Memory Is Magic

by bored0stiff

Rating: everyone
Tags: Adventure
Length: 7968

A unicorn arrives in Ponyville with no memory of who he is or where he has come from.

A unicorn arrives in Ponyville with no memory of who he is or where he has come from. With the help of the "Mane 6", he tries to piece together his identity and what has happened to him.

This is the first thing I've ever written, like literally ever, so…

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-01-11 18:04:27 UTC

The Unicorn

Memory is Magic

Chapter 1: The Unicorn

Wait, I survived? I’m alive? Yes... I’m definitely alive…

The Unicorn couldn’t remember what made him think that he was dead, but he was sure that he had been lucky to survive whatever it was.

Right, just open your eyes and climb out….

The Unicorn opened one eye, then the other, then immediately re-closed them as he was bombarded by the light. Desperate to reacquaint himself with his surroundings, he reopened his eyes, holding them open with his hooves. He ignored the stinging, and the fact that every muscle in his body was seemingly working together in a scheme to get him to shut his eyes tightly and never open them again. When he had finally adjusted his eyes to the light he surveyed his surroundings, he was in a bright sunny field; the colours around him were rich and bright and familiar without being recognisable enough to make The Unicorn think he'd been there before. He wondered what he had wanted to climb out of, but he couldn’t remember. In fact, he couldn’t remember how he'd got in this state in the first place, and that's when it suddenly dawned on the pony that he couldn't remember anything. Panic set into the stallion as he searched in his own head for details. There was a dull ache in his mind, not a pain, but a feeling of pressure – like being deep underwater. His name, he knew his name! He did! It was there, written out in his mind, but it was as if it had been blurred out. It was so close, tantalizingly close, but frustratingly illegible. Panicked, The Unicorn desperately groped about the fog for one detail that would remind him, it felt like his life was being kept just around a corner, just out of view – but he just needed something to help him turn the corner.

My mother’s name? My father’s? My magic kindergarten teacher? The place I used to play as a child?

Nothing.

Terrified and alone, The Unicorn looked around for a face that would spark his memory, or at least for somepony that would recognise him and take him in. In the distance he saw a town, there had to be somepony that could help him there! He got up from the prone state he had awoke in, clumsily onto his hind legs and instantly fell forwards scraping his muzzle along the grass and mud.

“Why the hay did I do that!? I must still be disorientated…” He heard his voice for the first time, trailing of in a mixture of pain and joy, this was the first thing since he had woken up that he’d recognised, but that didn’t detract from the fact that his head now felt like it had been hit by a train.

The Unicorn now stumbled clumsily towards the town now, his legs buckled occasionally and he had to stop several times for a rest even though the walk itself wasn’t that far.

When he reached a hill overlooking the town he stopped again, he felt terrible, like every muscle in his body was trying to leave through his skin. He vomited heavily and then looked out across what looked like the town centre, trying to muster up the energy or inclination to continue his journey. It was then a light came on in his head; Sugarcube Corner, The Carousel Boutique, The Market, The Town Hall… He knew these places! This was Ponyville! He didn’t know why this town was so significant to him, but at this point he didn’t care, the rush of familiarity travelled through him and gave him the burst of energy he needed to descend the steep hill towards the town.

There is a distinct downside to blind will and determination, however, as The Unicorn was about to learn. The hard way. Much of the faculty of the body is controlled by the mind and a pony can be amazed at what their bodies will do in times when they really put their minds to it, but the body and mind are separate things and sometimes one just cannot or will not co-operate with the other. The Unicorn realised this as his legs buckled beneath him, turning his inelegant galloped down the slope into an equally inelegant tumble. He continued to roll and bounce down the hill for almost a minute, only gaining speed as he wildly flailed to try and slow himself down. He fell head over tail, tail over head, until finally, he met a less than forgiving wall.

The Unicorn looked up dazed and confused at the wall, which was cracked from the impact, and then towards the sky, as this did not require the painful effort of lifting his head. He saw pegusi going about their daily lives, never thinking to look down. “Why should they?” he thought, his eyelids getting weightier by the second. The Unicorn took one last, almost admiring glance at the damage he’d caused to the side of the building he’d crashed into before yielding to the heaviness of his eyelids and passing out...

Fleeting Memories

Chapter 2: Fleeting Memories

The Unicorn listened as his mother cried his name, more and more hysterically every time. He saw himself in the third person floating in a dark abyss. He was troubled by his mother’s pain, but did not truly bothered until he heard what sounded like his father… crying?

