Rainbow Dash meets Large Marge

by HumanSVD

Rating: teen
Tags: Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Horror, Crossover, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Death, Human
Length: 2066

Rainbow Dash hitchhikes in the new human lands, but quickly regrets it.

Nothing scares Rainbow Dash, at least that's what she says. After a new continent in Equis is discovered to be the lost homeland of the mythical humans, she decides to explore it for herself. She's quickly bored and writes off most humans she meets but gets a rude awaking when Large Marge, a legendary Truck Driver, picks her up on a road at night. She quickly regrets it...

Rated Teen for mentions of Death, and the scariest thing you ever seen. Random story idea, not to be taken seriously. Technically a Pee-Wee's Playhouse Crossover but not really.

Edit: Featured April 22nd 2023?! Thanks!

Published 2023-04-21 23:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2023-04-21 23:20:01 UTC

The scariest story you'd ever seen...

Rainbow Dash was very tired, and to make matters worse, the night was very dark. So dark, in fact, that it was so unsafe to even fly. The night fog was extremely thick and made it dangerous to navigate. To make matters worse, the trees were unusually tall, with high winds blowing above the tree line. The last thing she needed was an accident like Ditzy “Derpy” Hooves. The silver lining to her predicament was that the thick trees shielded her from the winds, and the paved road she had found was brand new. This meant human vehicles were likely to come across her path.

The cyan pegasus sighed in frustration and felt the weight of her saddlebags shift on her sides. She readjusted herself and lamented out loud, “Great going, Rainbow Dash, can’t fly, and you’re lost. If you hadn’t dropped that bucking map, you’d be at a hotel already! Great, just great.”

Before Rainbow Dash could continue to regret her solo adventure trip to the newly discovered Human Country, two bright lights began illuminating. Turning her head around, the mare saw the lights were indeed that of a vehicle and continued at a steady pace. The mare sighed in relief and started waiving her forelegs on the side of the road. She yelled out, “Hey! I need a ride!”

The lights continued their pace, and this worried the mare. The driver appeared to have no intentions of stopping. Rainbow Dash started to panic and shouted, “Please give me a ride! I promise I won’t rob you!”

”Bad thing to say! Don’t say that! Now that human won’t give you a ride!”

The mare continued to shout and plead as the vehicle, called an 18-Wheeler by humans, showed no signs of slowing down. With a final cry of “Please!” the truck somehow, despite its large size, came to an abrupt halt. The tires made no screeching sound on the road, no groans of metal moving, and no sign of the momentum shaking the truck. Even on Rainbow Dash’s best days, she always had some remaining momentum to cause her to move forward whenever she stopped running or flying.

”Okay, that’s freaky and weird, but whatever. No more walking on this creepy road.”

The truck’s engine idled as the passenger door slowly opened and revealed a single woman in the driver’s seat. She was old, around her late 60s, and wore a red plaid shirt not too dissimilar from what Applejack wore occasionally. The lady was also somewhat obese and had very scary eyes. They bordered on Nightmare Night-level eyes and gave her the creeps. Despite being uneasy, she figured it was better than traveling on the road. Rainbow Dash refused to take her chances running into Timberwolves or some other human land animal at night.

Forcing a smile, Rainbow Dash said, “Hii...I’m Rainbow Dash and I need a ride. Can you take me to the nearest hotel? I got Bits! That’s good enough for human money...right?”

The lady said nothing but continued to stare at the mare. Taking a big gulp, Rainbow Dash put away her Bits and said, “Okay...I’m just gonna climb in the seat then...”

The stranger truck driver woman said nothing but made no move to stop her. It was as if the woman was simply waiting patiently for the mare to hop in. She had no idea why the woman was creepy, but Rainbow Dash figured the trucker woman was simply tired and in no mood for small talk. After getting in the seat and sitting on her haunches, the pegasus mare closed the door and buckled in her seat belt. Her saddle bags were still strapped to her, but she was comfortable enough.

The woman put the shift stick into gear and began moving the truck forward. Rainbow Dash quickly looked around the truck’s cabin as the woman stepped on the gas. There was nothing out of the ordinary, and the truck looked as if it was worn but still going strong. A strange, burnt smell, almost like that of bacon, made Rainbow Dash uncomfortable. The humans were omnivores, but many ate meat more than she thought necessary. Not all humans were overly consuming meat, but it was always awkward seeing humans eat meat whenever she was in a diner.

As 5 minutes passed, the woman continued to stare forward and was completely focused on the road. Taking quick glances at the trucker woman, the mare noticed the lady never blinked. Not once did the woman do anything that any human, pony, or creature would do. It was as if she were on autopilot, and memories of movies she saw back home kicked in. Rainbow Dash started to panic, thinking, ”Oh, buck! Am I gonna get murdered?! Of all the humans I could have met, why did I get the creepy, evil one?!”

While she began to sweat bullets, the pegasus mare attempted to break the awkward silence by nervously saying, “So...nice night, huh? Been busy traveling the highways? Or this road? Eheheh.”

The trucker lady, surprisingly, began to converse with the cyan pegasus mare and replied in a creepy tone, “On this very night...10 years ago...in a dense fog, just like this...”

”Okay, I’m officially riding into freaky town, and this cray-cray lady is driving me there. By harmony, please get me outta here!”

Rainbow Dash’s heartbeat began to kick up a notch as the woman continued, “I saw the worst accident I ever seen.”

Rainbow Dash wiped the sweat from her head with her forelegs and asked, “Accident, huh? That bad? Like the “worst you’d ever seen? Good thing you’re driving and not me. I’d probably try to break the record because I’m awesome, you know.”

