Equestria Girls Versus Goat Simulator

by SonnL

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Random, Equestria Girls, Crossover, Main 7 (EqG), Human
Length: 8459

The goats are now bringing the chaos to the human world.

The chaos in Equestria has ended. Now it's the Rainbooms' turn to deal with the goat menace!

I don't own anything. My Little Pony: Equestria Girls and Goat Simulator belong to their respective owners.

Published 2023-05-02 00:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2024-02-03 15:55:32 UTC

Chapter 1

In the land of Equestria, the ponies and other creatures experienced a new kind of chaos brough about by the Lord of Chaos, Discord. Taking inspiration from a certain video game trailer while gazing into the human world, Discord created four bizarre goats and let them run wild for his entertainment.

After the goats’ defeat at the Crystal Empire, Discord came up with a new idea. He decided to send the goats to the one world where his inspiration originated from.

During nighttime in the human world, a magical portal appeared out of thin air in the middle of a forest. Shortly later, the black goat was the first to step out of the portal. Next was the grey goat and then the white goat. Once the brown goat stepped out, the portal disappeared. The goats took a short time to look at their new surroundings before splitting up.

After wandering through the forest alone for a long time, the black goat came across a road. It crossed the road and just before it reached the other side, it turned its head towards some lights that were approaching at incredible speed. A moment later, the goat was struck by a fast-moving car, which then screeched to a halt.

After the car stopped, three individuals exited the vehicle and those were the human counterparts of the Diamond Dogs: Spot, Rover, and Fido. The trio took a closer look at the goat as it lied motionless on the road.

“Is it dead?” Fido asked.

“Of course it’s dead, you idiot! You just ran it over!” Spot snapped.

“What should we do?” Rover said nervously.

“The dead goat’s not our problem! Let’s just leave it!” Spot replied.

The goat suddenly got back on its hooves.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!! IT’S ALIIIIIIIIVE!!!!” Spot, Rover, and Fido screamed.

The goat swiftly knocked out Spot by headbutting him. It then latched its tongue onto Rover and slammed him into Fido. With the trio unconscious, the goat trotted to their car and demolished it with headbutts.

The next morning in Canterlot City, Sunset Shimmer and her six friends, the human counterparts of Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Rarity, and Applejack, were on their way to Canterlot High School.

“I am not looking forward to today’s biology class. Dissecting a frog is not in my list of things I’m interested in.” Rainbow groaned.

“I’m with you on that one, darling. The thought of looking at a frog’s guts is making me feel queasy.” Rarity shuddered.

“I hope I don’t lose my lunch over this.” Sunset jokingly said.

Upon arriving at CHS, the seven saw a crowd of students surrounding the school along with some police cars.

“What’s going on over there?” Fluttershy wondered.

“It seems an incident occurred at the school.” Twilight answered.

They joined with the crowd, and they noticed numerous broken windows, desks lying on the ground outside, and the front doors were broken down.

Sunset spoke to Flash Sentry, “Flash, what happened here?”

“The entire school has been vandalized. The hallways and all the classrooms have been trashed.” Flash explained. “I don’t know who’s responsible.”

The Mane Seven were soon approached by Principal Celestia. “I’m glad you seven are here. Come with me. There’s something I need to show you.”

Meanwhile, Vice Principal Luna made an announcement to the other students. “Students, in light of recent events, school will be closed until further notice.”

While the CHS students were taking their leave, the Mane Seven entered the school through the front entrance along with Principal Celestia. They saw the state of the school’s interior with their own eyes. It was just how Flash described it. The hallways were littered with papers, books, and various items from the student lockers, which were all dented and smashed open. The classrooms were filled with broken objects, including desks, tables, shelves, chalkboards, and decorations.

“Good grief! This is the worst mess I’ve ever seen!” Rarity gasped.

“This is awful.” Pinkie said in shock.

“Who or whatever responsible sure had been busy.” Applejack commented.

“It must be the work of evil magic!” Rainbow exclaimed with a grin of anticipation.

“I hope it’s not too scary.” Fluttershy shivered.

Celestia led the girls to the security surveillance room. Luckily, the security cameras and the security room were left intact.

“So was the culprit caught on camera?” Twilight inquired.

“Indeed.” Celestia confirmed. “The security footage I’m about to show you was taken earlier this morning. I must warn you. It might be a... bit of a shock.”

“After all the times we’ve dealt with Equestrian magic, I don’t think anything can surprise us.” Sunset said confidently.

Celestia then played the security footage, and the Mane Seven viewed it intently. The footage showed the white goat running around in the school trashing everything. After they finished watching the footage, the Mane Seven were naturally flabbergasted.

“You got to be kidding me. The whole school was vandalized by a goat?” Sunset uttered as she processed what she just saw.

“Now I’ve seen everything.” Applejack chimed in.

“I was hoping for a cool monster. What a bummer.” Rainbow sounded disappointed.

“I wonder where the goat came from.” Pinkie said.

“As you can see, this is no ordinary goat considering all the damage it did in such a short time. If Equestrian magic is connected, then I’m going to have to count on you seven to get to the bottom of this.” Celestia said to the group.

“Well girls, looks like we’ve got work to do.” Twilight sat her backpack down and brought out her dog, Spike.

“Yes! This is even better than dissecting frogs!” Rainbow jumped up with joy.

Later at the home of Wallflower Blush, the girl was tending to her garden in the backyard. She was humming and watering her flowers.

While she was completely focused on her task, the brown goat snuck into the backyard. It was using its tongue to drag a bag of glowing fertilizer across the garden. It approached a beanstalk and poured the fertilizer all over the plant. Once the bag was empty, the goat tossed it aside.

