Chapter 1View OnlineRoyal PainsChapter 1Royal Pains A My Little Pony Fanfiction Written By John Roetzer and Xplayer “According to Evertrot’s ‘many-worlds’ interpretation of quantum mechanics, every time a choice is made a new set of realities emerge, each based on a different possible outcome of that choice. Thus all possible realities exist, all of which branch apart from each other. The great unicorn magician Starswirl the (Bearded/Wise) created a practical application of this theory by proving that each branching universe could be accessed through a unique magical frequency. Since (s)he published this proof, many of Equestria’s brightest unicorns have dedicated their lives to creating a “map of the multiverse” by peering into alternate universes through specially modified scrying spells. Of course, due to the infinite and constantly changing nature of this task, only a few ‘base’ realities similar to the Equestria we know and love have been discovered. More than 300 years after Starswirl created a means of observing alternate universes, Albert(a) Equistein designed spells that allowed communication and even travel between parallel universes. However, only a handful of unicorns in the history of Equestria besides the Princesses have the raw power needed to perform this spell unassisted, and all of them have a special talent for magic. ‘Multiverse’ spells are very complex in nature and heavily restricted at university. Very few books actually contain Equistein’s theories regarding communication and travel between parallel universes, and even some of these theories are not common knowledge, such as the revolutionary ‘e(friendship)=m(magic)c(elements of harmony)²’. There are several reasons for this necessary censorship. Firstly, many of Equestria’s brightest ponies have been lost after traveling to a branching universe and never managing to return. Secondly, most of the ponies with the ability to perform these enchantments either know, have no reason to know, or would presumably make things worse by their meddling.” -Thesis on the Dangers of Inter-Dimensional Travel, by Twilight Sparkle and Dusk Shine . . . Prince Blueblood was truly extraordinary with his trademarked smoulder, pedigree, and chiseled visage,. In fact, if he were anypony else, he would have been the most eligible bachelor in all of Canterlot, perhaps all of Equestria. Unfortunately, he wasn’t anypony else; he was the royal Prince Blueblood. The same remarkable traits that made up his appearance and status were the undoing of his personality, manners, and everything else that makes up a gentlecolt. His fame and prestige caused all the niceness inside of him to shrivel up into a little black husk and blow away in the wind. That fact can be attested to by Rarity of Ponyville, not to mention every single member of Canterlot’s nobility, especially the Princesses. Every week Blueblood went about performing his token duties, inadvertently insulting everypony he met. At the end of each week, he stormed into whatever meeting Celestia happened to be in at the time and implored her to banish, imprison, or execute the massive list of almost everypony that he made contact with that week. On the other hoof, every month the princess received a lengthy petition to have him disowned and taught a lesson in humility from almost everypony he met that week. If you asked anypony in Equestria who the most annoying, stuck up, conceited, and overall most irritating pony in existence they would undoubtedly answer with a resounding cry of ‘Blueblood’. However, while this seems like the obvious response, they would be wrong. If you specified the single version of Equestria where our Blueblood is then you would be correct. However, if one dared to venture outside of the known universe in which Equestria exists, one might find another pony who has the same ego, pretentiousness, and grandiosity. Chapter One Princess Bluebelle was absolutely furious. Not only was she intruded upon, but her royal guard refused to do anything about it. “Commander Spear,” she addressed the pegasus mare who was in charge of her personal guard. “I order you to remove this colt and have him sent to the dungeons immediately.” She waved a hoof in the general direction of the grey colt with a treble clef cutie-mark. “Madam, that is the bass player that you heard about and demanded to have play for you in private,” Spear pointed out. “Ummm... then have him play. This is taking much too long,” the Princess demanded. “Sorry about this Octavian,” whispered Spear. “I have to deal with her every day.” “Fine. But you owe me. After you get out tonight, meet me at Josephine's doughnut shop, and we can all go and hit up that new bar.” “Are you sure? I don’t think that you’ll like the music that much. They did get a DJ who plays nothing but techno.” “I don’t care about the music, as long as the drinks are on you.” “But I don’t make enough!” “...” “...” “Very funny.” . . . Octavia was chatting with Pony Joe when Commander Lance came in, still in full armor. “Sorry I’m late. Blueblood had another hissy fit. Somepony said that he looked ‘nice’ today. As usual, he took that as an insult because the filly didn’t embellish upon how absolutely stunning he was.” Commander Lance rolled his eyes. “To think that I gave up a prestigious position in a cloud factory to join the army. Of course, I didn’t know I would be in charge of babysitting this little snot.” “Little snot?” Octavia spoke up. “He’s the biggest snot in the world. That was one of my better performances, I'll have you know, and he not only refused to let me play in his theater, but he threatened to break my double bass if I didn’t leave halfway through because he disliked it. That stuck up, selfish, rude--” Pony Joe interrupted her rant, “Well, no use sitting here all night. Let’s go and visit that new bar you were talking about. I can’t wait to catch up with you all. We haven’t all been together like this since before the Gala!” With that the three of them left for the bar as they tried to avoid conversation about the pony who made all their lives miserable. . . . Octavian had consumed more whiskey and shots of straight salt than anypony in the bar had ever seen. That horrendous thumping, the music that “everypony likes nowadays,” was giving him a massive headache, and he was not much for conversation above ordering drinks and cursing at the DJ. Not that the drinks actually helped his headache; it just got worse with each glass. Meanwhile, Spear, having removed her armor at the shop, boasted a rather shapely figure and kept having to brush off the colts while chatting with Josephine. “...then the Prince himself came in and started chatting with Dusk and his friends,” Josephine said. “I knew that Dusk was his student and all, but that was quite unexpected to say the least.” “Dusk and his friends?” Spear inquired. “They destroyed the Gala entirely. It was absolute chaos. But I do admire that other unicorn colt... Elusive was it? He showered Bluebelle with cake. I couldn’t stop laughing. She was taking it out on everypony for weeks. In fact--” She was cut short by Octavian who, finally succumbing to the alcohol, slurred, “I...I wanna nuther one,” and promptly collapsed onto the floor. The two fillies who had gone with him looked at each other and rolled their eyes. This wouldn't be the first time he would wake up on one of their couches with a hangover. . . . While the captain of his bodyguard was having fun with his friends, Blueblood was sneaking around the castle. Usually, he would have insisted on a fanfare of trumpets to announce his arrival, but tonight he seemed to have upset his ‘auntie.’ He had noticed that she seemed upset when he had burst into the throne room during court. Trying to spare the peasant scum from upsetting her more, Blueblood had ordered them to leave. For some odd reason this made her even more upset. In retrospect, this was typical of his ‘auntie,’ always becoming aggravated at his attempts to help. After listening to his report on how he wanted Octavia to be put in prison for a bad performance, she dismissed him. Celestia then locked herself in the room after he had left so she could have “a private meeting”. Wondering why, Blueblood had made up his mind to find out what Celestia was scheming. Checking to make sure there was no one watching him, he decided to look around the courtroom. The only thing that was out of place was a mirror with a trace of magic around it that Blueblood had never noticed before. It was big enough to accommodate a pony the size of Princess Celestia. . . . Bluebelle cantered over to the mirror that, despite it being far too plain for her tastes, nevertheless stood out in the grand courtroom of Prince Solaris. She warily paced around it, making sure not to get too close. She reached out with her magic and probed at the remnants of the spell. To her surprise it was actually the same spell done a massive amount of times, more than anypony could have done, save the Royal Pony Brothers, and of those two only Solaris could have done it, given the banishment thing with his brother. Focusing all of her magic on the mirror, she thought back to her lessons that she took at Canterlot University (before her “untimely” and “unjust” expulsion). She fed magic into the archaic web of past spells, and the mirror started to shimmer. “Ah, a viewing spell,” she thought. “I wonder what the prince was looking at?” Suddenly the mirror flashed brightly, and she caught a glimpse of somepony that looked eerily like her. Then the mirror shattered, and she fell to her haunches, worn out from magical expenditure. She resolved to investigate further. All she needed was more power... and some way of explaining to Solaris why his mirror was broken. . . . Princess Celestia woke with a start. Something was wrong. Somehow somepony had shattered one of her spells, and if it was the spell she suspected, things could get messy quickly. Wishing to discover what exactly had happened, she created a small mirror with her magic out of nothing (all in a day’s work for a goddess). She cast a short range scrying spell and focused on the throne room. The princess almost dropped the mirror in surprise at what she saw, because there, standing next to the shattered remains of her custom made, full sized mirror was Blueblood. She watched as he summoned a maid to clean up the pieces of glass scattered about the floor. Blueblood paced about the courtroom nervously muttering to himself as he tried to think of words to talk himself out of his predicament. Setting the mirror aside, so as to continue monitoring him, Celestia analyzed the spell that he had broken. A slow smile spread across her face as she looked at the results. It was time that she payed somepony a call, a very special somepony. Celestia got up and cast a spell to prevent anypony from hearing the conversation she was about to have. Satisfied with her work she walked over to the full body mirror she kept next to her vanity. After smoothing out her long, flowing mane and ruffled feathers one last time she lowered her horn and cast the very same spell detected earlier by her nephew. the mirror shimmeredand gradually replaced her image with another. “Ladies first,” said the larger alicorn with a flaming red mane and tail. “Thank you Solly,” Celestia said as she stepped through the mirror, “I take it that you are also aware of the escapades of our respective relations in the throne room. What do you suggest we do about it?” “Well they have most certainly crossed the line, but most of the suggested punishments are much too harsh. Although I do have a few ideas.” Solaris mused. After a short discussion filled with fits of laughter from both sides a plan had been made. ‘Well, well, well.’ Celestia thought to herself, getting to work on her part of the plan, ‘This should be fun.’ . . . Solaris looked into the mirror that was focused on following Bluebelle. In the few minutes that he had been busy, Bluebelle had managed to talk her way into the university and was in a heated argument with a professor, presumably trying to get her to help examine the properties of the spell on the mirror. The professor, Mesmera, was, as expected when asked so abruptly and rudely, refusing. However, while the ruler of Equestria would normally respect the professor’s decision to refuse her services to such an unreasonable request, Solaris got out a pen and a piece of paper and took a note: “Dear Madam Professor, It has come to my attention that the young Princess Bluebelle is attempting to convince you to disobey my orders to not aid her in feats of magic. I give you express permission to go back on that order in this occasion. Please do as she asks for now. I will let you know when she oversteps her bounds. His Most Royal Majesty of Equestria, Regent of the Sun, ~Prince Solaris With a glimmer of magic the scroll disappeared from in front of the prince and landed in front of Mesmera. . . . “No.” said Professor Cantrip. “Please!” “NO.” “PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE!” Blueblood whined, stamping his hooves in desperation. “I SAID N-” Cantrip was cut off as a scroll popped into existence in front in front of him. Scowling with distaste, he ripped it open and read it. His eyes widened, and doing a double take, he read it again. Putting on a creepy smile and using the most ridiculously sugary and sarcastic voice he could muster, the professor said, “Okay, my dear prince, your undisputed logic and overpowering charisma have won me over. However may I be of service to your Majesty?” “Finally you see the light!” Blueblood exclaimed, puffing up his chest. “Here, I have something to show you.” Blueblood reached into his ornate saddlebag made from the finest pressed leather and pulled out a piece of the shattered mirror. He levitated it over to the professor who eyed it curiously. Professor Cantrip performed several spells on the fragment, causing it to glow many different colors: pink, green, mauve, and rainbow, before finally returning to its original reflective state. Taking a deep breath, Cantrip told Blueblood, “There is not a single significant trace of magic in this fragment. It has not been altered, enhanced, or cursed chemically, physically, or magically. It is nothing but an ordinary shard of an ordinary mirror.” He paused for a bit in irritation. “Is there anything else I can do for you, your majesty?” The prince was at a loss for words. “But... but I was certain that I saw something that wasn’t my reflection through the mirror! There was this... beautiful mare on the other side, staring back at me with the same curiosity my gorgeous eyes had at that moment. She was a white unicorn with a bow-tie, blond hair and the most regal demeanor. She was... like out of a dream...” Blueblood stared into empty space as the professor proceeded towards the now empty mirror frame. “You fool!” shouted the professor. “Clearly--” His words were interrupted by a sudden sweeping of his legs, which caused him to fall flat on his face. Getting up slowly, he saw an enraged Prince Blueblood staring at him with anger he had only seen from Celestia at her worst moments. “Do NOT call me a fool,” the prince ordered. “You are to address me as ‘your Majesty’ or ‘your royal highness’ or ‘prince,’ but to call me such a condescending and vulgar word is grounds to have your tongue removed from your mouth. Have I made myself clear?” Having never seen this enraged side of Blueblood before, the professor was forced to comply. “Clearly,” Cantrip continued after clearing his throat, “most magical mirrors are not enchanted through the glass itself. Since mirrors are so fragile, the glass is not an ideal host for any spell of significant magnitude. The frame is usually what is enchanted in so called ‘magic mirrors.’ The frame then transfers its spell to whatever piece of glass is inside it at the time.” Blueblood stepped closer to the frame of the mirror, observing its gold leaf inlay and ornately carved woodwork. The frame appeared as rays of the sun emanating from the reflection that it once showed when it still contained glass. Now, the frame stood mounted on a stone wall, and the only thing staring back at Blueblood was the gray granite rock of the castle. He turned back to the professor and smiled. “Now tell me more about this enchanted frame...” At that moment, however, a unicorn servant burst into the room, flanked by two pegasus guards. She took a scroll from her saddlebags, unrolled it, cleared her throat, and said, “The Great Regent of the Sun, Princess Celestia would see you in her private quarters immediately, Prince Blueblood.” . . . “Bluebelle, I am ashamed of you,” Solaris sighed, “What should I do with you? Your blatant disregard for... for everything has gone too far! I have received far to many complaints about you, but now you even have broken my own personal property. That mirror was given to me over one thousand years ago by the Queen of the Dragons, from her own personal hoard no less. It was an irreplaceable treasure, and a new facsimile will take about a month to come in. The cost to the royal estate will put even more pressure on the budget in these hard economic times. This is all coming out of your weekly allowance from the treasury.” While Solaris was glaring at Bluebelle, who was cowering and trembling in the corner of the study, on the inside he was laughing. While he did feel guilty about telling her this, he felt that Bluebelle deserved at least some threatening verbal abuse, even if it was all lies. That mirror had been destroyed at least three hundred times in the past thousand years. In fact, the queen herself had broken it on the very day it was given to him. There was no expense to the treasury; Solaris would just conjure a new mirror in its place as he had done many times before. The Alicorn stallion turned and announced, “And in order to teach you a lesson in humility you will be living in the same quarters as your bodyguard. You will do as she says. Pretend that the two of you are... switching places.” “Y-yes s-sir. M-may I ask how long this will last? Sir?” Bluebelle spoke up. “For as long as it takes, my dear. Yes, as long as it takes...” Solaris said with an almost menacingly evil grin. Prince Solaris then dismissed Princess Bluebelle, and he wrote down some instructions for Commander Spear, which he promptly turned into smoke and sent magically. Getting prepared to set up a rift to talk to Celestia, he cast a spell on a small hoof mirror. When he was about to release the magic, he stiffened in surprise, and the spell shattered. If he wasn't mistaken, somepony not too far outside the castle had just let out a pitiful shriek of “Noooooooooooo!” . . . “Noooooooooooo!” shrieked Lance, as he collapsed on the ground and flailed around the moment after he read the letter from Celestia. In response to this outburst, Octavia lifted her head from the pillow in which it had been buried and flopped off of the couch. “Whatsagoin’ on? Uhnnggg... my head,” she complained holding her hooves to her skull. “Dear Celestia, my head... it HURTS. That’s da LAST time I’ll drink, never EVAH again. How much...?” “Seventeen shots of whiskey and five shots of salt,” replied Pony Joe, “before I lost count, that is. Oh, and for the record, you also said something about ‘dat flank’ in regards to the DJ; she seemed to like you. Would you like me to continue?” Octavia blushed and shook her head, clearing her thoughts enough to speak relatively clearly. “I’d rather not know. So... what’s wrong with Lance? I... I think he’s, uh, he’s doin’ the hyper...hyper...hyperventasomethin.” Octavia half-walked half-lurched her way over to the now frozen figure of the always stoic Commander Lance and, failing to grasp the letter, allowed Pony Joe to pick it up, and he read it aloud. “Commander Lance, I send this to inform you that due to his recent and long term behavior, Prince Blueblood will be living with you until further notice. This is so that hopefully he will learn about the plights of the average citizen of Equestria. I hope he does not prove to be too much of a burden. I will be sending him over this afternoon. I hope you can teach him something that nopony else could. Her Most Royal Majesty of Equestria, Regent of the Sun, ~Princess Celestia P.S. I will try to repay you for this favor. I don't have much of choice right now.” Octavia and Pony Joe looked at each other. “On shecond thought, mehbe I’ll have s’more of what I had last night.” “Not a bad idea.” . . . Prince Solaris and Professor Mesmera were walking along a few yards in front of a grumbling and irritated Princess Bluebelle. Bluebelle was trying, unsuccessfully, to mutter under her breath, but since she lacked the graces of subtlety, every word she said was overheard by the prince and professor. Mesmera gave Solaris a pleading glance and, after a nod from the prince, smiled as she magically shut the mouth of the vociferous princess. After futilely fumbling with the zipper that had appeared over her mouth, Bluebelle glared at the professor and prince before continuing to walk in silence. They soon left the royal district of Canterlot and entered the main residential areas. Coming by an apartment complex, Solaris stopped, inclined his head toward his niece, and motioned her towards the door. Bluebelle, wise enough not to expect Solaris to open the door for her, slowly approached the door and gave it a pitifully soft tap. Undoing the zipper Solaris chided her, “You’ll have to do better than that, you know.” “But... but I...” “Don’t you ‘but I’ me young lady. Just knock on the door.” She knocked slowly and deliberately, as if it took all her strength to accomplish the task. There was a shout of “Coming!” and within a minute the door opened to reveal Commander Spear. From Bluebelle there came a sullen and dejected “Hello.” “Good afternoon to you too,” Spear replied half-sarcastically. She ushered the Prince and Professor in, followed by Bluebelle. “I’m sorry that this might not be what you royals are used to, and I didn’t have much time to prepare, but this is my home.” “Well, if it is good enough for the captain of my niece’s guard then it is good enough for her,” Solaris said, giving Bluebelle a sharp look. He noticed Octavian and Josephine, “Oh! You have visitors! Please introduce us.” “Umm... well this is Josephine and this is Octavian.” “Ah, miss Josephine,” Solaris said. “I remember all of those times when I had to pick up Dusk after he spent all night studying. And unless you have changed the recipe since the Gala, your doughnuts are still the best Equestria has ever had.” “Why thank you, sir,” answered Josephine, blushing slightly at such a compliment from the ruler of Equestria. “No, thank you, for always having a place for Dusk,” Solaris replied. “And are you the same Octavian who performed at the Gala? I am sorry that I couldn't make it to your performance. How would you like a few prime slots at the Royal Theater? I have always wanted to hear you perform. It is the least I could do. And I believe, Bluebelle, an apology...” Bluebelle interjected, “Well I dare say there is, after that horrendous...” She stopped mid-sentence after Solaris shot her another stare that really made her worry she would really be sent to the moon this time. “Oh, um... sorry.” “I didn’t catch that.” “Sorry.” “Once more...” “...” Spear facehoofed. This was going to be a looooooong ordeal.
