Cozy's Inferno: a Journey through the Darkest Void

Cozy Glow
During my journey through life, I found myself in a dark forest, for the obvious way forward was lost. I remembered only fragments of my life before I ended up in this awful place, a place so horrid that it had to be worse than death. The only thing I remembered was that my name was…Cozy, and I was… no, used to be…a villain. I tried to take over my home realm on more than one occasion, the reasons why lost to me. But I remembered I had started a new life somewhere far away where I became someone important, someone the young ponies of the world could look up to, somewhere I wanted to get back to. I had no memory of how I ended up in this forest, except for a vague memory of taking a dagger to my back, were I dead? I couldn’t remember.

From the moment I got to that place, I felt cold to the bone, shivering as if I went out in a blizzard wearing no winter clothes and was dying from frostbite. Yet there was no snow or ice to be seen.

The forest was… As I already mentioned… Dark, but not the same kind of darkness I was used to seeing in the waking world, the darkness was somehow deeper, more oppressive. The forest was filled with thick winter trees and thorny bushes that made it hard to push ahead without scraping yourself on the thorns, for there was no obvious path forward. Birds did not sing within this forest, I could not even hear the buzzing of insects, but that didn’t mean it was completely silent. As I continued forward through the bushes that threatened to tear up my body with every step, I could hear a cold breeze moving between the vegetation and branches, intoning a melody of groans and creaks. Sometimes I could swear I heard laughter from among the trees, sinister laughter, seeming to come from nowhere in particular and everywhere around me all at once. Even without a clear direction, I continued forward, jumping at every shadow.

Eventually the forest with its thorny bushes gave way to a clearing, a shady pool was at the heart of the clearing and within the pool there was a mysterious white and blue flame burning beneath the surface.

I approached the pool to catch a glimpse of my reflection, I saw a pony with a soft pink coat, a light blue mane with beautiful locks and a pair of small, feathered wings. My form was that of a young filly, I can swear I looked younger than I actually was in the world outside this nightmare, it was the way I looked when I was turned into a statue after my second failed coup. Upon my head sat a golden crown reminiscent of the crown that Princess Twilight Sparkle used to wear, the Element of Magic. But trying as I might, I couldn’t remove the crown, it was like it was glued to my head. Upon my body there was rimfrost, like on a wagon in the cold morning, explaining the perpetual cold I was feeling. My own body seemed to exude this chill.

While part of me wanted to reside in this clearing forever, there was a voice in my head nagging me to press on. I listened to the inner voice and continued, a path not visible previously could now be seen on the other side of the clearing, thin and narrow as it was, it was still a path. As I was walking down this path, I could hear a howl from some kind of wild predator filling my heart with dread. As I continued forward, the darkness of the forest seemed to give way to a faint glimmer of sunlight overhead, the path leading to a shining hill, which could maybe provide a vantage point, the hill housing the ruins of some ancient civilization. Upon reaching this hill, I could see far and wide, the forest appeared to stretch in all directions, yet a mountain that appeared to reach an endless distance into the clouds above also became visible. There was a part of my heart but had a longing to reach this mountain. Yet before I could once again set off in its general direction general direction, three beasts appeared before me, surrounding the hill on all sides, making sure there was no escape.

The first beast, a blood-red shape that prowled amongst the ruins and the trees, keeping itself to the darkest shadows, two amber eyes appeared in the darkness, before it stepped out of the shadows revealing its true horrifying appearance. A panther whose body was endlessly trapped in a cycle of rot and regeneration, decaying down to the skeleton before building its body up again, repeating the cycle endlessly. The second beast was a golden lion that appeared before me, it’s roar breaking the silence, a golden sun shining behind it penetrating the darkness, its eyes looked at me with utmost scorn. The third beast, appearing to the right of me was a starving wolf, its body a walking carcass of exposed ribs and a visible blackened, wizened and slowly beating heart contained within the rib cage. The beasts were soon upon me, working together to mangle my body into pieces, the agony was excruciating as they slowly tore me apart, taking pleasure in every step of the way. The golden lion finished me off with a slash to my throat only when my limbs had each been chewed off by the panther and the wolf.

I thought that would be the end, but I soon found myself conscious, lying in a pool of water, right next to a source of glowing white and blue flame that somehow seemed to burn within the water. A fingered appendix reached down towards me within the surface of the water and grabbed my hoof, pulling me to the surface. I soon came face-to-face with a strange yet familiar-looking creature. It was bipedal, much like gem gnolls, yet hairless except for its long flowing mane, which were the color of fire, red and yellow, it was completely hairless, yet its skin was occasionally licked by white flames that seemed to come from within, much like the frost that now resided within me. The creature was wearing a set of white clothes, without a single stain. In the creature’s eyes there was a fire, like a green, emerald flame. One of the strange appendixes I would soon learn were called hands, was holding my hoof, the other a torch with a white and blue flame, the same as the fire within the pool. Despite her strange appearance, I instinctively recognized this creature, Sunset Shimmer. I proceeded to ask her a few questions:

“Sunset. Where are we? What am I doing here? And why do you look so strange?”

