Chapters View Online
Tuesday: Not off to a good start, but it's something.
Sunset woke up to a strange crunchy sound coming from her kitchen. Like a sloth, she took her sweet, sweet time to get out of bed and descend the stairs. She wiped her tired eyes for she must have slept badly that night.
Strange, her apartment seems hotter than it was yesterday. Stranger still was the smoke coming out of the kitchen. “Wait what?!”
Sunset rushed into her kitchen only to find the stove on fire, Discord eating a pack of skittles with a fire extinguisher in hand, blasting the flames away. “Discord, what did you do?!”
The elderly man turned around and nervously giggled. “It seems that even without my magic, my chaotic nature still remains.”
“I think you need some supervision.”
It was time for lunch and thus, all students gathered at the cafeteria. They were chattering about mundane stuff but quickly shifted their conversations once they saw Sunset Shimmer walk in. Now, all they were talking about was her and especially that strange new elderly teacher. The girl wasn’t oblivious to this for it was quite easy to notice that everyone was talking behind her back.
Growing uneasy, she hurried herself to grab her lunch before quickly sitting down next to her friends. Surely, they must know something, right?
“Uh, girls? Why’s everyone looking at me like that? What did I even do this time?”
Her friends looked around awkwardly, wondering who amongst them should speak up. Some of them, mostly Rainbow Dash, stared at Fluttershy with a look that clearly said ‘You should tell her’.
She caved in after a few more seconds of unbearable silence. “Um, Sunset?”
“Y-Yes? Do you know something Fluttershy?”
“I, um, did hear the rumours about you and Mister Discord. They’re quite bad...”
Sunset gulped. “Wh-What do they say?”
“Some students say they saw you inviting Discord to sleep over at your apartment and they think that you two are doing some naughty th-”
“Woah woah woah woah! It’s nothing like that! The guy just comes from Equestria; he has no place to sleep! That’s the only reason why I did that!” Sunset debunked immediately.
“It’s not going to be easy to tell the whole school that this old man comes from a magical world inhabited by talking ponies.” Twi said casually.
Sunset sighed. “I hope these rumours aren’t here to stay. I’ve already had enough bad rumours to deal with.”
“Hello there girls!” Much to everyone’s surprise, Discord popped in unannounced with his arms outstretched. “Good to see you all! I heard Sunset talk about you, but I already know who you all are since I come from Eq-”
“Equestria, yeah yeah; we know.” Rainbow Dash finished in his place. “What are you even doing here? Don’t you have like, teacher stuff to do?”
Discord chuckled. “I AM doing teacher stuff. You see, I’ve been placed in hall monitoring duty. It’s more cost efficient to leave that to the teachers. You know what this means, don’t you Rainbow Dash?”
The athletic girl glanced at the geode around her neck before sighing. “Yes, no running in the halls at super speed.”
Discord raised an eyebrow at that particular statement. “Super speed?”
“Yeah, I can run at super speed thanks to this awesome geode right here! Us Rainbooms all have one!” Dash responded with a confident smirk.
The old teacher angrily turned his attention to Sunset Shimmer. “Sunset, explain.”
“Oh yeah, I might have forgotten to tell you about the magical geodes...”
“I thought you said there was no magic in this crummy world!” he scowled.
“I never said there was no magic. You just assumed so because you can’t use yours.” Sunset corrected.
“That’s not fair. You get to have all the fun while I'm stuck working a job I never wanted to do.”
Sunset had enough of the chaotic now human draconequus’ constant complaining. “Why don’t you just grow up?! You sound like a nine-year-old with your incessant complaining!”
Fluttershy couldn’t bear to witness this fight anymore. “Stop it! Please! Discord, I know you don’t want to be a teacher, but there are not enough teachers in the school to teach everybody in Canterlot High...”
Discord was adamant about his position, but... man, just look at Fluttershy’s puppy eyes. They’re just so... irresistible.
“Really?” she said with a hopeful smile.
“Really.”
“Oh, thank you Discord! You’re really nice!” Her soft voice gave Discord a strong tingle in his mind. One that only really happens when he hears or feels something extremely satisfying.
“It’s all my pleasure, dear.”
“Whatcha looking at, junk magician?”
Discord and Trixie Lulamoon were both standing by the same watercooler. Both were thirsty and both were not willing to let the other go first.
“I, the Great and Powerful Trrrixie, should be the first to drink her cup of water.”
“They often say ladies first, but I say they should let the elders go first, regardless of their gender.”
“Magician ladies first, everybody else go second.”
Discord thought he was going to get it first for sure if he made his move now, but Trixie had the same idea. Both their cups collided and now, they found themself at an impasse.
“What did I say, oh average and pathetic Trixie? Let chaos incarnate drink his water first.”
“Over my dead body.”
A couple of students were waiting in line for these two to just stop bickering and get on with their day.
“Are... Are they gonna use the watercooler or what?”
“Not a prob’ dude! As long as I’m waiting in line with my best friend, it shouldn’t take long!”
“I don’t have any friends.”
“Sucks to be you.”
Supervising an exam, what a good time to mess around with people! Plus, Fluttershy is also doing the exam, perhaps he, the great god of chaos, could lend a helping hand? It’ll be cheating for sure, but rules are meant to be broken in his eyes.
Lyra was aware that this guy was 100% serious about his job at busting cheaters, but he can’t see what everyone was doing at once. Her best friend Bon Bon was right next to her, so whenever Discord wasn’t looking at her, she peeked at Bon’s copy. For a while, it was going well for her but unfortunately, you can’t really outsmart an ancient draconequus as a teenage girl.
Oh no, he knew for a while for Lyra wasn’t as sneaky as she thought. He was simply waiting for the perfect moment to scare the skeleton out of her. Right when the old man walked out of view, Lyra chose to peek again, only to be met with Discord’s face instead of Bon Bon’s copy.
“What’s up, dawg?”
With a sheepish smile, Lyra pretended like she was just looking at the time.
“The clock’s the other way, dear.” He motioned at her to hand over her copy of the exam. “Anybody else want to cheat?”
The entire class remained silent, a couple of students looked at their copy nervously, now knowing that they could get busted by this terrifyingly vigilant teacher.
“Nobody? Well that’s just great. Play fair and you’ll be rewarded but try to cut corners and you’ll end up at the principal’s office.”
With a freakish smile, Discord went back to doing his rounds around the class. Of course, whenever he approached Fluttershy, he paid extra attention to how she was doing. Would you look at that; she got an answer wrong.
“It’s D, Fluttershy. D.”
Surprised, the young girl reread the question and realised that her answer was wrong indeed. She quickly corrected her mistake although she did feel a little guilty that the teacher was giving her an unfair advantage.
Behind her, Trixie rose up ever so slightly, seemingly not oblivious to Discord’s favoritism. This class has quickly learned that Discord has a soft spot for Fluttershy, though none really wanted to question him about it. The dad jokes loving teacher had an air of mystery and unease to him despite his best attempts at appearing friendly. I guess that’s what happens when you’re literally built different.
“Mister Discord, I heard that!” Trixie shouted as she stood up.
“Heard what, oh great and powerful Trixie?” The old man responded in a sarcastic voice.
“You gave Fluttershy here the correct answer to a question on the exam!”
A couple of students gasped while Discord remained confident that he could shut down her accusation.
“Pish posh, I’m not doing any favoritism in this class! I was only muttering to myself. You know, something old folks tend to do a lot.”
Trixie shook her head in disapproval. “I find it awfully convenient you started muttering to yourself right as you passed by Fluttershy. We know you have a soft spot for her and we find it creepy!”
Discord felt his blood boiling and with one quick look at the time, he smiled. “Trixie, you DO know you have 15 minutes remaining, rrright?” he said in a smug tone, even going so far as to roll his r’s to mock her further.
Trixie gazed at the clock and shrieked. “Oh no!”
Serves you right. Nobody’s going to stop me from being... a great friend to Fluttershy. You think I was gonna say 'abuse my power'? Oh, how could you? I'm reformed, remember?
“Ready? One, two, three, go!”
During recess, the Rainbooms would often practice their newest jam. They have become sort of celebrities since their musical battle against the Sirens and so, many come to see their next songs in anticipation. If they’re not careful enough to close the doors before they play, a big crowd would form before them. For some like Rainbow Dash, it’s awesome to have so many adoring fans.
For Fluttershy, however, it made her terribly nervous although being next to her friends did alleviate this feeling. Now, they had a “manager” of some sort in Discord, if you can even call him one. He’s just here for Fluttershy and the rest of the band finds it creepy.
I mean, how often do you see a 60+ years old man hanging around a teenage girl? Never! Strange how it’s not so weird in Equestria. Maybe it’s because its inhabitants are used to seeing all sorts of weird and magical happening while in the human world, people don’t really see ancient beings of mystical power lurking around.
“Uh, Discord? Do you really have to be here too? You’ve already followed us during lunch while you were supposed to monitor the cafeteria.” Rainbow Dash asked.
“How can I not be? Sunset Shimmer is supposed to keep an eye on me. I’m just making her job easier, that’s all.” Nobody believes him, of course. They can all see right through his lies.
“You can be honest with us, Discord. You’re only here for Fluttershy.” Sunset exclaimed to the ex-draconequus.
Fluttershy hid her face behind her tambourine. “Why’s he so infatuated with me?!”
“Why it’s because you’re the most amazing pony, er, human I've ever met in my entire life! A life that’s, by the way, thousands of years old at the moment.”
Fluttershy leaned towards Sunset, her face still partially hidden. “Is my pony self all lovey-dovey with him?”
“What?! No, you two are just friends over there. Don’t worry, I'm sure Discord doesn’t have any romantic feelings for you.”
Pinkie Pie began to unload on her drums, struggling to contain her excitement. “Come on girls! We only got 10 minutes before our classes! We must play right now!”
Discord chimed in. “I’m with her, girls! I want to hear your beautiful music!” Oh boy, he knew Fluttershy wrote this song. It was visible in his eyes.
After school, Discord was invited by Sunset Shimmer to join them, for what? He was about to find out.
“Alright Sunset; I'm here. Now what are we going to do for the remainder of the day?” he asked right as he arrived. The rest of the gang was here and seemed eager to go.
“Why we’re just going to go on a shopping trip at the mall! Oh, you know; just girl stuff. Ah, I just can’t wait to buy me some fashionable new clothes for the school’s Friday night party!” Rarity explained immediately, unable to contain her excitement.
Discord was stuck on two things. “A shopping trip? Ugh, how boring... Wait, what was it you said about a party?”
Pinkie Pie dropped from the sky, which apparently, she could even do here and she was just bursting with energy. “The party? It’s even better than the best party! It’s the bestest party ever! There’s going to be a buffet, music, dancing, games and so much more! They called it; the Friday Night Funkin’!”
“I’m feeling pretty mixed on the name.” Discord added.
Anyhow, they traveled on foot to the mall and looked around, wondering where they should go first. So many shops, so many opportunities, it won’t be easy to choose.
“Let’s buy some fashionable clothes first! Some of my clothes are starting to show wears and tears. It’s so dreadful, really.” Rarity said first.
“Suit yourself, I’m going to buy some new soccer gears for myself. I already have a dress anyway.” Rainbow Dash exclaimed as she started to walk in direction of a nearby sports store.
“But Rainbow Dash! Your dress is a year old!”
“And your point being?” Dash asked.
“It’s old-fashioned, darling. You absolutely need a new one!”
Discord looked at the scene, somewhat knowing the true meaning behind this conversation. “A new toy line’s coming already? My, they sure are getting greedier as of late... or perhaps it’s desperation, I will never know.”
Sunset finally interjected, not wanting to see an argument start between these two. “Why don’t we start with the dress first? I mean, we have more than enough time to visit everything on our list.”
Rainbow Dash sighed. “Fine, I’ll buy a new dress, Rarity.”
“Cool; problem solved. Can we go now?” Discord said impatiently.
So, they walked around the mall in direction of the one shop they trusted for fashion. On their way there, Discord spotted something that nearly gave him a heart attack. The figure of a familiar centaur that betrayed him and endangered all of Equestria.
“T-Tirek?!” he spat out as his entire body pulled back in shock. It didn’t take long for him to realise that he was just staring at a cardboard cutout of Lord Tirek, placed in front of a game store. “Oh... never mind.”
The other girls looked back to see what was up.
“Yeah, it also got me the first time I went to the human world. It was pretty embarrassing.” Sunset Shimmer admitted.
Discord stared at the carboard cutout for a few seconds as his hand scratched his chin. “Odd that there’s a cutout of Lord Tirek. Shouldn’t there be a human version of him just like you?”
Sunset scratched the back of her head. “There... isn’t actually. It’s pretty weird, but not everybody in Equestria gets a living counterpart in this world. Tirek here is just a popular video game character.”
“What?! Wait, what am I in this world? I have a human counterpart, don’t I?”
Sunset bit her lips. “Um, no. In this world, you’re just, uh...”
Pinkie’s eyes lit up as she made the connection. She ran inside the store and came out with a plushie... of none other than Discord, the draconequus. “Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh! It’s really you, Discord!”
The real Discord stared at the plushie, perplexed. “Uh yeah, I believe we already established that a day ago...”
“Not that, silly! I mean, my favorite cartoon character as a little girl turned out to be real!” Pinkie Pie explained.
That revelation made his jaw dropped. “Cartoon character?! That’s all I am in the human world?!”
Sunset Shimmer laughed. “Ha ha! Yeah, the rules don’t make any sense like I said. Some ponies, or creatures translate into another specie in this world while others are simply the work of fiction.”
“This world has disgraced me; I hate it.”
“I LOVE it!”
“Stop hugging me, Pinkie Pie.”
Author's Note
I can't believe they turned Discord into a marketable plushie.
Sunset woke up today to the sound of furious typing coming from her laptop. As she rose out of bed, she spotted Discord doing some research on it.
“What are you doing? It’s barely even 6 am...” she asked in a hoarse voice.
“I’m just researching Equestrian magic in the human world. Sadly, there doesn’t seem to be much result. Such a shame, especially since you’ve told me that you had to deal with magical threats fairly often. I’d have figured that maybe some people might have uncovered its secrets.” explained the old man, as he glued his face to the laptop, figuratively speaking. If he had magic, he might have actually done it for real.
“Do as you please, just don’t forget to recharge it before we go to school.”
