The Core of the Problem

“Applejack…” she breathed the single word out, the shock still registering. She hadn’t considered this was a possibility. She had planned her contingency for every reaction Applejack had to her entering the bedroom, late at night. She had considered what to do if Applejack was sleeping. She had considered what to do if the door were locked. She had considered what to do if she was promptly kicked out. But… not this. She had never planned for this. “We—you like me?”

The more and more frequent event of Applejack giggling happened once more: “I hafta admit that I do, Twilight. And… and I know that, odds are, you aren’t okay with this. And I accept that. But you wanted the truth, and now you got it. I just hope… I hope we can still be friends.”

Friends. The word tore Twilight back into the situation, and, interestingly enough, right back out. Fluttershy had said that no matter what, Applejack would be okay with whatever Twilight said. Shouldn’t the same be true for her? Shouldn’t she offer the country pony the same courtesy she expected? It took friendship to make sure that, no matter what, at the end of the day, they were still okay. It took friendship to weather this storm. And this storm had just turned very, very different… but she assumed the rule still applied. She had to be okay with this—but what could she even begin to say?

Maybe… maybe she should try using that same tactic that brought her here. The same tactic that she had used with Fluttershy. So, she began to just talk: “Applejack, we’ve been friends for over three years now. And especially in the last month, we’ve been spending so much time together.” She started slowly. She had no idea where she was taking the monologue. She had no idea what she even felt, deep down. But regardless, as she talked, she looked up to see Applejack painted with both fear and acceptance. She placed a hoof on Applejack’s own, looking deep into her friend’s watering, green eyes. They looked lost—they looked as if she was holding it together, just to look strong. But looking just past the glimmering surface of the strong façade, Applejack just looked broken.

“Over the past three years, I’ve always thought that we all were going to be together forever, just like you said” Twilight continued. “I’ve always planned on that. I’ve always wanted to be with you girls, ever since I got here and met you all. You five are… kinda my life. And over the past month, you’ve been my life even more so.” she wasn’t just trying to drag this out. She definitely wasn’t. If she had her way, she would have darted out of the room before even opening her mouth. But she couldn’t. That wasn’t what being a friend was about. She had to stay here, and she had to answer her. The only problem is she didn’t know what she was trying to say.

She was trying to work everything out as she spoke—but instead she could feel things only growing more and more tense. She was positive everything that she had learned about Friendship applied here, somehow… she was positive that it was the answer to this. She just had to keep searching, both with the words in her mind, and the words pouring out her mouth. Two separate streams, neither one honestly aware of what thoughts were forming in the other. “When I first got here, I had no idea the kinds of ponies I’d meet. I honestly wasn’t sure I’d make friends at all. But now that I’m here, I have so many amazing friends. You—you’re the closest out of all of those friends. You’re the best pony I have ever met.”

“All I know is that we aren’t quite the same anymore.” “That ain’t a bad thing, is it?” Twilight thought about those words. Applejack found being together made her happy. Applejack wanted, craved—needed her attention. The past month was an entirely selfish venture on her part. Nothing was wrong from the beginning. They were friends. Close friends. And although the country pony had a massive crush, she ended up just being content with being friends. But now the lid on that secret had been pried wide open, and the truth was out. And now the possibility presented itself: it could turn into something more.

But what did Twilight want? She wanted Applejack to be happy. She wanted herself to be happy. And somehow—somehow them both being together made that happen. “As long as you’re happy, AJ, I think it’s great.” Those words resounded in her mind, thinking back to that day in the orchard. She still felt that was the truth: Twilight and Applejack’s happiness came first. So… what would make them happy?

…She only had one answer: “I… want us to be happy.”

Applejack paused, her head tilting at the almost whisper-like confession of the book horse. “You… what, now?”

Twilight laughed, shaking her head. “I want us to be happy. I… don’t know a lot about dating. Honestly, I don’t know anything outside of sappy romance novels and a couple of stage plays. But AJ… my friends are my life. And you—you’re the closest pony in the entire world to me. I don’t know how dating works, and I don’t really know what I want. But… I want to be close to you. I want to be closer to you. And… we have something more than friendship. I’ve known that for weeks. I don’t know if that something is this—but maybe it is. And…”

She took a deep breath, nodding. “If it is… then I want it more than anything.”

