Twilight Sparkle VS The Piano
The Sun outside seeks it's way in, lighting up the humble library. Birds chirp away outside and hoof steps can be heard outside as morning rush sets in. for twilight however, it's just another day of studying friendship. She is interrupted from her studies as Spike burps out a letter. it rolls over on the table. "Hmm? I wonder what the princess has for me today." Twilight puts away her Spike Mail Machine 9000™ in the basket and opens up the letter, reading it.
Dear, Faithful Student
I and Princess Luna after much consultation and bated discussion has decided that you should pursue other studies aside from friendship. Your new studies will start with learning The Piano. After your experimentation please send a report detailing your experience.
Sincerely, The Princess Of The Sun.
=A Grand Piano was included with this letter=
Twilight raises an eye brow at the last sentence of the letter. "A grand piano was... included?" Spike can be seen gagging before he explodes like a balloon. Leaving behind a piano where spike originally was. Twilight blinks, being taken it back from the explosion of her mail machine. She sigh before shrugging to herself. "I'll just buy a new one next time I go to canterlot." Twilight sweeps up the rubbery mess leaving the piano spotless. She magics away the broom and sets her eyes back on the piano.
Twilight uses her magic to place the piano in the corner of the room. She sits down on the chair and looks down at the keys of the piano. She takes a deep breath in and muttered to herself "well, I should get started. I Don't want to disappoint the princess afterall!" Twilight places her hooves on the keys of the piano, ready to play the instrument. Twilight realises she doesn't have a clue on where to start. "umm... How do pianists even start playing again?"
Twilight taps her chin in thought. "Wait... Of course! I need a music sheet! Silly twilight..." Twilight teleports in a book containing some music sheets. She sets it down on the dedicated stand for music sheets on the piano and flips open to random page. "Okay... Let's start!" She stares at the random nonsensical symbols on the paper. Her eyes trying to decipher the mysterious meaning behind them. "How... Does anyone read this?! This is a different language!" Twilight flips it upside down to see if it makes more sense. When that didn't work she turned herself upside down instead. It still didn't work. "Ugh! How do I even start?!"
Twilight puffs up her cheeks in annoyance. As if her pouting is gonna make it magically make more sense to her musically untrained brain. Twilight sighed as the pages still didn't make sense to her. She threw the book into her "rubbish books to review a zero on yelp" pile without a second thought. "Who needs that book?! I'll just follow my gut." Twilight at last set her hooves on the piano. This time with the full intention of playing it.
She pushes her hoof down and a cacophony of sounds played. Twilight jumps in suprise. "What in the name of cheese balls was that?!" Twilight looks down and presses again this time watching the keys. Twilight's fat glutinous hoof pushed down on all three keys at once. "I think I'm supposed to press only one..." Twilight tries to turn her hoof in an awkward way to try and press only one key. The odd rotation caused a sprain in her hoof. "Ow! Ow! Ow! Bad idea!" She swatted her hooves in pain on the piano, producing a horrid amalgam of sounds from the piano. "Why can't anything be easy for once?!" Twilight sits upright and gathers up all her willpower to play the piano again when her chair immediately collapses under her. Twilight yelps in suprise as her butt meets the floor at impressive speeds. "Oww.... Is the universe out to get me? First this piano, then my chair. I swear this is being orchestrated by somepony..."
Meanwhile in canterlot castle. If one were to look close enough they can observe the goddesses of the sun and moon laughing their ass off. Both celestial sisters watching twilight's struggle via a scrying ball. Luna collapses on the floor giggling like a little filly when she sees twilight fall on her haunches. Celestia's cheeks are puffed out and her face turns multiple shades of purples and blues as she tries to hold back her laughter. But even the goddess on the sun fell over in defeat as the urge to laugh overcomes her.
Celestia says between her laughing fits "you know, Lulu. We should collaborate in pranks more often. This was amazing!" Luna finally comes to her senses as her laughter dies out. "Yes. We must agree, Tia. Next one on our list shall be the mighty discord himself!" Luna said in a bright smile and booming voice. Celestia smiles as her laughter also fades away. "Agreed, sister. That rat had it coming when he stole my cake..."
While at the golden oaks library Twilight stares down at the piano after countless attempts. Her ears steaming like a kettle as her face goes red in anger. "You useless excuse for an instrument! How does anyone play you?!" The piano says nothing. Yet every second of it's silence feels like it's taunting her. Twilight feels all common sense leave her mind as anger takes over. Twilight's eyes turn blank as her mane turns into flame. Her once lavender coat now blinding white. "I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU ACCURSED STRINGED INSTRUMENT. TODAY YOU AND YOUR KIND SHALL DIE!!" Twilight blasts the piano with all her might.
The blast hits the piano's extremely smooth surface and begins to ping pong around the room. Twilight's eyes track her own blast as it bounces everywhere before eventually hitting her own face. Leaving Twilight completely burnt and blackened. "YOU LITTLE PIECE OF MILK!" Twilight lunges forward at the piano trying to punch it but it's excellent craftsmanship only leaves twilight's hooves bruised.
Twilight is at this point, is angry, in literal flames, and tearing up from the pain in her hoof. She screams into the air in frustration. "I CAN'T LOSE! NOT LIKE THIS! AND DEFINITELY NOT TO A STINKING POO POO PIANO!!" Twilight grits her teeth. She Pulls out a baseball bat and starts running at the piano at full speed trying to break it. She raises her bat high up and slams it down on the piano. the bat breaks in two, the end of the bat flying up before bonking on twilight's head, knocking her out cold.
The room fills with a resounding "K.O" as Twilight falls over to the ground, groaning as she does so. Her pride thoroughly and utterly broken by the inanimate piano. The piano stands victorious. It's body unscathed. If it could, it would probably smile smugly. But unfortunately it doesn't have face to do that. So instead it simply walks out the door.
THE END
