Six Story Freefall

by Dailuo

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Slice of Life, Human
Length: 12965

How far could you fall in 60 ft?

A human seeks sanctuary from the troubles of earth and life in general, and things seem to fall right into place.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-10-07 01:25:21 UTC

One

Chapter 1: 60 ft

I just had the strangest dream; stretching out in all directions was blue sky, bright and vivid, with two sparrows; one white and one black, flying in slow motion towards each other each with a spool of twine clutched in their talons. After what seemed like hours, an explosions of feathers and down signaled the end of the dream and the start of the alarm clock’s pure evil ring.

I've always hated waking up; the sharp realization that you have been snatched from your dreams, the return of dread and anxiety once again flooding in to take residence within your mind. They say that your dreams are all just tricks of the mind, your unconscious brain moving memories from one area to another (clearly my brain needs to be more organized). However I've always felt that my dreams were always more "colorful" than real life. I never need to pinch myself to tell if I'm dreaming; I only need to sit up and stare out the window into the grey sky, ever vigilant of the concrete jungle it covers. Ah! Where are my manners? Introductions first, they are the key to good relationships, and as such I extend my greetings to you. My name is Alex lo, if you would like a more accurate description of me just think Bruce Lee but more handsome. Okay fine, it’s not accurate but if you’re going to imagine me, might as well make me look good.  I live by myself in the cheery wasteland of the Toronto downtown.

Canada has a reputation for being a land where nature still rules, its majestic painter’s hand brushes the horizon with gold and purple, and lush green forests coat the hills for as far as the eye can see; its beauty will take your breath away . Well, from personal experience it’s a horizon of onyx colored concrete and hosts a collection of trash that will indeed take your breath away.  As I swiped at the alarm clock blaring its 4:30 am warning, I replayed the dream in my mind. It was without a doubt the weirdest and most boring dream I’ve ever had (Not that I’d been keeping track or anything). I quickly jotted down my thoughts in my dream journ- I mean I quickly went over today’s itinerary. Another boring class, combined with another long shift at work makes for a horrendous day.  I begin the day like any other with a strenuous exercise regimen consisting of rolling out of bed, clothing myself, and dare I say it stretching my bac-

-wings! A bead of sweat forms on Rainbow Dash’s brow as she arches her back, straining all her powerful back muscles. She holds the pose to ensure maximum stretching, a quick glance at her Wonderbolts clock confirms that she is on schedule, and it was only 5:00 am. Her morning yoga started the day,  some quick muscle training for tone and then a quick breakfast before her warm up lap followed by an aerial stunt practice. Rainbow smiled, knowing few could match her routine.  Her mind briefly wandered to what was in the kitchen and what aweso-

-Stale, terrible food lied in wait for me in the kitchen. I should clarify; the kitchen consists of the mini-fridge and the microwave, both of which are too small to keep or cook real food. After my grueling five minute walk to the kitchen I’m rewarded with a plethora of breakfast goods including milk, cereal, tea, and…. Well that’s about it, actually. Oh well, cereal for the three hundred and twenty fifth time this year isn’t the worst thing in the world. I’m sure if I hold onto that thought eventually I’ll have tricked myself into believing it but for now the taste of cardboard masquerading as frosted flakes stains my tongue. I drearily stare out my first floor window, the all too familiar sight of the brick wall of the next apartment complex stares back at me. The month of the year dictates the weather and the middle of December promises us snow. The amount however, is left to the discretion of global warming who has decided that two cm of snow was adequate this year. Rather than the white Christmas I hoped for every year I am given a wet, slightly slushy, damp and uncomfortable Christmas; what a nice present. I could already tell this morning was going to be the wors-

-Best morning ever! Cloudless skies, perfect wind conditions, and the best part: not a soul in sight. Celestia’s bright sun crept up on the horizon vying to coat the landscape in its velvety glow. Sure, having fans roar over your every move was great but it’s mornings like these that Rainbow felt the most free; free to practice her moves, free from judgement, free to just fly. But that had to wait. She had to finish her breakfast, because after all an athlete’s diet is just as important as training. Rainbow surveyed the table, unsure of what to start with: oranges, cauliflower, cherries, hay, even alfalfa! On second thought, maybe Rainbow would skip the alfalfa today, instead going for the always delicious home grown Sweet Apple Acres’ apple (hoof-picked by Rainbow Dash herself). Quickly she got to work and took a bite of said delicious apple being sure to savo-

-choke down the rest of this pseudo meal and finally quell that stomach. Yes, stomach I know you don’t like Kellogg’s; no, stomach we cannot have anything different. Strange how the best things in life follow the worst things, in this case my morning tea, a steaming thermos of freshly made orange pekoe tea in this case.  If there is one luxury I allow myself, it’s this tea; if the gods drink anything I’m 120% sure that it is tea. Also following my daily bowl of pain is where I go up to the roof and enjoy the tea, there’s something to be said about watching a city wake up and turn its serene slumber into a bustling machine. Remember how I said the best things in life follow the worst? Well, the only roof access is by the fire escape, and as we all know are not fully automated escalators; rather a creaky mess of tetanus inducing metal rods. However it was once spoken that the ends justify the means, and the roof was definitely an end worth reaching, but my calves always regret it. I throw on my sneakers and grab my thermos, taking my first step on-

-off the porch; Rainbow dash unfurled her wings to their full span and glided gracefully away from her cloud home, beginning her warm up lap of Ponyville. Only the pegasi know the joys of true flight, the freedom of motion and the wind through your mane; those were the things Rainbow lived for. Sensing a thermal nearby a quick snap of her wings and a short aileron roll brought her to the heart of the updraft, immediately skyrocketing her to her optimal cruising height.  Finishing her relaxed lap she began her best part of the day: aerial tricks. Snapping her wings shut she angled herself into a free fall dive, the wind whistled into her ear steadily getting louder as she approached terminal velocity. Rainbow closed her eyes, it was moments like these Rainbow chased her entire life, no feeling beats the wind rushing through your ma-

-hair, ugh, no feeling is as bad as bone chilling wind blowing your hair awry in the morning. However, it was welcome at the moment as my calves screamed their defiance; practice makes perfect, but I feel worse every time I do the climb. Having snowed their fill the clouds have retreated and left the early morning sky crystal clear. It was still dark and the stars still shone hard and bright, almost unwilling to let the sun overtake them. Below, the city began to rouse; the first car honks of the day signaled the creeping suns arrival to illuminate the city skyline in a  brilliant array of colors and swirls. But I never watch because I’m busy looking to the stars, standing there on the roof, sipping my glorious tea and watching the stars, that’s the kind of moments I live for.  They make me feel so small and insignificant and obsolete like a libr-

-TREE HOUSE. Rainbow’s mind had wandered during her free fall, the curse of routine is monotony and she had done this trick a thousand times. She was currently barreling at breakneck speeds towards the town library desperately struggling to slow herself down knowing it was too late to pull out. Seeing as it was such a nice morning Rainbow decided to forgo the rest of her routine and visit her good friend Twilight. It would be rude to arrive unannounced wouldn’t it ,therefore Rainbow decided to call ahead to confirm the appointment

“TWILIIIIIIIIIGGGGHHHTT!” screamed Rainbow, just before she smashed into the window, her hooves absorbing  most of the impact. She could have sworn she saw a purple beam of light zoom past her head. Her momentum carried her through as she spiraled into an uncontrollable roll across the library floor knocking over black boards filled with notes and calculations and obliterating anything in her path. Rainbow finally came against a bookshelf and on a very conveniently placed pillow.

“Not the worst crash I’ve ever had,” though it did rank top 10. She groggily got to her hooves, the pillow making it hard to get a good footing.

“Worst I’ve had,” groaned the pillow a.k.a Twilight.

