Luna... what have I done?
It was a mistake, it had to have been. What was I thinking? It's not like I'd been intoxicated... not in the traditional sense, at least. I'd never partake of the devil's nectar. A princess should never and therefore, could never do such a disgraceful thing. If it were in my control, I would never intentionally put myself in a position where I might make a fool of myself... so, why had I..?
As I laid in bed, I stared at the old photo resting on my nightstand. Unable to take my eyes off the picture, I slammed it's frame face down as soon as my imagination became... unbearable. A slender flame burned at the edge of my heart, one I couldn't extinguish no matter how hard I tried.
With a sigh I covered my eyes with a foreleg. Luna... I couldn't stop thinking about her. Just what had changed I could not say, but without warning, the fire inside of me had spread into a burning passion.
It mattered little, we could never be. No matter how I felt, we simply could not. It was the very definition of taboo. In spite of the fact that we'd been together for countless centuries... In spite of the fact that we would spend the rest of our lives together, we...
With an agitated huff I threw myself off my bed, stomping over to the balcony. It was her time, a soothingly comfortable fall night that was as refreshing as it was cozy. Staring up at her ivory jewel drew a smile to my face, if only for a moment, before my mind drifted to less than pure thoughts. I took a seat on the chair I had placed outside to help give me a peaceful area to ponder royal issues.
How I wished I had one of those to ruminate on right now, perhaps it would take my attention off of... Like a butterfly, my mind chaotically flitted around the thought of her. It seemed there would be no respite for me. I had to do something, to say something to her, but what?
My dearest sister, I think we sh... I want y... I'm in lo... Foolishness Celestia... utter foolishness. Like the most priceless jewels to a thief, I was already wrapped around her hoof. I had to have...
I trudged back inside my room, doing my best to ignore any and every thought that came to my mind. I threw myself right back onto my bed, crawling underneath the covers as I cursed the day I was created. Perhaps a decent night's rest would help me recover my composure.
It did not.
The dreams I had... the passion they stirred. From her lips to her tongue... I tried to fight, tried to resist...
I could not.
Even if it was something that I could not permit, the flames in my heart jumped higher still. I prayed my sister did not visit me that restless night.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Celestia... do you feel the same?
Each moment that passed I found it harder to restrain myself. After she had... done what she had... or was it I who..? Irrelevant. Everything had become so much more complicated after that... debacle. I could not say I hated it. On the contrary, I...
I have always loved Tia... have always held her in the highest regard, but recently... recently, I began to develop... peculiar feelings. Celestia had always been absolutely stunning. Any stallion... honestly, any creature, be they male or female, would sing praises of the Princess of the Sun's beauty. All knew the stories of my sister's allure to be true and I was not immune to her appeal.
Yesterday she... or I? Could it really have been mutual? I do not know, as I said previously, it was irrelevant. What had happened weighed heavily on my mind and my heart. Again, I loved Tia, but this was... I could not be sure exactly what it was, but if it was a different kind of love, even if it was unsavory... I wanted to wear it on my sleeve.
I wanted more from her. I already had her love. I would always have it, as she would have my own, but I desired more... I desired her. The "strange feeling" that had developed inside of me had out of nowhere transformed into an unbearable longing.
Why had she avoided me? Did she regret it? Did she fear the truth? Did she want exactly what I did, but refused to confront that desire? It was all so confusing and made me feel sick to my stomach. Whatever was going on, I was certain of one thing.
I had to see her this very moment, I had to speak with her, even if she wished to hide away from me. It was already so late in my night, but we had to speak... we had to resolve this issue immediately or risk it blowing out of proportion.
As I entered the dream realm my heart pounded at the prospect of entering her private thoughts. In general, I merely made sure that she was having a pleasant night, nothing more, but tonight...
Celestia, what are you..? This was not right. Her dream, it was.... I drew closer, my pulse racing as I peeked within her innermost private sanctuary.
T- Tia..? I withdrew, from her dream, from the realm itself, from my very spot atop Canterlot Castle where I performed my duty every night. I raced to my quarters, my heart throbbing as my entire body burned like the fiercest flame.
I jumped onto my bed, covering my head with a soft pillow in an attempt to hide from what I had witnessed. Such raw unadulterated passion... such... Was that really how she felt? If it was, then... we could not... could we? Could... we?
Since my great failure I vowed to follow my sister to the end of forever, but this? I never fathomed either of us could feel this way, and yet... yet right now, at the present moment, if our hearts were to go astray, if they really did strive against the expected, the accepted... I would be relieved.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Celestia... this is not okay.
I stood lifelessly in the freezing cold downpour of water, my head hanging low as the liquid cleaned my body, but not my tainted soul. The early shower was frigid, a desperate attempt to distract myself from the despicable dream I'd had last night...
It was despicable... wasn't it? Surely it had all been nothing but abhorrent lust... So why did it not feel like that? Why did it feel... real? Comforting? Right? Why did I want it to be true so badly? Why did I...
I couldn't let these impure thoughts distract me. I had responsibilities, I could not waste my time longing to feel her embrace... her tenderness.