Her attempt at dark humor did not affect the woman, who continued to be creepy with her story.

“There was this sound, like a garbage truck...dropped off the Empire State Building...” said the woman.

The cyan mare was almost in a full-blown panic and tried her best to remain cool. She saw that the woman’s face became more animated, with her eyes growing wider as she told the story. It was almost as if she was getting a kick out of it, and Rainbow Dash almost wondered if the lady was pranking her for fun. The mare had to admit, the story had its effect, and she hoped the woman would say, “Gotcha!” or “Funny story, eh?”.

There was no such luck as the woman continued with the engine’s noise picking up, “And when they finally pulled the driver’s body...from the twisted, burning...wreck...”

”Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh! I’m going to die; I’m going to die! I wanna go home!”

Time almost slowed for Rainbow Dash as the woman continued her story, her voice and tone picking up in intensity. What happened next would forever put a scar on the pegasus mare’s mind. The woman said, “And it looked like...THIS!”

”BOOOOWAHHAHAHAHAHA!”

Rainbow Dash could do nothing but scream in fear and slightly peed herself. And just like that, the scary face that came from the woman disappeared. The mare couldn’t comprehend if what she saw was real or if she was simply tired and delusional. After she finished screaming, the mare continued to shake in fear. The woman continued her story and finished by saying, “Yes, Ma’am...it was the worst accident I ever seen.”

A dinner, gas station, and, more importantly, a hotel was seen in the distance ahead as if right on time. Rainbow Dash thanked her lucky horseshoes and said, “I’m getting off there!”

”GET ME THE BUCK OUTTA HERE!”

The mare was worried the woman would ignore her request, but she pulled the truck over. Once again, the truck stopped as if it simply froze, as if physics didn’t bother trying to work. Rainbow Dash got out as fast as she could and said, “Thanks for the ride!”.

Happy to have fresh air and out of that truck, Rainbow Dash checked to ensure she didn’t leave anything in the truck. Happy that she didn’t, the mare attempted to walk away from the woman’s truck, but the creepy trucker said, “Be sure to tell them Large Marge sent ya! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!”

As the woman laughed and drove off, Rainbow Dash was at a complete loss as to what had happened. After a minute of staring at the truck, which eventually disappeared down the road, the mare stomped the ground in frustration and said, “Bucking woman! She was totally pranking me...And made me pee on my haunches! AAAUUGGHH!”

Rainbow Dash was grateful for two things: being alive and her friends not here to see her embarrassment. The prank she had just suffered officially topped any prank she had ever received, including Pinkie Pie and Gilda’s pranks. Rainbow Dash hoped the diner made a salad or a BLT sandwich without the bacon. She could even go for waffles or pancakes if they had them. The mare quickly ran into the dinner and cleaned herself in the bathroom. Satisfied she was clean and dry, the mare walked to a booth and sat down. A nice, young teenage waitress girl walked over with a menu and said, “Evenin’! Welcome to The Hot Plate! We got plenty of non-meat options for a pony. Take your time; would you like something to drink?”

The waitress girl was a nice country girl, and it reminded Rainbow Dash of her best friend. The mare smiled and was happy that humans and ponies did have similarities to overcome the differences. Rainbow Dash felt guilty for having a negative opinion of humans and realized ponies had many shortcomings. As an Element of Harmony, she refused to let bad apples cast a shadow over good people.

”Still don’t like that jerk lady called Large Marge, though.”

Rainbow Dash replied, “A decaf coffee, an order of ranch salad, and pancakes for my meal. I want something simple.”

The girl wrote everything down and said with a cheery tone, “No problem! I’m surprised to see a pony here. We don’t get many visitors at this stop, only human Truckers and Campers. Hope our country has made you feel welcome.”

Rainbow Dash replied, “Yes and no; I had a bad experience with a trucker named Large Marge. She was a jerk, but I’m not judging all of you guys because of her. She wanted me to say that she sent me. Whatever that means.”

The entire dinner froze in silence as if Rainbow Dash said a taboo. The cook, manager, and other patrons sitting at the bar stopped talking and stared at her. The waitress was now staring at her, shocked at what Rainbow Dash had just said. The mare realized all eyes were on her, and she once again said, “Umm...did I say something wrong?”

A strong, buff, middle-aged farmer-looking man got up from his seat and walked over to the mare. While Rainbow Dash knew how to fight, she doubted she could take on the big man. He was probably the closest human equivalent to Big Macintosh she’d ever seen, and nopony messed with Big Macintosh. He stopped at the table and asked, “Did you say, Large Marge?”

With sweat bullets forming around her head again, the mare said, “Yes...why? What about her? She gave me a ride and scared my flanks off!”

The man looked at the waitress before saying, “Ma’am, that’s impossible.”

Rainbow Dash was now getting frustrated and asked, “Why? She just dropped me off.”

Another farmer across the aisle got out of his seat and said, “On a night just like this, 10 years ago...there was an accident. Tonight’s the anniversary. The worst accident I’d ever seen in my trucking career.”

Rainbow Dash started shaking again in her seat and asked, “But that means the Large Marge I was riding with was...was...”

”Oh, buck no! Please don’t say it! No non no!”

As if on cue, all humans, including the nice waitress, said, “HER GHOST!”

Rainbow Dash screamed out loud, hearing the news she traveled with a ghost. That meant the face she witnessed was real and would be imprinted into her brain forever.

It was the scariest thing she’d ever seen.

Author's Note

Came across the Large Marge scene on youtube and just had to write this. I make no apologies, lol.