The Chemical Re-Mark

Chapters

Rollcall
Group Project
Finals Week
Summer School

Rollcall

It was a late spring afternoon.

The last tendrils of the Sun painted the sky as it slowly shifted to a reddish brown comparable to the ginger tea with honey Starlight was nursing. She turned from the window to the mare who shared her single-bedroom home's kitchen table with her.

Cheerilee had invited her over for tea under the pretext of wanting to "Learn more about the Princess' new protege." Starlight hadn't ever talked to her before, or even known she was the teacher of Ponyville's school before she'd introduced herself, in spite of all the time she'd spent there. She made a mental note to try and pay more attention to this town's individual ponies from then on.

"Slurrp... So, Cheerilee, was it? I'm going to guess you want to know about the whole 'Saving-the-Elements-of-Harmony-and-all-four-Princesses-by-strolling-into-a-bug-queen's-anti-magic-lair-with-a-stage-magician,-a-god-of-chaos-and-a-changeling-just-like-the-ones-who-caused-this-mess-in-the-first-place' thing, right? Ha, ah. Aha. Hum."

Cheerilee fidgeted with the hem of the tablecloth, her teacup and slice of cake left completely untouched. "S-something along those lines. I was more curious about the sudden change the changelings took after you defeated Chrysalis?"

"Oh, that little 'glow-up'?" Starlight set her teacup down and brought a hoof to her lips. "I still can't believe that just learning to share love did all that."

Cheerilee held her teacup up to just before her lips. "It might seem simple to you and me, but you have to wonder- was it just sharing love? Combined with the metamorphosis and what happened to Thorax afterward... you don't think he changed who they were, as a species? tampered with their bodies and minds so that their... urges... would vanish?"

"Haha- I, uh. I don't think so. Even if Thorax could do something like that, I doubt he would. Besides, if the changelings really were changed that far, wouldn't they notice something was different?"

"We have no idea of what a fully powered Changeling monarch can do. For example, Chrysalis" - she spat out the name like it tasted like a raw clove of garlic - "could hypnotize a stallion and three mares, while holding an alicorn and Element of Magic Twilight Sparkle hostage in a cave, just before going hoof to hoof with Celestia herself, and all she had was somepony else's husband to power her. Maybe Thorax's idea of 'sharing love' is a more efficient iteration of that same circumstance- and since hypnosis is already a thing they can do, what's convincing a species to change how it feeds?"

"...You know a lot about Changelings, huh."

The sip of tea Cheerilee was midway through taking wound up coating the back of her hoof, staining the fur but thankfully remaining hidden from her guest. "Ah- um. I-I- guess I just found them interesting? A filly's got to have hobbies!"

"Okay," Starlight said as she brought down a fork against the cake and the lull in conversation. She brought a small piece of it up to her lips, pausing as she noticed Cheerilee looking at her fork with more intensity than she'd ever seen the mare with in her life. Cheerilee's gaze twitched, and she broke eye contact as early as it happened. Starlight set the forkful of cake back on the plate. "Uh, is something wrong?"

Cheerilee recoiled back. "Wh- NO no no no! Don't worry about a thing. I was just worried you wouldn't like the cake I choose, haha."

"You mean this red velvet cake?" Starlight gestured toward it with a floating knife. "My favorite kind of cake, which I overheard you asking Twilight about earlier this week?"

Cheerilee felt a bead of sweat staining the back of her head. "Well, yes. That cake, yep. I was worried that maybe the folks over at sugarcube corner made a mistake?"

"Don't even joke about that! They're the single best bakers I've ever seen. Or whatever the cake equivalent of a baker is."

"...That's still a baker, Starlight."

"Oh, well." Starlight shrugged, fell back on her seat, and plunged a forkful of cake down her throat followed by a chorus of happy humming. Cheerilee watched her guest's eating intently and allowed herself a small smile.

"So," began Starlight after a few bites of cake. "I'm still not sure why you think Thorax would do that to- uh, his brothers and sisters and cousins and stuff. Do you have beef with him, or something?"

Cheerilee studied Starlight's face intently while replying. "No, no, nothing personal. If anything, I think he's every bit of a hero as you describe him as!"

"And yet you think he brainwashed basically everypony- erm, everychangeling he ever knew?"

"You're making it look worse than it is. Look at it this way: both reports of changeling interaction we have involve extraordinary individuals. Monarchs, noticeably bigger, most likely stronger, possibly smarter individuals, and even then both Thorax and Chrysalis acted to feed the hive. Who's to say normal changelings know anything other than how to feed? Then it'd be all they'd do, no matter what you tried. From what we've seen, it's possible Thorax took the most merciful approach he had."

Starlight's face scrunched up, as if she was talking to somepony who had their back to the Sun. "Ohhhh. Oh no. Oh no no no no. You're making a little too much sense right now."

"Well, I've spent a lot of time thinking about it."

"I still think your little, uh, theory doesn't make much sense," declared Starlight triumphantly before her last bite of cake.

"Hypothesis, actually, since I didn't do any experiments about it."

"Pbbbthhhh." Starlight slouched back on her chair. "I don't think the specific word matters too much..."

Cheerilee's breath hitched, and she propped herself up on the table. "Well, I think it very much does. If we don't use the correct terminology, then the meaning of our words is muddied, which specially in pedagogy can have disastrous results. Imagine if ponies got hurt because somepony dressed up a dangerous idea as an 'unorthodox theory!'"

Starlight giggled to herself. "Oh ho ho, I can see why you and Twilight are friends." Starlight let out a huge yawn, and gulped down what remained of her tea. "Both of you are super nerds, and like... books, and, uh... reddish coat. Odd, Twilight said you were more relaxed than her..."

Cheerilee leaned forward, slowly. Nervously. "Starlight, are you... feeling alright? Maybe a little tired?"

