Late-Night Phone Call

There were few sounds that Sunset had grown to loathe more than the distinct noise a lock’s latch arm made as it impacted against the inside of a door frame. It was a sound that usually came as a surprise, heard when she had counted on passage and realized, much to her irritation, that there would be none of that.

It was early morning. Sunset had gone straight to the locker rooms, as she always did, yet the hallway was as far as she'd made it. Despite yanking on the girl’s locker room door with her full body weight, the door did not open. A few good pulls and pushes rattled the audibly latched lock, yet it did nothing to shake it out of place or unjam any potentially stuck mechanisms.

Growling harshly, Sunset marched the half dozen steps over to the boy’s locker room and gave the handle a hard yank, yet was met with the exact same noise. Locked.

Sunset checked her phone, pupils all but slicing grooves into the glass where her gaze raked across its surface to find the top of the screen: 5:46 AM, Friday. Not Thursday, Friday. It should be open today, yet here she was, in the hallway in front of a locker room that was distinctly not open.

This was frustrating enough, but what really had Sunset’s internal furnace belching smoke was that this was not the first time this had happened this week. Wednesday, too, had been just like this. She had been more willing to deal with it then, as flukes did occasionally happen, but this was twice in a row now that the doors to the locker rooms had been locked. There was no other time in the day that she’d have functionally unrestricted access to the showers here while also being completely free from prying eyes, or just people in general. It was the perfect setup for her, and she should be able to take advantage of it - should being the operative word.

It was not the biggest deal, in the grand scheme of things. There were other sinks she could brush her teeth in around the school, and while the showers were in significantly shorter supply, she did have ways to clean that didn’t require one, or even hot water of any description. This was simply the most convenient and pleasant way to do it. She could do without.

But that wasn’t the point. The point was this was her routine. This was something she had counted on, and had been counting on for quite some time, and she had been denied it for no discernible reason. Most would consider this a basic commodity at best, inferior and redundant at worst, but it was a luxury to Sunset, and one that she had no access to in any other way because of her living situation. Control and basic privileges had been stripped from her, completely without warning or cause, and the sting of injustice was infuriating. She had so little to her name as it was, and she was dirty, and it was going to be the weekend and she’d be dirty the entire week and she hated feeling like this because it was gross, and she was stiff, and she’d had a long walk in the cold to even get here and some relaxation would have been nice and she had just wanted a hot shower and couldn’t because some fucking idiot had started locking doors that had never been locked and she just wanted to be clean and there's no one she could talk to about this and she hated it and it was stupid and pointless and unfair and bullshit.

SLAM went Sunset’s sole against the door, delivered hard enough that it shoved her back into the narrow hallway till she bumped into the far wall. The cacophonous boom of crashing wood and rattling metal could be heard echoing into the adjacent hallways and reverberating in the spacious room beyond the threshold, yet passage to that space was no closer than it was before. It may as well have been a wall with a gender sign and a handle attached to it, for all the good it did her.

It had been less than ten minutes since Sunset walked in the building, and already everything had gone wrong. All she had to show for her morning so far was a backpack bulging with a towel and toiletries she couldn’t use, a head of hair getting greasier by the day, fuzzy-feeling teeth, a sense of normalcy compromised unexpectedly, a significantly elevated pulse, and a sore foot.

Sunset didn’t remember the storming back to the library. The next thing she knew, her back had impacted a bookshelf, and she slid her way down it to the floor with a slightly-too-hard impact with the carpeted floor. She shoved her backpack away from her as she curled her knees loosely to her chest, put her arms over them, then let her head fall forward till her forehead met her forearm, releasing a blistering breath that all but smelled of charcoal. Once upon a time it might have.

It was in times like these that Sunset felt a surge of bitterness rise up out of the ugliest parts of her in the form of resentment towards the human world itself. It wouldn’t allow magic to function, so her magic never had a chance to express itself through her when her emotions erupted like this. At least if she could physically steam, or literally smolder, or sometimes even spit actual embers whilst spouting off, she'd feel like her magic had her back, right there beside her and just as angry as she was - “arcane solidarity,” the sensation was called. For a caster naturally disposed towards such an emotionally-sensitive magic as the tradition of Fire, it could be very strong, sometimes even euphoric. It was a satisfaction that she missed, and often when she came down off her fury in its absence, the lack of the pyro high left her with a crash hard enough to leave a crater with no counterbalance.

Every time she lost her temper was another reminder that she had left a part of herself behind when she went through that portal. She swallowed it down well, most days, but sometimes it ached too much to ignore, or she was left too weak to weather it like she normally could. It felt like she’d lost a limb, and the reminders of its absence were everywhere, all around her, every day. Sometimes - like now - it got to her. An ashen tide came rolling in from the dark corners of her mind, and Sunset could do little more than watch it take her under as she began to drown.

