . . wing muscle dystrophy . . .
. . . long-term issue . . .
. . . suspected since birth . . .
Her eyes wandered to the bottom of the page.
. . . cause isolated . . .
. . . wing amputation necessary . . .
. . . parents—
A pair of muffled voices in the hallway broke her concentration. Roseluck quickly scurried over to look out the glass pane of her door and noticed the doctor speaking with a mare nurse.
“. . . no, she isn't going to cooperate.” His deep, languid voice seemed to reverberate.
“That doesn't matter! Doctor Zealheart, you can't do this to a filly. Her body is still growing. With the right treatment, we can promote muscle restoration and repair her wings.”
“No. The procedure will occur as planned.”
The nurse's voice began to waver. “She is too young for this. Her parents would never allow it!”
Yeah, I said Zealheart.
. . .
Yeah, I know. Don't interrupt me.
“They aren't a problem anymore. I've made it my decision now, and those little pegasus wings are the perfect chance to advance my study—”
The nurse slapped Zealheart across the face, but he remained steady. A wan smile creeping across his lips, he walked closer, causing the nurse to step backward.
“My dear, let's have a word in my office.” He firmly led her out of sight.
Roseluck peered out the glass for another moment before dashing back over to her chart, reading its last line more carefully.
Patient's parents deceased and unable to give consent; experimental procedure authorized by Doctor Zealheart.
“Deceased?” she repeated softly. The sentence not yet set in her mind, she slowly recalled the previous night. She had been caught in an electrical storm, trapped and surrounded by charged clouds. Everything around her rumbled loudly, and lightning relentlessly tore through the air. For what seemed like hours, she cowered, too fearful to move, until she caught a glimpse of her parents in the distance, flying to her aid.
The last thing she remembered was an ear-splitting crackle and a flash of light.
Before she could process it all, she heard a single set of heavy, unhurried hoofsteps in the hallway. Ripping her chart from the clipboard and unwinding her bandages, she rushed to the window and opened it.
“You're not taking my wings,” she whispered to herself. “No one is taking my wings.” With one last glance toward the door, she vaulted outside and instantly took to the air. She ignored the burning pain now screaming through her wings and climbed ever higher into the sky, her sight of the earthbound hospital fading beneath layers of clouds.
Yes, that was me, like I said. Be patient and you'll understand.
I soared into the sky as fast as my wings could take me. I didn't care about the pain—I just wanted to get as far away as possible. I must have spent hours flying, perhaps even the greater part of the day, desperate to put distance between me and that earth pony hospital.
Exhausted, I collapsed atop the highest collection of clouds I could see. At the time, I didn't know where I was.
Frankly, I didn't care either.
One Week Later
The loud grumbling of her stomach no longer startled Roseluck. Whatever cloud city she found herself in for the past few days, it was certainly difficult to find free food.
As soon as she had arrived, she occupied herself with an admittedly fruitless search; however, every time she slowed down to rest, the prospect of being found stirred her to action once more.
She did not dare ask anypony else for help. In a way, she knew her anxiety was irrational. After all, none would recognize her this far away from home, and the doctor could not fly. Regardless, the memory of his slow hoofsteps, odd smile, and sinister words were enough to instill fear.
Enough days passed to convince Roseluck that she was better off scrounging for bits, and a few lucky finds brought her to look for more at a nearby flight camp. Ignoring the young fillies and colts practicing overhead, she kept her nose down.
“Hey!” called a young voice.
Roseluck ignored it and continued searching.
A rainbow-maned filly landed right in front of her, an eager smile across her face. “I said, 'hey!' Why aren't you flying with us?” She twisted her brow. “Did you lose something?”
Roseluck glanced up briefly but soon returned to her busywork.
“You're not from around here, are you?” The filly looked around. “Where are your parents?”
“Parents . . .” Roseluck slowly repeated. She turned her head up and saw several stands filled with adult ponies, each one cheering for their children floating above the field.
“Yeah. Uh, so . . . I'm Rainbow Dash. What's your name?”
She held still for a moment, taking a short breath and looking into the filly's eyes. “Roseluck,” she said. “My name is Roseluck.”
“That's a nice name. Come on, Roseluck! Let's fly!”
“No, I don't want to.”
Rainbow Dash giggled. “This is flight camp! You're supposed to fly.” She stepped toward Roseluck and gave her a soft nudge. “C'mon! It'll be fun!”
“I said 'no.' Now leave me alone!” Roseluck roughly pushed her away and ran off. Despite her best efforts, her legs were no match for Rainbow Dash's wings, and the cyan-colored filly caught up to her effortlessly.
“What's wrong? I just want to play!”
“Go away, Rainbow whatever-your-name-is!”
“It's Rainbow Dash!”
Roseluck slowed down, panting, her hunger-fueled fatigue having sapped her will to escape. “Fine, 'Dash,' whatever,” she said between gasps, “but unless you have food or bits, I . . . I can't . . .” Her stomach chimed in with a well-timed grumble. Roseluck looked down. “I'm so hungry.”
Rainbow Dash placed a hoof on her shoulder. “Come with me. I'll give you my lunch.”
You really couldn't tell, huh? Yeah, that was me.
Well, that's enough of reliving the past. The rest isn't important.
. . .
All right, all right! I'll tell you the rest. I figure I owe you after everything I've done. I have time to kill, anyway.
Well, I hid in the camp, as you know. It's not like I enjoyed it, given my wings. I didn't dare tell you about them. At the time, all I cared about was staying invisible. Staying away from Zealheart.
. . .
No, I didn't even know if he was searching for me. But, I was a frightened filly. I assumed the worst.
At least I had you.
One Week Later
With Rainbow Dash's help, Roseluck managed to blend in as a flight camp attendee. Food and shelter no longer an issue, she tried to understand exactly what had happened to her.
Her parents were gone, but she dared not cry—all she needed was the wrong pony asking the right questions, and she would be sent back to the hospital. Her wings were not any better. Staying grounded kept her pain to a minimum, but it seemed to become more and more difficult to maintain excuses not to fly.
