What's The Deal With Technology?

by Coronet the lesser

Rating: everyone
Tags: Princess Celestia, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Luna, Science Fiction, Comedy, Random
Length: 2809

Luna’s return from banishment has been a challenging learning process. But as the years pass and Luna becomes more aware of Equestria’s current technological state, she has a critical question for her sister. Why?

Luna’s return from banishment has been a challenging learning process. But as the years pass and Luna becomes more aware of Equestria’s current technological state, she has a critical question for her sister.

Why?

Cover art belongs to extraluna and all credit should go to them.

Published 2023-08-04 20:30:00 UTC
Last updated 2023-08-04 20:30:00 UTC

The Industrial Revolution and its Consequences

Celestia enjoyed the content silence of a spring morning, sipping from a cup of freshly brewed tea. The day’s activities in Canterlot had yet to begin in earnest, allowing the solar monarch a rare moment of respite.

So relaxed was she that she barely flinched when the doors to the drawing room swung open very abruptly to reveal her bedraggled sister coming off her night shift. Celestia smiled towards her, whose gaze seemed far off and distant.

“Good morning, Luna, or should I say good evening?” Celestia finished with a guffaw. The often-repeated joke was sure to earn Luna’s ire, but this time, any timely retort was lacking, much to Celestia’s surprise. “Is something the matter, sister?” Luna finally looked at Celestia with a sheepish grin.

“Apologies, sister, I have found myself somewhat absentminded as of late,” Luna said. “A matter has troubled my mind the past few nights. It relates specifically to things I have noticed since…my return.” Celestia shot a sympathetic look in Luna’s direction. Another modern invention had flummoxed her sister again, no doubt. It had been some time since the last time her sister had approached her about this, but Celestia did not mind.

“It is of no issue, Luna. Share your problems with me. Take a seat,” said Celestia. She patted the table and pulled out a chair. “I’m sure together we can clear up whatever it is.”

“Thank you, Celestia,” Luna said. “I must admit that I was most eager for your help to clear this mystery.” Celestia nodded and spread out her forehooves in a welcoming fashion.

“Go ahead, Luna.”

“Sister, I am most confused about the state of modern technology.” Celestia blinked once or twice, silence overtaking the room. A bit of a broad topic, no doubt, especially compared to previous enquiries, but Celestia had time to indulge her sister, she supposed.

“Oh, that is okay, Luna,” she said reassuringly. “You have been absent for a long time, and change is inevitable. Modern technology is complicated, sometimes even for me to understand. You have nothing to feel ashamed of.”

Luna shook her head vigorously. “You misunderstood. I accept that change is inevitable. However, I don’t understand how it has developed.” Celestia was admittedly a bit flummoxed but did her best to keep composed.

“I don’t entirely follow,” Celestia answered.

“It doesn’t make any sense,” Luna declared. “It’s all a jumbled mess per my research.”

“Research?” Celestia repeated. “What research have you been conducting?”

“Follow me.” Luna then left her chair and made towards the door. Celestia was a mixture of apprehension but, at the same time, intense personal curiosity. What had Luna been precisely up to? She left the drawing room and followed as her sister took her down a series of corridors to one of the quieter wings of the castle. Luna stopped at an innocuous-looking door before pushing into a poorly lit room.

Luna used her magic flick on a switch unveiling a room covered from wall to wall with papers. With sticky bands attached between specific reports with different colouring, The room was a mess of documents, files and pictures all stacked in what Celestia could only describe as organised chaos.

“Behold! The fruit of my investigations!” Luna proudly exclaimed, giggling madly.

“You’ve been…busy,” Celestia said, concerned, her eyes going from wall to wall in disbelief. She supposed that a thousand years on the moon would have some mental side effects on a pony. Celestia jumped slightly as one of the many towers of papers precariously wobbled.

“Nighttimes are long and lonely,” Luna said, shuffling a stack of papers from an office chair and sitting down.

“Twilight would be proud,” Celestia teased. Luna snorted before floating over a pile of papers that depicted several photos.

“You see, sister, there are discrepancies everywhere. Even here in Canterlot, right beneath our noses. There is the presence of electronic dance floors, computerised video games, electric sewing machines, and laundering machines. All these devices are integral parts of the modern ponies' lives.”

“I believe the term is laundry machine,” Celestia corrected. Luna seemed not to pay any mind to her sister but instead powered on regardless as if gripped by some excitable fever.

“I have been especially fascinated by reports from the mirror world that Twilight has been privy to. In many ways a world so much like our own but so very distinct at the same time. A world without magic but with innovations that positively dwarf our own.” Luna deposited a massive folder in front of Celestia named ‘Equestris Puellae,’ which Celestia had no idea what to make of. “This made me look closer at our world. I could not help but wonder. There are so many inconsistencies, but that’s not what shocked me.” Luna shook her head back and forth in an exaggerated manner. Celestia wondered if Luna had been planning this day in detail for some time.

