Like I Don't Exist (Anymore)

by SilverNotes

Rating: teen
Tags: Equestria Girls, Horror, Violence, Wallflower Blush, Alternate Universe, Pony of Shadows
Length: 2229

"Dear Diary, I made a new friend today. His name is Stygian."

The contents of a journal, recovered from the home of Wallflower Blush. One of few items found relatively undamaged at the location. Several pages are missing, but a few key entries remain, almost as if they were spared intentionally.

Copies have been made of the entries, and the original is being sent to our friends on the other side of the portal, where they can contain it and scan it for any dark magic. We need to make sure that this doesn't happen again.

Written on commission, for Moproblems Moharmoney, with money sent to a GoFundMe. If you'd like to commission me yourself, my rules are right here.
Check out the audio reading by Rain_Flick3r!
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Published 2023-04-24 18:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2023-04-24 18:00:01 UTC

Right Beside My Shadow

Dear Diary,

Good news! I finally got permission to start a gardening club at school!

The paperwork had gotten lost in the shuffle, but once I reminded Principal Celestia about it, she went looking for it and signed it the moment she found it. She was really apologetic for letting it go so long, but I'm just glad that it's done, now. Every time I've walked past that spot, I've imagined how beautiful it'd look with a little work, and now I can finally get started.

Recruiting for the club scares me a bit, but there's no need to do things all at once. I'll start setting up the garden itself and, with luck, people will start approaching me, instead, asking about it. That'd be a lot less daunting than walking up to other students and trying to convince them to join.

I wonder if Sandalwood would like to? We're in a couple of classes together, and planting greenery seems like something he and the other Eco-Kids would be behind. Or he might want to grow some fresh vegetables. If we could get that kind of thing going, maybe the cooking club would be able to use the fresh ingredients. Though he might be too busy with his tree-planting initiatives to go for it.

Fluttershy seems like she may like it too. It's a very quiet, peaceful hobby, and she seems like she'd make a very nice, low-key club member. She does volunteer a lot, though, so she might not have time either.

Roseluck would probably jump at the chance to grow some flowers. Or maybe she's so sick of her family's flower shop that she doesn't want to handle plants at school too.

Well, I'm sure there's someone who wants to join. I can't be the only student in the entire school who likes to garden, right?

Dear Diary,

I think I'm the only student in the entire school who likes to garden.

No one seems have noticed the efforts I've been making at all. I've watched students walk right by, talking to each other or buried in their phones, and it's like the entire garden doesn't exist. Sure, it's nice to work without interruptions, but it'd also be nice to have a helping hand or two in tending the plants.

I tried putting up posters, but everyone's walking right past those too. A few of them were even papered over by other posters when I saw them next. As if the people advertising their own clubs and events didn't even see they were there.

I tried approaching a few people I thought may be a nice fit, but I choked. I'm not going to repeat in here how badly I flubbed my approaches, because I just want to forget I ever said any of it. But safe to say that I'm not going to be able to look any of them in the eye after that, let alone expect them to want to be in a club with me.

I guess it's just going to be me and the plants.

Dear Diary,

I made a new friend today. His name is Stygian.

There's been all kinds of supernatural things going on at Canterlot High, but I never thought I'd end up directly encountering any of it myself. That kind of thing happens to the super-smart genius students, or mysterious transfer students, or... just anyone who seems more protagonist-y than me.

I should rewind and explain. I was digging in the school garden, like usual, when I found something. A stone. It looked kind of oily, the colours shifting around in black, despite it being completely dry to the touch. And as soon as I touched it, a voice started speaking.

Stygian is from that other world. The one where all the magic stuff keeps coming from. The first thing he did when I touched the stone was call out for his friends, thinking one of them may have come to save him and bring him home.

We talked the whole time I was working back there, weeding and planting. Even after I put the stone in my backpack, his voice came through loud and clear. I guess the touch was just what he needed to wake up, not what he needs to speak to me.

I know, I know, freaky talking rock, I really shouldn't be so calm about it. But he just seemed so lonely. He has no idea how much time has passed, he just knows he's spent all of it trapped. Given that the stone was buried underground, it's probably been a long time.

I feel like I understand, a little.

Dear Diary,

I have a date! And it's all thanks to Stygian.

He convinced me to try talking to the Eco-Kids again about joining the club, so I tried approaching Sweet Leaves. I hadn't asked her directly before, I just got skittish about approaching the whole group after I flubbed talking to Sandalwood so badly and figured I'd get laughed at.

She didn't laugh. In fact, I don't think Sandalwood told her anything, because I had to introduce myself before getting to the club talk. But I was so nervous I started stumbling over my words again, so Stygian offered to do the talking for me. I didn't know what he meant, but I would have done anything to get out of the situation, so I said yes.

And suddenly he was just... talking. Through me. I felt like I could maybe push him out, stop the words if I really wanted to, but I didn't. By the time he was done, she'd not only agreed to join the club, I had her number!

I'm still reeling. No one's ever done that, just offered me their number. No one's looked at me like she did. I thought that I was just too plain-looking for a handsome guy or pretty girl to give me the time of day but... maybe what people say about confidence being attractive are right?