There are many things that The Unicorn knew his father for, but in all his years he had never seen him display any emotion towards him. He thought back at his life, remembering vividly growing up, playing sports far too competitively in the garden, his adolescent years spent knowing that his father loved him just enough to not break his heart by telling him his true feelings about his only son,  The Unicorn never seeing anything but an unspoken disappointment from his father. In fact, the only time he ever saw any emotion from his father was when he saw his favourite soccer team lose in a cup final. [1]

The Unicorn saw a bright light shining on his face and the silhouette of a pony, he forced himself to focus and rouse from his groggy state. He was caught in the moments between awake and asleep, where the conscious and subconscious parts of the mind work together to create visions that can never be truly understood until they are studied by the conscious mind, visions far too fantastic to be true – but at the time totally believable. He knew that this silhouette was his mother, waiting at his bedside, that’s why he had dreamt about her crying.

“Oh thank goodness, you’re OK; when I found you I thought you were… I mean you looked…” the soft voice trailed off, The Unicorn instantly realising that the owner of said voice was unable to talk her worry that he was terminally wounded. The voice most definitely wasn’t his mother’s and the mare whom it belonged couldn’t be much more than a year older than him, The Unicorn scanned her face, it seemed familiar, the pink mane and bright blue eyes, which were now looking down at the floor definitely meant something to The Unicorn, but he felt that it would be insensitive to ask her for more information in front of the other ponies. The Unicorn didn’t know why, when he was so desperate for details on his own life, that it seemed wrong to pursue the details, but it just did.

The Unicorn then started to woozily evaluate the faces of the other three ponies present. Two of the faces, again, rang a bell, an orange mare with a blonde mane, wearing a hat indoors for some reason and a male pony wearing a brace clearly designed to pull a plough. The other pony, The Unicorn recognised only as a nurse. Somepony had obviously taken him to hospital after he had passed out, he gathered.

Several minutes passed as The Unicorn tried to remember where he knew the ponies’ faces from. The ponies in question looked awkwardly around the room and at the floor, as if they knew they should say something, but nopony wanted to be the first one to speak.

“None of these ponies are my mother and father that I heard.” Thought The Unicorn, “I mean, my mother sounded like… what did she sound like? She said my name… it was… oh Celestia, how could I forget my name, I heard it just now in the dream with my father… was my father in it?” The Unicorn’s internal monologue grew increasingly melancholy as he realised that all of the important details of his dream had drifted out of focus as he woke up and that he wouldn’t be getting them back.

“What Fluttershy was trying to say, is that she was really worried that you had seriously injured yourself when she found you lying at the bottom of that hill.” Said the orange Earth Pony, apparently noticing the fear and confusion in The Unicorn’s eyes, “she ran and fetched us as soon as she could” she gestured towards the male pony standing alongside her “and we carried you here, Ponyville Royal Infirmary, you’ve been out for a couple of days.”  There were a few seconds of silence as The Unicorn attempted to process the new evidence he’d received – to the other ponies this felt like an eternity. “The name’s Applejack and this is my brother Big Macintosh.” The Earth Pony added to break the silence.

“…Applejack… Big Macintosh… Fluttershy… My name is…. is…. I can’t remember...” The Unicorn looked down, avoiding eye contact with the other ponies; he had no idea as to why he was so ashamed of admitting this. “In fact, I can’t remember anything about my own life, or where I came from…” The Unicorn trailed off, this was as close to a cry for help as the other ponies were ever going to get. He knew very little about himself, except for the fact that it was extremely uncomfortable and ill-fitting for him to be asking strangers for help.

“Oh, you poor thing!” Said Fluttershy, surprising both herself and The Unicorn with her sudden outburst of apparent confidence. Fluttershy knew that her calling was to care for those who couldn’t care for themselves and that didn’t always mean animals, but it sometimes meant ponies too. She imagined how frightening it would be to live in a world where she couldn’t remember her friends and physically shuddered at the thought. “We will help you remember who you are if it’s the last thing we do, isn’t that right Applejack?” Fluttershy looked towards Applejack, who had apparently been caught off-guard by the question. She took a moment and then nodded in agreement; she knew that even though this unicorn was a stranger, leaving him alone without even his memory just wouldn’t be right.

The Unicorn sensed an easing on his chest. Relief that he was no longer in this alone. It was only with this reassurance that he realised how scared he had been before these kind ponies had offered to help. The nurse pony left to attend to the other ponies in the ward, content that The Unicorn’s condition was improving. The room contained twelve beds, most of which clearly contained sickly ponies, three were empty and another two were obscured by curtains. An elderly mare stood with an IV on a tall stand in one hoof, staring vacantly out of the window.

“Thank you so much” said The Unicorn, “but there’s one thing I must ask you. Do I know you? I feel like I know you. I’ve not recognised anypony else, but I recognised you three. Please say that you know who I am. I-” He cut himself short, embarrassed that his panic and desperation had been portrayed so obviously in his voice. The three ponies in front of him looked at each other. There was another awkward silence, Applejack and Big Macintosh were staring expectantly at Fluttershy.

