Limbo

by EndlessPossibilities58

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Sad, Original Character, Spike, Science Fiction, Tragedy
Length: 6048

Spike didn't ask to be saved, not like this.

Spike didn't ask to be saved, not like this.

Written as an entry for the Cyberpunk Equestria Contest.

Cover Art provided by the wonderful kleia.

06/01/23 - 06/02/23: Featured.

Published 2023-06-01 12:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2023-06-01 12:40:01 UTC

Limbo

Spike sat slumped over a dingy bar counter, feeling sluggish as a hopeless feeling consumed him. How many times had he done this? He'd lost track at this point, everything blurring together.

He looked towards the pint of ale he held in his metallic claws, its frothy contents calling to him, despite knowing full well the effect it would have on him - or rather the lack of an effect. He had come here hoping to get drunk, but his cybernetic body did an outstanding job of filtering out the toxins, to his dismay.

He didn't know why he kept on doing this... okay, that wasn't true, he knew exactly why he kept doing this. He just wanted to feel something, to be able to invoke a reaction that told him he was still a living being. He looked down at his mechanical arm, covered in chromium scales. He didn't used to drink, not when he still had a real body, maybe he should have, because at least then he would know what it felt like to get drunk.

Now, all he felt was... nothing.

As he sat there, the bar attendant approached his position. He was cybernetically enhanced, with an extra set of robotic limbs along his spine to help him tend the bar. "Is there anything else I can get you, another pint maybe?" he asked gruffly, noting how Spike's glass was more than half gone.

It took a few moments for the drake to respond, but once he did, he promptly shook his head.

"Whatever," the attendant replied, barely paying Spike any mind.

With a mechanical sigh, he dropped down to his feet and started shambling away from the counter. His gaze was glassy, not really focusing on anything as he moved through the bar; everything around him was a blur, from the countless patrons who seemed to come and go - many of them having cybernetic implants- to all the flashing lights advertising all sorts of things and products, to the video screens that served as windows, their pictures of the outside provided via a camera feed.

Approaching the door to the bar, it slid open with a hiss, allowing him to pass through. Leaving the bar behind, he stepped out into one of the lower levels of Neo-Ponyville. Down here, it was pretty much just a glorified back alley, with seedy characters, scraps of trash often littering the streets, and foul aromas lingering in the air.

He shuffled along with a meandering gait, feeling lost as he moved without any real sense of direction. The lights above flickered on and off where he was, giving a clear indication they had to be replaced. He stepped over a discarded candy wrapper, of a brand that it just happened was being advertised on one of the many holographic billboards in the area.

As he moved through the lower lever, he came upon what looked to be two ponies engaging in a black arms trade behind a dumpster; down here, shady characters would deal in illegal cybernetic mods and components for big bits. Feeling it wise to make himself scarce, he picked up his pace as he quickly left that scene behind him.

Eager to ascend to the upper levels of the city, he approached a nearby elevator. Pressing the button, he waited a few moments for the lift to show up. Signaling its arrival with a beep, he stepped through the sliding doors, immediately finding the interior to be far cleaner than the rest of the level.

Pressing the button for the top level, he stood back as the elevator started rising, left to do nothing but stew in his own lousy thoughts as he waited. As the lift continued up, his distant gaze was torn away from the floor when his system suddenly began picking up a call. Accepting the call, he was greeted with the ghostly apparition of a friendly lavender alicorn he knew all too well.

"Hey Twilight," Spike said, keeping his tone even.

"Hello Spike, I'm just checking in to make sure you're on your way to your check-up, I'm not going to have you miss it again like last time. You "are" on your way there, right?" she said again, a scolding tone in her voice that told him he better do as she wanted.

The drake sighed, a mechanical warble in his voice as he spoke. "Yes, Twilight, I'm on my way," he said distantly.