Chapter 2View OnlineRoyal PainsChapter 2It had been about an hour since Celestia had left, followed shortly by Professor Cantrip. Not too long afterward Pony Joe and Octavia left Lance’s home as they mumbled a vague excuse on their way out. Lance, however, knew the real reason they had left. The very fact that Blueblood was in the room was enough to make anypony nervous. Only a truly deluded pony wouldn’t realize this. “Well that was rude,” grumbled Blueblood. “Even though I must admit that house-sitting for a bear sounds important, such common tasks cannot come close to the importance of being in the presence of Royalty such as myself.” “If house-sitting a bear is a common task, then I’m an Alicorn,” Lance thought to himself. “Actually,” he retorted, “according to your aunt, er, the Princess, your royalty has been indefinitely suspended. Now you have no excuse for being as dense and selfish as you always are.” Blueblood stared at Lance in horror, and for a few awkward seconds that seemed like forever to both ponies, there was silence. Finally, Blueblood’s face contorted into one of pure rage, worse than the one he had shown the professor, a face not simply angry but seriously intent upon killing the next pony who did something he found improper. “HOW DARE YOU!” he roared. “HOW DARE YOU SAY SUCH THINGS TO ME!” He lunged at the Pegasus with his horn, charging wildly. Lance simply stepped aside and allowed him to plunge his horn into the wall. Walking around to the other side of the prince, who lay on the ground stunned, the soldier bent over his new roomie and calmly said, “Do not make to attack me again. You are no longer in charge, and we are by no means equals. Rather, you are to treat me as your superior. And as your superior, I expect you to pay for that hole in the wall.” Upon hearing this, Blueblood started to fully grasp how precarious his position really was. He began to sweat a little, and truly felt small and insignificant now that he was a subordinate the the head of the royal guard. “However,” Lance continued, “I am not one to abuse such power, unlike you.” He said the last two words with particular emphasis to tell Blueblood not-so-subtlety of his vices. Of course, Blueblood was too worried about the new way of life set before him to interpret Lance’s inflection. As he walked to his room, Lance turned to Blueblood one last time and said, “Make yourself comfortable on the couch. the spare bedroom may be yours when you prove yourself to be a guest rather than a nuisance. We’re getting up early tomorrow.” . . . Five o’ clock in the morning is what Commander Spear considered to be a normal and reasonable time to wake up. In fact, she had let herself sleep in. But what is normal for a soldier of Canterlot is not normal to the average citizen, much less for a pampered, upper crust snob. For Princess Bluebelle, this was only a time that lowlifes like farmers would get up to perform chores only fit for servants. Lucky for her, it was quite impossible to rouse her; she was a very deep sleeper and resisted all manner of shoving and loud noises on the part of her new roomie. Spear went about her business, taking a shower, making herself some breakfast, and getting ready for the day. Spear looked at her clock; it was getting close to six in the morning. After she glanced again at the comatose figure of the disgraced princess, she sighed and went into the kitchen. Picking up a pot and a wooden spoon she stormed into her living room and started banging them as loud as she could. It was about time the other ponies in her apartment building got up as well, and it would be her first noise violation in a while, so she was safe. Bluebelle woke up with a start, actually flying up into the air with a yelp. She came back to earth with a crash, landing on and subsequently breaking the coffee table. “What is the meaning of this?” demanded the irate princess as she picked herself up off the ground. “I should be asking you the same thing. You are the heaviest sleeper I have ever met, and that includes trainees in the Royal Guard after their first day of general combat training. Speaking of the Royal Guard, on your uncle’s recommendation I have decided to enroll you in it... my own division.” Bluebelle suddenly felt a twinge of resentment for all those civil rights ponies pushing for “mares in the military.” “B-b-but why?” Bluebelle managed to stamper out. “Because I can, and I am most certainly not going to let you out of my sight. Come on, move out!” The princess refused to move, so Spear leaned over and, seizing Bluebelle by her unkempt tail, began to drag her away. “Warsh urt fr deh stehrsh!” Spear managed to say through a mouthful of tail. “What? Wait! Ah! Oof! Ack!” Bluebelle choked out as she fell down the ‘stehrsh’. Spear released the tail. “I told you to watch out for the stairs.” Bluebelle glared at her. “Well?” “Well what?” “It may be asking to much of you to expect an apology, but where is my carriage? I cannot be meant to walk there like a lowly peasant. I also assume that we are off to procure something for breakfast - some crepes, perhaps?” “Nope. If you hadn’t slept like a rock I would have gladly shared my breakfast with you an hour ago.” “Wha...” “Hurry up or you’ll be late. Trust me, you don’t want to get on Sarge’s bad side before you even arrive.” . . . After a long walk filled with both complaining AND whining, Commander Lance and Prince Blueblood finally made it to the barracks. Upon arrival, Lance was welcomed, as he always was, with awe and respect on the parts of the new recruits and friendly greetings from the other seasoned veterans. Blueblood was expecting, as he always did, the stony-faced apathy his guards, and most other guards that were trained to be in the castle. Instead he was faced with two different ends of the spectrum. The new guards were, for the most part, shying away and eyeing him with distaste. The others were sucking up and fawning all over him. At least they were, until they were yelled at and taken to various training fields in all parts of the facility. When the room had cleared out, the only ponies left were the prince, Lance, and a dark coated Unicorn. “Who is this? Some gawker, I presume?” Blueblood snorted pretentiously. “Nope” Lance said, and smiled happily to himself. “Then who...” “I’M THE SARGE, AND EITHER I’M GONNA TOUGHEN YOU UP OR I WILL MAKE YOUR LIFE HERE A LIVING HELL!” The prince flinched only slightly, for the Royal Sisters had yelled at him in private many times before. Rather than shrinking away in fear as Sarge expected, Blueblood retorted, “THERE IS NO NEED TO USE THE ROYAL CANTERLOT VOICE HERE.” He paused and added as a supplemental insult, “ALSO, YOU NEED TO BRUSH YOUR TEETH.” Sarge was unperturbed by the prince’s words and shouted back rhythmically, “SHUT, YOUR MOUTH!” Sarge was one of the few unicorns who didn’t use magic directly from their horn. Instead, his special talent was shouting, and his shouts carried a certain magical weight to them. Most of the time, he only “yelled” at other ponies, but when he used one of his “shouts,” it was as powerful as one of Fluttershy’s stares. This particular shout caused Blueblood’s mouth to seal itself shut for the second time in twenty four hours. “Don’t you worry, your majesty,” Sarge said. “The effects of my shouts are only temporary... usually.” He leaned down further until he was whispering directly into Blueblood’s ear, “And don’t you get ta thinkin’ that your aunt is gonna do anythin’ ‘bout it. She may be in charge of the cosmos but in here I make the rules. Do.You. Understand. Private?” Unable to form a verbal response, Blueblood only was able to nod in agreement as Sarge took him off to start his training. . . . Bluebelle had experienced the worst day of her pampered life. “Not only was Sarge veritably torturing me, but she was demeaning and abusive too. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t do anything right! I hate her! She-she’s just so MEAN!” Bluebelle then broke down and started sobbing on Spears’ shoulder in the middle of the street. Spear felt very awkward as ponies began to stare at the bawling princess. She began to break into a trot in an attempt to put some distance between her and Bluebelle, but the princess matched her speed and kept up with Spear. Unable to stand listening to Bluebelle any longer, she galloped home as fast as her legs could carry her, leaving the princess in a cloud of dust. She scurried into her house and quickly locked the door. “I don’t care about duty anymore! I just can’t take it; good Solaris I can’t take it!” She slumped over to her couch and lay on it facing towards the ceiling. “That Bluebelle! I knew it was going to be a challenge to teach her how to live like a normal pony, but it’s not just a challenge. It’s impossible! She’s simply not cut out to be a soldier. She lacks discipline, strength of mind or body, and any capacity to follow orders. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make her drink.” Spear stared at the ceiling and breathed deeply. She felt a scream trying to escape from her vocal chords, but in an effort to maintain what little composure she had left, Spear suppressed it. She rolled off the couch and onto the floor as she continued to think aloud. “On the other hoof, she did survive her first day of basic training. She didn’t give up like I’ve seen other ponies do. Sure, she broke down in tears like a little girl, but I...” She paused to make sure that no one was around. “I wasn’t far from crying after my first day of basic training. Sarge certainly didn’t take it easy on me either. What did she say that day? Something like, ‘Basic training gets a pony back to her basics. Nopony can hide her true character after galloping all day. The best and worst traits of a pony become clear in a time of crisis.’ Sure Bluebelle is despicable in many ways, but nopony is all bad. Maybe I’ve been too hard on her.” At that moment there was a thud at the door. It seemed that Bluebelle had tried to knock but was so exhausted that she had lost her balance and fell on the front step. Spear hesitated for a second, but then walked over to the door and opened it to the sorry sight of Bluebelle, who looked worse than she did after being showered with cake at the Gala. Her white coat was stained almost completely brown. She had cuts and bruises all over her body from falling to the ground numerous times during her exercises. Her eyes were closed shut; her face was spoiled by streams of tears.Her legs were spread on the ground, muscles twitching from overexertion. If there really is good in everypony, Spear thought, then nopony deserves to be in this much pain. Spear picked Bluebelle up and used all her strength to throw the princess on her back and carry her inside. Spear carried Bluebelle upstairs to her bed and tucked her in. “It’s okay Bluebelle,” she told the princess in a soft, almost motherly voice. Then she thought of a song her mother used to sing to her before bed and began to serenade Bluebelle. “Hush now, quiet now; it’s time to lay your sleepy head...” Spear may have imagined it, but she thought she heard Bluebelle singing along with her by the time the lullaby ended. . . . “...so I sent out my messages to you and Octavia, made a simple dinner, left a note for Blueblood, and then came here right away. I just don’t know what to do!” Lance and Pony Joe were sitting at a table in Pony Joe’s shop, or rather Pony Joe was sitting as Lance paced back and forth, going on and on about the situation at hoof. Joe, in an effort to change the topic, asked, “Well, where is Octavia anyway?” “Oh, she sent a note saying that she was going on a dinner date with somepony and couldn’t make it,” responded Lance. “Bet ya ten bits it’s with that DJ mare from a few nights ago.” “Well right now I couldn’t care less about her relationship status. I have to send some kind of report to Celestia about how he has been progressing, but I have no idea what to say!” “Has he made any progress?” “I think so, but not much. And I have no idea how long he can keep it up. He only began to behave after spending a day as the Sarge’s pet project.” Pony Joe put a hoof to his friend’s shoulder, “If that’s what you think, then tell her. You’re getting just as worked up as Twilight on the day before a test, and the next day she would always come back with a perfect score. You’ll be fine.” Lance looked relived, “Thanks Joe, I’ll get right on that. I just have to go back and make sure Blueblood hasn’t gotten himself into trouble while I was gone, then I’ll talk to Celestia.” Lance trotted back to his apartment and turned on the lights. Blueblood seemed to have gone to bed. After everything that had happened that day, Lance felt the need to reconcile himself with Blueblood, so he entered the guest room planning to wake him up and have a talk before the sun went down. However, upon entering the room, Lance