My Memories Escape Me
1. Gloomy Gardens
Load Full StoryWallFlower Blush. What a stupid name. How dare her shitty, abusive, addict, good for nothing parents name her something like that.
It’s their fault she's like this. It's their fault she's a nobody. It's their fault she always finds her back against a wall in the corner during anything social. Anything. Class. Dances… that's all she could think of. Because that is just how much of a nobody she is. A nobody that no one gives a fuck about. Not her parents. Not her dumbass grandparents that fall for her parents beg for drug money. Not a single one of her classmates out of a thousand. You’d think a small town would make you noticeable. Not Wallflower. Not sit in the corner and bite your knuckles raw while sitting in the corner silently crying. Wallflower could and has literally sat in her class crying or even the few times she lifted her brown striped sweater and went to town on her own arms with the sharpened lead of a mechanical pencil. One would be surprised what it could do. Guess what? Not ONE single person cared. Noticed. Looked her away. Heard her sniffles. Smelled her fresh blood.
She could go missing for ten fucking years randomly. Just POOF. Gone. Nowhere to be seen on a random Tuesday afternoon and not one person would notice. Or care. There's eight million people on this earth and not one of them cared or loved her. It would forever be like that too. She'll never find happiness. She'll never find friends. She'll never find love.
Instead she'll end up as one of those sad, fat, unsuccessful, uninspiring, un-achieving, un-special forty year old's that's still a virgin having to fuck herself cause no one else ever will.
As if she'll make it that long.
She’ll always remain invisible.
Here she sat in the cafeteria. No plate in front of her, she was much too large as her mother very kindly reminded her, staring off into space. Hoping, daydreaming, screaming, crying for somebody, just somebody to notice her and just ask her if she’s okay.
That'll never happen though. No matter how much she dreamed or hoped or wished. There's obviously no hope for her.
Wind gusted past her, Wallflower shot her head up, could this be it?
The body kept walking.
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid! What a dumbass. It's what she deserved for hoping.
Tears built in her brown eyes. Wallflower placed her forehead on top of her arms. The bustling sound of utensils being scrapped against plastic food trays, sounds of teenage voices telling stories, gossip, making plans and laughing filled her ears. None of it had anything to do with her. She was just a waste of space that no one cared for.
As the end of lunch bell rang, Wallflower continued to sit there in her curled, head down position. The cafeteria went silent. Buzzing loneliness filled her years. She was completely and utterly alone. Nothing but a shell of a person surrounded by a black void that shooed away any potential positive interaction.
Wallflower Blush stood up grabbing her backpack and swinging it on her shoulder, moseying out of the cafeteria. This class. It was the very last class of the day. It was her favorite and easily one of the very few highlights of her day. Agriculture. The plants. The dirt.
The feeling of watching the simple, dull, boring seed grow and bud and blossom into an amazingly beautiful earth native. The flower’s soft and vibrant petals that create meaning and appreciation and love to others.
Everything she wished she could be. Yet she was not. She wasn't a flower. She was just the dirt the people walked on and ignored.
When she entered the class she darted to the green house and readied her fertilizer, watering can and seed packets as a professional would do. The teacher never bothered to stop her or slow her down.
Wallflower gently placed a seed of orchids into an appropriately sized soil pot. The small action placed a rare small smile on her face. This is what peace felt like. Watching the smooth and caring water stream flow from the canister and into the soil for the seed to gain its nourishment and health, until that peace was rudely interrupted by a prisma haired busy body, air shedding a guitar and shifting widely with high kicked jumps like she was avoiding a wasp, bumping into the frail girl with such force that knocked her over. Wallflower had not been the only one to fall as the pot filled with soil and a water can joined her, thus covering her in wet dirt, a now empty water can and a ruined seedling.
“Hey!” Wallflower shouted as the sky blue skinned teen stayed in her own world, shredding the air harder.
“Oh dear, are you alright?” An airy voice asked, kneeling down to help clean the other girl up.
“Do I look alright?” Wallflower snapped, furthering herself away from the butter yellow skinned teen.
“Now Rainbow Dash! Pay attention wont ya? Ya knock a poor girl over!” A country bumpkin in a stetson practically yelled.
“Oh, heh.. heh, my bad.” The raspy voiced teen said, rubbing the back of her neck.
Anxiety. It built and crawled around in her chest like a spider that just birthed thousands of babies. Now the whole class was staring at her. She noticed a few snickers while everyone else just looked annoyed. Most likely directed at the rainbow haired girl but Wallflower couldn't help but feel like it was all for her.
Said girl leaned down offering a hand, “Here let me help you up.”
“No.” Wallflower simply said, standing up on wobbly, thin legs, most of the clumpy dirt fell off her front.