Applejack threw her hooves around Twilight, almost crushing her to death in her arms. She also couldn’t hold those tears Twilight had seen any longer, as they poured freely from her emerald eyes. As suffocating as it was, Twilight didn’t complain about the hug. In fact—she only pressed herself into her friend even harder. Or… were they friends? She assumed not anymore. But that came later. For now… she held her friend in her arms and nothing else seemed to matter. For now? Only this mattered.

“Thank you.” The two words were the first audible reaction Applejack had. The relief was audible as the tears continued, cutting right into Twilight’s heart. Just the idea that her acceptance could mean that much to her; the fear of her rejection could cause so large of an impact… it was the best and worst part of this entire night to Twilight. She… felt almost drowning in uncertainty. It was like stepping into a bottomless pool, without being sure you knew how to swim… or without even knowing if you want to swim. She could take the plunge and find out—or play it safe and hold onto the edge of the pool—just a bit longer.

But hearing the girl, whose hooves were still wrapped around her, sniff the tears away… those worries just seemed to melt away. This idea was new to her. Twilight hadn’t ever considered romance while here in Ponyville—and definitely not to another mare. But… she had a feeling that plunging into this new experience was about the only way she’d learn. This wasn’t an exam. This wasn’t a trial set up by Celestia. This was… a part of life. And there wasn’t a single book that covered this topic.

“Applejack, look at me,” she began, pulling away from the still-lingering embrace of Applejack. Once she had her complete attention, she looked into those swirling green eyes, once again. This time, the tears she was holding back were of joy, not of fear, and that made them look all the sweeter, “I’m not sure how this kind of stuff works, but what I do know… is that I want more of what we already have. What I do know… is that for the past four weeks, I’ve spent every spare moment with you, and it’s been the best time of my life, AJ. All I want is the rest of my life to be that way.”

Applejack blinked once, two renegade tears falling from her eyes. After a single, well-fought sniff, she let out one more giggle: “Darlin’, trust me: that won’t be a problem.”

That night, Twilight stayed at Applejack’s house. At first, Twilight was worried that things would change. That she would be plummeted into the world of romance… and she certainly wasn’t ready for physical intimacy. But—but it was almost like nothing had changed. They were merely together, talking and laughing, sharing stories and telling tales… and that was enough for her. It was just so strange to Twilight—this entire concept was new, but she was finding that it was just like before—but more...finalized. Or maybe labeled. Growing up, she always assumed she would find some modest castle guard, or a dashing lord of the court to marry, and he would whisk her away and everything would change. But being with her best friend, no matter what anypony else would think—and having everything so familiar? The more she pieced this relationship together in her mind… it just made so much more sense to her.

In the end, the two ponies fell asleep on the couch of the farmhouse. Applejack fell first, the emotional rollercoaster she had been through exhausting her—or at least, that’s the conclusion Twilight came to. Her long, blonde mane flowed over Twilight’s back hooves, as she rested her head on the young princess’s lap. Hesitating only a moment, Twilight took her hoof and ran it through the single, long ponytail, held in place with a small, red band. The only response she got was a happy sigh from the country pony.

The last thought Twilight had was that the girl in her lap looked like an angel.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The next day found Twilight in a very... surreal mood. The events of the previous day collided with her as soon as she woke up. Applejack was still fast asleep on her lap, giving her the only proof she needed that it wasn’t a dream. She glanced aside to see the sun shining through the window, telling her that it was already late in the morning, with the sounds of the farm and its three workers creating a vivid backdrop for the strange situation.

Looking down at her angel, Twilight once more ran a hoof down the long blonde hair. The emotions of the previous night were still fresh in her mind, being cause to stop and reevaluate herself.

Everything that had happened last night--everything that had happened in the past month—had created so many distractions and changes in her life that she hardly even recognized what normal was anymore. Rumors and hardships, discovering feelings about herself and her friend, but most of all: she gained somepony beyond anything she had ever imagined. Though it scared her to know how fast her life had changed, and though she knew the future was anything but certain… she was still happy. Sure, she was in way over her head. She had no idea where to take things. And sure, there was still the problem with rumors. She didn’t have a clue how to handle that. But here, with the pony in her lap, breathing contentedly—she wouldn't have it any other way.

