Cousins

by TheAlmightySage

Rating: everyone
Tags: Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Comedy, Random, Pinkie Pie, Crossover
Length: 11870

Pinkie Pie decides to have a reunion with her three favorite cousins and maybe one not so favorite.

Pinkie Pie has four cousins she used to spend a lot of time with when she was younger. Pinkie decides to have a reunion with her three favorite cousins. So what happens when number four isn't invited?
Will Ponyville survive the invasion from Tumblerville?
Will Pinkie Pie be able to keep her cousins from fighting?
Will my mind be able to handle this level of pony?

Heck if I know.

----
Archivist Note: I blame tumbler.
Will add character tags and etc as needed, because I have no idea where I'm going with this.

Published 2012-09-27 04:24:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-12-07 06:06:08 UTC

How do I into invitations?

Archivist's Notation: For the sake of argument, clarification, and my sanity allow me to explain I am writing under the assumption all ponies can grip things with their hooves via magic and willpower that requires no further explanation.

------/////------

To the Cakes having Pinkie Pie live and work with them at SugarCube Corner was one of those things that fit and made sense to the Cakes. Granted some of things Pinkie did made no sense and there were times when she would cause a strain on their patience, but honestly the Cakes wouldn't have it any other way.

She really was like the energetic and hard to predict daughter they never had, but there was always one thing that was consistent with Pinkie Pie: she was always interesting to pause and watch work her magic as she planned out her parties. Well that and her love of helping take care of the Cake twins, but that's a story for a different episode.

So Mister and Misses Cake weren't exactly worried when Pinkie bolted into the shop and darted up the stairs excitedly talking a mile minute about, "So much planning! So much planning! So much planning!". The Cakes merely exchanged amused smiles at her antics, before Pinkie came back down with her party planning kit.

So after tending to the small group of afternoon customers the Cakes paused to watch with quite a bit of interest as Pinkie sat at a corner table she had commandeered and covered in various papers, pencils, and a magic eight ball. Pinkie was clearly "in the zone" as she quickly scribbled out a letter then scrunched up her face in concentration mumbling quietly as she carefully proof read what she had written then smiled and resumed her writing.

"Pinkie dear what are you doing?", Mrs. Cake asked curiously as a napping Pound Cake snored quietly as he laid on his mother's back.

Pinkie smiled as she looked up and twirled her pencil on her hoof, "I'm writing out invitations to my cousins for a Cousin Reunion Party next week."

"Oh, which of your cousins will you be inviting over?", Mr. Cake asked as he trotted up to the girls as Pumpkin Cake sleepily nommed on his short mane.

The Cakes were familiar with Pinkie's various cousins through the numerous letters and excited dramatic readings of said letters that Pinkie would give when she received news from her beloved kinfolk.

"Well I'm inviting three of my four favoritest cousins to be specific", Pinkie smiled as she turned to face the Cakes, "I'm inviting Solution Pie, Surprise, and HB."

Misses Cake nodded as she recognized the names from Pinkie's past descriptions, "But Pinkie I thought you told us they didn't exactly get along with each other?"

Pinkie sighed as she turned back to face the table covered in stationery and a over head picture of Ponyville for some reason, "Yeah they do tend to get grumpy and snappy if they spend too much time together, buuut we haven't seen each other in like three years so I think it should be okay for them to spend like a week together without too much fighting. At least I hope so", Pinkie finished lamely.

Mrs. Cake gently passed the sleeping Pound Cake to Mr. Cake to take up to bed for their afternoon nap then turned back to Pinkie, "Well dearie, in my experience, with catering, if there are family members who tend to argue its usually best to keep them preoccupied so they don't have time to argue with each other", Mrs. Cake suggested as she sat beside her goddaughter.

"So if I plan out all sorts of games and stuff to take up a lot of time they won't have the time to argue?", Pinkie ventured as she rolled the pencil under her hoof.

"Exactly", Mrs. Cake affirmed with a nod.

"That's a great idea! Thanks Mrs. Cake", Pinkie chirped as she hugged Mrs. Cake.

"You're quite welcome dearie", Mrs. Cake smiled as she patted Pinkie on the back, "Just remember the rules on having one of your parties at SugarCube Corner: Be sure to clean up afterwards. Don't use cooking supplies that are marked for clients. And.."

"Make sure everypony has a good time!", Pinkie finished with a wide smile.

"Precisely", Mrs. Cake smiled as she got up from the table, "Now don't stay up too late Pinkie I may need some help with an order for five dozen crumpets tomorrow."

"I promise won't stay up too late Mrs. Cake", Pinkie replied before she resumed writing.

------ Later that night ------

Pinkie laid in her bed on her belly rear hooves kicking in rhythm to song she was humming as scribbled out a few ideas between bites of popcorn as Gummy nommed on her poofy mane occasionally.

"Hmm Surprise and HB would probably enjoy a good afternoon of pranks, but Solution might be hard to pry out of her books. So whatcha think Gummy?", Pinkie asked her oddly eyed gator as she held out a piece of paper with a dozen or so activities scribbled out in pink ink.

Gummy for his part blinked out of sync then snapped at the left corner of the list of activity ideas before Pinkie pulled it back and looked it over.

"Hmm good point Gummy", Pinkie replied(?) to Gummy as she crossed out a couple of ideas where he had snapped at the paper, "I should plan out some stuff all three of us could all do together."

Pinkie continued scribbling out ideas and plans as she hummed to herself while three envelopes sat on her night stand each bearing a different mailing address, but each bearing the same town and country destination: Tumberville, Equestria.

----- The next morning -----

SugarCube Corner's mailbox opened with a metal squeak, as usual, when it was opened to receive the day's mail. Normally the mailbox was empty unless Pinkie forgot to check it for the Cakes or if Pinkie decided to give Ditzy her morning muffin personally by popping out of the mailbox.

However, today there was no lonely forgotten mail nor was there a pink spring powered pony-in-a-mailbox to launch out at her this morning. Instead there was, to Ditzy's pleasant surprise, a pipping hot orange cranberry muffin on a plate sitting on three pink envelopes with a small note saying "Special postage payment for the best mailmare in Ponyville!"

While Ditzy prided herself on her quality work with the EPS and had memorized the entire Postal Service Hoofbook and knew that accepting gifts while on duty was clearly against regulations Ditzy knew she had special permission from her boss that if it involved Pinkie "it was not to be considered a regular incident subject to regulations as dictated by the Hoofbook. So just eat the muffin there and quit bringing them into the office!"

So with that in mind Ditzy paused her route to sit and enjoy her special edible postage as she carefully read over the addresses written on the pink envelopes.

"Tumberville, huh?", Ditzy questioned as she counted to make sure there were the correct number of stamps.

She tapped her chin trying to remember the policy on that destination since she accidentally broke the Tumlberville mail portal box last Tuesday with that large ticking singing package.

"Hmm I guess I'll ask if the Doctor can help me delivery these since the special mail box is broken", Ditzy shrugged as she slipped the letters into her saddlebag, "Oh well I doubt it can be that hard to use the TARDIS to help me deliver three letters to Tumberville."

Ditzy hummed a happy tune completely unaware of the severity of the jinxing her statement would cause.

End of Chapter.

The Pony Express?

Doctor Time Turner Whooves or Doctor Whooves or just the Doctor was humming a jovial tune as he laid on his back half way buried inside the base of the main control console of his TARDIS adjusting various settings with his sonic screwdriver and various other high precision tools.

The day had been rather pleasantly quiet, aside from Ditzy waking up that morning in a panic as she realized that she had slept in a whole five minutes past her usual wake up time of five am sharp. As usual when in a work related panic Ditzy left the house in complete and total chaotic disarray that would have made Discord proud: Water all over the bathroom floor, a trail of wet towels to the kitchen, muffin crumbs on the kitchen floor and counter, another wet towel hanging off the ceiling fan, and the door wide open, but thankfully still on the hinges.

