Author's Note

Thanks so much for 1400 likes! That's an amazing milestone I never would've imagined passing back when I started the story.

It's been a year since I started this story already (wow, time flies), and I may be about 4 days late for the anniversary, but nonetheless, I think it's pretty neat. I can't see this story taking another whole year (or even half a year) to get to its conclusion, but you never know. Either way, I'm just happy it's made it this far, and I'm super excited for future prospects in this project and others.

But genuinely, thank you all for the support over the past year. I would've never gotten this far without all of you.

Love y'all

Also, obligatory link to the song this chapter is named after. Crywolf - DATURA [paroxysm]
Crywolf is severely underated.

\--WARNING: Depression, Disassociation, Panic Attack.--//

22 - Paroxysm

“Momma, where did Luna actually go?” The small griffin muttered down at Celestia from his perch atop the window of the train cabin. “She didn’t actually forget something.” He deduced with a sad huff.

Celestia wasn’t surprised that he had figured out something else had happened. She’d known how smart Aviri was for his age from the very day she found him. ”Hmm,” Celestia hummed as she rested her head on her hoof and gazed at him with an endearing smile. “Maybe she had a super secret surprise waiting for you?”

“Mom…” Aviri groaned, slowly backing his backside off of his perch while flapping his small wings. Celestia held out a wing as a safety net, but the clumsy little griffin still managed to clamber his way down onto the table on his own, where he gave Celestia a very scrutinizing look. “Tell me what the letter said! Please?”

Celestia sighed and lowered her head to his level. “You know that new cousin I told you about?” He nodded vigorously. “Well, he went missing this morning.” She explained it simply.

Aviri lowered his head. “Oh… Cadance, Flurry, and Shining are probably really sad, aren’t they?”

Celestia reached a hoof forward and ran it across the little griffin’s head, caressing his cheek as she sadly smiled, “Yes. But I think it still might pale in comparison to Kieran’s current pain.”

After a moment of stroking his cheek, Aviri looked determined as he stood and puffed his chest out. “We need to help find him!” He declared.

Celestia smirked and raised a brow. “Oh, is that right, dear?”

Aviri nodded quickly, placing his claws on Celestia’s hoof excitedly, his eyes practically sparkling with excitement. “It won’t feel like Hearth’s Warming if everyone isn’t there. We gotta help!”

Celestia released a short giggle, putting her muzzle against Aviri’s and rubbing her nose against his. “What a brave little hatchling you are.”

“Hehe,” Aviri shied away in excitement. “It’ll be easy with you helping momma.”

Suddenly the train whistled above them, and the train they were in came to a staggering halt. Celestia gazed out the window, a large smile appearing on her face as she nodded. “I think you’re right, Aviri.” She slowly stood up, stretching her wings and limbs alike, as she mirthfully giggled at Aviri’s confused face. “How would you like to visit some friends?”

Aviri bounded in place a few times, hopping back and forth, “Yeah! Let’s go!”

Celestia quickly scooped him up with her wings, settling him in his favorite spot atop her head, where he expertly balanced himself as he held onto her horn.

Celestia cast a quick spell on herself, appearing as a young unicorn mare with a white coat and pink hair. Aviri groaned, “Momma, this disguise is so bad… Anybody could figure it out.”

“Then why does it work every time I use it, hmm?” She quipped back with a small laugh.

Aviri hummed, “Because they’re too afraid to accuse you of disguising yourself!”

“Maybe they are, little one.” Celestia quickly replied, joining the crowd of ponies exiting the train. With little thought from others directed towards her, she was free to see her friends without making such an event of it. She exited the train and stepped onto the Ponyville station platform.

As they cantered into Ponyville, Aviri looked upside down from atop his mother’s head and asked, “Can we go to Sugarcube Corner? Please!”

She hummed as if she were thinking it over. “I think I could go for some sweets as well.”

I… I didn’t know what to think.

Well, I knew exactly what I was thinking.

But why, why was Honey Flitter here? Out of all places in Equestria, why in Celestia’s name was she across the dinner table from me!?

As she continued to greet Sage and Heath jovially, I froze, completely unable to process what I was seeing. I guess… all the names lined up, she definitely looked like part of the family, color-wise, and…

From what little Flitter told me, this all checked out.

“And this is Ashy?” Flitter said with a tilted head as she finally looked across the table.