“Baaaaaaaaaaah...” The goat bleated, which caught Wallfower’s attention.

The beanstalk grew in an instant, surprising the girl. The goat kept bleating and each time the goat bleated, the beanstalk grew taller. The beanstalk soon grew to the height of a two-story house, and it continued growing towards the sky.

Wallflower gawked with wide eyes and her mouth hanging open, unable to utter a single word as she wondered how tall the beanstalk could grow.

At the human world’s Sweet Apple Acres, the grey goat was knocking down the apple trees by headbutting them.

“Stop knocking down our apple trees!!!” Apple Bloom tried to scare the goat away by whacking it with a broom.

Not feeling a thing, the creature ignored her. Big Mac then grabbed the goat and tried to hold it down, but it easily shook him off.

Seeing the commotion, Granny Smith stepped in to deal with the troublemaker.

“You’ve caused enough trouble here, you little rascal!” Granny Smith narrowed her eyes at the goat while rolling up her sleeves.

Granny Smith glared at the goat while the latter blankly stared back at the former. After a staredown that lasted for ten seconds, the goat charged at Granny Smith. The elderly woman managed to catch it by the horns with her bare hands.

“Don’t mess with this granny!” With strength that no one knew she had, Granny Smith hurled the goat with tremendous force, sending it miles away from Sweet Apple Acres.

Apple Bloom and Big Mac couldn’t help but stare with widened eyes and jaws dropping.

Inside Canterlot Mall, Adagio Dazzle, Aria Blaze, and Sonata Dusk were hanging out at the food court. Sonata ordered a taco and brought it back to the table.

“What’s the word on our next gig?” Aria asked Adagio.

“We’ll be performing at a rich brat’s party next week.” Adagio answered.

“Oooooh, a party! I can’t wait to go to a party!” Sonata spoke with an excited smile while Adagio and Aria just rolled their eyes.

Sonata was about to take a bite out of her taco.

“Baaaaaaaaaaaaah...”

“Huh?!” Caught off guard, the Dazzlings turned their heads towards the source of the sound. They were shocked to see a black goat standing right next to their table looking at them.

“What’s a goat doing here?!” Adagio asked with a dumbfounded expression.

“Awwwwww, isn’t it cute?” Sonata gushed over the goat.

“It looks ridiculous if you ask me.” Aria said flatly.

The goat swiped Sonata’s taco with its tongue and devoured it in the blink of an eye.

“WAAAAAAAH!!!! It just stole my taco!!!!” Sonata wailed.

In response, Adagio went up to the goat and gave it a threatening stare.

“Let me make one thing clear, dumb goat! No one messes with my sisters except me!” Adagio said angrily in the goat’s face.

The goat then chomped on Adagio’s hair.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!! GET IT OFF ME!!! GET IT OFF ME!!!” Adagio shrieked.

Aria tried pulling the goat away, and it pulled off a piece of Adagio’s hair.

“NOOOOOOOOO...!!!! NOT MY HAIR!!!!” Adagio cried out.

The goat spit out the hair, and Adagio’s face turned red with anger.

“Baaaaaaaaaah...” The goat dashed out of the food court.

“GET IT!!!!” Not willing to let the goat get away with ruining her hair, Adagio went after it along with her sisters.

The Dazzlings followed the goat to the parking lot but lost sight of it.

“Where did it go?!” Adagio growled.

The sisters eventually found the goat sitting on the driver’s seat in their van.

“HEY!!! THAT’S OUR VAN!!!” Adagio shouted at the top of her lungs.

The goat drove off with the van. The Dazzlings ran as fast as they could in pursuit of their van, but it was futile. While driving the van on the road, the goat erratically turned the vehicle left and right, nearly crashing several times.

The goat later drove off the road and crashed the van into a tree. During the collision, the goat flew through the windshield and landed on the ground with a hard impact. Few seconds later, it got back up and casually trotted away from the crash site.

Elsewhere, Vinyl Scratch arrived at the park. She stretched her arms and legs and put on her headphones. After selecting a tune on her MP3 player, she began jogging.

She came across Bulk Biceps, who was standing near a lamp pole eating a hotdog. Vinyl waved at him, and he waved back.

Right after Vinyl passed by, Bulk Biceps received a surprise headbutt from the brown goat. The creature then turned towards another man nearby and headbutted him as well.

Vinyl kept jogging, completely oblivious to the chaos that was going on behind her. The black goat flew around with a jet pack. It snatched a woman with its tongue and dragged her off the ground. The grey goat destroyed a water fountain with its eye lasers. While riding on a skateboard, the brown goat crashed into a bicyclist. At a hotdog stand, the white goat used a strange helmet to enlarge the vendor’s head. The grey goat tackled a police officer while enveloped in electric sparks, sending the officer flying into a tree. The black goat used a roar to blow away a group of people. The white goat was doing target practice with its firework launcher. Due to her headphones, Vinyl was unable to hear people screaming their heads off.

She continued with her jog until a trash can suddenly dropped right in front of her. Startled, she stopped in her tracks and removed her headphones.

“Baaaaaaaaaaaah...”

Hearing this, Vinyl turned around and saw the four goats looking straight at her. Perplexed, she raised her glasses and stared at the goats with a confused look.

“Baaaaaaaaaaah...” The black goat then rushed at her to deliver a headbutt.

After leaving Canterlot High School, the Mane Seven and Spike went to the Sweet Shoppe to have ice cream.

“We searched all over the school, but we couldn’t find a single strand of the goat’s hair anywhere. Spike wasn’t even able to pick up a scent.” Twilight stated.

“Sorry I couldn’t do more to help.” Spike apologized.

“No doubt Equestrian magic is involved.” Sunset said.