noticed something strange. Blueblood was missing. . . . Bluebelle wandered through the maze in the palace sculpture garden. It had been shifted only a few days before, and some parts were still new to her. She sat down in the dirt and sighed. Only yesterday she had been on the top of the world. Now she was bruised and, while physically whole, her spirit had been broken. Faintly, in the distance, she saw Prince Artemis raise the moon. As he flew by Solaris’ chambers, she heard his softly booming voice shout “GOOD NIGHT BROTHER. I SHALL SEE THEE ON THE MORROW!” With that the lights went off, and she turned her gaze to a neighboring tower. She lamented the loss of her personal suite, her wardrobe, her cushions, her cosmetics, and her sweets. What she would give for some truffles, crepes, and some white wine. Putting these things in the back of her mind, she turned back to the maze in front of her. Bluebelle closed her eyes and remembered the day she first conquered this maze and earned her compass cutie mark, the best day of her entire life. She remembered the joy she felt in realizing her purpose and the exhaustion that accompanied the effort. As she was caught in this memory, a light turned on in Solaris’ Chambers. Soon there was the sound of many galloping hooves as an outfit of guards rushed out of the tower. Bluebelle saw the torches of the guards move their way through the castle and into her tower. That’s peculiar, she thought to herself. Why would they wish to investigate my private chambers? After a few seconds in her room, most of the lights spiraled back down the stairs. Suddenly, the Prince’s room grew bright, and a beams of sunlight radiated out in every direction and began to scan the castle grounds. “Bluebelle! Bluebelle! Are you out there?” Bluebelle was taken aback. She recognized the voice as Spear’s, her roommate who had tossed her away to spend her day with the military like a delinquent child. However, this Spear didn’t sound like she was retrieving a runaway dog; she sounded like she was searching for a lost friend. Bluebelle paused, unsure what to do, and then was caught in Solaris’ magical beam of sunlight. She squinted and tried to move out of the way, but the beam followed her as she moved. A shadow flew over Bluebelle’s head, and the light turned off. Spear swooped down from the tower and landed next to Bluebelle, covering her with her wing. After a pregnant pause, Spear spoke up. “Is there something that you wanted to talk about?” Bluebelle remained silent and began to slowly walk away. Spear followed her to a bench by the statue of Eris, the draconequus who symbolized disharmony and chaos. They sat down and simply gazed into the night sky. . . . Blueblood was gone. Lance proceeded to tear through his apartment, looking for any trace of the prince. Lance paused, shocked, his brain struggling to deal with Blueblood’s absence. With no sign of the prince, Lance went and did what he had to do. He put on his armor and talked to his landlord. He finally coaxed the elderly mare into telling him which direction he had went. The mare told Lance that she saw Blueblood heading for the castle less than an hour ago. Lance began to gallop down the street and took to the air. Within minutes he arrived at the palace. Day court had ended about half and hour earlier. Celestia would have retired to bed. All he would have had to do was-- “Halt!” Lance turned around. “Yes, Private?” The younger, more inexperienced guard turned white, even though his coat was already the color of snow. “So-sorry sir. I was instructed not to let anypony pass. Even you.” “Me specifically?” “N-no, but--” “As your superior, I order you to let me pass. I have a matter of grave importance to discuss with the Princesses. Gather the rest of your outfit and return here immediately.” “Sir, yes sir!” The youthful pegasus left hastily, and returned within five minutes. Lance addressed the guards. “Prince Blueblood has gone missing from my care. I intend to report to Princess Celestia immediately and organize a search. Let’s move out!” With that he began to gallop towards the Princess’ tower, passing by a startled Luna on the way. Bursting in he bowed and began to speak, “Princess Celestia... and Professor Mesmera... I apologize for intruding but Blueblood has seemingly ran away, and I have reason to believe he is hiding somewhere within the castle grounds.” “Oh Blueblood...” Celestia said to herself, before announcing, “Guards, go to Blueblood’s tower, Lance, stay here.” She waited for the guards to leave before saying, “Cantrip, Lance, cover your eyes.” The room grew unbearably bright as Celestia began to radiate sunlight and shine like a spotlight into the garden. “He always love the maze,” the princess said. “If he were to go anywhere, that would be it.” Lance made his way to the window and leaped out calling, “Blueblood! Blueblood! Are you out there?” He spread his wings and circled the maze. Celestia’s spotlight stopped, and passing through it, Lance caught sight of the prince. The beam shut off and Lance landed, feeling the most relieved he had felt for a long time. He covered the prince with his wing, not desiring that he should escape again. “Is there something you wanted to talk about?” “Fine...”
Chapter 3View OnlineRoyal PainsChapter 3Chapter 3 “Is there something you wanted to talk about?” asked Spear. Bluebelle hesitated but decided that she had no other choice. “Fine.” Bluebelle began, “I suppose one could say that my problems began with my talent, if one could even call it that.” “What do you mean?” Spear shifted on the bench uncomfortably. Doubting one’s talent was equivalent to actually giving up one’s identity. Ponies’ special talents make them who they are, so much so that the talents become an integral part of them, the core of their being as represented by their cutie marks. If that was what was happening, then Bluebelle’s problems could be much deeper than simply being a spoiled brat. “From the time that I was a little filly, I would come down to the palace whenever I could. Sometimes I would be there to visit my uncle, but most of the time it would simply be to play with other colts and fillies who resided near the palace. I was surprised to discover that some of them belonged to the castle staff, though the majority did come from the Canterlot Academy for Gifted Unicorns. There was one filly in particular--” --a light blue unicorn colt was calling for her. “Hey! Bluebelle! Over here!” He trotted over to her, but his legs got caught in his purple cape, and he fell to the ground. As he tangled himself further in his efforts to get out, his over-sized hat fell over his eyes. “Are you okay?” giggled Bluebelle. “You look pretty stuck.” “The Great and Powerful Presto does NOT get stuck, he only--oof!” Falling over again he sent Bluebelle into another fit of giggles. “Help me up.” “Say please.” “The Great and Powerful Presto does not subject himself to such trivialities as--” “As being polite? I could just leave you here, you know.” Presto sighed. “Please help me up” “Okie dokie lokie!” She helped him up and the two of them ran off to join a few other foals in a game of hide and seek. “Presto and I were inseparable. We would always get into all sorts of trouble together.” “Didn’t either of your parents worry about you two?” Spear interjected. Bluebelle replied uncomfortably, “Presto was an orphan... I think, and my parents were never very involved. They did not see me as a pressing investment during my childhood.” “I’m so sorry, I didn’t know, I--” Spear stammered, trying to save face. “Well... what types of messes did you get in?” Bluebelle laughed, recalling the various adventures she and her companion experienced, “My favorite was the incident when we decided to stage a coup against Prince Solaris--” “Hey, Presto, what are we going to do today?” “The same thing we do every day, Bluebelle, try to take over Equestria!” The two foals looked over their plans again on the floor of the school library, doodles that resembled a Rube Gallopberg Machine more than a plan to overthrow Prince Solaris. The paper was covered with lines, arrows, X’s and O’s, plans for tunnels and explosions and the release of an Ursa Major. “Where the hay are we going to find an Ursa Major?” Bluebelle asked. “The Great and Powerful Presto shall use his charm and natural charisma to lure the Ursa Major into the palace,” said Presto with a grin. “It is but a simple task for such a stallion as talented as myself.” Bluebelle opened the copy of “A Pony’s Guide to Fantastic Beasts” that the foals were using for reference and pointed to a picture of the Ursa Major. “This is an Ursa Major. This,” Bluebelle pointed to a capital letter “A” in the caption, “would be the relative size of a pony. The Ursa Major wouldn’t be able to fit through the castle gate, let alone the secret passageway we plan to take.” The Great and Powerful Presto was disappointed but he nodded in agreement. “Well, if we aren’t going to use an Ursa Major, then what are we going to use to overpower Prince Solaris?” Bluebelle paused for a moment in thought. She paced back and forth before suddenly springing up with an idea. “We shall take him by surprise!” “Surprise?” said Presto dully. “You really think we can simply... trot into the throne room and surprise Prince Solaris into giving us his kingdom?” Princess Bluebelle stared into her friend’s eyes with a look of such sincere confidence that Presto had to wonder if his friend had really gone crazy. “Of course!” “YAAAAAAH!” With a shout Bluebelle and Presto charged at Solaris, who had just turned his back on the potted plant behind which they had been hidden. The Sun Deity smiled and, playing along, fell to the floor. Levitating the crown off of his head Presto began to gloat. “Ah-ha! Not even the mighty Prince Solaris can stand up to the wits and cunning of the Great and Powerful Presto!” “Honestly, Presto. You didn’t even think this plan would work!” “I did! I believed you the whole time!” “Did not.” “Did too!” “Did not!” “Did too!” Solaris let them bicker for a few moments before he muttered “Psst! Why don’t you share the credit?” The two usurpers looked at each other and nodded. Solaris then stood up and bowed to them. “What will your first orders as rulers of Equestria be, your Majesties?” With barely a pause the two of them shouted, in perfect unison, one word: “CANDY!” . . . “That really was an absolutely massive sugar high. There was also this one other time when we--” “Blueblood?” interrupted Lance. “What does this have to do with how you got your cutie mark?” “Yes, I was getting to that part. I was a very late bloomer in that sense. Most of my classmates had received their cutie marks before me. After a party for a filly by the name of Moondancer, I was rudely confronted by a small group of colts who were known for being bullies. They were acting strangely friendly. I should have noticed something was amiss, but at the time I was more willing to give other ponies second chances. They said that Trixie had gotten lost in the maze, so, even though I was deathly afraid of getting trapped in the maze or that this was a cruel trick by the bullies, my desire to help my only real friend outweighed my fears. So I went to the maze and began to search for Trixie, whom I only could hope hadn’t gotten into greater trouble than I could handle--” “Blueblood!” called Trixie, “Where are you!” Trixie had been in the maze for nearly an hour in her desperate search for the prince. So far she had encountered an out of place apple grove, a clearing filled with balloons that looked like a good place for a party, and a slab of rock, but no Blueblood. She had even passed what appeared to be a hammock made out of clouds, though she couldn’t know for sure, as she wasn’t a pegasus. Even her talent for magic was not proving useful, as she was only truly proficient at illusion spells. “He probably isn’t even in here.” Trixie thought, “Why did Trixie even listen to those jerks. They never helped Trixie before, why should they have done so this time?” “It’s okay, Trixie.” she muttered to