The more she thought about her situation, the clearer it became; there was nothing she could do but take things one day at a time.
Rainbow Dash made sure each of those days was exciting—especially as her camp cabinmate. The two of them relaxed alone in their bunk beds, Roseluck reading, Rainbow Dash daydreaming, both waiting for dinner call.
“Hey, Roseluck!” Rainbow Dash called out excitedly.
No response.
“Hello? I'm talking to you.” Rainbow Dash, sitting on the top bunk, started rocking the bed.
“What? Hey!” Roseluck snapped to her senses. “Quit it, Rainbow—you'll make the bed fall on me.”
“That's not gonna happen. Besides, I had to do something to get your attention. You never respond to me.”
“I'm sorry. I'm still getting used to it.”
Rainbow Dash poked her head over the side of the bed, craning her neck to face her. “Used to what?”
“You know,” Roseluck continued, biting her lip, “all this. Flight camp.”
“Yeah, it's pretty cool, huh? You oughta fly more often,” she said with a smirk. “You really owe me, you know. This camp is hard enough to get into as it is.”
“Well, thanks. Now let me keep reading, please.”
“Okay, okay.” Rainbow Dash moved back up and lay down on her bed, but no sooner after shutting her eyes did she perk back up. “Wait, reading? Where'd you even find a book around here?”
Roseluck hesitated. “I stole it from the town library.”
With a giggle, Rainbow Dash jumped down and trotted over to the bottom bunk, trying to get a closer look. “I guess that'd make reading more exciting. What is this book, anyway?”
Roseluck mumbled something softly and leaned away, hiding the book's cover. Taking it as an invitation to roughhouse, Rainbow Dash grinned and jumped into the bed, grabbing the cover of the book with her teeth and wresting it out of her grip. Undaunted, Roseluck bit onto the other end and yanked back.
The two locked in a cover-to-cover tug-of-war, each one snarled louder with every pull. At last, the book slid out of both their mouths simultaneously, causing them to tumble backward and off the bed.
Before Roseluck could recover, Rainbow Dash jumped forward and grabbed the book. With a cocked brow, she slowly read the cover. “My Little Chemist: Beginner Potions. Hah, what is this?”
Roseluck wordlessly snatched the book back and faced the corner, blushing.
“Hey, I'm sorry,” said Rainbow Dash, scratching her neck. “I was just curious. I think it's cool, really! Is that your, um, special talent? Potions?”
Roseluck relaxed her tense posture but remained still. “I-I think. One day, maybe.”
“I usually don't like books and stuff, but potions sound like fun. Don't they have some that can make you fly really fast, or do cool tricks, or make you look awesome? I'd like one of those!” Rainbow Dash grinned sheepishly. “Can you make one for me?”
A slight smile crept along the edges of Roseluck's mouth as she slowly turned around. “You mean it? It's not stupid?”
“No way! It's totally awesome!”
Now fully beaming, Roseluck rushed into a hug with her friend. “Okay, Rainbow! I'll make you one someday.”
What'd you say?
. . .
Yeah, you're right. Even with my condition, those were good days. You were a great . . . well, my only friend. You helped me so much.
I would have done anything for you.
Later That Night
Roseluck awoke from her light slumber, opening her eyes to greet darkness. A quick glance at the starry sky outside the window confirmed that it was still much too early to get up.
“Rainbow, I can't sleep,” she said softly. Quietly rolling out of her lower bunk, she looked up but could not see her friend's familiar rainbow mane or tail spilling out of the covers. With a cautious hoof, she prodded Rainbow Dash's tangled blanket and found it empty.
After another cursory glance around the room, Roseluck walked out of the cloud cabin and looked for any sign of her friend. Squinting her eyes, she spied a group of ponies in the distance.
A group of ponies all surrounding one little rainbow-maned filly.
Roseluck broke into a sprint, zipping across the cloud field. It was difficult to see in the scant moonlight, but as she neared the group, she spotted Rainbow Dash in a defiant stance, quarreling with three young colts.
One colt stepped right up to her, his face only inches away from hers. “Face it, Rainbow. You lost.”
Rainbow Dash pushed him back. “I did not!” she yelled. “You cheated!”
Another colt behind her laughed. “Hey, it's not our fault you didn't know where the finish line was.”
“That's 'cause you moved it halfway through the race!”
The first colt grinned. “Who cares? We won. Now pay up.”
“Come and get it yourself!” she challenged.
The three colts edged closer to Rainbow Dash, who stiffened her stance and snarled. Before any of them could act, Roseluck grabbed one by the tail, yanking him back.
“Hey, what gives—”
“Leave her alone!” Roseluck narrowed her eyes at the three colts and stood tall. “I won't let you touch her!”
The first colt snorted. “Who the hay are you?”
Roseluck flashed a wicked grin. “I'm your worst nightmare, you little creep. You lay a single hoof on her and I'll tear your wings off. I'll find you when you're sleeping and rip them off with my teeth.”
The colts exchanged horrified looks, then slowly stepped backward as both Rainbow Dash and Roseluck marched toward them. Mere seconds later, the colts flew off erratically, nearly bumping into each other in their escape.
Rainbow Dash sighed in relief, then turned to Roseluck with a frown. “I could have handled it by myself.”
“Yeah, I know.” Roseluck walked up to her and nuzzled her cheek. “But I'd never leave you hanging.”
Rainbow Dash's concerned face melted into a smile. “You're such a great friend, Roseluck.”
“You too, Rainbow. Let's always be friends.”
I don't think those losers bothered you again while I was around.
. . .
Hah, yeah. I surprised myself too when I threatened to bite his wings off. What can I say? I read a lot of books as a filly.
You truly never realized that was me so long ago, huh? It's okay. Those days didn't last long, after all.