Upon hearing the tone he spoke with, the expression on the face of the transparent alicorn softened. "Spike... is everything... okay? she asked him delicately."It's just, I feel like you've been becoming more and more distant lately. I know things haven't been the same since... The accident... But, neither I nor any of the girls have seen much of you recently, and we're starting to get worried, are you feeling alright?"

"I'm fine Twilight," he told his caretaker, trying to ease her thoughts. "Everything's fine."

Twilight didn't look entirely convinced, but she accepted his answer nonetheless. "Okay, if you say so... but... if you ever feel like you want to talk, I'll always be here for you, okay?"

Spike nodded, a soft smile creeping across his artificial lips. "Okay, Twilight, thanks."

"Take care, Spike," Twilight said before she cut the call, the little image of her vanishing from his sight.

Now once again alone with just his own thoughts, Spike went back to waiting quietly as the elevator ascended. Announcing his arrival with a ding, the dragon stepped free of the small box that had housed him for the last couple of minutes, finding himself on the topmost level of Neo-Ponyville.

He had only been here a scant moment, and already things were so much different than the environment he just left. Everything up here was sparkling and pristine, a stark contrast to the lower lever. There were more ponies up here than down below, and they were livelier too. And instead of little light bulbs, the top level was lit by daylight, Celestia's sun casting its warmth down upon them - which he could feel thanks to the thermal sensors he had installed.

The elevator had let him out onto a walkway suspended high in the air, a railing separating pedestrians from a highway of sky-bound vehicles. Promptly joining the crowds, he began to walk along with everyone else, blending in with all the other bodies.

As he moved down the path, his attention was drawn to the skyway as a train-like vehicle moved along a track, floating above it via magnetic propulsion. It was known as a monorail, and Spike didn't have the best relationship with them anymore, considering they were the reason he was now mostly machine. Ever since his accident, he had tried to avoid the monorails whenever possible, only using them when he absolutely had to - like, right now, for instance.

He'd told Twilight he was on his way to his check-up when she called, but the truth was he completely forgot. Now, the only way to make his appointment on time and avoid his caretaker's wrath was to take the monorail - even if it made him feel uncomfortable.

Arriving at the monorail station, he found it to be teeming with ponies looking for a ride, just as he was. Coming up to one of the kiosks, he stepped into line with all the other monorail goers to buy his ticket.

As he waited patiently like everyone else, it wasn't hard to notice the stares from ponies around him, their eyes boring into his plating. He was used to this kind of attention from others, used to the ways they would look at him when he passed them on the street. He knew they weren't trying to be rude, and he could understand why he garnered so much attention; while cybernetics were fairly common in this day and age, seeing someone with a fully cybernetic body was a rare sight indeed, and was bound to draw some eyes.

Ignoring the stares, he stepped up once it was his turn and purchased his ticket.

Moving with the other would-be passengers, he made his way toward where he would board his ride. Now that he was closer to the monorail, he was able to see it in greater detail than he had from the walkway. It was a long tubular device, with a chromatic sheen to it that made it sparkle. The front and back of the vehicle were shaped like cones, which helped to reduce wind resistance.

Swallowing the lump in his throat, he got on the monorail alongside everyone else.

The inside of the car was just as pristine as the outside, with a spotless look that suggested it was cleaned constantly. The inside of the monorail was packed with seats, each one with an aesthetic that mirrored that of the rest of the vehicle.

Sitting down at the back, he waited as everypony else boarded and took their own seats. Once all the passengers were on, and safely in place, there was a sharp lurch as the monorail started moving. Spike felt his fists tighten as they moved out of the station, gradually picking up speed as they moved along.

Soon, they were gliding above the streets of Neo-Ponyville, the neon-lit signs, and the futuristic architecture of the city taking center stage. It truly was a magnificent sight, capable of stealing away the breath of all who witnessed it.

As the car soared along the track, they passed countless holographic billboards and ads set up to be easily seen from where they were. One of them was advertising a brand for cybernetic modifications, trying to encourage ponies to buy their merchandise.