“EVIL MAGIC!!!” Rainbow shouted excitedly.

“If only I have a sample to study, we might be able to learn a lot more about the goat.” Twilight sighed.

“Girls, look!” Pinkie pointed at the TV, which was showing the news.

“One hour ago, an extremely bizarre incident occurred at the park. According to eyewitness accounts, the park was attacked by goats.” The reporter said.

The Mane Seven and Spike immediately paid close attention to the TV.

“I was just going on for a walk and this goat came out of nowhere and started headbutting everyone!” One witness said.

“It was crazy! One goat was flying with a jet pack and there was another shooting fireworks!” Another witness exclaimed.

As the girls and the dog watched the news, they saw the aftermath of the goats’ rampage at the park.

“Wow, I had no idea goats can be this aggressive until today.” Pinkie muttered.

“Unbelievable...” Sunset groaned while putting her palm on her face. “There are more than one of these goats?!”

“No matter what comes our way, we’ll always rise to the challenge!” Rainbow boasted with an eager expression.

Chapter 2

The four goats that used to create chaos in Equestria have just made their presence known in the human world. The Rainbooms are presented with a new challenge. The question is how will they fair against these unpredictable and bizarre creatures.

At the Sweet Shoppe, the Mane Seven finished watching the news concerning the recent incident at the park in Canterlot City.

“Come on! I say we go out there and hunt them down!” Rainbow Dash expressed her eagerness to face the goats.

“Before we do anything, we need a plan first.” Sunset said.

“Sunset’s right. We don’t know much about what we’re dealing with.” Twilight added.

“Psssssh. They’re goats. How hard can they be?” Rainbow retorted.

“Have you forgotten about our school and the news we just saw?” Applejack deadpanned.

“For all we know, they may be terrifying monsters taking on the form of goats.” Pinkie said while trying to sound spooky.

“In any case, darlings, we cannot let these goats go around unchecked. Who knows what they could do next.” Rarity commented.

“Exactly! We need to show the goats that this is our city!” Rainbow wholeheartedly agreed.

“First, we need a way to find them.” Sunset pointed out.

“If they’re magical, then I can build a device to track them.” Twilight said.

“I can also ask my bird friends to keep an eye out for them.” Fluttershy chimed in.

The front door suddenly opened, and entering the diner was one that walks on four legs and is covered in fur.

“Baaaaaaaaaaaaaah...!”

Everyone in the Sweet Shoppe turned their attention towards the diner’s new visitor. It was the white goat, and it was carrying a mechanical baseball pitcher on its back.

“AAAAAAAHHH!!! Isn’t that the goat that vandalized our school?!!” Pinkie shrieked.

The goat then fired a barrage of baseballs, prompting everyone inside the diner to take cover. Rarity conjured up a diamond shield to protect herself and her friends. Twilight used her telekinesis to throw the baseballs back at the goat, but the latter was unfazed. Pinkie threw her explosive sprinkles and destroyed the baseball pitcher on the goat’s back. Twilight then used her power to push the goat out of the Sweet Shoppe. After it was forcibly thrown out, the creature bounced on the ground for a few seconds.

The goat quickly recovered and as it got back on its feet, Rainbow sped towards it. “Take this!” She performed a karate chop on the goat’s head. And it did absolutely nothing.

The goat retaliated by latching its tongue onto Rainbow’s arm.

“What the?! Get your tongue off me!” Rainbow tried shaking the tongue off, but it kept sticking to her like glue.

The goat then swung Rainbow hard into the ground a couple of times before flinging the athlete far into the distance.

Shortly afterwards, Applejack tackled the goat and pinned it to the ground.

“Applejack, hold it still!” While the goat was pinned down, Sunset took an opportunity to look inside the goat’s mind.

She put her hand on the goat’s head and her eyes glowed white as she used her power. In the short time Sunset looked inside the goat’s mind, the only thing she saw was a strange, deformed world filled with nothing but goats doing random and chaotic things. Sunset’s eyes returned to normal when she came back to reality.

“I have... so many questions right now.” Sunset muttered with a baffled expression.

The goat’s fur then released electric sparks, shocking both Sunset and Applejack.

“Applejack! Sunset!” Spike and the rest of the Mane Seven cried out.

While Applejack and Sunset twitched uncontrollably, the goat started dashing away.

“STOP!!!” Twilight tried using her telekinesis to seize the goat.

The goat briefly slowed down, but it was resisting Twilight’s power as it continued making its getaway.

“I... can’t... hold it!” Twilight was straining herself to maintain her telekinetic grip on the goat.

The goat ultimately overcame Twilight’s hold and she fell flat on her face. The goat went towards a nearby manhole cover, lifted it with its tongue, and then jumped into the sewer.

Right after the goat fled, Rainbow came dashing back.

“Where is it!? Where did it go!?” The athlete shouted.

“I’m afraid you just missed it.” Spike answered.

Rainbow then noticed Sunset, Applejack, and Twilight lying on the ground groaning in pain.

“Sunset! Applejack! Twilight! Are you three alright?!” Rainbow asked with concern.

“Define alright.” Twilight said as she, Applejack, and Sunset got back up.

“We just met one of the goats and I know this is going to be such a huge headache.” Sunset mumbled.

“Find out anything about our furry friend?” Applejack asked Sunset.

“How should I put this?” Sunset replied. “It’s like when I looked into Pinkie’s mind but far more bizarre. But to answer your question, no, I wasn’t able to discover anything useful. I swear, that... thing... is more random than even Pinkie.”

Pinkie let out a long gasp. “How can anything be more random than me?” She said in disbelief.

“I think we all need some rest. Let’s meet up again tomorrow.” Rarity suggested.