Two Days Later
It was the end of the week, and all young fillies and colts were expected to demonstrate what they had learned so far. Pony after pony vaulted off a cloud precipice to soar over the field, some performing minor stunts, others showing off their speed.
Roseluck was hoping to simply stay afloat.
Now second in line, waiting for her turn, she noticed the filly in front quivering, her legs buckling with each involuntary shake. Turning her head sideways, Roseluck frowned. “Are you okay?”
“Ah, i-it's nothing. I just hate Fridays.” The skinny, pink-maned filly continued her tremoring.
Roseluck shrugged.
The filly continued in a more timid voice. “I-I mean, I just don't like having to fly.” She took a wide-eyed look toward the long drop to the cloud field below. Upon noticing Roseluck's stare, the little filly cowered, but chanced a question. “Can you go f-first, please? Please . . .”
“But . . . I don't want to fly either.”
A loud voice boomed from a distant cloud. “Next!”
The frightened filly stood frozen.
“Let's go! Next! Who's holding up the line?”
Roseluck grit her teeth, then pushed her way to the front. The shy filly murmured something inaudible, but she paid it no mind as she jumped from the precipice and began to soar.
And soar she did.
“Whoa, check her out!”
“She's so graceful!”
“Who is that, again?”
For the first time in her life, Roseluck somehow flew without pain. With the feeling of the wind in her mane as she sailed through the air, she could not help but smile. She jetted across clouds at speeds that rivaled even Rainbow Dash, pushing herself to the limit and rising ever higher.
Reaching the apex of her flight, Roseluck began hovering and glanced downward at the cloud field below, her fellow fillies and colts all staring at her in amazement.
“I did it!” she called out. “I can really fly!”
Grinning widely, she rocketed toward the crowd in a flashy dive. During her descent, she felt a tingling sensation in her wings but pressed on.
As she picked up speed, the odd feeling graduated to slight numbness, causing her to falter. She tried to fan out her wings to slow her descent, but she found them increasingly unresponsive. Resolving herself to slow down at all costs, she forced them open as far as they could go, but all she received in return was a sharp bolt of pain that burned through her entire body.
The muscles in her wings frozen, Roseluck entered free fall.
The crowd of ponies gasped and screamed upon seeing her drop past the cloud field, her legs flailing as her body fell toward the earth.
My mind just shut down at that point. I fell unconscious. I don't know how I survived-
. . .
Oh, you remember the rest, now. Well, could you still listen? It helps. Telling the story, that is.
I just want somepony to hear it once.
Roseluck gradually regained consciousness. Her entire body felt heavy, her mind still hazy and groggy. Unable to comprehend for how long she was out, she started looking around.
The room's tiling and curtains seemed to suggest she was in a hospital. The steady beeping nearby certainly agreed with that.
In fact, she seemed to recognize the curtains. Even the window in the corner felt familiar to her. So did the glass-paned door to the room. And her hospital bed.
The bed to which she was strapped.
Now wide-eyed and breathing quickly, Roseluck thrashed against her bindings but could not break free. Rocking the bed did nothing.
It was only after she tried to scream that she realized she had also been gagged.
After a moment of panic, the glass-paned door opened and Doctor Zealheart trudged inside. “My, my. You're awake already. It wasn't easy to find you.”
Roseluck moaned something unintelligible.
With a crooked smile, Zealheart patted her on the head and peeled her gag back. “Your parents were worried sick, little one,” he said softly.
“My parents are d-dead, you liar!”
“Ah, you already know, do you? I suppose that makes things easier.”
“I don't want to be here!” cried Roseluck. “Let me go!” With renewed vigor, she twisted around in a desperate attempt to break free.
“Don't stress my precious wings now,” crooned Zealheart. “I have special plans for them.”
“They're my wings!”
“Oh, please, my little pegasus. I'm doing you a favor. After this quick snip-snip procedure, those lovely wings will never bother you again.”
Roseluck screamed, but Zealheart quickly replaced the gag. He held it forcefully in place with his hoof and leaned forward.
“Make this harder than it has to be, and I'll take more than just your wings. Now shut up!”
Roseluck responded with a whimper.
“That's a good pony. I think I'm going to give you a special present. Your favorite doctor will be right back with a very tasty medicine for you, so you can have some lovely dreams. When you wake up, this will all be over and you can go home.” Zealheart gently placed a hoof on one of her wings. “Yes . . . very soon.”
Watching him leave quietly, Roseluck waited until he turned the hallway corner before trying to escape once more. Although her bindings held her securely in place, she refused to stop, putting every ounce of her energy in her desperation.
After a minute of useless struggling, she began to cry, tears flowing as she continued her futile throes.
“Hey, Roseluck,” whispered a voice from across the room. Rainbow Dash's head poked through the window.
Roseluck tried to speak, yet she managed nothing but frantic, muffled sounds.
“I saw what happened. Keep quiet; I'll get you out.”
Rainbow Dash glided over to her bed and started unwinding her ties, occasionally using her teeth to rip off a few stubborn straps. As soon as she had a hoof free, Roseluck pulled off her gag and gasped. “That was horrible. Thank—”
“Not now! Let's get outta here!” she whispered harshly, rushing toward the window.
Roseluck nodded and climbed off the bed, scrambling to her legs. After a quick stretch of her wings, she followed her to the window and leaped outside.
The two ascended high into the sky, Rainbow Dash leading the way. Only adrenaline kept Roseluck in the air, her wings still weak and hurt. After a few minutes of straight flying, her pace dwindled.
“St-Stop, Rainbow.”
“What?”
“I can't keep going.” Roseluck stopped on a nearby cloud and panted. “I'm sorry, I just . . . I can't.”
“Hey, it's okay,” said Rainbow Dash, landing next to her. “We can take a break. We're almost back at flight camp.”
“No. I mean, I can't go back.” Roseluck turned away. “Listen. I don't have a home anymore. My family is . . .” she trailed off, pawing at the cloud beneath her. “Gone.”