“Oh, don’t worry, dear. I don’t easily forget important things. I have an incredible memory for an ancient being.” No response. Sunset Shimmer already fell asleep. “Oh well, I guess the alarm will wake her up on time. Good thing she believed me...”
Indeed, as you may have guessed, Discord wasn’t actually researching about magic, though it would have also made sense. No, he was searching for a way out. The portal can only open on one side, that of Equestria, meaning he had to somehow find a way to get one open or at least, predict when a portal would open. He hoped that the Internet would provide such answer for Sunset did say that the Internet held the answer to all your questions. Maybe she was wrong, ‘cause there’s nothing!
Oh poo... How is this loser supposed to help me when I only get results about ‘Bronies’ when I ask it about Equestria! You know even less than I do, Internet!
Someone please tell him that the Internet isn’t actually a living being...
On their way to school, Sunset and Discord kept getting weird looks. It would appear that even though she did tell some students about Discord’s true nature, the majority of the school still had the wrong idea about them.
“Looks like we’ll need to do more if we want to break the rumours. We’ll need some concrete proof that he has no you know, ‘romantic’ feelings for you... and Fluttershy too.” Twi said, surprising the two of them.
Discord scoffed. “How can they all be so crude? I’m just Fluttershy’s friend, can’t they understand that?”
Twi giggled for a bit. “Apparently no, because now they believe that you are building yourself a harem with all seven of us!”
“Oh that’s just gr- wait what?!” Discord was taken aback by the wacky turn this rumour had taken. He almost looked traumatised with how exaggerated his expression was.
“Yeah, not really the most flattering rumour for all of us. Then again, I don’t mind much. As long as we got each other, it’ll be fine!”
The old teacher saw something move around Twi’s bag and that caught his attention. “Twilight; what’s in your bag? I can clearly see it move and I don’t think bags move on their own.”
“Oh that? That’s just Spike. Hey Spike, come say hello to Discord!”
A small dog poked its head out of the bag and Discord chuckled. “Hey Spike, nice seeing ya.” he said in an ironic tone.
“Hey, Discord! Twilight told me about you. She sometimes brings me to school but not always because of the no pet policy. I must remain hidden from everybody pretty much but I don’t mind that as long as I get to spend some time with her friends.” Spike explained in a cheerful voice.
“That’s just wonderful. Hey Spike, want a treat?” He said as he held out a cookie from his hand.
Spike salivated at the sight of this delicious treat. “Oh yes!”
“Here you go, good doggy!”
Discord tossed the treat and Spike ate it in one bite. His face quickly turned to disgust as he spat out the crumbs.
“My bad, Spike. I must have overcooked this one.”
Twi sighed. “Hey, try not to poison Spike while you’re staying in our world, okay?”
Discord touched his heart while faking a hurt expression. “My I’m not intentionally trying to poison your puppy!” He quickly turned his head towards Sunset Shimmer and whispered. “I absolutely hate his guts already.” Turning back his head towards Twi and Spike, he said. “I like Spike. No really, I do.”
Sunset Shimmer simply laughed it off. Yeah, as if he’s bad enough to poison a dog. Discord is all bark and no bite nowadays... But, is he though? “Discord, don’t do it. I already know about the things you’ve done, post reform.”
“It was just a joke, lad... just a joke”
Anyhow, Sunset arrived in class. Today, they had a writing assignment, which is why she needed to bring her laptop. The teacher explained their assignment, and left them to work on it. It was at this moment, right when she opened it that she realised; Discord forgot to recharge it after his morning research.
Dang it Discord! You said you were going to do it!
Right then, the door opened and Discord walked in as if he always belonged here.
“Excuse me, mister Cranky Doodle, but I have some problems with the projector. I heard you were the person to ask for these kinds of issues.”
After he finished his sentence, the old man noticed Sunset glaring at him from across the class. In this very moment, he remembered that he forgot to do something rather important. Oh poop! The laptop! How could I have forgotten? Oh right... I was lost in my desperate want to escape.
Cranky Doodle angrily mumbled something under his breath and stood up. “Lead the way, Discord. But if I find out it’s not worth my time, there’ll be consequences.”
“Oh, I’m fairly certain it’ll be worth your time, donk- I mean sir.” Discord always acted as if he knew what he was doing and to be fair, he is most of the time. But in this world where he knows next to nothing about its technology, Sunset knew he was merely keeping up an illusion of confidence when in reality, he’s hopelessly lost without her aid.
It’s quite funny, and Sunset probably would have found it funny had it not been for her predicament imposed by Discord’s inability to supposedly remember a simple request from a “friend”. You’re not gonna get away with this! She thought to herself as she watched the old man leave with the cranky teacher.
Their conversation will happen right after class, and she’ll make sure he won’t be able to avoid it.
The bell rang and all the students left Discord’s class feeling... exhausted. Now, why were they feeling exhausted exactly? Ask them and they’ll probably point out the incessant dad jokes, the ‘back in my world/days speeches’ or maybe even the fact that he kind of sounds like he doesn’t know what the hay he’s doing. But today, it was perhaps because they got their grades on the latest exam and boy, oh boy was it not pretty.
Anyhow, they all left without saying a word, except for Fluttershy who thanked him for trying to be a good teacher even though she doesn’t really believe what she’s saying, she just feels bad for him. As for Discord? His head is far too stuck up the clouds to realise that he’s not doing it right.
After the last one left, his class was now silent and peaceful. “Hmm, now what should I do for recess? Listening to the Rainbooms perhaps? Or how about doing some ‘hall monitoring duties’?”
The door slammed open, catching the old teacher by surprise. “Discord!!” Two exclamation points, now that’s a rare sight.
“O-Oh, Sunset Shimmer. What brings you to my classroom?” Sunset simply tossed her laptop on his desk and stared him down with a less than pleased look.
Oh snap! I forgot about the laptop! “It would appear I might have forgotten something, but it’s not the end of the world if I forget to charge a laptop now is it?”
“Can’t you at least make the effort to remember?”
“Don’t worry, Sunset; this is a one-time occurrence. It won’t happen again! I, uh, Pinkie promise!” Discord said with an innocent smile on his face.
Sunset rolled her eyes. “Alright then, I’ll let it slide just this once but I'd like it if you made more conscious effort to be helpful. I’m nice enough to share my apartment with you, the least you can do is to listen to my occasional demands.”
After she left, Discord looked at the computer on his desk. Maybe now was the right time to do more research on the Internet regarding the mysterious link between Equestria and this world. Come to think of it, does it even have a name? He never thought to ask Sunset about that.
“Oh well... that’s a question I’ll save for later. Now then, where did I left off?”
He typed back the question he wrote that morning and resumed his research, a hopeless endeavor he’ll soon realise for humanity doesn’t have a good grasp on magic. It was after all introduced by ponies in the first place but asking these questions to Sunset will get her onto his back and he didn’t want that to happen.
Spike wouldn’t let him play again if he cheated his way out, but in Equestria, where he possesses near unlimited magic, he can trick all parties involved in a multitude of ways. Yes, he could create a clone of himself to spend the time in this pitiful world while he rested somewhere comfortable in Equestria, with his magic of course.
“Don’t think you can mock the Great and Powerful Trrrixie with this awful grade you bestowed upon her!”
Oh great, not this self-absorbed narcissist again. “I would sure love to mock you, Trixie, but sadly, I have played by the book this time. Your grade is entirely your doing and not mine. So please, go bother someone else with your fancy talk of grandeur and leave me alone while I do ‘teacher’ stuff.”
“Fine, maybe it is my fault I botched it, but it doesn’t excuse what I saw you do with Fluttershy. You’ve helped her cheat! Therefore, I request that you make her redo the exam!” Trixie shouted in an undignified tone.
The worst part was, she was right and Discord somehow had to find a way to bail both he and Fluttershy out. He was just trying to be a good friend, but bad things happen even when you have good intentions in mind. A lesson he will probably never ever learn...
“And what proof do you have that I unfairly helped her? I’m afraid simple words won’t cut it with Princes- Principal Celestia.”
Trixie smirked. “I’m sure she’d be inclined to listen NOT just to me, but to multiple students.”
Discord’s eyes briefly widened and he quickly regained his composure, not wishing to show any weakness before what would become his greatest enemy in here. “What?”
“I, the Great and Powerful Trixie have rallied many students in my class to my cause against you. Let’s see you brush that off!”
“Fine then, I’ll face your accusations head on and prove that Fluttershy didn’t need my help whatsoever to pass the exam. I, the Greater and more Powerful Discord will beat you at this game that you’ve so kindly instigated.”
Trixie flipped her hair up with arrogance. “Hmpf! I’d like to see you try but an honest student will always prevail over a terrible teacher.” And on that note, she left Discord’s class, leaving the ex-draconequus quite angry and anxious all at once.
Okay so... when in doubt, ask Sunset to bail you out!
“Umm, no.”
“But Sunset; aren’t friends supposed to help each other out in times of need?”
Sunset Shimmer held her initial stance, Discord will have to deal with this problem on his own since he’s responsible for it in the first place.
The other Rainbooms watched silently as the two were talking in the corner of the room, wondering what this was all about.
“So, uh, are we gonna wait for them or are we gonna play now? It’s takin’ a bit too much time. We only have 15 minutes for this, remember?” Applejack said to the rest of the band. Sure, Sunset was important as she was a vocalist, but so is Twi.
They can do without her for just this once while she deals with Discord’s antics.
“Yeah, let’s just do something before I die of boredom...” Dash quickly answered.
The Rainbooms played their tune, lyrics made by Fluttershy as Discord would like to point out (no need to tell me how to narrate, thank you very much), which also had the side-effect of burying both Discord and Sunset’s voices.
“May I add that I'm not the only one who’s in trouble?”
“What? I can’t hear you!”
“I said; Fluttershy is also in trouble for this because I helped her cheat!”
“You did what?! Ugh, can’t you go for 5 minutes without causing trouble for both yourself and us?”
“I’m trying, Sunset! I’m trying!”
Inside her office, vice-principal Luna was doing some important business, well, that is what she wants you to believe. She was instead a bit busy playing Tirek’s Revenge on her console. On her desk still lied the embarrassing trophy calling her ‘Gamer Girl Queen’. A trophy she earned for besting Sunset Shimmer as the best player for that particular game, to which she slowly warmed up to, though she’d still prefer to keep this a secret.
A knock on the door surprised her and she hid her console under her desk. “Yes, come in!”
It was her older sister, Celestia, who entered her office. “Luna? Do you have some time to spare? I believe we’ve got a problem...” she said calmly.
“A problem?” she quickly glanced down at her console. “Uh, y-yeah, what is the problem?”
In response, Principal Celestia fully opened the door, revealing a big crowd gathered in front of Luna’s office, with Trixie being in charge of said crowd. In the blink of an eye, Luna pushed the trophy off her desk and into the trash.
“Vice-Principal Luna, the Great and Powerful Trrrixie would like to speak about her outrage regarding Discord’s unfair treatment of his students...”
Discord hung around his empty classroom, wondering just what he was supposed to do for the last few hours at school considering he had no class left for the day. Playing around with pen, staring at manuals, golly being a teacher sure was boring! Totally unfitting for the god of chaos even, as teachers love control and order which didn’t click with his nature.
Eventually, he got fed up of doing ‘teacher things’ and he decided to leave his classroom, only to spot on the other end of the hallway Principal Celestia, Vice-Principal Luna AND Trixie slowly making their way to him.
Oh no, looks like I’m in trouble. That is... unless there’s no Discord to chastise. Yes, that’ll do. He thought to himself as he stared at the open window.
“Discord, we’d like to discuss with you regarding some complaints coming from your students... Discord?”
Another game, another victory in the making for Rainbow Dash as she was juggling the ball around, expertly evading her adversaries. She was truly the best of the best when it came down to sports in Canterlot High. Some would even say, this is what peak performance looks like.
Now she was in front of the goal with a clear shot. Her next kick will blow the opposite team away and earn her more cheers from her teammates.
“Wha- huh?!” Or maybe not as she got distracted by a bizarre sight. That of Discord falling out of a window on the second floor on the school. This stunt also caught the attention of basically everybody else on the field.
The old man got back up as if the fall was nothing and ran straight in the soccer field. “Hey Rainbow Dash! Bye Rainbow Dash, be seeing ya.”
“What in tarnation are you doing?” Her question didn’t reach through as Discord was too busy vaulting over a nearby fence.
The coach walked up to his students and blew his whistle. “Let’s, uh, forget that happened and focus on the game, please!”
Sunset mentioned something about Sugar Cube Corner, so naturally Discord gravitated towards this candy shop to avoid a confrontation with the two sisters. “I’d like to have one cupcake with a chocolate milkshake, please.”
With the money he got from Sunset Shimmer, he could afford a little treat to make this boring day passable. He watched as the time pass, thinking about how everyone at school must be having a bad time while he gets to ravel in such pleasure.
The bell on the front door rang and immediately, Misses Cake went to greet the newcomers. “Hi there Miss Celestia and Luna. Happy to see you again!”
Discord choked on his cupcake. Hold up, what?! How did they know I was here?!
Celestia approached the crooked old man with a perplexed look on her face. “Discord? We’d like to talk with you for a bit if you don’t mind. We promise we won’t take much of your time.”
Vice-Principal Luna pulled out her cellphone and showed Discord the message she got from a certain ‘Pinkamena Diana Pie’. It read something along the lines of “He’s totally going to Sugar Cube Corner. Source; trust my Pinkie Sense!”
“But how did she kn- That doesn’t make any sense! She’s not even in Suga-”
“Hi Discord! I didn’t know you liked these kinds of places!” Somehow, Pinkie Pie found her way into Sugar Cube Corner. Even in this world, her powers are still an enigma. Powers that many tried to solve, oblivious to the fact that this was a hopeless endeavor.
“You gotta be kidding me. Grah! Can’t have anything fun in Canterlot City...”
“So? How did it go, Discord?” Sunset asked to Discord now that they were both back in her apartment.
“Fluttershy had to redo her exam and, thankfully, she passed so there’s no need to worry for my dear friend.” honestly responded the ex-draconequus.
“And as for you?”
“I got a slap on the wrist.”
“That’s really it-”
“Literally. Every student in my class got to slap me freely on the wrist. Now they both hurt...” Discord explained as he held out his wrist that appeared a little redder than usual.
“Uh... serves you right, I guess?”
Author's Note
"Poor Discord. I hope that it didn't hurt too much..."