“You…. should rest.” She finally said. The Unicorn needed to know more about these ponies and the significance in his life, but he couldn’t think of an argument. He was tired, and Fluttershy’s statement had reminded him of the feeling in his head. It was not a pain, but rather an exhausting fogginess. He tried to rationalise the feeling, but the closest thing he had experienced before was the feeling at a party, when a pony is sober enough to know that what they’re doing is embarrassing and out-of-character, but inebriated enough to not stop doing it and to have a lot of fun in the process. The Unicorn tried to remember the time that this had happened, what had made him make this comparison? Ultimately, the reasoning only served to make him more tired – and he managed to give his new companions a weak, appreciative smile, before again falling asleep.

[1] Blimey, I cut an awful lot of rambling out here. I got slightly distracted by the awesome thought of ponies playing football. There was a whole section where The Unicorn remembers going to football matches, the cup final mentioned was The Unicorn’s beloved Hoofston Villa, playing and losing to Manechester United. There were ponified footballer names and everything, Gabriel Agbonlahooves, for example. Ultimately, I removed the whole thing because it made the chapter all disjointed and I didn’t think anyone would get it. Anyway, if you’ve read this far, thanks, there’s a lot more to come!

The Unicorn and The Apple Family

Chapter 3 – The Unicorn and The Apple Family

It was a mystery to The Unicorn, how he had found himself stood in the field. Storm clouds had started to gather several minutes ago and the first spots of rain were pattering against his nose. A loud, but dull drone shook the field and the surrounding flatlands. The noise was deafening, The Unicorn could feel it in his gut, and it made him feel physically sick. The vibration of the ground made it a struggle for the charcoal pony to even stay standing up. The rain got heavier as the noise and the shaking increased. There were intermittent flashes of neon-blue light across the sky, like no lightening that The Unicorn had ever seen before. He looked around for shelter from the storm, but could see nothing but the muddy fields and the deep grey skies as far as the eye could see. The flashes of blue lightening were now accompanied by thunder, again, like no thunder The Unicorn had ever experienced – the high-pitched wailing cut through the barren landscape, creating an inescapable wall of excruciating sound. The Unicorn collapsed to the ground, the cold mud sending shivers from his haunches to his horn. The ground shook and swayed more violently, the stallion just hid his head in his hooves and prayed for it to be all over.

The Unicorn awoke suddenly in a cold sweat. There was a split-second as he remembered why he wasn’t in his hospital bed anymore. He was in a smaller room, with a wooden floor and walls painted deep red. The window was open and a breeze blew the curtains about, fleetingly revealing that it was daylight outside. The Unicorn was in Sweet Apple Acres, another place that had sounded familiar to him when it was first revealed yesterday.

The doctors at Ponyville Royal Infirmary had recommended that The Unicorn return home, but with still no memory of where he lived this was an impossibility. Fluttershy had suggested that he should stay at her cottage while he recuperated, but the nurse seemed to prefer the idea of the injured pony staying at Sweet Apple Acres, where there were more ponies to keep an eye on him. Head injuries can have unpredictable side-effects, she explained, so it was best that he had near-constant observation. Applejack and Big Mac were more than happy to take in the houseguest, promising the anxious yellow Pegasus that she could visit him any time. The two Earth Ponies carried The Unicorn to his new bed, despite his insistence that he could walk, and he had been there since – still feeling the drowsiness and headaches that came from his wound and the painkillers he’d been given to overcome it.

After getting out of bed, The Unicorn managed to walk gingerly towards the door. He had terrible cramp in all four of his legs, the result of not walking for what he could only guess had been about a week. On his third attempt he managed to open the door with his magic, the act felt strangely foreign, but ultimately second nature to an adult unicorn. At the bottom on the stairs, The Unicorn met Applejack again, who had just exited the  kitchen.

“Afternoon, sleepy-head.” She said with a warm smile, “Big Mac is out on the farm and Granny Smith is napping, I was just making some apple fritters for me and the girls if you feel up to eating.”

“I….um…yes please.” The Unicorn had tried to turn down the offer out of politeness, the kindness the Apple Family had shown was astonishing and he didn’t want to impose further, but he also acknowledged that he needed to talk to Applejack.

At the dinner table sat three fillies, fidgeting and arguing with each other as they waited for their meals. All three stopped and looked at The Unicorn as he entered the room. The young yellow Earth Pony sitting in the middle of the trio was the first to speak.

“Hey there, my name’s Applebloom and these are my friends; Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle, She gestured first to the Pegasus filly on her right, then to the Unicorn on her left. “Together, we’re the Cutie Mark Crusaders!” Her tone then became more serious and sympathetic. “My big sister told me about your accident and how you’d lost your memory.”

“It must be really terrible to not remember any of your friends…” Sweetie Belle empathised.

