Author's Note

I encourage you to tell me what you think in the comments so I can get better! Thanks!

Luna you bitch!

I'll quickly run up, give a healing potion to these fuckers, pull them off the footbridge, and fuck off so they don't get a chance to kill me.

Simple plan.

Just don't get shot in the process and it'll be perfect.

***

When I was still several dozen metres from the place where everyone was lying, bullets were already whizzing past me. I was slaloming, randomly slowing down, changing direction and dodging sideways like a drunkard, but in spite of this, the dickhead who was shooting at me managed to hit me three times. Shallow wounds on the shoulder and buttocks, nothing more than a slightly painful reminder to keep moving, but monstrously annoying. So much so that each time I felt pain in a new spot on my body,, I shouted insults at full volume while speeding up even more. If anyone was standing by, they would probably find it a comical sight.

I managed to run to where they were lying, just as I had left them a moment ago. Except Bear Hearts had thrown unconscious Flame Bash off the footbridge to provide him with at least some cover and was in the process of crawling to Silver Shine himself.

Then our eyes met, he gave me a look so sharp, and full of hate that I think could have killed me with his eyes if I got too close, and watched me carefully without a word. I jumped into the ditch behind Silver Shine, who laid on his back with a badly bruised face and was looking at me with a blank stare.

All right, then, it looks like I'm on my own.

Silver Shine had some kind of bag next to him, it was lying in the mud next to him, I grabbed the zipper with my mouth and started pulling quickly and chaotically.

Grenades.

"Where are the healing potions!" I shouted to Bear Hearts

He only looked at me for a second. But that hateful look I knew exactly. It promised revenge, I could already imagine what would happen the second I turned my guard down around him.

“I want to fucking help you!” I shouted, but i saw no reaction. "I'm So–... It was a mistake!" I corrected.

"In my saddlebags." Bear Hearts replied with a full of unmasked hatred growl.

Good, I thought he lost his mind or something. Their chaces of survival would be slim without me.

Actually, maybe they’d manage without me…

Eh, whatever.

I looked at them, strapped to the rear of the brown pony twice my size that definitely wanted to kill me, who at the same time was lying on the footbridge in the open with a sniper just waiting for me to poke my head out.

Yeah. Fucking easy-peasy.

Lying on my stomach in the mud, I opened Silver Shine’s bag with my hooves and started to search it thoroughly.

Grenades round grenades, cylindrical grenades, orange grenades, grey grenades, you name it, but no fucking potions!

Suddenly an idea popped into my head.

Since he has so many of these grenades here, maybe he has some smoke ones?

I need to check on the wind first.

I leaned out from behind the walkway to check if there's a wind in any direction, Then I heard a swish, and felt a searing pain, like a hammer hit me a hundred times, it spread all over on the inside of my front leg paralysing me in agony. I dropped to the ground and started screaming for a while, and after the pain eased a bit, while still lying on my back in the mud, I kept cursing that motherfucker that shot me.

Fuck, fuck fuuuck! I am not dong that again!

Once I came to myself again after a while, and masked my screams as short bursts of a sour laughter, I started pulling out grenades randomly with my mouth, snatching the pin to throw, repeatedly until I got a smoke one. Surely, one of these would be smoke!

Explosion after explosion left me nearly deaf, but it had also torn the footbridge ahead of us into a fiery mess of splinters and broken wooden beams. Luckily a few of the grenades happened to be the right ones, and after a moment later, smoke kicked up into the air concealing us.

I just hoped Bear Hearts wasn't dead by now.

Holding my front right leg close to my chest to spare it, I hobbled over to Bear Hearts' pouches, and pulled out three healing potions.

Well fuck it would be too easy for me if there were four wouldn’t it?

I gave one to Bear Hearts, with a sigh I put the second one into the mouth of a barely panting Flame Bash, and spilled the third one on the corner of Silver Shine and put the rest in my mouth just like Flame Bash.

Now quickly fuck off before they recover.

I stepped onto the footbridge, and, fighting the pain that was pounding all over my forearm as if somepony was constantly hitting me there with a hammer, I began to swing with one hoof raised, leaving a trail of blood droplets that trickled down my completely caked in mud fur.

"You think you're just going to walk away like that raider!" I heard a shout behind me

I stopped clumsily, and looked behind me. Bear Hearts stood up, and slowly started limping towards me.

