I Know My Fate

by Snow Quill

Rating: teen
Tags: Tragedy, Raindrops, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Death, Romance, Treehugger
Length: 4423

Our heart lines were joined together, our hooves meant to be held by the other. I was your future and you were mine, but now the cards read death and a life alone.

The Hermit. The Wheel of Fortune. The Tower. 

A search for truth, an inevitable fate, and disaster. 

I know my fate, and sadly, it is not with you.

~~
Cw for implied death

Written for Rice as part of a Christmas fic exchange from last year. 

Cover art by me! If you are an author and would like cover art, send me a pm!

Published 2023-05-07 19:30:00 UTC
Last updated 2023-05-07 19:30:00 UTC

Chapter 1

The morning was calm, the slowly rising sun reaching out with beams of gentle warmth. They lazily crawled across the land, peeking in through open windows and calling for those asleep to wake.

One such sunbeam reached the face of a pegasus who grumbled at its arrival and turned to try and capture a few more minutes of sleep. Her ears flicked at a quiet laugh that twinkled like wind chimes, followed by soft hoof steps and the smell of ginger mint tea.

A muzzle was gently pressed to the spot right below her ear and a voice like sandalwood embraced her, smooth and warm like the sun on her back. “Good morning my dewdrop.”

Sunshower grumbled again, but it was lazy and without heart. She slowly peeked an eye open, a slow smile spreading on her lips. “Good morning hugs.”

Treehugger mirrored Sunshower’s smile and pecked her lips. “Your tea is ready. Will you join me for morning meditation in the garden?”

Sunshower looked over at the tea, her muzzle scrunching slightly. “I should, I know I need to do some yoga at least but…” She buried her muzzle into the pillow with a muffled plea of ‘five more minutes?’

Treehugger hummed in thought, though in truth she had already expected this would happen and had prepared her response. “You can have the morning to rest, but you owe me a half hour of meditation tonight.”

Sunshower lifted her head enough to mumble and yawn, “Deal.” Then, she flopped again.

Treehugger chuckled as she carefully stepped around the bed and pulled the thick curtains across the window to darken the room. Then, just as carefully, she walked out of the bedroom, leaving behind the soft snores of her marefriend.

She paused as she stepped outside, lifting her face towards the sun and closing her eyes to enjoy the feeling. She found herself swaying, leaning to the subtle pulls of the earth beneath her hooves.

Her head tilted, her brows furrowing. The energy flowing into her hooves was heavy, almost diluted, and tinged with foreboding.

“Weird...”

She felt the earth turn beneath her hooves, the firmly packed dirt softening and shifting into thousands of grains of sand. A cool breeze slapped her in the face and on it she could taste the ocean.

Treehugger let out a deep breath and let herself sink further into the vision. Soon, she was no longer herself.

She was each grain of sand on the beach, the thundering waves that crashed upon it, and the little critters that scurried to bury themselves before each rush of water. She was the gray sky above, the heavy clouds laden with rain that blocked the sun, and the tingle of electricity that would make glass on the sand.

On the beach were two mares, both familiar and not. The earth pony and pegasus were spots of green and yellow and…Red. So much red, more than what a single pony could contain certainly.

The pegasus was shouting, pain and despair clouding around her in thick puffs of blue so dark it looked black. And the earth pony…

She was a void, all colors drained from her, all colors except the great red that stained the sand and stained her body and that of the pegasus as her soul left the mortal plane.

Dark clouds began to swirl around the pair, enshrouding them in a suffocating vortex, swirling tighter and tighter around the two until…

Treehugger lurched forward, her hooves unsteady as she stumbled into a kneeling position, shivering. She closed her eyes against the sharp reemergence of the sun and coughed, her mouth and throat parched with the leftover taste of salt.

With a deep breath, she grounded herself to the earth, drawing strength and inspiration from the roots in her garden nearby as she patiently waited for her mind and body to calm.

The sun overhead brushed away the chills, whispering gentle comfort as it swept over her fur and warmed her. The dirt beneath her steadied her, providing a firm anchor that kept her from drifting too far. With time, even the strong ocean salt dissipated, leaving her mouth dry but not nearly as dehydrated.

It was the quiet voice of her love that fully brought her back though, mostly curious but with an undertone of concern. “Hugs? Are you okay?”

Treehugger opened her eyes, locking onto her dewdrop’s sparkling blue eyes. She smiled and took her offered hoof to stand up. “Ah, much better now, thank you.”

“Did something happen?”

Treehugger shrugged. “I’m not sure. I saw something that might happen. I need to meditate on it, but first I need to realign myself and clear my chakras.”