And so the Doctor, the repeated savior of the multiverse, adviser to the Princesses in times of crisis, last of the Time Lords, the stallion in charge of all things Timey Wimey, and wanted in five star systems, accepted his fate of being left to play housemaid and clean up after his doting assistant with a sigh.

"It's a wonder Ditzy even gets through her day with so little sleep", the Doctor grumbled as he adjusted the magnetic field stabilizer with a series of hard taps with his hoof until the functionality indicator light turned from a caution indicating yellow to a proper functioning blue, "There we go. Now I just need to calibrate the control dial on the console."

Doctor Whooves hummed as he crawled out from underneath the console then reached into his tool bag fetching out his pulse wrench then proceeded to very carefully set the wrench against the magnetic field stabilizer's control dial. The Doctor slowly, carefully, and delicately started adjusting the sensitivity of the control dial when...

"DOCTOR!? ARE YOU IN HERE!?", Ditzy hollered at near Royal Canterlot Voice levels as she pushed her head inside the TARDIS' door.

"EEP!", the Doctor yelped in a less than dignified manner as Ditzy startled him into snapping the control dial off as he jumped then landed on his back with a painful thud.

"Oh there you are Doctor", Ditzy smiled trotting up to the Doctor as he rubbed his ears grimacing a bit, "What are you doing on the floor?"

The Doctor opened his eyes with a sigh as Ditzy stood over him eyeing him with a confused, but concerned cross eyed look.

"Just trying to adjust a few things before we take another trip", the Doctor said before he sat up, groaning as he spotted the broken control dial dangling by a wire, "And seeing what I need to repair."

"Oh okay", Ditzy smiled as she flapped over and sat down in her favorite chair, which is also the only chair with a swivel and rolling wheels in the TARDIS, "Will it take you along time to fix Doctor?"

"Well it is delicate and very precise work so it may take me till the end of the day", the Doctor explained as he attempted to splice the wires of the control dial back together; a tricky endeavor even with his recent mastery of the hoof grip, "Why? Was there somewhere in particular you wanted to visit?"

"Well you remember Tumberville, right Doctor?", Ditzy asked as she got up and trotted to sit by the Doctor and pulled her saddlebags off setting them down in front of herself.

"Tumberville?", the Doctor asked as he tapped the control dial back into place with his wrench, "Oh yes, the multiverse convergence point for this galaxy on the eastern side of Equestria. What about it Ditzy?"

"I was wondering if you could help me deliver these letters", Ditzy asked as she fished out the three pink envelopes for the Doctor to examine, "Since I kinda broke the Tumberville mail portal box thingy last week", Ditzy said bashfully as the Doctor looked over the envelope's addresses, "I thought it would be faster with the TARDIS than waiting for the Friendship Express to arrive tomorrow."

"Well I don't see why not. Plus it will be fun to visit Tumberville again", the Doctor smiled as he hoofed the letters back to Ditzy then trotted over to the control console flipping several switches and setting a few dials, "I doubt the magnetic stabilizer control dial will cause any serious problems for such a short trip."

-----/////-----

"Me and my big mouth!", the Doctor shouted as he frantically pulled levers and knobs trying to stabilize the TARDIS' flight path as it veered left and right violently.

"It's not much worse than usual", Ditzy remarked casually as she sat in her favorite chair; it's wheels squeaking a bit as it rolled across the floor while she idly ate a chocolate chip muffin.

"Not the point!", the Doctor shouted as tried to recalibrate the stabilizer control dial with his screwdriver in one hoof the other gripping the console desperately.

The TARDIS gave a low rumble shaking the inside of the ship and bumping Ditzy out of her chair before it finally ceased shaking like a can in a high speed tumble dryer.

"And here we are", Doctor sighed in relief as he sat on his haunches setting his sonic screwdriver on the console, "Decent lading all things considered."

Ditzy nodded as she slipped her saddlebags on, "Seems to me like it gets more tumbly when you try to repair something", Ditzy observed as she and the Doctor trotted casually to the TARDIS' doors.

"Not every time", the Doctor grumbled as he opened the TARDIS' door revealing an alleyway leading to Tumblerville's market square.

The alley however was blocked by a light tan pegasus stallion with neon pink eyes and matching striped mane and tail who stared at the Doctor and Ditzy as they stood in the TARDIS' doorway with a wide shocked, if twitchy, eyes.

The Doctor and Ditzy shared a glance before the Doctor ventured, "I um can expl.."

"ALIENS!", the stallion screamed wings flaring out in fear.

"What?", the Doctor sputtered.

"Aliens that look like ponies!!", the stallion screamed as he spun around on his hooves before running away screaming hysterically, "No! No probes!! No, I refuse to have more tracking implants!", as he bolted clumsily down the alleyway.

Doctor Whooves stood completely dumbfounded at the scene reflexively saying, "What?"

"Um I'm pretty sure that was Crackpot", Ditzy explained as she trotted up to the Doctor, "He's um a bit off", Ditzy explained as she twirled a hoof at the side of her head.

"I see", The Doctor stated still a bit confused.

"Yeah he's kinda weird."

"Sooo who is first on the delivery list?", the Doctor inquired trying to change to a more stable topic.

"Hmm looks like our first stop is at Pinkie "Solution" Pie's address", Ditzy answered as she read over the first envelope.

"Right, lead the way my dear Ditzy", the Doctor said with a slight flourish earning a giggle from Ditzy.

----- Meanwhile -----

"Dreamy have you seem my book titled Family and Related Problems for Eggheads?", inquired a pink earth pony wearing glasses with a poofy cotton candy mane and tail and a cutie mark of a trio of balloons.

"You mean this one Pinkie?", replied a light grey blank flank filly with messy blonde mane and slightly skewed eyes as she held up a blue book of the searched for title.

"Ah that's the one", Pinkie "Solution" Pie beamed as she took the book from her helpful assistant, "Thanks Dreamy."

"Ma'am! You are welcome, Ma'am!", Dreamy replied sharply as she gave her 'boss" a mock salute before they both gave into the giggles.

"So whatcha need that book for Pinkie?", Dreamy asked before sipping on her milk box.

"Well I've been getting the Pinkie Sense combo of: itchy left front hoof, wiggly right ear, and tingly spine", Solution Pie answered as she adjusted her glasses then flipped through the book looking for a specific chapter, "Last time I had that Combo there was an unscheduled Pie Family Reunion, so I figured I'd better brush up on my family interaction skills."

"Do you not like your family, Pinkie?", Dreamy asked tilting her head as her ear twitched.

"What? Oh no, no, no, thats not it."

"Are you embarrassed of them?"

"No, of course not Dreamy", Pinkie tried to explain as she trotted to the kitchen.

"Do they annoy you?", Dreamy asked as she followed Pinkie through the house.

Pinkie Solution Pie paused for a moment then motioned for Dreamy to sit with her at the kitchen table. "Well it's um not my family per se", Solution Pie explained as she sat and nervously adjusted her glasses, "It's my cousins. You remember Surprise and Hot Blooded Pinkie right?"

Dreamy nods as she sips on her milk box.

"And how they followed us all last summer during our vacation?"

Dreamy nodded then her ears perked up with realization, "Oh I get it Pinkie. Your cousins are fun and crazy, but after awhile over um overexposure can lead to um being burned out and exhausted."

Solution Pie raised an eyebrow smiling, "I see somefilly has been working on their vocabulary."

"Maybe", Dreamy giggled.

"Anyways. Yes, Dreamy I love my cousins, but they can drive me totally crazy sometimes", Solution Pie said as she twirled her eyes for emphasis.

"So does that mean your Combo is saying they might come visit us again since the summer has started?"

"Honestly I'm not sure. Last I heard Surprise got a job at a joke shop so that'll eat up a lot of her time", Solution Pie explained as got up and poured herself a tall glass of chocolate milk, "And HB sent that letter about spending the summer 'conquering mars'. Whatever that means."

Dreamy nodded half listening as she watched Solution Pie's glass of chocolate milk intently.

"Dreamy, you already had a glass of chocolate milk", Solution Pie said holding the glass off the table.