"Mornin', Twilight..." the lazy, stumbling words brought her from her thoughts, and it was only then that she realized she had been running her hoof through Applejack's mane, apparently waking her up. Looking down to meet Applejack’s gaze, the barely conscious pony merely continued to lie there, staring up at her with a small smile. "We kinda fell asleep, huh?"

Twilight smiled down at her, ruffling up her hair. "Just a little, AJ. Sleep well?"

"Better than ever, Darlin', better than ever. And how about you?"

She gave a small laugh, “Same. We slept in pretty late, though, do you think that your family needs help?” Applejack turned at those words, glancing out of the nearby window at the high, eastern sun.

“Normally, I’d say ‘yes’, Twi. But it ain’t Apple Buckin’ season no more, so there ain’t much to do. Plus,” she smiled, sitting up from Twilight’s lap, “today’s kinda a special day, don’t ya think? We need to just enjoy ourselves.”

Twilight wasn’t quite sure what she meant by those words, but she had a feeling that it was going to be pretty wonderful.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The woods—they were in the woods. The Everfree forest, to be exact. Twilight gingerly stepped on top of a fallen tree’s truck, then hopped off of it, landing on a small twig, snapping it in two. Meanwhile, she noticed (almost annoyingly so) that Applejack was expertly weaving through the scene, jumping from rock to rock, always glancing behind at her. Twilight had a feeling she was slowing AJ down, but she also knew that AJ was somehow having fun watching her. And with the small smile she was being repeatedly cast, she had a feeling that simply watching her was satisfaction enough to outweigh the wait. “I know that you’re enjoying my struggle, here, AJ… but where are we going?”

Applejack gave a small giggle, blushing as she was caught. Twilight noticed that this laugh was occurring more. It wasn’t a hearty, forced laugh—though Twilight was just as in love with that one, as well—this one was natural. Applejack was laughing more and more as Twilight spent time with her. It was as if she was finally herself. She wasn’t putting on a face. She wasn’t hiding who she was. In a way, it was like Twilight had finally solved the mystery.

“Well as true as that may be, I ain’t gonna tell ya where we’re going, Twilight. I want it to be a surprise!” Again, that was all that she had gotten. This was probably the fourth time that Twilight had asked, yet there was still no answer from the country pony. Twilight was wondering just how far away they were going, as they had been walking for quite a while. And the age-old truth of these types of hikes was lingering in the back of her mind: the distance you walked into the woods was also the distance you had to walk back. It would take them far into the afternoon to get back, at this pace…

“Just trust me, hon: you’re gonna love it. We’re almost there, alright?”

Twilight stepped into what she assumed was a small puddle, until her hoof sunk down into the mud, caking her entire leg in filth. Picking it up and shaking the dirt off, she glanced up at Applejack: “If you say so, AJ.”

Through ten more minutes of forest, Twilight was getting more and more tired of this place. It was definitely interesting, and any other day, she would love to study some of the plant life that grew in this deep underbrush. But for the moment? It seemed unnecessarily dirty. Just as she was about to ask for the fifth time if she could take a breather, she saw a clearing in the distance. Though barely visible from between two trees, she was certain that this was their destination. Applejack looked behind once more, and then nodding with a small smile. “Yup, that’s it, Sugar Cube. C’mon!” She picked up the pace, trotting the rest of the way. Twilight had to sprint for a moment, just to catch up to her. By the time the two got to the clearing, she was almost out of breath. But she wasn’t sure if it was because of the trot, or if it was because of the landscape before her.