I immediately suppressed a squeak as I tensed up even more, looking like a deer caught in headlights. I simply nodded my head in response to her inquiry.

Flitter pursed her lips and slightly raised an eyebrow at me, and then her eyes began to analyze me. I was in the beginning stages of what could be another panic attack as she looked me up and down.

But thankfully, Sage unknowingly came to my rescue. “Oh, yes, I’m sure you’ve heard the story already. How has training in the Crystal Empire gone? You don’t come to visit us nearly often enough!” Sage said with a slight bit of playful reprimand.

Flitter quickly fixed her eyes back on her and held her hooves up amicably. “Yes, you’re right. Sorry about that… It’s just that training was so draining, and my free time was very limited… I’m sure it’ll be more manageable when I get back though!”

At no longer being the center of her attention, I took a deep breath as I placed a hoof on my chest. But it really wasn’t helping; all it did was make me start breathing faster and more unevenly. The sudden shock mixed with all the unknown ponies around me, all conversing and moving.

It was very nerve-racking.

I felt something touch my side and jumped in my seat away from it, only to meet eyes with a worried and confused Rue as he furrowed his brow. “You okay?”

I forced a smile, while my body almost forced me to shake my head in disagreement, only causing more confusion for the little colt.

“So, Ashy, where ya from?” I heard Flitter ask me again from across the table.

I met her with wide, terrified eyes, amidst my growing panic attack and attempts to quell it. “O-Oh I…” I practically covered my mouth instantly with both hooves; if she was already suspicious of why I had the same hairstyle, then she might recognize me by voice instantly.

Sage and Heath looked confused and worried.

I had to get out of here at any cost. I couldn’t do this anymore.

I lowered my hooves and faked a hoarse voice to cover my actual voice: “I-I’m not feeling too good.” I said quickly as I jumped down from the seat.

With Rue, Ivy, their parents, Flitter, and a few other family members watching me, I felt even more terrified. Yet I suppressed my urge to run. Sage took a step after me and asked, “Do you feel sick, pumpkin?”

I nodded vigorously, “Y-Yes! Very sick… I… ugh.” I clutched my stomach with a single hoof as I continued to back away. “Sorry, I’m just going to… rest.” I said the final part with a clumsy nod as I turned and practically galloped away from the dining room.

I ran around the two corners and up the steps, not at all mindful of the pain in my leg, which was now absolutely pulsating in defiance. Once I got upstairs, I quickly found my temporary room, shutting the door behind me with my rump and slumping against it as I tried to suppress my breathing.

I held my breath, hoping without reason that I wouldn’t hear a single hoof going up those stairs. And thankfully, after a few minutes of panicked waiting, I deduced that my acting job had been sufficient.

It was then that my act of feeling sick didn't feel so much like an act anymore. Whether it was due to the awful nerves, the panic, or something else, I genuinely felt like hurling at that exact moment. I breathed deep, in and out multiple times, and thankfully managed to stop hyperventilating.

I sulked over to the bed I was stealing from Ivy and clumsily made my way up the small steps at the foot of the bed. I quickly buried myself in the array of pillows, curling up in a ball as I held my stomach with my hooves.

It’s already unfair enough that I’m potentially a wanted criminal. Or at least an escaped minion of necromancy.

But to torture me by having me be found by the one and only guard who could crack my disguise easily?

Why would she be here? It’s just so… coincidental. Why Heath’s family, and why my cabin on the train? It almost feels like…

I groaned to myself. “Discord..? Why.”

Whether I was making reactionary assumptions or was completely correct, nothing happened after I said those words, leaving me to my imagination. Though I swear I could almost hear his faint, crazed laughter in my head. Though it might’ve been my imagination.

Why would Discord do this anyway? To make it more entertaining for himself? I thought he didn’t want me to get caught…

I shook the idea of Discord out of my head, trying to rationalize a plan in my head—something to get me out of this whole mess. Flitter’s sudden appearance made everything harder. Not that I really had a plan for how to deal with things before she showed up.

If I snuck away, all that would cause is a pony hunt for me. Plus, I’d die just trying to make it back to town from all the way out here.

I could continue lying… But for how long?

I ruminated in my head for far too long, yet no matter which direction of thought I pursued, it all led back to the same single determination that I didn’t want to be true.

It was out of my hands…

“Pumpkin..?”