"Trixie likes to slap the elderly."
Thursday: The Pinkie Pie Conspiracy
Another morning with Discord, more crazy antics to expect. This time, Sunset Shimmer found Discord sitting on the couch with a bunch of papers placed around the floor. On each of them lied strange scribbles related to Pinkie Pie. From what she’s heard, Discord is more interested in Fluttershy and Twilight, but not so much Pinkie. It was time to seek answers, and honest ones this time.
“Discord, what’s this all about?”
“Back at Sugar Cube Corner, I was spotted by Pinkie Pie and that’s how Celestia and Luna got to ‘punish’ me for my misdeeds. Now, the one thing I can’t buy is that she somehow got to Sugar Cube Corner without getting herself in trouble for skipping class.” Discord explained, his gaze still on his scribbles.
“You do realise there’s no use in questioning Pinkie Pie’s rather bizarre powers, right? I tried, and gave up after spending one too many months trying to get to the bottom of it.”
Discord, however, didn’t seem to be listening. “I’ve asked Pinkie’s teacher and she confirmed that she was in fact, present at her class which leaves me to believe that...” dramatic pause, something Discord is known for ladies and gentlemen. “... There is more than one Pinkie Pie! She has a clone of herself helping her out in her schemes!”
Sunset Shimmer brushed it off. “Come on, I know Pinkie Pie can do all sorts of unbelievable things, but a clone of herself, seriously? That sounds too farfetched to me.”
“Nothing’s farfetched when it comes down to that pink pony- erm, human... thingy.”
She laughed, before making her way to the kitchen. “Well, have fun with your research. I’ll just go on with my day, if you don’t mind.”
Laugh all you want, Sunset Shimmer, but I will figure out what you couldn’t explain. Then, I’ll be able to put this knowledge to use to prevent Pinkie Pie from ever one-upping me!
The day was just about to start, as indicated by the flood of student making their way to Canterlot High. During that time, Discord impatiently waited at the entrance for Pinkie Pie to show up. She’s rarely ever late for school, which was a good thing for him since he wanted to chat with her a bit.
His foot was rapidly taping against the floor as his eyes darted left and right, growing more and more tired of waiting. Many students walked past him, but none of them were Pinkie Pie! Could she just hurry up for his sake already?
“Hi there, Discord! Were you looking for me?” speak of the devil...
“How? How did you know?”
She gleefully pulled out her cellphone and showed it to the old man. “A text from Sunset Shimmer, silly!”
Oh my, these text messages sure travel fast. Much faster than our letters back in Equestria... Perhaps I could steal some for Fluttershy and I and then; we could be so much closer with this technology!
“Then I suppose you’re ready to listen to what I have to say.” he said in a displeased tone.
“Go ahead, I’m listening!”
“Remember yesterday? Yo-”
Discord barely had the time to explain the situation that Pinkie was already going on a tangent about yesterday. “Of course I remember yesterday! It was such a fun day! I-”
“Don’t interrupt me when I'm talking! Anyway, you were there at Sugar Cube Corner and got me caught by Celestia and Luna. The only thing I want to know is how. How were at two different places at once?”
Pinkie Pie laughed gleefully. “Ha ha! That’s the Pinkie Secret! I can’t tell anypo-anybody about it or else I would have broken a Pinkie Promise and you know just how much I care about my Pinkie Promises!”
Discord snarled. “Grah! I’ll figure out your secret one way or another!”
“Ha ha ha! Feel free to try! It’ll be like a game between us! Woohoo, let’s start the game right away!”
Oh my dear, don’t think you can best an ancient draconequus at this battle of the minds. I’ll make you spit out your secret involuntarily...
Walking down the hall, Discord came across somebody else he’d rather avoid like the plague; Trixie. He gave her the ol’ stink eye and upon noticing it, she gave one back.
“Discord, the new nemesis of the Great and Powerful Trrrixie is ready to lose badly again?”
The old teacher pushed her off to the side. “Yeah yeah yeah, whatever. I’ve got more important business. Got no time to deal with you.”
Trixie stared blankly for a couple of seconds, before holding out a hand to her chest accompanied by an insulted look plastered all over her face. “Hold on! You don’t just ignore me like that! When the Great and Powerful Trixie demands your attention, then you better listen!”
Discord couldn’t ignore her anymore, especially when someone even dared to talk to him like that. “I see I’ve damaged your massive ego. My apologies.”
Trixie scoffed. “Like how I broke yours yesterday? Shouldn’t have messed with someone too great and powerful to handle.”
“Great and Powerful this, Great and Powerful that. All I've seen you do is a pitiful attempt at a ninja vanish and let me tell you; I’ve seen better ninja vanish in my life.” Discord responded with sass.
“Ha! That was just the tip of the iceberg when it comes down to what Trixie, which is I, can do. Tomorrow is the day of the party and I’ll show you there what I'm made of.”
“Well good luck with your show. I know you’ve got about as much spine as an invertebrate.”
Pinkie Pie stood in front of a vending machine, eyeing the various treats it offered. With so many delicious options, she was torn on what to choose. From chocolate bars, to peanut butter crackers, to pretzels, there were so many good ones! “I know! I’ll just ask her what she’d like to have!”
“Hello there, Pinkie Pie. Who are you going to share this with?” It would appear Discord has been following around for a bit, waiting for the good moment to strike.
“With Rainbow Dash of course! With how much she runs around, she needs some calories for her next game which will happen before lunch!”
“Aren’t you sure there’s someone truly special you’d want to share this with?”
“Hmm, no. Rainbow Dash is someone special, so I'm going to share this snack with her!”
“Okay but like, even more special than an athletic girl perhaps?” Discord insisted.
“What could be more special than that?” Pinkie replied as she tilted her head to the side.
“You! You and your physics defying abilities!”
Pinkie remained silent for a moment, trying to process the whole conversation. “I can’t share food with myself, silly!”
“D’oh, forget it. You clearly know what I'm talking about but you refuse to admit it.”
“I don’t know what you’re on about but I like talking with you, Discord!”
Discord left while she was talking, no longer interested in pursuing this tactic. He of all people knew for a fact that Pinkie Pie isn’t dumb like many would think. She’s very smart, in a extroverted kind of way, there was no good method he could use to make her spill the beans involuntarily. So, if he can’t make her talk, he’d have to catch her at her worse.
Inside his once again empty classroom, Discord convinced Twi to lent Spike to him until lunch time. The ex-draconequus hoped that the little puppy could provide some insight on Pinkie’s mysterious powers, mostly if she could duplicate herself to perform some funny shenanigans.
“Thanks for giving me some space, Discord! Don’t get me wrong, I like being with Twi while she’s in her class, but being stuck in a schoolbag can get a little uncomfortable.” Spike said to the old man.
“It’s my pleasure Spike. You see; I’m a dog person myself (Mostly a Fluttershy person) and I figured why not spend some time with you, a talking dog!” Discord explained in a flattering voice.
“He he, don’t you have talking dogs too in Equestria? I heard there are dragons, griffons and centaurs in there, so surely a talking dog must be rather common.”
“Um...” Digging through his memory, he was surprised to find that there’s barely any talking dog he ever met during his long existence. “Not really. I don’t remember the last time a dog spoke full sentences to me.”
“Oh wow. I guess I must be something special then?”
Discord leaned over his desk. “Ho ho certainly yes! You know, I’d like to hear how life is for a talking dog surrounded by humans. To be precise, I want to know more about your friends.”
“I can tell you a lot about them, but don’t you already know them? You know, the ones in Equestria?” Spike asked, raising a paw to scratch the back of his head.
Discord buried himself in his chair. “There’s gotta be some differences between them. This world is already vastly different from mine, so surely its inhabitants must be different in some ways.”
Spike pondered the ex-draconequus' point of view, before agreeing. “Okay then, it’s fun to know that you’re interested in them, but can I also talk a bit about me too? I-I mean you said you were a dog person, right?”
Discord hid his disdain, this time with greater success. “Sure, but I'd like for you to start with Pinkie Pie if you don’t mind, then you can continue with yourself.”
Getting excited, Spike did exactly just that. It took at least a good twenty minute for Spike to do his rundown of all his friends, though he did spend a good chunk of time describing himself in flattering detail. Problem was, Discord didn’t learn anything new about Pinkie Pie, so he was stuck listening to the puppy long after his interest faded away.
“Anyway, that was all of my amazing friends? So, are you satisfied? I certainly hope so because I get to hang out with another guy! Don’t get me wrong; it’s fun to hang around these girls, but I feel like I want to also spend times with guys that share some traits in common with me.”
Discord raised an eyebrow. “And what traits do we have in common?”
“We have the same friends!”
Discord’s eyes shifted left and right before he pulled something out of his desk. It was Ogres and Oubliettes! Brought straight from Equestria too at that! “Yes, but we also love games, don’t we?” he said in a tempting voice.
“Oh sweet! A role-playing game! I love them!”
“So, you’re already looking for a replacement?”
Vice-Principal Luna was walking alongside her older sister in the school’s halls, discussing about Discord who had pretty much become the talk of the town by now. Every student mentioned him briefly in their conversations, whether it was about the Trixie incident or the rumours about his “harem”, their opinion were more on the negative side. He didn’t appear to be bothered, however, which can be chalked up to the fact that he’s only staying here for a week.
“Sunset told me he’s only staying here for a week, and I wish I had known before I decided to hire him. He’s not the best at his job, but at least he’s not terrible. The students have only given him one complaint so far, and that has been resolved.” Celestia explained in a slightly worried voice.
Canterlot City was currently short on employees for all kinds of jobs. Nobody truly knew why this was happening but it was bad, especially bad for schools like Canterlot High since good education would lead to more people getting jobs, and more people getting jobs would surely solve this issue.
But right now, they had to find a new teacher to take Discord’s place once he’d leave.
“It would be good if we could get his class to be more... pleasant with him. Students always learn better if they have a good relation with their teacher.” Luna said as she peeked through Discord’s class briefly.
“He seems like a nice person even though he’s a bit devious.” admitted the school’s principal, although her words didn’t quite make their way to Luna’s ears as she was too busy staring through the classroom’s window. “Uh, sister?”
“What’s Spike doing here?”
The door opened, and the two sisters entered. Spike and Discord stopped playing and looked at them, surprised yet worried all the same.
“Oh, um. Good morning to you two wonderful ladies. How’s it going?”
Luna glanced at the game, then back at Discord. “Are you playing Ogres and Oubliettes with Spike?”
“P-Perhaps, but I assure you I'm not shirking my oh so important duties as a teach-”
Celestia turned her head to face her younger sister. “How did you know from this distance?” she said, sounding quite amused. Luna froze for a moment; she might have said something she’d regret. “I always knew you were a fan of these kinds of games! Nice trophy by the way, I’m sure you deserved it.”
“Oh... so I was, that bad at hiding it?”
The principal giggled. “It was amusing to see your valiant efforts at keeping it a secret but I assure you; it’s not embarrassing for an adult to be still playing video games.”
Adults playing video games, yes, now that could work in Discord’s favor to get closer to a certain, Pinkie Pie...
Anyway, once he was done talking with the two sisters, Discord resumed his game of Ogres and Oubliettes with Spike. Eventually, they finished their game just in time for the bell to ring across the entire school. First thing the old man did was convincing Sunset to lend him her console, then he approached Pinkie Pie with it.
“Good morning to you, Pinkie! How about we have a little fun with this?” He said as he pulled out Sunset’s console.
“Ooh! You wanna play Tirek’s Revenge! I’m in, I’m in!” Pinkie Pie reached into her locker but she couldn’t find her console.
“Oh yeah, it must be in he-my bag!”
Discord raised an eyebrow as he watched this energetic girl pull out all sorts of bizarre items from her bag, eventually coming around to getting what she was looking for.
“Fabulous, now we can bond over a fun game of Tirek’s... something.”
“Revenge.”
“Yes... Revenge.”
Sitting down at an empty seat at the cafeteria, Discord and Pinkie Pie began their run. There was just one little problem for the ex-draconequus; he never played a single video game in his entire life. Even just the concept of video games was completely unknown to him prior to his visit in the human world. But with Pinkie at his side, he was sure to have a good coach.
“This button makes your character jump! This button lets you attack enemies! This button lets you use item and this button here makes your character do a shake.”
“Shake what?”
“Shake yo booty!”
Discord remained unimpressed. “I’m laughing out loud...”
“It’s not a joke, silly! Tirek will do it if you press that button.”
The old man pressed said button, torn between hoping that it was just a joke and hoping that it was real. After the betrayal he felt during Tirek’s rampage, he wanted nothing more than to see him be humiliated through whatever means possible. This was one of the reasons why he frequently went to Tartarus in his spare time.
Much to his joy, Pinkie wasn’t lying. “Ho ho ho! Now this is perfect! Yes, yes!”
The pink-haired girl giggled at Discord’s sudden spike in enthusiasm. “That’s the spirit! We’re having fun already!”
Their gaming session was then, strange from her perspective. Discord would frequently run into traps, take hits from various enemies and even purposefully get himself killed. “Uh... why are you trying to lose?”
All she got was more laughing fits coming from the once draconequus. “Oh, Pinkie Pie. You wouldn’t get it.” And just like that, he forgot why he even proposed the idea in the first place.
“I guess you’re right.” Pinkie stared at the window on her right, more specifically at the statue. But I'm sure my good friend over there would.
Sunset got herself a nice veggie burger for lunch. She was a little late to the party since she had a long exam this period and the teacher was kind enough to extend the duration past the period. Once she sat down next to her friends, she noticed that one of them was missing in action.
“Where’s Pinkie Pie?” she asked to the group.
“Pinkie? Oh, she ran off somewhere and muttered somethin’ ‘bout Maud needing a rock sandwich, I think.” Applejack answered.
Discord was also eating next to them which once again got him some strange looks from the other students, especially since he was awfully friendly to an uncomfortable Fluttershy again. Suddenly, Discord saw something peculiar from a nearby window. It was Pinkie Pie! And guess what; she was standing by the statue! The portal... I knew it! There’s two of them, but the other one is my Pinkie! I won’t let that slide!
In a flash, he jumped out of his seat, opened the window and dropped onto nearby bushes much to the girls’ shock.
“Wha- I can’t believe the mad lad just did that!” expressed Rainbow Dash as she leaned on the window and stared at the running old man.