"But it's chocolate", Dreamy pouted.

Solution Pie held her ground against the onslaught of adorable, "Dreamy you know you're only allowed one glass of chocolate..."

Pinkie Solution Pie and Dreamy's attention was called to the door as somepony knocked three times.

"I'll get it!", Dreamy chirped as she darted out of the kitchen.

Solution Pie just sighed then down her chocolate milk, "Mmm liquid happy."

---///---

Dreamy trotted to the door and opened it cheerily saying, "Welcome to Pinkie Pie Solution Serv...",

Dreamy's eyes widened as she recognized the mare that was standing at the front door with a lopsided smile, messy blonde mane, crossed eyes, and an envelope in her hoof.

"AUNTIE DITZY!!", Dreamy squealed as she tackle hugged Ditzy knocking her off her hooves.

The scene left the Doctor with only the ability to very eloquently blurt out, "What?"

Letters and Signatures

Archivist's Notation: If you're gonna Favorite the story please please please Like it as well. I'm not trying to be egotistical, but those Likes are surprisingly encouraging.

------//////------

Letters and Signatures

"You're here! You're here! You're here!", Dreamy repeated excitedly as she hopped around a still slightly dazed Ditzy.

The Doctor watched in mild amusement after recovering from the slight shock of seeing the grey filly affectionately tackle his assistant off her hooves. The scene reminded the Doctor a bit of the times Dinky would excitedly welcome them back after a few days of TARDIS travel.

"Dreamy? What's all the ruckus about?", Solution Pie inquired as she trotted to the front door.

"Auntie Ditzy is here!", Dreamy smiled up at Solution Pie as Ditzy got back up on her hooves.

"And so is the Doctor", the Doctor helpfully pointed out as Solution trotted out the door.

"Celestia forbid somepony not mention you", Ditzy snarked as she rolled her eyes.

"Now Ditzy I'm just being polite and introducing myself", the Doctor defended rather pathetically.

"Uh huh", Ditzy replied about as convinced as usual as she picked up the letter and dusted it off.

"What? It is too polite", the Doctor further attempted justify his self insert.

Ditzy merely eyed the Doctor in a disbelief as obvious as a Sontaran in a Silurean marching parade. The Doctor was quickly trying to think of another strategic verbal defensive maneuver, when their postal recipient provided a helpful distraction.

"Um not to be rude", Solution Pie interjected politely with a quirked eyebrow, "but what brings the two of you here to Tumberville?"

"I brought you a letter!", Ditzy beamed as she held up the pink envelope in her hoof.

"Direct from Ponyville?", Pinkie Solution Pie blinked in surprise as she accepted the letter from Ditzy.

"Yep. The Tumberville mail portal thingy isn't working right now", Ditzy explained as Solution Pie read over the letter with raised eyebrows.

"A Cousin Reunion?", Solution Pie said aloud as she read the pink letter.

"So you're Pinkie Sense was right", Dreamy giggled, "Oh oh oh can I come with you?"

Solution Pie hummed as she folded the letter back into it's envelope weighing her options carefully. "Hmm I haven't seen Pinks in three years. It'd be nice to see how she's doing, but since its a reunion Surprise and HB will definitely be there too", Solution Pie looked down at Dreamy, who was pleading with her usual pouty face, Solution Pie smiled and ruffled Dreamy's mane, "However, if I don't go I can guarantee HB and Surprise will show up to drag me to the reunion."

"So are we going?", Dreamy giggled as her mane was ruffled.

"You betcha!", Pinkie Solution Pie beamed at her assistant.

"Yay!", Dreamy and Ditzy replied together to the good news earning an amused laugh from the Doctor and Solution Pie.

"As soon as we your parents permission that is", Solution Pie amended after a moments thought.

---///---

"So invitation delivered and acceptance of said invitation confirmed. Sign at the top then initial at the third box", Ditzy said guiding Solution Pie to the appropriate signature spots on her EPS confirmation papers as Dreamy clung to her aunt's leg in an affectionate vice grip.

"Okay that's all the signatures I need. Thanks", Ditzy smiled after double checking her papers carefully.

"No problem Ditzy. Now then Dreamy we really do have quite a bit of packing to do if you're gonna come with me to Ponyville", Solution Pie explained to her assistant, who still clung to her aunt, "And Ditzy and the Doctor still have the other invitations to deliver", Solution explained in hopes to avoid having to retrieve her Dreamy hug pry bar (patent pending, so don't even think about it).

"Aww, but they just got here", Dreamy looked up with a heart melting pout.

"She's right Dreamy. I still have two other deliveries to make", Ditzy confirmed as she hugged her dear niece, "but I'm sure we'll see each other once you two get to Ponyville."

"Okay auntie Ditzy", Dreamy smiled as she let go of her aunt's leg.

"Don't worry Dreamy there should be plenty of time for you to visit me, Dinky, and Sparkler while you and Miss Pie are staying in Ponyville. So I'll see you there", Ditzy said as she tucked her clipboard into her saddlebag giving Dreamy a good bye hug before she went to fetch the Doctor.

--//--

"Now then Dreamy we have packing to do!", Solution Pie declared as she closed the door, "You get the books and I'll get the suitcases."

"Ma'am! Yes, ma'am!", Dreamy declared with a mock salute before she darted up the stairs giggling.

Pinkie Solution Pie smiled as her assistant went up stairs then glanced over at a photo of her and her cousins on the coffee table. It was from when they were at a Pie Family Reunion from several years ago, shortly after they all got their Cutie Marks.

The photo showed four matching pink fillies and a white blonde pegasus, all of them with bright smiles as they held each other in a tight group hug.

She sighed softly thinking of fond memories of games, adventures, and frustrations her and her beloved cousins would often cause when they were younger. She ignored the bittersweet tinge of memories from the reunion after the one in the photo brought to her mind with a deeper more thoughtful sigh, "You only sent out three invitations Pinks."

Pinkie Solution Pie slipped her glasses off her looking them over between her hooves as she thought over the situation. She knew it would be good to see and be with her three cousins again together after so long, but she couldn't completely dismiss the thought that only three invitations were sent out, not four. It wasn't entirely a surprise though; the last encounter between Pinks and her had almost guaranteed to create a divide between those two that would....

"Pinkie which books did you want me to get for packing?", Dreamy called from upstairs pulling Solution Pie out of her thoughts.

"I'll show you once I get up stairs Dreamy", Solution Pie slipped her glasses back on then sighed once more; deciding she could dwell on her cousins and how to fix that situation later, for now there were preparations to put in order.

----////-----

The Doctor, for his part, had been patiently waiting the paperwork out by watching the various Tumberville counterparts of some the ponies he knew from Ponyville as they meandered about the town square tending to various errands.

Until Ditzy tapped him on the shoulder smiling with her usual bubbly brightness, "Okay Doctor we're ready for the next stop."

"Splendid", the Doctor smiled back as he got up and trotted along with Ditzy, "So where might our next stop be, my dear mailmare?"

Ditzy fished out the letter squinting as she read the address, "Hmm our next address is for Surprise Pie in Tumblerville, Cloudsdale."

"Ooh Tumblerfied Cloudsdale that ought to be fun", the Doctor replied excitedly as he and Ditzy approached the TARDIS, "I can finally test out those antigravity horseshoes I invented."

"Um Doctor didn't the last set you made end up floating into space?" Ditzy inquired with a bit of concern.

"Well not space technically. They only made it up to the mesosphere before disintegrating and that's only 49.7 miles above the surface of Equis", the Doctor explained as they entered the TARDIS.

"Fifty miles?!", Ditzy exclaimed, "Doctor not even the strongest pegasi can go that high!"

"There's still enough oxygen in the air that I can breathe even at that altitude", the Doctor said dismissively as he closed the door then trotted to the control console.

Only to be intercepted by Ditzy who leveled her best cross eyed glare at the Doctor as she hovered between him and the console.

"Oh Ditzy don't give me that look", he groaned only to be countered by Ditzy's glare and defiant snort.