The Mane Seven agreed to meet at Twilight’s house the next morning, then Spike and each of the Rainbooms went back to their homes. After hearing about her family’s encounter with one of the goats, Applejack set up a plethora of traps around her house and the apple farm.

Next day, the Mane Seven convened at Twilight’s house to discuss a plan of action.

“So Twilight, got something that can help us?” Sunset asked.

“I’m glad you asked.” Twilight then presented a locket-like device.

“Hey, this looks like that gadget you had with you during the Friendship Games.” Pinkie noted.

“I know. I still have some... unpleasant memories. But never mind about that. Here’s how this works. This device will detect the goats’ magical signatures if they’re within a 30-mile radius. Also, I can use this device to drain their magic.”

“Like how you once drained our magic.” Rainbow interjected.

“Exactly. When we find a goat, we just need to immobilize it long enough for this device to render it powerless.”

“And immobilizing a goat will be the tricky part.” Sunset added. “Another thing I’m wondering about is how many of these crazy magic goats are out there.”

Twilight’s iphone started ringing.

“Who could that be.” Twilight picked up her phone. “It’s Timber Spruce.” She noticed after seeing the caller ID. She then answered the call. “Hey Timber, what’s up?”

“Hey Twilight. I heard something terrible happened to Canterlot High. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. How are you and Gloriosa?”

“Never better. But... something weird happened at Camp Everfree.”

“What is it?”

“Early this morning, I discovered many knocked down trees while I was taking a walk on the hiking trail.”

“Trees were knocked down?”

“It sure is odd. I have no clue what could have done all that. And one more thing. Four wild goats just came to the camp.”

“Wait, did you just say... goats?”

“Yeah. And the campers have taken a liking to them. Here are some pictures.”

Twilight’s phone received some pictures, which were quickly viewed by Twilight and her friends. In these pictures, the campers were happily petting the goats and taking selfies with them.

Though the pictures did not show the goats causing trouble, the Rainbooms were still deeply concerned.

“Timber, keep an eye on those goats. We’re coming to Camp Everfree.”

Worried about Camp Everfree, the Rainbooms left Canterlot City posthaste and made their way to the camp via van.

Speaking of Camp Everfree, the four goats eventually dropped the nice goat act and revealed their chaotic nature. They spent nearly twenty minutes headbutting campers before taking their antics to the next level.

While wearing an elf hat, the brown goat launched snowballs everywhere. The snowballs created snow piles and snowmen and anyone that was hit by these snowballs will instantly have their head covered in a spherical mass of snow. The black goat was carrying a paint brush in its mouth, and the goat was going around painting over the tents and the outdoor benches and tables. While flying a hang glider, the white goat crashed into the rock-climbing wall and knocked it down. The grey goat carried some kind of energy saber that has three blades on each end. While running around, the grey goat repeatedly swung its weapon at campers in a frenzied manner. Lucky for them, the saber just whacked them like a baseball bat and sent them flying instead of slicing them apart. The white goat also went to the boathouse and blew it up with dynamite.

With all the mayhem going on, Gloriosa Daisy was starting to have a panic attack.

“I can’t take this! Why is this happening?! Somebody, please help meeeeeeeeeeeee...!!!” Gloriosa was so distressed that she was on the verge of tears.

The white goat approached her from behind and snatched her with its tongue. Gloriosa was then dragged away screaming.

“Gloriosa!” Worried, Timber ran after the white goat and his sister.

The Rainbooms just arrived at their destination. As Applejack parked the van, Twilight checked her device. “My device is detecting four magic signatures. No doubt about it. It’s those magic goats after all.”

“Then what are we waiting for!? Let’s go get them!” Rainbow shouted enthusiastically.

Right after exiting the van, the Mane Seven rushed towards Camp Everfree and saw many campers running and screaming.

“Looks like they already started causing a ruckus.” Rarity frowned.

At the camp’s main entrance, they found large piles of snow and a bunch of snowmen.

“Snow?! How can there be snow?! It’s not even winter!!!” Sunset exclaimed.

The group then heard Gloriosa screaming, and they saw the white goat still dragging her around. While running by, the goat tossed the camp director face-first into one of the snowmen. Gloriosa pulled herself out and began whimpering as the Mane Seven approached her.

“Are you okay?” Fluttershy asked gently.

“Do I look okay?! Goats are ruining Camp Everfree!!!” Gloriosa snapped.

The camp director quickly broke down sobbing as Timber stopped by hyperventilating.

“Twilight! I’m so glad you’re here!” Timber was greatly relieved upon seeing her.

“Good thing we came. Don’t worry. We’ll stop the goats!” Twilight reassured.

The Mane Seven split up. While Sunset assisted Timber and Gloriosa with evacuating the campers, the other Rainbooms went to confront the goats.

Fluttershy found the brown goat spitting snowballs all over the camp courtyard. The animal caretaker approached the goat peacefully, hoping that it could be reasoned with.

“Pardon me, Mr. Goat. Would you and your friends please stop what you’re doing? It’s not nice and you could hurt innocent people.” Fluttershy said nicely but sternly.

The goat responded by spitting snowballs at Fluttershy, burying her in a pile of snow. The goat was then walking away when it was struck by a barrage of Rarity’s diamond projectiles.

“A shame you chose the hard way!” Rarity grumbled at the goat.

“Yeah! No one acts mean to Fluttershy!” Pinkie yelled angrily.

The goat struck back by spitting snowballs at the two Rainbooms, but Rarity blocked the snowballs with a diamond shield. Pinkie threw explosive sprinkles at the goat, and it was blown away by a colorful explosion. The goat crashed into a nearby propane tank, and it was subsequently engulfed in a fiery explosion.

