It’s been 2 years since Suzzane died.

About 5 years ago, she began ageing rapidly and within less than 3 years, she pretty much withered away before my eyes. The last month was the hardest part of my life, being unable to help her, besides taking care of her. Merely a year before it all started, I used to joke about her youthful look and energy, while I was slowly turning into an old man. Suddenly, it was the other way around. First she could barely jump like she used to, then run, then walk, and eventually, barely stand up. It was very quick after that, thank God, because I could not watch her suffer any longer. I guess that it was the price for a sped up youth: 55 years, instead of the promised 60 to 70.
It happened overnight: Suzzane told me the day before that she knew her time would come very soon and we spent most of it talking about the good old times. It’s partly thanks to that, that I was able to put together all of this with so much detail.
She fell asleep on my lap that night and never woke up. There was a soft smile on her face in the morning, I thought that she’d open her eyes and greet me but it never happened. Never again did I hear her voice outside of my head.

…

I gave her body to the flames, instead of letting it rot in the ground and be a food for the worms. Her ashes, I scattered around some of her favourite places, such as the alley that we used to go for walks or the forest around Sasha's hotel. I even went to Tuscany for one of the last stops.
I guess it was not just for her but for myself as well, so I could see all of that one more time, pretending she was still with me.
These silly scribbles about our past are what has been keeping me company instead of her, after I returned from my last trip. While reminiscing about how we’ve met, all the little troubles we endured together, it was taking me back and made me feel less alone. However, as soon as I stopped writing, I felt even more lonely than before.
It was like a drug, with horrible withdrawals. A drug which I could not stop taking over and over again. As if once I was finished writing it down all, I could somehow bring her back. After I was finally done with the diaries, I realised that there was nothing left for me besides reading it over and over again.
I know it was selfish but I just couldn’t let her go. An ordinary man like me did not deserve an angel like her in the first place, so I should have felt lucky to have been able to spend my life alongside hers. Yet, I haven’t. I only felt heartbreak.

It must have been the Lord's mercy that one sunny day, I had the idea to go for a stroll all by myself. I ended up sitting down on a bench by a lake with this beautiful willow tree and suddenly, I felt free. Free and grateful. I couldn’t grasp it at first but then I realised that it was acceptance. And with the acceptance, I could feel God’s presence. All that time, through which I thought I was alone, I never was.
That’s why eventually I turned to Him, He who was the only one who could successfully fill the hole in my life. He, who sent one of his angels my way in the first place and allowed us to spend together not just this life, but also those Suzzane kept mentioning; Ones I could not remember.
It wasn’t literally from day to day but nowadays, I finally feel gratitude instead of sorrow when I remember my Suzzane. And… even though I’ve finally come to accept that she is gone, I still took it as a deliverance when I was told that I’m also dying.
Heart cancer. Supposedly it is really rare but to be honest, I don’t find it that much surprising. It’s been hurting me so much after my little pony was gone, that not even my newfound faith could uproot what had been sown in it over those long months of grief. Why should it after all, if everything really is a part of his plan. I suppose that I’ve been given this time to realise just this.
After my first collapse, I was diagnosed with a few weeks, months at best, which was enough for me to close up all my matters and say goodbye to everyone I still had in my life. My sister, her children, all my friends from our travels, Lucy…
I’d just like to declare that I am not afraid of death in the slightest. I look forward to seeing my darling once more and to meeting in person the one behind the curtains. Most importantly, I wish to thank him for all the blessings I was given.

I feel my time will come soon enough as well, that’s why I wrote this last bit of text for whoever might find all the previous chapters, so that they’d know how it ended.

So I guess that’s it, I-

* * *

That was it. I was done; all out of words. I was tired, so I closed my eyes. I was so very tired. I had put my pen down one last time, and set the journal aside for the last time. I let my mind wander as I could feel sleep's deep calm begin to overtake me.

The door to my room opened, but I kept my eyes closed. After hearing some light footsteps, I could feel a weight beside me on the bed. I took a slow breath and without thinking, let a single word escape my lips, “Suzzane..?”

The weight shifted as I could feel it moving to lay on top of me. It was warm and soft, comforting. “I’ve missed you, Anon,” said a familiar voice, gently in my ear.

When I opened my eyes. I was still in my room and not at the same time. The colours looked different, brighter and more vivid. My room wasn’t the most important thing though: She was there, as beautiful as the day we fell in love; more than that, actually. It was as if she was emanating light from within and her wings were now fully developed and majestic.

“Come on, Anon. Let’s go home, together,” said Suzzane and reached her hoof towards my hand. When she picked it up though, I could see it twice: One that she was holding and one that stayed laying on the blanket.

With a soft pull and a reassuring smile, she helped me up from the bed and I realised that my body no longer hurt. How could it after all? It was still laying on the same spot I left it. I gave good old Anon merely one last glance before the shining pegasus took off straight through the roof with me and above my house; Above the city and the entire country.

Suzzane smiled at me once more before we’d dive straight into the light up above.

I wasn’t scared at all. I was ready.

Author's Note

The definitive end.

I considered I might write another "book" with filler stories from the travels of Anon and Suzzane but I'd yet have to find some inspiration. Can't say if it was them who inspired me or if they were inspired by my own ambitions but I wish to travel more as well.
I took Camino del Norte this year and hope to do more walking in the future. With luck, a muse might smile on me and give me some ideas of what kind of adventures could've those two experienced.

Can't give any promises yet though. You never know what life will bring you, be it good or bad. We could have WW3 next year and all of this might lost in time. Like tears in the rain.
That or I get hit by bus. Or, I finally get a gf and move on from the waifufaggotry.

Anyway, thanks again to all the readers for sticking through till the end and I wish you all to find hapiness both in life and in death. I'd say both are equally important. Toodles!

Slight edit: I added a little post epilogue just to make it explicitly clear that this was not the end :) The ride never ends you know.