My head shot up, and I tensed again as the door creaked open. Sage carefully approached my bed as if I were a wild animal not to be disturbed. “How are you feeling?”

I buried my head again and huffed, “I’m fi-… I’ll be okay.”

Sage got close enough to the bed and sighed worriedly. “That’s just the same phrase but worded differently, dear.”

“You’re the one who said to stop using it…” I grumbled quietly to myself.

I felt her sit down on the bed and say, “Alright, front and center, let me check your temperature.”

Without any real way of escaping it, I sat up from the spot hesitantly, with my form slouched. Sage didn’t question it as she reached a hoof forward and placed it against my head. She held it there shortly before retracting it. “There’s something there, but it ain’t bad at all…” She muttered quietly, mostly to herself.

A knock was heard at the door, and I looked over to see Heath standing there, knocking. On his back sat some sort of small wooden table with a few things on top. He smiled at me and Sage, walking over and setting it down gently on the bed next to me. It was a small bed tray with a bowl of soup and a roll next to it, along with a glass of water.

I looked up in surprise at Heath as he chuckled, “It’s ma favorite when ah ain’t feelin’ well. Hopin’ it does ya some good.” He nodded at me.

A brief image of the night Cadance and Shining took me in flashed in my mind, and I surprisingly found myself blinking rapidly to quell any onset of tears. I nodded thankfully. “Thanks, Heath… It smells good.” He smiled before backing out of the room soon after.

I sat there in silence for a little while, just watching the steam waft off the soup. When Sage finally spoke, it was soft, almost inaudible if not for how quiet the room was. “Here… The slight fever you have should drop after taking these again.” Sage held out a couple of pills, the same ones I’d taken right after the doctor helped my wound.

I quickly took them, balancing them on my hooves before throwing them into my mouth and swallowing. Sage tilted her head. “No water?”

I just shook my head as my head continued to stare at the soup. I had to wait for it to cool off anyway; I couldn’t lift the delicate spoon placed in the bowl even if I wanted to.

“Are you upset about not making it home, dear? Maybe that made you nauseous?” Sage asked curiously as she watched me stare blankly at the food.

“Ashy… Is there anything… Anything at all that you want to tell me?” She paused to hum, “Even if you think I’d be upset to hear it, or… maybe even something that you’re scared to tell me… I’ll listen. Okay pumpkin?” She finished as she gently rubbed one of my shoulders.

I shook my head again, staying silent the whole time and not making eye contact.

Sage stayed there for another minute or two, probably hoping I’d open up, but she eventually relented as she carefully stood up. “Well… Please get some rest after you eat, dear; I think it will help a lot.” She paused halfway across the room to look back, but I’d not even budged. She sighed and made her way to the door.

“Thanks.” I said quietly as she reached the door. She turned, smiled, and gently closed the door on her way out.

As the carriage arrived closer and closer to the Crystal Empire, all Luna and Starlight could do was look down in shock. It wasn’t the worst destruction they’d seen, but it had been a long time since they’d seen something of this scale. One side of the castle was particularly sloughed off into ruins; multiple large buildings had large chunks that had crumbled away; and small buildings had been completely wiped from the streets.

The farther out you got from the castle, the less damage there was. From leveled houses to maybe a broken fence or two on the outer edges of the empire, of course, it was easy to look down and see nothing but awful disaster. But Luna could see more; she saw the same sights she’d seen on one particular day, a day filled with rage, jealousy, and resentment.

But knowing what had transpired, what the actual emotions Kieran would’ve been feeling…

The damage just looked like the breaking point of a neglected soul. It was as if every fiber of his being was crying out in protest and betrayal.

“Luna?” Starlight inquired, “We’re here.”

Luna was surprised when she snapped back, realizing they had already landed and she had merely been replaying the sights from above in her head over and over. She quickly stood from her seat, being the first to make her way out of the carriage that sat right in front of the doorway to the castle. Starlight quickly followed right behind.

“Princess Luna!” A guard remarked near the entrance while standing watch. He quickly opened the door behind him and ushered her in.

Luna wasted no time with formalities and trotted through the doors, with Starlight haphazardly and clumsily grabbing all their luggage. Once Luna entered the room, the entire makeshift hospital turned completely silent, all stopping to stare at her.

As with all guests so far, Moon Petal was the first to trot up and bow, “Princess! I can guide you to where you might need.”

Luna nodded down at her and said, “Thank you.”

