Author's Note

Another chapter, this one, i had a lot going on in life while writing it, so please forgive if it's not my best one yet. But good news, I did learn something important while writing it, so the next one is defenetely going to be a level higher!
But you think it's bad, then I encourage you to tell me why in the comments, so I can get better, Thanks!

That's what it's all about

The dim evening light coming from the window together with the lamp on the ceiling lit the room well. Lying on my back on the floor with a light smile - my learned response to fear or anxiety, I looked up into Scythe's shotgun barrel enveloped in his red magic and pointed right at me. To assert my situation, I looked around the room, and saw small pools of blood spilling from my captors lying on the floor while they coughed or moaned in pain.

"Don't worry about them," he waved his hoof and said dismissively. I looked back at him, waiting for what he was going to do next. "I saw you got quite accustomed to your friends here, " he nodded towards Flame Bash and the tweezers that lay on the floor next to me. "But I hope it wasn't anything serious?" He asked, raising one of his brows.

He's asking me that? He's giving me a choice…

He's not going to like my answer…

Somehow it's still good to see him anyway.

"I was starting to wonder wether you were going to show up!" I said with a cheer, making my smile more relaxed, and started to get up while getting a closer look at him. He hid his ears by bandaging them, and dressed in some merchant armour to look like a normal pony. Smart. I expected him to do something more… raiderly, not something smart like that.

He didn't stop pointing the gun at me as I got up, and he just stared at me.

That was worrying.

"Did you… bring me anything?" I asked with a slight pretention, " and stop pointing that fucking thing at me!" With a smile that was getting a bit nervous I pushed the rifle away from me.

"Sure." He levitated a knife.

That length, the brown handle, the bevelled end, those familiar scratches!

I instantly recognised. My knife! He levitated it to my mouth. I bit the handle and smiled widely.

I noticed that he was pointing his shotgun at me again while watching me carefully. That was getting very worrying.

"Kill them, and we'll be on our way" He said while glancing at the lying and bleeding ponies on the floor next to the beds, not lowering the shotgun.

So it's a test.

I looked at them too. Silver Shine and Flame Bash? With pleasure. But Bear Hearts? He was the only one that treated me… Well better than them at least.

Silver Shine looked at me too. Carefully watching my next move.

"I kill them and everything goes back to as it was?" I asked Scythe

"I hope you don't have a problem with that?" He asked, and I felt the cold barrel touch the back of my head.

I do, and He knows that.

My heart started beating fast. I knew I was going to have to kill him. I can't fuck that up. I don't want to find out if he'll actually fulfull his threats from few days ago.

"No. Compared to this," i nodded towards my captors bleeding on the floor in the small room, "I Like being a–" I lowered my head to avoid the shot, turned around instantly, and jumped on Scythe as fast as I could. He shot, missing my head, The gunshot stunned me, and a high pitched buzz filled my ears. He used that moment to hit me over the head with a shotgun butt. I held my head close to the gun, and he held the gun with his magic, so the hit wasn't strong. I shrugged it off and rushed to plunge the knife in his chest. Discarding his shotgun, he lowered his head, pointed his horn at me.

Fucking unicorns and their horns

More precisely at my neck, and started running at me, hoping I'd do the same. But seeing that i stopped, and started backing up to not get impaled in that horn.

He was faster, but I managed to get out of his way to the right. Having his head down, he didn't see it until it was too late. When he was almost at the room's back wall where the window was, I took a swing with my head, and stabbed him in the left side of his chest. But I didn't end on one. I quickly took the knife out, and stabbed again, and again. He turned his head towards me and shot a burst of magic out of his horn, I ducked away under him, and with a great difficulty, lifted the rear half of his body. He was kicking and I heard him trying to use his magic on something, but I wasn't giving him time for that. I started pushing him towards the window. He clasped his front legs against it, I managed to reach his right font leg with my knife, after I stabbed it a few times, the leg let go of the window, his front fell on the floor, and with him shouting insults, I threw his rump out through the closed window. It dragged the front of his body, and while calling me a motherfucker, he fell out the window. A second after, I heard him hit the ground.

I leaned out of the window. One floor is not that high, and I couldn't go out there to finish him off. Somepony would stop me, maybe even kill me since I'm the one that looks like a raider.

Maybe I got lucky and he fell on his head.

I turned around towards the room and saw Flame Bash lying quietly and bleeding on the right hoof side of the room, close to Silver Shine who looked like he was in slightly better condition because he watched me carefully. Huh, they haven't bled out yet.

"Raider"-- Silver Shine started saying something.

I ignored that for now, and looked at Bear Hearts on the right, lying on the floor next to his bed and armour. His breathing was shallow, and his pool of blood was larger than the rest's.