“Oh my gosh!” Rainbow said, realizing what she had done. She craned her neck to Twilight's level to meet her eye to eye.

“Are you okay? Twilight?”

“No, but please get off me,” Twilight grumbled, finding it harder and harder to suppress her anger.

“Oh right, hehe,” Rainbow smiled sheepishly, gingerly stepping off her friend’s back.

Spike came running down the stairs, his stubbly limbs moving as fast as he could warrant. He sped across the room to help his friend.

“Peewee, thank Celestia you’re okay”  Spike whisked his pet up in a hug, Peewee chirping happily in response. Spike glanced over to Rainbow Dash and said “Oh hey Rainbow, what’s up? What happened, Twilight?”

“Spike, get me the bandages,” Twilight said in a flat voice

“Okay, how many?” Spike said, nervously anticipating the volume level to jump.

“ALL OF THEM!” Twilight screamed.

This morning was especially peaceful. Nothing like a calm and relaxing morning to make the day bearable, kind of like when you sit on the beach and watch the waves crash into the seawall. I had finished a third of my tea when a glint in the sky caught my eye. Stars rarely move, much less align, so it’s got to be worth like, six or seven wishes, right? Well, I only had one: to leave this place. Anywhere but here, and when I say here I mean away from the concrete cage and the strife riddled world, off this forsaken planet of miscreants plague. Careful what you wish for; as soon as the stars aligned, a beam of violet light raced towards me striking me in the forehead and also effectively blinding me. The force of the blow made me stumble backwards, the fact that I couldn’t see at all was not helping me regain any footing.  Before I knew it my heel had caught the ledge and suddenly rather than a hundred tons of concrete between me and the ground floor there was nothing but thin air. My last thought, “I wish I had finished more of my tea”.

The library was a buzz of commotion as Spike and Owlowiscious were busy putting the books away and sweeping up debris. Twilight, covered in bandages, was busy mending the window Rainbow smashed with her magic, welding each piece back together all the while lecturing Rainbow on her mistake.

“Rainbow! I spent two months preparing for that experiment, Star Swirl’s comet only passes by Equestria once every twenty four point five lunar cycles! I had already set the spell matrix and had enchanted it to recognize and deter any inorganic material. I had even begun charging the resonance spell that would curve its trajectory into a perfectly abandoned field, then you come barging in and ruin the spell circle and my concentration!”  Twilight's frustrations could be heard from outside the library.

“I already said I’m sorry, Twilight,” Rainbow said, ears folded back expressing her guilt. “and Star Swarly what? Could you speak in equestrian?”

Twilight’s rage subsided (but not by much), she gave rainbow a flat stare and said in a monotone voice “I wanted to get a space rock, and it’s Star Swirl’s comet.” Her displeasure was audible.

“Let me make it up to you,” Rainbow pleaded “I’ll help you prep for the next time Star Spindle’s rock comes by.”

“It’s Star Swirl’s comet.”

“Whatever, you name it, I’ll get it”

“Well, when you put it that way...Anyway, I need to survey all the residents of Ponyville for the monthly bit consumption census I’m putting together.”

“Again?! I just did that last month. It took forever to track down Derpy”

“It’s what monthly means Rainb-“ Twilight was cut off by the massive explosion of light and heat that rocked the house, a surprisingly impressive feat seeing how sturdy the root system of the library was.

The collision had shattered all the windows and threw half the books onto the floor while simultaneous incinerating the other half. A three meter wide crater scarred the inside of the library, smoke and flames erupting from its depths.

Rainbow Dash, recovering from the impact, got to her hooves for the second time that day and said “I think you got your space rock anyways, Twilight.” Rainbow turned her head to see if Twilight was okay and had to stifle a laugh when she saw her.

There stood Twilight, teeth gritting and trying with all her might to not spontaneously explode. Mane and bandages drenched in a brown liquid, with a strange cup ringed around her horn.

“I hate orange pekoe”.

Authors note: Thanks for reading my story i hope you had as much reading it as i had making it. Please leave whatever criticism you have as a comment as this is my first story and any and all feed back would be great. I had little pictures i drew to go along with each chapter but i cannot for the life of me figure out how to get them onto this site. So once i figure it out ill add them all in. I'm trying a new thing where i switch view points in my story for added effect i color coded it to make it less confusing but i don't know if it really works as things that sound good in my head don't always come out right.

Two

Chapter 2: 55ft

Well this is how my life ends, I suppose. Not a soul awake within 10 miles and definitely not one that would care. Much to my surprise I regained my vision as soon as I had fallen back, not that it would do much for me anyway. As I plummeted backwards time seemed to slow down almost to a standstill, all my limbs splayed out in a vain attempt to stop the fall, thermos of lukewarm tea still clutched in my hands. Time froze, I mean like literally froze; the cold I’m talking about isn’t the “Oh, I can see me breath” kind of cold,  picture the pure absence of all heat, like stranded out in the deepest reaches of space surrounded by absolute zero. IF you can picture that you would have pictured 1/1000th of the cold I’m currently experiencing. I could see the frosts starting to collect on the back of my neck – wait, what? I was floating next to myself, watching myself in mid- free fall, yet unmoving, stuck in time I suppose. It was very surreal I assure you.

Then I was suddenly ripped from my position. Ever try that one carnival attraction where they tie an elastic to your back, and you have to run as far as you can before the tension of the elastic snaps you off your feet and you go flying backwards? This was exactly that, but I had run at the speed of light and it snapped back so hard that I rocketed out of the atmosphere at warp speeds. I watched worlds, even entire galaxies whiz past my vision and disappear into the non-existent point of collapse.  After what felt like eons I began to heat up, I immediately missed the biting cold as it was replaced by a searing hot pain that engulfed the entirety of my body. I curled up into a ball in a feeble attempt to stop the pain, I felt like I was traveling through a heat that only the nuclear heart of the sun could produce. I began to black out, the sweet release of unconsciousness blocking out the outside world.

Then, and only then, did I let go of my thermos.

It was utter chaos in the library; Spike was lamenting his blanket and bed as they were obliterated on impact. His wails of grief could be heard across Ponyville. Twilight was in a panic, unsure of what to focus on first: the books on fire, the meteor, her wet mane, the books about to be on fire, or run in circles screaming. She chose the latter of the bunch. Rainbow Dash had stopped laughing at Twilight’s predicament and had realized the full implications of her smashing into Twilight’s house. She stood more akin to a statue then living pony.

Owlowiscious kept a calm head and was currently trying to vent the smoke away with his wings, beating them as fast as he could. Finally Peewee chirped happily in the corner, blissfully unaware of why fire would be bad inside a pony’s home.

Twilight snapped out of her stupor, this was no time to be running in circles panicking, there would be time for that later. There were books in danger and as the town’s librarian she was the designated literature guardian, and it would be a crime to let them burn.  Twilight closed her eyes concentrating on her spell, she charged her horn using it as a catalyst between her and a nearby ley-line of power. Energy coursed through her veins, fueling and giving strength to her spell. Then she released the spell, her eyes snapped open aglow with magical energy illuminating the entire library in a flash of violet in a loud crack! The pulse of light raced across the room expanding in all directions, it immediately snuffed all the flames from existence and forcibly expelled all the smoke from the windows.

Exhausted and breathing heavily, she lost her balance and fell to her knees. The crater was still pouring smoke but the flames had been extinguished and the books were safe. Immediately Rainbow was at her side, acting as her crutch.

“Are you okay, Twilight?” Rainbow Dash said frantically.

“I’m fine, just some magical exhaustion,” Twilight said as she pushed herself off Rainbow Dash and once again onto her hooves.

“Wow, I knew magic was your talent, but that was awesome!” cheered Rainbow Dash, her concern for her friend alleviated.