Discord ran as fast as he could to catch his new enemy in the act. He was so close, just a small distance left to cover. “Pinkie Pie! I see what you’re trying to do!”
Pinkie turned around with a surprised look on her face. “Oh? You mean how I was just about to give Maud a rock sandwich?”
“Not that! I meant that you were about to greet your pony self into this world!” Confused, Pinkie stepped aside to reveal Maud leaning on the statue.
“She’s giving me a rock sandwich. I like them.” stated Maud in the most monotone voice the old teacher had ever heard.
“Huh?!” Discord couldn’t believe it; Pinkie was surely trolling him right now.
“My sister, who’s the best in the world, likes to hang around this cool looking statue! I like to spend time with her too, I don’t only have my friends after all!”
Exasperated, Discord left the scene. “Forget it, I’m just wasting my time here.”
A few seconds after he had left their views, Maud turned to her sister. “This was a good prank.” she stated.
“I know! Thanks for helping me, Maud! You're the best!”
Behind them, a third figure appeared, that of Pinkie Pie. “Does he know?”
The ‘human’ Pinkie Pie giggled. “No! I think he just gave up!”
“Ha ha ha! We are truly the best pranksters in all worlds!”
“Give it up for... the Pies!”
Maud removed the rocks from her delicious sandwich. “Just for your information; I don’t actually eat rocks. They’re not edible.”
“So Discord, what did you learn today?” Sunset asked curiously.
The ex-draconequus pouted on the sofa, still angry about his loss. “I learned to set realistic expectations, something I’m not used to considering realism is the last thing I want to experience.”
“W-Well, I didn’t hear any bad things regarding your classes in the afternoon, so I imagine it must have gone well?”
“It did, but at the cost of being mind-numbingly boring to me.”
Sunset giggled a bit before saying “You’re making progress, Discord. I’m sure the students as well as the faculty of the school are warming up to you. I also saw that you got closer to Pinkie Pie today which makes me happy to know that you’re interested in making friends there. You know, after your so-called punishment is over, you’re always welcome to come back to us.”
“Not sure I’d return to a place where I’m forced to give up my true nature just to exist...” Discord responded with his arms crossed. He then took a sip from his cup of coffee that Sunset so generously made for him.
“It was also hard for me to give up my magic the first time I got here but as you can see; I learned to live with this change. I’m sure you just need time like I did, Discord. Don’t be so harsh on this world.”
“Hard to be nice to it when I arrived with zero expectations to which they were somehow let down... I want another cup of coffee.”
“Ugh, make it yourself, lazy bone.”
Author's Note
No one can outpinkie Pinkie Pie(s)!
Friday part 1: Watch me hit the griddy!
Friday morning.
Rummaging through his stuff, Discord found a nice suit that he was going to wear for the party tonight. He looked at it and admired its class. Rarity may be quite annoying at times, but she’s got talent in fashion, he’ll give her that!
“Pretty nice, ay? She had enough time to make a suit for you, as for us; we had to buy our own dresses since she was short on time.” Sunset said
“Yeah, yeah, it’s very nice. Now, could you please get out of the bathroom? I’m going to change right now.”
Changing always takes a long time for the old man, which Sunset attributed to Discord simply not being used to doing it physically. You do become quite lazy when you rely on magic to do literally everything.
Thursday afternoon.
“Goodness gracious, Discord! You’re not seriously going to wear these crummy clothes to the party?”
“What’s wrong with them?”
Rarity’s eyes went from top to bottom, examining every detail of his attire before saying “You’ve been wearing them for the whole week. How are they not stinky?”
Sunset raised a hand. “I... took care of them.”
“Well, as a fashion designer, I can’t allow you to show up to such an important event without some stylish clothes to show off.”
Discord sighed. “Fine, go ahead but don’t make it obnoxious to wear. I know that you like to overdo it sometimes.”
Rarity smiled. “Alright then, off to Carousel Boutique.”
Fluttershy awkwardly inched herself closer to her friend. “Um, would you mind if come with you two? I need to get myself something for tomorrow... just like Discord.”
The fashion designer giggled. “But of course, darling! I’d be happy to help you!”
“And to help me too?” Discord asked, pointing a finger at himself.
“O-Oh, yes! You too, Discord.”
After a short trip on foot, the trio arrived at Carousel Boutique just in time for Rarity’s shift. After she was done preparing herself for her work, she came back to greet her two friends. “Well, who should I start with first?”
Fluttershy briefly glanced around the boutique, then at Discord. “Um, I believe I should let Discord get his attire first.”
“I believe Fluttershy should get a nice dress before you do anything for me, dear.”
Discord and Fluttershy looked at each other in surprise. Clearly, the young girl didn’t expect this response from him which made sense considering how he acted throughout the entire week. That level of friendliness and respect was nowhere to be seen whenever she wasn’t around.
The teacher scratched his head. “You don’t have to feel guilty about going in first; I won’t mind if you do.”
“N-No thanks; you should go first. I had all the time to think about buying a new dress while you only learned about the party this week. The fault is on me.”
“No Fluttershy, I insist you go first. I’m sure you care more about this party than I do since you’ve known these girls for years unlike me. I-”
Rarity groaned, unable to take this awkward exchange any longer. “Oh my gosh, just come with me, Discord! I need to get your measurements before I can make you a fancy suit for tomorrow!”
The fashionista grabbed him by the arm and pulled the old man away to a more private area. There, she immediately pulled out a ruler and began to measure his proportions. “Ah, let’s see here... Oh! That shouldn’t be too hard to make.”
She lifted his arms up, got him to stretch his back and much more in such a short amount of time that Discord felt disoriented with how quickly things were going.
“Are you done fondling me, Rarity?”
“Why yes! I have to get to work immediately! You’re going to adore this suit!”
After a while, the fashionista was done with her newest creation. Discord was very pleased by how it looked and thought to take a picture with Fluttershy once they got dressed up.
“So? Are you done changing up? I’d like to see how it looks on you, if you don’t mind.”
Sunset said as she waited in front of the bathroom’s door.
“I’m done and now, it’s time for admiration.” The door opened and Discord proudly stepped out of the bathroom, striking a fancy pose for extra points. The tuxedo Rarity made was exceptionally good, with just the right amount of flair to not look too over-the-top.
“Wow! Rarity was right when she said you’ll look amazing!”
“Heh, normally I’m not a big fan of dressing up, in fact I only do it for the sake of a joke but... I just can’t wait to see what Fluttershy will think of this attire!” The old man had an unusually cute look on his face when he mentioned the name of his closest friend, something that Sunset found simply adorable.
“Oh my, aren’t you quite the teddy bear when she’s around.” she jokingly replied.
This time, the attention Discord received as he walked down the school’s corridors was different. Students were no longer talking about the strange rumours regarding him and the Rainbooms but instead, they were talking about his sick tuxedo.
“Woah, dude. This guy’s got some serious drip!” a student pointed out.
“I heard he’s gonna hit the most serious griddy tonight at the party.” another student said.
Discord raised an eyebrow, perplexed at just what in the hay they were saying. Is... this supposed to be good? I honestly can’t quite tell. I guess human speech must be vastly different to pony speech.
He was, after all, an outsider just like Sunset Shimmer was. Sunset Shimmer... Oh yeah, Sunset! She should know what stuff like “drip” and “griddy” means. He should ask her about these during recess but first; he’s got a class to give and once again, it was the one with both Fluttershy and Trixie in it. This should be interesting... or maybe awful, who knows.
“Good morning everypo-everybody!” he joyfully said as he watched the students slowly pouring in. These students were still icky about the whole “helping a student cheat at an exam” incident but Discord knew he could make up for his screw up.
Nobody looked like they wanted to be here but that’s pretty common amongst high school students. Thus, it wasn’t a bad sign for the ex-draconequus who was confident in his performance as a teacher since he added some flair and showbiz for today’s lesson. Of course, the goal wasn’t to make a comedy show but some jokes here and there would do wonders to keep his class’ attention.
Discord began his routine like he was making a sketch or something and quickly realised that being a joker was a step in the right direction. Students were paying more attention to him and thus, he decided to start reciting today’s lesson while keeping the same tone as before. I’m getting the hang of it. Hey! This isn’t as hard as I thought it would be!
Throughout the class, Fluttershy couldn’t help but notice that she was getting extra attention from the teacher. He would of course, look at every student to maintain their attention but he often made eye contact with her. The more it went on, the more Fluttershy hid her face behind her hair, looking down at the ground so her face would be as hidden as possible.
Trixie also noticed this extra attention Fluttershy was getting and thus, the magician was wincing at Discord, letting the old teacher know that she has her eyes on him. At this point, it became a strange game of trying to sneak a quick peek at Fluttershy all the while avoiding Trixie’s ire. Discord didn’t mind this, oh, quite the contrary; he loved it!
The other students were completely in the dark as to what was going on. All they saw was an old man bizarrely throwing side eyes at a specific portion of the class. It became funny to some, forcing them to hold in their laughter.
Finally, the bell rang and the students left, except for Fluttershy who remained as still as a statue. Discord walked up to her with a proud look on his face. “So Flutters; how did you like today’s class? I’d say I got much better at teaching.”
Fluttershy muttered something, but it was barely audible.
“Hm?” Discord leaned closer, moving his head to the side so he could hear better.
“Um, g-good...” Now, he could hear her, but it was still difficult to make out her words.
“That’s great to hear, Fluttershy! I’ve put more thought into my job and I see it paid off! Oh, I can’t wait to tell the other Fluttershy that I've finally got a job just like she always wanted! I now know about responsibility!” But... does he though? I guess we’ll find out if we move along.
Fluttershy sat outside, basking in the sunlight and enjoying the company of the many critters roaming around the school.
With her friends, she’s far less nervous than usual but it’s still not enough to calm down her anxiety. It ain’t easy for someone like her to stay inside a building that’s usually filled to the brim with people, so getting some fresh air away from everybody was a necessity for her.
During this time, she doesn’t mind being with a friend just as long as she remains in an area that’s not overcrowded. Thus, Twi came to sit by her side alongside Spike the dog. The tech-savvy girl arrived with an over cumbered backpack as always since her pet filled a lot of space in it. Tired, she quickly placed it down and ushered Spike to jump out.
“Wooh! Finally some fresh air for me!” exclaimed the puppy as he danced around the field.
“Just don’t go too far, Spike! We only have 15 minutes, remember?” Twi shouted as her dog ran into nearby bushes.
“Don’t have to worry this time!”
After the frame of the puppy vanished behind the bushes, the two girls were now alone in a comfy place. Fluttershy was practically covered in critters as they really liked to cling onto her for these animals remembered her various acts of kindness, which mainly involved giving them food. Nobody can say no to a free food dispenser!
“So... how was Discord’s class? Did he stir up another drama or was it fine?” Twi quickly asked, too curious to wait a few more seconds.
Fluttershy took some time to answer for she didn’t expect her friend to immediately ask her a question the very second Spike left their view. “Oh, um, it was alright. I didn’t quite like the extra attention he brought on me.”
“Extra attention? What did he do this time?” Twi followed up.
“He glanced at me on multiple occasions. It wasn’t anything terrible, but I feel like it got other people to stare at me too... and that made me very nervous.” Fluttershy responded, shuddering at the thought of having the entire class’ gaze upon her.
“Oh, that’s not so bad. I honestly expected worse.” Twi said, almost sounding disappointed at how underwhelming this was.
“There is worse.” Fluttershy continued. “He took a picture when we were both dressed in our clothes for the party and sent it on social media. Now everybody think we are somehow hooking up but that’s just not true! Everyone believes I'm a weirdo that is dating an old man!” she said, shuddering at the judgemental looks she’d be receiving for the rest of her high school days thanks to one awful rumour.
Twi took out an apple from her lunchbox and took a bite. “Oh, yeah; this is bad. Well, you could just tell him to dial it down with the special treatment if you’re not comfortable with it. I’m sure the rumours will die down afterward.”
“Yeah, I know but it’s just that... he really seems to appreciate the pony me to the point that he already views me as his best friend even though I don’t know him. You see, I just don’t want to hurt his feelings.” Fluttershy explained, sinking her face deeper into her crossed arms.
Twi swallowed her bite, taking another one from her lunchbox to offer it to her shy friend. “I’m sure you’ll hurt him more if you keep your honest feelings to yourself. You should tell him; I'm certain he’ll understand since he seems to be really good friend with the other you.”
Fluttershy took the apple and thanked Twi. It was so clean that she could see her reflection in it. Staring at it for a while, she finally made her decision. “You’re right, Twilight. I should let him know. After all, I don’t think he’s going to give up on being my friend even if I end up hurting his feelings.”
“I think he’s going to be monitoring the cafeteria again. That’ll be a good time, don’t you agree?”
The birds that were perched on her shoulders sang to her in their lovely voices, causing her to giggle. “Even the birds agree with you, Twilight! All right, at lunch time, I’ll say it no matter what and if I struggle to; give me a little push, got it?”
“Sure! Though I’m sure you won’t need that little push, I just know you can do it!”
Later that day, Fluttershy and Twi searched around the school for Discord. The two girls eventually found him talking to Sunset Shimmer next to her locker.
“No, seriously Sunset; what does ‘hitting the griddy means’? I constantly hear people talking about how I'm going to ‘hit the griddy tonight’ and I don’t know if I should find this concerning or not.” asked the old man.
“I believe it just means they think you’re gonna bust some sick dance moves during the party. You honestly look like you’re secretly good at dancing.” she explained as she picked up some stuff from her locker.
Discord’s mouth contorted into a proud smile. “Ha! When it comes down to entertainment; I can do no wrong. I’ll be a real crowd pleaser tonight!”
Behind them, Fluttershy and Twi watched as they talked. The shy girl had to muster up some courage to confront Discord about his uncomfortable behavior and her lavender friend’s help was very much needed right now.
“D’oh... I don’t know if I can actually do it. He seems so nice and innocent; I can’t hurt an old person’s feeling.” Fluttershy admitted as she looked down at the ground, letting her hair cover most of her face.
Twi scratched her head, perplexed at this sudden shift in confidence. “Why old people specifically?”
“Because old people are the greatest. They’re full of wisdom and experience.”
This statement is Granny Smith approved by the way.
“Well, if he’s so full of wisdom and experience, then I’m sure he’ll take it well! Come on Flutters, you have no reason to be nervous. I’ll stay behind to give you moral support just in case.”