Oh no. Not him.

Fueled by stress and adrenaline, I jumped at his bags as fast as I could. He's got to have some healing potions on him! I dug through the bag, looking for the purple liquid filled bottles while my hooves shook from the stress.

And found two!

I grabbed them in my mouth and rushed to Bear Hearts. I placed them on the floor, opened one quickly, almost spilling it on the floor, opened his mouth with my hoof, and poured half of the contents of the bottle in, and the other half onto his blood-red fur. The blood quickly washed away, leaving his dark brown coat clean and closing his wounds before my eyes.

His breathing quickly deepened and slowed.

I took a deep breath almost in sync with him.

Okay. That's good. That's good. Now for the rest of them. I relaxed.

Still panting, I grabbed the other healing potion, brought it to Silver Shine. His eyes were tired, but still open. He looked at me harshly as I opened the bottle slowly this time, and poured a drop into Flame Bash's mouth. To make sure he stays with us a bit longer.

"Raider," He said quietly, in a demanding tone.

That's as close to breaking free as I can get.

If there is some higher power. Please let this work, and I swear I won't hurt anypony ever again… Without a proper reason.

I brought my face close to Silver Shine's "Tell me how to take these things off me," I tapped the collars with my hoof, " "And I'll help you and your friend."

"No." He responded without thinking.

Fuck you! "Listen!" I bursted, but quickly calmed my tone, "Are you really going to let your friend die just to fuck me over?"

"Don't…" Flame Bash grunted

Shut the fuck up!

Silver shine glanced at the bleeding orange pony next to him, and then back at me.

"We won't let… A raider free to" he took coughed blood, " to kill again."

A wave of anger was building inside me. Why must they be so fucking stubborn!?

"I!... I had a chance for that just now! " i growled and brought my angry face closer, almost whispering in his ear, so that nopony would hear what I was going to say "Please. I promise I won't go back to raiding. Just… just let me go."

He looked at Flame Bash, and at me again. "Give us the potion, and you can be sure I won't forget that. But we're not letting you go."

Why! The fuck! Not!?

With an explosion of anger, I growled and hit him on the face with my hoof, and got back up with the potion.

"Then lay there and bleed out!" I erupted.

"You won't find the remotes! And nopony is going to help a raider get the collars off!" Silver Shine tried to reason with me in a weak and tired voice.

I don't fucking care.

I grabbed Scythe's shotgun that lay on the floor in my hoof, sat on the bed across the room with it, and the potion, and just stared at both of them.

They are willing to sacrifice themselves just to fuck me over! In-fucking-credible! And ponies call them heroes!

I wonder which one is going to bleed out first…

Then my ears twitched as I heard somepony moving on my right. I looked there, and saw Bear Hearts getting up.

Fuck.

He got up, his eyes screwed into his companions. Then he looked at me, and with a quick step approached me. I held the gun in both of my forehooves, and pointed it at him.

He slowed down. And with a careful pose and expression, he glanced at the potion lying on the bed next to me, and then at me again.

We stood like that for a moment. Bear Hearts probably wondering if he had to kill me in order to save his friends, and I, out of pure anger just not wanting him to help them.

He was getting awfully close. I noticed him teansing up his muscles, preparing to strike me.

Ah fuck! Whatever. They die, I'm probably just as dead too.

I pointed the gun away from Bear Hearts, letting him know he can take the potion.

He exhaled, and slowly grabbed the potion in his hoof, still watching me carefully.

I looked away from him. That made him relax, he took the potion, and quickly brought it to his friends. As he did, i heard hoofsteps rushing up the floor.

Scythe's coming again.

I took cover behind the bed i was sitting on, and pointed the gun at the entrance.

After few seeconds, i saw a group of ponies with guns, the gate guards and the mayor climb to the top of the stairs. When they saw me, tbey shouted to take cover, and instantly fell back down the wooden stairs, only their guns sticking out.

"Don't shoot!" I shouted at them, "I didn't do it!"

They whispered something to each other. "Put your gun away and let us see for ourselves raider!" The mayor replied after a moment.

"So you can shoot me without a problem? Sure, right fucking on it!" I replied.

Then I heard quick hoofsteps behind me. There was an orange flash, something hit me in tbe face. Ilost focus on anything, and fell on my side on the floor, then I felt something heavy press onto me, and before the shock could pass, i felt a barrage of hoof punches on my face.

***

Fucking ow.

My face hurt all over. My cheeks and brows were swollen, the chain got back on, and we were on our way again. Going to some other city.