At seeing that billboard, Spike couldn't help but look down at his now robotic body, recalling how he came to be this way; He remembered the day of his accident perfectly, the events seared into his mind.

Twilight had sent him out to do an errand, and he had taken the monorail to do so. While the monorail was usually one of the safest ways to travel, on this occasion it was anything but. Some punk had decided to pull the emergency brakes as a joke, but in the process ended up bringing them to a stop right in the path of another monorail. It was too late for the other car to stop, and they both crashed into each other violently. All passengers in both cars were thrashed about from the impact, the monorail left spinning on the magnetic track. The vehicle was left severely damaged, while the portion Spike had been riding in was crushed badly, being the spot where the cars impacted.

Out of all those injured, he was in no doubt the worst shape: he had been mutilated, his body left impaled by countless pieces of broken metal and shards of glass - and that wasn't even taking into account all the blunt force trauma and breakage he'd been put through. He was rushed to the hospital, but his body was all but shredded, and torn apart, including the majority of his vital organs; The doctors did all they could, but in the end, all they could save was his brain.

A mechanical body was created for him, designed to be an exact replica of how he was before, down to all the base nerves and all five senses. He was given artificial versions of every organ he used to have, and as such he would still be able to do things like, breathe, eat, and drink. And thanks to his connection to the princesses, he was able to get the most top-of-the-line equipment available.

But as grateful as he was for all they did for him, a part of him wished they hadn't. A part of him wished that he died that day, because then at least he would have done so as a living being; But now, he was living life as a being made mostly of circuits and wires, not flesh and blood. Spike didn't know what he was anymore, he wasn't dead, but at the same, he didn't feel alive either, not truly. He felt stuck, trapped in a sort of limbo between life and death.

Eventually, the monorail slowed to a stop, having arrived at Spike's destination. Shelving his thoughts for the time being, the dragon disembarked alongside some of the other passengers.

Leaving the station - and the source of his situation - behind, he moved deeper into the city. After walking for a bit, he rounded a corner and found a large building resting not far in front of him. This place served as the local clinic, and he had been here many times before.

Approaching the clinic, he passed the parking lot of vehicles as he came up to the entrance. The doors opened up automatically for him, allowing him access to a clean and safe environment. Soft lights shined down from the ceiling as Spike moved through the halls, the baby blue carpets cushioning his feet with every step he took.

Coming up to the cybernetics ward of the clinic, he found himself in a cozy little waiting area filled with a few other ponies. Moving towards the receptionists, he stepped up to the desk, and rang a little bell, getting the attention of the pony behind the counter.

'Yes, can I help you?" she asked him kindly. Her mane was done up in a little bun, with a single strand of hair falling in front of her face.

Spike nodded. "I'm here for an appointment," he said, "under Spike The Dragon."

The receptionist pursed her lips. "Alright, just give me one-second sweetheart," she said as she turned towards her computer. She clacked away at the keyboard for a few moments before her eyes lit up. "Ahh, here we are... cutting it a bit close aren't we, mister dragon?" she said, casting Spike a sly look.

Spike chuckled sheepishly. "Heh, sorry about that."

She gave a soft smile in return. "Everything is all set, go ahead and take a seat while the doctor is getting ready."

Spike did as told, heading over to the array of offered chairs he took a seat. Sitting down on the soft cushion, he let himself get comfortable, absent-mindedly drumming his claws on the arm of the chair.

As he waited, he looked around at the other patrons nearby who were also here for an appointment. One that stuck out to him was a pegasus mare with a pair of cybernetic wings, but what drew his attention was the baby carrier right next to her. The little infant inside was staring at him, with huge, adorable eyes, and he couldn't resist giving a little wave. The baby moved its tiny hoof, seemingly trying to wave back. Spike smiled softly at the foal, and so did the mother too, having caught on to their interaction.

After a few minutes of waiting, the receptionist called out a name and the mare with the foal stood up, taking her child as she was guided through a door for her appointment. He waited patiently for a few more minutes still, and soon, his name was called out too.

