Villainous Shopping

by Eventide100

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Comedy, King Sombra, Queen Chrysalis
Length: 1692

Chrysalis and King Sombra go shopping

Noticing that they've run out of necessary items, Chrysalis and King Sombra disguise themselves and go shopping. Sombra only wants to get the job done. Chrysalis, on the other hand, won't bother leaving without the most important things on the shopping list... makeup, fancy clothes, and jewelry!!

Edit: featured for a bit. 04/23/2023 thank you!!!

Published 2023-04-22 16:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2023-04-22 16:30:01 UTC

The most important things

Chrysalis was viewing herself in the mirror. She had to make sure her disguise was as unnoticeable as possible. She went through several options but in the end, went with a disguise she had used before. Now, her hair was a reddish-orange, not green. Her eyes, however, were still green. The only thing different was that the pupils weren't slits anymore. They were round. For her outfit, she had donned a brown coat, blue jeans, and a hat.

Plus sunglasses!

She must never forget sunglasses.

Chrysalis looked herself over a few times and then turned to her handbag. Once settling it on her shoulder, she exited the room. She hoped Sombra was ready as well.

Turns out. He was.

She found him standing at the exit already. He was wearing a black sweater and black jeans. Chrysalis got the impression he loved the colour black. She wondered what he would look like in the colour pink. Probably ridiculous. Yet she couldn't help but laugh privately at the thought.

He glanced up when he noticed her coming. His mouth set into a straight line. "There you are. Thank goodness you're done with whatever you were doing. I fail to understand why you would take that long while only getting ready."

Chrysalis stuck her tongue out at him. "You will always be a boring fool. Also, I can take as long as I want." She then proceeded to stick her nose in the air and walk right past him with an aura of noble-like snobbishness. Though, to Chrysalis, she didn't give a damn about the way she was acting. She is Queen Chrysalis. Nobody orders her around.

Sombra huffed and followed her. They made their way out of the layer they lived in. Sombra, irritating as ever, asked, "Did you bring everything? If you find you've forgotten something by the time we get there, I will not hesitate to smack you square across the head."

Chrysalis scowled, whirled around, and thrust her arms forward, shoving the shadowy king backwards. He barely saved himself by grasping onto a nearby branch in time. Then it was his turn to scowl at her. "Watch that!" he barked. "What's the matter with you? I was only checking so we won't have to run back and tire ourselves. If we do, you're the one to take the blame."

"I'm not an idiot!" Chrysalis snapped. "you're talking to me as if I'm a child who doesn't have a clue what the word responsibility means."

Sombra righted himself. He straightened out his sleeves while saying, "Explain how you lost your own kingdom then. Explain why you're a queen whose subjects ditched her without question and obtained a new leader. That leader being a traitor of your once-had subjects."

Chrysalis staggered for a minute at the unwanted reminder of her kingdom's fate. But then she snapped to anger immediately after. "And how about you!" she countered. "You didn't have a kingdom at all. You call yourself king through a dictatorship. And when you tried to conquer a kingdom that isn't even yours, first you failed the two sisters, and then you failed those troublesome..."

Sombra shot her a warning look before she could continue her rant, effectively shutting her up. "Technically," he growled. "The first time, as you said, it took two powerful princesses to beat me. Not to mention I actually held one and then the other off temporarily during our battle. In the end, it was their combined power plus those accursed elements to banish me. The second time I attacked, Twilight's friends were practically useless most of the time. None of them aside from Twilight could get past the traps and illusions I placed in the empire a thousand years ago. She made her way to the blasted heart but got trapped. Therefore she sent her little friend instead. She won only by a matter of timing and good luck."

Chrysalis opened her mouth to respond but ultimately failed to come up with a good comeback. That's what Chrysalis mostly hated about Sombra. He was annoyingly smart. So she said, "Let's just continue with our shopping."

The nearest place to their layer was Manehattan. Sombra complained he didn't like the crowded, bustling nature of the urban place. He spoke of how much Equestria has changed over the years of his prison time. During his time, people had no clue what the word city even meant.

Currently, Chrysalis and Sombra were standing before a mall. It was a huge, strangely beautiful building. There were some designs on the outside that looked like they were made out of glass.

Chrysalis squared her shoulders and adjusted her sunglasses. "We're here, so let's go in." She was curious about how the mall might look on the inside. Considering the amazing architecture on the exterior, no doubt the interior was also just as exquisite.