"It's not safe Doctor", Ditzy stated as she poked him in the chest to emphasize her point, "Plus you know I'm not that fast of a flier."

"Fine fine I'll test them some other time", the Doctor conceded with a sigh, painfully aware Ditzy was stubborn enough to hold her point for as long as needed to win an argument; as proven by one particularly heated spat between Ditzy and Sparkler (Ah the joys of teenagers).

"Good, the last I need is to go chase you down while you float away like a balloon", Ditzy said with a satisfied nod as she flapped over to her favorite chair.

"Yes, mother", the Doctor groused as he set the destination into the TARDIS' control console.

"Don't take that tone with me Doctor or I won't make you those strawberry jammy dodgers", Ditzy said wagging a hoof at him.

"Oh that's hardly fair...", the Doctor started in a petulant tone before the TARDIS' engines drowned out his protests.

End of Chapter

Happy Little Cloud Cannon

Happy Little Cloud Cannon

At an undisclosed location in Tumberville, Cloudsdale two ponies are at their rendezvous point....

"I dunno Surprise this doesn't look like it'd be very good for a stealth entry", a skeptical orange pegasus filly with a purple mane and wearing a black commando turtleneck sweater said as she examined a rather large bazooka like pegasus launching device, or Cloud Cannon for short as Surprise had called it.

"How do you figure? It's painted the same color pattern as the sky so it pretty easily blends into the background of the sky", a perky white pegasus pony with a poofy blonde mane and vibrant purple eyes countered rather enthusiastically, "The sky, Stalker. It blends in with the sky. How is that not stealthy?"

"Well for one: I'm not exactly Best Young Flier material Surprise so a cloud launching platform is a bit useless", the filly stated in a rather annoyed tone.

"Stalker, you literally have two years till Flight Camp", the white pegasus groaned.

"Still pretty useless till I get my official flying lessons."

"Fine fine I guess that's a good point", Surprise sighed as she kicked the cloud surface of Cloudsdale "ground".

"Second: I seriously I doubt this thing is quiet when fired", Stalker said as she tapped the steel barrel.

Surprise's right eye started twitching ever so slightly.

"Plus it's shoulder mounted. Whose gonna be the pony wearing and aiming it?", Stalker said eyeing the cannon over.

Surprise grinned like a Cheshire Cat as she sauntered over and picked up then slipped the Cloud Cannon onto her shoulder, "Simple my little Stalkerloo. I, Surprise, the mare of many talents and skills, shall wield it!", Surprise exclaimed with the Cloud Cannon on her right shoulder as pointed it dramatically at the empty sky.

"You're just hurting for cupcake money after last week's "accident" and want the Friendship Patrol to overpay you to fire me at unsuspecting ponies as part of a prank", Stalker deadpanned.

"That is soo not true! Besides it's not my fault the exploding whoopie cushions shipping box was not properly marked and exploded when I dropped it!"

Stalker continued her deadpan stare.

"It's completely unfair that I have to pay for all the repairs to the joke shop!"

"Because you didn't know the meaning of the word "fragile"?", Stalker asked with a smirk.

"Well duh I don't read fancy", Surprise explained rather desperately, "It's been like a whole three days since I had a cupcake!"

"So that's why you want 120 bits for this cannon. Because that's how much a gross of SugarCube Corner cupcakes cost!", Stalker said as she pointed a hoof accusingly at Surprise.

Surprise's right eye twitched as she ground her teeth and grabbed Stalker and lifted her up by her commando sweater.

"DON'T YOU BUCK THIS UP FOR ME!", Surprise shrieked shaking Stalker wildly in desperation, "I NEED MY CUPCAKE MONEY!"

The scene would have continued like a moon sugar junky desperately trying to convince a pawn shop owner of the legitimacy of her goods, if not for the familiar sound of time and space being folded and manipulated as the manifestation of a blue police call box called the complete attention of both Surprise and a now very dazed Stalker.

-- meanwhile; like a minute or two ago --

"Always shudders when we land on clouds", the Doctor grumbled thoughtfully as he set and locked the TARDIS in it's landing spot.

"Probably has to do with the Cloud Circuit being kept in place by duct tape", Ditzy observed as she finished off a banana nut muffin.

"Ah well um....maybe", the Doctor stuttered with a sheepish grin as he set the parking brake on the TARDIS.

"Did we set down near Surprise?", Ditzy asked as she looked out the TARDIS' door window seeing nothing, but clouds, "You said you could land near by her since it's usually pretty hard to find her and I need signatures for this type of delivery."

"It should. Unless I put the coordinates diagonal and we ended up at the Factory again", the Doctor said looking over the coordinates again.

Ditzy shuddered at the very mention of that place. "Can we please never talk about the Master's disgusting place ever again?"

"Agreed my dear assistant. Although I do believe I will have to deal with it at some point", the Doctor stated with steely reserve, "But for now we need to deliver that letter of yours", he finished with a cheery smile.

"You mean the letter I need to deliver since you are not testing those antigravity shoes", Ditzy said as she flew between the Doctor and the TARDIS' door.

"Of course, of course", the Doctor sighed in defeat hoping to have pulled a fast one on his assistant.

"Besides you can tinker with the TARDIS' control console thingy while I'm out", Ditzy said as she slipped her mail bags on.

"Well yes that is true", the Doctor agreed a bit reluctantly as he went to the door, "Here at least let me open the door while you get your saddlebags on."

-- presently --

The Doctor opened the door of the TARDIS for his assistant and to maybe take a peek and check the landing area for a antigravity horseshoe test spot, but instead was only greeted by a dazed orange pegasus filly sticking out of the barrel of a large sky blue shoulder mounted Cloud Cannon aimed directly at his face.

"DIE! ALIEN SLIME!!", Surprise shrieked as she aimed the Stalker loaded Cloud Cannon at the Doctor.

"What!?" The Doctor blurted.

Only to receive the extremely loud report of KABOOOM as Surprise fired the Cloud Cannon with extreme prejudice at the would be slimy alien world conquerer.

Which would've been more dramatic and impressive if the projectile Surprise had fired wasn't a dazed and now screaming orange filly.

The Doctor reacted purely on instinct formed from centuries of having strange things fired at him and ducked as the Stalker projectile whizzed over his head brushing his messy mane as she shot over and past the Doctor and barreled towards his assistant. Ditzy squealed than was whammed into by Stalker knocking her off her hooves sending them both tumbling to the other end of the TARDIS' main chamber.

"DITZY!", the Doctor shouted.

"Oh no. Oh no. Oh no", Surprise cried out worriedly as she dropped her Cannon and rushed inside the TARDIS to check on Ditzy. Oh and her projectile filly.

Ditzy and Stalker both groaned in a tangled mess of legs and Ditzy's saddle bags.

"Ditzy are you okay?!", the Doctor worriedly pleaded as he gently lifted her head, "Speak to me Ditzy!"

"Muuffffiin?", Ditzy dizzily groaned out as her eyes twirled in their sockets.

"Ugh my head", Stakler groaned.

The Doctor glared at Surprise, who returned it with a sheepish smile. "Um sorry?"

The Doctor ignored her as he helped Ditzy up while Stalker laid on the TARDIS' floor still dazed as she rubbed her head while groaning softly.

"I'm really really sorry about that Stalker", Surprise said genuinely as she helped her young friend back up on her hooves.

"Su...surprise. You're a terrible po..pony Surprise", Stalker said as she sat dizzy and pointing a swaying hoof in Surprise's general direction, "All three er four of you Surpriseses are terrible ponies."

"Ugh sometimes I swear I'm the only sane pony in the world", Ditzy groaned as she shook her head getting her eyes to mostly line back up.

"On any other day I'd take offense to that", the Doctor grinned glad his assistant was okay, "As for you Miss trigger happy", the Doctor glared.

"Sorry sorry sorry I'm sooo super sorry I shot Stalker at you I thought you guys were some kind of mind controlling evil alien worm monsters disguised as ponies", Surprise babbled out quickly.