“Um… excuse me.” Starlight said, trotting up quickly, “Would you happen to know where Sunburst is?”

Moon Petal nodded. “Yes, his mother was injured; they’re in a hospital near the park. Would you need a guide?”

Starlight shook her head and held her hoof up. "No, I know my way around. Thank you.”

Luna quickly looked back and down at Starlight and nodded. “Go ahead, Starlight. I will stay here and take care of things.”

Starlight slowly nodded but squinted her eyes analytically. “Remember what Twilight said, Luna.”

Luna had to hold in a scoff, “I will do things precisely as I see fit. But yes, I will not kill her.”

“Kill who!?” Moon Petal said in alarm.

Starlight nodded, quickly exiting out into the storm with a quick warming spell. Luna turned back swiftly. "Please, if you could, guide me to Flurry.”

Moon Petal smiled nervously. “Would you perhaps like to see Cadance? Or… Shining first?”

Luna raised her head and furrowed her brow, and Moon Petal quickly waved her hooves and said, “Right away, princess, follow me.”

The nurse quickly sped off, with Luna not far behind her, taking in the waves of destruction that rippled through the castle. There was almost a pattern to the destruction.

It wasn’t far that they had to travel, and Moon Petal quickly knocked on the door, "Flurry, dear, you have a visitor.” Luna nodded thankfully down at Moon before opening the door, entering, and swiftly shutting it behind her.

Flurry’s ear perked up but swiftly fell as she continued to face the wall with her head held low and her posture essentially nonexistent. “Momma, I told you, I don’t… I don’t have anything else to tell you, I promise.”

Luna spoke briskly and with a chillingly emotionless voice. “Hmph, I sure hope you’re ready to repeat it all back to me, then.”

Flurry’s spine went rigid, and the filly dared to turn her head and look back at the imposing form of Luna, who had situated herself right behind the filly with a scrutinizing gaze. “O-Oh…” She chirped nervously, “Hi… Auntie Luna…” She finished with an audible gulp and fear in her eyes.

I carefully shuffled away from the food tray that I’d pushed to the end of the bed. With the soup and bread thoroughly finished off, I’d been much more hungry than I’d given myself credit for. Though I had made a rather embarrassing mess of the tray, eating soup by shoving your muzzle into the bowl like a dog drinking water was… messy, to say the least.

The medicine had taken effect, as my nausea and a little bit of pain I’d felt in my foreleg had subsided. My incoming panic attack had morphed into a resigned silence as I lay on my back against the pillows, my eyes staring blankly at the ceiling.

“What’s the point? In anything.” I muttered darkly.

Why was I bothering to keep this body alive? Why was I still trying to escape and somehow turn things my way? I would never be happy anyway; it didn’t matter what I ever did.

“I can’t take it anymore… Why can't this all just end..?” I wondered confusedly.