Lyra trotted happily across town, her grocery basket and list in mouth. She slowed down as she passed the library, from the outside it looked as if a dragon had taken a bite of the roof, black smoke spewing forth from the gaping hole. Sounds of a roaring fire and screams of grief emanated within, somepony could be in danger! Lyra raced over to one of the windows to get a better look. Then a crack of thunder, followed by a flash of purple exploded from the library. Lyra in turn received a face full of exhaust and ash. She did a one-eighty and walked off sporting a brand new coat color. As she trotted off she thought “That’s why I ship my book to my house”.

My, my was it smoky, I sat up slowly trying to recall what happened. I was on the roof, and then a beam of light hit me and … right, so this is the afterlife. Heaven was more smoggy and hot then I thought it woul- aahhh man I went to the other one, didn’t I. I stood up and arched my back and let out a long yawn, I involuntarily puffed out my chest in the process. Flying through space-time really cramps your muscles. I stood to my full height, or at least I tried to before a wooden beam decided I was too tall. I quickly looked around, might as well accustom myself to the sights of hell. I was surrounded by demons, well, two pastel colored equine creatures, a lizard, and an owl (why the owl?). Well, I best get to it, I approached the purple pony-ish demon, tripping on some bad footing on the way. I had to throw my arms out to steady myself. And this smoke is really stinging my eyes, I can hardly see.

After Twilight's spell, the tension in the room had faded with the fire, left only with a crater in the middle of the library. Spike had recovered from his mourning period and was checking on Peewee, Owlowiscious had had quite enough excitement this morning and retired to his bird stand for a breather. Rainbow and Twilight were casually chatting over a small remaining pile of books.

“Hey Twilight, you know I forgot to mention this in the heat of the moment, but you still have the cu- uuuh Twi, I think we got a problem here,” Rainbow dash said, pointing.

Twilight immediately whipped her head in the direction Rainbow indicated and saw a beast arise from the smoke. Its skin in scorched tatters and covered in soot, the beast let out a horrifying roar and puffed its chest out in an act of dominance. It then proceeded to head butt a nearby fallen beam, clearly more evidence of its savagery. It slowly lumbered towards Twilight, stumbling on its way, throwing its arms out and flailing them in fury. Twilight was in shock, petrified in terror.

Rainbow Dash, seeing the situation unfold dove between the creature and Twilight. “If you want her you gotta go through me first!” Rainbow shouted defiantly.

The creature came to a stop in front of Rainbow Dash, and in response made a series of weird noises while continually flailing its limbs.  She readied herself for combat, steeling her soul for what was to transpire next.

“I SAID DO. YOU. HAVE. A WASHROOM?” I exaggerated, and only got more whinnies and neighs in response.

The blue, chromatic haired pony demon had jumped in front of the purple one for reasons beyond me and started neighing, blocking my view of the purple one. Regardless, nature was calling and there was no sense in having a full bladder while in Hell. My vision having cleared up, I spotted some linoleum; and where there is linoleum, there is a washroom.

“Never mind, I found it, thanks.” I waved behind me as I rushed to the bathroom. On a different note on the way to the bathroom I learned that my head making contact with low hanging washroom doorways are followed by the sound THWACK!

“Uuugh that’s gonna leave a mark tomorrow.” I made a mental note to try and find some ice later…. in Hell. I sighed to myself.

The beast lumbered off into the depths of the bathroom, disappearing through the door after having head butted the doorway, an entrance ritual perhaps? Twilight's brain’s cogs were busy churning through the amount of data being forcefully shoved into the brain. If there was any spare paper in the library she would have been taking notes.

“Twilight, what is going on? And did that thing just use your bathroom?” Rainbow Dash said hysterically.

Twilight stood frozen in place. Rainbow could see the gears turning in her head. A pregnant pause silenced the room; it was broken only by the sound of Twilight's toilet flushing. Coincidentally it also snapped Twilight out of her daze.

“Nobody move!” Twilight shouted.

“Uh- no one was moving,” Spike commented.

“We don’t want to startle it,” Twilight said, completely ignoring Spike.

“Us startle IT? That thing would startle a hydra!” Rainbow Dash half whispered, half shouted.

“Did you see the way it head butted that door-frame?”

Any retort was cut short by the re-emergence of the beast.

Okay, this isn’t Hell; no demon has a bathroom with butterfly shaped soap. And now that it’s not so smokey this was actually a very quaint home. So if I wasn’t in Hell, where in the world was I? I exited the bathroom, making sure to duck the low door-frame this time.  So once again I see the non-demonic ponies, a lizard, and the owl (seriously what’s up with the owl?). Then I noticed something that didn’t belong, it clearly didn’t go there and didn’t even fit; no, this wouldn’t do. I quickly walked up to the purple one.

The beast sped over to Twilight, still making sounds from its mouth. Rainbow Dash moved to intercept but Twilight waved her down. Rainbow opened her mouth to warn Twilight about something, but Twilight shushed her before she could say it.

“I don’t think it’s hostile Rainbow,” Twilight said out of the corner of her mouth. Rainbow Dash stopped but remained in sprint position. The atmosphere was palpable.

I stretched out my hand towards the middle of the purple pony’s head

The beast extended a limb towards Twilight's head

I grabbed hold of the object sticking out and gave it a yank for good measure

Twilight screamed. “Ahh! It’s pulling my hor-“ She stopped as she noticed the creature had only taken back the strange cup on her horn.

“Oh I forgot about that, hehe...” Twilight smiled sheepishly.

The sound of Rainbow’s hoof hitting her forehead echoed around the room.

“I tried to warn you,” Rainbow Dash said. Rainbow then motioned over at the beast who was currently hugging the cup and spinning wildly “Now that we know that that this isn’t as dangerous as it seems, what do we do with it?”

“Don’t make any assumptions, yet,” Twilight said nervously, “We don’t really know anything about it yet, except for it likes that cup and washrooms. We need to study it more. The extra-terrestrial seems intelligent; maybe it has a language we could translate. We need to subdue it first”.

“Uhhh, one more time for the ponies without eggs for heads?” Rainbow dash asked.

“We need to watch it more,” Twilight said flatly “Preferably in a cage.”

“How do you suggest we do that?”

YESSSSS!  Thermos! My precious is back; what a nice pony thing, getting my thermos for me. Now I was absolutely, one hundred percent sure that this is not Hell because an object of pure happiness and joy like my thermos would not exist there. I rolled it around in my hands inspecting it for damage, the front seemed normal , handle in fine condition, bottom was alright, the back was IS THAT A SCORCH MARK?! No! Not on my precious,  I need to wash this off quick! Yes, the faucet in the bathroom. I sprinted over to the sink. This time however I did not duck the low door frame, and low and behold another blackout. And yes it did make a thwack sound. I'm getting sorta tired of being unconscious all the time.

“Well that was convenient.” This time Rainbow Dash didn’t suppress her laughter.

Authors note: Thank you all for viewing and a special thank you to those who commented, it really gives a person the warm fuzzies when they read stuff like that. Anyways, i've been a long time reader of fanfiction, and reading great fics like "Past Sins" and "though the eyes of another pony" really inspired me to make my own.

This chapter i thought i would indicate change of view through dashes rather then color coding as i think the colors are more distracting then helpful. As always i welcome any feedback, and if you like the story gimme a thumbs up (shameless self promotion). Also I apologize for any grammar or spelling mistakes, I don't have a proof reader so i do the editing all on my lonesome. Sometimes one pair of eyes will spot something that i another won't.

Three

Chapter 3: 50ft

With Autumn having come and left Winter was hot on its heels, the pegasi had already started the construction of large storm clouds to give winter the snow it’s famed for. While their work had just begun, one farmer was settling down for the long haul. Applejack’s list of chores dwindled with the leaves and soon she only had to tend to the livestock in the morning, leaving her with a good chunk of the day where her only responsibility was the tending of her own relaxation. The Apple family sat around the fire, swapping stories and generally just enjoying the peace that winter promises. A high pitched whistle droned through the house.