"Ugh you watch too many alien movies, Surprise", Stalker griped as she rubbed a small bruise on her head.

"Well excuuuuuuusse me for having a taste for the fine cinema!"

"Martian Worm Ponies Ate My Brain is fine cinema?", Stalker deadpanned.

"Not my fault you're not old enough to appreciate a good sci-fi B-movie", Surprise retorted maturely as she stuck her tongue out at Stalker.

"How exactly are you the adult here?", Stalker asked in utter disbelief.

"I'm not an adult. I am a happy-stir", Surprise replied proudly before adding, "Whatever that means."

Stalker simply face hoofed with a groan, "Even Vinyl isn't this bad."

Surprise was about to retort with a very mature raspberry in Stalker's face when Ditzy tapped her on the shoulder.

"I have a delivery for you", Ditzy smiled as she held out said letter.

--//--

"A REUNION?!?", Surprise shrieked happily as she read over the letter/invitation.

"Not so loud please", Ditzy winced.

"Oh sorry! It's just I haven't Pinks in such a long long long time", Surprise beamed as she started scribbling her name and initials on Ditzy's delivery confirmation papers.

"So the rumors are true", the now not dazed Stalker said as she looked around the TARDIS' main chamber, "It is bigger on the inside."

The Doctor beamed at the attention of the orange filly as she examined his beloved TARDIS with awe.

"Well I don't like to brag, but...", the Doctor started.

"If I had a bit for every time you said that I'd be swimming in muffins", only to be interrupted by Ditzy as she tried to get Surprise to sign on the correct lines on her EPS forms.

Stalker just laughed at the pair of time travelers, "You guys remind me of my parents."

"Oh that reminds me!", Surprise gasped causing the pen she was writing with to leave a zig zag across Ditzy's papers causing the mailmare to groan; which Surprise was oblivious to, "Stalker be sure to tell Vinyl that I'll be busy with the reunion and won't be able to deliver that prank collapsing cello she ordered."

"Alright Surprise I'll tell her", Stalker replied only half listening as she sneakily pulled her spy camera out of her commando sweater.

"Ah uh uh", the Doctor said as he snatched up the spy camera, "No photographs. I don't need anypony trying to make a TARDIS of their own. I might lose my copyrights", the Doctor grinned cheekily as he held the camera out of Stalker's reach as the filly grumbled.

"Okay that's all the correct lines signed finally", Ditzy sighed as she looked over the fifth set of papers she had Surprise sign, "So that's all I have for you."

"Sweet! Now I can go pack", Surprise grinned as she tucked the letter into her poofy blonde mane.

"Oh before you go Surprise. You wouldn't happen to know where Hot Blooded Pinkie is? The Doctor can't seem to find her on his locating search engine thingy", Ditzy asked as she nodded towards the Doctor as he was trying to keep the spy camera out of Stalker's reach as the filly tried to climb on him.

"Oh that's easy", Surprise chirped as she pulled a vibrant red 15" x 20" square stone block out of her mane letting it land on the floor with a loud THUNK, "I got this letter from her a couple weeks ago at the start of summer."

"How...how did you even fit that in your mane?", the Doctor asked with a bewildered look as Stalker snatched her camera out of his hoof.

"Same rule as with Pinkie, Doc", Stalker said as she wiped the lens of her camera clean.

"And that is?"

"We do not question the ways of Pinkie Pie", Ditzy and Stalker intoned simultaneously.

"That doesn't make any sense!", the Doctor protested.

"Precisely!", Surprise beamed as she trotted to the TARDIS' door, "Come on Stalker I'll give ya lift to Fyrefly's house."

"Sweet!", Stalker beamed excitedly as she hopped onto Surprise's back, "Rainbow Dash's Grandma makes the coolest cookies!"

"See ya!", Surprise called out as she flew out of the TARDIS.

Ditzy smiled waving as the Doctor started inspecting the stone letter.

"So what's it say Doctor?", Ditzy asked as she put her EPS paperwork into her saddlebags.

"Hmm if I'm reading this correctly", the Doctor replied as he squinted at the world's heavy form of stationary, "Hot Blooded Pinkie is spending her summer, and I quote, 'Taming the red planet and riding the sand worms into the sunset'."

Ditzy's reply was a blank cross eyed stare.

"She's on Mars doing who knows what."

"Oh well why didn't you say so?", Ditzy replied as she flapped over and sat in her chair, "How long will it take to get to Mars anyways, Doctor?"

"Hmm maybe an hour or two", the Doctor said as he started typing in a few commands into the control console, "Should be a simple smooth flight", the Doctor smiled proudly.

"I would think by now you'd know how dangerous jinxing is Doctor", Ditzy said as she fastened her seatbelt.

"Oh please jinxes are just superstition", the Doctor countered as he flipped a switch.

"Uh huh, sure they are."

"Ditzy I will proooooooove!!", the Doctor bellowed as the TARDIS shifted to the left HARD as it took off, knocking the Doctor off his hooves.

"Good thing I'm above such things as saying 'Told you so'", Ditzy said matter-of-factly.

"Lucky me", the Doctor groaned from the floor.

End of Chapter

Archivist's Notation:
Yes, "Die! Alien Scum" was a reference to a Commodore 64 game. Crap I feel old now.

It began in the rain

Cousins

"It's raining! It's pouring! The old mare is snoring!", Pinkie Pie sang aloud as she pounced from puddle to puddle splashing as much as possible, "She bumped her head and couldn't get up in the morning!"

Pinkie giggled as she pranced in place splashing in the cool summer rain puddles.

"Pinkie, what are you doing in the rain?", a familiar voice questioned with even more familiar confusion.

Pinkie glanced up from the puddle and grinned at Twilight, who watched with a perplexed look from the library's kitchen window.

"Oh hi Twilight. Just enjoying the summer rain", Pinkie answered as she hopped out of the rain puddle and hopped towards the window.

"Well that's one way to enjoy the rain", Twilight smiled at her friend's silly behavior.

"Plus it's a free shower. Although I forgot my soap this time", Pinkie said as she tapped her chin considering the options of going back to Sugar Cube Corner to get her bubblegum scented and flavored soap on a rope.

Twilight meanwhile just shook her head at her friend with an amused smile before an idea struck her.

"Oh Pinkie wanna come in for some hot chocolate?"

"You betcha!"

"Okay just let me get the door for you", Twilight said as backed up from the window to turn and go open the door for Pinkie, but instead she turned only to end up nose to nose with a grinning Pinkie.

"PINKIE!", Twilight nearly shrieked as back peddled into the sink a faint blush across her cheeks.

"Yes, Twilight?", Pinkie replied nonchalantly.

"When did? How?", Twilight sputtered as she glanced from the window to a perfectly dry Pinkie.

"Well duh, you invited me in silly", Pinkie giggled in response as if it was the most natural and perfectly logical explanation in the world.

Twilight blinked then rubbed her forehead with a sigh.

'It's fine. It's fine Twilight. Just Pinkie being her usual physics defying self. Don't think about. Don't think about it.'

The purple mare repeated her mantra in her head as she rubbed away the starting twinges of a headache. Only to be derailed by the sound of various cabinets being opened.

"Pots are in the third bottom cabinet from the sink Pinkie", Twilight replied to the unasked question without so much as opening her eyes.

"Thanks!" Pinkie chirped appreciatively.

'Well at least I'm getting used to Pinkie's cooking ingredient kleptomania. Granted I did start this.'

Twilight chuckled as she watched Pinkie set the pot on the stove pour the milk into the pot and set the dial with a baker's practiced ease, but still eyed the dial with a hefty amount of concentration for the perfect simmering temperature.

"I got a new type of hot chocolate mix a few days ago I've been wanting to try. Although I've never heard of the brand before", Twilight said as she pulled the box from the top cabinet levitating a yellow box with the words "The Dalokohs Bar Hot Chocolate Mix" written in bold blue letters with the assurance of "IS DELICIOUS!!" beneath the name for Pinkie to examine.

