It's been three years. I honestly can't believe the day hasn't come sooner. But that doesn't mean I'm ready for this. I'm not. Actually, I'm the complete opposite of ready for this. I could never have imagined being in a courtroom when I was a young filly. I was an angel. With a minor setback. But apparently that minor setback isn't so minor.
If it was minor, why would I be in this courtroom right now, scared, waiting for ponies to sentence me? Or, with a very rare possibility, choose to not sentence me?
I eye my best friend on the far end of the other side of the room. He waves at me with his right hoof. I wave back and cast a nervous smile, breathing a sigh of relief. If he had used his left front leg, I would've seen the robotic parts. It scares me. The robotic part in the pony is scary, yes, but mostly because robotic things are scary. To me, at least. They trigger my epilepsy, my major setback.
Well, yes, I'm a terrible friend for thinking Smoke wouldn't know that about me by now. We've been besties for almost three years. One more day until our Best Friends Anniversary. If we can even last that long.
As I'm being nudged by Moon Glow, my supervisor, I get a flashback of this day exactly three years ago, when she pushed a younger me, flailing and crying, into the Outstanders School. There were not many ponies there because Queen Opaline very much disliked those who were Imperfect. They usually got sentenced before they could attend. Those who she saw a future in were lucky. That meant me and Smoke. We were lucky. (Yeah, no, we really weren't).
I've heard that those who have "futures" are given the best educations, special and often with a Buddy. My Buddy was Smoke. Some didn't get Buddies. They were extra unlucky. Queen Opaline calls those who have Futures "lucky" as if they're not just ponies who are going to work extra hard for her. But Smoke and I, being Outstanders, have an even rarer case. So we've got to stick together, whether we can literally or not.
As I take a tiny step, I see the time three years ago when Moon gave me one final push into the school, and smiled at me. I wailed back. She turned me around to face the near-empty cafeteria. Mostly, she made me face the one other student in the room and his supervisor, Moon's sister, Gem. The two walked near each other, and the two foals in the room were still too scared to come any closer to one another. Which turned out to be a good thing. Our supervisors explained our conditions and made us exchange our names with each other. Smoky Heart, that was his name. And his heart did turn out to be smoky, and he needed a tiny bit of robotic help for that. Just my luck.
So, since the next day when we got accustomed to each other, we were best friends through the separation of a letter slot and a wall. We talked, and letters were basically our version of texting. It was our way to practice writing, since we didn't have normal school correctly anyways.
The worst part about life, to me, is being forced to live in the school. With our supervisors next door. When you're Imperfect, life's just like that. Your parents don't love you, and you have to live with your supervisors instead. But hey, I get to have a room all to myself, with a best friend right next door.
Yes, I did get lonely in that room a lot. I couldn't have any pets because they're all robotic. Queen Opaline has the only-non robotic animals. It's so unfair. She mistreats them like she does with all of us. One day, I hope to fight her dictatorship. But I can't let her know that, or else I'll probably be dead. And if I'm dead, who's going to be left to protect Smoke like a friend? No one. So I'm going to live. For him. And he promised me that he has the same dedication. Like I said, we're best friends through the separation of a wall and a slot. Which is not much, but just enough to keep us safe.
And now, I'm sitting on one end of a courtroom, looking at my best friend who is hiding his robotic leg from me. It's rare times we get to see each other's faces. I don't think I've seen his face in about five months, the time his leg malfunctioned and made us both take a doctor's trip. He had to get his leg fixed, and I had to do something about my seizure.
I'm close to tears now. I don't want to die. If both he and I die, though, what purpose will there be in life? I look at him and send him that question through the silence. He looks back at me and I can tell he is thinking the same thing. Great minds think alike, somepony once told me.
A few hours later, after Moon talked a bit about me and Gem did the same for Smoke, we were escorted out. Smoke and I weren't even permitted to speak. I think the judges talked about the information they had in a private room. The two supervisors shared a worried look afterwards, and I cast a similar one to Smoke because of it. And then, I sent him the We Need To Talk Face. He nodded.
As we planned, we were going to talk. But since our supervisors were next door, they could hear our conversations if we got too loud. Luckily, the letter slot allowed Smoke and I to whisper to each other to be heard by only one another. So we often used that to our advantage, and we did it again tonight. After Moon tucks me in and gives me the confirming Ready To Sleep Sound in her bed, I tap on the wall and wait for Smoke to do the same. When he finally does, I whisper, "I feel like we're going to die."
Smoke takes a deep breath in. I can hear it from my side of the wall and I regret saying what I did. Smoke's definitely an optimist. I'm probably the opposite. "Maybe we will," he finally says, "but we'll find a way to protect each other, won't we?"
"Yeah," I say, feeling hopeless. "Could you maybe use one of those artificial leg coverings? Maybe then my epilepsy wouldn't be so sensitive to your robotic parts."
I can't see it, but I feel Smoke smile through the wall. "I'll ask about it. But how will we escape our fates?"
I think about it for a bit. "Do you know the Tale of The Helpers?"
"No. But I don't know a lot of tales, unlike you. Tell me that one." I grin, and I can feel him grinning back.
I giggle. "Okay, here's the tale of The Helpers to the best of my memory..."
