Fluttershy Invites Cthulhu Over For Tea

by Dark Tail

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Fluttershy, Random, Discord, Slice of Life
Length: 2232

Fluttershy attempts to calm the old god's wrath with some tea and snacks.

The end of the world is nigh. The old god has awakened. Their wrath will be eternal. Their mere presence shall instill madness upon all mortals that gaze upon him. He is... Getting invited to enjoy tea and snacks? By a god of Chaos? What madness is this?!

Published 2023-06-05 17:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2023-06-05 17:30:01 UTC

Tea, Tea solves everything.

Water bubbled as as beach goers turned and watched in silent fascination. Ponies, Gryphons and numerus species all turned to look towards the horizon. The sunny sky suddenly became cloudy as a low drumming noise could be heard. Waves began to crash harder against the sand as something began to slowly rise from the depths of the sea. Slowly, red eyes of an old creature, older than the planet itself, began to glow. A green and grey skull, larger than any known creature began to slowly appear.

Several creatures began to run, a soft droning of some sort filling their minds, driving them with a primal fear. Some screamed, some cried and others stared. But soon, all began to run. The creature smirked behinds his tentacle covered mouth. He had awoken and it was time to reclaim this land as his own. They have lived in peaceful obliviousness for far too long.

As he slowly began walking towards the shore, a small oddly colored and mismatched creature held up a red sign that the sea creature could only read thanks to the dreams that it had invaded. "Stop." The old god paused in silent curiosity as the creature made up of several other creatures floated in front of him.

"Ah, I was wondering when you would wake up for your nap. About time you decided to get your life together. Though it seems someone woke up cranky."

Cthulhu, destroyer of worlds, breaker of minds and devourer of hope, swatted at the bug that seemed determined to annoy him.

To the old gods slight irritation, as soon as he lifted his large claw to swat away the oddly proportioned danger noodle, the stringy creature seemed to vanish. Only to appear on the opposite side of him, now dressed in a strange looking hat holding a red cloth, shouting "Olay!"

Now studying the creature further, it was apparent that chaos seemed to be commanded by this creature. "What is your business with me, god of chaos?" The old god's voice rang out. Its mere sound causing trees to topple over and sandstorms to form across the beach.

Discord snapped his fingers, putting everything back into place before shifted into a mailpony's outfit. "I have a message to deliver to you." He struck a claw into his bag and pulled out a letter. He casually opened it, putting on reading glasses as he read it out loud. "To big angry sea beast, I want to have you over to tea and snacks. I have rented out a nearby beach house. Please come as soon as you are able. Your Dearest, Fluttershy."

The god of chaos took the paper and then began to munch on it, chewing it slowly. "I do recommend showing up." He took another bite. "Mhm. Good fiber." He swallowed. "I could just snap my fingers and transport you to my realm but my bestie has a better idea."

Cthulhu blinked. This creature could not be serious. An Old One, showing up for tea? There was a whole world to reign over. Surely nothing could stop him. But then there was just that slight bit of curiosity. What sort of creature could possible command the respect of a chaos god. Even one as minor as this?

"Where is this... Tea party?" The old creature spoke, causing a tidal wave to crash against the shore and an avalanche of rock to fall down a nearby mountain. Discord quickly scooped up both into massive buckets before turning back to the large fish like deity next to him. "Just two miles east of here. Can't miss it."

"Then that is where I shall go." The creature boomed, causing another tidal wave. Discord spawned several large buckets, catching the water and dumping them far out at sea.

"Lets use inside voices, if you please." The chaos god said with a groan.

A deep voice within his head spoke. Discord held his head as his eyes rattled. "I shall indulge you... For now."

The old one began to turn and move, heading down the shore. His lumbering body causing more large waves to crash, storms seemed to appear around him, raining down torrential rain as he went, he was a force of nature, a god of absolute destruction. Nothing could stand in his way. Nothing could stop the on coming storm.

"Excuse me, Mr. Old God!" Discord called out with a loud speaker.

Cthulhu turned, his glowing eyes piercing the veil of reality itself.

The chaos god pointed behind him. "East is that way..."

The Old One grunted. Just because he was an all powerful being of limitless destruction... Doesn't mean he had a great sense of direction.

The Draconequus chuckled and snapped his fingers, teleporting back to let Fluttershy know her guest was on his way.

***

Waves crashed against the beach as Fluttershy sat out on a large deck. Behind her was a nice simple beach house, palm trees lined the beach around and behind it. In front of her was a table with a few tea cups set out, a plate of cookies and a large kettle of tea.

She silently sipped from her cup as Discord sat nearby, munching on a cookie. He always loved days like this and treasured every moment that he had. Eternity had taught him many things but moments like these are worth taking the time to enjoy the little things in life. They usually tended to mean the most to him in the grand scheme of things.

The sky suddenly grew dark, creatures began to run and hide and the air seemed to grow heavy. A lumbering creature soon appeared on the horizon, his vestige of the inevitable causing all those to look upon to feel a primal fear. The abyss now walked the earth, its reign shall forever instill madness upon any who dare try to comprehend its existence. It is a creature of the unknown and unfathomable... And it was coming over for tea.

Fluttershy watched the creature slowly walk over to them. "Discord, I seem to not have a cup large enough for him. Could you please snap up a more suitable cup?"

The chaos god continued to munch on his cookie but nodded, snapping into existence a large steaming cup of lemon and ginger tea that hovered over the beach in front of then.