Sunset gave me a warm smile before she answered my questions:

“I guess whatever this place is, it recognized that I felt more at home in a human form than I do as a pony by this point. As for where we are, I have no idea, yet it seems familiar somehow. As for what you are doing here, as far as I know, you fell asleep one night and you wouldn’t wake up, like an ancient curse was cast upon you. I got worried so I decided to ask Twilight for a spell to enter your mind. There is something strange going on here, for this place is like a dream, yet it is not. There is something here, something that keeps you trapped in this purgatory.”

As Sunset said the word “purgatory”, I could see a light appeared on the other side of the clearing. The figure was bipedal like Sunset and appeared like it was made of pure light, with a set of wings sprouting from its back. The creature was androgynous in appearance, not clearly male nor female, it was more like it encapsulated the beauty of both masculine and feminine features. This creature was a glorious sight to behold.

“Purgatory indeed.” The creature spoke with a beautiful yet authoritative voice. I asked the creature who they were, what they were and what they were doing here. The creature tried to explain, but it was clear that they were trying to simplify some rather complicated concepts.

“I am Helel, one of the Malakhim, the spirits that helped to create the world under the guidance of the two Supreme Beings. There was a war between the two and I chose the wrong side, so I was cast out of my original realm to roam the places between forever. That’s where you are, the places between worlds, between dreams, the material worlds, the Void and the Empyrean. Colloquially this place is known as Purgatory.”

I couldn’t even begin to pretend to know what Helel was talking about, but it was clear they were a being of great power, even if they seem somehow diminished, like they were only a shadow of who they used to be. Sunset turned towards Helel and asked:

“So, what could’ve pulled my companion’s consciousness from dream and into Purgatory? We would like to return to the material plane from whence we came, do you know how to get there?”

Helel told her what they knew, even if it was not the answer she wanted to hear.

“It takes a great deal of power to pull a soul from the dream into purgatory, it’s usually the work of powerful entities, which usually has a purpose behind such an act. It has happened a few times before, but only a few. Yet rest assured, as your bodies aren’t yet dead you still have hope of being able to return. But the only way to get back is to the material world where your bodies still reside is to enter the Gates of Perdition and journey to the heart of the Void. It’s a dark and terrible journey, but it is your only hope. It is fortunate I myself has reasons to make this journey so I will do my best to protect you both.”

I asked Helel about going towards the mountain and the beasts that blocked me from journeying towards it. He told me interesting things about it.

“The beasts are manifestations of your own sins, fear, pride and avarice they are. As long as these things are within your soul, they will always be there to rip you to shreds. And even if you were to reach the mountain, it would be a pointless endeavor as the Loyalist Malakhim that guards the gates leading to this mountain would never let someone as burdened by sin as you are pass. No, the Malakhim still loyal to the one they called the Adjudicator tolerate only those whose spirits who they see as having the potential to reach perfection, something you do not have. Even those they deem worthy need to be purified through trials to be ready to enter the Empyrean. And even assuming you will enter the Empyrean, you will never return, as no soul who enters the Celestial Gates will ever return to the mortal planes.”

With that said I reluctantly agreed to travel to the Gates of Perdition, it was a foreboding name, yet if Helel was telling the truth, it would be our only way to return to whence we came. There was just one more thing I needed an answer to:

“So, I remember dying, those beasts killed me, why am I still here? I returned to life next to the light in the pool what is that?”

“You cannot die here, not really, not as long as you have hope. That is what the fire in the pool is: hope. I would suggest holding onto your hope, it is a rare commodity here. But remember this, for each horror that you witness, for each time you are slain, your hope will drain. Whatever you do, do not lose hope. If you were to ever lose hope during our journey, you would be forever trapped amongst the horrors of the Void, forever unable to escape. I have been trapped beyond the gates for a long time, the only reason I remain sane is the sliver of hope I still maintain within myself. Yet I don’t have it in abundance to the point I can project it onto a torch. I have never seen anything like it in fact. Just be wary Sunset, as that torch burns out, the only way you can fuel it is your own hope and once it runs out all of us would be forever trapped in the darkness.”

Helel pointed to the torch Sunset was carrying. Helel seemed more sincere about this than anything else, it was clear he put a lot of value on hope.

I talked to Sunset, we both agreed to let Helel take us to the gates. Helel took us in the opposite direction of the luminous hill where I had encountered the beasts, into the thickest part of the dark forest. We eventually came across the gate in what appeared to be an obsidian stone wall that stretched out as far as the eye could see, the door was made from a type of eroded dark metal. The sight of it reminded me of the gates of Tartarus back in my world, the design was very similar. But it was as if the Tartarus I knew was nothing more than a pale imitation of the original, which I was sure was this very gate. Upon this gate these words were etched:

“Through me the way to the city dolent, through me the way to eternal dole, through me the way among the people lost. Justice incited my sublime Creator; created me divine Omnipotence, the highest Wisdom and the primal Love. Before me there were no created things, only eternity and I eternal last, abandon all hope ye who enter here.”