“Yeah… so what’s your name?”  Scootaloo said brashly, drawing accusing glares from the other two fillies. She shuffled embarrassedly in her chair. “Right… sorry, but we really do need something to call you until you get your memory back. Don’t worry; we’ll think of an awesome name for you – so awesome that’ll want to keep it even when you remember your real name!” The three fillies excited discussed amongst themselves, their whispers inaudible to The Unicorn.

“We’ve got it!” Applebloom exclaimed, banging her hoof of the table. “We’ll call you Alley, seems how Fluttershy found you in an alley-“

“- and the wall you crashed into was the back of the bowling alley!” Sweetie Bell added. The Cutie Mark Crusaders sat with huge grins on their faces, waiting for the praise that they had surely earned.

“Girls!”  Applejack had just walked into the room carrying a plate in her mouth and her outburst had caused her to drop it. Apple fritters were now scattered across the floor. “This poor pony has been through enough, without y’all hassling him and calling him names!” She raised a hoof to her sister and her friend’s protests, until The Unicorn interjected.

“It’s OK, really, they’re right – you can’t just go on calling me ‘The Unicorn’ or something and Alley seems fine to me.” He smiled at the three fillies, recognising that their naivety was not in any way malicious. He used his magic to levitate the fritters from the floor and attempted to place them back on the plate, however they flew up and covered Applejack’s face with apple – eliciting stifled giggles from the dinner table. “Oh my goodness! I’m so sorry! I guess my magic is still a little rusty,” the grey unicorn felt his face burn up in awkwardness. The apple-covered Earth Pony just laughed.

“It doesn’t matter, there’s plenty more where that came from. You go sit down and I’ll make some more. And girls, go easy on him will ya?” She grinned in the direction of the Cutie Mark Crusaders and then headed back into the kitchen.

As the three sat down for what was lunch for everypony except the newly-named Alley, for whom it was breakfast, the stallion decided to ask the question that he’d been avoiding all day.

“So…. Do you know who I am? It’s just … I thought I recognised you and your family – do I know you?” Applejack had expected the question to come from the Unicorn sooner or later, she looked back apologetically.

“Sorry, sugarcube, I’ve spoken to everypony here at Sweet Apple Acres since you asked us back at the hospital, and no one’s ever seen you before, you must be mistaken,” she noticed Alley slump in his chair. “It’s okay though, because me and my friends will help you get your memories back in no time – heck, I bet ya my friend Twilight – she lives over in Ponyville library – she’ll probably have some sort of spell that can magic your memory back, just like that!” She smiled reassuringly. Meanwhile, Alley was feeling worse than ever, he had to ignore the familiarity of all these names he kept hearing, which made his job a lot more difficult.

“You’re right. And thanks for your help so far.” Alley said, before attempting to steer the conversation away from his amnesia. “So, The Cutie Mark Crusaders? What does that mean?” He addressed the three fillies, who had been watching the conversation between the older ponies with concern and confusion. Applejack audibly sighed.

“We’re all working together to find our special talents, so that we can earn our cutie marks!” Scootaloo fluttered her wings as she spoke, hovering in mid-air for a few seconds. “Which reminds me, these cutie marks aren’t going to get themselves. Come on girls!” The three fillies cheered and shot out of the door, leaving their lunches only half-eaten.

“Don’t mind them. Hay, come to think of it – what does your cutie mark mean?” Applejack’s question switched a light on in Alley’s mind. Perhaps this would be the spark that would light the powder keg of memories. He looked at himself in the mirror that was hanging on the far wall, it was as if he had never seen pony staring back at him. Alley was a tall unicorn, with a short mane of deep crimson and pale blue. It was wild and unruly, as was his tail, a result of a week’s neglect. Alley’s coat was a dark charcoal and his brightly coloured mane and tail contrasted starkly with it. His eyes passed to his side – where he saw his cutie mark. It was a thought bubble.

“My cutie mark is a thought cloud? What could that mean? I am good at thinking? Dreaming? Am I a philosopher? I have been having some pretty vivid dreams lately, but I can never remember them…” Alley thought aloud, but failed to remember anything useful. “Maybe I’ll go and see your friend Twilight, do you think she’ll know anything about dreams?” The charcoal pony asked Applejack hopefully.

“You’re sure as sugar she will! If Twilight hasn’t read a book about it, then it’s not worth knowing, but right now you should get some rest – you’ve had a really bad knock on the head, it’s too early for you to go trotting off all over Ponyville.” Applejack felt terrible for postponing Alley’s attempts at uncovering his memories, but knew that what she’d said was right. The unicorn agreed, he was still feeling woozy and hadn’t touched his food. He thanked Applejack for her generosity and kindness, before excusing himself and returning to bed.

The Unicorn and Pinkie Pie Part 1

Chapter 4 – The Unicorn and Pinkie Pie Part 1

Sugarcube Corner was alive with the sounds of ponies and music. It was decorated with colourful ribbons and banners, with cakes and other sugary treats stacked high on every flat surface.