Fucking hell!

A shudder ran through me, and I found a new source of strength within me that helped me push past the pain in both my front legs and rump. This new strength was called: If he gets me he'll fucking tear me to pieces!

"Leave me and go help your friends, you idiot!" I shouted as I felt a surge of pain from the wound in my ‘healthier’ leg almost lost balance.

But he didn't stop, just slowly caught up with me metre by metre, in what could be compared to a race between two snails.

"You think some potion is going to fix what you did Silver Shine! Do you know what it's like for a unicorn to lose a horn! It will kill you, you understand!"

"It's your fault! Not mine! You gave me no choice!" I shouted behind me accusingly.

"You justify everything to yourself like that? Even how you gutted that mare when we first met! You are an animal! And you should be slaughtered like a rabid dog!"

And slowly, step by step, Bear Hearts was coming towards me, and towards the fulfilment of his threat.When he was a pony's distance from me, he darted in, and grabbed me by the hind leg.

"Get off me!" I shouted, and kicked him with my other hind leg in the muzzle, and fell on the hard boards myself. He held onto my rear hoof and began dragging me towards him. Lying on my stomach I looked back and began frantically kicking him in the muzzle again. After a couple kicks, I heard a crack, and with a loud groan, he finally let go. I lifted myself up as fast as I could, which with only three available hooves proved to be quite a challenge, and started limping further down the footbridge as fast as I could.

"When you kill another pony, or break a unicorn's horn, will you also say you had no choice ?!" he shouted from behind, holding himself by his bleeding nose.

"Fuck off!" I shouted, and sped up, hoping Bear Hearts would come to his fucking senses, and focus on helping his friends.

***
And I walked like that for a while, along the footbridge until the swamp was over. When I felt solid ground under my feet, I chose a random direction, and went there without thinking much in case they wanted to chase me.

And so I walked. And walked, and walked, my coat caked in dried mud and blood which dripped on the ground constantly. The forest was becoming more and more lively, I felt the pleasant smell of the decomposing orange and yellow leaves under my hooves that crunched with my every wobbly step.

I continued to limp on three legs until it got dark. It seemd that on this night the pegasi could not keep the cloud curtain tight, because every now and then the moon would emerge, illuminating the surroundings with relatively bright bluish rays.

Then, I heard the sound of water.

A stream? A river?.

It was only now that I felt how thirsty I had begun to feel, the stinging in my dry throat had become pronounced, the burning under the last collar left on my neck, the one to which the chain could be attached was making itself known, and the mud with which I was covered was scratching and irritating me almost all over my body.

I quickened my pace, passing the trees and found the stream. It flowed in a naturally carved canal. Too steep to go down without falling into the water painfully, and to back up without problem. So I walked along it, hoping to find a place with a gentler descent.

Eventually I found one, and while I was limping along on three legs with a quick and clumsy step, I suddenly heard a snap by my side.

"Stop" A rough voice demanded from the darkness.

Instinctively I stopped, searching with my eyes for whoever had said it, and saw the black outline of a pony wearing a large hat between the trees to my right. It was so dark I could barely see him.

Don’t notice my ears, don't notice my ears! – I thought while my heart raced.

I stood frozen with my eyes closed for a short moment.

He didn’t shoot me right away!

So he can’t see them.

Oh please Luna if you hear me, keep the moon behind the fucking clouds.

"Fuck off" I said in a tired and exasperated voice, and continued limping with my right front leg dangling, descending into the stream.

Suddenly there was a flash.

A deafening bang followed. the ground in front of me trembled, and in an instinctive attempt to avoid being shot I jumped back, slipped on a stone at the edge of the ditch and fell on my side.

"Don't move me or the next shot will turn your head into cheese."

"Ow you selfish fucking motherfucker!" I shouted slowly picking myself up. He didn't react to that, he must have seen I was hurt.

"Shut up! What are you looking for here?"

"None of your fucking business."

"I think it is my business."

Fucking kill him. I'm going to kill him and he won't be so brash.

Of course, I won't, but the urge is still there.

"I fucking want water, what, are you fucking blind!?"

"You're running away from someone" He stated firmly, "What have you done…?" He added with suspicio.