But as I stared at the ceiling, amongst my negative thoughts, I found myself drifting off, though not into a soft and welcoming slumber but into a dark, demoralizing one.

~~~~

“Kieran, wake up, darling!”

I jolted awake with a start, looking around swiftly and settling on the door where Mrs. Cramble was staring at me with a single raised eyebrow. Her long brown hair was done up in a bun, and as she wore a kitchen apron, she looked rather messy already. The moment she noticed she had my attention, she sighed and gazed down at the silver watch on her wrist. “It’s already eleven sharp; you better get up or you’re going to be late.”

She closed the door swiftly, and I swung myself out of bed. Of course, I was going to be late if I didn’t hurry! Nevermind that I forgot what I was late for, but it had to be important.

My feet quickly hit the wooden floorboard, and I scrambled over to my dresser, haphazardly throwing on the first set of clothes that looked presentable to any degree. I watched my young form adorn myself in them in the mirror with an odd feeling of confusion in my mind, but it was swept away in the hurriedness of preparation.

I exited my small room. I was at the very back of a long hallway. I passed through the old home, which looked like it hadn’t been renovated in decades. Each door I passed by was either already opened or still had children in them.

I was in an odd spot, age-wise. I was the only child who was neither nearing adulthood nor young enough to still be in kindergarten.

A middle child, really.

I quickly bounded down the steps from upstairs, making sure to avoid certain steps out of fear of them one day giving in. I passed by the room of all the young ones, who were in the midst of playing with building blocks. “Kieran!” One of the little redheaded kids called to me, “Build?” He questioned me eagerly, hoping I’d join them.

I smiled at them and said, “I’m in a hurry. Sorry, Aiden. Maybe later, okay?” He nodded understandingly and gave a thumbs up, causing me to chuckle as I continued walking past.

Soon after, I passed by the infant room. Mrs. Cramble’s assistant, Emily, was tending to the four babies. As I passed, she was rocking and feeding one a bottle, and she smiled and waved at me as I passed by. I waved back as I continued quietly walking past.

I finally made it to the kitchen, where a couple of the quieter older kids were playing chess in the corner. Cramble was at the sink, doing dishes, when I entered. She turned her head slightly and said, “There you are, about time.” She teased me as she walked to the counter, picking up a plate and setting it on the long table for me.

I quickly sat down to eat breakfast as she sat across from me with a worried look in her eyes. “Kieran.” She started slowly. I continued to eat, but acknowledged her with a nod.

She opened her mouth once, then closed it, then hesitantly opened it again with a sigh. “The Riveras will be here soon.” I stayed silent but found myself tensing up a bit more as I stopped lifting food to my mouth. Cramble took a moment before continuing, “I can’t promise you that they’ll be… receptive.” She said amicably.

I gritted my teeth and lowered my head silently.

She rested a hand on the table. “I know that they took in Damon, and I know Damon was quite adamant as well. But that doesn’t mean… that things will work out…”

“And how is that fair!?” I suddenly yelled as I dropped my silverware and looked up angrily. “They can’t just take my brother and leave me alone; how is that okay?”

Mrs. Cramble sighed, rubbing her forehead with her other hand. “I know it doesn’t feel fair, dear. But you aren’t biologically related, which means we didn’t have a choice. There is no system in place for children in your and Damon’s situation.”

I huffed and stood up slightly from the seat. “He’s the only person I’ve known for four years, and I’m just supposed to let him leave me here alone?”

“It’s not your choice, dear.” Cramble quickly countered.

I stood there for a minute, trying to quell my anger. Eventually I did, huffing as I sat myself down again in resignation. “It’s fine; I know that the Riveras will give me a fair chance. Especially if Damon convinced them.”

Cramble gave me an unsure smile, even as the rooms around her began to meld together and swirl into nothingness. The environment I was just in gave way to a dark void, which quickly filled with the view of a scene from not much longer afterward. The next thing I saw was the crack of a door that I was peering through. I knew I wasn’t supposed to be, but I had to.

“Mr. and Mrs. Rivera, I implore you to reconsider your options.”

The couple looked between each other with raised eyebrows before looking back at Mrs. Cramble confusedly. “I’m… sorry, Mrs. Cramble. But I don’t quite understand why you would actively try to convince us not to adopt Kieran as well?” Mrs. Rivera said worriedly.

“He’s… difficult. And he doesn’t have a very good track record. I’ve been trying to fix his behavior, and I’m not sure he’s ready yet to be adopted.” She paused for a minute to sigh. “Besides, I think he relies too much on Damon.” Cramble continued. I found myself freezing as my heart almost stopped. Why was she telling them this? Was she against me too? Why did she want to keep me away from my brother?