Getting up from his seat, he walked towards the desk area and stepped through the same door the pegasus mare had. On the other side, The receptionist helped guide Spike past a series of doors, before they came up to an open one at the end of the hall.

"Right on in there," said the mare, urging him through before she went back to her post.

Doing as instructed, Spike walked through the door, finding himself in a small room with a bed lined with paper and other installments to aid in checkups.

"Ahh, hello, Spike, I'm glad to see you decided to join us this time," said the doctor. He was dressed in a lab coat and had a cutie mark of circuits and wires.

"Yeah, I'm here. Sorry about missing the last check-up, doc," Spike apologized.

The doctor smiled softly. "It's quite alright, Now why don't you get on up here and we can get this underway," the doctor patted the bed.

Climbing up onto the paper-lined mattress, Spike prepared to let the doctor examine him and run all his tests.

"So, how have you been feeling lately?" The doctor asked as he began his examination. "Everything working as it should?"

"Yeah, everything feels okay," Spike replied.

"Good," said the doctor, using a special tool to check Spike's joints and make sure his reflexes were up to par.

He ran a few more tests on Spike's nerves, senses, and a few other things. Pretty soon, the check-up seemed like it was over almost as soon as it had started, with the doctor telling him that he was running perfectly. However, Spike didn't exactly enjoy the doctor's words, as all they did was serve to remind him once again what he was, putting him in a dour mood.

Leaving the clinic, Spike felt the need for a pick-me-up, so in an effort to try and lift his spirits, he started to make his way to a special destination. Moving through town, he followed a path he had taken many times before.

Soon, he arrived at a large park. Situated near the center of the city, it was a vibrant splotch of green in an ocean of metal and concrete. Filled with trees, flowers, and grass, it was the closest source of nature around, and as such, was a popular attraction with the ponies who called this city home.

For Spike, the park had always been a happy place for him, and when he was growing up he would come here constantly. He loved the feeling of the grass between his toes. He loved to hear the wind rustle the leaves. he loved to sit under the shade of the trees. And he loved taking in the fresh smell of nature.

He walked through the park, trying to find joy in all the things he used to love so much. But try as hard as he might, nothing felt the same as it used to; Spike used to come to the park all the time, but ever since his accident, he'd found himself coming less and less.

He could see a wide open space where, he, Twilight, and the girls would sometimes have picnics. He could see the large ornate fountain, where Twilight would sometimes study, with him often falling asleep next to her.

This place and all those memories were so sweet in his mind, but it just didn't feel the same anymore. The feeling of the grass between his toes felt off. The sound of the wind felt hollow. And the scent of the nature around him felt like an imitation.

He had hoped coming here would help lift his spirits, but so far, all it had succeeded in doing was reminding him of what he'd lost.

Making his way over to the fountain, he sat down on its edge, just like he used to do with Twilight many times. Gazing into the water, he saw his face reflected in the pool; it was distorted, uneven, and hard to recognize - but whether that was due to the rippling water, or his now robotic body, he wasn't sure.

Feeling that there was nothing left for him now, he left the park, and its memories behind.

Spike once again found himself wandering through the city, wandering blindly as he had done many times before; though the environment around him was vastly different from the lower level, he still felt as lost in the darkness as ever.

He walked past countless ponies on the streets, each and every one of them knowing what it meant to feel alive. He was envious of them, because they were so lucky to not know the feeling that he now did.

As he shambled through town, he paused when the normal city sounds were disrupted, replaced by what appeared to be sirens. His curiosity piqued, he started moving toward the commotion, aiming to find out what was happening. Arriving at the scene, he discovered that the source of the activity was a building that had caught fire.

He watched as fire crews worked to quell the flames and keep it from spreading. While barricades kept pedestrians from getting too close. The fear was palpable in the air, the sounds of panicked onlookers watching as the fire ate away at the building, smoke pouring out into the streets.

"Please, you have to let me through!" Spike heard a mare cry as she tried to bust through the barricade. "My child is in there!"