Oh you just have to fucking know everything don’t you? Stick your nose somewhere else!

"I fucked your mother!” I snarled, “ I want a drink of water, wash up and fuck off!"

He stood still for a moment, but after a moment he sighed, "Alright. Go. Wash up, and fuck off."

I snarled again, nodded my head in anger, and started to slowly hobble up towards the stream. Only now did I notice that the pony that was aiming at me, had a cart parked in between trees around the gentle descent towards the stream. I passed a quickly extinguished campfire standing by the stream.

"You’re badly injured," he said standing on the edge of the ditch.

I turned my head to him, "Oh, thank you Mr Perceptive." I said with a strong note of mockery, and bent down to take a drink.

He watched me carefully the whole time.

"Now wash and fuck off." he ordered.

His bossy tone irritated me terribly. Fuck how I'd like to hit him over the head with some kind of stone.

But Yeah, I'll do just that. I need to wash quickly and fuck off before another crack in the clouds opens and he sees my ears!

I washed myself, and watched the mud and blood slowly dissolve in water, allowing my green-yellow fur to finally regain its colour as I breathed a sigh of relief. Feeling the sensation of the cold water collide with the pain and the feeling of the heat of my wounds on my leg, shoulders and rump brought a blissful moment of something that you could say resembled pleasure.

Despite this hopeless situation, I didn’t want to get out that quickly. This was my first true relief in a long time! I looked down at my water-soaked hooves with a slight smile, and breathed in deeply. Moments later, I lay down in the stream, leaving only my head above the surface. The icy water, although not pleasant, eased the pain, and I could finally feel the tension coming off me.

"Okay, get out." I heard the hat pony’s raspy voice ruin my one moment of rest.

"Fuck off." I said flatly, I don’t like when somepony gives me orders.

"Get out!" he growled.

I’ll teach you a fucking lesson you cocksucker.

Hearing that he was losing patience, which I assumed I had stretched long enough, I slowly started to rise, but while coming out of the water, I dug through the bottom of the stream, and grabbed a rock in my badly wounded leg. I’m gonna beat the shit out of him, and then I’ll fuck off because I decided to, not because some mother fucker tells me to.

It would be painful to hold it, but I could hold it near my chest while making it look like I'm just saving my wounded leg.

On three legs, with a groan caused by the pain holding the rock in a wounded leg caused, I stepped out of the stream, and stood on the bank.

At that moment the moon emerged from a window of clouds, and lit up the spot where we stood. I looked at my injured leg, and cursed to myself.

Luna you bi-- Oh, so that’s why it hurt so much.

I saw my bone. Very clearly. The bullet must have hit it and torn off a piece of flesh.

"Raider." Said the pony in the hat with shock.

I involuntarily smiled. Arousing horror was always nice, regardless of the shityness of the situation.

"Shit." I mumbled to myself.

"There's no such thing as an ex-raider! Where are your mates!" He shouted at me in something that I assumed was a momentary panic.

I couldn’t let him shoot me because of that!

"Fuck knows! I left them!" I shouted accusingly.

The pony in the hat came close enough to me that his shotgun, which I could now see was perched on a combat saddle, was a hoof's distance from my face. "Tell the truth or I'll blow your psychotic head off!" He said while leaning forward, as if preparing to take a shot at any moment.

I clenched my sharp teeth, and felt pain surge in my hurt leg from squeezing the stone in it.

The easiest thing to do now would be to throw myself at his neck! Somehow… At least that’s the only thing he doesn’t expect. I think…

"Listen you fuck!" said I angrily, but mastered my tone, "Calm down or this will end badly for y-- both of us!" I finished calmly, with a hint of request.

The pony hat took two steps away from me.

"Prove it." he growled

In response, shaking from the adrenaline, and from the cold of the stream, I released the stone from my injured leg. "All I can do."

He looked at me for a moment, and finally raised the shotgun to the air. "Boy, you have a lot of explaining to do.

***
"A new life with a clean slate?" he looked at me in disbelief

"Do you have a problem with that?" I asked while pushing a cloth hoof carrier he made for me under the last collar so the coarse metal wouldn’t rub me on the neck that much.

"Boy, I don't care in the slightest," he said waving his hoof, then he bent down to the kettle over the fire and pulled a wet piece of cloth from the boiling water. "You won't make it."