"Hm? A bit, I guess. I get a little sleepy after eating sometimes."

"Are you sure? You seem quite tired to me."

"I don't know what you're on Yaaaawwnnn-bout, Cheers." Starlight sat up, stretched herself, lightly slapped her cheeks magically pinched her nose to try and fail to stir herself alert. "Is it okay if I call you 'Cheers'? Either way I think'll go for a nap at Twilight's now. Thanks for the food!"

Just as she stumbled out of her chair and stammered towards the door, she almost heard Cheerilee mutter an apology under her breath.

And that's when her world went dark.

Starlight began struggling against the bag as soon as she found herself in it. She tried teleporting out, but she seemed to have taken the bag with her through the flash of light, and under something wrapping itself around her. She went to call for help, but her breath drew in a sickly sweet stench like the inside of a dry-cleaner's. She resorted to blasting a hole clean through the bag and her assailant. She made an effort to stand still and focus as she charged a magical blast in her horn and shot it straight up.

She was equal parts horrified and intrigued when the bag resisted the blast, merely heating up as it absorbed the magical energy; the pony directly on top of the affected area wasn't as lucky, however, and Starlight allowed herself a smirk at the dull groan of pain of what must've been a tough blow to the kidneys, judging from the curses coming from behind her head.

The opening of the bag coiled shut as Starlight felt the rope around the brim be yanked, and soon her hooves were bound and she was falling to the ground, devoid of any way to stop her head from crashing against the floor.

Thump!

Starlight allowed herself one more whiff of whatever coated the inside of that bag just to fuel her scream of pain. She felt something warm going down the side of her brow as she was quickly dragged along the floor, her grip on conscience waning. Until she was dragged down a step of a stair and hit the other side of her head on the ground too.

"Oh, shit- Sorry!" Cheerilee choked out despite herself. Starlight felt herself being hoisted up and onto a pony's back, mystified by the voice she heard. Why was Cheerilee doing this?

Starlight decided to meditate on that after she got back to the fading waking world...

The first thing Starlight noticed after waking up was the splitting pain in her head. The second thing she noticed was the blinding light burning her retinas, and the third was the rope she was bound to a metal folding chair with. The fourth and fifth took care of the events leading up to her present situation, and the sixth was the lack of any magical beams zapping the mare across the room from her.

"Wh- mm! Hmm! Whhhhhh!" Starlight wrestled with language as she trashed against her restraints and shot out spell after spell to no avail. A tentative look away from her enemy and towards the ceiling brought attention to a brown lump where her horn was just later today. "Wahhhht thh fhhhk is thhht?!"

"Well, that is, uhm." Cheerilee flinched at the glare Starlight gave her. "R-remember how Chrysalis had a whole throne that stopped all magic other than the changelings' from working? This bag has fragments of it spread in its cloth, so it should keep you from using your horn... at least for a while."

Starlight listened to her explanation with more curiosity than she'd like to admit. "Well, okay, that's quite nice, but why does it even exist?! And why is it wrapped around my horn, while I'm tied to a chair in yourrrr-"

The room she was in had gardening tools spread around the left wall, with a pair of garden shears resting against a large bag of dirt, according to the picture on the front. The right wall had a chalkboard on wheels, in which Starlight couldn't recognize much more than her own cutie mark amidst a sea of lines. The far wall hadn't much of note except for what seemed to be a framed picture of Princess Celestia almost as tall as its subject resting against a corner, surrounded by burnt candles and dry flowers. Light came from a lone bulb hanging from the ceiling, and Starlight and Cheerilee were each two or three steps from the nearest wall, across from each other. Cheerilee was facing her wall.

"-freaky torture cellar?"

"Well, it's not a cellar, for one. And besides, I'm not going to hurt you."

"Oh, yeah, right, totally. How come?"

"A cellar is meant to keep food inside it cool, while a basement is meant for extra living space or storage. And besides," she turned around, dragging herself up to her prisoner, eyes glued to the floor. "I need you to do something for me."

Starlight's brows furrowed, and she trashed around as she said, "I don't care about either of those things! You can go and ask Twilight about whatever you need, not tie me up in your stupid cellar!"

Cheerilee drew in a breath. "Again, we're in a base- okay, okay." Cheerilee raised a hoof to both reign Starlight in and avoid stepping in the bit of saliva she just spat in her path. "Twilight can't help me and I wouldn't ask her for help in a thousand blue moons. I need you and you alone. Remember your, ahem, community, that you used to lead before the Elements of Harmony came along?"

Starlight's expression went from "petulant" to "horrified" in a single bound. "Y-you- you- how'd you even- I-I-i..."

"You changed the ponies under your control, didn't you? At least for a little while... Twilight told me all about it. Do you think you could do something like that again... but on a smaller scale?"

The horror and rage fighting inside Starlight reached a consensus. "What the- fuck you! Who do you even think you are?! I'm not going to help you enslave some innocent foal, you bastard!"

Cheerilee recoiled both at her choice of words and the force behind them. "Wait, wait, that's not what I meant! I just-"

"I don't care!" Starlight began throwing her weight in the vague direction of the wall behind her. "The moment I get this stupid bag off of me you'll be sorry!"

"Look, I'm sorry if I touched on something sensitive, but-"

"Sensitive? 'sensitive'?! You bashed my head against the fucking floor! I could be DEAD now! Why didn't you try to drug me first or something?!"

"I did! The cake was laced, but I used too little because I didn't know how much you weighted and I was afraid I'd poison you!"

"Oh, of course you did. And next you'll say that you were going to pay me for my 'services', yeah? GET LOST!"

"I AM going to pay you!" She ran off towards the bag of dirt, grabbed the shears in her mouth and slashed the side of the bag; bits came pouring out, clanking against the shears she spat out. "I'll give you as much as you want, okay?!"