Rainbow Dash stepped closer, wrapping a hoof around her. “Then I'll take care of you! I can find you food and stuff, and—”
“No, Rainbow.” Roseluck pushed her away. “I just can't stay here. That doctor will keep looking for me. I have to go far away.”
“Okay, so I'll come with you!”
“No! You can't. Just go back to camp alone.” After a silent moment, Roseluck gave her a hard shove. “Get out of here!”
Rainbow Dash stumbled backward. She watched solemnly as Roseluck, her face marked by strain and misery, took off and fluttered away. “Why?” she whispered to herself. “I thought we were friends . . .” Wiping a tear from her face, she waited until Roseluck was out of sight before drifting back to camp.
Chapter 2 - Rosewing and the Academy
I'm sorry it had to be like that, but I didn't have a choice. I wasn't going to let him find me again. Not him, not anypony. Even though I escaped, I spent every day in fear. I noticed posters of myself in every town, claiming I was lost.
I spent the rest of my childhood alone. Years of my life were squandered traveling from one city to the next, taking food and shelter wherever I could find it.
The only light in my life was my special talent: herbalism and medicine. And I knew my skill in potionmaking would be the secret to healing my wings. I spent my free time sneaking books out of libraries, trying to learn everything I could. Someday, I'd reach the answer.
With each passing year, I became smarter. Tougher. I felt that if I was going to make it on my own, I had to change my identity. I couldn't be Roseluck any more. I altered my appearance, using illusory elixirs to turn my coat lilac. I kept to myself, never talking to anypony for more than a moment. I was unrecognizable. Not even you could tell, it would seem.
Eventually, I ended up in Cloudsdale. Far from my origins, I hoped I could start from the beginning. That's when I adopted the name Rosewing—a new name for a new life.
. . .
Because I believed, with all my heart, that I would one day learn how to restore my wings. I guess it was my way of burying the past.
It wasn't until much later that we would meet again.
Several Years Later
“Mireling, no. Ashflower, no.” Rosewing flipped through the pages of a thick potionmaking text. “Here. Darkrose.”
She quickly scrawled a few notes on her pad.
“Clears pain, affects emotions . . .” She silently read the next words. Forbidden mixture.
A sudden pang of fear overtook Rosewing. She was already trespassing in this academy library, normally reserved for its students. Learning that her research was illegal filled her with alarm.
“But I need this. My wings need this,” she murmured to herself. Rosewing stared blankly at the recipe fragment on the page. “I don't have a choice.”
A loud voice snapped her out of her stupor. “Hey! I've never seen you before.” A rainbow-maned pegasus quickly flew over to her. “Are you studying for class? What's your name?”
Wide-eyed and open-mouthed, Rosewing suddenly recognized the now-teenage pegasus before her but could not risk telling her anything. She held still for a moment, taking a short breath and looking away. “Rosewing,” she lied. “My name is Rosewing.”
“That's a nice name. I'm Rainbow Dash! Fastest flier in all of Equestria!” The pony beamed at her. “So, Rosewing, are you new at the academy? I've never seen you in the library before.”
Rosewing shrugged. Noticing a small bruise under Rainbow Dash's left eye, she frowned and pointed it out. “What happened to you?”
The cyan pegasus softly rubbed her face. “Nothing. Flying accident. You know, it happens.”
“I'm sure.”
Shifting her eyes about, Rainbow Dash remarked, “So, uh, I like your cutie mark, by the way.” She flew behind Rosewing to get a closer look. The mark, a dark red rose, painted a stark contrast against her lilac body. “So, your special talent is, uh . . .”
“Herbalism. I'm skilled in mixing ingredients to make potions. This rose is a key ingredient in a . . . particular type of potion.”
“Oh, I see,” said Rainbow Dash. “So you're, like, a mixologist.”
Rosewing stifled a laugh. “No, Rainbow. A mixologist makes bar drinks. I make medicine.”
“Yeah, of course! I knew that.” Rainbow Dash nervously giggled. “I still don't get your cutie mark, though.”
“Then go find somepony else and figure them out instead.”
At that, Rainbow Dash cocked her head. She slowly stepped over to Rosewing's table and nudged one of her botany books open. “Actually, I've seen that rose before in class.”
Rosewing snapped the book shut, causing Rainbow Dash to wince. “Hooves off my books,” she said sternly. Upon seeing her stunned face, Rosewing added, “Please.”
“Okay, okay. Sorry.” Rainbow Dash took an awkward step backward, then suddenly perked up. “Hey, Headmaster Raine is here!”
“Headmaster Raine. You mean the headmaster of this academy?”
“Well, duh, you should know.”
Noticing the headmaster make her way to the table, Rosewing frantically started packing all of her materials into her saddlebag. Just as she reached out to grab her notebook, a hoof came down and held it in place.
With a sudden gasp, Rosewing flashed a toothy smile. “Hello, Headmaster!”
Her hoof still resting on the book, the headmaster leaned forward and peered into Rosewing's eyes. “I know all of my students. You are not one of them, young mare.”
Rosewing blinked at the headmaster for a moment, then held her head high. “Oh, naturally. I just transferred here.”
“My dear, we do not accept mid-year transfers.”
Rosewing bit her lip. She traded glances between the headmaster and all of the textbooks sprawled in front of her. “But, I—”
“Hmm, I remember this book.” Headmaster Raine brushed a hoof along the spine of a particularly heavy volume. “Ancient Equestrian Potionmaking. Took me a while to master Starswirl's approximation for use in chromatic augmentation.”
“Oh, I've . . . already used it.” Rosewing raised a foreleg and examined her lilac coat.
The headmaster softly chuckled. “I can see that. I can also see that you are dedicated to your studies. It's especially charming that you would sneak into my academy's library—a building most of my students tend to ignore.”
Rainbow Dash scowled. “Hey, I come here all the time!” Then, muttering under her breath, she added, “. . . maybe 'cause I've been assigned to study here, but . . .”