“Ah reckon the kettle is boilin’, I’ll go check on it.” Applejack stood up leisurely, knowing she had all day to do nothing.

She walked into the kitchen, getting some mugs to fill with the hot cider that sat enticingly on the stove. However there was no steam, odd seeing as that meant the kettle wasn't boiling. Then what was that sound? And why was it getting louder? This could only mean one thing.

“BRACE FOR IMPACT!”

Granny Smith put on her trusty helmet and continued to sway back and forth on her rocking chair. Applebloom dove under Big Macintosh, who in preparation had only needed to stand up, using his impressive size and stature as a shield.

Applejack bolted for the front door, they had just replaced the door a month ago and this time Applejack did not want to interrupt her day clearing up shards of wood and building a new door. She threw open the front door and moments later her good friend Rainbow Dash came rolling in at breakneck speeds. A series of tumbles, flips, and one dent in the drywall later Rainbow Dash was sputtering things at an incomprehensible speeds.

“IwasflyingthismorningandthenIcrashedintoTwilight’streehouseandthenSwarly’sspacerockhitTwilight’shouseandthentherewasafireandthenTwilightusedherawesomemagictoputthemalloutbutthenitturnsouthespacerockwasabeastfromouterspaceandthenitusedTwilight’sbathroomandknockeditselfout!” Rainbow Dash was out of breath by the time she finished, breathing heavily to compensate.

“Woah, slow down RD. What happened?”

“There's an alien at Twilight’s house and we need to do something about it.”

“Applebloom, get my rope” said Applejack, her eyes narrowing.

I don’t know what’s stranger, that I dreamt of my self falling in slow-motion for the second time in a row, or that I had woken up surrounded by ponies, and an owl(what is it with that owl?). It seems an orange one had joined the fray, no wings or horn on this one.

Man, was my head throbbing. I don't think that anyplace like this exists on Earth, which also explains the space-time travel. They must have propped me up onto a chair when I had knoc- fallen asleep, how considerate of these ponies. I glanced in the ponies direction. We may not speak each other’s languages but at least they know hospitality. They seem to be chatting about something, incomprehensible as ever. The owl stood watch over the bunch, some sort of pony-owl hierarchical system maybe?

I watched them neigh for a bit, noting the missing lizard, when I decided that it would be rude of me to just sit and stare all day. I stood up; erm, I should rephrase; I sort of bent up as it’s hard to stand when you're tied to a chair. Also, as you can imagine it’s hard to balance bent over with a chair strapped to you. I leaned forward to balance but went too far, and before I knew it was running straight at the pony conglomeration, not of my own volition of course, but gravity beckons. A few feet from the ponies my face hit an invisible wall, a purple light pulsed from the area of contact briefly illuminating the hexagonal pattern the wall had before fading away. With the light my consciousness also faded, and yes it did make a thunk sound when I made contact. Different from thwack, but equally painful.

I’m having second thoughts about pony hospitality.

“Maybe if we feed it, it won’t be so jumpy?” Rainbow dash offered.

The beast had just awoken and was currently unmoving, but no telling how long that was going to last. Applejack, Twilight, and Rainbow Dash all stood in the library pondering what to do about the creature.

“I don’t know, it seems plausible,” Twilight said, turning to Applejack.

“W-what are y’all lookin’ at me for, I don't know the first thing ‘bout aliens,” Applejack stuttered

“Sure I tied it up, but fer everything else I don't have a clue.”

Rainbow Dash shifted nervously before saying “You’re a farmer and stuff, you must know about livestock, you're the element of honesty.”

“Well I can HONESTLY say that I don’t have a clue,” Applejack said, narrowing her eyes.

“Girls! Calm down. We can’t really do anything until I bring this Princess Celestia’s attention,” Twilight said stepping between the two. “Until then we have two problems: one, we need to put the extra terrestrial somewhere, and two, I need a place to stay,” Twilight said sadly, her voice quivering at near the end of her sentence.

Applejack for a first time took a good look of the library. Black charred wood and ash littered the floor, all the windows had shattered and shards of glass covered the ground, and all but four books were incinerated leaving what shelves that remained empty. The top floor was in a worse condition, the creature had torn through the center of Twilight's room before landing in the main foyer, Whatever part of the telescope that remained standing had melted itself to the floor. To top it all off a large portion of the ceiling was missing. It also didn't help that the town weather council had planned a snowstorm for later tonight

“Until we can bring this to Princess Celestia’s attention there aren't many things we can do. I sent Spike out to get some paper and a quill, he should be back any-” She was cut off.

At that moment, Spike opened the door, or rather he pushed it over as the hinges had burnt off. Spike looked at the door and then looked to the group of ponies staring at him. “They were closed,” he shrugged.

“What! How am I supposed to write a letter if I don’t have any paper!” Twilight cried out in frustration.

Tapping her hoof on her chin, Rainbow Dash finally spoke up. “We need a place to put that thing right?”

Two nods.

“Okay, and you clearly need a place to stay, Twilight.”

Two more nods.

“Well, Sweet Apple Acres is far out enough from town that the beast would be well hidden, and Twilight can stay there to keep watch and write that letter. I’m sure Applejack has some paper somewhere,” Rainbow Dash stated, even adding a hoof stomp to affirm her position.

“As long as Applejack is okay with this,” Rainbow added as an afterthought.

“Aww shucks, I was just about to ask her myself,” Applejack said.

“Wow, that’s actually a pretty good idea, Rainbow,” Twilight said surprised.

“Hey!” Rainbow pouted.

“But how are we going to get that thing from here all the way to Sweet Apple Acres, and more importantly how to we get it to co-operate?” Twilight said, completely ignoring Rainbow Dash.

A loud THUNK echoed through the library. While they had been distracted the creature had stood up and somehow managed to knock itself out again. The group of mares stood silently as its face slid down the spell shield.

“Ah reckon that solves one problem”

After much deliberation the group had decided to call over Big mac and fill him on the situation. A stallion of few words took a few moments to ponder their task and replied with an “Eeeeyup”. The plan was to throw a sheet over the beast and transfer him by cart to the farm, passing it off as just another ordinary apple transfer. They even had a few bushels of apples lined up on the sides for added effect, and an apple pie was thrown into the back because those are delicious. The group would cut through the market as it was the most direct route to the farm, though that was not a decision made with a consensus.

“It’s noon on a weekend, everypony will be there!” Twilight said.

“The faster we can get this thing to the farm, the quicker we can get a letter to Celestia,” Rainbow Dash replied.

“An’ I reckon because it’s so busy nopony will even be paying attention to the cart,” Applejack assured Twilight.

With that settled the group set off, the wagon clacking against the stone road. From the library to the market square was a short walk, and if they could get to the bridge on the other side of it they would be home free. The wagon hit a pothole in the road and did an obligatory jump.

“Careful Big mac, you don’t want to wake the... uh, apples,” Applejack said. Almost immediately

after, the sounds of Rainbow’s hoof colliding with her forehead could be heard.

Okay I’m never going to move again without at least a hard hat covered in Kevlar wrapped in foam. I’ve always been prone to tripping but this was getting ridiculous. My head hasn't seen such abuse since the last time I fell down the fire escape stairs. I did a physical inventory, making sure to check everything before I attempt to move. lying down? Check. Ropes binding arms? Check. Legs bound? Check. Gagged? Nope (thank goodness). Alright, time for a look around...oh great, someone turned the lights off. Well, I’d rather say a blindfold... erm, more of a sheet than a gag, I guess, and why did it smell like apples?