Fluttershy sulked in place for a bit but eventually found some confidence to finally have an important discussion with Discord.
She awkwardly walked up to the two talking, taking a deep breath and opened her mouth to speak but atlas, a little monkey wrench was thrown in her plan; Trixie. Her locker was close to Sunset Shimmer, and just so happened to be between Fluttershy and Discord. The magician gave the teacher the stink eye while the latter crossed his arms and winced.
“Am I disturbing you, oh great and powerful Trrrixie?” he said spitefully.
Trixie flipped her hair and opened her locker while she avoided making any eye contact. “I’m inclined to say yes, but you’re always disturbing me so I feel like it's pointless to say it out loud.”
“But if you’re so great and powerful then why are you bothered by me? Shouldn’t I be so beneath you that you wouldn’t even want to care about my very presence?”
Fluttershy awkwardly stayed behind and watched their heated conversation taking place. It would be rude to interrupt them now, wouldn’t it? At the same time, she had something important to say but now was probably not the best time. Maybe if she waited until they were done...
Trixie finished taking her stuff out and slammed her door shut, turning around to finally face Discord. “Because you always make a show of yourself but what interesting qualities do you have compared to me? I’m a Great and Powerful magician while you’re just a boomer who’s desperate to stay hip.”
Sunset rolled her eyes at this. These two just wouldn’t let it go even after the cheating incident was resolved. “Uh guys? Can’t you just call it even and move on? This is starting to get old.”
“He’s starting to get old and senile!” Trixie barked.
“And she’s starting to sound like a hysterical old lady!” Discord retorted.
Sunset Shimmer face palmed before moving away from this confrontation. “Suit yourselves. I’m going to do something productive in the meantime while you two continue your Twitter debate.”
Fluttershy started to feel nervous. She turned around to look at Twi who motioned at her to do something. At this rate, they’d have to go back to their class before the shy girl could tell Discord what was on her mind.
Understanding this, Fluttershy took a few steps forward and tried to gain their attention. “Um, excuse me, guys. I ha-”
It was no use; these two were stuck in their own worlds at this point. Although, Discord did give her a few quick glances to indicate that he is aware of her presence. It’s just that he’s perhaps a little too busy arguing with a teenage girl to hear her out.
“Tonight’s party, I’ll make you eat your words, Discord.”
“With what? A disappearing finger trick? Oh please, I can do so much better than you!”
No luck, the bell rang after a few minutes and these two bickered during all this time which meant that Fluttershy would tell him later that day. She walked back to Twi in defeat, looking distraught at her failure.
Twi placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. “Now that was plain unlucky, but, uh, you still have the rest of the day to tell him, right? Don’t beat yourself over it, Flutters.”
“But I should be quick to do it, otherwise the rumours will grow to be even meaner and nastier. I’m scared to know what people are currently thinking of me.” Fluttershy sulked, burying her face even further behind her hair.
“You did save the school at least three times already, plus we saved Camp Evergreen together so I'm sure the school’s perception of you is mostly favorable. One bad rumour isn’t going to wash it all away, they’ll forever remember all your exploits.”
Feeling more reassured, Fluttershy headed over to her class with Twi, now more determined than ever to best these pesky rumours as well as the uncomfortable kindness that characterise her current relationship with Discord.
Inside the gymnasium, Applejack and Pinkie Pie were working hard to prepare the place for the party that was scheduled to start this afternoon. It was something they were quite used to doing alongside Big Macintosh who always volunteered to offer a helping hand. During this time, Fluttershy went to check on their progress, bringing food and drinks for them as well.
“Mighty appreciate your kind help, Flutters. We couldn’t have gotten this much done without ya.” Applejack said as she reached out for some apple juice. “Hm! And this juice’s pretty darn good!”
“Oh, thanks Applejack. I made all the snacks myself, even the juice.” Fluttershy affirmed right as Pinkie Pie lunged into the plate and took a lot of the snacks just for herself. Applejack snatched some of the snacks right out of her hands.
“Heya! Might wanna leave some for us too, Pinkie!”
“He he he! Sorry, it’s just that I'm so hungry! My stomach is practically starting to sound like a dinosaur; just listen!” Her stomach growled with such intensity that it made the two of them briefly uncomfortable. “Now it’s bity bite time!”
Applejack’s phone vibrated and she took it out of her pocket to check what was up. It was a notification about her social media account. Looking at it, she groaned and quickly put her phone away in exasperation.
“What’s wrong?” Fluttershy asked.
“Ugh, it’s just more of them nasty rumours slandering all seven of us and Discord too.” Applejack answered before chugging down her glass of apple juice in mere seconds.
“Oh, not these rumours again...” She lowered her head, almost causing her hair to slip into the glasses of apple juice.
“They even made memes about us! Here, just look at this. This one’s called Fluttercord.” The country girl showed her friend a meme posted on Twitter depicting a photo of a wedding, but with Fluttershy and Discord’s faces photoshopped on the bride and the groom.
“Oh dear...”
“E-yup. Pretty bad.” said Big Macintosh as he passed by them.
“And that’s just the tip of the iceberg, I'm afraid. There’s one for all of us.” She scrolled further, showing more memes about Discord and the girls, each depicting them in a romantic kind of situation. “And there’s dumb stuff alongside it saying somethin’ like ‘Discord and the Rainbooms be like’. It’s not just embarrassing at this point; it’s slander!”
Pinkie Pie stared at the memes and laughed at each one of them. Applejack grew somewhat annoyed by her nonchalant attitude and thus, showed one with her on it.
“Ha ha h- oh... It’s not as funny anymore.”
“It never was to begin with, Pinkie.”
Now Fluttershy knew that it wasn’t just about her feelings of being uncomfortable near Discord anymore; it was about saving all of their reputation, including the old man since he didn’t do much wrong. A little bit of wrong, but still redeemable, which is quite hilarious to say since he’s supposed to be reformed already.
“I’ll try to disprove these rumours, first by talking with Discord about his behavior.” Fluttershy affirmed but the country girl wasn’t sure it would work.
Pinkie Pie, however, believed that it was going to fix everything. “Yeah! And once people see that there’s nothing romantic nor is there any harem stuff going on, they’ll leave us alone with these rumours!”
“I think ya might be livin’ in an ideal world where all our problems can just be snapped away. It’ll take some time even after we disproved them rumours.”
The party was fast approaching and all students and teachers were quite feverish for the upcoming event. There was only a mere hour left before all Tartarus could break loose on the school. Discord sure was excited to finally leave his post and party hard as he was teaching Sunset’s class. Most of the students there were staring at the clock occasionally, wishing that it would all come to an end soon.
“Oh dear, I can’t last another hour. I just want to party for this Friday night...” Sunset said as her head slowly lied down on her desk.
Twi heard her friend’s cry for help (that’s kind of the vibe Sunset was emanating) and said: “While I do have a lot of fun learning, I gotta admit that partying with my friends does sound a lot more fun. But atlas, it’s no reason to be not paying attention, Sunset.”
Discord grew tired of his boring lesson and simply tossed his notebook to the side. “Oh whatever, it’s not like any of you care. How about we do something fun before the party?”
“Oh come on...” Twi muttered.
Bulk Biceps raised his hand up and waved it excitedly. “I heard you were going to hit the griddy tonight! Is that really true?”
Discord smiled since he now knew what that expression meant. “Of course it’s true! Just because I’m old doesn’t mean that I can’t bust out some cool moves.”
“Does that mean you’re going to join the dance competition too?” Lyra asked.
“A dance competition? Sure, I’ll join. It sounds fun. Though I'm going to win this one by a landslide since I'm also secretly a great dancer. ” Discord was very confident in himself, especially since his current body doesn’t move all that differently from his old draconequus one. He should probably practice just in case.
Disappointed at the sudden turn, Twi rested her head on her arms. “I guess nobody sees the fun in learning anymore... Although, I get why they’re more excited for the party. The amount of dopamine secreted by the hypothalamus gives them a feeling of pleasure, which occurs more frequently for activities that requires less thinking and mental investment. Thus, they are more likely to-”
Discord slammed his hands on her desk with a bored expression. “Gee, Twilight; you’re such. A nerd. Just relax and watch me hit the griddy already.”
"Hey! What gives you any rights to talk down to students like that?"
"I've got 27 million power-"
Author's Note
By Schrödinger's cat! He actually did it! He hit the griddy!
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Friday part 2: Get your grooves on, Discord!
After a long, long day of school, it was finally time for everybody to party. On the ringing of the bell, every student rushed to the gymnasium while others went to their lockers to fetch their clothes for the night.
As for Discord? He was inside the boy’s restroom, practicing some dance moves in front of a mirror. There will be a talent show at the party and he was going to dance in it. “Come on now, Discord; this shouldn’t be too different from what I do in Equestria, as a draconequus of course.”
A human body and a draconequus are, however, quite different in certain regards. His legs were longer as a human, the same went for his arms who were also symmetrical unlike his chaotic appearance in Equestria. This simple change was more than enough to throw him off his game as while the dance he performed in class was easy enough, this one demanded more concentration and moved a lot more.
Discord tripped and tumbled many times, but he knew that he had to get it right, or else he’ll make a fool out of himself.
Magic was also out of the question, which sucked since it would have allowed him to mask his shortcomings. Come to think of it, he always used his unfathomable as a crutch. I mean, he barely even walks as a draconequus which is probably why his legs are aching at the moment.
“Come on, Discord; you can get it right.” He tried and tried again, slowly but surely seeing some progress made as he got used to dancing in this orderly body. Eventually, he started to have a lot of fun dancing by his lonesome inside the restroom and thus, he hummed a tune that got stuck in his head.
One of the stall’s opened suddenly, startling Discord as he quickly acted like he was doing something else.
“Oh, uh, hey Mister Discord. I thought you were already at the gymnasium.” It was Flash Sentry who interrupted his dancing session.
“I was just making sure I looked good before I’d go on to party.” blurted out an embarrassed Discord.
“I was also doing the same thing, but then I really felt like I had to go so, uh, I hope you didn’t hear any of it.” Flash said as he scratched the back of his head.
“Thankfully, I didn’t. And I don’t want to hear about it now.” the old man responded as he stared at his reflection in admiration. He’s still getting used to the way humans look, but gosh darn if he’s still looking as good as ever under this new form!
Flash Sentry washed his hands and dried them all the while Discord was striking poses in front of the mirror. He was keeping an eye on the student and watched him leave before he stopped this ridiculous display of vanity to focus back on the important matter at hand.
I absolutely must impress all of them! My friends, the students, the teachers and... Fluttershy! I’ll show them Discord’s groove!
“Alright, three, two, one, go.”
Discord began to dance, but then the door opened and Micro Chips entered the restroom.
“What the?”
“Grah! I’ll just use the janitor’s closet then.”
“Where in tarnation is he? The party’s just about to start.” Applejack wondered as she looked around the gymnasium.
Principal Celestia, vice-principal Luna and all the other teachers were already on stage, ready to announce the start of the event and yet, Discord was nowhere to be seen. Odd since you’d expect him to be at the forefront of the festivities.
“I guess he must be preparing himself to hit the griddy, as he said quite often in today’s class.” Twi said. “He’s adapting quite rapidly to his new environment, I gotta say.”
“At least he’s enjoying himself in this world. I was afraid he’ll reject it simply because he can’t use his magic as a human.” Sunset added on a positive note.
“Well, magic doesn’t define who you are as a person, so I'm glad to see that Discord is learning this.” Fluttershy affirmed.
“He still has one more lesson to learn, doesn’t he?” Rainbow Dash said as she leaned closer to Fluttershy.
The shy girl lowered her head in anxiety. “Oh, y-yeah. I’ll tell him as soon as I can. I just hope it won’t bring down his mood especially since it’ll be so soon in the party.”
Sunset Shimmer placed a hand on her friend’s shoulder and smiled. “Don’t worry about it, Flutters. We’ll cheer him up if that’s the case.”
“Heh... Thanks girls.”
In the meantime, Rarity was growing ever more impatient. “Can he please come already? I want to see my work in all its full glory!”
“Come on, come on! Friends aren’t supposed to keep us waiting! I wanna dance with him! Play with him! Talk more with my childhood hero!” Pinkie blurted out as she struggled to keep herself in place.
“I almost forgot about that cartoon! It must be funny for you all to see the real Discord in place of the fictional cartoon character.” Sunset said.
“It isn’t just funny to me! It’s super-duper awesome!” Pinkie responded as she bounced around in place.
“And next thing we know... we’re in the Matrix.” Rainbow Dash added.
In the back, Snips and Snails had their eyes glued to their phone, mostly on their camera as they frantically searched around for Discord.
“Where is he? We can’t afford to miss his dance moves if we want our video to go viral.” Snips said as he jumped in place to get a better view.
“How are we going to call our video? I’m thinking maybe something like ‘quirked up white man with a little bit of swag bust down senile style. Is he goated with the sauce?’. Does that sound good?” Snails proposed.
“Woah, dude! That’s perfect!”
“I know!”
Not too far from these two idiots, Trixie stood there, leaning against the wall. She was holding a few smoke bombs in her hands to which she stared at. Tonight, was going to be her chance to make a great impression as an aspiring magician. It would also be her chance to show Discord that she’s the better entertainer. Overall, it was a very important night for her, and she was going to give it her all.
“You may consider yourself great and powerful, but atlas, I’m the Greater and More Powerful Trrrixie. You’re just an old man who’s desperate to stay hip and that sure doesn’t fly by today’s standard... filthy boomer.”
Her phone vibrated in her pockets. “Oh? It’s time already? Very well, off to practice.”
“Grah! Sunnava.... Evidently, choosing the janitor’s closet wasn’t the wisest decision I've made.”
Indeed, it wasn’t. Discord was trying to dance in a rather claustrophobic closet and thus hit his arms and legs constantly.
The only good thing about this closet was the lack of cameras, but that sure wasn’t helpful considering what he’s attempting to do.
“Oh well... I’m chaos incarnate. I’ve existed for millennia's, dancing in front of a school is no biggy for someone like me.” He said as he readjusted his tie. “I’m just gonna go on stage and be awesome to which I already am all the time on a daily basis.”
He slammed the door open, accidentally knocking out Derpy Hooves as she was passing by.
“Oh, hey Derpy.” He briefly said as he walked pass her in direction of the gymnasium.
Derpy quickly regained her senses and got up, noticing Discord as she did. “Hey, Discord!”