That was after Flame Bash beat the shit out of me, and then finished my little 'surgery' by mercilessly ripping the bullet out of my shoulder and the birdshot pellets from Scythes shotgun from my side with his horn magic, which opened all the wounds even more.

Turns out he using the tweezers before was him at least trying to be gentle.

And I was sure they chained me again just as some form of punishment.

I limped quickly, saving my bandaged leg, but trying to stay in pace with them all so the collar wouldn't pull on my burned neck. They all walked just fine after drinking a healing potion each.

We walked next to rusted train tracks. The tracks themselves were completely red and brown from rust. The concrete blocks connecting the rails that emerged from the stones with which the tracks were gave a stable foothold, but imposed annoyingly short steps, so we all walked next to the tracks, on the yellowish grass.

Eventually everything got dark. With the sun gone, it was starting to get chilly, so they decided to start looking for a place to spend the night in.

They found a small railway station, a small red brick building with just a ticket booth, and eight three pony benches bolted to a concrete floor, four against every wall on the two sides of the ticket booth that stood in the centre of the station. Without a word, Bear Hearts chained to one of the benches in the corner on one side of the station, while Silver Shine barricaded every window and door of the station, and the rest of my captors tried to work out a fire on the other side.

Great. I was so hungry I thought I could pass out any moment, thirsty, and now they are gonna make me sleep on a cold concrete.

I'm not going to just quietly sit here like this. I've got to somehow get myself some food.

"I'm fucking hungry!" I shouted at them across the station.

"Good! I hope you die of hunger!" Flame Bash replied quickly, and went back to starting the fire with Bear Hearts.

"I should have gutted you and then killed Scythe!" I shouted back as I stood up

"You should have! Then they would have killed you and the Wasteland would be a better place!"

"Don't fucking act as if–"

"Shut the fuck u–" he interrupted me, but I didn't stop

"--You wouldn't happily finish me off if I was the one bleeding out on the floor!" We shouted at each other at the same time.

We both finished. I wasn't sure if he understood what I shouted to him

"Shut up both of you!" Silver shine shouted to us. " Or you will still bring something to us with that noise! Shout at each other during the day!"

"Good! I hope whatever I bring will tear you all to shreds!" I paused for a moment, "Give me something to eat!"

Silver shine stopped pushing a wardrobe to a window, and with a fast step approached me. I raised my head and took a firm pose to show I wasn't afraid. "Shut your mouth or I will bake your neck until it's black." He croaked through his teeth.

It was the first time I saw him actually angry.

"If you'd just let me go then, you wouldn't have me as your problem!" I shouted again

He levitated a pistol out lf a holster he had around his chest, raised it, and put it to the top of my head. "Shut. Up. Last warning."

I just looked angrily in his equally infuriated eyes for a long moment. "Why didn't you just let me go?" I growled

"I am not going to just let a raider roam free, because he had a change of heart." He growled back.

"Why not!" I shouted because of frustration that built inside me.

I felt something hit me on the top of my head so hard that my forelegs collapsed. I fell to the floor, hitting it first with my jaw and then with my stomach, biting my tongue very painfully in the process.

"You don't murder and rape one day, and then the next just say you won't do it anymore. You must pay for what you did."

So that's what it's all about

I do not!

I didn't respond, my head, tongue and jaw hurt too much from the fall, so Silver Shine walked away, and git back to barricading the station.

After the pain dimmed out a bit, I raised my head from the floor, "So you and your asshole friends will keep me as your punching bag until you deem it's enough?!" I shouted at him. He didn't respond. "You motherfucker! I'm not going to be your dog!" I suddenly felt a searing pain explode in my neck, which made me start thrashing and screaming on the floor.

Almost instantly Bear hearts stood from where the fire slowly started lighting the station "Stop it Silver!" He shouted, and the shock collar stopped.

Motherfuckers! Fucking cock sucking sons of whores!

I thought as I lied on the cold floor. I hate them. I hate them so much. If there is a higher power in the wasteland. Fuck you! I will kill them the second I have the chance!

***

After an hour or so, the fire they made was decent sized. Silver Shine barricaded all entrances and holes in the walls, and now all of them were sitting near the fire together. a strong smell of something delicious hit my nose. That alone made me start drooling without even knowing what they were cooking there. I got so hungry, I thought I was going to lass out any moment. My stomach was starting to hurt, spreading an annoying emptiness across my body.

Then I saw Bear Hearts get up, and start going in my direction with two bowls of something hot and steamy on his hoof. I could already imagine it was going to be good. I licked my face and locked my unconsciously wide open eyes on the bowls.

He saw my i could eat whatever was inside together with the bowl' gaze, and to my suprise, the big brown pony sat on the floor next to me and slid one of the bowls in front of my hooves.