"Oh I know that brand! It's just like the box says", Pinkie grinned as she stood on her hind legs one hoof on her hip the other pointing dramatically as she intoned, "'IS DELICIOUS!'", in a thick Moscowvian accent.

Twilight sat there blinking for a moment torn between telling her friend the severity of her grammatical error or asking how Pinkie even knew how to do a near perfect Moscowvian accent. Instead Twilight settled for the most reliable way to avert a Pinkie Pie induced mental quantum lock catatonic state:

"So it is better than the regular brands?"

Ignore any and all paradoxes and push forward.

"Oh you betcha it is", Pinkie beamed as she took the box from Twilight and added two perfectly precise cups of Dalokohs Bar Hot Chocolate Mix to the warming milk in the pot.

"So whatcha been doing on your rainy day Twilight?", Pinkie asked as she idly stirred the hot chocolate.

"Well with Spike away at Summer Dragon Camp I decided to review some alchemy journals", Twilight responded with a smile always happy to share her knowledge, "I've been debating on testing the probability of creating a teleportation potion," Twilight finished as she pulled a pair of mugs from the cabinet with her telekinesis.

"Ooh sounds like a great way to set off a surprise party!", Pinkie practically beamed, "Just imagine! I could set up a party then get the guest honor to drink the potion and ZAP they would be in the middle of the bestest decorated party room and be totally surprised because I set up far far away where nopony couldn't sneak peeks at the party before its ready!", Pinkie said as she excitedly stirred the pot of milk chocolate confectionary concoction.

Twilight blinked a few times processing the proposition her hyper friend had made, "Well Pinkie it's just conjecture at this point. I'm not even sure I could make the potion."

"Aww come on Twilight", Pinkie glanced back at her bookworm friend as she stirred the hot chocolate, "You're like the smartest smarty pants pony in Ponyville. I'm sure you could figure it out."

Twilight blushed a bit at the compliment, "Well with enough time I probably could figure out how to make a teleportation potion, but right now it's iffy at best," Twilight stated with a smile as she held out the mugs to be filled.

Pinkie however had paused halfway through dunking the ladle into the chocolate mix as her ear twitched a bit as she looked at Twilight with a slightly blank stare as if lost in thought.

"Um Pinkie?", Twilight looked her friend over with some concern.

Pinkie blinked rapidly then shook her head a bit, "Huh? Oh sorry Twilight you just reminded me of one of my cousins", Pinkie explained before she resumed filling the mugs with the piping hot chocolate.

"How did I...wait you have extended family?", Twilight inquired with a slightly surprised look.

"Well yeah I have like four cousins I used to hang out with a whole lot before I moved to Ponyville", Pinkie explained as she followed Twilight to the kitchen table.

"Really?", Twilight asked as she sat at the table with Pinkie, "What are they like, if you don't mind me asking."

While Twilight had given up on figuring out many of the mysteries that were the pink party pony. The majority of the few questions she did wonder about were concerned with Pinkie's family. Since it was a topic Pinkie herself never really brought up and sometimes even avoided in conversation. As such Twilight, while curious, was never really sure how to approach the apparently sensitive topic. So any information that Pinkie was willing to share was definitely worth listening to .

Pinkie squinted looking up at the ceiling for a moment as she sat at the table with her hot chocolate, "Well there's my cousin Surprise for one. She's a perky white pegasus with a blonde mane and very excitable, but she's not as much into parties as I am", Pinkie explained before siping on her hot chocolate.

Twilight was listening to Pinkie's descriptions with quite a bit of interest although, "Um excitable?", the thought of pony being "excitable" by even Pinkie standards was a bit concerning.

"Oh yeah she's a bit wacky, but she's a very good pony. Her last letter said she was working at a joke shop in Cloudsdale. She also likes sweets like me and my other cousins!"

"And your other cousins?", Twilight ventured after taking a sip of her hot chocolate, "Wow this is really good."

Pinkie nodded with a giggle, "Told ya it was a delicious brand," then down the rest of her hot chocolate in one gulp.

Pinkie hummed as she got and refilled her mug. Twilight continue sipping on her mug waiting for Pinkie to sit back down before trying to prompt more about her family.

"So you have three other cousins that used to spend a lot time with you and your sisters?"

"Yeppers, my other cousin is a real smarty pants. Kinda like you Twilight except she's an earth pony. She even has a small solution finding service she runs with her assistant", Pinkie explained before pausing to sip on her hot chocolate.

"Solution finding service?", asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah ponies send her questions and problems and she figures out how to fix 'em for a small fee."

"Huh, that sounds like a pretty good business", Twilight replied as she took a mental note to look it up later, "So what's her name?"

"Oh right. Her name is Pinkie Pie, just like me and we're about the same age, but I'm a couple months older", Pinkie explained as Twilight got up to refill her mug.

"Wait you both have the same name?", Twilight asked as she refilled her own mug mentally noting they were already half way through the small pot and that Pinkie would probably leave a short time after it was emptied, "Wouldn't that be confusing?"

"Well it's a Pie family tradition that any pink filly born into the Pie family is to be named Pinkie", Pinkie explained as Twilight sat back down, "But like you said Twilight that would cause all sorts of confusion with multiple Pinkies at the family meets and reunions so we usually use nicknames for the younger fillies who are also named Pinkie."

"Wow that's pretty clever", Twilight smiled at the rather logical explanation.

"Yeppers peppers it is", Pinkie chirped with a nod, "Her nickname is Solution Pie, since she was always good at figuring out solutions."

"Well that makes sense", Twilight giggled.

"Then there's my other cousin Pinkie. She's also an earth pony. Her nickname is Hot Blooded Pie or HB for short.", Pinkie grinned as she explained thinking back on some of the adventures she, her sisters, and cousins used to have.

"Hot Blooded? How'd she get that nickname?", Twilight asked before sipping down her hot chocolate.

"Well HB has always been a very um", Pinkie tapped her chin trying to think of an appropriate word as she remembered a particularly hot blooded incident involving the cry of "SHOW ME YOUR WAR FACE" after Surprise was teased once about her indulgence of chocolate and her weight and the resulting guttural screams and a cloud cannon launched piñata offensive, "Um let's just say she's a very intense pony at times."

'Why does that make me a bit nervous?', Twilight thought as she blinked a few times at that description.

"Well she's not a bad pony, just very intense", Pinkie explained while toying her empty mug between her hooves, "Mind if I get the last of the hot chocolate Twilight?"

"Go ahead Pinkie", Twilight smiled, "I've had my fill already, although I'm craving a sandwich now."

Pinkie giggled as she got up and trotted to the stove eyeing the hot chocolate pot with almost predatory glee. If the pot could have shuddered in fearful anticipation at the glee in Pinkie Pie's eyes it certainly would have.

"Wait a second", Twilight tapped her chin a few times thinking back to a movie Rainbow Dash had gushed about for an hour last month, "Hot blooded as in a reference to the character type in those Neighpony anime movies that uses the same name?"

"Oh yeah that's for sure", Pinkie laughed as she tipped the pot to get the very last drop of hot chocolate into her mug, "HB kinda picked her own nickname. At one of the Pie family reunions she showed us one of those big action packed Neighpony anime movies then declared herself Hot Blooded Pinkie Pie. Everpony pretty much agreed it fit her so the name stuck", Pinkie explained before she down the rest of her hot chocolate.

"Huh sounds her and Rainbow Dash would get along if they could spend time together. Although I'd rather meet your cousin Solution Pie", Twilight chuckled then looked to see Pinkie frozen mid stride to the sink, "Um Pinkie? You okay?"

Pinkie Pie stayed stock still as Twilight got up to slowly trotting to her side her concern growing.

"Pinkie are you okay?", Twilight asked with genuine concern as nudged Pinkie with a hoof.

Pinkie Pie slowly turned her head to face Twilight. Twilight took a step back as a grin slowly spread from ear to ear on Pinkie's face as she started shaking Twilight felt her concern slowly replaced by panic as she finally realized what was happening.