The creaks of a wagon indicated that I was being moved and it was not just my head throbbing tricking me. Speaking of sounds there were a LOT more neighs and whinnies happening than three ponies could possibly make. Great, there were more of these things, and I’m still not sure if they’re friendly or not. The ropes were loose enough for me to sit up, but I decided against it, fearing another concussion.

Why were there suddenly so many ponies and where were they taking me? Alright, let’s see, I must have seen and read enough Sherlock Holmes to deduce something. They clearly don't want me getting away and this sheet meant that I would probably be unveiled as a surprise or something. Maybe there would be an event of some sort, like a zoo? Nah, then there wouldn't be apples. Maybe a ceremony? Yeah that’s it, perhaps even sacrificial. SACRIFICIAL oh manohmanohmanohman they were going to sacrifice me to their great owl god Quwhootle.

Okay, calm down and stop making up names for non-existent gods. There is a time for panic and terror and this was not the time for either. I tried my bindings again. Nope, not gonna get progress there, whatever did these knots knew what they were doing. Well I guess there wasn't anything to do but lie in wait for whatever it is that would come.

Actually, on second thought, that apple smell was delicious and I would not be denied my last supper. Concussion or no concussion, I was going to find the source of that smell. I sincerely hoped the apple smell was coming from apples.

So far so good, a few ponies passed by with nothing more than a hello. Although they all agreed to act normal as it would draw less suspicion, Twilight had opted for a more stealthy approach and had worn her all black night suit she used to sneak into the Canterlot archives. All the ponies in the market were either too busy to notice or had grown far too accustomed to Twilight's crazy antics to care. All but one.

Lyra was currently stomping across the market square furious; her whole day had been ruined. Not only had she involuntarily dyed her coat black, but they had run out of carrots at the stall (she was really looking forward to making some carrot stew). She was on her way to Carrot Top’s farm to see if she could procure some there when she saw Twilight and her “gang”. She decided that she was not going to go quietly into the night, she was going to give them a piece of her mind. Well maybe not that harsh, but she still wanted an apology! Okay, maybe she just wanted them to acknowledge what happened.

“H-HEY!’ Lyra shouted, stepping in front of Big Macintosh and turned to face the group. One does not simply get into Big Mac’s way without a good reason.

Rainbow Dash raised one eyebrow said “Excuse me, do we know you?”

Lyra was taken aback. How could they not recognize her iconic mint gre- oh.

“It’s Lyra!” she shouted.

“Oh, hey Lyra, good to see you, love what you've done with your coat. If you would excuse us, we’re in a hurry,” said Twilight, as the group attempted to maneuver around Lyra.

“Not so fast! You did this to me! And erm..” Lyra said unsure of what to say, having already stated why she stopped them in the first place.

The pieces fell into place and Twilight blurted out “Ohmygosh, I’m so sorry, the library was on fire and I didn't check to see if there were any ponies near the windows.”

Rainbow Dash fluttered over. “Here, let me get that for you.” With a powerful stroke of her wings all the ash coating Lyra was whisked away in the wind, she might even be cleaner than before the accident.

“O-oh, thanks. Just be more car-” Before she could finish, Applejack ran over with a pie.

“Take this as our way of saying sorry,” Applejack said quickly.

“Now we’ve got to go! Sorry again!” With that, the entire group galloped off, a few loose apples streaming off the end of the cart. As soon as they crossed the bridge, the entire group gave a collective sigh of relief and trotted all the way to the barn.

Lyra stood stunned. She had gotten what she hoped for and more! Carrot stew was good but an Apple family pie was incomparably better. However as they were running away Lyra had caught a glimpse of some sheeted figure lying in the cart, clearly it was no apple. The whole thing had left some questions unanswered. Why was Twilight in an all-black uniform?, what really was that thing in the cart?, and most importantly-

-who took a bite out of her pie?

Authors Note: Thanks for reading, and a HUGE thanks to f0xhole for proof reading and editing my story. Seriously editing is no small feat and f0xhole really helped me out. Anyways i guess I'll write a little on how updates work, I lead the busy life of a full time student but i write as much as i can on my off days, so i can't set and definite schedule. What i can promise is that I will do my best to update regularly.

Four

Chapter 4 :45 ft

After the crossing of the bridge, it had been a smooth ride (relatively speaking, of course) all the way to Sweet Apple Acres. Rainbow Dash hovered lazily above the group flying upside down; she took a quick survey of the group. Big Mac pulled the cart with relative ease, despite the fact that Spike had stopped walking along and had fallen asleep on his back, hugging Peewee. Twilight had gotten out of her sneaking outfit and was walking alongside Applejack. Rainbow did a small barrel roll while recalling that Applejack had said Granny Smith was asleep and Apple Bloom had gone off to play with her friends. So everything was perfect, except for one small problem.

“Where are we gonna keep the thing?” Rainbow Dash stated, still upside down “It’s not like we can just let it wander around.”

“We could construct a rudimentary holding cell.” Upon receiving three blank looks, Twilight rephrased. “We can build a cage”.

Applejack shifted her trusty hat a little, contemplating what to do; as a farmer and a citizen of Equestria, she knew it wasn't a good idea to just have an alien walking around and possibly getting into trouble, but as a friendly, well-mannered pony it just didn't seem like the right thing to do.

“Ah don't know Twi, it don’ quite sit right with me, caging it up like that.” Applejack shifted her hat searching for the right words. “It don't seem like it’s a danger to anypony, more of a danger to itself then anything.”

“Well, we still haven't determined its level of intellect yet, for all intents and purposes we have to treat it like a wild animal,” Twilight said, a hint of regret in her voice

“We could make the cage homely, like a living room, but without windows or doors," Rainbow stated. "We could even give it furniture."

“Ah reckon it would be fer the best.” Applejack turned to Big Mac “Think we should put it in a cage?”

The huge stallion slowed the cart to almost a standstill and looked to the sky, pondering her question. He shifted the stalk of straw in his mouth, chewing thoughtfully.

“Eeeyup”

I’m convinced that this is some sort of advanced pony-torture; no one should have to endure a long cart ride on a dirt road filled with potholes. I’d never thought that I would miss the smooth paved cement roads. Well, at least I got pie outta this; actually that might have made the trip worth it, that was the best apple pie I had ever tasted. Although I only got one bite before it was cruelly taken out of my reach.

Due to my previous efforts, I had been able to shift the sheet until I could look around. I couldn't really see anything but blue sky as my left and right had been lined with apples, and I was NOT taking any risks by sitting up. The sounds of crowds of ponies had dissipated so I'm pretty sure I wasn't going to be sacrificed, which is always a plus.

Without warning the cart stopped. We must have arrived, I suppose. My vision was suddenly obscured the orange pony’s head. It neighed a bit and then disappeared as fast as she came. I felt bindings being undone in a few swift movements; this pony knew her knots. I’m pretty sure it was a girl. I mean I don’t really have any evidence aside from the toiletries from the earlier bathroom. No self-respecting man of any culture would have a pink shower cap and bath salts. My mind flashed back to my bathroom. I did miss my bath salt- I mean my, erm, uuh, fire axe.

I entertained some thoughts of escape. I was clearly taller then all these ponies and I think I could probably out run a few of them; the winged one might be a problem though, but  I’d  just dart in to a forest or something. Seeing as the ropes were gone I sat up and tore the sheet off. Coming face to face with a massive red pony, (er, I guess it would be called a horse at some point). Now let me explain, I consider myself pretty fit and lean due to my ultra-metabolism, and I was about average height, but compared to this dude I was nothing. Also, if I had any doubts about gender before, they were gone, this equine was most definitely a man. He clearly worked out or something as its rippling muscles were showing clearly beneath its red coat. And the height of the thing, I thought I was tall in this world, but this guy was looking down at me and I was sitting on a cart. All thoughts of escape made a hasty get away from my brain, banished by the fear of being kicked by this dude. No sirree, I was going to sit right here in this cart. I’d lost enough brain cells.