Starlight paused halfway through getting ready to crash against the wall. "Ha ha ha ha. You really think I care about bits? I'm living in a castle! I could just go and ask Twilight for anything I want! In fact, I think I'll go and ask her to banish you someplace on the other side of the world for this once I get this stupid sack off."

Cheerilee suddenly bolted toward Starlight. Starlight flinched and slammed her eyes shut, found a rather odd lack of pain, and was struck harder than any hoof could manage when she opened a single eye and witnessed Cheerilee kneeling at her hooves.

"Please please please please PLEASE don't! I'm begging you! PLEASE! I NEED YOU! I have no hope left but you!"

"Wh- well I'm sorry, but I have no reason to do such a horrible thing against some random po-"

"But I need you to do it to ME!"

"...Come again?"

Cheerilee got up on shaking hooves, and slowly lumbered over to the shrine in the corner as if she herself was currently lowering the sun and raising the moon. "Okay, okay, okay." She tapped repeatedly against her cheek, slowly growing from lightly rapping against the skin to slamming full force against her skull. She drew in a breath like a heavy sword out of its scabbard, then dropped it right through her hoof and started sobbing against the wall.

Starlight, worried despite herself, squinted to try and if the quivering pile of red fur was okay. "Are, you, uhm, alright?"

Cheerilee violently shook her head. "N-not at all, thank you for a-asking." She forced herself to face Starlight and began to march towards her, body stiff as a nail. "Starlight Glimmer, I'm going to tell you a secret. This is something I've hidden away from everyone- pony or not, and you're about to find out why. So I need- absolutely need you to wait until I've told you the whole thing. Can you do that for me?"

The standoff between Starlight Glimmer's curiosity and sense of self-preservation came to an end.

She nodded.

Cheerilee wiped the chalkboard clean before pulling it up to Starlight. "I, uh, think this might help. Give me a moment..."

She grabbed a piece of chalk between her teeth, and sketched out a house and four ponies; Starlight, her analytic skills sent into high gear by stress, guessed this was a representation of her, her parents and a younger sibling along with her childhood home, and thus she studied every detail given to the drawing- from the spires marking it as belonging to Canterlot, through the lack of cutie mark on the flank of the chalk drawing of cheerilee, and to the smiling sun surrounded by triangles. Wait, what?

Cheerilee seemed as surprised by the sun as Starlight. "Sorry! Force of habit, oops!" She scratched the eraser against the chalkboard like she was trying to dig out of a coffin.

She stood beside the board, facing the wall behind starlight, cleared her throat, and began narrating.

Group Project

"It all started when I was about fifteen, I think. Every other pony in my class was raving about who they'd like to kiss or date or marry, and I wasn't far behind except for success. The closest I came to a real relationship was with this colt named Bottle Cap, who I had a crush on, but I never really worked up the nerve to talk to him before his family moved to Manehattan and he had to change schools.

My friend Macaroon came to console me the day after he did, and she assured me that I'd eventually find out the right pony for me.

If only she knew.

I still hadn't gotten my cutie mark near the end of that school year, so the school sent me, Macaroon and the other late-bloomers at-home aptitude tests. I was going to start work on mine after letting it sit for a day, but the Grand Galloping Gala was coming up, and since the palace was visible from my little sister's school they decided to host their own 'Tiny Galloping Gala' at the same time, for fun, with a whole dress code and everything. So, my little sister needed help with finding and getting a dress for the occasion. Bear with me..."

Cheerilee took a deep breath with a shudder. "So, I decided to get started on her dress even though my test was due way earlier just because she made puppy-dog eyes at me and I was bored out of my mind. So I decided to try my hoof at creating an 'ensemble' out of an old dress I had. But when we tried putting it on, it didn't f-fit, so I had to..."

Starlight pressed herself against the back of her chair as tightly as she could. "Woooooowwww, Cheerilee, that was, uh-"

Cheerilee shook herself and slammed her forehooves against the floor. "Bear with me! I'll get to the important part soon."

"...Okay. So you were saying you had to do what?"

"Cut it. Yes, the dress was too big, and so I decided to cut it, but for that I'd have to m-measure her body."

Starlight, her back straightened to the maximum, resorted to tightening her lips instead as Cheerilee turned back to the chalkboard.

She erased her family and childhood home, and in their stead she drew a smiling flower on top of a hill, basking in the sun's rays.

"I didn't ask her to undress. She just slid off of the dress, and stood in front of the mirror while I brought over the tape to her flank. And while I was behind her, measuring her barrel, a mote of dust landed on her pretty little nose and as she sneezed her tail shot up, and oh dear Celestia, can I ever forgive myself for even thinking it?" She laid down on the floor, sobbing. "What crime did I commit to deserve such punishment?"

If Starlight could bring a hoof to her mouth, she would. "Hey, hey! Cheer up, uhm, miss Cheerilee! That, uhm, situation you described doesn't sound like it came from you! W-who knows, maybe that was just your brain asking 'hey, wouldn't it be fucked up if this happened? Good thing it didn't!'"

Starlight risked a smile when Cheerilee raised her head from her front legs to look her in the eyes, but it slowly withered as she walked right up to her face, a hair away from her muzzle, letting out a sniff.

"I can't forget what happened after that, but the details are a bit fuzzy. She yelped and flinched away from me, and ran away to our parents, or at least that's what I think happened. All I knew is that there was this fire taking control of my body, and I wanted to stoke the flames. So I clambered into the bathroom, and locked the door."

Cheerilee backed away as she realized Starlight could lick the tears right off her cheeks. "After a while, thought came back and hit me on the back of the head. I must've stood there, mouth agape, for either ten or twenty seconds before I decided to try and look at my hoof. There was just the slightest drop of blood on it, almost invisible against my fur, and as soon as I saw it I ran to the skin and pratically began scraping it off."