But the pony on the other side held firm. "Sorry ma'am, it's not safe!"

As Spike watched the conversation between the two, he looked back toward the fire in alarm. He saw how the firefighters were struggling to put out the flames, and if there was a kid in there, they wouldn't be able to last much longer.

As the fire continued to rage, Spike knew he had to do something or this child was going to die. Due to his smaller size, he figured he would be able to slip past the barricade fairly easily.

He watched the pony behind the barricade, waiting for a moment when he could slip by. Finally, it came as they attempted to push the insistent mare back again, at which point Spike lunged forward and squeezed past him. The pony tried to grab him, but he was too late as Spike shot out of his reach. They called for him to come back, but he tuned them out.

As Spike raced toward the building and the raging inferno within, he saw this as going one of two ways: One, he saved the kid and got them out, or two, he perished trying to save them - and if the latter happened, well, he supposed it wouldn't be the worst thing. Let's get one thing straight, Spike wasn't suicidal, he wanted to save this kid, and he wanted to get out in one piece too; but at the same time, he was tired, and should the fire melt through his circuits, or his brain be cooked by the heat, he wouldn't exactly complain about it.

Bursting into the building, Spike instantly felt the searing heat upon his hide. Things were complete chaos, flames soared up that were taller than him, consuming everything in sight. Smoke was thick in the air, creating a suffocating blanket, though thankfully, his system was able to filter through it.

Putting up an arm to shield his face from the roaring flames, he started moving through the building.

"Hello!" he called out, stepping around debris in his path as he searched for the child. "Is anyone there!' he didn't hear any replies at first, so he kept on trying until he heard a faint voice call back through sobs.

"H-help!"

Following the voice, Spike found himself in an apartment, the possessions of the ponies who lived here now up in flames.

"Where are you?" he called back,

"Over here!" They shouted, guiding him to a small bedroom that hadn't yet been touched much by the flames. Scanning the room, he didn't see any sign of the kid, until he spotted a closet and figured that must be where they were hiding. Stepping up, he quickly tore open the doors, finding a cowering filly inside who must have been only a year or two younger than the Cutie Mark Crusaders.

The filly's eyes were wide, her face soaked with tears while her body shook madly as smoke billowed into the room. In an effort to comfort her, Spike knelt down to be at eye level, putting on a friendly face. "Hi there," he said gently. "Don't worry, okay, I'm here to help."

Reaching for the frightened filly, Spike was about to pick her up, when suddenly he pulled back at the last second, a thought occurring to him. His body was made of metal and with all the exposure to the fire and heat he'd had so far, he was probably way too hot to safely hold her. As he tried to figure out what to do, a solution presented itself in the form of a wicker basket he spotted sitting on a shelf above the girl.

Reaching up for the basket, Spike set it down on the ground and motioned to the filly. "Get in here," he told her, "I'll carry you out."

Weakly nodding her head, the filly stood up on trembling legs as she did as she was instructed. As she climbed into the basket, Spike only just then realized that she had several robotic limbs and implants, something he hadn't noticed when she was curled up in the closet.

Once she was safely inside, Spike took hold of the handles and lifted the basket, the wicker lining protecting the little pony from his heated exterior. He carried her toward the door, before stopping as he looked down at her.

"Hey, you need to keep your head down okay"

Once again, the filly did as he told her, throwing her hooves atop her head as she proceeded to make herself as small as possible.

Heading through the door, he retraced his steps as he moved through the burning building. He did his best to keep the basket and the filly inside away from any flames that got too close. A nearby wall collapsed from the fire, causing the kid to scream at the sound.

"It's going to be okay. It's going to be okay," Spike said to the filly like a mantra, doing his best to keep her calm.

Soon, the doorway he'd entered from came into view, daylight filtering in from outside. Feeling hope welling up in his chest, Spike started moving faster toward the exit, eager to get out of there and to safety.