“He has run away from three different children’s shelters and has been actively returned by two different families.” Cramble explained.

Mr. Rivera pursed his lips and shrugged. “He’s young, twelve, if I’m correct? Surely those incidents had to be for good reason, right?”

Of course they were; I’d left them all because I didn’t like the way I was treated. Did I need a better explanation?

Mrs. Cramble huffed and cleared her throat. “Well, his explanation… If you can really call it one, there were too many children. In both the shelters and the homes that took him in. He said he felt forgotten.”

“Because I was forgotten!” I yelled outward, but nobody in the room seemed to be able to hear me, causing my brow to furrow in confusion as I only got angrier. “They shoved me in rooms with dozens of other kids and told me if I couldn’t behave, I’d be sent back! They didn’t care at all!”

Mrs. Rivera hummed, “But that seems like a valid complaint.”

The man looked up with a smug grin and said, “If his issue was not getting any attention, then don’t worry, we’ll provide him plenty.”

“But you never did that either!” I ended up screaming as I slammed the door open. The three figures looked at me with emotionless and uncaring expressions before fading away into the background as the whole orphanage around me washed away. And I was left in a dark void.

I sat down, hitting my fist against the ground over and over. “You never cared either..!” I kept repeating to myself, burying my head into my knees as I pulled them closer to myself.

I sat there and sobbed into my knees in the deafening silence and black void, confused and alone.

“None of us cared.”

My body went rigid, and I felt my fight or flight response kick in as I heard his voice. I shook my head violently into my knees as I continued. Even covering my ears with my hands.

His voice was just as audible, even though I tried to block it out. “Why would we care about someone like you? I mean, even your parents gave you up because you were a complete and utter mistake!” The voice laughed chillingly. “Cramble told me about it; it was in your file.”

I looked up angrily and met eyes with Damon. His arms were crossed as he gave me a knowing smirk. “Y’know, it’s really funny how that works.”

He leaned down to look me in the eyes. “Your parents didn’t want you; the foster homes didn’t want you; Mrs. Cramble would rather see you strive for failure than make it somewhere in the world-”

“That’s not true!” I screamed back.

He just laughed harder and leaned in further. “Jane and Eric? Our parents? They hated you; they never felt even the slightest like you were their own son.”

I started crying, continuously trying to hold my hands up to my ears to block out his voice. But it got deeper and almost evil as he got even closer to me: “I didn’t ever care for you either, if you hadn’t already put that together yourself.”

He got eerily close, inches from my face, staring at me with cold, uncaring—almost hatred—"Nobody will ever care, not these ponies, not any human, nobody.” He aggressively poked my chest. “Not even whatever awaits you in the afterlife can save you from the shame.” I shut my eyes in protest.

Damon and his voice were suddenly replaced by Flurry Heart, as she stood there with a devilish grin on her face. “Just give up already.”

My eyes shot back open, and I quickly backed as far away as possible, tripping over the rubble of the Crystal Empire’s castle. The chilling wind bit at my back as Flurry took slow, calculated steps towards me. “Momma and Daddy hate you now… Why couldn’t you just be quiet and stay my puppet?”

I shook my head in pure terror as I continued shuffling backwards, at some point my body turning from my human body into the clone of Flurry. Until I was dangling precariously against the edge, where the castle had a giant hole blown in it.

Flurry laughed. “They’re looking for you… Luna wants to know why you stopped listening to me. They’ll find you, Kieran.” Suddenly visions of Cadance, Shining, and even Luna appeared behind her, all with less than friendly faces.

“No!” I yelled louder. “I’m sorry! I didn’t want to hurt anybody!”

Shining sneered as he held his head higher, “Do you even know what you’ve done?”

Luna stepped forward with a growl of anger as she bared her teeth. “You are just like I was; you need to be locked away for a thousand years.”

I continuously shook my head as I retreated further and further into a balled-up form on the ground. I looked up at Cadance, whose face showed indifference, and a small spark of hope shone in me as I looked up at her pleadingly.

I found myself cowering under her gaze as I begged, “Tell me how you want me to change!” I looked around frantically and said, “I'll do it! Just don't make me against my will, please!”

“I’m so sorry, Kieran, honey.” She said it sweetly, taking a few steps forward.

My ears perked up as my eyes widened. I reached a hoof up and outstretched it towards her as she got closer.

“But they’re right, all of them.” Cadance said coldly, grasping my outstretched hoof violently and pulling me upwards so she could stare into my eyes with hatred from only inches away. “You’re just a mistake.” She hissed.