With raised eyebrows, Rosewing perked up, sensing her chance. “Headmaster Raine! Please, allow me to join the academy! I promise I will study hard and make you proud!”
Taking a moment to compose herself, the headmaster leaned forward and assumed a firm stance. “Young mare, where do you go to school?”
Rosewing said nothing.
“Why haven't your parents gotten you enrolled?”
Again, Rosewing remained silent.
“Young mare, come with me to my office.”
And that's how I joined the academy. Got my own dorm room and everything.
. . .
I'm not sure, exactly. I just didn't have answers for her when she asked about my life. My family. My home. I suppose that was enough. I didn't deserve it, though. She just pitied me.
. . .
I'm not saying I regret it. I don't. I learned a lot at the academy, and it gave me a safe place to live. I just wish I knew what I know now.
One Week Later
Fast at work at the desk in her room, Rosewing scrawled notes while mixing various pulverized ingredients. A beaker, already bubbling with liquid, rested above a small flame. Every so often, she peppered tiny measurements of different powders into the mixture.
Her makeshift lab wasn't the most practical option for potionmaking, but it was the only way she could work in secret.
“Last ingredient,” she whispered to herself. Gingerly lifting a still-whole darkrose petal with her teeth, she dropped it into the beaker, wincing as the liquid instantly frothed.
Allowing her concoction to rest for a few minutes, she took a deep breath and ruminated. She was lucky to be at the academy. Reliable shelter, food accommodations, the best education an Equestrian pegasus could ask for . . . Rosewing had many blessings to count. Regardless, at the moment, she cared for but one: access to rare potion reagents.
“Finally, it's done,” she again whispered. She was not one to talk to herself often, but given the darkrose recipe she was able to piece together, even she felt the urge to announce her success. As she approached the now-stable drink, Rosewing noticed herself trembling. Pausing to still her nerves, she took special care to notice the all-too-familiar pain in her wings. She focused on it, saturating her senses with the dull, pulsing sensation that kept her from flying freely.
She hoped it would be the last time.
With renewed composure, she picked up the glass, studied it for one final moment, then quickly drank the entirety of her darkrose potion in one swift motion.
To her surprise, it tasted somewhat pleasant. Her interest quickly shifted as she felt herself turn lightheaded. Finally, she was filled with excitement when she realized she could no longer feel the pain in her wings.
“Yes. Yes! It's gone! I did it!” sang Rosewing. She propped her window open and dove right out of her dorm room, unfurling her wings and soaring into the sky.
The wind in her mane, the absolute freedom of movement, the sight of everything below her . . . It was a flavor she had tasted only once before as a filly. She savored every second.
At last, Rosewing prevailed.
That was the best day of my life. Now that I think back, it affected me in many ways.
I suppose it's fair to say it eventually affected you, too.
One Week Later
“ . . . can be used to solve any number of problems in this form. However, the theorem will not work—”
The bell unceremoniously cut off the professor, signaling the class's students to start packing their books and strapping on their saddlebags.
“Class! Read chapter 5 on spell-based probability expansions. There will be a quiz! And, Miss Rosewing, stop by my desk.”
Rosewing unlatched her saddlebags and cantered up to the front of the class. “Yes, Professor?”
“Rosewing, dear, can you tell me what this is?” The professor pointed to a sheet of paper on her desk, laden with a variety of mathematical formulas.
Frowning, Rosewing peered at it closely. “Which . . . which one?”
“Any of them.”
The lilac pegasus stared at the page. Every so often, she opened her mouth to speak, then frowned once more and kept staring.
“Sweetheart, it's okay. I just want to understand what you've seen before.”
Rosewing took a nervous glance around the room and noticed a few stragglers still packing their things. “I d-don't, um, I don't understand any of this,” she whispered.
The professor smiled. “Don't worry. There's another student in the class who is having the same difficulty. I want you two to work together on some practice material outside of class. Okay?”
Rosewing swallowed hard, a lump in her throat. “Okay.”
“Here.” The professor slid a textbook toward Rosewing. “This introductory textbook covers the basics in the first chapter. You have a free period now, yes?”
Rosewing subtly nodded.
“Perfect. I've assigned your partner to study during this period. Go meet her at the library. Third floor.”
With one final nod and a whispered “thank you,” Rosewing slipped the book into her saddlebag and left the classroom. As she exited the building, she took to the air and headed for the library.
Taking a familiar path up to the third floor, she noticed it was mostly empty. A single, rainbow-maned pegasus sat in the corner.
Sensing her approach, Rainbow Dash hid her face behind her textbook, but she softened up when she recognized Rosewing. “Oh, whew. It's you.”
“Yes. Are you studying Incantative Algorithms?”
Rainbow Dash slunk down into her seat. “What? Uh, no, why would I?”
Rosewing shook her head. “Relax. I'm here to study, too.”
“Oh! Okay. Let's study together.” Rainbow Dash offered her a seat next to her. “I don't get why we have to learn this stuff. We can't even do magic!”
Rosewing shrugged, pulling out the professor's book. “It's still related to math.”
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes.
“Never mind. Let's start.”
The two worked their way through the first chapter, each one occasionally interrupting the other with questions. Halfway through the practice exercises, Rosewing sighed in relief—solving these problems with a partner, especially a familiar face, made this much easier.
“Well, look who we have here!” A voice across the room interrupted their study as a group of mares sauntered over.
Rainbow Dash rubbed the bruise underneath her eye, then turned to Rosewing. “I hate these ponies. Look, let's just go someplace else, okay?” She began to stuff materials into her saddlebags, but Rosewing placed her hoof on her shoulder to stop her.
“Excuse me,” said Rosewing, standing up from her seat, “can I help you?”
The head of the pack of mares smirked. “Yeah. Can you tell me what this is, loser?” She pulled out a familiar sheet of formulas and dangled it in front of Rosewing. “Oh, that's right, you can't!”