herself, “Somepony will come along soon and find you. Everything will definitely be all right.” “All Right? You call being lost ‘All Right’! ‘Great’ and ‘Powerful’? Don’t make me laugh.” a small portion of her subconscious spoke up. “You’re just a lost little filly with no family. The best thing you have is a single friend, but that’s not going to last, is it?” It was finally too much for her. The Great and Powerful Trixie curled up on the ground and began to cry. Blueblood was utterly and completely lost. The maze itself seemed to be continuously shifting around him. After traveling up and down the same passage several times, he realized that this was not simply an illusion, but that the walls were actually moving. He would take three steps forward and suddenly a hedge would grow up behind him, blocking the path on which he just walked. “Trixie! Are you even in here?” he bellowed again. As with all the other attempts there was no response. He kept walking. “I wonder how long it will take for somepony to find me?” Blueblood wondered, He had a special tower, one of the royal suites, in the castle where he spent most of his time, and it wasn’t unusual for him to stay up late and wander around the palace and the nearby Canterlot streets. He wouldn’t be missed until sometime tomorrow... or today. It was pretty late and midnight may already have passed. Lost in thought, Blueblood wandered the maze, negotiating the twists and turns with the uncertainty only possessed by those who know that they are completely clueless. The maze seemed to be leading him in one direction more than the others, and due to its continuous shifting, he had little choice but to follow it or sit still. After a while he began to notice a change in the direction of the meandering paths. No longer did they continuously push him forward and left of the entrance, but in a loose circle. To test this he levitated a small pile of rocks into the middle of the path. Sure enough, after a few turns, he came across either the same pile of rocks or a clever facsimile. Even though his experience in the maze so far has taught him that he can’t trust anything he sees, he decided to give the rocks the benefit of the doubt and assume it was the one he made, . Exhausted after the long night in the maze, he stopped and leaned against a hedge, trying to think. The next thing he knew, the hedge had vanished, causing him to tumble to the path on the other side. He fell, face first, into the ground, startling a certain light blue unicorn. . . . “Guahh!” Bluebelle shouted in surprise as she fell into the dirt that made up the maze floor. “Eeep!” squealed the Great and Powerful Presto as his best friend unexpectedly fell at his feet. “What are you doing here?” they exclaimed in unison. “I came looking for you!” they answered, again at the same time. Presto quickly sputtered out his next line before there could be any more awkward synchronous speaking. “Some students told me that you got lost in the maze, so I came looking for you!” Bluebelle facehoofed. “Looking for ME? Some students told me that YOU were lost in the maze so I came looking for YOU!” Presto stared back in shock. “Don’t tell me,” he said, now realizing the predicament they shared, “they were a group of jock unicorns led by a mare who looked like she’d had one too many spells blow up in her face. She had a signet ring as a cutie mark, right?” Bluebelle was now banging her head against the nearest hedge, “Yes, yes, I cannot believe we both fell for the oldest trick in the book.” She took her head out of the hedge and began to pace in a tight circle, almost as if she were chasing her own tail. Bluebelle began to speak frantically, “But if they tricked both of us, and no one knows where we are...” “...then it could be hours before anyone even begins looking for us, let alone finds us,” Presto concluded. “Can’t you, like, teleport us out of here?” Bluebelle asked. “I mean, you have more magic than anypony I know!” At this Presto looked down at his hooves. “I can’t.” Bluebelle was undeterred in her confidence. “Well I’m sure that you’ll think of something.” Presto couldn’t take it anymore , he broke down and started to scream at his friend, “My magic just isn’t good enough, okay!” Then, quietly, he muttered, “Nothing I do is good enough.” At that he turned away and started to cry softly. Bluebelle was uncertain of what to do. Presto was always somepony she could depend on in any situation. Of course, those predicaments were either school related, self inflicted, or both. In fact, she now realized that most of the good things that happened to her, and most certainly the best ones, had something to do with Presto. Lost in thought over all the good times they had and the ones that were to come, Bluebelle didn’t even notice when her horn started to spark of its own accord, eventually coalescing into a steady glow. It pulsed and shot a beam of energy so strong that it knocked her over. “P-Presto? What’s happening to me? I didn’t even cast a spell!” “Well, I don’t think that your horn knows that.” “Help me turn it off!” “How?” “I don’t know, just do it!” Bluebelle began to skid forward, pulled by the light of her horn. “It’s pulling me!” she squeaked. Presto sprang into action, clamping down on her tail, but it was to no avail, as he was dragged forward with her through the twists and turns of the labyrinth. The maze’s landmarks, the balloons, the apple orchard, and the mysterious rock whizzed by faster than one could say “chimmicherry” and soon the pair found themselves outside the entrance of the maze, out of breath, and extremely dizzy. When they were finally able to keep the world from spinning around them, they noticed something strange about Bluebelle’s appearance. Her flank, which had previously been blank, now bore the symbol of a compass rose. Bluebelle was exhilarated. “Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh! I have a CUTIE MARK!” She began to bounce around in a circle squeeing with glee as Presto stood watching her in a state of mild melancholy, smiling on the outside that he and Bluebelle had escaped, but at the same time worrying about something. Bluebelle could tell just by Presto’s preoccupied expression that he was hiding something. “Presto, what’s wrong?” Bluebelle asked, concernedly. Presto looked up, then suddenly averted his gaze. “Presto, look at me and tell me the truth. You’re not telling me something and I think I should know what it is.” Presto scraped his hoof along the ground in front of him, stirring up a small cloud of dust “Presto knows he shouldn’t have kept this from you, but he didn’t know how to say it. I-I’m leaving.” Bluebelle’s smile instantly dropped into a look of surprise and disappointment. “Wait, you mean, you’re leaving the maze? Or you’re leaving the school? Or Canterlot? Or... me?” Presto continued to paw the ground with his hoof as he mumbled, “Even The Great and Powerful Presto has parts of his life he cannot control. Presto is leaving everything, this maze, this school, Canterlot, and... and you.” “When will you get back?” Bluebelle asked. “That’s the thing... Presto... I mean... I won’t be coming back.” His last words were nearly a whisper. “I’m... I’m sorry.” Bluebelle stepped towards Presto with tears in hear eyes. His words had hurt her; her only friend, Presto, was leaving, possibly forever. She reached out to him with her forelegs, desiring to embrace him so he wouldn’t leave her side. Presto couldn’t bear to meet his friend’s eyes, so with a quick 180 degree pivot, he ran, leaving a puff of smoke behind him. “--And we never saw each other again. Things only got worse from there. I was angry at my uncle for a long time. I blamed him for not doing anything. I still do. On top of that my parents didn’t even talk to me unless it would get them some leverage over the other. Our house was never quiet. If my mother wasn’t shouting at my father, he was shouting at her. Prince Solaris went on to get himself a personal student. Sometimes I would try to play with Solaris, like Presto and I used to, in order to feel liked in the only place I had left, but he would always have an excuse to avoid me. His ‘prodigy’ was more important to him than I was. I just wish... I just wish I could see Presto again.” Spear was silent, listening as Bluebelle poured out the secrets of her heart in front of her. “Had Bluebelle really been keeping all these things to herself?” she thought. “Ever since then I’ve felt lost, lost in a world that I used to know. I know that change is a part of life, but life seems determined that I should not find true happiness. I lost my only friend, and them my life fell apart. I hardly know who I am anymore. My special talent may be navigation, but I cannot find my way out of my own misery.” Spear finally decided to speak. “Wow. I don’t know what to say. I... I never knew. I don’t know what I could do to help you through these troubles, but I’m glad that Solaris granted me the opportunity to try.” Bluebelle’s ears perked up in surprise. She smiled bemusedly then began to chuckle to herself. “Are you serious?” she asked semi-sarcastically. “You, a mere commoner, help me, who has the very blood of Solaris flowing through her veins? If there is one thing that I learned from my tragic childhood, it is that dealing with commoners is never a pleasant experience; being friends with them is impossible. I may be forced by my uncle to spend time with you because he cannot be bothered to deal with me himself. I may have told you my life’s story because nopony else would listen and because I wasn’t thinking straight, but I shall never, EVER be your friend.” Bluebelle trotted back towards her tower, then remembering that she couldn’t enter it, changed course and headed back to Spear’s house, leaving the guard stunned at her reaction. The image faded in the mirror as Solaris relinquished the spell’s hold on the glass, and he turned to face Professor Mesmera. Solaris sighed and shook his head as he began to speak. “And I was just beginning to hope that she had grown out of her snobbishness. Well, back to what we were discussing when we were interrupted by news of Bluebelle’s disappearance. What did she tell you about the mirror that she broke?” Mesmera thought about it for a while before answering. “All she really said was that she thought she had seen somepony - or something - in the place where the reflection should be and then mirror shattered. I couldn’t really gather anything else from it other than that she wanted to know what it could have been.” “I thought so. That mirror is a portal based on the designs of Starswirl the Braided, from the time that she was one of my students. It is a means of dealing with some... diplomats from places outside my rule. I think that you should help Bluebelle to fix the spell. It would be a good chance for her to see that she isn’t as important as she thinks.” “Whatever you say sir. When should I expect her to be sent my way?” “In a few weeks. I’d like to give her a chance to reform a bit more, otherwise you might not be able to put up with her long enough to get anything done.” Mesmera chuckled. “You’re more right than you know. I should be going now so I don’t oversleep and miss teaching tomorrow's lesson. Goodnight Solaris” “Good night my little pony.”