Sombra sighed. "Yes, yes. Let us go in," he grumbled.

Chrysalis patted his shoulder with a smug look on her face. "It's alright, sweetheart. You're going to have to face it, no matter what. Besides, an idiot like you deserves that much pressure." Her voice carried mocking joy. She was plenty thrilled to see the normally confident man look uncharacteristically nervous.

Sombra shot her a dark glare. It took Chrysalis all her willpower to not flinch. "But we're not staying here for too long. We're simply going to get all the things we need and then we will get the hell out of here."

He stormed on inside before Chrysalis could say anything. She then rolled her eyes and trailed after him.

They did get most of the things they need.

Food? Check! Water? Check! Some other useful devices? Check!

Sombra counted all their items, then turned to his checklist. "It appears we have everything we require," he said. "That means we can pay and leave this annoying place." He picked up the basket they were using and went toward the cashier.

Chrysalis's eyes widened. They couldn't leave yet!

She rushed forward and stepped into Sombra's path. "Wait!" she shrieked. "We can't leave yet! We haven't gotten everything we need." She grabbed onto Sombra's shoulder.

Sombra raised an eyebrow. Though there was another look that flashed in his eyes. "What do you mean? We have everything on the list."

Chrysalis narrowed her eyes. Her hand lunged forward and snatched the shopping list. "What do you mean, we have everything?" She unfurled the scroll and pointed to the items written somewhere near the bottom.

Makeup supplies

Dresses

Necklaces

Earrings

Rings

Bracelets

"We didn't get this stuff, didn't we?" she hissed.

Sombra pulled at his hair in frustration. "Ugghhh, we don't need that nonsense," he growled.

Chrysalis gasped. How could he say that? "Nonsense!?" she parroted. "It isn't nonsense! They're the most important items on the list. A queen needs her beauty supplies. Even Cozy Glow likes them."

She tightened her grip on his shoulder and dragged him down the hall. Sombra slapped his hand on his head and muttered something about girls. Chrysalis didn't care. She simply pulled him along with her until they were in the ally that contained all the fashion-related stuff. Chrysalis felt her veins buzzing with excitement when she took in the things on the shelves.

They were the things she needs.

She made Sombra sit on a bench by one of the shelves. He had this very angry look on his face. "Don't spend too long," he said. "You don't need that stuff to live."

"I very much do need it to live, thank you," she shot back. "All you have to do is sit here and be a loser while I explore some of..." she spun around and flourished her arms. "These babies," she chirped happily.

"You're a priss," Sombra spat, a heated look of hatred bright in his eyes.

Chrysalis ignored him. She went toward the first shelf and picked up a perfume bottle. "Ooohhh," she cooed while examining the fancy glass bottle. "It's got a rose scent and has a pretty design. I want it." She placed it in her basket.

As she began scrutinizing more and more things, she occasionally caught Sombra rolling his eyes in the background. Mostly when she started talking to the item as if it were a live being. Chrysalis got so many thing, the basket became too heavy for her to lift. So she told Sombra to hold it. Obviously, he told her "Like hell, I'll hold your stupid stuff for you." Chrysalis simply annoyed him until he relented just for the sake of some peace.

Currently, there were five gift bags on his left arm and six on his right arm. In his hands he held four boxes. Three contained makeup things while the last one had a pair of high heels. Chrysalis rather enjoyed hearing him let out an irritated curse every once a minute.

This went on for a little while.

The queen felt as happy as can be. She finally finished gathering all the things she needs. That took approximately forty minutes. She leisurely walked on with noticeable grace.

Sombra on the other hand, wasn't fairing so well.

His arms and hands were full. He walked carefully, trying his best to not drop the things. Even if he complained that he very much wanted to straight up burn them. Chrysalis told him that if he dared do that, she will turn into Twilight Sparkle and give him imitated friendship speeches the whole way home. Poor Sombra didn't wish to face that unfortunate fate, so he simply seethed quietly behind the bratty queen.

"How much money did that take?" Chrysalis asked.

Sombra scowled at her. "Every bit we had, you nitwit."

Chrysalis made an excellent impression of not revealing the slightest shred of shame. She waved her hand at him dismissively. "Who cares. We can always steal more bits. My beauty supplies are necessary."

Author's Note

I loved writing this. I think it's currently the fic I had the most fun writing.