Sunset missed magic. She missed her magic especially. She missed being able to take care of herself, and not having to sneak around to enjoy some of the most basic comforts she’d thrown away her rights to like a fool. She missed feeling safe and secure with her living conditions. She missed home. She missed feeling like a unicorn, or even just like a pony. Above all, though, what she missed most was feeling like her life was worth living.

"Sunset?"

It's not clear when Fluttershy appeared. Her voice was very close to Sunset, somewhere between her and the mouth of the aisle she had tucked herself into.

Sunset didn't move. Her head remained on her arms, face obscured.

There was a faint sound of fabric rubbing against the carpet. Fluttershy had gotten closer, yet the softening of her voice left it sounding just about the same. "Are you ok?"

Still Sunset didn't move. It took a few seconds to will up the energy to speak, and when she did finally croak out a response, her voice barely sounded like her own. "No."

More soft shuffling, much closer now. Fluttershy's presence felt directly beside her. "Would a hug make it better?"

Sunset meant to give a single, humorless laugh, but her throat was too tight and sticky-feeling to let the air up, so she ended up merely bobbing slightly with cynical intent. "Yeah, right around my neck. Hard as you can. Squeeze till I stop moving."

There was no response to this. Rather than words, there was a feeling of something touching Sunset's side, which pressed softly into her side. A gentle weight fell over her shoulders, ending in a dainty hand that held her delicately in place. Sunset curled her legs tighter to her chest. Her rib cage felt like it was trying to crush her heart completely, and her damp eyes prickled and stung against the aged leather they were being compressed against through her eyelids.

Sunset had nothing to say. Fluttershy didn't speak, either, not for a long time. No prying, no questioning, no noise, nothing. Just a soft, gentle presence there with Sunset. Touch and an aura of acceptance and care.

Hours and seconds swapped places. Sunset didn't think about much of anything; the smothering mountain of ash sitting atop her gave little opportunity for clarity, just a crushing depression that sucked all the color out of her body and made every breath feel like a marathon. She didn't want to move, didn’t want to think…didn’t want to be.

"Do you want me to get Rarity?"

The shaking of her head didn't take long. Speaking took much longer. "Don't want her to see me like this."

"She cares about you."

The words were so positive, yet somehow they felt like dull razors to Sunset. "She has enough problems."

The response was not immediate, though eventually Fluttershy let out an acquiescing, "Okay..." The touch against her side shifted, leaning a little more into her - a second weight of an arm came forward over Sunset's shoulders now. A soft hand rested against the far side of her head, while the weight of a head softly laying against her own was felt on the other. "Just don't forget, okay? She cares. I care."

Sunset didn't say anything. Her gut said to resist, but the ash was too heavy for even that. She leaned a little more into Fluttershy, who held her that much more closely. Fingers combed their way through Sunset’s hair as Fluttershy began to gently stroke her head where she held her.

It was such a soft energy she had. Tender - almost ethereally so - and warm, like a cloud made of love. Being held by her was like resting her head on heaven's doorstep.

It was nice. Fluttershy was nice. Everything about her felt good.

Time passed. How much was anyone's guess, but enough for the tears on Sunset's face behind her jacket's sleeves to start to dry of their own accord. At some point she lifted her head a little bit for the first time since sitting down, moving her arm to wipe at her eyes with the side of a loose fist before setting it back down again at an angle, so that she could look at Fluttershy. It was an angle, though not the best one - hunched down as she was and with Fluttershy sitting forward to hold her, most of what Sunset saw was her middle torso, and her lap with her legs folded beneath herself.

Sunset's eyes drifted about at random until they focused on something that stood out in that moment: a narrow strip of skin on Fluttershy, maybe a centimeter tall around her waist where her skirt stopped and her top pulled slightly up.

Completely on impulse, she mumbled, "I can see your belly."

The response was a soft squeak of an "eep" as Fluttershy pulled back to cover herself. It seemed to be a knee-jerk reaction, because most if not all of the urgency left her as she gently tugged down her shirt, giving a now weakly grinning Sunset the world's smallest frowny face.

It wasn't that funny. It wasn't funny at all, really, though Sunset found herself chuckling nonetheless. "Sorry."

"Mean..."

"If I said it's a cute belly, will that make it better?"

The way Fluttershy writhed in place, randomly moved her arms about as though trying to find what best angle to hold herself at, and then put her hands over her face to hide suggested "No" was the answer to that. Sunset found her face splitting into a much wider grin at the sight, her next apology broken up by the anemic chuckles that slipped from her.