“No, dear sister, what shocked me is how alike we are. And thus, we come to the crux of the issue. Equestria itself! One does not need to look far to see that Equestria resembles a quilted patchwork of townships and cities existing in varying advanced states. For example, Manehatten is a glamorous skyline of skyscrapers and architectural wonder. Yet rural towns are little different than the townships I had seen before my banishment.” Luna threw files into the air, causing them to fall around Celestia like a bureaucrat’s idea of Heartwarming. “It’s maddening!”

“Luna, now hang on,” Celestia started. Her sister seemed to barely hear Celestia’s protests as her eyes veered widely between different wall panels, excitedly pointing at one thing and another. Finally, Luna tapped a specific page on the wall with an exaggerated question mark on the front. Luna turned to Celestia with a wild look in her eyes.

“Think Celestia, party cannons, think!”

“P-party cannons?”

“Yes, party cannons,” Luna answered with a swift nod. “Gunpowder. Used primarily domestically for such flights of fancy as mere fireworks. Yet such devices are not to be found in the military.” Luna produced a pamphlet for one of the Guard recruitment campaigns. “To my horror, our elite Royal Guard are still wielding spears and dressed in plate armour as if nothing has changed.”

“I assure you that has not impacted their efficiency,” Celestia stated. Luna fixed her sister with a quizzical stare. Celestia coughed as the silence dragged on.

Luna snorted. “I’d agree with you, but we’d both be wrong.”

“Now, Luna, they do try their best,” Celestia chided, though she did not sound entirely confident.

“A comforting thought that they are in charge of the ever-so-trivial matter of our security, then?” Luna intoned. Celestia rolled her eyes. This was getting nowhere.

“You have made your point. Can we get to whatever crazy conclusion you have concocted?”

“It is my view that the uneven technological development of Equestria is not a mere coincidence but rather the fault of deliberate action.” Luna rubbed her chin. “A great plot, if you would.” Celestia bit her lip to suppress a laugh. It would not be appropriate to interrupt her sister now. Luna was reaching the climax of her mad ramblings, and besides, Celestia was feeling hungry. The less time spent on this, the better. “And I have an inkling of who is responsible.”

“Luna, you’re talking crazy,” Celestia said, picking up an empty cardboard cup. The smell was of the forbidden bean, the demon drink that made Celestia’s skin crawl. “I told you to stop the double espresso drinks. They fry your brain.” Celestia then lifted a wastebasket filled to the brim with identical cups.

“Nonsense,” Luna retorted. “Coffee allows me to operate at peak efficiency. It is Tuesday morning, and I feel as lively as ever!”

“It’s Friday, Luna,” Celestia deadpanned.

“I know it is you, Celestia!” boomed Luna, her hoof outstretched and her best judgemental expression sported. “Who is behind this technological catastrophe!” Celestia recoiled at her sister’s accusation, her mouth agape in indignation.

“Luna, I, for one, am shocked and appalled. For you to think so low of me, I would manipulate society to fit my vaguely defined goals!” Celestia held a hoof against her chest, hoping her sister would accept her denials, but Luna was unmoving.

After a short time, Celestia’s head dropped, and a sheepish smile soon crept onto her features. “Well…I-I may have the teeniest tiniest bit of responsibility.”

“I knew it!” Luna declared triumphantly, practically hopping in place.

“Look, there are good explanations for all of this,” Celestia sighed. “But that, my dear, is a story for another time, and we have a busy day to deal with. I mean, look at the time!” Celestia flicked her hoof at Luna before practically sprinting towards the door, only for her to be unceremoniously blocked by her more diminutive sister.

“You’re not sending me off that easily. You are not even wearing a watch.”

“Fine,” Celestia groaned. She gestured for Luna to take a seat. Celestia sighed several more times before looking at Luna. “Where to begin, hmmm? Well, I suppose the easiest place to start would be the banishment.” Luna winced but made no move to discontinue the explanation.

“Things were very…difficult afterwards. And I am not talking about emotions either. The government was a mess, and I could barely focus on the present. Shortly after our confrontation, traders from the far east brought many wonderous inventions and art to Equestria. Scientists in our time quickly integrated such inventions into our existing society using our advanced magical prowess, which had somewhat of a domino effect over the next two centuries. Equestria moved quickly into what I can call a technological revolution.”

Luna tried to interject, but Celestia cut her off. “It’s best I explain everything simultaneously; otherwise, we will be here until next week. It started with the small stuff, artistic liberalism, and then the growth of books and literacy. Finally, it moved into industrialisation, which you mentioned changed our world. Coal being a significant discovery. The power of steam and its interactions with mechanical rotary engines. Magic was the stopgap when such things did not work as intended, so things progressed faster than we had initially envisaged.

“It was all happening with my blessing. The growing independence of our citizens was partially a result of my mourning. These advances made things far easier for Equestria and me, removing much of the burdens of governance and drastically improving the livelihood of the average citizen.” Celestia clicked her tongue and hummed. “But I fear that my desire to find what you may say were easy fixes in your absence led to far more significant problems, let’s say.” Luna turned her head to the side and asked.

“What exactly would that be?” Celestia hissed between her teeth as if the memory of what had occurred was exceptionally irritating to recall if her very visible cringe was anything to go by.