“Erm… What am I doing here again, Applejack? I thought we were going to meet this Twil-“

“Duh! This is your ‘Welcome to Ponyville, or maybe welcome back because you’ve been here before, but you just can’t remember it – but Pinkie Pie’s never seen you before and she knows every pony in Ponyville, so you’re probably not from around here’ Party!” A bright pink Earth Pony with a frizzy pink mane had appeared in front of Alley and Applejack apparently from nowhere, she took a deep breath after her speech and pointed a hoof to the far wall, where a huge banner had been unfurled.

WELCOME TO PONYVILLE, OR MAYBE WELCOME BACK BECAUSE YOU’VE BEEN HERE BEFORE, BUT YOU JUST CAN’T REMEMBER IT – BUT PINKIE PIE’S NEVER SEEN YOU BEFORE AND SHE KNOWS EVERY PONY IN PONYVILLE, SO YOU’RE PROBABLY NOT FOR AROUND HERE!

The banner was mouth-painted in bright pink, with the letters getting smaller towards the end, as the creator obviously struggled to fit all the words in. “Do you like it? I made it my self! My name’s Pinkie Pie, wanna cupcake?” She bowed her head, offering a cupcake from a basket-hat that was balanced perfectly atop her mane.

“I… er…” Before Alley had a chance to piece together a reaction, the pony had bounced away, the basket-hat remaining perfectly balanced somehow.

“That’s Pinkie Pie, she’s a little… eccentric, but she’s one of the nicest ponies you’d ever want to meet,” Applejack spoke, she had seen the look on Alley’s face many times – it was a common reaction to meeting Pinkie for the first time. “Here, come let me introduce you to all my friends.”

The night had gone quickly and Alley soon found himself saying goodbyes to the six mares he had met. The conversation with his new friends had flowed well, perhaps due to the concoction that was being generously ladled out by a pony called Berry Punch.  Pinkie had made the confused unicorn promise to not talk about “boring” things like his massive memory loss. Alley complied; it actually felt good for it not to be the only thing he thought about. He had listened as the six ponies, including four he had never met before; Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Twilight Sparkle and the aforementioned Pinkie Pie, regaled the adventures they had been on since meeting each other only a year ago.  Some of the stories sounded too unbelievable to be true, but Applejack assured him that they had all really happened, the unicorn having no reason to disbelieve the pony that he’d just discovered was the Element Of Honesty.

Alley had agreed to meet Applejack back at Sweet Apple Acres, he wanted to thank Pinkie Pie for her thoughtfulness; her party had been a welcome relief from the stress of the past week. Pinkie was nowhere to be seen inside Sugarcube Corner, however, so Alley presumed she’d gone to bed. He pledged to himself that he’d thank her tomorrow and headed out the door.

Pinkie backed nervously away from the three enormous unicorn stallions that closed in on her. They carried large pieces of wood, levitating them threateningly in front of their faces. She felt her bottom bump into something, she literally had her back against the wall now. There was no escape. She stood on her hind legs and forced a smile.

“Guy’s… you don’t want to hit me… because… I’m made of… wasp stings? Yep, that’s Pinkie Pie, 80% wasp stings, 30% pony – you hit me and you’ll have a really nasty sting!” The pink pony wore a serious expression, she had decided to go with her story whole-hog - there were hardly any better options. She started making buzzing noises like a wasp. The three unicorns looked at each other, stopping in their tracks. A moment later, though, they continued to close in.

“Hey you! Get away from her!” Alley had heard the commotion as he exited Sugarcube Corner. He was trying his best to act and sound intimidating, something that he wasn’t very good at. The unicorn muscle turned their attentions to the interferer, who tried to remember a spell to help him out. He randomly started to channel magic through his horn, letting his instincts take over. He lifted one of the unicorns into the air and crashed him into the other two a little harder than he had wanted to. The three thugs looked injured. They got to their feet, trying to avoid showing pain.

“Come on guys, let’s tell the boss that he’ll have to use some more… aggressive tactics if he wants this foal to pay-up,” the biggest unicorn spoke loudly, making sure that Alley and Pinkie heard what he said. The three unicorns limped away. Alley watched them carefully until they were completely out of sight. His concentration was broken when he was tackled to the ground.

“Thank you Alley! I thought those meanies were gonna beat me up for sure!” Alley didn’t reply, he was still trying to work out how he’d found himself on his back, with Pinkie Pie looming over him. Pinkie mistook his look of bafflement for one of fear. “Oh don’t worry.” The excitable pony grinned. “I’m not really made of wasp stings, I just said that to scare those nasty unicorns, I’m made of all the normal pony stuff that ponies are made out of!” She jumped up, allowing Alley to get to his feet.