I'm so nervous about actually going out with her anywhere, but if I make sure to bring Stygian with me, I'm sure he can coach me through it.

Dear Diary,

I nearly got mugged today. I'm still shaking.

Sweet Leaves and I went to the mall. I thought it would be a nice, casual kind of date. Check out some shops, eat at the food court, maybe catch a movie at the theatre. I kept Stygian's stone in my pocket, just in case, but he didn't need to talk for me again. He just gave me some pointers, some encouragement, and I navigated things pretty well on my own.

It was after that, that the problem came. The parking lot had been full when we arrived, so we parked pretty far away from the building, but after the movie it was a lot emptier. And darker. A guy came at us, loud and threatening and seeing two teenage girls as an easy target.

Stygian didn't ask this time. He just took over and... it was like the darkness around us came alive. Shadows sprang up, grabbed the guy, and threw him.

Sweet looked scared afterward. Scared from the near-mugging, but also of me. I hardly think that's fair. After all, there's been a lot of magic going on at CHS. Some shadow powers isn't as high on the weirdness scale as Sunset Shimmer turning into a demon.

If you ask me, Sunset only ever changed back physically, but I seem to be the only one who still sees how self-absorbed she is.

I'm home now, and I'm safe. I'm going to tend to the houseplants once I'm done writing in here. That always calms me down.

As scary as it was, though, it felt good to turn the tables on that guy.

Look out, Sunset, you and your friends aren't the only ones with superpowers at school anymore.

Dear Diary,

I'm so angry.

Sunset Shimmer tried to talk to me today. She walked right up to me, and called me by name as if she knew me, and she acted all concerned. Said she'd heard about the mugging, and she wanted to make sure I was okay.

That's rich. We met in ninth grade and we're even both on the same Yearbook Committee, and she hasn't said two words to me or acknowledged my existence. I'm invisible to her, always have been, but now that I have magic she suddenly pretends like she gives a care about me.

I guess now I'm a potential threat, huh? Since that's how she operates. Sure, she put on a big lightshow when those three girls from the other world showed up and tried to put everyone at each other's throats, but that doesn't mean she's a good person now. She was probably just trying to defend her territory. Anyone with any magic either ends up part of her friend group or ousted in a blast of rainbow power.

I didn't want to play her games, and I told her so. I called her out, right there in the hall, for everyone to hear. And it felt good. Everyone was looking at us, looking at me, and she was so stunned by someone who wouldn't dance to her tune that it shut her right up.

I'm still shaking, but it's a good shaking. I stood up to her. Me. Quiet little Wallflower. And she'll never forget that.

Sweet hasn't called me since the mall date.

I bet she's the one who told Sunset.

Fine, she can be that way. There's plenty of other girls who'll fall all over themselves to go out with me once they know I'm looking.

I don't remember any of today.

When I went to school, I spotted Sunset with her little posse of friends. I remember thinking about how ridiculous it was that her own victims were now crowding around her like a bunch of groupies around a celebrity. At least Twilight is a new transfer and wouldn't have seen her when she was behaving at her worst, but the others should all know better.

I remember thinking about having to go to the Yearbook Committee meeting today and how much I didn't want to be either ignored or subjected to more of her fake concern. And then suddenly it was the evening, and I was home, like the entire school day had happened in an eye blink.

Stygian told me he'd handled everything for me, but before, when he took over, I could feel him doing it, and I could watch what he did. This time I was just gone.

I took the stone out of my backpack and shoved it in my desk drawer. It can stay there for a while.

The stone was in my backpack again today and I know I didn't put it there.

I remember most of the day. I was me most of the day. But there's a chunk missing, and it was just like last time. Me seeing Sunset, me not wanting to deal with Miss Popular and then suddenly I was in a different part of the building and an hour had passed.

I'm trying to remember what Sunset looked like when I saw her. One of her arms... it was hurt. In a sling. And I think I saw bruises on her neck.

What did Stygian do?

I shoved the stone in my desk again when I got home. Maybe if I bury it back in the garden where I found it, he'll go back to sleep and it'll be like this never happened.

His name's not Stygian.

It was never Stygian.

That was just the name of his last host.

I'm scared.

The stone keeps coming back, and I keep losing time. The only good thing is that I think it takes energy to puppet me, too much for him to do it all the time. He goes dormant after a while, and I have time to write things down.

When he talks to me, his voice is starting to sound like mine.

I don't know what to do. It's not like I can just call 911 and tell them I'm possessed. What could they even do?

I might have to tell Sunset.

I hate it. I hate that she's the only person I can think of, but she's from the other world, and she and her friends have powerful magic. I don't know what she'll ask for in return, and I hate owing that fake two-faced bully, but she's the only one I can turn to.

I think he may know it, too, and that's why he keeps hijacking me when she's around. Maybe he's afraid of her, because she's strong enough that hurting her arm is all he could do.

I can only hope.

I found your book, little flower.

I'd hoped you were a better friend than that, but I guess you're just like Starswirl after all. Trying to get rid of me once I'm not useful anymore.

Fine. Throw all I've been doing for you back in my face. It doesn't matter.

I lent you my words and my power, but everything has a price, and it's time for you to pay up.