Cheerilee took a hoof to her mouth and both her and Starlight gagged. "As I finished up, I heard noises outside the room. My sister had gone to get our parents, but she went back halfway through to put something on. They'd followed her yelling back to the corridor just outside the bathroom, and my sister, Celestia save her, was explaining what just happened, and I'll never forget her words.

'She saw my flower!'

It was then that I heard this shimmer, like a star was blinking. The bathroom was bathed in light, and I looked back to see this." She fell down on her haunches, and swatted the three smiling flowers on her flank. "These flowers... I was blind to their meaning at the time."

And thus, I came out of the bathroom, marching to what should have been my doom. But because of my sister's innocence, my parents didn't understand what happened. And when I came out, stamped with proof of my crime, my parents had this look of understanding wash over them. Then they did a little dance in the corridor together, saying 'I can't believe our little Cheerilee's already a mare!' in unison.

And those words were more shocking than any bolt of lightning could ever hope to be. They decided to celebrate the occasion by eating out at my favorite place, because Mom and Dad always take the sweet time before ordering the exact same thing, and I remember a waiter angrily asking what I'd like to eat. I stammered and just decided to share a big plate of smiling fried potatoes with my sister.

As the potatoes glared at me for letting them go cold, I happened to spot Macaroon. She was sitting alone at a table, looking about as forlorn as me. She was wearing a black dress that covered most of her body down to her back hooves, and her glasses were held together by tape now. Then, she saw me, and she grinned and ran over.

She gasped when she saw my cutie mark, which I must've decided to show off. 'You got your cutie mark already?! It's SOOOO cute! What's it for?'

'Uh, nothing.' What could I say?

'Come on! I'm sure it isn't that bad. It's probably better than mine...'

I saw an exit and took it. 'Wait, you have a cutie mark now too?! You gotta tell me first!'

'Nuh-uh, I asked first. Tell me!' She reared up then slammed her hooves down on the tile floor, turning a few heads toward us.

Mom came from my left with a devious grin on her face. 'You know, Macaroon, she hasn't actually told us what it means either... maybe she was saving it for dinner!'"

Dad flanked me from the right, pearly white teeth glinting in the incandescent light. 'Ohh, maybe the smiling flowers mean she'll be a dentist like her old man! That's what it is, right, Bug-bear?'

'Sorry, Mr., but it's probably a cutie mark for being a teacher's pet. Those flowers look just like a bouquet she brought to welcome a substitute teacher last week!' Macaroon teased with a gentle smile, unaware of the fact she'd just saved my life.

'I, uh, yeah! Something like that! It looks like that 'cause, uh, because I'm a great teacher! And I want to see my students, uh...'

Lucky me, I wasn't too far off.

'...BLOOM! Yes, like flowers! Right?' My sister finished, and all I could offer as thanks was a nod.

My parents then immediately had me in a bear hug, and my sister and Macaroon joined in not soon after; I didn't actually see them come, but I did hear their cheers get just a bit louder.

Life after that went almost smoothly. As I paraded my flank around in class, I started to truly believe it stood for my future as a teacher. I was absorbed in telling ponies all about it- all about what pedagogy meant to me and how much I loved working with children. In fact, I thought so much of my cutie mark I forgot about Macaroon's entirely.

That was, until we went on a friend's birthday party together and I got to see it for the first time, framed by her leopard-print coat and neon-green leg warmers, and held higher than her own head. It was a bundle of paper, bound in the middle by a blue ribbon. It took some effort to get her to talk about it.

'I've told you already, it's just a lame piece of paper. Why won't you stop bugging me about it?'

'Because I'm really really curious, and you keep dodging the question!' I sped up, and skidded to a stop right in front of her. 'C'mon, girl, my cutie mark is in teaching. Surely yours can't be lamer than that?'

She flinched back as if expecting to be hit. 'I-It can and it is! Look at it this way: society couldn't function without knowledge. Teachers impart knowledge to ponykind. Ergo, society needs teachers. You probably have the most important cutie mark in our class!'

'Okay, sure, it's an important job, but it's not what any foal dreams of becoming when they grow up. Now tell me: are you a reporter, carrying the hottest gossip of Equestria in that paper? Or are you a mailmare, delivering the love letters of princes and queens the world over? Or maybe, even a gifted writer working on her magnum opus! Tell me!'

Macaroon shrunk into herself, and let out a meek sound barely audible over the dance party music. 'I'm a bureaucrat...'

I did understand exactly what she said, which is why I replied with 'What?'

Macaroon's face twisted into itself as she lunged towards me, screaming at the top of her lungs. 'I'M A BUREAUCRAT, CHEERS! All I'm good at is signing my name on a paper! I'm like if a stamp was disgusting to look at! I'm like if a typewriter was meant to bring you down! I'm USELESS, that's what I am!'

She draped herself on top of me and cried into my shoulder until the skin underneath my coat was damp. While she cried, I slowly dragged her away from the party and into the filly's bathroom and away from everypony staring at her.

I decided to lug both of us into a stall and hug her until she stopped crying. 'Y'know,' I began once her sobs turned to sniffling. 'I, uh, I think bureaucracy is pretty important! how would we have, uhm, mayors, or I guess mortgages or whatever without it?'

It worked, since she raised her head to look through me. 'Cheers, Bureaucracy is a body of non-elected governing officials, and a mortgage is a loan given out by a bank or some other financial society. We're nothing like mayors, but at least we're not money lenders either.'

'Really? Well that's- I didn't know that! That's pretty cool. That you know all that stuff, I mean, haha.'