The group erupted in laughter, prompting Rainbow Dash to resume her packing silently. Rosewing instead narrowed her eyes and stepped right up to the mare. “Yeah. The homework is pretty tough. Maybe you should do it for me.”
Stunned for a moment, the mare scoffed. “What? Like I'd do—”
Rosewing flared her wings and tore into the mare, tackling her where she stood. As soon as the two hit the floor, she struck out with a quick series of jabs, landing a few good hits across her face.
“Stop! Please—”
But Rosewing did not stop. She kept laying into her, screaming something unintelligible while raining blows against her face and wings. After a few more brutal seconds, she stood up and craned her neck down toward the beaten mare. “Who's going to do my homework?” she taunted, smirking.
“I-I will! I'm sorry! I'll do it!”
Satisfied, Rosewing looked at the other ponies. Upon meeting her bloodshot glare, they all scurried in a panic. She then turned to Rainbow Dash, who had finished packing.
“I'm going to go, um, study by myself,” she said, hastily throwing on her saddlebags. “B-Bye, Rosewing.” Without another moment's hesitation, Rainbow Dash flew off.
The mare on the floor slowly got up and limped away, her wings injured too badly for flight.
Now alone in the room, Rosewing's proud grin faded. Her own wings throbbed with familiar pain, and she felt a rush of muddled emotions.
She looked down at her own hooves, scuffed by the fight, and cried.
I couldn't understand what happened right away. I felt this uncontrollable urge to release all of my frustration. It was like a powerful itch inside my head that I couldn't scratch.
I eventually realized why. My darkrose potion. It took my pain, but it also seemed to remove any inhibitions related to anger or jealousy. Every so often, my feelings would spike, and I'd lose myself. Then, some time later, the potion would wear off, my pain would return, and I'd realize what I'd done.
Do you know how it feels when your own body seems to act on its own, driven by raw emotion? Or how horrifying it is when you don't fight those urges and realize you want it to happen?
Do you know how desperate you would have to be to keep doing this to yourself, no matter how it hurt other ponies?
I do.
One Month Later
The weak mixture of late moonlight and early sunlight colored the horizon a sickly blue. Under these pallid skies, Rosewing flew silently across campus toward the academy greenhouse. As she landed before its doors, she dug through her saddlebag and pulled out a single vial of liquid, uncorking it and drinking its contents hastily.
With each passing day, she noticed her traditional darkrose potion became less effective, forcing her to take it much more often. Her late-night studies suggested the use of alternate ingredients to strengthen its effect, but most of them were particularly rare. Thankfully, the academy's greenhouse grew several of the flowers and herbs she would need.
Immediately upon entering, she detected a pair of voices within. Other ponies not worth her time, she ignored them and perused the pots and tables across the greenhouse, picking various plants and stowing them in her saddlebag.
“P-Please stop,” called a soft voice from behind. “You're not supposed to take those flowers.”
Rosewing turned around. A pale-yellow pegasus mare floated delicately in the air, her face wrinkled with worry. “Ugh. Leave me alone,” she stated firmly.
With a nervous sigh, the shy mare turned away at first, but then faced Rosewing once more. “N-No, I can't. Please, you're not supposed to—”
Rosewing zipped right up to her face. “You know what? I'm going to do whatever the hay I want. Now get out of here!”
From behind, another pony yanked on Rosewing's tail—she spun around to see Rainbow Dash snarling at her. “Leave Fluttershy alone!”
Rosewing laughed. “So, the timid little pony has a name. An appropriate one, even.” She turned to Fluttershy. “Get out before I rip the rest of these flowers out and stuff them down your throat.”
Bursting into tears, Fluttershy ran away, stumbling once before making it out of the greenhouse.
“That's it! I've had enough!” challenged Rainbow Dash. “There's something seriously wrong with you, Rosewing!”
“Get a grip, loser. You're just jealous.”
With a scoff, Rainbow Dash took an offensive stance. “No way! Ever since you joined the academy, you've been out to make others feel miserable!” She pawed at the floor with a growl. “Why? Tell me why!”
Rosewing grinned knowingly. “I'm gonna teach you a little lesson, Rainbow. It's either pick on others, or get picked on yourself. That's how it is.”
“That's . . . that's not true—”
Rosewing suddenly collapsed to the floor, clutching her head.
“H-Hey,” stammered Rainbow Dash. “What's with you?”
“It's nothing,” said Rosewing, slowly getting back up. “I'm fine.” She tried stretching her wings, and her familiar pain returned—her latest potion had worn off, restoring her to her senses.
“I don't get you, Rosewing.”
“There's nothing to get,” she responded. “I'm sorry. Just leave me alone and you'll be fine, okay?”
Rainbow Dash cocked her head.
“Look, I have to go,” continued Rosewing. “I really am sorry. Sometimes, I just react this way. But if you keep away from me . . .” she trailed off, wincing as her wings fought off another wave of pain. “If you keep away, I can't hurt you.” She limped toward the exit, picking up speed as her body recovered from its last shock.
“Hey, wait!”
Wings folded at her sides, Rosewing galloped out of the greenhouse, following the cloud trail back to her dorm room. Cautiously, Rainbow Dash followed her, maintaining her distance. Just outside the dorm building, Rosewing looked behind her and spotted the rainbow-maned pegasus.
“Stop following me!” she yelled.
“I live here too, you know!”
Rosewing ran inside and retreated to her room, locking the door behind her.
Still outside, Rainbow Dash glided to the side of the dorm building, peeking inside Rosewing's window. It was too difficult to see much in the darkness within, but she could hear crying. “Hey,” she spoke softly, tapping on the glass, “let me in. I wanna talk.”
Rosewing, lying on all fours in the middle of her room, faced away from the window and casually waved her away.
Squinting, Rainbow Dash grimaced and pulled the window open. “Look, I'm not gonna make fun of you or anything, okay?” Not waiting for a response, she slid through the window and landed carefully next to her.
Without moving her body, Rosewing turned her neck to look at her old friend. Tears ran down her face. “I can't stand it, Rainbow. It's so hard to live like this.”
