Jungle Diff

by RunicTreetops

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Second Person, Princess Cadance, Comedy, Random, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, League of Legends, Human, Twilight Sparkle, Princess Luna, Anon
Length: 1572

The princesses decide to drag you into a nice, leisurely game of League of Legends. Luna takes it a bit too seriously.

You've never heard of this newfangled "League of Legends," but Luna seems determined to get a team going in the strange 5 vs 5 game. With Celestia, Cadance, Twilight, and yourself in tow, surely nothing could go wrong.

I mean, when has League ever upset anyone?

Published 2023-04-30 00:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2023-04-30 00:40:01 UTC

Jungle Diff

"HOW DID YOU MISS YOUR W?!"

Once again, Luna's anger has flared up, this time directed entirely towards you. You sigh as you wait for your character to respawn. Looking up from the screen, you take stock of the situation unfolding around you.

Seated around the small table is a confused-looking Celestia, an inquisitive Twilight, a concerned Cadance, a furious Luna, and yourself. You each have your own computer setup, prepared by Luna, who insisted that you play some new game she's gotten into lately. League of Legends, or just "League" as she calls it, is a team-based 5 vs 5 MOBA game that nobody here but Luna really understands. You've played a few games already, and while Luna was mostly patient with you all during those games, she seems to be reaching the end of her rope. She's been lashing out at everyone here since this game started, and you can't help but wonder if this game might be bad for her health.

With a groan, Luna starts giving instructions to Celestia, who is playing "top lane."

"Sister, I am coming up for a gank. Let them get closer to your tower."

"Okay, I think I can do that!"

Celestia is like an old mare when it comes to computers, and she has been having a very difficult time getting a grip on this game. She is playing as someone named "Kayle." Meanwhile, Luna is playing the "jungle" position as a character named "Kindred." You still haven't quite wrapped your head around what Luna's purpose in this game is. Celestia is supposed to control the "top lane." Twilight is supposed to do the same in the "mid lane" as her character, "Veigar." Meanwhile, you are also to do that in the "bot lane" as this funny little fella called "Kog'Maw," but unlike Celestia and Twilight, you have someone assisting you in the form of Cadance, who is playing a cat that's stuck to you like glue named "Yuumi." You aren't even going to try to remember the names of the characters on the other team. There's, like, a million of these characters, and you have better things to do than memorize that many names and movesets.

As you mindlessly defeat the little bad guys that keep running down the lane and attacking your little good guys, you watch as Luna approaches Celestia in the top lane in an attempt to flank the enemy top laner. It looks like things are going to go well, right up until the enemy jungler flanks Luna and the sisters are both defeated. Looking up from the screen and towards her sister, you can practically see the veins in Luna's head about to burst.

"Why didn't you make me invulnerable?!"

"I can do that?"

"What do MEAN, 'I can do that?' OF COURSE YOU CAN DO THAT! IT'S YOUR ULT!"

"Okay, okay. No need to shout."

"NOT TO MENTION THAT WE WOULD HAVE SEEN THEIR JUNGLER COMING IF YOU HAD VISION ON RIVER!"

"How am I supposed to do that? The river is dark on the map."

"WITH WARDS, SISTER! HOW ELSE?"

"What is a ward?"

With an almost violent growl, Luna decides to stop berating her poor sister and look back at the screen, apparently buying items while waiting to respawn or something. Twilight breaks up the tension with some lighthearted words of her own.

"Well, I think I am carrying myself pretty well. This little dude is kinda fun. I trap them in my cage, and then I just let my spells loose! She almost always dies when I do that."

"Yes, Twilight, that is because Veigar is a broken champ and you are terrible for picking him."

"Well, I don't know about that. I have to dodge a lot of attacks too, you know. Besides, it looks like I'm having more fun than you are right now."

"I AM HAVING PLENTY OF FUN!"

"If you say so, miss 0/6/3."

"Maybe I would be performing better if you would remember to do ANY SORT OF CALLOUT!"

"Hey, I used a ping to tell you that their jungler was probably going upriver. You're the one that ignored me."

"Twilight Sparkle, do not make me go over there! You're lucky I finally respawned."

After a few moments of relative silence, Cadance leans over towards you and starts to whisper.