The old man stopped and looked over his shoulder. “Yes?”
The quirky girl reached for something behind her back and pulled out a muffin. “Want a stress-reliever muffin?”
“Well, I’m not really anxious or anything but I’ll take the muffin anyway. Thanks for the treat, Derpy.” Discord said, lying about his stress.
“Good luck out there!” Derpy said as she waved him goodbye.
Aw, isn’t she such a treat? Hey, hold on... “The party’s the other way in case you didn’t know...”
“Oh really? He he, my bad!”
“Why did you want to see me, Trixie?”
Flash Sentry waited in the hall for a bit before the aspiring magician arrived as she had promised. The text he had received from her didn’t specify why she wanted to see him, but he supposed it must be important. Now, these two weren’t best friends or anything but Flash can’t help himself to lend a helping hand to others, even if he barely knew them.
“The Great and Powerful Trixie will perform on stage tonight but she is facing a problem she can’t solve alone.” Trixie started.
“And that problem is?”
“Some tricks require a second person in order to work, but poor Trixie has no one... Will you be my assistant just for the night?” She said as she grabbed her hat and gave him the puppy’s eyes.
Flash Sentry was about to respond, but stopped himself just before he could give a hasty one. He thought about it for a moment and realised that there wasn’t much to gain by saying no to her. With luck, Trixie might be kinder to him after her performance. Who knows, maybe she’ll even want to become friends with him! She doesn’t look all that bad if you see past her high and mighty attitude that is admittedly a tad bit annoying at times.
Flash smiled at her. “Hum, sure Trixie, I’ll help you.”
Trixie’s face lit up like a shooting star. “Really? You’d help the Grateful and Humble Trixie?”
“I’d be glad to.” The aspiring magician had to calm herself down because of how much she was happy to finally have an assistant, even if it was for just this party. It was still better than to be a lone wolf to which she had grown accustomed to over the years.
“Then come with me. Trixie requires your services right now.”
“Hold on a minute... I think I’m lost.” Discord realised he still doesn’t know the layout of the school even after spending a few days there. Then again, he only really went to his class, the cafeteria and the entrance. The rest was alien to him. He was essentially a headless chicken strolling around an unfamiliar location.
Now where could the gymnasium be? It can’t be that far from my current position, right? I mean, I’d hear the party going on if I was close to it.
He could, in fact, hear the party in the distance but it was heavily muffled. He was quite far.
“Ooh! Need help, Discord?” That voice...
“Pinkie Pie? Why aren’t you already at the party?” Discord asked, confused at the mere sight of Pinkie Pie being away from such an important event.
“Because I’m not going to party without my cool new friend! You’re part of our group, right? Then, we shall party together!” Pinkie explained as she dropped from the ceiling and hugged the old man.
“Cool, more popping up from the ceiling... How did you know I was here?”
“I didn’t! I was just running around the school like a headless chicken until I happened to find you!” Pinkie exclaimed as she imitated a headless chicken to which Discord found it amusing.
“Well, in that case, you can lead me to the gymnasium, can’t you?”
Pinkie Pie looked around the many hallways in the school with an oddly nervous expression. “Uh oh... I think I may have a memory blank, he he. I guess we’ll just have to look around and hope we find it in time! Hey, on the upside we’ll get to spend some time together!”
Discord frowned. “Wahoo... Just my luck.”
At this point, the party had already started and everybody was dancing along to the music. Things were going great, but the Rainbooms were more concerned with Discord than the party itself.
“We can’t let him miss all the fun! What kinda friends would we be if we left him out of this?” Applejack said to the rest of the group.
“Don’t worry girls! I know someone who can bring him to us!” Pinkie Pie joyfully exclaimed.
“Great! Can you send them to find Discord in the school?” Sunset Shimmer asked.
“That’s already done, Shimmy!”
“Ooh! Ooh! The music’s getting louder! That means we’re getting closer!”
Discord breathed a sigh of relief, finally he was closing in on the party. Pinkie’s erratic decision making and bouncy nature made it difficult to follow her throughout the school, so it took more time than it should have to arrive at the gymnasium.
“Finally, it’s high time I show everybody what I’m made of. Spoiler alert; it’s 100% pure awesomeness.” Discord exclaimed to the pink-haired girl.
“I have no doubts you’ll leave everyone in awe, Discord! You’re the best!”
“That I am.”
The old man opened the door and joined up with the rest of the partygoers. The event was quite impressive; lots of decorations, a light show, a DJ and food stand showed there was a lot of effort put into it. Discord looked back only to notice that Pinkie Pie was gone.
“Uh, Pinkie?” He looked around and eventually found her hanging by her friends though it was difficult to make her out amongst the crowd. “How did she sneak past me like that?”
The deafening volume of the music was probably why. Anyhow, Discord wanted to bust down senile style at the party, and who better to see it first than his friends? Cough cough, Fluttershy.
As he made his way towards them, he bumped into the last person he’d like to chat with. “Hey watch it!”
Discord noticed that Flash Sentry was standing by her side, unusual considering those two barely even talked outside of class. “So, you’ve made a friend? How cute.”
“He’s uh...” Trixie glanced briefly at Flash, before continuing. “j-just my assistant for tonight. Nothing more, nothing less.”
Her assistant looked rather disappointed by her answer. Nevertheless, he stood up for her. “Why don’t you go bother other students, Discord? We’re just preparing ourselves for the upcoming spectacles.”
“Heh, thanks assistant. A good assistant always assists his master, even outside of the show.” Trixie commented.
Discord watched the both of them leave and then a thought came to mind. W-wait a minute... Am I becoming the bad guy again? Oh whatever; I’ll think about it later. For now, I must hit the griddy for Fluttershy.
“Hey Discord. Took your sweet time, ay?” Applejack said as she saw the old teacher finally joining them.
The old man pulled out a pair of sunglasses and putted them on to give himself a more professional look. “Yes I did. I had to perfect my dancing skills before I could put on a show.”
Rainbow Dash spun towards Discord and asked: “So, you practice dancing before coming? Mind telling us what kind of dance are you gonna be doing for tonight?”
“Why it’s none other than the dance utilised by the greatest pop singer ever! You know him, and you’ll be impressed at my sick moves, Dashy.” Discord responded, lifting his sunglasses to give Rainbow Dash a smug glare.
“I thought you were gonna call it seizure or something...”
Fluttershy awkwardly inched herself closer to the old teacher and said something. He couldn’t hear it for her voice was terribly drowned out by the music and the cheers of the partygoers.
“I’m sorry Fluttershy; I-I can’t hear you over the sound of the party. Could you repeat?” He said as he leaned over to her, tilting his head to the side so his ear could face his friend.
“I s... co... you........... please? It’s not....anything.... just that I find....... table.”
“Oh, uh... sure thing Flutters!” Discord exclaimed, having clearly not understood what she said to him. He was good at guessing what his friend wanted, so with a completely different idea in mind, he left the group in search of... something?
So many drinks to choose, so much food to eat, it was overwhelming for Bulk Bicep and his refined taste buds. He stood there, mesmerised at the various options available, mostly wondering how the school was able to afford this much food just for this party alone. Guess things must have changed ever since Sunset Shimmer turned into a demon.
Yeah, speaking of that, the school has become very popular around the country for all of the Equestrian magic incidents. As such, the ever so growing attention brought onto it has also allowed for more funding coming from “mysterious donators”, but that’s not important right now. What was important, was how Bulk Bicep was going to destroy his mouth with all this delicious pastry.
He was so enthralled by the buffet that he didn’t notice Discord moonwalking over to him, slipping past him to steal a bit of food from his plate.
“Yeah! Bacon!” Bulk grabbed a nearby pincher and took some of that sweet bacon and that’s when he noticed some things were now missing from his plate. The missing food was comically replaced with cheese... and vegetables.
“Be careful what you eat. With a physique like yours, you’d want to avoid trans-fat. It’s bad for your health.” Well, he’s not wrong.
Bulk Bicep sighed. “Yes sir.”
“Hmpf! Still bossing people around I see.” Trixie was close by alongside Flash, both picking food for they want to have a full stomach before their performance.
“I’d rather call it; taking care of my student’s health, thank you very much.” Discord corrected.
“It’s hardly altruistic when you employ your usual condescending tone, old timer.” Trixie responded.
“I appreciate the criticism, Trixie. But shouldn’t you be more concerned about your performance? I know I am.”
Flash interjected. “He’s right, Trixie. We should practice one last time.”
“Fine, we’ll see who wins the best performance award after our magic show, Discord.”
After they left, Discord realised he had forgotten why he even came to the buffet.
“Oh snap! I must bring Fluttershy her favorite food!”
Later in the party, Trixie and Flash were prepping themselves for their magical act backstage. A few other contestants for the talent show were there, but Discord was nowhere in sight for the moment.
“So, uh, what kind of tricks will you do? And most importantly, how can I help you with them?” Flash asked.
Trixie pulled out a variety of items from her bag. “Disappearing pencil trick! Smoke bomb entrance! Card guessing! I have them all, Flash! I, the Great and Powerful Trrrixie will only need you to perform simple commands. I’ll just say things like, ‘bring me this’ or ‘say a number between 1 and 10’, you know, stuff you don’t need to practice.”
“Oh, w-well that’s good. I’m happy to help, Trixie and, uh, if you ever need any help in the future... you could ask me to lend a hand.”
Trixie stopped and stared for a moment, taken aback by such a nice offer. Her face showed a much different emotion from her usual high and mighty look. “Um, Trixie appreciates your kindness, assistant.”
Suddenly, someone jumped on stage with them. “Swag.” It was Discord, who was now looking more confident than ever in his human body. “As of today, I’m straight up ballin.”
Trixie’s face turned cold once more. “Great... him again.”
Now wearing a sick-looking hat, Discord proudly moved next to the other contestants. “Yes, I’m back, and I've got some new tricks. This is gonna become a viral video by the end of the night, I can already tell.”
On the other side of the curtains, Principal Celestia was just about to announce the start of the talent show. “Ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to Canterlot High’s talent show! Tonight, we have 9 wonderful participants who will demonstrate their special talent! Let’s all be respectful and give a round of applause for the first participant; Twilight Sparkle!
Discord leaned forward out of surprise. “Huh?! I didn’t know she was going to be in this show!”
Trixie stared intently at the invention Twi was holding in her hands with discontent. “Ugh, this girl’s such a nerd. I can’t let the people be swayed by mere machinery. My magic will woo them into giving me first place, right assistant?”
Flash gave her an awkward thumbs up. “Y-yeah. I’m sure you’ll do great, Trixie.”
Discord began his stretching routine, now packing dancing clothes. As he did, he could feel his bones cracking. “Oh my, I believe I may be currently experiencing mortality. It’s quite... unpleasant, but thankfully I don’t have a lot of time left before I get to return home.”
Twi stepped on stage with her newest invention yet; a cooking robot from what it looked like. Feeling admittedly nervous now that everyone’s eyes were on her, the nerdy girl cleared her throat. “Well, I, uh, present my newest invention. It’s a cooking robot for when you simply don’t have the time to cook. I’ll just let it do its thing so you can get a better picture of what it’s capable of.”
From behind the curtains, Discord looked unimpressed. “Pff, I can cook minute rice in 30 seconds. An invention like that doesn’t mean much to me.” Then again, he can do practically anything thanks to his magic, so it’s not like his opinion holds any weight.
“I once heard that Discord the draconequus ordered a steak at a restaurant.” Flash said casually.
“Yes, and?” Discord asked.
“The steak did what it was told.”
Discord laughed. “Okay, okay. That’s pretty good, funny man. And here I thought you were just plain boring; guess I was wrong about you.”
“I... for some reason get that a lot. Well, either that or I get called Brad for some reason.”
“Oh please; give me another one!”
“O-Okay then, um... Discord’s calendar go from March 31 to April 2nd because no one fools Discord.”
Discord clapped his hands in approval. “Amazing! So it would seem that I have become Chuck Norris in this world, haven’t I?”
“Shush!” Trixie hushed them for she was busy listening to Twi introducing her invention. She was gaging her performance to then compare it to her magic act. “Trixie is listening!”
“Discord doesn’t care much my dear.” Discord added in a mocking tone.
Flash walked up to the magician with a comforting look on his face. “Don’t stress yourself over winning, Trixie. All that matters is that you leave a good impression on the crowd. I mean, being a beloved magician has always been your dream, right?”
Trixie sighed. “Yeah, but I still want everyone to remember my performance. People always tend to remember the winner more than the other participants. This is why Trixie must be the best!”
Flash chuckled. “I’m sure people already remember you pretty well for all the stunts you’ve pulled over the years at this high school. I mean, you did technically win the Battle of the Bands which I found very impressive, cause, like, you beat us back there!”
Discord raised an eyebrow. So, she’s actually talented at something else other than magic? Go figure.
Trixie couldn’t help herself but smile confidently. “Yeah, I almost forgot about that because of the whole siren thing but... yeah, I won. Ha ha ha! Trixie can do almost anything she wants to for she is powerful and great! Being super great is just in my nature.” she finished by twirling her hair with sass.
“Next up; we have the magician, Trixie Lulamoon!” Celestia announced.
Luna tapped her shoulder and whispered something into her ear.
“And her new assistant; Flash Sentry!”
From behind the curtains, Trixie gasped. “It is our turn! Quick assistant, fetch me the equipment now! We don’t have much time!”
“Y-Yes Trixie!”
In the meantime, Discord looked at the other participants. He recognised some familiar faces; Lyra and Bon Bon as always, Snips and Snails which was surprising to think that they have any talents beside being dumb as a brick and lastly, Bulk Bicep.
“So, Bulk; whatcha doin’ tonight?” he asked in a hip sounding voice.
“I’m playing on the world’s smallest violin! Look!” Bulk pulled out a comically small violin and played a sad tune on it.
“This is gonna be so easy.”
On stage, Trixie was performing all the tricks she had learned up to this point, with a bit of help from her new assistant of course. The crowd was in awe at her expertise has she masterfully executed every trick without fail.
Their cheers got to Discord, who felt threatened by how well she was doing. At this rate, the crowd will be more likely to declare her as the winner alongside the two sisters. I must do something now.
“And now for Trixie’s finest trick yet; the, huh?!” Music started playing over the speakers, which there wasn’t supposed to be any for her performance. “W-who... Discord!”