“OH NO!!! I DID NOT MEAN TO BLOW UP THE GOAT!!!” Pinkie screamed in horror.

While enveloped in flames, the goat spiraled in the air and landed headfirst into the ground. Even with its fur still burning, the goat got back up like nothing happened.

“Um, doesn’t the goat realize that it’s on fire?” Pinkie whispered to Rarity.

This time, the brown goat attacked by spitting fireballs, which Rarity stopped with her shield.

“IT SPITS FIREBALLS NOW?!!” Rarity screeched.

Elsewhere, Twilight found the black goat inside the cafeteria, painting and knocking over the tables. With her telekinesis, Twilight tied up the goat’s legs with rope.

“Now just hold perfectly still. This will be over soon.”

Twilight prepared to use her device to drain the goat’s magical energy. But before she could begin the process, the goat shapeshifted into a rhinoceros and broke free from its restraints.

“IT TURNED INTO ANOTHER ANIMAL?!” Of course, this is something Twilight did not see coming.

The rhino charged at Twilight, and the latter screamed as she ran for her life. The rhino chased after Twilight and the chase later led to the hiking trail.

At the tent area, the white goat headbutted and knocked down all the tents. As the goat was going somewhere else, it found Applejack standing in its path.

“This is as far as you’ll go. And don’t think you can shock me again. I got rubber gloves this time.” Applejack slowly walked towards the goat.

The goat stood on its hind legs. First, a small breeze erupted around the hind legs and soon, a bright blue energy flared up around the goat’s body.

“What in the...”

While Applejack was utterly dumbfounded, the goat struck her with a supercharged headbutt in the blink of an eye. The apple farmer was launched somewhere far away deep into the forest.

Back at the courtyard, Rarity and Pinkie were still dealing with the brown goat. Rarity conjured diamond shields to defend against the goat’s continuous barrage of fireballs.

“Rarity, I got an idea! I’m going to lure it to the lake and when I give the signal, you push it into the lake!” Pinkie told the fashionista.

While running, Pinkie yelled and waved at the goat to get its attention.

“Hey, you stupid goat! Bet you can’t hit me!” Pinkie taunted while sticking her tongue out.

Taking the bait, the brown goat went after Pinkie as it aimed its fireballs at the party planner. Some of the fireballs singed Pinkie’s hair as she ran towards the lake with the goat in pursuit and Rarity not far behind.

Once close enough, Pinkie gave the signal. “NOW, RARITY!!!!”

Rarity launched a giant-sized diamond shield, which bashed the brown goat with great force. The goat was pushed into the lake and the flames covering its body extinguished. Pinkie and Rarity then gave each other a high five.

Rather than attacking the duo again, the goat opted to retreat. A pair of angelic wings sprouted on the goat’s back, and it flew away. Pinkie and Rarity stared with their mouths hanging open as the goat disappeared into the horizon.

Near the beach area, Rainbow Dash was throwing random objects at the grey goat. The creature simply used its energy saber to swat anything Rainbow threw at it. She later threw a sandbag and once it was sliced open, the goat’s face was covered in sand.

Using super speed, Rainbow snatched the goat’s saber. Curious about the weapon, Rainbow examined it.

“Where in the world did you get this?” Rainbow wondered.

The weapon suddenly poofed and disappeared into thin air.

“What happened to it?!” The athlete was taken aback.

While Rainbow’s guard was down, the goat latched its tongue onto her. However, she was prepared for it this time. She ran around the goat at blinding speed and wrapped the goat’s neck with its own tongue.

“Ha Ha! Gotcha!” Rainbow grinned.

However, the goat has its own bag of tricks. It shapeshifted into a small orange fish.

“IT CAN TURN INTO A FISH?!!!” Rainbow had a difficult time processing this as the fish was sliding across the ground and heading towards the lake.

“Never mind! Catch it first, ask questions later!” Rainbow tried grabbing the fish with her bare hands only for it to slip out of her fingers.

“Oh, come on!” With increasing frustration, the athlete continued with her attempts to grab the fish, but it kept slipping out of her grasp.

Eventually, she grabbed a fishing net and caught the fish just before it jumped into the lake. “You’re not getting away from me that easily!”

Unfortunately, the white goat soon hit Rainbow in the back with a supercharged headbutt, sending the athlete flying into the middle of the lake. Thanks to the white goat’s intervention, the fish made its escape.

Sunset then attacked the white goat with an overhead strike using a canoe paddle. The paddle broke, but the goat was unfazed. The creature turned around to face Sunset.

“Uh, my bad.” Sunset said sheepishly.

The goat proceeded to headbutt Sunset. After that, the goat came under attack by an army of forest critters.

“I wanted to settle this the nice way, but I’M REALLY ANGRY!!!” Fluttershy bellowed.

The goat decided that it was done with Camp Everfree, so it made a hasty retreat into the forest.

At the hiking trail, the rhino was still chasing Twilight.

“HOW LONG DO I HAVE TO KEEP RUNNING?!!” Twilight cried out as she ran for dear life.

Fortunately, someone soon came to her rescue. Jumping in the rhino’s path was Applejack, who used her super strength to stop the rhino.

“I don’t know where you came from or why you’re after Twilight but KNOCK IT OFF!!!”

Applejack hurled the rhino, and it flew through several trees before landing hard on the ground. The rhino then changed back to its original goat form.

“Now, I’m more perplexed than ever before.” Applejack uttered with a surprised expression.

“Apparently, the goat, or whatever it is, is a shapeshifter!” Twilight explained.

The black goat ran away from the two Rainbooms and fled deeper into the forest.

“Get back here!” Applejack yelled as she and Twilight pursued the goat.

It wasn’t long before they lost sight of the creature. Twilight tried using her device to track the goat, but it was already out of range.