A large natural spring erupted at the top of a cliff, its water cascading freely down, crashing down into a large pool at the bottom. The water then flowed into a small stream, bee-lining its way through the clearing, disappearing into the far trees. Flowers grew along its bank, feeding off of the rich liquid growing just near them. Rich reds and blues, even oranges and yellows created the entire prism of colors, each individual flower looking brighter than the last. Twilight wondered how she had never seen this place before, the beauty leaving her at a loss for any other words.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” The words came out, soft and slow from the pony next to her, bringing Twilight back to reality. “My folks used to bring me here at the very beginning of summer. The flowers would just be bloomin’, their scent bathing this entire place. But then they’d bring me here right at fall, just around this time ‘a year, where the summer flowers already had bloomed, and the fall flowers were at the tail end ‘a their season. The trees around here, their oranges and yellows make this place look alive yet dead at the same time. I bring Applebloom here sometimes. It’s kinda a tradition for the family. I—I hope ya like it, Twilight.”

“It’s beautiful, AJ.” To be considered family—to partake in such a rare tradition, Twilight couldn’t even fathom the trust that Applejack placed in her. Was this because they were together now? Or was this just because of how close they had gotten? Twilight debated the question for only half a moment before discarding it entirely. She wouldn’t dwell on specifics for now. This was a huge honor—she would treat it with the respect it deserved.

Twilight slowly approached AJ’s side, looking out at the forest meadow. She watched in silence, listening to the sounds of the forest around her. The trees rustled in the wind, with yellows, reds, and browns billowing past her in the small breeze as the leaves were carried away. Birds chirped in the distance, the species not migrating preparing for winter. The slow rippling of the water just in front of them finishing the forest’s song with the strong waterfall in the background creating a dim white noise. She had closed her eyes to take it all in when she felt AJ lean her head against her own. She felt the cowgirl take a slow, deep breath, exhaling it with almost a sense of melancholy.

This whole moment, Twilight could barely believe it was even real. Being in this wonderful place, having her best friend and her whole world here before her—it was something that, only weeks ago, she would never have believed possible.

It was just everything about it: the scenery, the smell and feel of Applejack as the country pony pressed into her, the sound of the water before them, the taste of the crisp autumn air… every single one of her senses was being overwhelmed in the best of ways. She tried to speak, but not a single word felt appropriate to break the silence between them. So instead, she remained silent, until a minute later, Applejack spoke: “I’m glad you like it, sweetheart.”

“Sweetheart…” Twilight whispered, stepping away to look at Applejack. “You’ve never called me Sweetheart before.” The fact was said simply, as if it was the time of day. Twilight… wouldn’t say she didn’t like the name. She also couldn’t say it was anything too special. Applejack always called people things. Honey, Darling, Sugar Cube—the list was fairly long of synonyms she would cycle through for the various people she ran across—but this seemed unusually special, for some reason.

Applejack froze, her eyes growing wide in shock. Twilight only meant that it was different—it was new. It definitely wasn’t a bad thing, by any means, but apparently Applejack didn’t think of it that way. She was about to speak to calm Applejack down, but before she spoke, she was beat to the punch: “I’m sorry, Twi, I didn’t think it was—I can stop if you want, I—“

“Applejack, I like it. You don’t have to apologize… sweetheart,” she said, a smile teasing the corners of her mouth.

Applejack smiled, using a hoof to scratch the back of her neck. “I… uh—I’m sorry, I just don’t really know how to act, yet. This is all so new to me…”

Twilight giggled a moment. “You and me both, Applejack.” She watched her companion for a moment, tilting her head in thought. “You know—over the years, you haven’t really had a special somepony. Who did you have before I got here?” she asked simply. There had to be somepony… Applejack was beautiful, strong, smart, and pretty funny, to top it all off. She had even attracted a few ponies over the years she had been living in Ponyville—yet never accepted the affection. Was there a reason?

Applejack smiled, shaking her head at the question. “I’ve only really had one or two ponies in my whole life, Twi. Back when I was younger, there was a little colt. He was really nice, but we kinda mutually decided it wasn’t gonna work a few months after we started courtin’. After that, I had a few suitors come knockin’ on my door at the farm, but I always sent ‘em away. I didn’t wanna bother with all of that, anymore. I just decided that the farm was gonna be my life.”

Twilight nodded. It made sense, she knew that Applejack thought that: the farm was her life. It was just her entire persona: work before play. But now? Would things be different? Would Applejack prioritize her above the farm? She wasn’t sure how she felt about that sentiment.