Macaroon let out a half-giggle after me. 'Mom did say knowing these things could be useful someday.' She hugged me tighter, and didn't make a sound for a while after that.

We sat in that grimy stall for anywhere between a few minutes to a few hours before she made a meek attempt at breaking the silence. 'Hey, Cheers?'

'Hm?'

'You... love your parents, right?'

I shifted a bit in my seat, because her weight was starting to hurt. '...Yes?'

'But do they love you back?'

I drew my head back. 'Y-yeah, I'm pretty sure they do, haha!'

She recoiled. But then she went quiet again.

I was getting sore from sitting on a toilet like that. 'So, uhm, are you ready to get back to the party? They're probably wondering where we are right now.'

She sat up, and I rubbed my legs to get blood running through them. Just as I was getting up too, she put a heavy hoof on my shoulder and glared right into my soul.

'I need your help.'

'You- okay, alright. What do you need help with?'

'Escaping.'

'What?'

I didn't press her on the details, and I don't think she would have said anything if I did. I did gather that she needed to get out of Canterlot more than she needed to sleep, though, so I thought I'd help her out. I thought twice about that halfway through actually helping her.

'You sure you want to do this?' I asked, pulling a granola bar out of my backpack and sitting down on the train seat opposite to hers. 'I mean, you won't be able to just go back after-'

Macaroon threw her head forwards to try to hide the spasm on her face. 'Yes, Cheerilee, I am sure. That's why I got on this train in the first place.'

'Wow, okay.' I made a show of opening the map in as fluid of a motion my mouth permitted. 'Anyway, if you don't mind me asking: why'd you choose this little farming village? I thought you had family in Manehattan?'

'Yes, I do have family there, and that's exactly why I can't go there. That's where they'd look first. Meanwhile, you didn't even know this place existed before I told you about it! And besides, this is the kind of remote little place that might genuinely need a bureaucrat. Or at least some pony who completed grade school.'

'Harsh. That's no way to talk about your new super secret villain hideout.'

'I mean it! They don't even have a school here. In fact, I think you should come live with me here because of that!'

'Nuh-uh! I couldn't just leave Canterlot behind. And anyway, the bits we saved up is only enough to feed one filly for a few weeks, and that filly is you. Wait, now that I think about it, how'd you get-'

Macaroon spoke as if she was trying to hold a yell of pain back. 'That's not your problem.' Then, as she heard her own raised voice, 'S-sorry, but I just really don't want to get into it. Thank you for all your help regardless.'

We stared at each other's for a few seconds before I grasped at any chance to change the subject. 'So, uh, real nice of those, uh, pear- no, apple farmers to host you like that.'

I spotted her cracking a minuscle grin just before the train went into a tunnel. ''Nice?' They're only giving me a roof over my head as long as I work for them!' She said it with a roll of her eyes, but the tone of her voice betrayed her gratitude. 'But I want you to know that I'll really miss you. How about you get to know the place? I was serious when I said Ponyville could use a pony like you.'

'...Eh, why not. I did tell my parents I'd bring something back for them; I can't come back with empty hooves now. Maybe I'll ask your hosts for, I don't know, a bucket with a hole in it or somethHRRBR?!'

The train had come out of the end of the tunnel, and as soon as it did I leapt out of my seat towards the lush green world beyond the near window. The train took a sharp curve just after I'd leapt, and thankfully caused me to crash against the carpeted floor instead of the glass window. I scrambled back up no worse for wear and pressed my muzzle against the glass, drinking in the sight like a mare lost in the desert who'd come across an oasis.

Macaroon gently reached a hoof to close my fallen jaw. 'I take it you think the place looks neat?'

I shoved back against the glass just to glare at her. ''Neat?' It's BEAUTIFUL! You gotta send me postcards as often as you can!'

Macaroon looked around frantically as she waved her hooves up and down at me. 'SHHH! The whole train is going to hear you at this rate! We're not supposed to be here, remember?!'

I fell onto my seat, panting. 'Sorry! Sorry, sorry. It's just that this place is so pretty, but I still have to finish school, but I didn't bring a camera, but my sister-'

'The place isn't going anywhere, Cheers. While you're finishing up in school, think about coming to teach here, mmmmkay?'

I quieted down, and formulated a question for her. 'Macaroon, could you-'

'Shh! Stop! Don't use that name!'

'..Why not?'

'It's the name my parents gave me. It's the name they'll ask around for. I came up with a new name. Do you want to hear it?'

I nodded solemnly.

'Okay, here goes: It's 'John Smith''

I broke into a fit of giggling solemnly.

'SHH!'

'Don't you- heh- 'SHH' me! You're the one that came up with that- hah!- name! I'm- PFFT- certain you can think of something better than the name of a toilet!'

'I'm not good at thinking under pressure, okay?! How about YOU try and come up with something?'

I pressed my back against the back of my seat. 'Okay, okay, okay! Sure, I can do that. Let me think...'

I though of the Macaroon I knew. The Macaroon that comforted me when I couldn't get a date. The Macaroon that saved my flank at that restaurant. The Macaroon that trusted me to help her. The Macaroon that always had a plan. The Macaroon that wouldn't leave anypony behind.

'Mmm.. Mayor Mare..?'

Macaroon's ears turned from the window a moment earlier than the rest of her. 'What was that?'

'Oh, sorry, I'm just thinking about your name aloud.'

'Yes, but what was that you said?'

''Mayor Mare'..?'

'Yes, that one! It's perfect!'

'Very funny, filly.'

'I'm serious! I like it! Who knows, I might be a mayor someday!'

'I don't- don't you have to be born in a town to be mayor there? And you can't just name yourself after your job!'

'Not in itsy-bitsy Ponyville you don't! And tell that to our teacher Chalkboard.'

'I- okay, well, aren't you a tad too young to be elected mayor anyway?'