He was mere inches from getting out, but just when it seemed like he was home free, an ominous groaning sound caught his attention. Looking up, he watched as the burning ceiling started to give way, burning pieces of plaster falling down toward him. Thinking fast, Spike tossed the basket with the filly out of the building and out of harm's way, before the falling debris pushed him to the ground.

As he was slowly buried, Spike watched as the filly shakily extracted herself from the basket unharmed. She looked his way, their eyes meeting for a brief moment before his vision went black, as everything collapsed around him.

Opening his eyes, the first thing Spike saw after coming too was the glow of the soft lights around him. At first, he thought himself to be dead, but then he took notice of the soft mattress he was laying on and all the medical equipment around him, and he came to realize he was in a hospital.

Looking at himself, he found that some parts of his body had what looked to be superficial damage, as well as some scratches and scuffing.

He sat up, looking around in confusion as he tried to determine how long he'd been out.

"You're awake!" Cried out a high-pitched voice in jubilation. Looking across at the other side of the room, Spike discovered the speaker to be non-other than the filly he'd saved from the fire. She sat in a bed like he was, her mother next to her as she sent a massive, infectious smile his way.

Now that he could see her in a better light, he was able to make out more about her than he was before. She had a light blue coat reminiscent of the sky, and her white mane and tale were like a fluffy cloud. And while he had previously noticed she had cybernetic implants, he could see that three of her legs and an ear had been replaced with robotics, as well as both of her eyes.

Spike nodded in acknowledgment, before smiling at the filly. "I'm glad to see that you're doing okay."

"Thanks to you."

The mother nodded to her child's words. "Thank you, for saving my daughter's life, I can't repay you enough."

"My name's Wild Rose," said the filly, "what's yours?"

"I'm Spike," he replied.

Wild Rose smiled sweetly. "That's a nice name for a robot."

"I'm not a robot," Spike shook his head, "I'm actually a cyborg like you."

Wild Rose's eyes grew to the size of balloons. "You are? You don't look like any cyborg I've ever seen before."

"I am," he confirmed, "I was involved in an accident a while back, and all that survived of my original body was my brain."

A sad expression etched itself upon Wild Rose's mother as she started to stroke her daughter's mane. "When Wild Rose was born, she had a lot of complications involved with her birth, doctors were unsure if she would even survive; and as she got older, she needed amputations, as well as the removal of bad organs to ensure her health."

"I'm sorry," Spike said after hearing that story, "that must have been tough."

Her mother nodded, "It was, but we've gotten through it, haven't we, sweetheart?"

Wild Rose gave a big, adorable smile. "We sure did, momma."

As the pair exchanged a tender moment between them, Spike found himself feeling puzzled at what he'd just learned. Wild Rose and he had shared fairly similar experiences, yet she didn't seem to have the same demeanor he did; she seemed so happy and full of life, despite all that had happened to her.

"Hey, Wild Rose, can I ask you a question?"

"Of course," the little filly gave a nod.

"How is it you can be so happy, even after all that's happened to you?"

Wild Rose cocked her head. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, you've been through so much, a lot of your body has been replaced with machinery, just like me. But, that doesn't seem to bother you. How do you live with that; How do you feel so alive, when so much has been taken from you?"

Wild Rose didn't answer right away, seemingly contemplating what Spike had said. "Well, you have those who love you, right?" she said at last.

Spike nodded. "Yeah, I do."

Wild Rose hummed thoughtfully. "Well, the way I see it, even though I don't have all my legs and ears and stuff, I still have ponies who care about me; If I didn't have my momma or the rest of my family or friends, then I would probably feel really lost and empty like you just said - but I do have them, and they're all I need to feel alive." she smiled up at her mom, who gazed at her lovingly.

Spike considered Wild Rose's words for a moment, thinking that they just might have some merit. Ever since his accident, he hadn't been spending a whole lot of time with Twilight or his other friends. And after seeing how Wild Rose was with her mom, he felt that maybe it was time to change that.

"Thank you, Wild Rose," Spike said after a moment, "I hadn't thought about it like that."