“Well, you may describe them as thinking machines and running on electricity and magic generators but moving, looking and acting in manners like ponies.” Luna sat dumbfounded, trying to imagine what her sister was talking about. “Though they were made more of iron than our modern-day steel at the time.”

“Thinking machines?”

“Yes.” Celestia grimaced again. “A precursor to what Twilight may have described to you from the human world as computerised artificial intelligence.” Celestia ruffled her wings in agitation. “Safe to say, these wonderous devices that required no food, water, or sleep certainly did not turn out how I thought they would.” Celestia sighed again and dismissively waved her front hoof. “An awful idea in hindsight. Damnable things were so bright that they got all these strange ideas of freedom and fundamental rights.” Luna’s eyes widened at the implication though Celestia powered on.

“I will compress the aftermath to ensure my breakfast doesn’t get cold. There was a struggle, and some bad stuff happened, followed by a technological jihad which resulted in a royal decree forever banning them from our lands.” Luna, once again, tried to interject, only for Celestia to clap her hooves together in finality. “Long story short, Equestria has vowed never to let such technology influence their current course, leading to the colourful conclusions you presented to me this early morning.”

Luna took time to consider her sister’s words, Celestia keenly watching her. Luna shook her head.

“Why are there no records of this?”

Celestia let forth an uproarious laugh. “Because I control the records, duh.” Luna’s face contorted into an expression that was a mixture of shock and disgust. “I hid the Mare on the Moon for a thousand years; I can hide a little old industrial revolution and robotic rebellion. A thousand years of political experience makes one an expert in the art of the cover-up.”

“Don’t you think that is potentially unethical, distorting history for your purposes?”

Celestia stared at Luna, then blinked before throwing her head back in laughter. Finally, she stopped to look at Luna, whose face conveyed complete seriousness. Celestia then laughed again. “Well, at least you didn’t lose your sense of humour on the moon.”

“This isn’t funny, Celestia. What happens when Twilight finds out?”

Celestia snorted. “Trust me, a little historical revisionism will be the least of her worries when she’s in charge.” Celestia shuddered at the thought of the papers awaiting the newly crowned monarch, not to mention the exception of unwanted suitor requests that came in by the boatload.

So. Much. Bad. Poetry.

“My actions have ensured that Equestria basks in the glory of equilibrium,” Celestia beamed happily. “A steady ship for Twilight to inherit as a part of the grand plan.”

“This sounds more like stagnation,” Luna retorted.

Celestia huffed in annoyance. “You used to be more fun.”

“But let’s say hypothetically that all goes well, and Twilight ascends to the throne without complication per your often-quoted master plan. What if she fails to learn from what you did and makes the same mistakes again? What then will happen?”

“She won’t, Luna,” Celestia reassured. “Twilight is a capable mare who can meet whatever challenges sent her way.” Celestia’s tone was laden with evident pride in her student and the requisite confidence that came with knowing the mare since a young age. “Besides, we’ll be off to the side, being able to help if needs be. So, we have no reason to worry that she would fail to adapt. You have seen how she managed the mirror world. Do not be surprised if she is already considering importing their technology here into Equestria.”

“But how can you be so sure, sister?”

“Trust me on this, Luna. Have I ever led us astray?” Luna raised a singular eyebrow in bemusement. “Don’t answer that.” Celestia hastily added. “We have little to fear. It would take something mad like Twilight suddenly disappearing, all the magic dissipating, the whole kingdom falling apart, and the three tribes splitting up.” Celestia allowed herself another round of mirthful chuckles. “Like that’s going to happen!”

Luna giggled. “Tis a silly suggestion indeed!”

“Now, enough of this.” Celestia stood up, stretching her wings out a bit. Her stomach growled, indicating her departure from this sideshow was long overdue. “It’s time for breakfast.” Luna looked around at the mess that was in the room.

“I have been…neglecting my sleep for my projects.” Luna sighed deeply. “What a mess.” Celestia shrugged.

“Nonsense. I am proud that you are pursuing your passions, Luna.” She swept up her sister with her wing into an all-encompassing hug, which Luna gratefully returned. “Now come, another glorious day awaits us.”

“I am famished, sister,” Luna agreed. “Perhaps you can order us the rounded pastry.”

“They are called doughnuts, sister,” Celestia laughed. “Go ahead now, Luna. I’ll be but a moment. Celestia paused outside the room, watching as her sister turned the corner. She then found a nearby guard standing on duty. “Recruit.” The guard immediately stopped walking and saluted diligently.

“Mam?”

“Burn that room,” said Celestia with a beaming smile. She indicated with her head towards the room that Luna and she was just in. The guard looked puzzled by the monarch’s words but nodded in bewilderment. Celestia hummed a happy tune as she trotted on her merry way.

Luna, no doubt, would forgive her older sisters’ transgressions, but it was best to let sleeping dogs lie in this case. Celestia was glad Luna had never learned about the prototype Lunar Station built by the thinking machines.

That would have been an awkward conversation.

Author's Note

A blatantly absurd story I thought of at like 2am. The show's inconsistency with technology can be explained away by magic I'm sure but I wanted to give a tongue in cheek explanation.
Can you tell I read Dune recently? Yeah cause I did.

Hope people enjoy!