'I have to start putting my-brand new!- name out there soon to have a chance when I run for it in a few years, 'Popular Vote' and all that. And besides, I could inflate a few details here, dye my hair gray there...'

'..Touche.' I raised a hoof and remembered the question I prepared earlier. 'But please, if you ever do become mayor, can you do me a favor?'

'Hm?'

'I want you to protect these green pastures, this little wonderland. Its ponies and its stories. So I can teach them for the next generation of ponies here. Is that okay?'

Mayor Mare smiled from ear to ear. 'I can do that, yes.'"

"Wow, uhm, that's- that's all pretty cool, Miss Cheerilee," responded Starlight Glimmer after what she thought was the end of her captor's story. "W-what does that have to do with anything, though? 'Cause, uhm, did Maca- ahem, Mayor Mare let you tell this story to anypony or-"

"No, no, no, don't worry about that." Cheerilee punctuated her "no's" by stomping as she walked towards the chalkboard once again. "What matters is, I took her up on her offer."

"...Yes, I knew that." Starlight gestured with her head at Cheerilee, causing the bag to cover her eyes. "Urgh- look, I'm supposed to help Trixie out with a magic show tomorrow afternoon- actually, how much time has it been since you dragged me down here? ...Is it already tomorrow? Am I late?!"

"Wait! There's- there's a clock, hung on the wall behind you. It's n-not late, you're not late, no. I'll try and hurry along anyway. You see-"

"If Trixie gets stood up, because of this, you're a dead mare. But do go on about the greatest secrets of your closest friends," Starlight finished with a glare from beneath the bag, angling her head just to allow Cheerilee to see her seethe.

Cheerilee swallowed dry. "Okay. Erm, as I was saying, I took up her offer to teach in Ponyville. My sister was a wreck as we stood together with Mom and Dad at the train plataform, and she started wailing when we heard its whistle. I said goodbye with a kiss to her forehead, and climbed up into the train." She erased the hill on the chalkboard, and drew a simplistic train in its place. "But while I sat there and traveled, I kept thinking about the fact I'd kissed her. I soon figured I would probably wind up missing my station if I didn't do something about those thoughts, so I walked into the train's bathroom and... got to work again."

"Wait, wait, wait." Starlight threw herself forward, the grating steel against the floor earning a wince from Cheerilee. "This is the second time you've gone to do something in the bathroom after touching your sister, but you haven't actually told me what that was. Tell me what you meant by that."

Cheerilee slowly turned towards Glimmer. "...What?"

"Don't play dumb."

"I- Starlight, I'm sorry for the way I've treated you, but this doesn't justify joking around right now-"

"I'M joking around? You're the one speaking in riddles!"

Cheerilee winced. "Starlight, p-please don't make me say it out loud..."

"Say WHAT out loud? You've given me no way to puzzle out what you did in there! Did you paint an impressionist painting with your poop or-"

"For the love of CELESTIA, Starlight! I was trying to avoid saying I jilled off to my sister out loud! Couldn't you be any more dense?!"

"...You what? Wait, wait, don't tell me," she added after witnessing the sheer sadness she'd inflicted on Cheerilee. "I, uh, think I heard Rainbow Dash say that sometime..."

Then, at once, Starlight Glimmer's face lit up with recollection.

A moment after, it collapsed in on itself.

"You did WHAT?" Starlight tried to leap away and teleport to Twilight's castle, but only succeeded in falling full-force on her side. "Ow, fuck, I- you- YOU GET AWAY FROM ME!" she snapped at an approaching Cheerilee. "YOU SICK PIECE OF SHIT! FORGET ANY PLANS YOU HAD FOR MY MAGIC, BECAUSE I'D RATHER YOU SPLIT MY SKULL RIGHT HERE AND NOW!"

Cheerilee bit her tongue so hard she tasted blood. "Look, I know I'm a monster, Okay?! I just- I just had no idea I was that bad at the time!"

Starlight paused her furious thrashing to at her. "H- do you seriously- HOW COULD YOU NOT KNOW THAT?!"

"Nopony talked about it. Nopony ever thought about it, including me. I guess I figured that was normal?"

"That doesn't- okay, never mind. I need to know, then: when did you figure out that you belong in Tartarus, then?"

Cheerilee grimaced. "A few years after I moved to Ponyville, me and Mayor Mare were celebrating the anniversary of her running away from home at her house when I noticed she wasn't paying attention to anything. I asked her about it, and after a bit of prodding she confessed to the reason behind that train trip all those years ago. The reason nopony ever came looking for her is because her therapist called the cops on her legal guardians- in fact, the whole thing was the therapist's idea. But the reason he called the cops on them is because they had a legal case to make: her parents were both guilty of owning illict videos of-" Cheerilee gulped "-of foals in sexual situations. Including their own daughter. That's all she managed to tell me before she collapsed in a heap on top of me and began screaming about how much she wants to kill both of her parents. And in that moment- in the most vulnerable my best friend has ever been in her entire life- I caught myself feeling curious about those tapes and I haven't forgiven myself since. And that's why I decided I needed to kidnap you- it didn't matter what happened as long as I did something- anything- about my sickness."

Starlight hid her genuine horror behind an eye-roll. "O-oh, yeah, yeah. Did your, uhm, students- yes, students, begging you to let them go not tip y-ARGH!"

Cheerilee slowly pushed the hoof she put on top of Starlight's chest down as one would go up a step of stairs. "Don't, don't, don't. I k-know I am the single most vile pony you have ever come across. I know I don't deserve the heat of Celestia's sun. You can come with other such truisms for me too, and I'll r-ratify all of them. But I will never allow you to so much as imply I would do such a heinous thing to my very own students when I would first commit treason for them. Do you understand?"