Discord came out of the curtain with sassy look as the song kicked in. “Ladies and gentlemen, you wanted to see me hit the griddy; so let’s get it on.”
Being very familiar with the disco era, the old man started busting some 70’s inspired dance moves. In little time, he won the crowd over as their attention shifted from Trixie to him now.
“You gotta be kidding me.” Trixie muttered as she realised, she’ll have to go higher than before to reclaim their admiration. She dropped a pencil that she used for one of her tricks and rolled it towards Discord.
Too focused on his sick moves, the teacher failed to notice the hazard coming his way and tripped. “Argh! My back!”
“Ladies and gentlemen, the Great and Powerful Trixie will now perform a very daring trick for you. I will put Flash Sentry inside a coffin and saw him in half!” Now the crowd was invested in what she had to offer.
Flash’s jaw dropped. “What?! T-this trick of all?!”
“Yes indeed.” Briefly responded the magician.
“Please tell me you know what you’re doing.”
“Trixie is the greatest magician in Canterlot City; of course she knows what she’s doing.”
She snapped her finger, indicating to Flash that he had to bring the coffin to her. “This is a trick that has been passed down in my bloodline of great and powerful magicians. Today, you will get to witness it thanks to yours truly.”
Flash gazed nervously at the coffin. “I-I believe I should h-hop in, right?”
Trixie nodded “Yes, I am ready to commence.”
The young man hopped in and Trixie closed the coffin, leaving only his head and feet sticking out from both ends. The magician then lifted her saw high up in the air for all to see.
“Now then, I will begin.”
In front of the stage, Celestia and Luna wondered if they should stop her, just in case something goes wrong. Nevertheless, she sawed through the coffin.
Flash Sentry watched, terrified but then, he was surprised. Her saw reached his abdomen, but he felt nothing. Then, the coffin split in two and he was still alive and well. To show that her trick wasn’t bogus, Trixie moved the two ends further away from each other.
Everybody gasped as they finally recognised her greatness as a magician. Even Discord was surprised.
“How did she do that without magic? Unless... she has actual magic like Sunset and Co. If that’s the case, then this whole world is just complete and utter garbage!”
Discord got up to resume his dancing routine only to be stopped by a terrible pain in his back. “What’s happening to me? It’s worse than being stuck as a statue for a millennium!”
Trixie reconnected the two pieces and opened the coffin, allowing an awestruck Flash Sentry to leave.
Discord hunched over in pain and coughed, catching the attention of both Celestia and Luna. The two jumped on stage to see what was wrong with the old man.
“Discord, are you alright?” Celestia asked with much concern in her voice.
“I believe my old age is catching up with me in this mortal body.”
“O...kay?”
“Well anyhow, your injury seems rather bad to me. We’re taking you to the infirmary.” Luna announced to the ex-draconequus.
“Aw, that’s not fair! I wanted to tell him tonight.” Fluttershy exclaimed as she watched Discord being escorted away.
Sunset placed an affectionate hand on her shoulder. “Don’t fret Fluttershy; you’ll get another chance tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow if we’re THAT unlucky.”
“I just want to get it over with; it’s making me nervous just to think about having this conversation...”
As for Trixie? She got to bask in her very own glory for once and it was beautiful, at least for her. Flash couldn’t help but smile as he saw her face lit up with joy. Maybe I'm just a little too desperate after Twilight... He thought to himself but before he could push his thoughts further, Trixie turned to look at him.
“Huh? W-What is it?”
“C-Could you... tell me a Discord joke, please? I... Trixie kinda likes them.”
Flash was taken aback; he could swear Trixie was blushing for just a brief moment.
“U-Uh, sure. Let me think about one... Discord was once bitten by a king cobra, after five days of excruciating pain; the cobra died.”
"Trixie appreciates your humour."
Author's Note
Fun fact: Discord can speak braille AND hear sign language!
Source: Trust me on this one
Saturday Part 1: Camping out in the woods.
Back at Sunset Shimmer’s apartment, Discord recovered from his dance-related injury enough to participate in new adventures alongside the seven girls. Today was going to be a nice trip to a camping site, which should be amusing to see how the lord of chaos would fare against the wild.
“You sure you’re okay, Discord? I don’t want to worsen your injury.” Sunset asked gingerly.
Discord stretched his back and let out a relieved sigh from up the stairs. “I thought I already told you; I’m fit as a fiddle. Plus, the last thing I’d want to do is to be stuck sitting here, wallowing in self-pity while you girls have all the fun.” He said as he made his way towards the kitchen.
“Okay then, but if you get hurt badly once more, we’ll take you back home, er, my home I meant.”
“It won’t happen again; I now know my limits as a mortal.” Which sucks!
“Hey watch the stairs!”
“Oops.” One misstep was all it took for him to take a mean tumble down the stairs. As they often say; watch your step!
For their trip to the camping grounds, they’ll be taking their favorite camping van to drive over there. Applejack was in charge of driving them there, to which she took advantage of this position to put on some good old country tunes.
“C’mon, Discord. Give campin’ a shot! You’ll surely come to like it, sugar cube.”
Crossing his arms, the old lord of chaos seemed rather disinterested in this activity but came simply because of Fluttershy.
“The most I did back in Equestria was a picnic with a bunch of critters. I very much prefer to stay in a warm and fuzzy cottage.”
Sunset sighed. “You only like cottages because Fluttershy lives in one. I don’t believe anybody’s ever seen you in one without her.”
“Okay, maybe I lied about liking cottages but doesn’t feel a bit undignified for someone like me to sleep in a tent? I am Discord, the lord of chaos! I, in some ways, am technically royalty.”
“Now hold on there, sugar cube. I’m fairly sure that even royalties would like to leave their stone walls in favor of spending a flippin’ good time with nature!” Applejack said in hopes that it would convince Discord to lighten up a bit.
“I like spending some time in the woods. It’s really soothing.” Fluttershy added.
“Fine then, I’ll sleep in tents alongside you girls.” Discord said, having finally caved in.
Rainbow Dash scratched the back of her head. “Gee, you really have a lot of power over this guy, Fluttershy.”
“A hypnotising power, hoooo!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed as she waved her hands around like a ghost.
“You’re exaggerating it. I’m not completely gaga over her.” Discord proclaimed as he rested his head on the window behind him.
“Speed bump, look out!” Applejack announced but it was too late.
The van hit the speed bump and despite not going really fast still shook it up, causing Discord to slam his head on the window.
Forsaken road trip! If only I could just bail out of this... Wait, I can! I’ll just pretend to be hurt! But then, I’d give up on Fluttershy. Hgn! What should I choose?
Rarity noticed the old man pondering about something and couldn’t herself but to ask what he was thinking about: “What are you thinking about, Discord? Surely about something fashionable, I hope?”
“Surprising that you’re here too, you were the last person I’d expect to see camping. After all, aren’t the woods not fashionista friendly?” Discord replied.
“I know that all too well, dear. I’m already well prepared to deal with the dreadfulness of the wilderness.”
Twi sighed and shook her head. “You’re not sleeping in the van, and we’re not going to let you sneak inside, Rarity.”
“Woe is me! Now what am I going to do?”
“Bring an inflatable sleeping bag?” sarcastically proposed Sunset Shimmer.
“That’s a good idea, darling!”
Rainbow Dash threw her arms in the air. “Rarity! Going out camping with luxuries like that is cheating! You’re only doing half of the fun of camping!”
“Yeah!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed as she reached out in her hair and pulled out an empty glass. “It’s like if I drink a glass of milk... without the milk!” The pink-haired girl took a bite out of her glass, shocking all of her friends including Discord.
“Pinkie Pie! Are you okay?!” asked a panicked Twi.
“Of course I am silly! Why wouldn’t I be?” she asked with a large, jolly smile on her face.
“Because you can’t just eat glass! You’ll only cut yourself and cause a lot of bleeding! It’s dangerous, Pinkie!”
“Oh? I thought everyone could do it...”
What are you? Thought a horrified Discord.
“There it is, girls! We’re turning left!” Applejack announced to the rest of the group.
The van took a turn to the left and entered the camping site. All that was left was a short distance to travel at a greatly reduced speed since there were a lot of speed bumps placed here to prevent any unfortunate accidents as they were many bike tracks often used by children. The girls inside decided to look outside and admire the beautiful forest and the critters as well.
This site was different from Camp Everfree as there were no buildings around, just them and the wilderness. As they drove by, they spotted a couple of happy campers setting up their tents, some would even wave at them. Amongst them, there were some recognisable faces; Sandalwood and Derpy were there. Oh, and there was also Photo Finish and her usual gang, though they looked more occupied with taking pictures than actually camping.
Finally, the van stopped and everybody was thrilled to start their weekend. An old gentleman dressed in purple came to greet the newcomers.
“Ah! It’s a pleasure to see you girls again!” said the old gentleman as he reached out a hand to Applejack.
The country girl shook his hand. “And it’s good to see that this place is still popular, even after the many rumors.”
“You’d surprised to learn just how much it actually helped keeping this place open. People hear these kinds of stories and then want to camp here just to see if they’re true or not. I like to entertain the idea of undead pirates living in these woods.”
The elderly man then set his gaze on Discord. “Oh? Who’s this charming fellow? I’ve never seen him before.”
“That’s Discord.” Sunset presented. “He’s staying with us for the week so we thought it would be a fun idea to bring him here before he left.”
The old gentleman took off his hat and saluted Discord. “Nice to meet you, Discord. I am Kind Heart and I hope you’ll like this place. It’s my life’s work you see.”
“Oh and it’s a beautiful work at that.” complimented Discord with his “otherworldly” charm, or so he likes to say.
“Well, I’ll leave you to it then. I’ll be in the watchtower if you ever need me.” finished Kind Heart as he pointed towards the tower overlooking the lake.
After he left their view, Pinkie turned to face the group. “Now it’s time to set up camp and party!”
After arriving at their camping site, it was now time for the group to set up their tents, the fun part really if you’d ask Discord. The place they had chosen was quite nice, close to the lake so they had plenty of water and with a good view of the watchtower just in case they needed to reach the old mister Kind Heart.
“Do you know how to set up your tent?” Sunset asked Discord.
The old man crossed his arms. “I’m much older than you are, of course I can do it!” he said in an undignified tone before bending over to pick up his tent.
“Alright, I’ll leave you to it.”
The others slowly prepared their tent while Discord simply stared, realising that for all the time he has spent outside of being a statue; he never actually set up a tent. After all, when you have magic that can do literally anything you want, why would you learn to do things the hard way?
Spike noticed this issue and trotted over to Discord. “Let me guess; you don’t know how to do it.” he said with a smug smile.
“He he, your powers are a crutch.” informed the young pup.
He sighed. “This is misery.”
“It only is if you don’t try to set your tent up.”
Muttering something under his breath, Discord went to work and tried really, really hard. In no time, his strange method attracted the attention of the others.
He was basically wrestling the tent at this point, rolling on the ground with it while mumbling strange Equestrian swears. While he was stuck inside the tent, the wind blew with enough force to blow him away momentarily.
“What is he doing?” Twi asked.
“He’s beginning to believe.” Spike responded.
Frustrated, Discord started beating his tent with a tree branch.
“He’s tenderizing the ground! Genius!” Pinkie exclaimed as she noted it in her notebook.
While fumbling around it with his hands, the old man accidentally tore a portion of it like a sheet of paper. “Oops.”
“Customisation!” Pinkie Pie gasped.
Enraged, Discord kicked his tent who conveniently landed perfectly on the ground, now fully prepared. Needless to say, he was flabbergasted.
“...Wow. That’s very unconventional, but I can’t judge it if it works.” admitted Sunset Shimmer.
“Yes, I told you I could do it, didn’t I?” Discord said, having just now regained his composure. A stroke of luck for sure, but it won’t last for the whole weekend.
After this little spectacle, the others went back to their tents. They still had to place their sleeping bags and other belongings inside.
As the old man was putting his stuff inside, he heard Rarity raise her voice.
“Oh? A blowhole?” Then, her whole tent crumbled as something big suddenly appeared.
“Rarity! I thought we said no inflatable sleeping bags!” Twi scolded.
“I’m sorry darling; I forgot I even brought it here in the first place?” sheepishly responded the fashionista.
I’d sure like to have it... but nobody will want me to have such luxuries. Discord thought, disappointed to see what he’s going to sleep on. Just a boring old sleeping bag, not really fit for the lord of chaos. I’ll make you pay for this Spike... the dragon. Messing with this pup isn’t really making me feel better. But perhaps looking further on these rumours might help?
Sitting atop his watchtower, Kind Heart watched the beautiful forest in peace. He had a nice view of the lake, of the hills and of some of the sites the campers have set in. He never was a big fan of the cities, which is why he always spend his summers here, in the one place he truly feels at peace. Having retired from his previous job, his work here in this forest was the last activity he had left.
Hm? Sounds like someone’s climbing up the ladder. With great effort, the old man got off his chair and walked up to the door. Soon after, someone knocked on the door.
“Who is it?” asked the jolly elder.
“I am Dr. Caballeron.” responded the stranger.
“Cabelleron? You mean, THE doctor Caballeron?” asked Kind Heart as he opened the door.
“Who else could it be?”
Sure enough, it was him alongside three of his hunting buddies. Now what could someone like this be doing here? There’s no big game here for sure, and it’s also forbidden to hunt here.
“Your antics with Daring Do certainly have given quite the awful reputation... What brings you to this old forest?” questioned the old man.
Dr. Caballeron crossed his arms. “The rumours. Surely, you’ve heard of them.”
“Pff, there are no zombified pirates in these woods. It’s all baloney! If there was one, I’d have known long ago.”
The hunters didn’t seem so convinced. “Whatever you say. We’re not leaving until we’ve got proof of their existence and their treasure. Plus, if we find out that they’re real; we’re hunting down their buried treasure even if it’s forbidden to do so.”
“Heh! You’d admit to my face that you four are pillagers?”
“Last I heard there’s no regulation for legends and lore.”
“Out of my watchtower! Out!” the old man waved his arm around to get them to leave and after receiving a few chuckles from them, they were gone. “Zombie pirates roaming my forest, bah! As if such a thing exists.”
Things aren’t looking good, especially for our nine (mostly) happy campers! Now unknowingly caught up in a looting(?) scheme, they’ll see their weekend unexpectedly spiced up.
