Fluttershy envied the trees. They were big, and strong, and didn't let the world get to them.
She wished she could be a tree.
Leaving her quaint little cottage behind, she made her way down the path that led into Ponyville. She made her way into town, passing other ponies and waving hello as they greeted her.
Just like she often would, she went about Ponyville as she set on completing the various errands she had on her plate. However, this time it was different because today happened to be her son's birthday. And her only objective was to make this day absolutely perfect for her little boy.
Her first stop was the toy store, where she could get her child a gift. Wandering down the aisles, she perused the selection of items they had on offer, trying to decide what he would like best. Eventually, she settled on a small model train, with a green paint job and golden wheels.
Feeling content that he would like the toy, she took it and made her way up to the register, where the cashier promptly rang her up. Paying for her item, she thanked him as she placed the train in a bag she had slung around her neck, before heading for the exit.
Now that she had a gift for her son, her next stop was Suger Cube Corner, to pick up a cake for him.
Stepping out through the door, she was greeted with a nice blast of fresh air as she came back out into the open. Turning in the direction of her next destination, she started making her way through Ponyville
Trotting through town, Fluttershy was enamored by how nice out it was. As she admired the sunny day, she noticed a father walking with his two foals. They were playing as they moved along, the kids laughing as their father made funny faces.
Fluttershy smiled softly as she observed their interaction, a warm feeling blooming in her chest. But, as she continued to watch them, that warm feeling slipped away, leaving a hollowness in its wake. As the kids continued to play, she felt a longing begin tugging at her heart, and her eyes started to water slightly.
Before it could get any worse, she quickly turned her head, getting those kids out of her vision. As she used a hoof to wipe away the moisture collecting around her eyes, she caught sight of a tree alongside the road.
Fluttershy envied the trees. They were big, and strong, and didn't let the world get to them.
She wished she could be a tree.
Doing her best to clear her head, she hurried on towards her destination, leaving the scene of her episode behind.
Arriving at Suger Cube Corner, Fluttershy pushed through the main entrance, a bell ringing to announce her presence. As she stepped into the shop, the scent of pastry and other confectionary treats filled her nose; if she hadn't come here for a reason, she might have been tempted to indulge in some.
Ignoring the sweet smells, she made her way up to the counter and rang the bell that rested there. Almost immediately, Pinkie Pie's head shot up from the other side, moving so fast she almost seemed to blink into existence.
"Hiya there, Fluttershy! Can I help you with something?" Asked the bubbly pink mare.
"Um, yes," Fluttershy began in her soft voice. "I'm here to pick up an order."
"Oki Doki Loki," Pinkie smiled in reply. "Just one sec." With that, she quickly whizzed away to the back, where she could be heard rummaging about. It was only a few seconds later that she reemerged, bouncing over with a small box perched on her back.
"Thank you," Fluttershy said with gratitude.
"No problem," Pinkie waved her off as she set the box on the counter.
Pulling the package towards her, Fluttershy lifted up the flap to check that everything was all right with the cake. The dessert inside wasn't that large, just big enough for about two ponies. It was lightly decorated, covered in simple blue frosting, with orange trim around the edges. And in the center, spelled out in white icing were the words 'Happy Birthday Soft Rain.'
Fluttershy let a shuddering sigh escape her body, trying to keep herself from shaking as she looked at the cake. As the meek pegasus stood there, Pinkie looked down at the frosting-covered treat, and when she saw the words that were written upon it, her mane deflated, ever so slightly.
"You- you doing okay, Flutters?" Pinkie asked, a note of concern and sympathy in her voice.
Fluttershy nodded, which was a feat, considering how her skull felt as heavy as lead. "I'm fine," she managed out. Whether or not she actually meant it, she wasn't entirely sure.
"O-okay, if you say so," Pinkie said, decidedly unsure herself.
Reaching into her bag, she pulled out the bits for the cake and presented them to Pinkie. "Thank you," Fluttershy said again as she took the cake and placed it on her back. Turning around, she made for the door, leaving the pink mare behind.
"T-take care, okay?" Pinkie said in a wavering voice as she left.
Trees. Fluttershy thought, picturing the majestic giants as she tried to calm her mind.
Trees.
Fluttershy envied the trees. They were big, and strong, and didn't let the world get to them.
She wished she could be a tree.
After Fluttershy left Suger Cube Corner, she last picked up a bouquet of flowers from the floral shop before she began the trek back home. As she followed the path, however, she took a detour at a fork in the road, leaving her cottage behind as she went elsewhere.
Moving down this new path, she soon came upon a small clearing, in the center of which housed a massive tree. It towered above her like a giant, its thick canopy blocking out much of the sunlight. From one of its many branches hung a single swing, on which a pony could enjoy the beauty of the world around them as they relaxed.
The tree and the area around it were breathtaking, a picturesque scene that looked like it was captured by a professional photographer. Normally, she would be content with sitting at the swing and watching as the birds flittered through the branches, but that was then. Now though, this place held far too many memories, to the point where they threatened to consume her from the weight of the emotions this spot carried.
Yes, this area was beautiful. But, it wasn't the tree or the swing that had captured Fluttershy's attention, but rather...