“I… uh... OK, good to know. Who were those guys anyway?” The charcoal unicorn dusted himself off. It was late at night and Ponyville was silent, except for the sound of a dog barking far away in the distance.

“Oh, that one’s easy!” Pinkie jumped up and down on the spot as if she’d just won a prize. “They work for The Don, who’s a big mean meany pants that I borrowed some money from, and he’s all cross because I haven’t paid him back yet. I don’t have the money, so I couldn’t pay him back. Simple. Only, he got all frowny and sent those nasties to beat me up.” Pinkie said, matter-of-factly.

“What!? You borrowed money from the mafia!? What were you thinking!?” Pinkie stared back at Alley, blinking innocently, as if she’d never before considered that taking out a loan from the mob had been a bad idea. The unicorn slapped his hoof against his face.

“It’s OK, because I baked The Don a big, tasterific cake, and I’m going to go give it to him. Then I’ll just tell him that I can’t pay back his money. Everypony has to listen to reason when they’ve just been given a free cake.”

“You have to be kidding right, please say you’re joking…. You are joking aren’t you?” Pinkie shook her head. “Fine. But you’re not going alone.” Alley wasn’t sure how the last part of the sentence has slipped out of his mouth. He ignored the fact every fibre of his being was telling him to leave this crazy pony to get herself killed and carry on trying to regain his memory – a goal that he’d completely ignored for almost 24 hours now. Instead, the trembling unicorn continued with this false bravado, surely Pinkie Pie can’t be as mad as she seems? “Right, what’s the worst that could happen? Oh… right, but still, where does this Don live?”

“’What’s the worst that could happen?’ What a cliché! Silly author! What’s he going to have us saying next ‘I’m getting too old for this’ or ‘don’t you die on me!’?” The frizzy-maned pony spoke to no-one in particular, mimicking deep manly voices and waving her hooves around.

“Dear, sweet, Celestia, we’re going to die…” thought Alley.

The Unicorn and Pinkie Pie Part 2

Chapter 5 – The Unicorn and Pinkie Pie Part 2

The walk to front gates of The Don’s mansion had been quiet. Insomuch, of course, that Alley had not said a word, the Earth Pony he was following, however, had been all too keen to fill the silence. The unicorn was barely listening to the Pink marvel, more worried about the impending slow painful death at the hooves of a sadistic kingpin of crime, which surely awaited them. Pinkie Pie was unperturbed by her new friend’s silence, relishing the opportunity to talk in length about a variety of subjects. Alley was initially taken aback by the calmness in his accomplice’s voice and the fact that she really didn’t seem to think they were in any danger. He half listened as she spoke in disdain of some author or other who was apparently writing something in a way that was unsatisfactory to her, Alley briefly wondered why Twilight hadn’t mentioned that there was an author writing in Ponyville, being the librarian, it seemed like something she’d be aware of. The thought was welcome relief from the feeling of doom that shrouded him, but not for very long.

Pinkie bounced along with a large cake box balanced on her head – she had refused Alley’s offer of carrying the cake with his magic after seeing how clumsy his magic skills still were when he had dealt with her attackers earlier.

“Here it is!” She suddenly said, she pointed an outstretched hoof at a large mansion in front of her. Before the mansion lay a huge garden, with topiary in the shape of ponies, birds and other animals that Alley couldn’t immediately recognise. A large pavement driveway stretched from the house to the street, with several expensive looking carriages dotted up and down it. The enormous, gold coloured fence, judging by the massive spikes on top of each bar, was obviously an important security feature as well as a decoration. The gate however was open, Alley felt a knot in his stomach – it was not normal, as far as he knew, for ponies at the head of an international crime ring to be so lax about their personal security. “Helloooo!” Pinkie was bashing the intercom button with her hoof, but there was no reply. “Hmmm, must not be working. I know! I’ll just talk to the guard and ask him to let us in!”

Before Alley had chance to tell Pinkie how ridiculous her idea was, she had gone. The stallion wasn’t great at talking at the best of time, but hoped, as he ran to the small guard-station by the front gate, that he could talk his way out of trouble just this once. He put one hoof on the door, desperately readying his story. He decided that he’d tell the guard that they were both travelling salesponies and that his partner had just had a little too much to drink when celebrating a day of good sales. Given that it was nearing the small hours of the morning and Pinkie Pie’s natural demeanour, he figured this would be pretty believable. Or at least he hoped it would. He was just about to get an answer when the door flew open, sending Alley hurtling backwards into some shrubbery in the shape of Princess Celestia. “Are you OK? I just got an ear-flop, eye-flutter and then a knee-twitch, that means beware of opening doors – so I rushed out to warn you!” Alley was just getting up from the floor, he’d heard of the so-called Pinkie Sense during the ponies’ stories at the party, but this was first time that the unicorn had actually seen it in action.