"No problem, Spike," she replied.

Soon, the doors could be heard opening, with the sound of hooves crashing against the linoleum floors as a familiar alicorn burst into the room.

"Spike!" Twilight cried out in relief, rushing up to the drake and enveloping him in a bone-crushing hug.

"Hey, Twilight," Spike said, his words muffled by Twilight's fur.

Releasing him from her grip, she gave him space as she turned to face him. "Are you okay?" she asked, her face alight with worry as she took in his state.

"I'll be okay, Twilight," Spike said quickly, trying to keep her from going off on one of her tangents. "It's nothing that a little paint job can't buff out."

Twilight bit her lip, most likely wanting to retort, but she ultimately let it go. "If you say so," she said, she paused, her eyes softening as she looked at him. "I heard about what happened, how you rushed into a fire to safe that filly," Twilight nodded over her shoulder toward Wild Rose. "And while I'm not happy that you put yourself in danger, I'm very proud of you."

Spike smiled. "Thanks, Twilight," he paused after that, contemplating something as he sat in the hospital bed. He'd been holding something from his caretaker for the longest time now, but after his talk with Wild Rose, he felt it was finally time to come clean. "Hey, Twilight..." he began tentatively, "can I talk to you about something?"

"Of course, you can, Spike," Twilight replied.

"You see, the thing is," he began, fiddling with his claws, "ever since that accident that left me like this, I... haven't felt the same..."

Twilight cocked her head, her eyebrows rising in confusion. "What do you mean, exactly?" she asked.

"What I mean is... ever since then, I've felt that a part of me has been missing. I should have died that day, but I didn't; I'm not dead, but I'm not sure I feel alive either," he cried, his lips trembling as Twilight watched in concern. "I feel stuck, Twilight, trapped in some limbo between life and death, and I don't know what to do. I want to feel something, anything, I want to feel alive, but I just feel..." his voice came out hoarse as he spoke, "...hollow..."

Feeling like he spent up all his energy, Spike weakly looked up at Twilight, who wore a heartbroken expression on her muzzle.

"Oh, Spike..." she began gently, a strong sense of sympathy in her voice. "I'm so sorry, I had no idea," Twilight shook her head. "Why didn't you tell me what you were going through, I would have helped."

"I'm not sure," Spike said truthfully, shaking his head, "but, if I had to put it to words, I'd think it'd be because... I was afraid I'd get an answer I didn't like; I started avoiding you, and I fell into this rut that I couldn't find my way out of. And now... I don't know what to do..." he gazed down at his claws, feeling the crushing weight of despair overcome him.

But before he could fall too far into it, Twilight put a hoof under his chin, lifting his head up to look into his eyes. "Listen to me, Spike. I can't pretend to understand what you're going through. And I can't begin to say I have all the answers to your problems. But I do know that you don't have to go through this alone..."

Spike looked into her eyes, a desperate expression on his face.

"I wasn't lying to you when I said I'll always be there for you; I'll be by your side to support you should you need me, and so will the rest of the girls. Listen," Twilight said through watering eyes, "how about once we're done here, we meet the girls at Suger Cube Corner, and continue this talk over some ice cream? Would you like that?" she asked kindly.

Spike nodded, softly at first, but gradually becoming more pronounced. "Yeah," he sobbed to his caretaker, "yeah, I'd like that!"

Twilight then pulled Spike into another hug, wrapping her hooves around him comfortingly.

And Spike was more than eager to return it. As he let himself sink into her warm, caring embrace, he felt all his stress, fears, and worry begin to melt away; He let Twilight's love for him wisk him away, taking him to a place where he could begin to heal.

As Spike snuggled up to Twilight, he knew that while it might still take some time, he could feel that things were starting to get better.

Because at that moment, he was starting to feel happy again, for the first time, in a long time.

For the first time in a long time, he was starting to feel whole.

And for the first time in a long time, he was starting to truly feel...

Alive.