It was such a small, simple interaction, yet it marked the moment when color started to slowly creep back into Sunset's world. The depression was still heavy, but motes of light were visible.

Eventually Fluttershy recovered, slipping over to Sunset's side again with a pout on her face. "Don't bully me...I'm trying to make you feel better."

"Bullying makes me feel better."

"Cruel..."

"Yep." Sunset angled her head so that it was vertical rather than horizontal, staring out across the aisle with a distant smile resting on her lips. "It's what I do. You should know by now."

Fluttershy crossed her arms with a tiny huff, pretending to be affronted in a very obvious way. "Well, if you want more hugs from me, you should be nicer."

Sunset hummed in faux-thought, gaze shifting to the side to look at Fluttershy, though not her face. Her eyes instinctively found her stomach. "I do like hugs..."

"Mine are only for nice people. Will you be nice to me?"

There was something clever to be had here, probably, but Sunset was far too drained to capitalize on it, and instead simply said, "Yeah."

This was more than enough for Fluttershy, who beamed happily and opened up her arms to put over Sunset. Sunset met her halfway, unraveling a bit from the ball she'd bunched herself up into to return the embrace. "Then I have hugs for you."

That sounded like a perfectly good way to spend a morning to Sunset. So she did.

Unfortunately, there wasn’t much time left at that point until classes began. They stayed like that for about as long as possible, but Fluttershy had to be on the opposite side of the building for her first period, which meant she needed to be the one to break away first.

Before she did, she made certain to ask: “Do you feel better?”

“Yeah.” Sunset offered as bright a smile as she could. A curtain of gray fog still hung over her, but it was nothing like what it was before. She was feeling drained and slightly melancholic, but in a much better mood. “Sorry for skipping out on breakfast.”

Fluttershy smiled and shook her head, catching one pink strand of hair as it fell out of place in front of her eyes. “It’s okay, there’ll be other times. I’m just happy I could help. If you’re ever feeling sad, don’t be afraid to let me know, okay? Even if, um, hugs don’t sound very good…”

“I’ll keep you in mind.” Not that she could think of a time where the touch of this beacon of good vibes sounded like a bad idea. “Now don't be late. I'll see you around.”

Fluttershy flashed a bright smile, waved goodbye as she backpedaled through the library entrance, and then scurried along on her way.

Sunset stepped into the hall after her, though she didn’t follow or leave herself. She loosely crossed her arms over her chest and watched Fluttershy make her way through the thinning crowd of students, looking on even after she passed around a corner and out of sight. She remained like that for a few minutes, lost in a haze of thoughts as she looked off at nothing.

It was odd how she never noticed how pleasant Fluttershy was to be around. You’d think she would have known to pay a little closer attention to someone like that. Sunset was no stranger to missed opportunities as of late, but this one stood out to her in that moment. It would have been nice to have a friend like Fluttershy a lot sooner.

Better late than never, I guess.

The warning bell chimed once, stirring Sunset from her thoughts and informing her that she was, given where she needed to be, already late. Sunset rolled her eyes with a weary sigh, then meandered back into the library to grab her bag and phone before making her own way to class with one more tardy on the pile.

As nice as it had been to spend an hour hugging one of the sweetest girls Sunset had ever met, her day never fully recovered from the emotional explosion that had started it. The inability to focus would be plaguing her well into the afternoon at the rate it seemed intent on going, and her whole day was made just a little bit more unpleasant by the persistent sensation of being in need of a cleaning. She found time to brush her teeth at one point, but the grease in her hair was enough to weigh it down and make it behave slightly differently than normal, as well as become a source of an additional thin film of oil on her already oily face that a wash cloth would only do so much to fix. She was a little embarrassed that Fluttershy had been touching her so much today, in hindsight. She hated being unwashed.

All in all, Sunset spent the day quite distracted. Her funk never quite went away, and if she wasn’t spacing out, she was busy trying to think of a solution to her problem that had put her in this funk in the first place.

The locker rooms being locked in the mornings was generally just really bad for Sunset. She had no way of knowing if that was going to be a new trend or not, and she couldn’t ask about it without revealing that she was going into the locker rooms that early in the first place - something she wasn’t certain she was strictly allowed to be doing or not. She definitely wasn’t supposed to be using both of them, however; her use of the boy’s locker room might be a candidate for why access was being cracked down on, assuming that was what was happening - stupid play, purely greed-based decision. Going after slightly higher water pressure in the wrong locker room like an idiot might have cost her the ability to bathe at school.