With the goats gone, the Mane Seven took a breather. Rainbow Dash returned to the camp, and she was soaking wet. After she put on some dry clothes, the Mane Seven gathered at the courtyard.

“Okay, guess dealing with the goats is easier said than done.” Rainbow admitted.

“Just what in the world are we dealing with?! Are they even goats at all?!” Twilight hollered.

“Take a deep breath, Twilight. I know we just had a rough time. But we’re not going to let them keep us down. We never give up before, and we won’t now. Let’s talk about those creatures. Maybe it can help us better prepare for future encounters.” Sunset suggested.

The Rainbooms went over their recent encounter with the goats, with Twilight taking notes.

“Wait a minute. I just thought of something!” Something just occurred to Pinkie.

“Pinkie, what is it?” Twilight inquired.

“Those goats. Don’t they remind you of that video game about playing as a goat?”

Chapter 3

At Camp Everfree, the Rainbooms had a showdown with the goats of chaos. Sadly, the confrontation ended with no positive results. After the goats left the camp, the Mane Seven took the time to discuss the four creatures, hoping to gain a better understanding of them.

“Those goats. Don’t they remind you of that video game about playing as a goat?” That was the question Pinkie asked during their discussion.

“What are you talking about?” Sunset responded with another question.

“Check these out.” Pinkie then took out her iphone and spent the next few minutes showing gameplay videos of the Goat Simulator series.

“So, Equestrian magic made goats similar to the ones from Goat Simulator?” Sunset pondered.

“Or maybe, a magical being of chaos brought them into existence so he can amuse himself by watching them give everyone else headaches.” Pinkie thought out loud.

In response to how oddly specific Pinkie was, the other Rainbooms merely raised their eyebrows for a moment.

“All random thoughts aside...” Sunset groaned. “If Goat Simulator is indeed connected to all this, then at least we have something to go on. Once we’re back home, we need to do some research. But first...” She then looked at Camp Everfree, which is in shambles. “I think Gloriosa and Timber are going to need some help.”

The Rainbooms pitched in to fix up Camp Everfree. After doing all they could, they bid farewell to Gloriosa and Timber and returned to Canterlot City.

Right after coming back home, six of the Mane Seven spent the rest of the day committing themselves to research. Sunset, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie played Goat Simulator, its DLC expansions, and Goat Simulator 3. Applejack, Rarity, and Fluttershy researched using the internet. Twilight opted to focus her time and energy on preparing some equipment.

The four goats did not do anything for the next few days, allowing the Rainbooms to spend many more hours doing their research without any worries. Three days after the chaos at Camp Everfree, the Mane Seven gathered again at Twilight’s house for a team meeting. The girls had some drinks and snacks before beginning a lengthy discussion about their research thus far. During the discussion, Rainbow and Pinkie bragged about the trophies they collected and the achievements they completed.

“Life would be so much fun if all research involves playing video games.” Rainbow grinned.

“The developers made an interesting choice to skip over the number 2 and go right to number 3.” Rarity remarked.

“Have any of you found out if the goats have any weaknesses?” Spike asked.

“I’m not sure if anything CAN stop them. They can get hit by a car or get blown away by an explosion, and they’ll just walk it off like it’s nothing.” Pinkie answered.

“Can’t we ask Coffee Stain for advice?” The dog questioned.

“I’m sure they didn’t expect goats to be empowered by Equestrian magic.” Sunset replied.

“It appears the only viable solution we got is to drain their magic.” Twilight chimed in.

“The problem is there are a lot of Mutators and Gears that they can use at any given moment. Unless any of us can see the future, there’s no way of knowing what the goats will use next. When we face them again, our best shot is draining their magic as quickly as possible.” Sunset stated

“Then it’s a good thing I’ve been busy as well. I made more magic-draining gadgets, one for each of us.” Twilight said proudly as she provided a locket-like device to each of her friends.

“More of these should improve our fighting chances against the goats.” Applejack commented.

“Oh, I can’t wait to try this out. I do have a score to settle with the white goat for hurling me far away and headbutting me into a lake.” Rainbow muttered.

“There are names for each of the goats, darling.” Rarity interjected. “The grey goat is Pilgor, the brown goat is Geten, the white goat is Mark, and the black goat is Midnight.”

“To be honest, I didn’t pay attention to their names. But I suppose it’s better than just calling them grey goat, brown goat, white goat, and black goat.” Rainbow replied.

“Also, according to my research, Pilgor and Midnight are female and the other two goats are male.” Rarity added.

“So what next? Are we just going to wait for the goats to return? Fluttershy asked.

“I guess so. After all, trouble always come to us anyway.” Sunset said.

With nothing left to discuss, the team meeting ended. Sunset, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie continued playing the Goat Simulator games while the rest of the group watched gameplay videos online. The goats did not appear, and the day went by without any incidents.

The sun had set, and night had fallen. Since the incident at Camp Everfree, things have been uneventful for the Rainbooms, aside from all the research on Goat Simulator.

After 10 PM, most of the people in the city, including the Mane Seven, went to bed. It was supposed to be a peaceful night like any other.

However, four certain creatures don’t require any sleep. Around 12 AM, the four goats returned to Canterlot City, ready to cause more trouble while the Rainbooms were sleeping soundly in their homes.

Somewhere in the city, a man just drove back to his house. He stopped his car and opened the garage remotely. He was about to park his car inside the garage when a white goat suddenly walked in front of his vehicle and blocked his path.

“A goat?! Where did it come from?!” The man was taken by surprise.

He stared at the goat with a bewildered look and waited for it to leave. Mark continued not moving a muscle.

“Come on! Get out of the way already!” The man tried to make Mark move by pressing the car horn.