Sunshower frowned. “That bad huh? Anything I can do?”

Treehugger chuckled and nuzzled her. “There is no good or bad, there simply is. It was more intense than usual, but assigning positive or negative connotations can muddy interpretation.”

Sunshower returned the nuzzle, “Right…Sorry. You go and clear your chakras, I have to get going. I uh, sorta forgot I’m supposed to be on weather duty today but don’t worry! I promise I’ll do evening meditation with you once I’m off.”

“Awesome. I hope the winds treat you well, my heart will be flying with you.”

Sunshower blushed and kissed her cheek. “Daww, I love you too hugs.”

Treehugger smiled as she flew off, waiting until she could no longer see the pegasus before walking into her garden.

She breathed a deep sigh of relief as she entered the carefully cultivated area. When creating it, there had been a great focus on feng shui and making sure all the energy flowed just right. The second most important part was the plant life that was brought in and cared for. Lavender was the first thing she smelled and then mint as she traveled further. If she really focused, she might catch hints of apple blossom or rose.

Treehugger meandered towards the center and sat down, settling into her breathing exercises and basking in the peace and calm of her garden.

~~

After spending her morning in the garden, Treehugger returned indoors for some much needed tea.

She milled about her kitchen, considering what she should make. “Hmm…Something calming. I should still have some rose petals somewhere.”

She nodded and put her kettle on the stove to heat, keeping an ear on the water to make sure it didn’t start boiling as she searched her cabinets. She pulled out a simple wooden box and checked it with a soft ‘Ah ha’ of victory upon confirming the fresh rose petals and sprigs of mint. She placed the box to the side and grabbed her cup, a lovingly worn ceramic bowl.

She didn’t get sentimental about many things, materialism was far from a vice for her, but this bowl was something she hoped to always keep. It was one of the first things she had made when trying out ceramics. The paint had long worn off and the lip wavered oddly in places and it wasn’t perfectly even in the bottom, but she was proud of it nonetheless.

She shook some of the rose petals into the bowl and bruised the mint leaves before adding them and pouring the water over top to steep. As she waited for her tea to prepare, she washed her hooves and put the kettle up.

She grabbed her cup and headed to her reading room and sat at the table with a sigh. She closed her eyes as she breathed in the soft rose and mint scented steam, letting her thoughts drift lazily.

She took a sip as fragments of the vision came up again, bringing the whisper of a chill and salt. She exhaled, forcing herself not to focus too deeply on the sensations and let them just wash over her.

The earth pony panted heavily as she ran, her hooves beaten and sore and bleeding from the harsh streets. She stumbled as, suddenly, her hooves hit the soft and shifting sand. She rolled down the dunes, her bandana falling off and letting her dreads fly wildly.

Treehugger frowned and rubbed her suddenly sore hooves. She didn’t want to believe the green mare was her, and while she tried desperately to cling to some hope it wasn’t, she wasn’t sure how long she could keep believing it.

The waves crashed loudly against the shore, but it might as well have been a whisper in the heartbroken wails of the pegasus as she held her lover. “Don’t leave me, not like this Hugs. Celestia dammit, open your eyes! Treehugger!”

Her breath hitched, the devastated voice of Sunshower ringing in her ears. Treehugger shuddered and drank some more of her tea.

Strong winds whipped around them, furiously tossing sand that bit into their coats like tiny daggers. The wind continued, drawing in clouds in a swirling vortex that closed tighter and tighter around them.

She couldn’t be sure if the storm was meant to be literal or metaphorical. The same could be said for the vision as a whole though. They were often vague and subjective, suggesting events rather than showing them, and never had she had one so clear before.

Minutes passed as she sat and drank, giving her mind a chance to digest what was shown and show her more if there was more to be seen.

When her bowl was empty she set it to the side and grabbed a mat from under her table and carefully laid it out. While she certainly had ideas about what she saw, she felt the need for a second opinion and looked over at her tarot decks.

“Hello my friends, I am in need of your help, if you are able.”

She had collected many decks over the years, some she found, some she had made, and others gifted. She waved her hoof over the various stacks, feeling out which had wisdom to offer. Her hoof stopped on one, a recent gift from Sunshower that had beautiful nature themed art.

Treehugger bowed her head towards the cards. “I thank you and look forward to your guidance.”

Reverently, she brought the stack of cards over and shuffled them, taking extra care as she hadn’t used them as much and was still learning their energy. Cards shuffled, she laid them on the corner of the mat and took the top one.

She chuckled as she laid it on the table. “Ah, a sense of humor. I dig it.”