...the small gravestone that rested not far from its base.
Tentatively, Fluttershy approached the grave, her movements feeling sluggish with every step. "H-happy birthday, Soft Rain," she choked out, her voice feeling heavy.
"I got you some things," she said, her voice quieter than usual. Removing the cake and bouquet from her back, she set them in front of the grave as she took a sitting position on the ground. "I got you some pretty flowers, as well as a birthday cake -. don't worry, I made sure to get your favorite, chocolate.
I also got you a present," Fluttershy spoke, rummaging through her bag and pulling out the toy. She felt her eyes watering as she set it down with the other items. "I- I thought you would enjoy it," she sniffed. "Y-you always liked trains..."
She could no longer keep it together after that. All at once, she broke down into a blubbering mess, heavy sobs forcing their way up her throat as tears poured freely from her eyes. She couldn't help it, the pain was just too great, the result of a massive hole in her heart.
Through her tears, she looked up at the tree, remembering all the time she'd spent with him here. This had been his favorite spot, he loved coming here to relax and play. She remembered all the times they would spend under these branches, all the evenings they would sit on the swing together. He would often fall asleep as it got late, leaving her to carry him home, where she would tuck him into bed and give him a kiss.
Things seemed so perfect back then, every day she spent with her son was the happiest she'd ever been, and she didn't think anything could ruin it...
...But then... He got sick...
The day that he passed, a part of her died with him. She was wracked with grief and wept for hours, to the point where her tear ducts all but dried up. For the next several weeks and months, she shut herself in her cottage, oftentimes struggling to find the will to get out of bed in the morning.
Her friends and family would come over constantly to check on her, offering their condolences and sympathies. And while she appreciated their kind gestures, nothing they said could take away her pain.
Nothing they said could bring back her baby.
Life continued on after that, and while the hurt she felt never went away, it did become easier to manage as time went on.
Eventually, her heart was able to heal enough that the pain wasn't crippling, soon being able to take control of her life again.
However, there was still one thing that proved to be a challenge for her going forward. It was when his birthday rolled around. What had once been the single happiest day of her life, was now nothing more than a painful reminder of what she'd lost. That day took a toll on her, nearly bringing her to as low a point as she had been when Soft Rain died.
Since then, his birthday had always been a challenge for her, and while she was usually able to manage it now - it always brought back painful memories.
It hurt so much. That hole in her heart that cried for her baby, but could never be filled; she hated this pain and wished that it could go away.
In her tearful state, she looked up at the tree that her son had loved so much.
Oh, how she envied it. Trees were so big, and strong, and didn't let the world get to them. They didn't know the sense of loss, didn't know pain, didn't know the feeling of losing a child.
She wished she could be a tree.
As she sat there in her tear-rattled state, the sound of approaching hooves nearly fell on deaf ears to her.
"Fluttershy?"
Upon hearing her name, the meek yellow pegasus twisted her body around toward the speaker. Wiping the tears from her eyes, she was able to make out the forms of Twilight and her other friends.
"Twilight, what are you doing here?" she asked through a sniff.
"We came to check on you. Pinkie told us about what happened at Suger Cube Corner," Twilight responded. "How are you doing?"
"I'm fine," she replied with a rough voice. "I'm... just visiting Soft Rain."
"I know how hard this day is for you," Twilight said. "Would you like some company?"
Fluttershy nodded.
Wordlessly, the others came and sat down with their friend, with Twilight and Applejack on either side of Fluttershy. Now that the others were here, she felt some of the pressure start to relieve itself, but it still hurt.
Applejack put a comforting hoof on her shoulder, a sympathetic look on her face. "It's all right, sugercube, we're here fer ya."
In response, the only thing Fluttershy could do was collapse into her friend's embrace; bawling her feelings out, Fluttershy continued to shed tears as Applejack wrapped her legs around her.
"I want him back!" she cried as AJ patted her back. "I want him back! I want my baby back!"
As she sobbed into Applejack's coat, the others could only watch in despair, their own eyes tearing up as they beheld the state their friend was in.
Applejack gently rubbed Fluttershy's back, doing her best to comfort the pegasus. "It's not fair!" she cried. "It should have been me! He still had his whole life ahead of him!"
"It's going to be okay, Fluttershy," Twilight said. "You're going to get through this."
Fluttershy broke from Applejack's embrace, turning to face Twilight with teary eyes. "How do you know that?"
"Because you've done it before," Twilight replied in kind. "I remember a time when you shut yourself up in your cottage, unable to face the world. You're strong, Fluttershy, you're going to make it through this, and we'll be by your side the whole time!"
After Twilight's encouraging words, Fluttershy wiped the tears from her eyes, getting control of her emotions. "Thank you, Twilight," she sniffed. "That means a lot."
"It's no problem, Fluttershy. I know that you're going through a tough time right now, but we're your friends, and we'll be right here if you need us.
"Yeah." All the others said in unison.
Fluttershy smiled, feeling grateful to her friends for the support they offered. The pain she felt from losing her son would never truly go away, but with the support from her friends, she knew could get it through.
And even though he was gone, Soft Rain would always live on in her heart.