I left the freezing shower, drying myself off with a towel as I got ready to begin my long day of work. I had to focus, had to be a princess. I finished dressing in my royal attire, the last thing I had yet to put on held tightly in my hooves.
As I looked down at the crown I began to tremble. A dream like that was simply what it had been, a fantasy. It could never come again, I had to make sure of that. There was no possibility in reality that such a relationship could ever be...
But as I stared down at the symbol of my reign I realized something. No matter what my obligations were, no matter how long I remained a monarch along with my sister, I would want what I wanted.
Lulu... I had to go to her, had to see her. If we were to touch, if we ever made the decision to... I knew we'd never be able to go back... and that was just fine, because... because she was everything in the world to me.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Celestia...
I woke to the oddest thing, my tears falling freely down my face. Whether they were from anxiety or from joy, I could not say. I generally did not wake so early, but I had been stirred by a gentle knock at my door. I hopped out of bed, a bit tired, but no worse for wear as I trotted over to the door to open it.
"And just who, pray tell, would have the gall to wake the Princess of the Night at such an ungodly ho-" my eyes nearly bugged straight out of their sockets when I saw who awaited me at the door.
"Good morning, Luna." She was here, right in front of me with no hint of discomfort or reservation.
"Sister..." my cheeks flared crimson, the memory of what I'd witnessed last night flooding my mind, yet I could not look away from her. "What is it, Tia, forgive my impertinence... as well as my lack of appropriate appearance."
"We have to talk, Luna," she stared down at me, the mask she bore betraying none of her intentions.
"Of course, come in, sister," I moved out of the way as I allowed her entrance to my quarters. She refused to budge.
"I'd... rather not, Luna," she frowned.
"Um, very well... did you-"
"Luna... what happened the other night... when I ki-"
"We," I corrected her.
"Hm?" she tilted her head, a look of confusion overtaking her features.
"When we, Celestia, 'twas..." I took a fearful breath. "'twas not merely your decision, I too..."
"I cannot claim I look on it with disdain, Luna," she did not smile, did not flinch at her declaration. "However, I can't say for sure that it wasn't a mistake."
"Tia?" So she did feel the same. Was she willing to... try? No, we could not. It was taboo, it was... wrong... Please, Tia! Tell me it was wrong.
"I dreamt of you last night, Luna," she remained vigilant, her eyes never leaving mine. "It was-'
"Celestia..." I interrupted her. "I... I saw." I am certain I could not become any more red than I was at that very moment. Her complexion became a mirror of my own, though she still maintained the composure of a royal, if only for a moment.
"Wh- wha..." A stutter? A rare occurrence for her. "What say you then... sister?" Had her jaw just quivered?
I had no idea how to reply and so I simply stared back at my beloved sister. What did I feel? Did it even matter? It was forbidden... was it not? We were sisters... perhaps not by blood, but still, the fact remained that we were family... right?
Regardless of my rationalizations, my feelings would not be denied. No matter how hard I tried to fight them, to bury them deep down inside myself, they would come crawling back up to the surface like the most stubborn of sicknesses.
The correct thing to do would be to stamp them out now, destroy them so there was no chance they could ever bubble back up. Even if that was furthest from what I wanted... Even if all I desired was... I took a hesitant breath before speaking.
"Sister..." I chose not to speak the truth, instead deciding to deceive the one who had shown me the greatest heights of kindness and love. It was for the best after all, or so I lied to myself. "While I am... flattered, would you not agree that it is wr-"
"Right, Luna," her expression did not change, but I thought I detected a hint of sadness in her. "you're right... forgive me for bothering you, Sister." Without another word she turned and began to leave, my heart aching all the while. This was not what I wanted.
"I'm sorry, Tia," my head drooped along with the rest of my body.
"It's alright, Luna," she said as she continued on her way. Were those... tears I heard in her voice? More than anything in that moment, I wanted to embrace her, to Tartarus with the repercussions.
"Tia?" my voice was dripping with uncertainty. I wanted her to come back. I wanted her to stay with me. I wanted her to tell me that she didn't think it had been a mistake. I wanted to be told what I wanted was okay.
"Yes, Luna?" She had stopped, turning her head to look at me, awaiting my next words. She was so very beautiful.
I wanted her to kiss me, I wanted to be remade, to be her's and for her to be mine. I wanted to drown in the moment of captivation that we had shared the other night once again. I...
I was drawn to her like a magnet, the attraction I felt undeniable. I knew for a fact that even if we were to separate now we would find our way to one another again. There was no point in fighting it, no point in trying to stay apart.
"Would you," I offered her a hopeful smile. "Would you like to join me... within my chambers?" It only took one second for her lips to slowly lift into the purest smile I had ever witnessed. She turned my way, walking back to me. My heart fluttered.
That night... that unassuming night that for whatever reason we could no longer conceal our true desires for one another had already sealed our fate. We had first felt each other's touch then, we could never go back to the way things had been... and I think... I truly believe, that that was fine... because she was everything in the world to me.
Author's Note
Inspired by:
Also this is part of my TEINTE reality so if you want exposition on what Luna and Celestia actually are... Uh best to look there.)