Sunset really didn’t want to use them after school hours, either. Sure, it’d be a lot more likely to be open because of extracurricular stuff, but that meant people would be more likely to see her doing it. She didn’t want to be known for using the school facilities as often as she used them. That invited too many questions…but she also needed to bathe. Being filthy for less than a week had already been annoying her, going weeks at a time would drive her mad. The stress from living like that was vastly more likely to kill her than the ‘no heat in winter’ thing, in her mind.

Sunset swerved in her thoughts to avoid that topic. Again.

As usual, Rarity seemed to know just when to reach out.

Rarity
❤
Today at 10:03 AM

Sunset smiled. She glanced up at the teacher’s desk and found the English teacher contending with one Trixie Lulamoon, who was currently attempting to convince him that emojis were a type of punctuation and that she shouldn’t be docked points for it. Great and Powerful she may be, but getting those points back on that paper she was not, given by how that seemed to be going.

You
❤
Today at 10:03 AM

Rarity
I heard you had a bad morning
Is everything ok?
Today at 10:03 AM

…right, Fluttershy and Rarity talked. Sunset had to recall that early on to arrest her own habitual attempt to unravel whatever conspiracy was afoot that gave her that information.

You
Yeah
Had a mood swing right when I got pissed off about something
Whole day feels sidewyas rn
Today at 10:03 AM

Rarity
That’s unfortunate
Anything I can do to help?
Today at 10:03 AM

"…hm."

Theoretically, yes. But getting to Rarity’s house in general had proven a monumental annoyance - at least, when trying to be as thorough and witness-free as she preferred to be. Rarity was fairly busy, and while she had proven more than happy to set time aside for her, the real nuisance that they both had taken great strides to keep out of the picture was Sweetie Belle. They both knew exactly how that was going to go, even if they did stay on their best behavior…which, at this point, they were not especially interested in.

You
Found a rocket silo we can dump your sister into yet?
Today at 10:04 AM

Rarity
Tragically not
I’m still keeping a lookout, do let me know if you come across anything
Today at 10:04 AM

You
Sucks
Today at 10:04 AM

Rarity
I know
If we could use your house this would be so much simpler
Today at 10:04 AM

Sunset sighed wistfully at that. If only…

You
I still think we need a nice like
Y’know
Meetup spot
Somewhere we won’t get seen
Today at 10:05 AM

Rarity
If it was warmer out we’d have more options
Side of the road isn’t sounding so bad half the time
Today at 10:05 AM

You
Or a Denny’s bathroom
Today at 10:05 AM

Rarity
I hate that I thought about that for a split second
Christ we aren’t that desperate, are we?
Today at 10:05 AM

You
Thereve been some nights where that sounded great
Today at 10:05 AM

Rarity
Same
Christ we are that desperate
Today at 10:05 AM

Sunset weighed whether she wanted to say what thought came to mind. She glanced about to ensure no one was terribly interested in looking this way, then typed:

You
I think we need to talk about like
What we want here
Today at 10:05 AM

Rarity
If I may be completely frank?
I think I want you
Today at 10:05 AM

…Sunset cracked a wide, warm grin at that.

You
I want you too
Been thinking about it a lot
Today at 10:06AM

Rarity
Same
I’m still scared of it I think
Today at 10:06 AM

You
Of sex?
Today at 10:06 AM

Rarity
Yes
Today at 10:06 AM

You
Not my first rodeo here
And you know I’ll take good care of you
Today at 10:06 AM

Rarity
I know
I trust you
But every time I start thinking seriously about engaging with it I lose my nerve
I keep going back on whether I want it or not
And I think I do?
I do right now anyway
It’s confusing
Today at 10:06 AM

Sunset went to respond, then flicked a glance up from her phone to the teacher’s desk as Trixie stormed back to her own desk. The line that had gathered would be done in a fraction of the time it had taken to deal with that one girl.

You
Is there anything I can do to help?
I want you to be comfortably
*comfortable
Today at 10:07 AM

Rarity didn’t respond for a time. Sunset continually glanced up at the front of the class, conscious of her window closing while something rather important was unfinished.

Rarity
I’m not sure
I need to think
Today at 10:08 AM

Unfortunate.

You
Anything you need, just let me know
Ngl I want this p bad but I want you to be ready more
Today at 10:08 AM

Rarity
Thank you for being so patient with me
I’m sorry I’m being difficult
I know this has to be frustrating
Today at 10:08 AM

It was. Sunset understood, and cared about Rarity a lot, but sometimes it was genuinely painful to have that last second backing out happen when she was ready for this weeks ago.