As the Old One drew near, he stopped and looked down at the large cup. Then turned to look at the yellow Pegasus. "This is the creature that commanded the respect of a chaos god?" Cthulhu boomed within their minds.

Discord took sip of his tea. "Yep."

The eldritch horror examined the yellow creature, unsure of what to make of it. Surely it must be taking on such a meek form. There is no way such a small mortal could command such loyalty, even to a lower chaos god.

"Please, have a seat where you, get comfortable, it seems we have some things to discuss." She said with a tinge of modesty and calmness one would not expect staring down such an imposing force.

The Old One sat down within the surf, causing more large waves to crash against the beach. He glanced over at the drink, lifting up the large cup and draining it without having to lift it towards its mouth, simply consuming it though touch alone.

"Not everyone can be so formal." Discord muttered to himself.

Fluttershy clapped her hooves together. "Now, please tell me what your intentions are here in Equestria."

The Destroyer of Worlds gave a low chuckle that seemed to drive the nearby flock of birds to flee in terror, running on legs as they had forgotten how to fly due to sheer panic.

"I intend to conquer this world, instill madness upon the mortals, force them erratic vestiges in my honor and then ascend the cosmos in search of better prey, leaving this world in a ball of chaotic ash." He said firmly, Fluttershy feeling her mind tingle a bit as he spoke.

Discord raised an eyebrow. "Daring today, aren't we?" He took another cookie and sipped it, watching it turn to liquid as he raised his pinkie talon up.

Fluttershy shook her head. "Well I am sorry to break it to you, but I can not allow such things here. We are a peaceful world, and would prefer to be left alone. You will just have to find somewhere else to spread chaos." She cocked her head slightly, smiling up at the imposing creature.

Cthulhu gave a low hearty laugh. It caused the nearby fish to start running across the beach in terror, forgetting they needed water to breath and legs to run.

"And what will do you do if I say no, what power do you posses that could possibly stop me?"

Fluttershy sighed. "I was hoping we could be civil about this. But if you must continue to be crabby and grabby, I will have to invoke the Stare..."

Discord nearly dropped his tea, shuddering a bit. "Take my advice big guy, go back to sleep, it will be far more pleasant." He respectfully scooted his chair back a bit, averting his eyes as he began to play a sorrowful song on a violin, only to realize it was a banjo but shrugged his shoulders and continued to string it, playing a soft tune.

The Eldritch Horror leaned forward a bit. "Go right ahead, nothing can stand in the face of my power. Mortals have tried, all have failed. Even lesser gods have bent the knee, you are nothing and will return to nothing in the wake of my presence alone."

Discord chuckled. "Alright, he asked for it." He strung a few notes of dueling banjoes, still using a violin bow string.

Fluttershy took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She scooted back a bit, and got out of her chair. She then quickly flew up to eye level, her eyes closed. The large creature stared back, barely a hint of curiosity as the small one opened her eyes.

There was a but a brief moment where nothing happened. The he locked eyes with her.

He felt something that he hadn't felt since the birth of creation. A stirring feeling that caught the Old One of guard. He blinked. Something that felt foreign to him. No, that wasn't just it, he felt something strange. What was this feeling?

He stared into those small eyes, a chorus of echoes stringing low tones across his senses. Her eyes were filled with those echoes of something coming forth, a creature that even time had long forgotten. It was older than the Old One. It was an impossibility to him, one so ascended, yet it was an inevitability to even some creature like him. It was Death. Death itself, an unstoppable force, was staring back at him. He realized the feeling... He felt FEAR.

Cthulhu shuddered. "STOP." The voice rang out loudly, but the yellow one did not shudder. She hovered their firm and dignified.

"Please." He leaned back, feeling his legs turn to jelly. Then he spoke a word. A word that would have made him retch if he could. A word he dare not speak unless he was giving it to a worth advisory. But not to himself. He was far to strong for that. He had nothing to fear... Until today. "MERCY!" He cried.

Discord stopped playing, took a big swig of tea then spit it across the table. "Did the Old One just say mercy? Am I in the right timeline? Did I stumbling into a work of fiction? I mean, I am in work of fiction, my words are being writing by keystroke as I speak or as the author believes I would speak in such a manor... Hmm, I seemed to have quickly lost my train of thought. He said mercy, I'll just mentally record that for later." His eyes flashed like that of a camera. "This is going on my blog for sure."

Fluttershy blinked. "Now go back to sleep Mr. Old One and don't come back up here until you have better manors and stopped feeling like you need to dominate everything. You are much to old for this."

The Eldritch Horror gave a slow nod, reeling at the feelings he was trying to comprehend. He needed to sleep for now, really try to come to turns with what just happened. He can come back in another millennia, see how things are looking then.

He turned and began to wander back into the deep sea depths, Fluttershy returning to her chair and sipping on her tea. Discord leaned back in his chair a bit, snapping away his instrument. "I do love these little tea parties, hopefully the next end of the world scenario, I can remember to bake something special."

Fluttershy gently smiled at him as the two began to casual discuss the weather like it was just another normal day. After all, she still had a lovely vacation to enjoy. She sighed thoughtfully as the large creature in the background continued to swim and sink towards the sunset.

Author's Note

I may have slowly lost my marbles while writing this. Still fun though and its rare I get to do something so chaotic. Hope you all enjoyed.