Rainbow Dash threw her hooves in the air. “Then stop! You don't have to be a bully to everypony.”
“I d-don't want to,” she replied between sobs. “I can't control myself.”
“Yes, you can! You just—”
“No! No, I can't!” Rosewing turned away once more, sinking her face into her hooves. “It's m-my wings,” she whimpered. “I wish you knew the truth, but even you would not believe me.”
Rainbow Dash extended her hoof to pull her up. “Try me.”
With a long, shuddering sigh, Rosewing took hold and stood back up. “Fine. I'll show you.” She faced Rainbow Dash and fanned out her wings. “Tell me what you see.”
“This is silly. I see your . . .” Rainbow Dash trailed off as she inspected her carefully. The inner parts of her wings were deformed. In place of healthy muscle were shriveled masses of sinew, warped and disjointed. Her feeble wings began to tremble—even holding them open proved difficult. After a pensive moment, Rainbow Dash whispered, “I'm so sorry. What happened to them?”
Folding her wings with a measure of relief, Rosewing looked into her eyes. “I was born like this, and it's gotten worse every year. There is no cure.”
“But, you can fly, right? I've seen you fly.”
“Because of this.” Rosewing calmly walked over to a nearby desk drawer and pulled out a vial of dark red liquid. “As long as I keep drinking these all day, I have the strength to fly. It dulls the pain.”
Rainbow Dash inspected the potion carefully. “All day? Drugs aren't allowed on campus. Where did you even get this?”
“I made it. I made all of these.” She opened the drawer all the way, revealing a set of strangely-colored potions. “They're all a little different. My body gets used to them, so they don't last very long. My latest one worked for only a few minutes. I need to keep mixing new types.”
After seeing the array of bottles and flasks within, Rainbow Dash gasped softly. “That's what you were doing at the library when we first met. Researching all this. And this book . . .” She walked up to her desk, eyeing her copy of Ancient Equestrian Potionmaking.
Rosewing looked away. “Go ahead. You have a right to know. Page 372.”
Rainbow Dash said nothing as she flipped through the pages, picking up haste as she continued. At last, she stopped and silently read.
Darkrose
A member of the genus Rosa, darkrose keeps thorns which are cleverly folded. Without careful scrutiny, its stems appear smooth. This species is nicknamed “bloodrose” because of the red appearance of its nectar, the striking hue of its petals, and the ease with which its thorns draw blood.
Despite its beauty, darkrose has few benevolent and practical uses. Most recipes calling for darkrose invoke powerful illusory or hallucinatory effects. Some experimental procedures use its petals as a strong painkiller. Taken in excess, darkrose has been shown to cause sudden shifts in behavior. Studies suggest . . .
Rainbow Dash's eyes wandered from the textbook paragraph to the margins, where hasty scrawling filled all empty space.
Combinatorial effects:
Dulls pain
Causes energy spikes
Generates illusions
Impairs short-term memory
Alters personality
. . .
Near the bottom of the list, the writing became less intelligible.
. . .
Compatible ingredients rare
Creates dependency
Removes inhibitions
Waning effect?
Officially untested
A hoof softly nudged Rainbow Dash away from the book. “You see?” said Rosewing. “Darkrose does nothing good. It hurts. It deceives. And it's the cutie mark nature gave me.” She slowly closed the book and tucked it away. “But my own special talent helped me get it one way or another. So if this is what I get, then this is who I am.”
“And when you mix this rose into your potions . . .”
Rosewing sank back down to the floor. “Rainbow, these darkrose potions are riddled with side effects. I can't find a stable formula. Sometimes they make me feel angry or jealous. At best, I'm confident, maybe arrogant. At worst, I get violent. My emotions change with each potion.”
Rainbow Dash shivered lightly. She felt conflicted, unsure of how to react. “This is wrong. You can't keep doing this. It's hurting others!”
Exhaling loudly, Rosewing unfurled a single wing and pointed at it. “I don't have a choice, Rainbow! I can't live without my wings. How would you feel if you could never fly again, starting right now?”
Rainbow Dash shot her a horrified look. “I would . . . I wouldn't be able to handle it.” She paused for a moment as a tear trickled down her cheek. “I wouldn't be able to live with myself.”
“Then, you see why.” Rosewing suddenly moved right up to her, staring deeply. “Don't tell the others. Please. I've never shown my wings to anypony. I can't have them know!”
“I-I won't. But, I don't get it. Why are you telling me all this?”
Rosewing froze. After a moment's hesitation, she replied. “You're the only pony that would understand. You're just so lucky, you know.” Her voice began to crack. “You have beautiful, strong wings, Rainbow. And everypony loves you. You have so many friends. My wings . . . what I have can't be considered wings. And I have nopony in my life.”
Rainbow Dash quickly embraced her, holding her tightly. “Don't say things like that! I'll be your friend, Rosewing. Together we can figure something out.”
“It's too hard,” she cried, burying her face in Rainbow Dash's mane. “I can't do this alone anymore.”
“You don't have to. I'll help you.”
Rosewing sobbed freely. “Are you s-sure? You won't ab-abandon me?”
Rainbow Dash wrapped her wings around her and shushed her softly. “Never. I promise.”
I used to think I was the victim, but I made a lot of bad decisions at the academy. Worst of all, I dragged you into it.
. . .
No, I didn't mean it like that. If it wasn't for you, I'm not sure I would have made it. I just wish you didn't have to suffer because of my shortcomings.
Most of all, I wish I had the courage to tell you who I really was.
Things grew dire in the coming months. I became increasingly resistant to my potions and had to continue mixing different kinds of medicine, but the rare materials I needed were proving difficult to find. Regardless, I wasn't about to give up.
In my search for a few of the more valuable herbs required, I learned of an apothecary at the outskirts of Cloudsdale. Run by a single pharmacist, the store was advertised as home to any kind of alchemical reagent.