Twilight sat down, letting herself rest for a bit while overlooking the construction site. The chosen location of the cage had been the old tool shed. It was more of a barn that had been converted into a shed, so there was a lot of empty unfilled space. Applejack also had a surplus of wood left over from the demolition of her older barn, courtesy of Rainbow Dash. The creature had initially been eager to sit up but had not moved since it saw Big Mac who was posted as the guard. With the combined efforts of the three mares the construction of the cage went by quickly. Applejack planned out the construction, and Rainbow Dash and herself provided the metaphorical muscle. The cage had vertical and horizontal pieces of wood serving as bars; they were quite thick as they used to be old support beams. Therefore it had square holes all throughout and had but one door to the cage. They furnished the cell with the basics: an outhouse, a straw bed and some extra sheets, and even a table and chair made from the left-over wood. For the final touch Twilight added a simple warmth spell to a makeshift fireplace. It would flicker like a fire but it didn't burn, while simultaneously keeping the cell warm. She couldn't have the first visitor to Equestria die of hypothermia. The creature was strangely all too willing to get into the cage; once the creature had entered the cage Big Mac retired back to the house.

“Rainbow, could you take this key and lock the padlock?” Twilight asked. Rainbow swiftly took the key and trotted over to the cage.

"After that we’re done!” Twilight chimed

It had indeed been a long day, and Twilight was ready to collapse. Rainbow and Applejack seemed tired as well; not that they would admit it.

“I’d love to go inside and get warmed up, that letter to the princess isn't going to write itself.” Twilight joked.

“Ah got some left over cider that will do just the trick.” Applejack said as she walked back to the house, motioning for Twilight to follow.

“DID SOMEONE SAY CIDER?!” Rainbow Dash yelled, overeager to feed her cider addiction. She zoomed back over to Twilight, the entire group laughing like old friends do.

OH thank god, sweet solid wood cage, any amount of material between me and that red leviathan is welcome news. The rainbow maned pony had initially trotted up to the cage but then neighed really loud and left the key in the padlock, zooming off with a strong snap of her wings. A sign of friendliness? Maybe, but I’m going to stay in the cage thanks. Also judging by how fast she moved I don't think I could get very far if I tried to run anyways.

I took a look around my new home. It was … surprisingly nice. I had watched the construction and instead of throwing together a shoddy cage like I assumed they would, they actually put time and effort in. It was built very quickly mind you, the unicorn levitating multiple beams of wood at once. Straw bed, dining set for one, outhouse, and a strange crackling purple flame. What’s not to like?

The purple flame was perplexing; it gave off heat but didn't burn, and crackled without giving off sparks. However, after what I'd seen today it was nothing out of the ordinary. I resolved not to touch it anyways. Okay, I may have touched it to figure out if it burned or not, but then I resolved not to touch it a second time, okay? Alright.

They used large beams of wood as the bars, crossing each other at 90 degree angles to form square holes, aside from the one actual wall of the barn, the rest of the sides were made up of these bars. They had also left me a shovel, whether by accident or on purpose I have not the faintest clue. Nothing to do now but wait I suppose.........

Nope! I’m bored. I took hold of the shovel and started drawing in the dirt. It was far from a masterpiece, but it’s not like anyone was going to look at them anyways. Who would have thought that landing in an alien world would be so boring?

“Cutie mark crusader......lumberjacks?” Applebloom suggested, rolling over lazily on the club house floor. The trio had been crusading all morning and were now all brainstorming what to do next.

“Err, no, I think I’ll pass. How about cutie mark crusader artists?” Sweetie Belle offered.

“Naw, we just tried that one last week.” Applebloom said. Moments later the light bulb in her head went off with a ding! She hopped to her hooves. “How about cutie mark crusader gardeners?!”

The other two rolled to their hooves, Sweetie Belle stumbling on her cape a little.

“That’s perfect! We’re already at the farm, it’ll be easy as pie!” Scootaloo said.

“Remember what happened last time we tried to make a pie?” Sweetie Belle said in a flat voice.

“We promised never to speak of that!” All three of the fillies shuddered.

After the awkward flash back moment had passed, Applebloom bolted for the door “Ah’m gonna grab my shovel. I’ll be right back!”

I rolled the shovel around in my hands, inspecting it. It was fine craftsmanship, err, craftsmanship?; not a hint of casting on it. Its head had been expertly hammered out on an anvil and the metal fused into the wood without a trace of wobbling, perhaps oak? On the handle a few pictographs (probably their written language) were inscribed onto it.

My drawings covered the floor and I sat lazily on the chair, my feet up on the table. This was my cage and I would put my feet where I like. My shirt had been riddled with scorch marks and holes, so I had just taken it off. My jeans, though, were surprisingly resilient; only a few frayed strings here and there. It was nice of the ponies to furnish the cell, but I would gladly trade all of the stuff in the cell for something to stop the boredom.

I sat there contemplating life in general when I heard a small neigh form the barn door. And there stood the cutest thing in the world

Applebloom had moved as fast as her small legs could carry her, eager to start gardening. She slowed down as she approached the old tool shed. The tool shed had always creeped Applebloom out, something about sharp tools and the scarce amount of sunlight that streamed through the one window just gave her the heeby jeebies. However, her favorite shovel was in there; it was custom made and had her name scrawled on to the handle. However, it was more than just a nice shovel; it was something that she and Applejack made together, back when she and her sister had enough time to make tools.

She shook her head, clearing it of sad thoughts and pushed open the tool shed door. She trotted in, swiveling her head back and forth, wanting to spend as little time as possible in the tool shed. A purple light caught her eye, and sitting there caged was a MONSTER! To make things worse it had her shovel!

She did what any rational pony did in that situation; she ran away, screaming. Shortly after she began her sprint for the door, her back hoof caught her front hoof and she tipped. Lying there in the dirt, Apple Bloom gave the situation a second thought. The beast had her shovel and losing it would be the worst thing ever! She got up, pure determination in her eyes; she trotted up to the cage doing her best to hide her fear.

“Gimmie mah shovel back!”

AWWW! That is the cutest thing ever; this tiny pony had a pink bow tie in its mane and had an adorable little cape. I just wanted to run up to it and hug it! Oh, sure, it was running in fear of me, but still the cutest thing ever, the adorableness only augmented when the pony tripped and fell. She? Yeah, definitely a girl. She got up, then trotted straight to me!

“Neigh!”

Alright, this is definitely a language, so if I take this slowly maybe I can decipher what this charmingly cute pony wanted. Come on, university language class, don't fail me now.

“Neigh!”

This time more forceful then the last. Okay, she’s angry. There are two reasons to be angry at anything. Either they did something or they have something that you want. I have never seen this pony before, so I doubt it’s something I did. So it’s gotta be the other one. I took another quick glance around the cell; nothing was in it that she couldn't get from outside of the cage. Except for the shovel. I held up the shovel to affirm my suspicions.

“Neigh!”

Well, softer and in a different tone, so I’m just going to take that as a yes. The glyphs in the handle were probably her name. I took the shovel and tried to put it through one of the holes in the bars but the head was too wide. Well, this isn't going to do. I stood up.

The creature wasn't scary at all, huge but not scary behind the bars. It was currently trying to give her back her shovel through the bars, but it was too wide. Then it stood up and walked to the cage door and pushed it open. OPEN! All previous thoughts of how nice the creature was evaporated, it was definitely scary and huge! It was as tall as Big Mac! Applebloom scrambled backwards, tripping on her feet trying to get any distance between her and the creature. She let out a loud shriek.

“HELP!”