~~~~

I jolted awake with a big gasp of air as I looked around myself in panic, clutching both hooves to my chest. I barely had control of my breathing as it came in short, striving gasps, which calmed the more I looked around me and realized that it was just a dream. A nightmare…

The room was dark, other than the pale moonlight that managed to shine through the far window behind the other bed, where Rue and Ivy were. I then swiftly made eye contact with Rue, who was the only one of the duo awake and was consequently staring at me with wide eyes and a tilted head.

After my initial confusion, I sighed, “Oh… Sorry, did I wake you up?” I whispered across the room.

He just shook his head and said, “I can’t sleep; I’m too excited.”

I just nodded slightly, turning my head away as my mind continued to flash with images of my nightmare. I rubbed my head and eyes while shaking my head. “Did you have a bad dream?” Rue questioned innocently.

I sighed, staying silent for a few moments as I questioned whether it was rude to leave him unanswered. “Y… Yes.” I said it quietly.

Rue just hummed, “Well, don’t worry. My momma always says scary things in dreams aren’t real, and they can’t hurt you in the real world.” He chirped innocently.

Well, mine were real, and they certainly could hurt me in the real world if I wasn’t careful. Nonetheless, his attempts to console me were adorable, and I quickly responded, "Thanks, Rue. I’ll keep that in mind.”

With Rue no longer distracting me, I realized I no longer felt like sleeping.

…

…

I really, really didn’t want to sleep…

Flurry was staring blankly at the floor, daring to look up only once every minute or so. But the sight of Luna effectively shunning her made her anxiety only continue to bubble up.

Luna was sitting a few feet from the bed, her back turned and her head held low. She wasn’t saying anything, only sitting as still as a statue. Ever since Flurry explained every single minute detail of their falling out that morning, Luna hadn’t spoken a word since she finished the story.

Eventually the fidgeting and anxiety became too much for the filly, and she squeaked out quietly, “Uhm… Auntie… I’ll help in any way I can…”

“Shh.” Luna hissed suddenly, not turning her head to glance.

Flurry recoiled further against the bed, tears filling her eyes again. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” She squeaked again.

“Flurry, hush.” Luna said as she turned back to her niece with a sigh. “I’m trying to see if he’s asleep right now.”

Flurry made an “oh” shape with her mouth as she nodded rapidly. Only now did she realize that Luna’s horn was glowing with a deep, dark, and pulsating blue energy. Of course, Luna still sounded snappy and a bit miffed, but it wasn’t the pure rage she thought that her aunt had been sitting there in.

Now Flurry only felt a bit useless yet again, only able to sit in silence and watch as Luna attempted to contact him through his dreams.

Luna kept tilting her head in odd directions as a puzzled frown appeared on her muzzle. Her horn would pulse outwardly with a brighter blue every few seconds, then retract back into her horn. Luna tried multiple times for a little while, until she grunted in annoyance and opened her eyes with a huff. “He is sleeping, I can tell. But I cannot enter!” She stamped her hoof in defiance as she thought inwardly.

Flurry looked downcast but allowed herself to breathe a sigh of relief. “He’s safe?” She breathed deeply. “Thank you…” She said to nobody in particular.

Luna hummed, “Well, he’s sleeping; that doesn’t mean he’s not buried under a cardboard box, shivering to death.”

And at once, Flurry’s relief was replaced by anxiety and dread once again as she covered her face with her hooves in shame.

Luna tried again for a few more minutes, until eventually she got fed up with trying to no avail, and she turned to look at her niece and asked, “Where are your parents?”

Flurry eyes shot open. “Oh… I think they’re both out searching. I don’t know; Momma hasn’t come back in here since I told her, and Daddy never came to see me even though I heard him outside the door earlier…”

Luna began to pace the floor, unable to understand what would be going on with Kieran. “The only way to deter me from a dream is if someone with equal magic power were to repel me! It makes no sense at all…” She lamented. “Only Celestia and Twilight can bar me from entering. Even Cadance has trouble keeping me out if she wants to.”

“Are dreams made of magic or something?” Flurry asked with genuine interest and a head tilt.

Luna finally stopped pacing to look at her. “They… aren’t made of magic necessarily. But the way I enter dreams is by connecting my magic to the leylines in other ponies’ bodies. It’s sort of like entering their magic to access them as a whole; I can feel their emotions and feel the same pain as them…”

"Wait, so why does it only work when they sleep?” Flurry continued.

“Because, as you know,” she started with a sigh, “magic naturally repels others influence when they’re awake. It stops when they sleep; it’s the same reason why a pony sleeps to regain energy for the next day.”

“Oh, so alicorns still have to abide by that rule too?” She asked, only to gain a nod from Luna. This stumped the both of them for a short while.

Flurry’s eyes suddenly widened, and she felt a sinking feeling of pure dread erupt in her chest as she tried to quell herself from panicking. Her breathing became uneven as she shook her head in disbelief.

“What? What’s wrong?” Luna asked with worry as she approached her and held her hoof out. “Flurry?”

Flurry snapped out of it as Luna sat and placed both hooves on her shoulders. And she looked up tearfully at her aunt, completely terrified to ask the question that was sitting in her mind.

“Hypothetically… uhm…” Flurry started wearily, and Luna tilted her head and raised a brow.

“What if, uh… what if…” Flurry sighed shakily.

…

…

“So what would happen if… he didn’t have magic anymore?”