Chapter 4View OnlineRoyal PainsChapter 4Chapter 4 Blueblood rolled away from yet another attack from one of his three assailants before intercepting a spear that was hurled at the center of his body. He then telekineticly reflected it back to its owner. One down. Another one of the two disengaged from their combat with Lance and took a swipe at Blueblood with a sword. The prince dodged the attack and used his magic to bind the legs of the swordpony. Two down. Unbeknownst to Blueblood or Lance there was a third swordpony attacking from behind with enough force to sever the prince’s spine. “Enough!” shouted Sarge. The assailants’ weapons fell to to the ground with a clatter after being a hairs’ breadth from Blueblood’s neck, and the unicorns’ magic was temporarily frozen by the power of the shout. Sarge walked over to the pony who had made the final attack. “How many times must I tell you Private Meadows. This is only practice fighting. The prince and Lance were not trying to kill you, nor are you to try to kill them. Report back to me after your dinner for punishment.” He then turned toward Blueblood. “And you.” Blueblood cowered in place, anticipating another shout from his superior officer. “Good job. You could make a fine soldier.” “I’m sorry! I’ll try better next time! I-- wait... good job?” “In the month that you’ve been here you have shown more promise than most of the normal recruits,” Sarge said. At this Blueblood felt a sudden surge of pride, though he pushed it down with reminders that he, as prince, was inherently better than anypony else. Besides, all this work made him dirty and sweaty. The prince did not want to be known as skilled if it actually meant having to DO anything. Sarge continued, “Though I wouldn’t expect you to have the sticktoitiveness to develop any skill that requires you to learn something.” Blueblood was not quite sure whether he should take offense at Sarge’s words or be elated at the prospect of avoiding more exercises. He went with the latter option and said, “Thank you, sir.” “Come on, Blueblood,” Lance said after Blueblood had formally resigned from the Royal Equestrian Army. “Let’s go get dinner and maybe make some plans for tomorrow. Do you have anywhere that you want to go?” “Well... there is this one place for which I have had a craving recently... The Upper Crust.” Lance was a bit surprised. “Are you sure about that? I hear that it’s awfully expensive.” “Of course! I will have only the best, and anyhoof, I’m sure that my auntie will take care of the bill. I have no bits, and she wouldn’t force you to pay, I’m sure” “Well if you’re sure, then I’m okay with it.” The Upper Crust was one of the most exclusive establishments in Canterlot. The architecture was modeled after the Sun and Moon temples of Equestrian antiquity, white marble with intricately decorated columns around the structure. Ivy grew up these columns and branched out under the pediment, which was inscribed with the words “Blessed is he who offers foods pleasing to the goddesses.” The golden doors led to a lobby that held an art collection rivaling any Equestrian museum. Most of the art consisted of portraits of Celestia and Luna, but occasionally would display a marble carving of some exotic specialty dish. The eating area was covered by a large round dome which was magically enhanced to look like either the day or night sky. Besides the magical ceiling, the only lighting in the restaurant was provided by candles and oil lamps, as the management didn’t believe in “those fake electric knock offs.” The tables were varied from large and round for large groups to small two seaters for a more intimate occasion. During all working hours, the finest classical musicians in Canterlot would play music suited to the atmosphere. Lance and Prince Blueblood made it to the restaurant with time to spare. They were waiting to be seated when somepony behind them spoke up. “Blueblood? Is that you?” At the sound of his name Blueblood tensed up noticeably and ground his teeth together. “Why so it is! Good to see you again!” “Hello Fancypants. Fleur.” Fleur de Lis tossed her mane at this recognition, drawing the attention of many passing stallions, who were so entranced that they tripped, walked into tables, or received a well deserved scolding from their wives. One passerby had actually managed to do all three, much to his eternal chagrin. “What brings you here old chap?” Fancypants said with well mannered cheerfulness, casually parrying the stare of Blueblood. Lance picked up on Blueblood’s sour attitude better than Fancypants and quickly stepped between the two white coated unicorns to answer in Blueblood’s place. “We’re here for dinner” Fancypants looked at the pegasus with mild curiosity, “Oh! Blueblood, you have yet to introduce me to your friend.” Wisely not trusting the prince to answer, Lance once more spoke up. “I’m commander Lance, of the Royal Guard, and, while I tend not to pay much attention to the going-ons of the Canterlot elite save those of an expressly professional interest, I have heard much about you, one of the most influential ponies in the city, and Madame de Lis, who, I must say, is even more alluring in the flesh than on the news.” Fleur blushed at the compliment. “Well it is wonderful to make your acquaintance Commander. Say! How about you two join us for supper, my treat.” Lance, while not an “elite” himself, understood how these invitations should be handled. Therefore he responded with the normal pleasantries. “Oh, certainly a stallion such as yourself already has plans. We couldn’t possibly impose...” To which Fancypants predictably responded, “No no no, I insist. I can tell that you are an honorable pony Sir Lance and would be delighted if you were to join my dinner party.” Lance accepted the invitation, despite Blueblood’s obvious non-verbal objections. He also made a mental note to himself to ask Blueblood why he held such animosity towards Fancypants. “Wonderful! This way, we have seats in a private room near the orchestra.” After ordering their meals, Lance electing for a daffodil sandwich and dandelion salad of astonishing quality and price, Blueblood and Fancypants trying that day’s special, and Fleur simply having some celery and a glass of lemon water, Lance decided to take advantage of the situation and start a conversation. “So... Fancypants. All I know about you is what they say in the news and whatever gossip I hear while on duty in the palace. I’m not quite sure what to make of you. If you don’t mind could you tell me a bit about yourself? Fancypants looked delighted to have the chance to talk about himself, but it was markedly different than the eagerness Blueblood exhibited in similar situations. Blueblood was always modifying the story to make him seem better than he really was. Fancypants, on the other hoof, was constantly deferring credit to somepony else, all the while taking the blame for whatever went wrong. “... so after he had unsuccessfully tried to pick my pocket, I learned that Canterlot is filled with ponies who have to resort to thievery just to survive. This inspired me to organize a new charity for the betterment of Canterlot’s homeless.” Fancypants went on. “There is a slight shortage of ponies willing to donate help or money to the underprivileged classes” “Are there no prisons, are there no workhouses?” Blueblood muttered under his breath. “Yes! That is exactly what they said when I asked them for help. Anyway, with some help we won’t even need the prisons nor workhouses! What a wonderful world we can create if only we were to try.” Blueblood, seething, bit his tongue and resisted the urge to facehoof there and then. . . . Spear and Floriano had left the table to get some fresh air and chat and Pleated Skirt was trying to start a friendly conversation with Bluebelle when the princess finally snapped. “I have had enough!” Bluebelle shouted, standing up so roughly that she upset their drinks, “I’ve put up with your act for far too long. Always doing everything better than I could, dangling your accomplishments in front of me like a carrot in front of a donkey!” A voice spoke up, “I resent that remark!” Bluebelle ignored her. “Well I won’t put up with it any longer! From this day forth--” Pleated Skirt tried to save the situation. “Wait! Bluebelle, I never did anything like that!” “You know full well what I mean. ‘Oh, I’m so perfect. I help everypony, even when it’s none of my business or if they don’t even want my help, and nopony can do it as well as me.’ Stop the act, Pleats. You just love the chance to rub my failures in my face.” “Bluebelle... I never knew you felt that way. Is there any way I can make it up to you?” “Oh shut up.” Bluebelle replied, socking Pleated Skirt in the mouth with her front hoof. “...so by the time Prince Solaris arrived in Ponyville, the weird pink one had already lured the pests into the Everfree Forest,” Spear explained to Floriano. “We had to promptly leave to fix a similar infestation in Fillydelphia. I can’t complain that my first day on the job was boring by any stretch.” Floriano smiled politely at Spear’s anecdote as they walked from the terrace back to their table. “That’s rather fascinating. You must love your job at the...” “What?” Spear asked. “What’s going on?” Floriano pointed through the crowd that had spontaneously gathered around the two nobles. “Oh horseapples,” Spear muttered under her breath as they both dashed towards the center of the crowd, which was uttering rather ostentatious taunts and jeers such as “Brava!” and “Jolly good show, I say!” Through the numerous ponies that had collected around the action, Spear saw Bluebelle dodge a retaliatory strike from Pleated Skirt. Bluebelle utilized her military training as she grabbed a nearby wine bottle to club Pleated Skirt over the head. Spear leapt over the spectating ponies and tackled Bluebelle before she could telekinetically throw the bottle at her opponent. Bluebelle and Spear landed hard on the marble floor. Fortunately, Spear snapped out of her daze before the pugilistic princess. She quickly pulled out her badge and flashed it at the crowd of ponies. ”Commander Spear, Solar Guard. Nothing to see here. Back to your meals.” The mob of well dressed ponies either feeling threatened by the law or self-conscious about how foolish they must have looked, trotted off, nervously straightening their clothes or reaffixing their monocles. Spear glared at Bluebelle until she could be sure that she would stay put and not try to restart the fight. Once satisfied that there would be no funny business, the pegasus went over to Pleated Skirt. “Are you alright?” She asked. Pleated Skirt was already struggling to her hooves. “I think so. I only- Oof!” She fell to down. “Well...I may have sprained my leg.” Her gaze fell to the limb, twisted slightly to the side. “Or perhaps I may have broken it.” “Will you be able to get home on your own?” Spear asked. “Eventually. Unfortunately, my home is clear on the other side of Canterlot. We only came here because we were on the way back from the Wonderbolt derby. I don’t suppose I could...?” Pleated Skirt asked intently. “I suppose,” Spear replied hesitantly, “though Bluebelle is already using my guest room, and my apartment may still be too far. I wonder... I know! If you can make it to the castle, I’m sure Solaris will let you use one of the royal suites in Bluebelle’s tower. I think Bluebelle owes it to you after this episode. Right?” Spear turned around, expecting her companion to be sulking behind her, but she was long gone. . . . Blueblood’s anger still boiled inside him like a covered saucepan. He had fled the establishment as his initial anger and resentment evaporated. What remained seemed to be a mixture of guilt, shame, and embarrassment. He deserved it. It was all his fault. He-- “No!” he reminded himself. “Fancypants made a fool of me, along with Lance, true, but shame? Guilt? I am Blueblood! I am the royal prince of the lineage of the sun! I do not need to feel shame! I do not feel guilt! And woe to those who made me look like a fool!” Blueblood looked up into the night sky and laughed heartily. “Blueblood? What are you laughing at?” A familiar pony stared at him quizzically through his square rimmed glasses. “Oh! Professor Canteen... I mean Cantrip!” Blueblood corrected himself quickly. “Yes. That.” Blueblood mumbled to himself. Professor Cantrip pushed his glasses up on his nose and gave Blueblood one of his trademarked “If you step out of line again, you’ll wish you’ve never been born” stares. “Blueblood, I have an urgent matter that requires your attention immediately. It appears that there has been a development involving Celestia’s’ mirror that you broke, and I want you to come with me to help with the investigation.” “So,” Blueblood pried, “you want me to come back to the palace? As in, back home?” Professor Cantrip shook his head. “I only want you to come to the