I instantly got to eating whatever was inside. Some kind of colourful vegetable mix, salty and delicious. Exackly what I needed right now. I emptied the bowl in a flash, and knew I could fit one or two more. I saw him holding the second bowl near to him.

I straightened up and looked up at bear hea–

At his neck, he was just that tall when sitting next to me. I looked further up at his face.

"Give me that."

He pushed the second bowl to me, I took the bowl in my forehooves, and brought it to my mouth. It was the same thing that was in the first bowl, but worse. Or I just wasn't that hungry anymore.

"Who was the pony at the hotel?" He asked while I was finishing.

"Scythe, he was our unofficial leader. Until you fucked up the clan." I explained while licking the bowl clean.

"Do you have any idea what he's going to do now?"

That made me freeze with my tounge out in the bowl" Hhat? He fucking survived?"

Bear Hearts nodded positively with an understanding look.

Fuck

"No. He'll want to kill me, and you all probably too. That's all." I got back to licking the bowl.

He muttered in response.

Then to my shock, he put his heavy hoof on my shoulder. I froze with my nose in the bowl again, not knowing how I was supposed to react. I just looked at him out of the corner of my eye to see what the fuck was he trying to do.

He noticed how I stiffened "Calm down," he patted my shoulder, "Thanks… For what you did for me. You really surprised me." He said sincerely, and… proudly?

"... Cool" I said shortly. I felt awkward and didn't know what to do, but…

This feels pleasant. I like it. I like the hoof on my back, and him being nice.

I relaxed, and even smiled lightly.

"Silver and Flame… they are not like what you think. They…"--

"Do you agree with them?" I asked him suspiciously

His soft face took a troubled look.

"The- no. You all think they're some kind of fucking Wasteland heroes that deliver justice."

"Raider. I don't agree with them completely, but"--

"I just had the chance to run away and go back to raiding! How is that not enough!?"

"Raider."--

"Fuck you! You know nothing about me! Who do you think you all are?!"

He took his hoof off me, which I felt was a loss for some reason. "Be nice, that's the only thing that can help you. Please." He said sincerely. "I'll get you a blanket or something," he finished, matter of factly.

"I never chose this life!" I shouted at him as he got up.

"It… It doesn't change what you did." He said with doubt, as if half believing what he said himself, turned around, and went off towards the fire.

I should have left fucking them all to bleed out!

***

I hate autumn. I opened my eyes and felt the cold. I threw the blanket off me and rolled of the bench that i slept through the night on,

I hate autumn. As soon as I opened my eyes, and the sweet Insensitivity of sleep left my body, I felt the cold. It penetrated the blanket I was tightly wrapped into and my skin effortlessly. A mild inconvenience, but annoying enough that I couldn't fall back into the comfort of numbness that sleep would bring. No matter how much I tried to ignore it and force my eyes shut, my body began to involuntarily shake, trying to combat the coolness while shaking the last bits of tiredness off me.

With an annoyed growl, I unwound the blanket and with my chain clanking loudly, I rolled off the bench that the other end of my chain was attached to. While the chain and the collars cooperated together to restrict my head movements as much as possible, making most of my sleeping positions uncomfortable as fuck the bench proved itself as an alright place to sleep. Definitely better than the concrete floor it was bolted to.

I stretched like dogs do, raising my rear up and leaning backwards until I touched the ground with my belly. I savored the pleasant feeling of muscles stretching after the nighttime stagnation, until it was interrupted by all my wounds reminding me of themselves all at once. My neck burned under one of the collars, my left shoulder and side emanated a sharp pain in various places, and my swollen face and tongue hurt if I moved them too much.

All in all, not much has changed since the clan

Silver cunt and friends probably drank themselves a potion or two to help their wounds. I looked towards them, lying wrapped in blankets similar to mine on the far end of the station around the bonfire. The fire was dying down, they must have it not much warmer than I do. Do they plan to go through winter like this? You can't do that with just fire and blankets. We all need proper winter clothes to not freeze.

Eh, Nevermind that. They can freeze for as long as I care.

With the clanking of my chain I sat on the bench, pulled the blanket over me and looked at them again.

They plan to drag me with themselves until they decide I served my punishment. What can I do about that? They'll rather die than let me go.

Try to escape again? How? With the collars and shit no ideas came to mind. Killing them wasn't an option either. They must take the collars if me themselves, otherwise I'll never take that shit off.

No matter how much I didn't want to, every way I thought of led me to one inevitable conclusion.

I'll have to… be their good dog.

Fuck.

Well, I can be good, but i don’t have to be pleasant.

I took a deep breath, and…” I’m hungry assholes!”