"You know, I'm not sure I'm all that fond of this 'Caitlyn' woman. She has a lot of range."

With a slight chuckle, you whisper back.

"Yeah, but what are you going to do? That's probably the whole reason they picked her. It was a smart move on their part." As you finish saying that, the "Caitlyn" and her support push towards you and Cadance, managing to get some quick shots in on the two of you. You manage to get out a couple of attacks in retaliation, getting them low on health before you are both killed. "Haha, like that! That was unfortunate."

Although tense at first, Cadance slowly begins to laugh along with you after realizing the complete lack of concern in your tone. Luna, on the other hand, is not so happy.

"You two shouldn't have engaged. Why didn't you go under tower? That wasn't a fight you were going to win, and now their bot lane is even MORE fed!"

"I don't know, I thought we had a shot. It was a pretty close fight."

"Well, now it won't be, and it will likely stay that way for the rest of the game!"

With a newfound confidence, Cadance looks at Luna with a cocky grin on her face.

"It sounds to me like we would benefit from having our jungler intervene at some point. But, that's a ridiculous idea. It hasn't happened yet, after all."

"I have been clearing camps and trying to babysit top lane this whole time!"

"Sorry," Celestia mumbles, "I just can't wrap my head around all of this."

With another laugh, you direct your attention from the rage-filled Luna and towards her sheepish sister.

"Don't worry about it Tia, it's just a game!"

"GAMES ARE MEANT TO BE WON!"

Oh dear, Luna's whipping out the "traditional royal Canterlot voice." That's never a good sign.

"Luna, I think games are meant to be fun."

"AS WE HAVE ALREADY SAID, WE ARE HAVING PLENTY OF FUN!"

With those words, Luna was distracted for just long enough to be surprised by the enemy team's jungler and dies once again. She doesn't even have the words to express her fury, opting instead to sit in her chair and cope. Perhaps seethe. Mald, even.

Over the next few minutes, while you, Cadance, and Twilight make a good showing, it is ultimately not enough to turn the tide. The enemy team overtakes the lanes, destroys your towers, and eventually wins the game. As the bright red letters spelling out "Defeat" come across the screen, Luna lets out a guttural scream and begins typing into the game's chat box. What follows is a paragraph's worth of insults that you dare not repeat in any context, ever. After Luna's words sit on the screen for a little while, Twilight once again tries to break up the tension gathering in the room.

"Hey, uh, Luna? Are you okay?"

Luna just stares at the screen for a few silent moments, until she eventually closes her eyes and lets out a sigh.

"...I am fine."

As she says that, you all notice someone on the enemy team respond in the chat. Two simple words that you can't say you understand the meaning of.

"Jungle diff."

Seconds later, Luna's computer has been thrown across the room in a fit of rage. Not knowing what else to do with her uncontrollable anger, she teleports away to some unknown destination. You and the remaining princesses glance between one another before you speak up again.

"So... you girls wanna go again?"

With a shared laugh, the four of you get into another game. Your fifth player, some user by the name of "Boulder," plays a mean "Rammus," easily trumping Luna's abilities in the jungle. Able to enjoy yourselves much more openly, you continue to play the game well into the night.

In a clubhouse over in Sweet Apple Acres, Apple Bloom, Sweetie Bell, Scootaloo, Diamond Tiara, and Silver Spoon sit around a table much like the one you were situated at. Each has a computer of their own, and they all share the same bored expression as they mindlessly click at the screen and press the same few keys over and over.

"Man, that team kind of sucked," Scootaloo says.

"I'll say. Their jungler was really raging in the chat," Diamond Tiara adds.

"What else do you expect when they're up against someone like me?" Sweetie Bell confidently holds her head high, but Silver Spoon seems unimpressed.

"Uh, Sweetie Bell? You were playing Yi. You don't have much room to talk."

"And what is that supposed to mean?"

Before Silver Spoon can respond, Apple Bloom interrupts.

"Girls? Can we just say 'jungle diff' and move on? I'm tired of fighting over this."

Without saying another word, the rest of the group silently nods and goes back to playing, a palpable boredom filling the space once more.

Author's Note

Wait a minute. I hate League of Legends!

Thank you for reading! As always, I appreciate any and all feedback!