Staring up at her was a cloaked pony in a lush forest clearing, a tent set up nearby. The Hermit, representing a search for truth and guidance.

She took another card, revealing a large circular stone, mossy lines creating sections and a variety of creatures resting around it. The Wheel of Fortune, representing change and an inevitable fate.

She hummed, considering the card for a moment before pulling one more. An old and forgotten tower greeted her, with sickly looking vines climbing up the walls and thorny bushes at the bottom. The Tower, representing disaster and sudden upheaval.

Treehugger chewed her lip and twisted a dreadlock around her hoof as she considered the cards. By themselves, she would read that a search for truth would bring around an unavoidable disaster in a self fulfilling prophecy. In the context of her vision…

She shuddered.

She started to reach for another card but her hoof fell short. She sighed and gathered up the three she pulled, shuffling them back into the deck before putting it back with the others. “Thank you friends, you have…given me much to think about.”

~~

Treehugger’s ear flicked as the front door opened, followed by the shuffling hoof steps of a pegasus too tired to fly anymore.

Sunshower inhaled as she came upon the kitchen, perking up at the smell of dinner. “Mmm… that smells good!”

Treehugger laughed and looked over her shoulder at Sunshower. “I’m glad you think so. The pasta is almost ready, can you get our bowls on the table?”

“Sure thing.”

Treehugger returned her focus to the pan of pasta and vegetables, stirring it around to make sure the ginger sauce and seasonings were fully incorporated.

There was the sound of cabinets opening and the gentle clink of ceramic on wood, followed with quieter clunks of wooden utensils.

Teeehugger took the pan off the stove and carried it over to the table and put it on a hot pad. Sunshower stood over the pan and took a deeper breath, her nose wrinkling. “Wait a minute…there’s ginger in this isn’t there.”

Treehugger smiled as she sat. “Yes. It’s good for both of us.”

Sunshower stared at the dish, a thoughtful look on her face as she mentally ran through the benefits of ginger. Her ear flicked as she put the pieces together. “Right. And…your doctor is okay with you treating your hemophilia naturally?”

“It’s been working for me.”

Sunshower pursed her lips for a moment before sighing as she sat down. “I guess. I know that all of…this works for you but it’s not the same as using ginger to help open my chakras. You have an actual medical condition that can kill you if you aren’t careful.”

Sunshower reached over and gently held Treehugger’s hoof, turning it over and staring down at the scars that hadn’t been covered with fur yet. She shuddered as she remembered the accident, still fresh from a few months ago, when she came home from work to a bloody scene and a woozy Treehugger trying to stop the bleeding from a broken pot she had dropped. Rushing her to the hospital and just barely getting there in time. The diagnosis and serious talk from the doctor warning her.

Treehugger tensed, reliving that horrific day as well. Flashes of the vision came back as well, the incredible amount of red that stained everything. She shook her head to clear the sight. “I, I know, dewdrop. I promise I’m careful. Doctor said my blood was looking good so my remedies are working.”

Sunshower let out another deep sigh. “Alright, just know I worry about you.”

Treehugger squeezed her hoof and smiled. “I know, and I worry for you, but everything is okay. Now then, how did the weather treat you today?”

Sunshower made a face, but didn’t discourage the change in topic. “It was fine, but Rainbow was a bit…” she waved her hoof around. “Aggressive about it? Even more so than usual, something about Rarity having a special event that she needed ‘the most awesome weather’ for.” She shrugged and scooped some of the pasta and veggie mix into a bowl.

Treehugger nodded and waited until she was served before getting some herself. “Most are intense when it comes to the one that holds their heart, mares like Rainbow especially.”

Sunshower shook her head. “I still don’t know how you guessed those two would become a thing.”

“It wasn’t a guess, and a magician never reveals her secrets.”

Sunshower giggled and shook her head. “Okay miss magician. Oh, did you figure it out?”

Treehugger tilted her head. “Figure out what?”

“The thing from earlier, that you said might happen.”

She froze for a moment too long judging by the concerned frown on Sunshower’s face. Treehugger cleared her throat and picked at her dinner. “Oh, it, I couldn’t really tell. The best I could interpret is that change is coming.”

Sunshower nodded. “Right, visions and stuff are usually hard to read right?”

“Mmhmm.”

“Was it…a good change? I know you said earlier that it isn’t supposed to be good or bad, but you seemed really shaken up earlier.”

Treehugger shifted in her seat, trying hard not to let her guilt for lying show. She wasn’t really lying of course, at least not completely. Truthfully, she was still trying to convince herself the vision wasn’t literal, that death usually just indicated a change or shift in form. Either way, she didn’t want to worry Sunshower. “Uh, I guess it could be seen that way? I’m really not sure.”