palace to investigate the mirror. It’s in the room to the right of the throne room. After that you shall leave and continue your punishment.” Blueblood swore and hung his head. “Fine. Lead on Pro-fess-or,” Blueblood said enunciating each syllable with mock respect. . . . “...As in, back home?” Bluebelle pried. Professor Mesmera shook her head. “I only want you to come to the palace to investigate the mirror. It’s in the room to the left of the throne room. After that you shall leave and continue your punishment.” Bluebelle swore and hung her head. “Fine. Lead on...” . . . Lance was furious. “That ungrateful bastard! Every time things don’t go his way he does something stupid! I have to go find him. My bits are on that he ran off to the castle to mope. Fleur?” “Yes?” “I think I should take Fancypants with me, we were planning on bringing him to the suite there anyway. I--” “Lance!?! You had better explain to me right now what just happened. This may have very well cost me my career if they trace it back to anypony I know.” “Octavia?” Lance replied surprisedly. “Could we deal with that later, I need to get Fancypants here to the castle, but he hurt one of his legs. Could you help me?” “D-d-did you say Fa-fancypants!?!” Octavia blurted out, quickly fixing her already pristine hair. “Um...yeah? Why are you all excited?” “Because he’s only the most important pony in all of Canterlot; that’s why! Oh, I do hope that I’m presentable.” Octavia hurried over to the nearest window to try and see her reflection. “Oh, don't worry Octy. It’s perfectly fine.” Lance said, brushing aside her nervous enthusiasm. “So, you are the lovely Lady Octavia,” Fancypants said as he smoothly snuck into the conversation. “I came here because I had heard that you were to be performing tonight with your ensemble, but I was sidetracked when I ran into Lance here and Blueblood, who seems to have developed quite a strong a right hook since we last met.” Fancypants rubbed the side of his face, which still stung. “I am honored to meet an earth pony of such musical talent. Even without magic you are still the pinnacle of talent among your peers.” Octavia looked flustered at the comment, “Why, thank you Fancypants. I don’t know if I am deserving of such high praise.” She paused, then smiled as she thought of a bright idea. “You know,” she said charmingly, “I’ve heard that you are one of the most respected and kind ponies in all of Canterlot. If someone like you were to, I don’t know, mention my playing as an aside during a conversation with your high class friends...” “Say no more Ms. Octavia, I would be happy to endorse your playing,” Fancypants replied with a grin. “Great! Can we go now?” Lance groaned. “Oh yeah.” Octavia said. “Let’s go.” Lance began to walk in the general direction of the palace when Fancypants stopped him. “Surely you don’t mean to walk all the way to the palace and put unnecessary wear on your hooves?” He turned to his companion, “Fleur, if you please.” Fleur de Lis trotted to the edge of the sidewalk and waved her hoof as if calling a taxi. Immediately, a stagecoach zipped in from a side street and stopped in front of her with the door already open and the coachpony asking her “How many in your party tonight Ms. de Lis?” Fleur, Fancypants, Octavia, and Lance, the latter two being rather embarrassed to be treated almost like royalty, sat in the posh seats of the coach in awkward silence as they swiftly rode to the castle. . . . “So, professor. What exactly does the spell in the mirror do?” Bluebelle asked as they walked through the castle gates. ”I presume it is some sort of advanced communications spell or some such thing.” “Well,” Professor Mesmera replied, “from what Solaris has told me, the spell is a bit more complex than that, but yes, that is the basic idea to it.” “If that is so, then why did I see the, um, me in it?” Bluebelle asked. “I know the spell did something with all the energy it took from me, not to mention the fact that it shattered the glass in the frame.” “I would suppose that would be because the spell had nothing to focus on besides itself,” Mesmera explained. “You basically used all your energy and got into trouble in order to make an out-of-focus mirror.” Bluebelle sighed and shook her head in despair. “All of that for nothing. Say, am I going to get in trouble for this?” “No. Turn left; we’re using this room here. I have permission to show you; I was actually going to do it tomorrow, but I saw you there alone and decided to do it now and get it out of the way.” The two unicorn mares entered a small room with an ornate mirror in the center. “This mirror has a match in the room to the right of the throne room. If this works then we should be able to see into an empty version of the room we’re in now, as the wings of the castle are mirror images of each other, as you should know.” “Very well. Let’s get started.” . . . With an ear-splitting screech the carriage pulled up in front of the castle. Lance jumped out first, swiftly followed by Octavia. They proceeded to help Fancy pants onto the ground. “Fleur, dear, why don’t you take the coach back home. I’ll be over sometime tomorrow if my leg is up to it.” Fancypants said to his marefriend. Fleur nodded and closed the door as the coach sped off again, less three passengers. Lance supported Fancypants on one side as Octavia held him up from the other. Lance nodded to the guard posted at the gate. “Excuse me private, have you seen if Blueblood went through here?” “Sir, he went to the right, sir,” replied the guard, somehow managing to stay as still as a statue while doing so. “Thank you. At ease soldier” The strange entourage slowly made their way down the corridor when Fancypants suddenly groaned and clutched at his head. “What’s wrong?” Octavia asked, beginning to panic, “If Fancypants goes and gets hurt with me like this my reputation will be ruined. Or what if he DIES! No-no-no-no--” “I’m-I’m fine, it’s just that there’s a very powerful magical aura in that room,” Fancypants explained. “Well I’m obligated to check it out, make sure it isn’t a threat,” Lance said worriedly. Lance pulled open the door slowly and was astonished by the scene before him. Blueblood was staring into a mirror more eagerly than usual, which, given his narcissism, is saying something. A professor from Canterlot Academy was focussing all his magic on the mirror. And-- Lance never got the chance to look at the scene in more detail, because Fancypants tripped over his bad leg, knocking Lance over and taking Octavia with them. They crashed into the professor just as the spell finished, the magical backlash further shooting them towards the mirror. Finally Blueblood was added to the rolling pile of ponies as they all flew through the space previously occupied by glass. . . . Solaris looked up as Celestia entered his throne room. “Well that worked out perfectly,” she said. “Yeah,” he agreed. “I didn’t even need to push them through. They got the needed momentum all by themselves.”
Chapter 5View OnlineRoyal PainsChapter 5Chapter 5 Bluebelle groaned and slowly began to open her eyes, but quickly realized that made things worse as the nearly blinding light stabbed at her brain. It felt like there was a porcupine fooling around in her head. The symptoms seemed to signify ‘hangover’ or possibly... “...mild concussion. She’ll live.” Spear went on and proceeded to check on the others. Mesmera was a bit bedazzled but quickly oriented herself and was about to scold Spear for crashing into her when she noticed something strange... something that may very well be the. Worst. POSSIBLE. THING! The mirror was gone; in fact, there was no evidence that it had ever existed. There was no pile of dust where it should have been. There was an appalling lack of magical residue, made worse by the fact that the mirror’s spell had almost completely exhausted her magical energy. There may have been just enough left to repair a broken bone or something of such a nature. “Hay! Professor!” Spear yelled. “Pleated Skirt over here has really messed up ankle. Do you suppose you could magic it better or something?” Of course she would... Mesmera sighed. “Sure. Let me see it... okay, just hold still.” The professor’s’ horn lit up, her magic’s glow enveloping the aristocrat's hoof and faster than you could say “pickle barrel,” Pleated Skirt’s ankle was mended. “So...” Spear asked. “What do you suppose we do now? What even happened?” Mesmera opened her mouth to try to answer the question, but was soon interrupted by a shout of “Halt! Who goes there?” Some Royal Guards poked their heads into the room to see Commander Spear, Pleated Skirt, Princess Bluebelle, and Professor Mesmera looking just as surprised as they were. The ponies that stood before them looked familiar, but different enough to justify only one action from a security perspective. “You’re all under arrest for trespassing in a restricted area of the Royal Palace. Get on the ground with your hooves in plain sight!” Spear exchanged looks with the rest of her party before trotting up to the ponies who were at the door. “What is the meaning of this?” “Ma'am, I’m going to have to ask you to come with us.” “What!” Spear exclaimed. “I am a commanding officer in this army. You may be following orders, but you don’t have the authority to arrest me without a proper warrant. I order you to stop this nonsense immediately.” The guards looked a bit uneasy at this. The unicorn of the pair turned to his companion. “What do we do now?” The pegasus replied uncertainly, “I dunno... She might be legit; she certainly looks the part. Maybe we should ask Shining Armor.” Spear was now genuinely dumbfounded. “Who’s this Shining Armor? It sounds like somepony I should know, but I've never heard of him.” “Well, I suppose that settles it. You’re under arrest. No one in the army wouldn’t know the name of the captain of the guard.” “What! Are you saying Gleaming Shield was replaced by somepony that I’ve never even heard of? When did this happen?” Octavian spoke up, “Spear? I really think that we should, you know, get out of here.” Bluebelle looked up questioningly, “What’s going on?” Spear replied, “That is a very good question, but for now I’ve decided that our best option is to... you know... RUN!” The group ran out of the mirror room into the adjacent hallway, but were immediately met by another group of guards. They tried to double back, but found themselves surrounded. Spear looked around quickly for other means of escape, but to no avail. There were no windows or doors, nothing besides a few chandeliers hanging from the ceiling and a mysteriously placed bookshelf. They would have to fight their way out. “Bluebelle, crowd attack plan beta,” Spear called out. “Mesmera... improvise. Everyone else, get out of here!” There was a mad scramble as Pleated Skirt and Octavian tried to slip away while the guards were preoccupied with the other three ponies in their party. Two guards cut them off, and Pleated Skirt prepared to be tackled and hoofcuffed. Suddenly, the guards were hit in the head with telekinetically thrown books traveling over 100 miles per hour, easily knocking each of them out. “How about you fight a pony who can fight back?” Professor Mesmera said, hefting the entire bookshelf over her head. She threw the bookshelf in the general direction of the guards blocking her path, and books started flying in every direction. Bluebelle managed to throw a book at her attacker (albeit not quite at the velocity of Mesmera), and Spear landed a good right hook on a guard about to pin her down. They ran past the barricade of guards blocking their path, who were currently preoccupied by the books with which Professor Mesmera attacked them. “Forget the others,” one of the guards said. “Get the unicorn with the glasses. Princess Celestia said she was the priority.” The two dozen guards charged at Mesmera, tackled her, and managed to cuff her before she could counterattack. Commander Spear, Princess Bluebelle, Pleated Skirt, and Octavian all ran as fast as they could for the castle gate. There they were met by even more guards. “Stop in