Without warning, the left front side door was forced open. The man immediately looked to his left and saw a black goat. Before he could say anything, Midnight used her tongue to pull him out of the car and threw him aside. The two goats hopped into the car and drove off with it.

“Stop!!! That’s my car!!!” The man screamed.

After twenty minutes of driving, the goats headed towards a gas station and crashed the car right into it, blowing it up. Both goats were sent flying by the explosion.

Mark was launched to Carousel Boutique while Midnight ended up at a nightclub. All the people in the nightclub were startled when a goat suddenly dropped in through the roof. Midnight lay on the floor for a short time and then got up like nothing happened. The nightclub patrons kept staring at the goat.

“Is it okay?” A woman asked.

Midnight shifted to Devil Goat form and used her demonic powers. The nightclub was filled with terrified screams as the goat telekinetically put people together into the shape of a ball and threw them around.

Elsewhere in Canterlot City, Pilgor and Geten went to a bank. The two walked up to the front glass doors, and Pilgor shattered them with a headbutt. Next, they went straight to the vault. Pilgor transformed into muscular form and dented the vault door with several headbutts. Both goats then latched their tongues on the door and pulled it open.

Outside, the police arrived and formed a perimeter around the bank.

“THIS IS THE POLICE!!! WE HAVE YOU SURROUNDED!!! COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP AND SURRENDER!!!” An officer shouted through a megaphone.

Soon after, Pilgor and Geten trotted out of the bank while carrying bags full of cash in their mouths. The police officers were at a loss for words as they stared at the goats with their mouths hanging open.

“Uh... DROP THE BAGS!!! And... PUT YOUR FRONT HOOVES WHERE WE CAN SEE THEM!!!”

A circular metal shield materialized on Pilgor’s back and a sword appeared on top of Geten’s head. Pilgor dropped her bags of cash and used her tongue to hurl her shield. When it knocked down one of the officers, the shield ricocheted and knocked down more officers. Geten’s sword created a burst of light, sending officers and police cars flying. But due to the recoil of the blast, Geten was launched backwards.

The next morning, the Rainbooms saw the news of the previous night’s events and gathered at a café.

“It happened. Our troublesome friends have returned.” Twilight started off the conversation.

“Of all the times for the goats to come back, it had to be when we were all asleep!!!” Rainbow expressed her irritation.

“I can’t believe they blew up a gas station!” Sunset exclaimed. “Good thing no one was there at the time.”

“And why would two of the goats rob a bank?! What could they possibly use the money for?!” Applejack questioned.

“The one thing about the goats, Applejack, is that you can’t apply any logic to them.” Pinkie said.

“That’s rich coming from you.” The apple farmer replied.

Rarity’s phone suddenly received a text. The fashionista quickly took out her phone to check the message.

“It’s from Prim Hemline.” Rarity noticed.

She read the text, and she had a look of fear on her face.

“What’s wrong, Rarity? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Sunset wondered.

“Something terrible has happened to Carousel Boutique!!!” Rarity shrieked.

The Rainbooms arrived at Carousel Boutique as soon as they could, and Rarity was utterly horrified by what she saw. All the dresses she worked on are now in tatters. The security footage revealed Mark to be the culprit.

“Oh no. I know what’s coming next.” Rainbow uttered nervously as she prepared for an outburst from Rarity.

“UNFORGIVABLE!!! SIMPLY UNFORGIVABLE!!! Such crimes against fashion shall not go unanswered!!!” Rarity bellowed in rage with tears streaming down her face.

Meanwhile, a bunch of people were enjoying a nice sunny day at the beach.

Sandalwood was relaxing on a beach chair and calmly gazing at the sea. He later turned his head to the left and spotted something... unusual. He squinted his eyes and saw what appeared to be a shark’s dorsal fin moving around on the sand.

“A shark? On land?” Sandalwood thought to himself.

He rubbed his eyes before looking again to make sure that his mind wasn’t playing tricks on him. However, it was clear as day. There was a shark moving through the sand like it was swimming in it. And it was coming closer and closer.

“LAND SHARK!!!!” Sandalwood screamed out in terror.

His scream instantly caught the attention of nearby beachgoers. They spotted the shark and stared with baffled expressions. Then popping out of the sand was a hammerhead shark riding on a skateboard.

The beachgoers flew into a panic, let out very loud screams, and ran from the shark as fast as their legs could carry them.

While the shark was terrorizing the beach, Geten and Pilgor were creating chaos at the movie studio. Geten was driving a pickup truck at high speed with Pilgor riding on the back of the vehicle. Pilgor was also equipped with a device that resembles a railgun.

Geten demolished the movie sets in their path by driving the truck right through them. Pilgor just fired bright purple energy beams randomly without aiming.

Actors and studio staff members alike scattered and leaped out of the truck’s path to avoid getting run over. Unfortunately for some of them, they got hit by the purple beams, which sent them flying.

“WHAT IN THE WORLD IS GOING ON HERE?!?!!” Chestnut Magnifico screeched with great exasperation. “CAN SOMEONE EXPLAIN WHY THERE ARE GOATS DRIVING A TRUCK?!?!!”

Magnifico was then struck by a wayward energy beam. She screamed as she was sent flying, and she landed on a buffet table somewhere else in the studio.

Geten later drove towards a fuel truck. The two goats jumped off moments before their truck crashed. Geten and Pilgor both walked away from the explosion in slow motion.

After the two goats left, Canter Zoom was aghast to see his movie set in a disastrous state.

“WWWHHHHHHYYYYYYYY MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?!?!?!” The movie director cried out as he dropped to his knees.