Sunshower raised an eyebrow. Treehugger wasn’t usually this evasive, in fact was often delighted to teach Sunshower about everything energy or spirituality related. She decided it wasn’t worth arguing about over dinner though and tucked into her food, humming a suspicious, “I see.”

An awkward silence shadowed the rest of their dinner, any further attempts of conversation stifled just as soon as the words formed on their tongues.

It began to recede after as routines took hold, Sunshower clearing the table and washing the dishes as Treehugger prepared incense for some evening meditation and yoga.

By the time the two were settled on their mats and breathing in the earthy patchouli, the earlier tension had melted away. Treehugger knew that there would likely need to be a conversation later, but it could wait.

For now, she tried to just enjoy their evening rituals.

Chapter 2

The next morning’s sun rose a bit brighter as the weather warmed from spring to summer. Sunshower groaned as she stretched out, smacking her lips as Treehugger came in with her morning tea, aurelia gold this time.

The pegasus sat up and looked at the tea with some suspicion. Treehugger had rebuffed any further attempts to talk the night before and now she couldn’t help but feel like she was being buttered up to not bring it up again.

She wasn’t sure why Treehugger was being so dodgy and that worried her. It was clear that whatever she saw yesterday was bothering her and it bothered Sunshower that she wasn’t being told what. They were supposed to be partners, there for each other when things weren’t right.

She didn’t have the energy to fight it this early yet and so accepted the tea with a grateful smile. “Thank you. I’m not on weather duty today, were you going to the shop or staying home?”

Treehugger hummed. “Mmm…I think I’ll stay home.”

She climbed onto the bed and sat behind Sunshower, gently nudging her wings open to preen them. Sunshower grumbled quietly as she drank the tea, now Treehugger was really trying to get on her good side.

She waited until her cup was empty and Treehugger was just petting her feathers, taking the time to find the right words. Finally, she sighed. “Hugs?”

“Mmhmm?”

“I’m going to ask one more time and I really need you to be honest with me - what did you see?”

She could feel Treehugger tense behind her before she shifted to sit beside Sunshower. “Mmm…Visions are vague and could mean something ‘good’ or something ‘bad’ or it could mean nothing at all. I apologize for my mood yesterday, I was trying to sort it out and in truth was frustrated I couldn’t see something more clear.”

Sunshower was still for a moment before she nodded and leaned over to nuzzle her. “Alright. I’m sorry for bothering you about it, I was just worried. When I came outside yesterday you…It looked like you had seen a ghost, and not in the way you would react to seeing one either, but like someone who isn’t used to seeing them did.”

Treehugger returned the nuzzle with a soft frown, “I see. I’m sorry, I can’t imagine what that must have been like.”

“Just, please promise me that if something was bothering you you would tell me, that you would let me help?”

“...I promise.”

Sunshower smiled. “Good. Now, wanna do some yoga with me? All that preening has me wanting to stretch my wings out.”

Treehugger chuckled and slid off the bed and offered her hoof. “Some yoga sounds awesome. To the garden?”

Sunshower giggled as she took Treehugger’s hoof. “To the garden.”

~~

Their morning spent in the sun, the afternoon found the pair in Treehugger’s reading room after Sunshower asked for a reading.

Sunshower wandered around the small and cozy room, reminiscing on that first time she walked into Treehugger’s apothecary with a coupon for a hoof reading. It seemed like ages ago that she kept finding excuses to go back, to make sure she got the right tea, to double check dosage and get another reading since she was there.

All until she finally had the courage to confront her true feelings and make Treehugger aware.

Treehugger watched her movements with a patient smile, sitting at her table and waiting for the pegasus to join her. “Which kind of reading would you prefer today my dewdrop?”

Sunshower hummed noncommittally and wandered over to the tarot decks. She picked up the nature set she had gifted Treehugger for their anniversary. “How about the cards? It’s been a while since you’ve read them for me.”

Treehugger nodded, taking an extra grounding breath before taking the cards. She motioned for Sunshower to sit as she shuffled the deck and fanned the cards over her table mat.“How many?”

Sunshower shrugged, her hoof traveling across the cards before stopping. “I think just one.”

Treehugger nodded and selected the card she had stopped on and placed it on the table. The art showed a pair of ponies tangled together on a lush flower bed, but the card was pulled upside down. “The Lovers reversed.”

Sunshower squinted and tilted her head, trying to recall. “Disharmony and loss of balance, usually in personal relationships.”