Alright, she’s still scared of me, I guess. She seemed fine before I pushed the unlocked door open. Why leave the key if you didn't want me to open the door, jeez. Anyways, absolute terror was pretty easy to recognize in any language so I stopped in my tracks, and flipped the shovel around, grabbing it by the head of the shovel. I stretched my arm out as far as I could and pointed the handle towards her. Hesitantly, and ever so slowly, she stopped neighing/screaming and grabbed her shovel with her teeth. As soon as I felt a firm grip on the other side, I let go.

Good, I made a friendly first impression. Maybe the ponies will warm up to me and let me go or something. As nice as the cage was, it was boring. I smiled and put my hands on my hips, sticking a ‘job well done’ pose, while I thought of the possibilities. Hang on a second, what was that whistling noise? It was getting lou- THWACK

Twilight, Rainbow Dash, and Applejack sat in the kitchen, enjoying a nice cup of cider and chatting idly while Twilight wrote her letter.

“Do you think we should give the beast a name? Ah’m getting’ a little tired of calling it ‘the beast’” Applejack said.

“Maybe we should call it hard head; it doesn't seem to mind slamming it into as many thing as possible.” Rainbow joked, laughing at her own joke.

Suddenly, they heard a loud shriek coming from the direction of tool shed, no doubt Applebloom.

“RAINBOW!” Applejack yelled.

“I’m on it!” She let go of any restraint and raced to the door. She immediately took to the air and shot across the farm towards the tool shed, silently hoping that she didn't forget to lock the cage. As she neared she could see through the barn door that Applebloom was fending off the beast with a shovel! The creature was bearing its teeth threateningly. Rainbow gave one final pump of her wings, giving herself as much speed as possible and then flipped mid-air, striking a flying kick pose. With a loud THWACK, her hoof connected with the creature's head, sending it spiraling back into its cage. She bucked the door closed and locked the padlock, making sure to take the key with her this time.

“Ow” was my last thought before I blacked out again.

________________________________________

Author's Note: That is last time I'm going to knock the main character out I swear! Anyways thanks again for reading the chapter i hoped you enjoyed it. I'm trying to keep the lore as cannon as possible but I may mess up from time to time and accidentally change something

Five

Chapter 5: 40ft

The heat of the midday sun had faded, and evening had begun its tumultuous rise. Day court had just ended, and night court was a few hours away. It was in this small slice of time that the royal sisters could spend some time together. They didn't do anything special, or even noteworthy; just playful banter and gossip. However, it was something that Celestia had been unable to enjoy for a thousand years, not even with Twilight Sparkle. A slight rap on the door interrupted their conversation.

“Ah, that must be the refreshments. Come in, the door’s open.” Celestia, being an immortal god princess, had but a few vices; the largest of them was tea and biscuits.

The door cracked open, revealing a servant mare, her horn glowing as she held the tea tray, a look of pure determination on her face. Despite the magical grip, the tray clattered as she walked. “She must be more nervous than she looks,” thought Celestia.

Luna chuckled as she watched the timid mare approach. “I don't recall ordering a milkshake.”

“O-oh, so s-sorry, your highness, I’ll bring a new set right away,” her voice stuttering with each word. Any trace of determination evaporated, and fear took its place. The tray clattered even louder as the mare struggled to keep from dropping it. She turned to leave, but Celestia stopped her.

“This set will do fine.” Celestia’s horn flashed yellow as she enveloped the tray with her own magic. The clattering stopped and the servant relaxed a little.Celestia took a quick glance at the mares cutie mark. “Daisy Blossom, was it? You are doing great for your first day, try not to be so nervous.” Celestia took pride in memorizing all the castle staff’s names.

Daisy Blossom immediately brightened up. “Y-yes, your majesty.” She left, a large smile plastered onto her face, a bounce in her step.

When she had closed the door, Celestia turned to Luna “Don't scare our subject like that, Lulu”.

“‘tis not our- my fault if the servants cannot take a joke. I could practice all year and still be unable to do what you just did.”

“Well, they may be better received if you did not tell the joke in the royal canterlot voice,” Celestia smirked.

“That was only once!” Luna pouted.

Ignoring her incredibly cute sister’s pout face, Celestia levitated the tray in between them. Recognizing the scent, Celestia said “Oh! Orange pekoe. I was craving some recently, how delightful.”

“Honestly, Tia is there a plant in Equestria that you have not dried and boiled?” Luna laughed.

“I would be hard pressed to find one.” Celestia joined in on the mirth.

As the two sisters enjoyed their tea, a whisp of smoke swirled in from the window, materializing into a scroll as it reached Celestia.

“Ah, faithful Twilight Sparkle, no doubt. Don’t let my presence tarry you,” Luna said. “I’m also a little interested in what she has to say.”

“Looking to make some friends of your own, Lulu?” questioned Celestia as she unfurled the scroll, noting that it was longer than usual. Since the royal wedding, Equestria had been quiet for quite a while, and Twilight’s occasional friendship report was a pleasant break from the monotony.

“N-no, merely curious,” said Luna, flustered.

“Dear Princess Celestia,” Celestia began; all her students letter began the same way. A sense of pride welled up in Celestia as she read aloud those familiar words.

“I have urgent news this mor-” Celestia stopped reading aloud and stood up, her eyes quickly scanning the scroll.

“What is it, sister? Is it serious?” Luna asked, concerned.

Celestia stopped reading halfway and flipped the scroll around, showing Luna. “We have a  problem. We've not encountered a new type of beast in many a millennia.”

Luna had always been a faster reader then Celestia, and glanced over the entire scroll, expression going from dread to tears of laughter. Celestia arched an eyebrow in confusion.

“And just what is humorous about this situation?”

“Tia, read the rest of the letter, this is no more a problem to Equestria than water is a problem to the sea.”

She rose and made her leave. “I have to go start night court, I’ll leave you to your problem.” She trotted off, laughing the entire way.

Celestia read the rest of the letter.

”The creature was knocked out how many times?”

I am never moving again. Everytime I try to stand up or do anything at all, I seem to accomplish nothing more than knocking myself out. The smell of dried blood and hay filled my nose. “Good, still in the cage.” The cage had become less of a prison and more of a bastion of protection; aside from the mind numbing boredom I’d grown quite fond of its bars. Ugh, head is throbbing like I got hit by a sledgehammer and-

“Hello?” Oh great, now I'm hearing voices in my head. That last kick from the flying pony must’ve done me in. Head trauma, ahoy! Set sail for permanent brain damage island!

“Hello,” I said aloud, responding to my own brain. It would be rude to not answer myself, wouldn't it?

“Ah, good, so you can understand me. Could you please sit up? I’d like to see who I’m speaking to.”

Well, that certainly didn't sound like my brain; I don’t recall ever thinking in a silky smooth girl voice. So someone else must be in my head; either that or I have a very feminine split personality.

“I’d love to sit up, although recent events have lead me to believe that this floor is the safest and least head-devastating position.”

“Yes, Twilight Sparkle did mention something about that.”

I heard hoofsteps gradually building in volume until the eventual opening of my cell door. Whatever was approaching was equine, and I really hoped it was friendly.

“Welcome to my humble abode. I’d offer you, tea but I seem to have run out.” When I get nervous I tend to make jokes; it’s a habit.

I was about to make another witty comment when a bright, alabaster white pony with a rainbow mane filled my vision. If there were ever a time to mistake something for an angel, this was it. Her gaze piercing, yet soft, adorned in golden regalia, and long flowing hair floating in the invisible breeze. So far I’ve been trying to figure out if the locals were hostile or friendly, and I’ve been getting mixed emotions, but nothing this heavenly could be nasty.

“I am Princess Celestia, co-ruler and Guardian of Equestria. What are you, and what is your purpose in Equestria?”Her voice rang through my head like a bell.