You
Don’t apologize for it
This is important
I don’t want you to have regrets
Today at 10:08 AM

Rarity
❤
Today at 10:08 AM

Sunset smiled, replying to the heart with one of her own. She was okay waiting for now…but boy was she hoping it was coming soon.

The conversation was cut there, as the teacher’s attention was no longer so divided. Just as well, as the topic didn’t go much further than that.

Sunset wished that she wasn’t frustrated with that whole thing. She’d love to have bottomless patience and be nothing but supportive like she was putting on the face for. She felt bad that she was frustrated, but she knew exactly what she wanted and it was to fuck that bombshell of a girl because Harmony above and below she was hot and clearly there was interest. In hindsight, there had been interest possibly going back as far as the beginning. This had been a temptation in the back of her head for months, and it was actually being discussed as something she could finally indulge in and she was really getting sick of this constant dodging around it. Waiting was getting painful, and that was without the zig-zagging.

And on the topic of other things that were painful: being dirty. Still no solution there, either…but speaking with Rarity had briefly touched on a topic that gave her an idea. She hated it, mind, but she also didn’t see a way around it, so with a bothered sigh, Sunset loitered in the hallway after English got out and, rather than be seen speaking directly to Fluttershy, she texted her.

You
So I have kind of a weird question if you’re cool with that
Today at 10:56 AM

The response wasn’t immediate, but she answered soon enough.

Fluttershy
It never hurts to ask ^^
Today at 10:56 AM

Wrong, but a nice sentiment.

…was she seriously about to ask this? Surely she had better options…but if she did, she couldn’t think of them.

Buck my life.

You
So I’m a little embarrassed to ask but at some point this weekend can I use your shower?
The hot water broke at my house and i can’t stand feeling dirty
I don’t really have other options rn
Today at 10:57 AM

Fluttershy
Um
I’d have to ask my parents
I think it would be ok
I’m not sure though
Today at 10:57 AM

You
If you don’t want me in your house or something don’t be afraid to say it, I’d find it sketch if it was me. It’s kinda weird
Today at 10:57 AM

Fluttershy
I don’t mind
And I don’t think it’s weird
Today at 10:57 AM

You
Just popping into someone else’s house to use their stuff is a little weird, won't lie
Today at 10:57 AM

Fluttershy
If it would make it less weird, we could make it a sleepover or something
Today at 10:57 AM

Sunset felt caution rearing its head to take stock of this. It was Fluttershy, but that didn't mean it didn't still sound like one of the Rainbooms trying to move in on her.

You
Would your parents be cool with that?
Today at 10:58 AM

Fluttershy
Probably
I’d have to ask but I think so
I know I wouldn’t mind you visiting ^^
I don’t have a lot of people over
Today at 10:58 AM

You
Idk
Never really did sleepovers before. Don't know if that's my scene
Today at 10:59 AM

Fluttershy
That's ok
You don’t have to stay overnigjt
I just thought it would be fun
I miss sleepovers with friends
Today at 10:59 AM

Sunset tapped her fingernail rhythmically against the case of her phone with a pensive stare at the screen. She had a fair bit she could say on the topic. As she went to do so, however, the warning bell chimed throughout the hallways of CHS, causing any students still lingering in the halls to scramble to get to their destination on time.

You
I’ll think about it
Today at 10:59 AM

And she did. Perhaps Ms. Harshwinny wouldn’t have appreciated having her class used for such things in lieu of, you know, paying attention to the lesson, but think about it she did.

She did have a few concerns. Sunset didn’t like relying on others, though if this was a one-off thing it would probably be fine. She didn’t know if it would be a one-off thing, though. There was no way to know if the locker rooms were going to be open in the mornings anymore.

Did it really matter, though? This was the closest thing to a solution that she had. She knew of no alternatives that didn’t sound like her quality of life irrevocably deteriorating. Did it really matter if it was good or not when it was this or nothing?

Sunset felt the depression cloying at the edges of her awareness again. She sighed, head hanging a bit as she came to terms with this. She had to wait for an opportunity to be excused for the bathroom, then texted along the way:

You
Thought about it. Idk about a sleepover yet but I guess visiting wouldn’t be so bad, if nothing else
Today at 11:16 AM

Fluttershy
Yay ^u^
Today at 11:16 AM

Somehow cute even over texts. Not sure how that works. Sunset chuckled under her breath as she shook her head to herself, sticking her phone into her pocket.

That would be the last of her texting for a while. Unbeknown to her, she'd forgotten to charge her phone that day, so she only made it to sundown with further texts and calls before the battery died and consigned her to a sensible bedtime for once.