Their eyes met, the awkward truth of the card almost smothering. Sunshower looked at the card before gently grabbing it and shuffling it back into the deck, fanning the cards toward Treehugger this time. “Your turn.”

Treehugger blinked at her before looking down at the cards. She let out a deep breath and pointed at one. Sunshower carefully flipped it over, revealing a pony hung by a vine on their back hoof. “The Hanged Pony, reversed.”

Treehugger closed her eyes and sighed. “Stalling, fear of sacrifice and needless sacrifice.”

Sunshower nodded, leaving the card out and reaching for Treehugger’s hoof. Treehugger startled slightly, but squeezed her hoof and slowly opened her eyes.

“What do you say about taking a trip?”

Treehugger blinked. “A trip?”

Sunshower nodded. “A trip. My cousin has an art show in Manehatten this weekend, I think it would be good for us to get out of here for a couple days, freshen up our energy.”

Treehugger couldn’t help a teasing smile. “Ah yes, Manehatten, the freshest and most energy friendly capital of Equestria.”

Sunshower tried to hold her pout and frown, but the especially deadpan delivery brought giggles from her. “Okay, point taken but still. They do have some nice rock shops there.”

Treehugger nodded. “That they do. Alright my dewdrop, let’s take a trip.”

~~

Treehugger hoped she didn’t look as nervous as she felt as she and Sunshower walked down the cobblestone streets of Manehatten. She had managed to put aside her worry of her apparently impending death on a beach until she was told Sky Sweeper’s art showing was in the fishing district.

The smell of the ocean stung her eyes and mouth as she surreptitiously shook off the feeling of sticky sand on her hooves.

She nudged Sunshower and smiled when she got a playful nudge back. Maybe the ‘death’ from her vision really was just indicative of change, something changing in their relationship while on this trip.

They walked into the gallery, wandering past small groups of socialites and art critics towards the main attraction.

A yellow mare perked up as she saw Sunshower, politely excusing herself from the journalist interviewing her and trotting towards them with a wide smile. “Sunshower! I’m so glad you could make it. And you must be Treehugger, namaste.”

Treehugger forced a smile and bowed her head. “Kind greetings Sky Sweeper, it’s good to meet you. I look forward to seeing your art.”

“It’s good to meet you too. Here, you two can get a sneak peek.”

Sky Sweeper winked and ushered the two behind a velvet rope and behind plain sheets that were hiding her art until the big reveal scheduled soon.

Treehugger’s eyes widened and she let out a soft ‘whoa’ at the first canvas, a minimalist piece with green and yellow strokes intertwining across a grainy gray background. Sky waved her hoof over it. “I call this one ‘Souls Intertwine’, meant to capture the simple elegance of two creatures coming together and sharing and creating color of their souls.”

Sunshower elbowed Treehugger with a giggle and whispered. “Hey, it kinda looks like us doesn’t it?”

Treehugger hummed. The yellow and green chosen were rather close to their respective coats… “Huh…Interesting.”

The next canvas was slightly larger and more colorful, but there was a melancholic tone to it. The same green and yellow paint were swimming much closer together, rarely leaving each other and starting to create a brown in the center.

“I call this one ‘Time’s Test’, representing the struggle couples go through in coming together but also maintaining their individuality.”

Treehugger hummed thoughtfully and moved on towards the final canvas, the largest piece by far and clearly the final. Her breath hitched and her heart dropped as she saw it, unable to shake her initial impression that it was her vision.

The green and yellow had separated slightly, still twirling their individual streaks but with a small ribbon of vibrant red within them and in the middle instead of the brown from earlier.

“Here is ‘Love’s Harmony’, where each soul has been able to find balance and allow room for a passionate red, representing -”

Red and green and red and yellow.

Sunshower held Treehugger’s bloody hoof to her cheek, sobbing. “Please…Hugs…”

Treehugger snapped out the scene and found herself nearly across the room from the final piece, Sky and Sunshower looking at her with varying levels of concern.

Sky chuckled awkwardly as she placed the sheet back over it. “I uh, didn’t think you would dislike it that much.”

Treehugger winced and held up a hoof to defend herself but Sunshower beat her to it. “Hugs is much more spiritually connected than most ponies Sky, so her emotional responses can seem more…dramatic. She didn’t mean any disrespect.”

“Oh I know that, I was trying to ease the tension with a joke. Trust me, as an artist my goal is to make others feel things.”

Treehugger shuddered and tried to take a breath, to stop herself from hyperventilating but it wasn’t working. It was too much, the salt on her tongue, the red on the canvas, the beach she knew was just streets away…

She turned and ran.