Starlight tugged at her bindings, trying to reach for the hoof pressing down on her sternum. She mouthed a yell, then a curse, then pleading as her ribs ached. She took one look at Cheerilee through tear-filled eyes and feverishedly shook her head up and down.

Cheerilee shifted her weight away from the hoof on Starlight's chest. "Thank you very much, Starlight Glimmer."

As Cheerilee walked away from her, Starlight Glimmer gulped down the gift of air. She thanked each and every pegasus who worked on the weather that day even as her bruised ribs complained from the sudden movement. Her chest raised and lowered a good ten times before she even considered slooowly raising and turning her head to look at Cheerilee again.

"O-okay, okay, you win. I'm sorry. A-about that comment, I mean. Uhm, w-what do you want from me?"

Cheerilee laid down on the ground, legs tucked under her body as her head was level with Starlight. "I need you to fix me."

Finals Week

Starlight leaned back into her recently-raised seat, and shot Cheerilee the most intimidating glare a bound, bruised, magic-less pony in the basement (not cellar) of a pedophile (not foal sex offender) could.

"So, let me see if I've got this right: you're got some sort of short-circuit up there," - she nodded towards Cheerilee's head, her own tilted to avoid being blinded by the bag - "that makes you feel hot for foals. And you want me to try and put a stop to that using magic. Is that it?"

Cheerilee nodded anxiously. "Y-yes, exactly. Although 'want' doesn't feel like urgent enough of a word."

"And you're absolutely certain that this is not some prank you brain is playing on you, but rather a type of, uhm, like, a facet of your... sexuality." Starlight's face rolled up into itself as Cheerilee nodded. "And that magic, specifically my magic, is the only way you found to change it?"

"Well, that's, ah, not entirely true." She turned to the corner of the room containing the Sun Princess' likeness. "I obviously couldn't turn to anypony to help, so I thought I would follow in the hoofsteps of the modern ideal of celibacy: the Convent of the Sun. Suddenly leaving town to don a habit would be too extreme, of course, but I once had to write a report on them for school and what I learnt back then stuck with me: to fight back against 'sinful' thoughts, they would train themselves to force Celestia's visage into their mind's eye to replace whatever it was that bothered them. I tried to emulate something like that, which is why there's a shrine to her right here."

"Hey, that's pretty clever, haha." Starlight risked a smile and then frowned twice as hard to make up for it. "I, uh, I'm guessing there's a big problem with that approach you haven't mentioned yet?"

Cheerilee nodded. "Burning her face into my mind was easier than I thought it would be. After a month of running down here from my study and back so many times a day while grading papers, I found I could just conjure it uo in my mind's eye, and that helped. But I began shutting the world off in defense whenever a student so much as brushed against me, and that wasn't exactly conductive to teaching. In fact, one time a filly stuck a nail through my chest and I only noticed it after I got home that day. That day..."

Cheerilee drew in a breath and blew it out. "T-that same night proved to me without a d-doubt that magic can alter these things. Effortlessly so, even. If three fillies can f-, can mix up a potion that makes two grown horses fall in love with each other and forget about everything else then s-surely you can cure me without breaking a sweat?!"

"Woa, wait!" Starlight dangerously teetered back on her chair, lunged forward to try and stay up, and almost fell on her face instead. "Look, that's not how my magic works. When I... enchanted their marks... I could only do it because of how much I hated them. Truly hated them. Couldn't-think-about-it-without-frothing-at-the-mouth hate. It's not something I can just do, so, uh, I think you should-"

Cheerilee suddently jumped onto her lap. "But don't you hate me?" She argued. "Weren't you promising to kill me just earlier today?"

Starlight gritted her teeth and sunk as deep into her chair as she could. "And I do still mean it, yes, but that's exactly why I'm not going to help you!"

"...But didn't you just say you didn't fully control it?"

"I- well I guess I did, but nothing of the sort has happened since t-the town, so-"

"Then take that hate and let it take its course against my sickness. Against the reason I dragged you down here in the first place. Here, let me get that bag for you..."

"WAIT!" Starlight shook her head at Cheerilee's outstretched hoof. "How do you know I won't just shoot you dead the very moment I can?"

Cheerilee recoiled, but then held her hoof in the air and her jaw agape.

"...I don't know."

"See? This was a stupid idea. Now if you'll just-"

"And I don't care."

Cheerilee slammed her hoof down with way more force than what she'd meant to use. "Either way, my students are safe. Either way, you get out of here to your fillyfriend's show on time."

"How'd you-"

"I'm going to take the bag off now, Starlight. Make your choice."

"Wait don't-"

Cheerilee's hoof met fabric. "If you need to focus, focus on the scum right in front of you. Focus on the backstabbing bitch who gave away a friend's greatest secret to save her own hide. Focus on the disgusting snake who wormed her way into a class full of children who think her love for them is normal. Focus on the most disgusting stain in Ponyville!"

Starlight stomped on the floor and shook in her chair. "What'd- stop! Stop it! I-I can't"

"FOCUS ON HOW MUCH YOU WANT ME DEAD! ENVISION MY SMOKING CORPSE AT YOUR HOOVES! MY ENTRAILS SPILLED OVER THE CELLAR FLOOR! BLOW MY RAPIST SCUM BRAINS OUT, STARLIGHT!"

"I-I-"

"DO IT!"

Cheerilee ripped the bag off her head.

The room erupted with a blinding, overpowering light.

"SHUT UP!"

Summer School

It was an early, chilly spring morning.

The Sun's light soaked through the morning's gray sky such that its light dripped uniformly down into ponyville, leaving no shadows beneath the very, very few ponies outside this early.

In a small cafe, one only open this early because its owner prided herself in doing so, sat two wide-awake mares among the odd stirring form of a hard-working pony.