“M-my name is Alex Lo, erm.. no notable title, uhh, did you say princess? And where is Equestria?”

I sat up SLOWLY, as speaking to someone while they stare directly down at you is sort of unnerving.Celestia reared back a little so as to avoid the collision of our heads.

“You misunderstand me, Alex Lo, this is an interrogation, not a discussion. There is no reciprocation here. In other words, I will ask the questions. Now I reiterate: what is your purpose in Equestria?”

Well, at this point, I got a little anxious ... okay, very anxious, not because I had royalty in my cell conducting the most frightening interrogation I’d ever been in (well, the only one I’d ever been in), but because the entire barn had somehow been emptied out of tools and replaced by an entire platoon of soldiers. Well, I assume soldiers, because they were heavily armed and armored. Might be guards, on second thought.

I turned my gaze to meet Celestia's, and thought. “I don't really know how I got here, but so far I’ve just been trying to survive. Not going well, so far.” I raised my hand to point at the dried blood on my brow, but about halfway up the soldiers in the room as one unit lowered their spears, the sounds of heavy armor and weaponry filling the room (yeah definitely guards). Although the guards tensed up, Celestia visibly relaxed, allowing a smile to sneak through her visage.

“Well, music to my ears, Mr Lo. There have been too many times in the past where I’ve given trust blindly. Forgive me if I’m not taking any chances.” Her silky smooth voice echoed through my head.

“Yes, better to be safe than sorry.”

“Precisely, Mr Lo,” Celestia said flatly. She motioned towards the bed.

“P-please do,” I said; not like I could deny her anyway.

“Thank you.” She settled down for the long haul. “Now, let’s talk.”

Celestia had walked into the barn close to an hour ago, and as far as Rainbow Dash could tell she had been sitting on the bed and having a staring competition. There were only two openings to the barn: the door blockaded by guards, and the second floor window above which Twilight, Applejack, and herself currently hovered. Twilight and Rainbow Dash had little problem levitating themselves to such heights, but this was not the case for Applejack.

“Stop pushing, Twilight! I’m having enough trouble lifting Applejack as it is!” Rainbow Dash strained, pumping her wings to stay level.

“Hey!”

“O-oh sorry, I meant my wings are getting tired from the weig-” She was cut off by Applejack, who shot her another look.

“You know what? Just stop pushing, Twilight.”

Twilight, being the egghead she always was, was too absorbed in what was happening to notice her comment. Applebloom had assured the group that the creature was nice, but her being just a filly she was dismissed, although Rainbow Dash did feel a little guilty about kicking the creature in the head. The trio had done a collective sigh when they had to explain to Applebloom why they couldn't just take her word for it. The interrogation had begun very stoically, the royal guard had aimed their weapons, and Celestia had intimidation written all across her face. However, the tension slowly evaporated, and it seemed Celestia was having a nice discussion, nodding her head and laughing once in awhile. The creature appeared to be smiling as well.

Just what was going on in there?

I don't know how or when it happened, but at some point the interrogation had evolved into a very pleasant chat. Oh, sure, Celestia was steadily extracting information from me, and the guards have yet to lower their weapons, but still it was.... nice. If I had to pick a tipping point, it would have to have been the part where Celestia had a guard bring in tea; Orange Pekoe to be exact, and I’m thoroughly convinced that any being that enjoys the same tea as I did couldn't possibly be evil. I wasn't even the one talking the entire time, but I had been able to garner some general facts of pony culture, life, and strangely enough, magic. It had been a long time since I’ve had a nice conversation, I’ve heard it said that the difference between a conversation and small talk is that the other person isn't just waiting for you to stop talking so they can.

“Well, Mr Lo, I have no reason to believe that you are a danger to this country or its subjects, so I’ll leave you in peace. The throne beckons and I mustn't keep it waiting.” I looked to the window and saw that night had fallen.

“I will look into a way to send you home as soon as possible; the matter should be resolved within the week. Good day, Mister Lo.” She started to leave when I spoke up, or rather, thought up.

“What if I wanted to stay in Equestria?”

She whipped her head around and looked right at me, proceeding to neigh something to the head of the guards and then lit up her horn. A bright dome of light appeared around us, veiling the world from view

“Alright, not the reaction I was hoping for.” I poked the bubble, testing its strength; it felt like a brick wall, and some familiar hexagonal lines appeared when I made contact. “What's with the interior redecoration?”

“No need to worry, we just need some privacy,” Celestia chuckled. “Now, why would you want to stay in Equestria?” Her face became stern, a far cry from what it been moments earlier.

I paused for a bit, scanning my vocabulary for a good set of words to string together. “Earth may not be the wonderland I described it to be.” I hesitated a bit. “My life physically and situationally on Earth wasn't terrible....but I’ve grown tired of the melancholy of my life and the absolute monotony that it is. But my short time here, it’s been... better. Sure, most of my time here I’ve been unconscious or tied up, but I feel like this is the first time in my life I’ve genuinely enjoyed myself. Errr.. aside from the head wounds. This is my chance for  a new start”

Celestia raised an eyebrow. “I’m not sure I follow.”

My own eyebrows furrowed, frustrated at myself. “How should I put this?...have you ever felt like you're alone, despite being surrounded by people..err ponies?”

I must’ve struck a chord, because she gave me a warm smile and said “I think I understand.”

“Really?” Even I was surprised,

“There are a few rules if you are to stay: First, you must learn and abide by all Equestrian laws, second, you must pursue and acquire full Equestrian citizenship, third, you must keep me updated on your progress.”

“You will most likely need this, as well.” Her horn lit up, and a beam of light streaked into my forehead, thankfully with no force.

“You should now be able to speak and understand Equestrian,” Celestia said aloud to prove her point.

I shook my head vigorously. Those sounded like easy enough things to accomplish. Especially with this new spell.

“I will give you a temporary royal visa, but it will expire in a month if you have not acquired your citizenship. But then you would traditionally be sent back to your own country, or I could exile you if you really want.”

Well, … crap. Excuse my language, but really that is the best choice of word to express the situation.

“And one final condition...”

MORE?!

“Try and make some friends.” She said with a laugh.

After an eternity of waiting near the window without anything of interest transpiring, Twilight and the group had taken to the ground for a break. They sat in front of the door, having an impromptu picnic, patiently waiting for her mentor to swing the doors open, and quell their concerns. Around Twilight’s 17th cup of tea, Celestia finally emerged, the trio instantly jumping to their feet.

“What is it?”

“What happened?!”

“How come it likes tea?”

Applejack and Twilight shot Rainbow Dash a look.

“What? You guys took the good questions.”

“Please girls, one at a time,” Celestia laughed. “What you have unintentionally brought to this world, Twilight, is a human. His name is Alex Lo and he is far from hostile. Due to certain circumstances, he will be staying in Equestria, and trying for citizenship.”

“WHAT?” the three girls shouted in unison.

“I trust that the Elements of Harmony will keep an eye on him for me? Forgive me, girls, but I must run.” With that, Celestia swiftly took off in her sky chariot, all the royal guards in tow, leaving behind three dazed and confused mares.

“Ahem!” A male voice broke the spell. All three girls turned to the entrance.

“Hi, my name’s Alex. Pleasure to meet you girls,” the human said. “Errr, no hard feeling about the kick.”

As the chariot pulled into cloud cover, Celestia allowed herself a smile. “This should be interesting, at the very least.” She laughed, happy over the fact that she had solved her own boredom issues at the castle.

Authors note: Thanks for reading the chapter i hope you enjoyed it. I've been thinking of changing the chapter names, maybe give them actual titles instead of just a number. On a side note school is getting heavy and I've been recruited to sprite for a indie game so I'm going to put out at least one chapter a week.