I felt my heart turn to ice when I read, the words upon the door, they seemed familiar somehow, like approaching the gate evoked some kind of primeval fear. Sunset’s skin at first turned pure white, then a fierce rage came over her face, there was something about this inscription that didn’t sit right with her.

Yet the soft words of Helel beckoned us to step through the door, telling us that the only way out of this predicament was to go forward. Sunset questioned Helel about the inscription:

“I have heard of this place in my travels, yet I never thought I would be unfortunate enough to enter its premises while I was still alive. I am a Redeemer at heart, I believe that each person, no matter how wicked deserves to be given a second chance. To inflict suffering on another being because of a twisted idea of justice that demands the suffering of another creature to be satisfied, this is anathema to me and the goddess that I follow, primal love my flank. Tell me, who was the Creator of this place?”

Helel answered her, their voice echoing with both greif and rage.

“The Void has no creator, for it existed before all things, together with the Empyrean. When the Supreme Beings came out of the Empyrean, they created all things as we know them together with their Malakhim servants. But the Two Supreme Beings desired to stand above each other, so a civil war broke out among their followers. The victor in this war threw the losers out of the Empyrean and into the Void, fashioning this gate so that they could never escape. I found a way out, but it wasn’t easy, it took me eons to figure out.”

I decided to question Helel on the identities of the two Supreme Beings. For I was curious about their identities. Helel explained it to me the best he could:

“They are known by many names by different cultures and places, Epimetheus and Prometheus, Ahura Mazda and Angra Mainyu, but most often Yaldabaoth and Lucifer. Some see their battle as the battle between good and evil, I know better than this. The true conflict between the two deities is between order and chaos. Or let me rephrase this: perfection versus freedom. Yaldabaoth sought to create a perfect world without fault, but where no one has the freedom to disobey or make any choices for themselves. Lucifer never cared about this perfect order, preferring instead to let their creations figure things out for themselves, whether that led to good or evil. Lucifer imbued all living creatures with free will, meaning they would never be puppets to Yaldabaoth, no matter how hard they would try to bend the multiverse to their will. So, Yaldabaoth threw those who acted in ways contrary to their ideas of perfection beyond the Gates of Perdition to be consumed by the evil within themselves. The choice I had was always between being a perfect slave to order, or to fight to remain the person I am, even against the darkness of the Void. I made my choice, and while we might’ve lost, I still do not regret my choice.”

This was truly enlightening, though I still didn’t know enough about the situation to make a true judgment for myself, as Helel could be lying for all I knew, but it was clear Helel stood firm in their beliefs. Helel reminded me of Chrysalis, the only one of us in the trio who didn’t fold and beg for mercy as they were turned to stone but remained defiant to the end. I thought there was something truly admirable about people who believed so strongly in their cause that they were willing to face even the most awful fates rather than to cave in and become what their opposition wanted them to be.

Sunset was suddenly very resolute; I could hear a tinge of anger in her voice:

“I wouldn’t be the person that I am if I didn’t try to save at least some of the people beyond this gate, come now, I am ready.”

Against my better judgment, I opened the gates and stepped through them, they were ridiculously heavy, but it was possible for me to open them with the help of Sunset and Helel.

As we all stepped through the gate, the colossal doors closed behind us with thunderous inevitability, with no way to open the gates from this side, we were now trapped in this awful place. We were welcomed by a cacophony of despairing wails and moans.

As soon as I set my hooves on the other side of the gate, I immediately knew something was wrong, the atmosphere felt heavy, hopeless. It compelled me to only think the darkest of thoughts and my legs felt heavy. I thought of the orphanage where I was raised. I could see the ghostly figure of a pony right beside me, I remembered I once knew her from the orphanage, but I didn’t remember her name, it was a kid, a young filly with a grey coat and blonde mane, she was dressed in all white, her face decomposed, infested with maggots and her neck was crooked, like it was snapped in half. A rope was in a noose around her neck. The ghostly figure whispered to me: “this is all your fault”. I could swear I recognized this pony from somewhere in my past. As soon as blinked, she was gone.

Our surroundings were nearly entirely dark, only illuminated by the torch in Sunset’s hand and that’s only for 15 or so feet. The darkness felt unnatural, more oppressive than it should be, like it was swallowing all the light. It looked like we found ourselves in a gloomy marshland, I felt something crunch beneath my hooves, as I looked down, I could see that the ground was absolutely infested with bugs and worms. I screamed because I really hated bugs. Sunset patted my head to comfort me, it helped, but only a little. The buzzing sound from swarms of insects could be heard all around us. To think that this first step on the journey would be absolutely nothing to the horrors I would witness further down into the dark abyss. Where even the stars wouldn’t shine.