the name of Princess Celestia,” one of them said. “There’s no way we’re going to be able to fight them all,” Spear said. “Bluebelle, you’re going to have to teleport us out of here.” “But I’ve never teleported this many people before!” Bluebelle protested. “Well there’s no time like the present. Do it now!” Spear commanded. Bluebelle closed her eyes and envisioned the short distance on the other side of the closed castle door. “If it’s only a short distance I might be able to do it,” Bluebelle thought to hereself. As she cast the spell, focusing on each of the other ponies individually, she found that she wouldn’t have the strength to move everyone two inches let alone the 100 feet required for this teleport. Just as she started to give up, she felt support from another unicorn. She recognized the magical signature as belonging to Pleated Skirt, which was surprisingly powerful. She could do it. Bluebelle called out, “Ready, NOW!” The four ponies vanished before the guard’s eyes, and by the time they unlocked and opened the front gate, they were already too far ahead to chase down. “So what are we going to tell Celestia?” one of the guards asked. “I don’t know,” another one said. “But we better come up with a good excuse. I don’t want to live on the moon.” . . . “Let go of me! Do you know who I am!” Cantrip raged. “I’m the Professor of Magic at Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns! She’ll have your job for this!” The guards continued to escort him to the dungeons until a black coated unicorn mare trotted up. “Special order from the Prince. The prisoner is to be brought to her directly.” “But, we--” “DID I ASK YOU TO VOICE YOUR OPINION!” Sarge shouted “N-no sir, um, ma'am,” replied the unfortunate underling. “Good. Now, give me the prisoner.” she turned to the Professor, “Consider yourself lucky. You get to meet Solaris.” The way back to the castle was short and direct, giving Cantrip less time to think over what was going on. Had somepony somehow deposed Celestia and taken over the army without anypony knowing? If they had somehow traveled through a time portal, how far in the future were they? But if that was so, then why did no one seem to know who Princess Celestia and Shining Armor are? The only explanation could be...what? Cantrip was jolted out of his train of thought when they stopped in front of the giant doors leading to the throne room. Sarge opened it a crack and impatiently waved the professor into the room before closing it again and taking up her post outside. The room was occupied by two things of note. One was the majestic white Alicorn with flame colored mane and tail, wearing what seemed to be the same Solar regalia as Celestia, just larger. The other was unmistakably the mirror that had seemingly disappeared earlier. “Who are you? How did you get that mirror? And most importantly what have you done with Celestia?” The alicorn sighed. “I’m Prince Solaris, Lord Regent of the Sun and Diarch of Equestria along with my younger brother, Prince Artemis, recently freed by the Elements of Harmony, led by my personal protege. Also, I have a very ill behaved niece, in case you were wondering. As for the mirror, it’s mine. And in regards to your princess, I’ve done nothing. She is entirely out of my control, as are her little ponies, as long as they stay in the proper Equestria. So, Professor...um, I don’t believe I caught your name?” “Cantrip.” “Professor Cantrip, I suppose that makes sense. So, Professor Cantrip, I believe this will be easier to show you than explain.” Solaris walked over to the mirror and touched it with his horn, sending a familiar feeling pulse of magic through its wooden frame. “Ah! Tia! I see that you have found my professor as well. Would you ladies rather us join you or visa-versa?” Celestia’s voice spoke up. “Hmmm... Professor, what do you think?” Two ponies spoke in erie synchronicity “I think I’d rather know what’s going on. Who is tha-- Oh hell.” There were two matching thuds as the professors caught sight of their other selves and fainted. Celestia looked over to her counterpart. “I had hoped that they wouldn’t faint quite yet.” Solaris responded, ”Can you blame them, though? They just met themselves. Nopony reacts well the first time. Being the scientific types, I’m sure they’ll be glad to wake up without causing a paradox that unravels the space-time continuum.” . . . Blueblood and his companions made it out of the city without any more incidents, still somewhat dumbfounded at the turn of events. Octavia was quite upset, believing her career to be over and mumbling to herself about getting thrown in jail, or banished, or thrown in jail in the place she was banished to. While everypony else knew that this was quite ridiculous, the idea fixated itself in her mind and resisted all manner of dissuading by her companions. After all, even if the punishments weren’t that severe, they still had potentially every guard in Canterlot on their tails. Fancypants spoke up. “What are we going to do? At the very least we need a place to stay.” Surprisingly Blueblood was the first to respond. “I know a place. My auntie told about mines that were constructed all throughout this mountain by ponies searching for gems. Their greed drove them deep down into the earth, or so she said. Many miners were lost, and others found places sealed long ago, places not meant to be reached by ponykind.” “I’ve heard this story too,” Lance added. “Legend says that they released many monsters, the greatest of these, a creature from Tartaros of unbelievable power said to be made of fire, darkness, and shadow, perished at the hooves of Starswirl the Bearded, as he held his ground so that his friends could escape. A... Balrog or something, it was called.” “Well I used to visit near the openings when I was young, and I never saw anything like that at all,” Blueblood replied. “Either way the caves are not that far away, and the entrance locations are kept secret, so while they aren’t quite as... posh as I would like for a night’s stay in Canterlot, I suppose they’ll have to do.” . . . Celestia waited patiently as Solaris fetched some smelling salts for the two teachers. Waving the jar under their muzzles for a few seconds he stepped back and waited for it to take effect. The pair started to stirr. Groaning, they stretched and froze as their hooves touched. They slowly began to back away from each other, not yet daring to look. The two deities walked over to their respective subjects. Celestia spoke first. “Cantrip. Mesmera. Everything’s fine, I just need you to remember one rule of being polite, ‘ladies first’. If you follow that rule we won't have to worry about you two speaking in stereo.” Cantrip nodded to her, Mesmera took a deep breath and asked the question that was on both of their minds. “What’s going on!?! Who are they!?! WHAT HAVEN’T YOU TOLD ME!” “That’s exactly what I was going to say. Celestia, can you explain what’s happening?” Cantrip agreed. “Mesmera, that pony behind you is, well, he’s you.” Solaris said nonchalantly, in the vain hope that it would go over smoothly. Needless to say the soundproofing spells on the linked throne rooms was were thought out. The situation would not have been an easy one to explain to the guards to say the least. Celestia began to explain. “Remember that spell we told you to cast on the mirror? You were correct in thinking that it allowed travel between two locations. What we didn’t tell you, the reason why it took so much energy, was that the place it connects to is technically the same exact place, just in a different version of reality. This spell happens to take you to an almost exact duplicate of your home Equestria.” Solaris picked up the explanation. “The only real big difference is that in the other universe everypony is of the opposite gender, yet somehow everything works out even with that difference, but Celestia is me if I were a mare--” “--and Solaris is me if I were a stallion,” Celestia finished. “So that pony over there really is...” Mesmera began. “Yep.” Solaris replied. “Lovely. If you’ll excuse me I think that I’ll check into a mental hospital now,” Cantrip deadpanned. Mesmera fixed him with a glare. “You, er, I... whatever. That’s offensive.” She turned to Celestia. “I suppose I should get used to the idea of you being female, but why did you do this?” “We can tell that you set this up. You lied to, presumably, both of us about what was happening,” Cantrip added. “Well that’s actually why we had to get you,” Celestia began. “Despite what your friends may think, no guards were sent after anypony else, though Fancypants and Octavia--” “Who?” interjected Mesmera. “Pleated Skirt and Octavian,” Solaris answered. “--Though Fancypants and Octavia were not meant to get involved to begin with.” Celestia continued, ignoring the interruption, “The entire plan was take advantage of, well, let’s just call them ‘BB’, and their curiosity to, not so much punish them as to teach them about friendship and get them closer to the plights of the average pony.” “So why were we arrested if you knew what was going on the whole time?” Cantrip asked. “You’ve read the works of Starswirl the Bearded and the other great mages and scientists,” Solaris replied. “You two would have been able to figure out what was going on and return BB before she learns about friendship. And remember, we’re telling this all to you because we trust you. We have unwritten rules about which ponies can know about this magic. If everypony knew about it, not even we know what would happen.” Celestia broke the intense silence that had fallen across the room as the professors dealt with the idea of possessing knowledge that could topple the thrones of multiple worlds. “The stage is set, the actors ready. So... should I get some popcorn as we watch the show?” . . . Bluebelle found the cave entrance after about half an hour of searching. Pleated Skirt had finally managed to get Octavian to stop fretting when Spear pulled her to the side. “What do you think we should do? It’s like everypony we know suddenly doesn’t recognize us. Everything’s different.” “Well you can’t be sure--” Pleated Skirt began before getting cut off. “Firstly, they were talking about some strange ‘Shining Armor’ character, and all that other stuff about not knowing who we are, but have you seen even ONE familiar face?” Spear asked rhetorically. “I mean, I’m a commanding officer for the Royal Guard. Isn’t it strange that I don’t recognize a single one of my subordinates? We need to find a place to stay, and somepony who we can trust to try to figure this out. Do you think your coltfriend could be of any help?” “Oh, you mean Floriano? It-it’s a bit complicated.” “What do you mean?” “We can hardly stand each other. I mean we dated once, but he’s just so shallow. I can hardly have a conversation with him, and he thinks I’m too generous with my money and too nice to the poor in Equestria. The only reason we even pretend to be in a relationship is because it’s good for his publicity and most of the stallions that are interested in me just want my money and fame. At least he leaves me alone when we’re in private. Besides, if he didn’t go through the portal with us, then I doubt he’ll recognize me, if he exists at all.” “Well then where can we go?” Spear asked. “Octavian, do you know a place we can go? Does that Record Scrape have a place?” “No, he has a small apartment with only enough room for one pony aside from himself.” “Well we’re sunk then. We can’t go to my place and we most certainly are not going to try the castle,” Spear said dejectedly. “I have a place we could try.” Bluebelle spoke up quietly. “I... I knew somepony that I’ve been meaning to see; his name’s Presto. I think he’s in Trottingham now, but I’m not sure how long he’ll be there. We can trust him. He’s a very powerful unicorn. I think he can help us.” “Well, we’d better get some sleep. We’ve got a trip ahead of us.” Spear said. “Goodnight everypony.” A/N: you can contact both authors at pononymouspony@gmail.com comments are appreciated, and thank you all for your continuous support *brohoof*