“But what about you, Sugar? You’ve had to get quite a few little ponies after ya, haven’t you? You were livin’ with royalty and such. There had to be a few dashing nobles that met your eye.” she asked, nudging Twilight lightly with a single hoof.

She laughed, vehemently shaking her head. “Yeah, right, AJ. Growing up, I was entirely too wrapped up in my books to even properly treat my friends. I didn’t think about anything social until I moved here. I haven’t really ever had anypony before.”

“Not a single pony?” she asked, disbelieving.

Twilight shrugged. “Not a single one. I wanted to finish up my studies before I even thought about things like that. I ended up being so distracted that, once I got here, I didn’t know where to start even if I did want to have a special pony. In fact, I’m… kind of scared, to be honest. I don’t know anything about this, AJ. And I just want to do this right… but I don’t know what to expect.”

“You? Scared?” She shook her head at this, “I don’t believe it for a single minute.”

“My whole life, AJ, relationships have been something in novels and works of fiction. I have watched plays where daring princes sweep princesses off of their hooves. I have read books where lowly servants have won the hearts of their masters, and where rich ponies in disguise have secretly gone undercover to make sure their suitors’ feelings are true love. But—nothing I’ve ever read has been real. Does that even make sense?”

Applejack nodding. “I know what yer sayin’, Twilight. The closest I ever came ‘t seein’ true love is from my folks, and… I don’t really remember much of it. They met when my mama went to Manehatten—my papa was visitin’ family, up there. They met at the market, and it was young pony love, as they say. They had a mighty quick fling, and then they decided to get married.”

Married. They got married. For the first time, Twilight had that word cross her mind. The purpose of dating was to find an appropriate spouse, right? That was the only logical conclusion she had. Dating led to marriage—she was dating Applejack, wasn’t she? So she was, in all reality, seeing if Applejack was appropriate to marry. Did—did she want to marry Applejack? She honestly had no idea. She didn’t even know that she liked girls a month ago. To be honest she was still having a hard time wrapping her head around if she did, now. But… marriage. To Applejack. She had a quick mental image of the two of them in white dresses before she quickly mentally shook that out of her mind. That was entirely too far out of left field for her, right now. Instead, she took a step back, jumping back into the conversation.

“Married…” was all that she said aloud. “Do you think your parents would have approved of me?” The follow-up came suddenly, the words escaping before she even thought of them.

Applejack suddenly frowned, her entire countenance falling. “Listen, Twi. I—” she paused again, rethinking her words. “They weren’t exactly…” and another moment of silence: “You gotta realize I was raised on a farm, Twi. My Papa was raised pretty old-fashioned. Both of my folks raised us that some things just ain’t right, and one of those things was marriage between two mares. It’s just kinda how it worked out.”

Twilight didn’t even know what to say. She had just assumed, with Applejack having those feelings about her, that her family would have understood.

“I see… does that bother you, AJ?” she asked, glancing over at Applejack.

The country pony shrugged at that, kicking a rock into the river a few meters away. “I don’t know. I guess I haven’t really thought much about it, yet. I know when I was crushin’ on you, that sometimes I felt that it wasn’t right. I felt like I was kinda lettin’ ‘em down, sometimes. But then I would think that it didn’t matter what my parents woulda thought, so long as I’m happy. I mean don’t get me wrong—they were my folks, and I respect their opinion. But as much as I loved ‘em, I’m my own pony. Does that make sense?”

Twilight nodded, smiling at the words. “I completely understand. I’m sorry about bringing up those bad memories. I didn’t mean to. I just—the question just kinda came out, I guess?”

“It’s fine, Sugar. It’s hard to talk about, but I know that it had to be said, eventually.” Twilight still wasn’t completely convinced by her words, but she decided to let it slide.

Her parents accepted this kind of relationship, so she wasn’t even sure how Applejack must have felt... Her whole life, she had been taught that love was love. That it didn’t matter who the ponies were, so long as they weren’t hurting anyone, their love should be celebrated. After all, if you loved someone, then how could it be a bad thing?

She wasn’t sure if she loved Applejack like that—not yet. But she certainly was coming around to the idea. Marriage… marriage was too far out to think about. But dating? She definitely was all in favor of that.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~