“I’m fine, what did the guard say – surely he didn’t just let us in?” Alley was growing more and more uncomfortable about the situation, which was feat in itself, considering how uncomfortable he’d been before they had even stepped a hoof in the property.

“Oh, he wasn’t in…” the Pink pony looked despondent, “I guess we’ll just head ba-“ The statement which Alley had been waiting to hear since they had left Sugarcube Corner was interrupted by the sound of breaking glass coming from the mansion. The numerous windows of the impressive home were flashing brightly with a variety of different colours and shouting could be heard from inside, although it was impossible to make out what the ponies were saying.  “Flashing lights, ponies shouting… they’re having a party! No wonder nopony is guarding this place, they’re all inside enjoying the party! Now they’ll be super-happy when I deliver their cake, I mean, what’s a party without a super-duper awesome-tastic cake?” Pinkie shot towards the mansion and through the front door, which was ajar. Pinkie assumed this was because The Don wanted as many ponies as possible to join in with the festivities.

“Wait! I don’t think this is a party!” Alley yelled as he galloped after the impossibly fast Earth Pony. He went inside after Pinkie, noticing that the door was damaged around the lock. “Great,” He thought, “now we’re breaking in, and it looks like somepony else has got here ahead of us…”

The entrance hall was a huge room, sparsely decorated, the occasional vase lying broken on the floor. The building was largely marble and the room that Pinkie and Alley found themselves in looked more like a hotel lobby than the entrance to somepony’s home. That would be the case anyway, if it wasn’t for the fact that it looked like a disaster zone. The large framed paintings that once adorned the walls were scattered across the floor. The walls were covered in scorch marks and the large satin curtains which covered the broken windows were on fire.

The relative quiet was broken when two unicorns burst in through the large doors at the end of the hall. Pinkie and Alley froze, Pinkie realising the gravity of the situation for the first time – the sudden occurrence that her life was in danger struck her like a tonne of bricks and she couldn’t move to hide. To the relief of both frightened ponies though, the unicorns didn’t seem to notice them standing in plain sight as they were too busy trying to kill each other. They dipped and dived as they dodged the blasts of colourful magic that they were firing from their horns, the missed attacks causing even more damage to the room. “Come on! We have to get out of here!” Alley whispered to Pinkie Pie, already edging along the wall, towards the door. There was no reply, however, as the apparently fearless Earth Pony was already moving deeper into the building. “Are you insane!?” was all that the furious unicorn could say as he caught up with her.

“My Pinkie Sense is telling me that something really bad is going to happen to The Don if we don’t get to him soon. These people are here to kill him!” Pinkie said, as she led Alley through a series of corridors, going through doors seemingly at random.

“Of course they’re trying to kill him, he’s a mob boss! Why should we save him? Come on, we can probably still get out of here before anypony notices we’re here. How can you even care about this guy, you owe him a small fortune.” The unicorn struggled to avoid the Earth Pony, who had stopped dead, anger in her eyes.

“How could you leave another creature to die!?” she said, sounding remarkably like a certain Pegasus she was friends with. “What if Fluttershy had just left you when she found you in that alley? She didn’t know if you were a good pony or a bad pony, but she helped you all the same, and you know why? Because she’s a good pony, that’s why. Now I’m going to save The Don and if you’re not, then you just leave me.” Alley was flabbergasted by the sudden flow of seriousness and clarity. It hardly seemed like he was talking to the same pony. And he knew she was right. He felt terrible for wanting to leave another pony to die, regardless who it was.

“Wow, crazy… but not stupid.” He thought to himself, before turning to Pinkie Pie and speaking quietly, “You’re right. I’m sorry. Let’s go save this evil master criminal.”

“Okey dokey lokey! This way” The frizzy-maned pony had either not detected the sarcasm in Alley’s voice during the last part of his apology, or she’d simply chosen to ignore it. Given the wisdom he’d just seen Pinkie portray, Alley guessed it was the latter. Pinkie Pie bounced away down the corridor, her serious side leaving as soon as it had appeared. “This is The Don’s office” she said, pointing to an unassuming door, “I remember it from when I came here for his money.” The matter-of-fact way in which Pinkie spoke made Alley feel a little better, for some reason.

She opened the door and revealed a grand office, again tarnished by the signs of offensive unicorn magic. On the floor of the office laid an enormous Earth Pony, bigger even than Big Mac – he was hurt, badly with cuts and burns covering most of his body.

“You idiots!” The Don gasped, “What do I even pay you for, I take a beating and you leave me to fight them off on my own!? Why do you think I only hire unicorns? So that I have somepony to back me up when the fight turns to magic, that’s….” the Earth Pony struggled with his chain of thought, after being caught it a quite violent coughing fit.

“S…Sorry Mr. Don, Sir, but I don’t think we are who you think we are, we… we don’t work for you… you see-“ Alley’s best attempts at edging around the subject of Pinkie’s debt were shattered by the pink pony in question.