Starlight cluched a bag against her chest, a bag she valued far more than the bits threatning to spill out of it. Her horn flickered and fizzled intermitently, repeatedly adjusting a bandage hastly dressed around her head.

She stared intently at Cheerilee, sat across from her and closer to the door. She enjoyed a cup of Earl Gray, balancing her cup on a hoof as she sipped from it with her eyes closed, focusing intently on its flavor.

She wore a dark purple sweater, and sat straight on her chair as she drew the cup away from her lips and set it down on its saucer. She opened her eyes, and met Starlight's gaze with a small startle.

"Is something on my face, Starlight?"

"Mmh?" Starlight quickly brought the bag between them. "Oh, no, no, no! Haha, uhm. But, do you feel... weird, somehow?"

"Oh." Cheerilee brought a hoof down to cover her flank. "You're wondering about what it means, too."

"What?!" Starlight brought her shoulders up in mock confusion. "Nooo! It's just, uh- you seemed unfocused, just now?"

Cheerilee tentatively lifted the brim of her sweater, like peeling off a bandage. She took a quick peek at her mark, the fifth since she'd invited Starlight for breakfast as thanks.

The flowers in bloom that once dotted her flank were now closed, dried up and muted of color. Some of the petals had fallen off, and were now forzen drifting towards her back hooves. Their faces were hidden, but Cheerilee felt that they would be frowning.

She drew the brim back down, almost ripping the fabric in her eagerness to hide. "Well, it's a mystery to me! Do you have any idea of what it could mean?"

"...I do have a hunch. You said you got you mark shortly after seeing your sister's... ah..."

Cheerilee leaned in. "Yes, yes, what about it?!"

"Well, while you were getting read to go out earlier, I snooped around your house. And I found this under your bed"

She rummaged through her bag until she found an old, yellowed sheet of paper. She magically pulled it out, showed it to Cheerilee, and then quickly pulled it out of the way of her hooves.

"S-starlight!? We're in public, please put that away this instant!"

"Nah. Why was this under your bed?"

"L-look, I don't know either. I was sure I'd burnt it down years ago! "

"It wasn't far from these magazines," - she pulled an old Playcolt issue from the bag - "It was tucked behind a box of them, even"

"I-it must've falled down there! I- listen." She propped herself up on the table. "I had no idea that was there. I haven't so much as entretained the thought of using that in years."

"That's great!" Starlight pratically shoved the drawing into her face. "Does it make you feel anything, still?"

Cheerilee looked straight through the paper. She then slowly forced herself to admire the form of colt she'd scribbled herself years ago, thin pencil lines emphasizing his wiry frame and colthood.

She came to her senses and batted the paper away. "I- Dear Celestia, Starlight! I don't get why you-"

Her voice faltered. She'd noticed an abscence, somehow. Not of something, but rather a sensation. An abscence both alarming and wonderful.

"...Starlight. I don't feel a thing. I DON'T FEEL A THING! YOU DID IT!" She leapt forward, knocking her teacup away as she tried to pull Starlight into a hug.

Starlight teleported from one end to the table to the other in the blink of an eye, causing Cheerilee to headbutt a bag full of coins. "That's wonderful to hear, Miss Cheerilee."

Her horn blinked, setting the paper she still held in her magic ablaze. "I'm glad that we could find a way through-" She immediately looked away, "-oh you're leafing through the porn mags."

Cheerilee leafed through the magazine, less admiring every toned stallion and more trying to burn as many of them into her retinas as possible. Her brow was furrowed as she stuffed the first magazine back and pulled out a second, this one featuring a collection of female creatures.

Cheerilee spoke as she admired a toned pair of zebras. "Starlight, there's something wrong. These... aren't doing a thing for me."

Starlight inched forward, sneaked a peek over her shoulder, and snapped back fully flushed. "Ch-cheers, uhm, I, uh, maybe we should continue this in private?"

"I don't see what you mean. Like, this isn't sexy at all." She showed starlight a centerfold of a griffon that could make the frozen north itself boil.

Starlight took the magazine from her hooves and stuffed it back into the bag. "O-okay Cheerilee, very funny. What got into you?!"

"Starlight, I don't-" Cheerilee paused as her eyes widened. "...You don't think that has anything to do with this," She showed her new mark again, "do you?"

"...Oh dear Celestia, it might. Are you sure you didn't feel attracted to, um, anything you just saw?"

"I'm sure, yes. D-do you think it's a temporary thing or..?"

Starlight thought for a moment, then helped Cheerilee off the table. "...I'm so sorry, Cheerilee."

Cheerilee blinked, but then gave a huge grin and placed a hoof on Starlight's shoulder. "Don't be! This is what I get for kidnapping you."

"Are you really alright, through? We could try enchanting you again! I'm free tomorrow, if you-"

"Starlight. It's fine. This is much, much better than what I had before, and I'm not going to risk having it come back by rolling the dice with you again. I'll... get used to this."

Starlight grabbed her in a hoof, and began walking around the table. "Well, if you change your mind, then you know where to find me. Goodbye!"

"Oh, wait, Starlight!" Cheerilee gestured towards the bag. "You forgot my magazines in the bag. Could you hoof them over?"

Starlight looked at her, then at the bag, and then tried to teleport herself along with the magic-proof fabric. She blinked away as the bag hit the cafe's tile flooring, then teleported back with a blush and an embarassed smile.

Cheerilee raised an eyebrow. "Starlight."

"You have no use for these anyway! They should go to somepony who can appreciate them!"

"...Fair point. But could you give me a few bits, then? I need to pay for my tea and I just realized I didn't bring my bit pouch."

Starlight stared her down, dragged a hoof on the ground like a bull, then threw a hoofful of bits at Cheerilee's hooves before running out the door and towards where Trixie's wagon was parked.