More snickers. Damn it universe when she said she wanted people to notice her this isn't what she meant! It always had to be some embarrassing moment that garnered attention to her as if the universe thought she had a humiliation kink. If only she could erase their memories.
As Wallflower made her way out of the green house and to the restroom, tears threatened to spill from her eyes. As soon as she placed the lock into the stall she broke down. Sobs evicted her as tears and snot covered her face. Wallflower wiped at the dripping of her nose with the back of her hand and sniffled as tears continued to rain like a spring thunderstorm. Her diaphragm shook from the intense sobs.
Wallflower wasn't sure how much time had passed but it had become obvious that it was substantial as the dismissal bell screamed along with her finally settling down.
She exited the bathroom, expertly flowing in and out of the heavy student traffic.
Wallflower wasn't exactly looking forward to making it home for she knew what was waiting for her.
🥀🥀🥀
A ten minute walk made thirty by slowly dragging footsteps as Wallflower walked down the broken, cracked sidewalk, hanging her head.
Her footsteps slowed even more as she walked up the cracked uneven driveway up to her dirty, dingy brown bricked house with an overgrown yard and littered beer bottles in a neighborhood that no girl should be walking around alone in. It furiously disgusted her to see the earth and environment so uncared for and violated but she knew if she did anything to help it, her hot headed, complains about any and everything father would throw a fit. Instead she sends a silent apology to the earth.
The stained old white door groaned in pain as it was slowly opened. Wallflower could hear her parents arguing in the kitchen. If she was lucky and quiet enough she could sneak down the hall to her room.
“Wallflower!” A man’s slurred voice angrily yelled. Whelp. There goes that.
Gently, she stepped into the entry of the small brown, run down kitchen, “Y-yes?”
“Tell your fucking mother, how much of a dirty whore she is for fucking any dick she can find to get her nasty ass herion!” The man with dark evergreen skin with long disheveled brown hair angrily yelled.
Wallflower did not respond, she only shifted her eyes to the ground.
“Shut the fuck up, Wheel Barrel! You go around digging into any nasty ugly pussy you can get your paws on!” A woman with white skin and light green medium length hair yelled back.
The man stomped over to Wallflower, roughly grabbing her sweater collar from behind and pushing her towards her mother, “Tell her Wallflower! Tell this cunt how much of a dirty slut she is!”
Her mothering brown eyes bore into hers, “Don't you say anything Wallflower.”
Her father gave her a sharp shove forward pushing her closer to her mother, never letting go of the collar, “Tell her!” he screamed.
“I-”
Her mother raised a hand ready to strike, “I told you to keep your fat mouth shut!”
Another forcefully shove, this with her hair involved causing pain in her scalp, “TELL HER!”
Wallflowers tears burst through, “P-please stop..”
Her father threw her to the ground by her hair, landing her on her back and hitting her head hard on the tiled floor. Her mother came up and kicked her leg hard, “Why the actual fuck do you have dirt in my kitchen?”
‘I-i”
“You know what, I don't wanna hear it. Go away now.”
As permission was granted Wallflower scrambled up the floor and raced to the bathroom.
A shower had been needed. The warm water washed the dirt and tears from her while adding soothing relief to her red lined wounds and the dark purple and yellow bruises that littered her arms, legs and back.
The rest of the night was spent hiding in her room, completing her due homework.
The clock had hit ten and she heard her parents with their drug friends -at least they had friends.
She shoved her window open quietly and exited. This time the ten minute walk had been six as she made her way to the woods behind the school. Wallflower had her own little set up in these woods.
Including a tent, food and her very own garden! One where others couldn't accidentally push her over and she could be proud to say it was all her work.
Not to forget to mention her white khao manee cat, Petal, who greeted her as she walked into the small flourished garden. The cat pushed up against her ankles and purred. She reached down, picking him up to scratch at the in between of his ears. Technically he was a stray but he just kept coming back.
Wallflower cracked open a can of wet cat food, sloping it down into a bowl taken from the cafeteria. She gets the cat food with the little money she makes at her weekend job at a park garden nursery.
As the cat inhaled his food down Wallflower retrieved a granola bar from her backpack she kept at the garden.
Wallflower laid down in her tent, finishing off her bar. She removed her jeans and loafers before tucking under the sleeping back. Petal strutted into the tent curling up next to her head, satisfied from his meal. She gave him a goodnight pat on his head.
‘Another day. Another shit feast.’ Wallflower thought before falling into slumber.
Author's Note
Well well did I start a new story when I still need to finish my other one? Maybe ![]()
But me like sad stories and I wasn't getting my fill of Wallflower ones so I will have to do it myself.
Enjoy and welcome :D
Trust me she's a sad one with some tough stuff.