Twilight had only heard about this particular form Pinkie's excitable nature and was very doubtful her library would survive. The tension growing simultaneously in Pinkie and the atmosphere as her grin stretched into pure joy.

"Oh"

"Pinkie", Twilight said warily.

"My"

"Pinkie please don't..."

"OH MY GOSH TWILIGHT THAT'S A SUPER DUPER IDEA!!!", Pinkie shrieked in pure joy as she bounced around the kitchen like rubber ball fired from a potato gun.

Twilight, for her part, reacted quite promptly.

"Oh dear sweet Celestia!", Twilight yelped as she ducked for cover, "Pinkie calm down!"

"WE CAN ALL MEET HERE!!"

"Pinkie!"

"I CAN SHOW THEM PONYVILLE!!"

"Pinkie Pie!"

"We can have a Super Pinkie Pie Party!!", Pinkie squeed as she hopped on place on top of the kitchen table.

"PINKIE PIE!", Twilight shrieked in desperation.

"Sorry Twilight I can't stay and play the Shouting Game!", Pinkie declared as she bounded towards the door, "I have too much planning to do!"

"Planning for what!?", Twilight fumbled on her hooves as she tried to catch up to Pinkie panting as she made it to the open door only to see a pink blur darting to SugarCube Corner.

"Planing for what?", Twilight panted softly to herself.

Glancing to her mailbox Twilight saw the red flag waving in the light breeze in the "mail received" position.

Twilight was still confused on what just happened with Pinkie, but with a sigh she resigned to mark it under "Pinkie being Pinkie" category at least for today as she levitated her open umbrella and went to pick up her mail. Twilight quirked an eyebrow as she pulled out only one letter in a soft pink envelope with a sticker of a rock on it and no return or sending address on it.

Twilight hummed in curiosity wondering what mail could or would be delivered on a Sunday. Twilight opened the envelope as she slowly trotted inside after slipping her umbrella into it's stand.

Twilight felt a cold dread creeping from her hooves up to her horn as she read the letter.

"No, no please. Oh merciful Faust please no", Twilight muttered as her eyes refused to interrupt the words in any other way than how they were written.

The letter read in smooth even hoofmareship simply this:

You're invited to the first ever Pinkie Cousins Reunion to be held at SugarCube Corner and Ponyville in general! No RSVP needed! No gifts needed. All food and refreshments will be provided.

Twilight let the letter drop as her telekinesis cut out from shock.

"We're doomed", Twilight muttered just before she fainted.

End of Chapter.

The Sleeper Has Awakened

Cousins Chapter 6

The Sleeper has Awakened

"I thought you said Mars was uninhabitable?", Ditzy asked the Doctor as she watched the red planet getting bigger on a video monitor as they approached it.

"I said it's uninhabited now, but used to be inhabited, then became uninhabitable", the Doctor replied as he flipped a few switches, "That was around 30,000 years ago though. Now it's inhabitable, but still uninhabited. Just very dry and dusty."

"Sooo we can go around without wearing space suits and stuff?", Ditzy asked as she flapped over to the Doctor.

"Yes, the air is perfectly breathable. Just very dusty", the Doctor said as he looked over his shoulder at Ditzy, "So dust masks would be a good idea."

"Um do we even have any in the TARDIS?", Ditzy asked as she sat and scratched her head.

"Should be a few in the wardrobe."

"You mean the dresser."

"Ditzy, we've been over this", the Doctor said tiredly.

"And yet you still use the wrong name", Ditzy tisked as she flew to one of the TARDIS' side rooms.

"Dressers have draws and wardrobes have doors", the Doctor grumbled to himself as he dialed in the landing coordinates.

--- One argument over furniture later ---

The TARDIS rumbled and made it's signature sound as it landed upon the red dusty surface of Mars. The Doctor poked his head out of the TARDIS, glancing around the rocky barren surface inspecting the somewhat bland surface with a massive extinct volcano a couple miles away in the distance.

"Looks like we near Olympus Mons", the Doctor stated as he trotted out wearing a tan long jacket, blue goggles, and snout mask.

"So we're in the western hemisphere near the Tharsis bulge?", Ditzy inquired as she followed the Doctor wearing a mid length jacket, yellow goggles, and a cloth face wrap.

"That would be my guess", the Doctor said as he held out a modified rhodium detector, a small box like gadget with indicator lights and a little radar dish that twitched as he pointed in several directions.

"So what direction is Hot Blooded Pinkie in?", Ditzy asked as she glanced around the barren rocky terrain.

"Hmm looks like we need head to northwest", the Doctor said as he adjusted a dial on his modified rhondium sensor.

"You sure, Doctor?"

"Never more sure", the Doctor said as he began trotting in the direction his detector was pointing while Ditzy followed closely.

--- two hours of wandering in a circle later ---

"Never more sure, huh?", Ditzy asked with a heap of sarcasm as she trotted beside the Doctor.

"I don't get it. I was certain I had the frequencies locked in", the Doctor grumbled as he adjusted various settings on his detector with his sonic screwdriver.

Ditzy sighed and took a sip from her canteen as she watched the Doctor fiddle with his gadget. Ditzy pondered a few things as she watched the Doctor work. Quietly taking in the scenery, admittedly it was bland, but still it beat staying in the TARDIS and just waiting.

As Ditzy inspected a small rock by her hoof she felt a slight rumble through the sand. Ditzy blinked then pulled her hoof out of the sand, waiting a few moments before putting her hoof back into the soft warm sand. She felt the tremor again, but it was a bit more distinct, as if what was causing it was closer this time.

"Doctor are there any animals left on Mars?", Ditzy questioned as she lifted her hoof out of the sand.

"Just one that I know of: the Shai-Hulud", the Doctor replied as he applied his sonic screwdriver to the detector, "A species of massive sand worms. They're very rare though."

"Um how big is massive?", Ditzy asked as she felt the tremors getting stronger through the sand.

"Hmm if I'm remembering correctly, on average around 400 meters (1,312 ft) long and 40 meters (131 ft) in diameter", the Doctor prattled off the fact absent mindedly as he continued adjusting the detector's settings, "They tended to cause earthquakes or rather sand quakes when they were near the surface. Used to be worshiped by the Martian ponies ages ago."

"Um Doctor", Ditzy nervously called out as she felt another stronger tremor through the sand, "I think we have a problem."

"Not really I'm almost done with the adjustments", the Doctor replied cheerily.

"Not the detector! That tremor! Do you feel it?", Ditzy asked shaking his shoulder.

The Doctor frowned then put a hoof into the sand humming as he closed his eyes in concentration. Ditzy watched the Doctor flicking her wings nervously as she glanced around the sand dunes.

"Time to go!", the Doctor shouted as jumped up on his hooves, "Now!"

Ditzy nodded and galloped with the Doctor at full speed towards a large rocky outcropping. The tremors were now shaking the sand with steadily growing intensity as they frantically ran. Massive geyser like plumes of sand shooting up into the air behind the pair as the sand shook violently.

"Doctor!", Ditzy shouted as she scooped up the Doctor flapping her wings furiously as she darted to the outcropping.

The pair landed in tumble of limbs with a hard thud moments before a
MASSIVE sand worm burst through the red sand with a deafening roar. Then crashed down onto the sand, shaking everything with it's gargantuan weight, before it started coiling through the sand dunes.

"That one's at least 200 meters!", the Doctor shouted excitedly as he watched the behemoth coil about in the sand, creating a small dust storm in it's wake, "Ditzy! Look at this! It's a magnificent specimen!"

"I can see just fine from here!", the mailmare declared with her face buried between her hooves trembling at all the noise.

"Wait a minute", the Doctor said as he pulled a pair of binoculars from his coat pocket and gazed at the massive worm, "There's somepony riding it!"

"What?!", Ditzy shouted as she looked up from under her hooves.

"There see! On the top just behind the sand worm's mouth", the Doctor pointed out as he hoofed the binoculars to Ditzy.