“My name is Pinkie Pie, remember me? I’m the pony that borrowed all that money from you, then didn’t pay you back.” Alley cringed, surely they'd be killed now, “Anyway, I bought you this cake so that you’d stop sending meanies around to bully me, because I don’t have any money, because I spent it all on parties for my friends – and I hurried here because I thought you might be in trouble, well, first I thought it was a party, but I don’t think this is a party, if it is party, it’s not like any pa-“

“Enough!” The Don struggled to his feet, he was visibly swaying and had to rest one hoof against his desk to stay standing – Alley knew all too well how that felt, but was too busy expecting to die to appreciate the irony of the situation. “You’re telling me that you risk your own safety to rescue a pony that you owe money, a lot of money, if I remember correctly… which I always do. You must be insa-“

“Yep! Well, first I came to give you cake, but then I stayed to save you” Pinkie interjected. There was a brief pause before The Don spoke again,

“Hm. Why exactly, you think I’m gonna cancel your debt just like that?”

“Well, the cake was so you’d cancel the debt, it’s a really good cake! But we just saved you because you’re a pony, and pony save other ponies that are in trouble.” Pinkie glanced towards Alley for a moment, smiling knowingly, “That’s just what you do.” There was an agonising silence as The Don contemplated his next words.

“You two ponies have guts, and honour – that’s not easy to come by, I should know. My own unicorn guards abandon me to join some kid that’s taking over this town... I have nothing now, this legacy that I’ve worked on for years, the family business, gone. My grandpa will be rolling in his grave.” Pinkie looked as if she was going to make a comment about how The Don’s grandfather rolling in his grave sounded like he was having fun, but Alley gave her a look that told her it was probably best to stay quiet, just this once, “ I couldn’t take back my money from you even if I wanted to. I don’t have the means, I don’t have the ponypower, I don’t have anything – just leave. Now. I have to get my affairs in order, from what I’ve heard this new kid doesn’t like loose ends.”

“You know, those ponies don’t know that you’re still alive, if you left now you’d be able to start off somewhere new, they’d be none the wiser.” Alley thought he’d break his silence. He was actually starting to pity this fallen giant.

“Hm. I wandered when you’d say something. You’re right of course, but what’s the point? Why run, when there’s nothing to take with you?”

“But you do have something, Donny,” Alley cringed for a third time at Pinkie’s new nickname for the former crime boss, “you have your life and your imagination - for planning parties and your mouth – for laughing and your memories of all the crimey things that you’ve done that were probably fun to you, and loads of other things that those mean ponies can never take away from you. Your grandpa won’t be all spinny in his grave now, but he would be if he saw you give up, you should go somewhere and start a new family business, in Fillydelphia or Canterlot! You could be the new Apple Family! Or maybe open a place like Sugarcube Corner! Oh! I know one more thing you can take with you. This cake.” Pinkie Pie passed the cake box to The Don, who almost smiled.

“You know what? You’re crazy, but you’re right! I’m not gonna let these foals buck me around, I’m gonna live! You know, I’ve always wanted to own a restaurant? I could move to Manehatten, Fillydelphia, open up a little store or a diner! A real family business! I’m gonna leave here through the back exit, you’d better go out through the front. Make sure you break as much stuff as possible on the way out, I don’t want that kid getting hold of anything that might be valuable! And… thanks.”

“No problem, Donny!”

“Hm. Donny… I like that. Donny’s Diner….”

And with that the ordeal, or adventure, depending on whether you listen to the pink Earth Pony’s story, or the charcoal unicorn’s, was over. The fighting had long-since subsided, The Don’s unicorns realising they were beat and swapping sides, abandoning the mansion and leaving their leader, who they presumed was dead. Pinkie had happily thrown several priceless artefacts out of a window, before Alley rather churlishly demanded they return home, not wanting to stay there any longer than was necessary.

When the unicorn finally returned to Sweet Apple Acres, the sun was rising and Big Mac and Applejack where just leaving to work on the farm. He struggled to explain where he’d been and what had happened. The Earth Ponies, who had been worried sick when he hadn’t returned home, seemed unconvinced with his answers.

However, upon hearing that he’d been on an outing with Pinkie Pie, they became less demanding, accepting his confusing tale and letting him go to bed; apparently this kind of wild ride wasn’t as unusual in Ponyville as Alley thought it really should be. He didn’t go to bed immediately, the tiredness he obviously felt was secondary to the adrenaline he had only just noticed pumping through his veins. The thought occurred to him that he could very well have died last night and never found out about himself. He vowed to himself that he’d focus on his memories from now on, although he had strangely enjoyed his time with Pinkie Pie.

“I must thank her for that party.” He thought, before drifting into some must-needed sleep.