Back at Carousel Boutique, Rarity was still having an emotional meltdown when the Rainbooms’ locket devices started beeping. Alarmed, they took out their devices. Each of their lockets displayed a holographic map of Canterlot City, and it showed four blips indicating the goats’ positions. Two of the blips are close together, one is just miles away from the Rainbooms’ current location, and the fourth is a great distance away from the other three.

“Looks like the goats are at it again.” Twilight uttered.

“But this time, they’re not together.” Pinkie added. “Let’s split up.”

“Wait!” Sunset interrupted. “I think... it’s best we all go after the nearest goat together.”

“Are you sure?” Applejack asked. “Focusing all our attention on one goat will also be allowing the other three to run amok.”

“I know. But think about this. Together, we have a good chance of defeating a single goat while it’s alone. If we can beat one goat now, it’ll make dealing with the rest less difficult later on.” Sunset explained.

“Alright. Then we better get a move on.” Applejack accepted Sunset’s reasons.

Deciding to go after the nearest goat together, the Mane Seven made their way towards its location. Upon arriving there, they came across a crowd of screaming people that were running away from whatever was terrifying them. The Rainbooms looked up and saw a flying saucer firing green energy blasts. They also heard Snips and Snails among the crowd.

“A flying saucer is attacking the city!!!” Snips yelled.

“It’s an alien invasion!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!” Snails shouted.

The Rainbooms gazed at the saucer as Snips and Snails ran past them.

“No doubt the goat is piloting that thing.” Rainbow said just before an energy blast landed near the Mane Seven. “We need to bring it down! Any ideas!?”

Rarity materialized her diamond constructs, and Pinkie coated them with explosive sprinkles. The fashionista then launched her constructs at the spaceship. The constructs exploded on impact, causing the saucer to come crashing down.

Emerging out of the downed saucer was Mark, and the Mane Seven were right there to greet him. They wasted no time activating their lockets.

“THIS IS PAYBACK FOR THE TWO TIMES YOU SENT ME FLYING!!!!” Rainbow roared with fury.

“THIS IS FOR ALL THE BEAUTIFUL DRESSES YOU RUINED!!!!” Rarity thundered.

“AND THIS IS FOR OUR SCHOOL!!!!” Twilight followed.

With all seven Rainbooms using their devices at the same time, Mark was losing energy at a rapid rate. However, before they could complete the draining process, multiple white goats were raining down from the sky, taking the Rainbooms by surprise.

“Mark just used the Goat Queen ability! The goats that fell from the sky are distractions!” Pinkie told her friends.

“Wait a minute. Isn’t Mark supposed to be wearing a goat skull mask?” Rainbow pointed out.

“Never mind the technicalities! Don’t let him get away!” Sunset urged.

A megaphone materialized on top of Mark’s head, and he unleashed a sound blast that knocked the Mane Seven off their feet. He then tried to make a run for it but couldn’t run fast enough for a quick escape due to being weakened after losing a large portion of his magic. A flock of birds arrived and impeded Mark by swarming over his face.

Twilight got back on her feet and rushed towards the goat. Using her left hand, Twilight pinned Mark down with telekinesis. With her locket in her other hand, she resumed draining his magic. A strange metal helmet materialized on Mark’s head, and it released a beam that enlarged Twilight’s head. While she was reeling in shock, Mark shapeshifted into an ostrich and made another attempt to flee.

Before Mark could get very far, Rarity launched her diamond projectiles. They hit him on the head and right foot, causing him to stumble. Applejack then threw a vending machine at him, knocking him down to the ground hard. The apple farmer seized Mark by the neck with her lasso, and the other Rainbooms, except Twilight, joined together in draining his magic.

Mark reverted to goat form as he lost the rest of his energy. His body went limp, not having any strength to move a muscle.

“Yes! We did it! We have beaten Mark!” Pinkie jumped up with joy.

“Oh yeah! Score one for the Rainbooms!” Rainbow cheered.

“Um... hello everyone! What about me?!” Twilight got her friends’ attention.

“So Twilight, have you gotten... smarter?” Rainbow snickered before bursting out with hysterical laughter.

“Har Har. Very funny.” Twilight grumbled with annoyance.

Her head then returned to normal.

“Oh thank goodness the effect wasn’t permanent.” Twilight expressed great relief.

“Awww, I wish I had taken a picture.” Rainbow facepalmed.

“Anyway, what should we do with this ruffian?” Rarity wondered about the fallen goat.

As the Mane Seven were contemplating on what to do with Mark, his body started to fade away.

“Hey... what’s happening to him?” Fluttershy said softly while the other Rainbooms stared in shock and silence.

Very soon, the goat’s body vanished completely.

“Apparently, the goat was never a real living being. He was just a magical construct.” Pinkie said.

“This means... Our goat friends weren’t originally ordinary goats given power by Equestrian magic.” Sunset realized.

“I still say they were created by a powerful being of chaos.” Pinkie remarked, but the other Rainbooms just ignored her.

“Regardless, this isn’t over until we beat the remaining three goats.” Twilight spoke up.

The Mane Seven checked their lockets for the other goats, but their devices are not currently pinpointing their locations.

“Seems like they decided to call it a day.” Rainbow said.

“Don’t worry. We’ll find another chance to get those goats.” Sunset assured.

On this day, the Mane Seven got themselves a win. Even though there’re still work to be done, at least the Rainbooms can go home knowing that the goats are not unbeatable.

In the alternate dimension inhabited by a certain Lord of Chaos, the draconequus named Discord had watched every goat-related event that transpired in the human world through the TV in his house. He saw Mark’s defeat, but he wasn’t fazed in the slightest.

“Oh fine. You seven can have this victory. Besides, three goats are still more than enough to create quality chaos.” The draconequus said with a smile.