I did not expect that to be so literal.
One Week Later
“Hello? Is anypony there?”
An earth pony with a surgical mask calmly walked up to the counter, giving Rosewing a curious look. “You'll have to excuse me,” he spoke softly, “I was just wrapping up some . . . administrative work. Now, what can I do for you, miss?”
She placed a sheet of paper on the counter. “The following materials, please.”
The masked pharmacist scanned the list carefully. “You must be quite passionate about medicine, young mare. Some of these are quite rare and potent.” Walking over to a nearby cabinet, he began to retrieve her order.
Raising an eyebrow, Rosewing remarked, “It's odd to see an earth pony in Cloudsdale.”
“Indeed,” said the pharmacist as he placed a vial on the counter and returned to the cabinet. “For various reasons, I am . . . unable to find work down below.” Pausing for a moment, he studied her wings. “Are you all right, dear? You're carrying your wings quite awkwardly for a pegasus.”
“I'm just fine.”
“And your coat seems to lack a certain natural sheen.”
Rosewing grumbled. “Please, if you would. I'd like to hurry home.”
“Of course,” said the pharmacist, nodding. “Now, I will need your name to fill this order.”
“Rosewing.”
With smiling eyes, he motioned toward the back room. “Very well, Rosewing. Follow me to the storeroom.”
She entered without hesitation and was immediately stunned by the sight. A seemingly endless array of shelves lined each wall, filled with reagents of all kinds. From the mundane to the arcane, the pharmacist's stores were as advertised.
“Incredible!” she said, beaming. “You keep intact Mireling? Oh, you even have Ripweave mushrooms; those are nearly impossible to find!”
“Oh, yes,” said the pharmacist. “In my many years, I've been able to gather many valuable ingredients.”
“You even keep Heart's Desire. That takes an entire year—”
“. . . an entire year to bloom, yes.” The pharmacist walked into the room and quietly closed the door behind him.
A few odd items caught Rosewing's eye in the corner. Curious, she stepped further in, turning wide-eyed as she identified what she found.
A bottle filled with unicorn horns.
Bundles of pegasus wing feathers.
A glass case of organs floating in a bright green liquid.
Two large jars, each holding a preserved pony head: one mare, one stallion.
“What . . . what is this?” she whispered.
The sound of the back door locking caused her to turn around.
The pharmacist took slow, careful steps toward Rosewing. Then, with narrowed eyes, he pushed her against the wall and held her tightly.
“I was so close, you worthless runt. I had my own little pegasus filly . . . no more parents . . . a rare disease . . . ready to experiment on. You cost me my grant with that little stunt you pulled. My study depended on you and your freak wings!”
Rosewing gasped. “Zealheart!”
The pharmacist removed his mask and chortled.
“How could you—”
Zealheart sharply slapped Rosewing across the face. “Shut up! I lost my license when you ran off because I was responsible! I'm no longer a doctor, thanks to you.”
“S-So you can't operate on me anymore! Just let me go!”
He laughed. “Oh, no. No, no, no. I'm going to finish what I started, one way or another.” He roughly pinned a wing underneath his hoof, pressing down with all his weight while eyeing Rosewing with a cockeyed glare. “I'll begin the procedure by tearing your wings off with my own bare hooves. This may hurt a bit, sweetheart.”
“No, stop! Rainbow! Somepony—”
Pressing a forehoof onto her lips to silence her, Zealheart released her wing and gently stroked her cheek with a twisted smile. “My poor, little patient. I have no anesthetic left. I suppose I'll have to improvise.”
Rosewing tried to twist away, but she was unable to move. No matter how she flailed her legs, Zealheart kept her pinned. She looked on in horror as he raised his hoof over her head.
“It's a shame, really. After I'm done with you, I can't let you live. But, worry not, little pegasus.” Zealheart glanced at the two preserved pony heads. “I will put your body to good use in the name of science.”
“No!” Rosewing flapped her wings violently, brushing them against the shelves on the wall and knocking down an assortment of bottles. As they shattered on the floor, Zealheart flinched—and Rosewing took the opportunity to push him back and slither away.
Scrambling to her legs, she ran for the nearby window. Just as she leaped for its opening, Zealheart vaulted forward and took hold of her rear legs. By instinct, she flapped her wings once again and glided right through the window, Zealheart in tow.
Floating outside over cloudless skies, Rosewing strained to keep aloft as Zealheart hung onto her. Through searing, blinding agony, she desperately tried to break his hold. “Get . . . get off!” she cried.
Wordlessly, he reached upward and sank his teeth into her right wing.
Now screaming in pain, Rosewing lost control and spiraled toward the ground. As the two of them fell, she shut her eyes tightly.
Zealheart looked down at the approaching earth and let loose a sadistic laugh, releasing her wing. “You're going to die, you crippled, flightless pegasus. The same way your parents did!”
“No!” she called out. “I can . . . still . . . fly!” With her final word, Rosewing released a guttural shriek and bucked her hind legs, striking Zealheart directly in his chest and knocking him away. She managed to regain control of her flight and hover still, long enough to see Zealheart plummet.
Her body shivered as she heard a dull thud. With a stony glare, she spat toward the ground.
That was the end of my nightmare. I had nothing to fear any longer. But, even though Zealheart was gone, my childhood life would never return.
I came back to my hometown to find my childhood house occupied by another family. I tried to learn more about my parents, perhaps visit their graves, but their records had mysteriously vanished.
That damn Zealheart. Death was too good for him.
. . .
I'm fine, now. Don't worry. I've since found a new home in Ponyville. I'm starting over. I'll be moving there in a few days.
Look, if I didn't say so before, I'm sorry. You've done so much for me. You're even here now, and it means so much.
Well, time's up. I wish we could talk more, but I have to go in.
. . .
I know, but I don't have a choice. It's too late for regular treatment, and I can't live like this forever. At least I can carry on without pain once they're gone.
You'll still come down and visit me after it's done, right?