Ditzy gasped as she saw that the Doctor was right. There on the top of the sand worm's head was a pony wearing a ragged cloak riding it with reins in their hooves, pink mane billowing in the dusty wind. Steering the massive sand worm like a wild bull at a rodeo.

"Doctor! That's her!", Ditzy gasped.

--- meanwhile ---

"WOOOOHOOOO!!!", excitedly screamed the one and only Hot Blooded Pinkie Pie, "This is more fun than a barrel full of nuclear powered monkeys!!"

Hot Blooded Pinkie Pie gripped the reins of the sand worm as it bellowed and plowed through a mountainous sand dune as if it was nothing.

"Ridding a sand worm the size a skyscraper worth the trouble when Princess Celestia realizes I 'borrowed' her spaceship?", Hot Blooded Pie asked herself with a maniacal grin, "TOTALLY!"

The gargantuan sand worm bellowed rearing up and crashing down flattening a mountainous sand dune beneath it's massive weight. Hot Blooded Pinkie Pie cheered, reveling in the glory that was her best idea ever, as she gripped the reins in her hooves.

---- Meanwhile in Equestria ---

"Captain Armor?", Princess Celestia said in a serene tone.

"Yes, your majesty? How may I help you?", Shining Armor, head captain for the Unicorn Division and maintainer of the Cantetlot Shield, said with with a sharp salute.

"I was wondering if you knew where the E.S.S Solar Express is?", Princess Celestia asked she motioned to empty docking station behind her.

"Um well your majesty I was going to inform you of it being er absent as soon as I found out where it had been moved to", Captain Armor nervously replied.

"Oh, in that case I believe this will help in your search, my devoted Captain", Princess Celestia smiled as she held up a pink sticky note in her telekinetic grip.

Shining Armor leaned in and read the note written in glaringly bold black ink.

Need to get to Mars. Borrowing your ship. Will bring it back in at least one piece. Thanks.

-HBPP

"I um who exactly is HBPP?", Captain Armor asked looking up at the Princess, his boss, with a sheepish look.

"The only pony in the entire multiverse that is intensely daring enough to take MY ship", Princess Celestia frowned as she looked up into the sky, "HOT BLOODED PINKIE PIE."

--- Back on Mars ---

"How in Equestria are we supposed to keep up with that?!", Ditzy shouted as she and the Doctor watched Hot Blooded Pinkie Pie ride the monstrous sand worm through the dunes.

"Easy there Ditzy", the Doctor said trying to calm his anxious assistant, "While gargantuan in size Shai-Hulud tire fairly easily while on the surface. I'd say we have about ten minutes before the sand worm lays down from exhaustion."

"Thank Celestia for that", Ditzy sighed.

"Or sooner if Hot Blooded Pinkie Pie recognizes me", the Doctor said as he tapped his chin in thought.

"What do you mean by that?", Ditzy asked just a tad suspicious.

"Well we've met before and spent some time together once", the Doctor explained with a grin.

"Meaning?", Ditzy asked with a slight edge to her voice as she stepped closer to the Doctor.

"Well she um wasn't my assistant if um that's what you're asking", the Doctor said as he nervously stepped back from Ditzy, "She just well hitched a ride."

"A ride?", Ditzy questioned in an annoyed tone.

"Well technically she um stowed away on the TARDIS", the Doctor clarified as he fidgeted nervously.

Ditzy just glared.

"Wait. Why are you so concerned about who I've spent time with?", the Doctor asked tilting his head curiously.

"Humph! Never mind", Ditzy said crossing her arms with a faint blush.

"Are you two done yet?", a high octane voice asked.

The Doctor slowly turned around slipping his snout mask off his coat billowing in the wind as he faced Hot Blooded Pinkie Pie as she stood atop the exhausted sand worm arms crossed as her tattered cape billowed around her.

"Doctor", HB said, her power echoing even in her calm voice.

"Pinkamena", the Doctor replied as his aura started to glow a potent Gallifreyan blue.

Hot Blooded Pinkie Pie suddenly launched herself off the sand worm a pink aura of hot blooded power billowing around her as she arced through the air screaming a ferocious war cry while pulling power to her right hoof.

"Ditzy find cover", the Doctor calmly said as he rose on his hind legs, his own blue Gallifreyan aura pulsing strongly around his body.

Ditzy squeaked and dove between two large rocks not daring to question the scene unfolding before her golden eyes.

"AAAAAAAAHHHHH", screamed Hot Blooded Pinkie Pie as she flew at the Doctor, her right hoof radiating power as she cocked it back for a haymaker punch.

"Tch", the Doctor retorted as his right hoof pulsed with raw deep blue Gallifreyan power as he readied his own mighty right hook punch.

Hot Blooded Pinkie's body roared with power as she closed in on the Doctor. Whose own body erupted with Gallifreyan power. These two unstoppable forces of the universe collided into a swirling vortex of raw power then erupted as they collided causing a massive explosion that could be heard in space! And in the aftermath of the most hot blooded collision in Mars' history within a vast crater in the red sand stood these two forces of the universe hooves bumping as they both cried out.

"BRO!"

"HOOF!"

The Doctor and Hot Blooded Pinkie Pie said as they stood in the crater of pure awesomeness. Both grinning like mad ponies.

"I swear I'm the only sane pony", Ditzy groaned as she sat half buried in the sand after watching the bizarre overpowered display of respectful friendship.

--- Ten minutes of digging, Ditzy yelling, and the Doctor sheepishly apologizing later ----

"Hmm a Cousin Reunion eh?", HB mused as she read over the letter, "And everypony else has already agreed to go?"

"Yup", Ditzy chirped as she held out the EPS delivery confirmation paper to be signed.

"Well that saves me the trouble of ponynapping Solution Pie", HB grinned as she dashed her signature over the papers.

"Yeah she mentioned you and Surprise might do that if she didn't go", Ditzy laughed.

"Ditzy not so loud please", the Doctor groaned as he rubbed a Ditzy delivered knot on his head.

"You'll be fine", Ditzy rolled her eyes then turned back to HB, "Well that's all my papers that need signatures."

"Sweet. Now I just need to get planet side", Hot Blooded Pie said as she tucked the letter away into her poofy mane.

"Will you needing a ride?", the Doctor asked only to have his ear cuffed sharply, "Ow! What? I'm being polite.", he groaned rubbing his ear.

"Nah I'm good. I got this baby", Hot Blooded Pie replied as she jingled a pair of spaceship keys.

"Um aren't those the keys to Princess Celestia's personal spaceship?", the Doctor questioned as Ditzy put her paperwork into her mailbag.

"Yeah I'm just borrowing it", HB replies grinning like a Cheshire Cat as leaned closer to the Doctor, "So when did you get a wife?"

"What!?"

"Keep your voice down Doc", HB hissed at the Doctor as she glanced over to check if Ditzy had overheard them.

"It's nothing like that", the Doctor retorted sharply, "Ditzy is just my assistant."

"Yeah right", HB said unconvinced, "Just let me know when you need the reception party planned."

The Doctor just groaned shaking his head.

"What are you two talking about?", Ditzy asked as she trotted over to the pair of earth ponies.

"Nothing!", the Doctor blurted hastily as Hot Blooded Pie just face hoofed.

"Okay?", Ditzy said confused looking to HB for any kind of clarification.

"Well I'm outta here. It was nice meeting you Ditzy, just keep him on a short leash or he'll wander off. I'll see ya later Doctor", Hot Blooded Pie said as she casually waving a farewell hoof as she trotted off into the sunset.

"We'll that was odd", Ditzy said looking over at the Doctor.

"Very odd", the Doctor agreed with a sigh thinking over HB's comment and what it could entail.

"Doctor? Are you blushing?", Ditzy asked with a raised eyebrow.

"It's nothing! Let's...let 's just go home", the Doctor said as he quickly trotted off to the TARDIS.

Whither thou goest, I will go, Ditzy thought to herself smiling as she followed the Doctor into the TARDIS lazily flapping her wings.

End of Chapter 6