I snarled, "Because what, you think I can't control myself?"

"I fucking met you half an hour ago, I have no fucking idea if you have self-control issues! But I can see you don't feel any remorse, or even pretend to."

"Give me that band-aid and shut the fuck up okay?"

He smirked, "fuck you".

"Hey! What am I supposed to feel remorse for? I have nothing to feel guilty about."

"That's exactly why you won't make it. Shit, just listening to this makes me feel like shooting you in the face, and I don't fucking care one bit! So if you want to live even a little among the regular ponies, keep your mouth shut."

"Are you going to give me the bandwagon or not?"

"Ask. Politely."

"I'm not going to fucking ask you, give me the cloth! You said you would!"

He smirked again, and handed me a wet piece of cloth with his hoof. i grabbed it in my teeth, and holding the end of it with my healthy leg, slowly wrapped it around my injured right leg.

"What are you smiling about?" said I, holding the bandage with my teeth

"Of you." Before I had time to reply anything, he stood up and showed some direction with his hoof, "There is the nearest village there, if you learn manners, someone there will probably help you. Go."

I looked at him puzzled

“i'm not driving into the fucking city with a raider, what do you think? I sell shit for a living, and you'll scare off my customers! Go there, now or tomorrow, or don’t, I don't give a shit, but definitely not with me."

I slowly rose up on my three hooves, “Cocksucker,”

“Well fuck you too,” he replied flatly, to which i turned tu the direction he pointed at, and slowly limped in that direction

“Put the fucking hoof in the– Wait! Wait!” He got up quickly, ran up to me, “Too fucking proud to ask for help,” he said as he put my hurt hoof into a carrier he mdae earlier out of cloth, “Now fuck off.”

***
I was walking through the woods in the direction indicated by the asshole in the hat, you know I'm not going to ask! Asking is pathetic! If it's been a long time since you've had your face bashed in, all you had to do in the clan was ask for something and you were guaranteed to be persecuted! Even your mother sometimes joined in,

I smiled slightly

that bitch, heh

The wounded leg, the scrapes on the shoulders and the buttocks hurt, more and more. Something must have been wrong with that water. Fuck I'm so lucky. But I didn't stop, I suspected if I did it would only get worse with time. I neede a place to rest. Somewhere where I wouldn’t freeze, or get eaten by radwolves.

The pain is only in your head. It doesn't really hurt that much. Cut it off.

I kept repeating it to myself, and to some extent it worked. I was walking at the pace of a healthy pony, and it hurt only to the point of making me groan and sweat.

So I walked, and I walked through the woods, until I saw a light, I got closer, a boarded up window, the pain was increasing, I got close. Relief, so close, I just need to get in there. Just a few painful steps away.

I went through a hole in a ruined fence, and Limped closer to the ruined two storey cubic house surrounded by it. The calming silence and the concert of grasshoppers all around me was broken by the loud banging of my hoof on the door.

I leaned on a wall next to the door and banged again while breathing heavily. My legs felt like jelly, ready to give in at any moment. Then I heard hoofsteps, hard and fast clanking against a floor, then the door opened, and a face of an older, but sweet looking mare stuck out of a pitch black inside of the house.

“Who is that?” She asked, looking somewhere into the woods in front of the house.

“I need a– Place to– Sleep.” I gasped, every word felt heavy, speaking felt like spitting heavy iron blocks out of my lungs. What the fuck was happening to me? Was it something with that water? Did that cocksucker in a hut poison me with something?

As soon as she heard me, she turned her head in my direction, albeit not looking straight at me.

She’s blind. Oh thank the wasteland!

“I..” She let out a series of grunts, series of wavering and indecisiveness,

“Listen. If you won’t–” Fuck.

Fine, let's give it a try. I hope that cocksucker in a hat wasn’t just trying to get rid of me.

“P…” Ugh, “Please.” The word felt like a huge, heavy metal ball that was painfully making its way through my throat, while I tried to make it sound as not-pathetic as it was possible.

She looked at me, her face showing that she clearly sensed the difficulty I had with talking at this state.

And then, a sudden shirek, a screech of a foal inside the house stuck my ears like needles.

Whatever made that sound– I already hate it– Even thinking was coming with a difficulty now.

“A Raider!” shouted in a high pitch foalish voice followed.