Back at the camping site, Discord examined each of the tents. Everyone had their own color and motifs for their tent, each reflecting who they are as a person. Meanwhile, his was painfully average. Sunset explained that this was because they all customised their lovely tents while he only arrived a couple of days ago, so no time to give it a makeover.
“Fair enough, but what are we doing now?” he asked.
Fluttershy pointed at the ground they were standing. Their tents were all specifically placed to form a circle. In the middle of the circle currently lied... nothing. “We must make a campfire before it gets dark.”
“Oh yeah, that seems pretty obvious in hindsight.”
Twi pulled out a couple of baskets. “And let’s not forget about eating! We’ll need to find some edible fruits for supper.”
Thus, the girls split in two groups of four (and five if you count Spike). Discord chose to go with the campfire group to look for some woods that’ll start and keep the fire.
Applejack thought to bring an axe to cut down some old and weak trees to gather more wood and considering her power is super strength, who else could be more qualified for the job? They eventually settled on one that was shorter than the rest and the country girl got in place and lifted her axe.
“Might wanna get some distance. Y’all probably don’t wanna be crushed by a tree.”
Fluttershy turned around. “G-Go ahead, Applejack. I just don’t want to watch it happen.”
“Suit yourself sugar cube. Imma go for it.”
As she was looking away, Fluttershy noticed some movement behind the bushes and by the looks of it, it couldn’t belong to small critters. “G-girls? There’s something in the bushes!”
Immediately, Discord turned around, fly swatter in hand and approached the location of the shuffling. “I’ll see what’s up, my dear.” He reached out to push the leaves away and just as he did, someone slowly rose up from the bush.
It was Doctor Caballeron, soon followed by his three henchmen. “I beg your pardon, good sir. I was just resting in this comfortable spot for the moment.”
Discord raised an eyebrow, perplexed at this strange occurrence but felt that Fluttershy harbored some terribly negative feelings as she hid behind Pinkie Pie and glared at them. “Uh, do you know these guys?”
“Of course I do! They’re Doctor Caballeron and his henchmen! They’re looters, archaeologists and scumbag traders who sells precious artefacts for personal fortune! They have no respect for history!”
“Woah woah woah! Easy with the accusations.” responded Caballeron.
Discord crossed his arms out of distrust. “Tss, you’re a doctor?”
“Yeah, he’s got a PHD in butt-kicking!” exclaimed one of his goons.
The doctor in question looked to be in his late forties, early fifties perhaps. “Must be outdated then.” remarked Discord.
Caballeron laughed and hid his gun behind his back. “You’re quite the funny man, I’ll give you that. Anyway, we’re not here to trouble you, you see. We only have eyes for the legendary Captain Crooked Back and his crew that are said to be roaming this forest. It’s no poaching, it’s no stealing and it’s certainly not going to endanger anyone, we swear.”
“I have my dou-” Discord felt a slight pull on his clothes and saw that Pinkie Pie was shaking her head as in to tell him “let’s not stick around these guys”. “Well, it would seem that we have some work to do here, so I’ll leave you gentlemen be.”
“Good day to you people!” waved off the doctor as he left with his goons.
“These guys reeked with the stench of an Indiana Jones villain! I don’t trust them at all with my Pinkie sense!”
“Indeed, it would be wise not to let our guards down.” The old man concluded. But for now, they needed to get some wood for the fire.
The sky had darkened, the sun now gone, it was time for some good old campfire stories! Now sitting around the campfire, the group of friends each took their turn to tell a spooky story. Normally you wouldn’t really be scared of these stories, but when you’re alone in the woods with nothing but darkness behind you, they tend to frighten you badly.
Twi looked especially thrilled to finally share her story, which piqued the interest of the others.
“Now what’s gotten you so excited, sugar cube? I hope you have a mighty good one.” Applejack asked.
While she was petting Spike, Twi explained herself. “While we were driving there, I read a bit about the undead pirates rumours and have found a very interesting story attached to it. Now seems like a perfect time to tell you about it.”
“Awesome! It’ll surely be better than Rarity’s fashionista boogeyman story!” Rainbow Dash added in excitement.
“Hey!”
Twi readjusted her glasses with a smirk. “Long ago, sometime during the era of pirates, there was a cruel band of pirate led by Captain Crooked Back who terrorised the region. They pillaged homes, threw bombs in carriages and stormed many ships. Their many attacks have garnered them a fearful reputation, but their success brought them a big problem; they were too wealthy. Their own ship wasn’t big enough to store the riches they have acquired and that risked the likelihood of their ship sinking to the bottom of the ocean so, they chose to move it somewhere... secluded, this forest to be exact.”
Discord chewed on some popcorn he brought for this occasion, not noticing that Pinkie Pie was secretly stealing some from him. The others were starting to feel nervous.
Twi continued “While searching around, they eventually found a place that they could deem as their new hiding spot for their fortune. It is not known where exactly. Before they left, however, one of them performed a forbidden ritual to protect their money stash. The ritual formed a guardian for the hidden loot under the form of their spirit, forever roaming the forest to ward off any pillagers from reclaiming the bandit’s treasure.”
“Oh great, all this time we were sleeping in a supposedly cursed forest.” Rarity nervously pointed out.
“It’s just a silly story, no way to know if it’s real, thought I personally wouldn’t believe it to be true.” Twi said to comfort her friend.
Discord noticed that Fluttershy was wincing. Remembering the strange encounter with Doctor Caballeron, the old man understood why these hunters were here. They must have heard of Crooked Back’s buried treasure, unsurprising considering he’s read Daring Do’s books. The bad doctor couldn’t resist the call of glory and fortune, even if it could all just be made up.
The shy girl was simply worried that these four bad people would ruin their fun outing with their treasure hunt. She’s heard of Daring Do’s stories from Rainbow Dash and thus, knew just how bad Caballeron and his goons can be.
“So, Fluttershy; got any spooky story you’d like to share?” Twi asked.
Suddenly snapped back to reality, Fluttershy nodded. “Wh- me? Oh, y-yes. I have a spooky story just for you, Twilight!”
“Oh really?”
The shy girl whistled and a ladybug landed on her finger. “Ladybug.”
“AAAAAA-”
Not long after they were done with their spooky campfire stories, the group went to sleep inside their tents. There wasn’t going to be school for Monday thanks to a public holiday, so they had at least two more days to enjoy the scenery... or so they thought for soon, their nice expedition in the woods would turn into quite the Scooby-Doo affair.
Two high-pitched screams woke them up in a cold sweat. These voices... they can only belong to...
“Derpy! And Sandalwood?” Rainbow Dash exclaimed as she jumped out of her tent. “They’re in danger!”
The rest exited the comfort of their sleeping bags and rushed to see what happened to these two.
“Time to hero up, girls!” Sunset said to her friends.
“Oh cool, now we’re roleplaying as superheroes.” pointed out the old god of chaos in a sarcastic manner.
Once they’ve arrived at the location of the screams, they saw a quivering Derpy and Sandalwood holding each other tightly.
“Huh, didn’t know you two were hitting it off.” Applejack said.
“This isn’t a love hug; it’s a comfort hug, bro!” Sandalwood corrected.
Sunset approached the cowering students. “Then what scared you two this badly?”
Derpy pointed a trembling finger in the distance and Sunset Shimmer turned to see a chilling sight.
Off in the distance, four zombie pirates were wandering through the woods, moaning in an unsettling soulless voice.
"Z-Z-Z-Zombies!" Spike screamed in terror.
“We’re in a zombie infested forest apparently. Great, just the best way to cap off my stay in this rotten world.”
Author's Note
Don't be like that, Discord! There's a buried treasure waiting for you at the end of the line!
Saturday Part 2: Ghoulish Investigation
The zombies were fast approaching, okay maybe not but they were getting closer to them. Out of a morbid sense of curiosity, Twi took out her phone and activated its flashlight to get a better view of their undead visitors.
The zombified pirates looked dry and withered, with pale brown skin and sunken eyes. They had large yellow glowing eyes which illuminated the path ahead of them, and that light was locked onto the campers.
“Uh, Twilight? Now might be a good time to use your magic.” Applejack advised.
Twi reached out for her geode, only to remember that she left it inside her bag, in her tent. “I’m afraid I’ve left it back at camp... We ran there a little too fast, perhaps.”
Most of the girls have not thought to pick up their geodes as they rushed to the screams of Derpy and Sandalwood and they did not sleep with them on ‘cause, who sleeps with a necklace on?
The only one who thought to bring their geode was Applejack, but from the looks of it, she was rather reluctant to get in range of these ghouls. Understandable, but oh so unfortunate for the rest of the girls.
“Give ‘em a smackdown!” Rainbow Dash roared.
Twi objected, however, “It’s no use! These zombies are immortal as they are bound to their treasure. They can’t die as long as their fortune remains buried!”
“You sure about th-!” Applejack didn’t notice how close the monsters have gotten. They were now stepping on Derpy’s tent, to which she has long abandoned it.
“We’re sure about it!” Spike screamed.
“I’m, like, out of here bro! See ya!” Sandalwood made a run for it, followed by Derpy.
Discord snapped his finger with his usual unwavering confidence, only to remember that he’s virtually powerless in here. He snapped it again a couple of times before agreeing with Sandalwood’s idea. “Okay, I’m out of here... If Fluttershy agrees to run for our lives.”
Fluttershy was cowering behind Rainbow Dash and only poked her head out when Discord proposed to leave. “I agree.”
“And so do we! Let’s run away and come up with a good plan!” Sunset yelled.
Back at the camp and exhausted, the girls took their time to gather their bearing on the fact that they were literally stuck in a forest cursed by pirates. How can they fight back against immortal zombies? Finding the treasure was their only option but good luck uncovering it in a forest this massive. Not even Spike’s flair could help here as he first needs to learn the scent of the buried treasure to track it down. So... what now?
Discord remembered something. “Hey, hold on a minute. They were four zombies back there, and we may not have told you yet about Caballeron and his henchmen.”
“What?! Doctor Caballeron is here?! Why didn’t you tell me?!” Rainbow Dash freaked out as she was the most knowledgeable in the bad doctor’s evil shenanigans.
“Wouldn’t wanna ruin the fun camping trip, right?” Discord answered before clearing his throat. “Now it may be possible that these zombies are just Caballeron and his goons trying to scare us away Scooby-Doo style, but we can’t be sure until we unmask them.”
“Oh yes oh yes oh yes! Please tell me we are living through a Scooby-Doo episode!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed as she bounced around the site.
Her jolly bouncing was soon put to an end as Sunset grabbed her by the arms and brought her down to earth. “No time for childhood fantasies Pinkie! Our lives are at risk here, whether the zombies are real or not!”
“Aw 🙁"
In the dead of night, they relit their dying campfire to discuss further about their course of action against their new (potentially) undead opponent. The exact number of pirates that composed Crooked Back’s crew was unknown so for all they knew, there could be close to fifty zombies roaming the dark woods. Sunset was the one to take the lead as always.
“The first thing we should do is to confirm which outcome is true. Rainbow Dash and I will scout out these zombies and see if Caballeron and his henchmen have anything to do with this sudden attack.”
“Why is it only you two? Shouldn’t it be safer if you brought more buddies for this task?” Discord pointed out.
“It’s only us two in case we are spotted. Dash can carry me back to camp with her super speed. If there’s more than one, she won’t be able to make good use of said super speed.” Sunset explained.
“I suppose that makes sense... And what are we going to do in the mean time? Play a nice game of checkers, hm?”
“I love check-”
“That was just a joke, Pinkie.” Discord quickly said.
“🙁"
Sunset snapped her fingers to get back their attention. “In all seriousness, I want the rest of you to reach out to Kind Heart in his radio tower and let him know about the situation. Our cellphones have no network here so the only way we can call the police is through him.”
“That makes sense, I mean, Doctor Cabelleron and his goons are surely armed with hunting rifles in a no hunting zone, so we can force them to leave with the police’s help!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed.
“Let’s not waste any time and get this over with so we can at least have fun this weekend.”
Back at Derpy and Sandalwood’s camp, Sunset and Rainbow Dash searched for the four zombies that were previously here. They couldn’t be too far seeing as their movements are slow and sluggish, unless they weren’t actual zombies...
In the dead of night, there wasn’t any light penetrating through the thick foliage of the trees, casting the entire forest below in a near abyssal darkness. The campfire was still on which facilitated the act of making their way back to the camp.
“No sign of our mysterious four zombies...” Sunset remarked.
Rainbow Dash was getting impatient, running around in the dark at super speed wasn’t really a good option, so this endeavor was going to take some time. “Now what? This forest’s too big, it’ll be almost impossible to find them while it’s dark.” Just in preparation for her eventual speedster-esque running, she tied her hair into a ponytail.
“Maybe if we just make a lot of noise, they’ll come back to scare us. Afterward, we’ll hide and follow them to spot any suspicious behaviors.”
“Sounds good to me.”
The two girls called out as loud as they can to get the attention of any potential wanderers as the woods were deathly quiet at night. Any loud sound is bound to get the attention of someone. After they stopped shouting, they began to hear footsteps slowly approaching them.
“Bingo! Looks like it worked! Let’s climb up this tree, they’ll never think to look up!”
Using their expert tree climbing skill, they scaled it up and waited patiently for the slow arrival of strangely only three zombies, albeit different from the ones they saw earlier. Different clothes, though still pirate themed and their eyes didn’t glow as much as the previous ghouls.
Once they got to the camp, the undead pirates briefly stopped and exchanged strange looks before resuming their search for the two girls whose shouts they heard.
Up in the tree, Sunset whispered to Rainbow Dash. “Now, that was odd. Maybe these zombies are smarter than we think, or they’re just guys in costume looking to scare us away.”
“I can’t help but get the feeling we are living through an episode of Scooby-Doo...”
Just as Sunset predicted, they did not look up and simply shambled out of the camp and through the dark woods. At that time, the two spying girls slowly and quietly climbed down to follow the haunting ghouls.
It was difficult for them to remain undetected, as any sound will alert the pursuers to their location. The crickets up above weren’t loud enough to completely masks their footsteps, which forced them to move even slower, just barely enough to keep up with the living dead.
The four zombified pirates were behaving strangely at times, showing a lot more sentience than a zombie normally would have. Various action, such as readjusting their posture, glancing left and right and even sometime checking their forearm for... something.
Maybe they were just very intelligent zombies, maybe. Or... they’re fakers. This stalking took a couple of minutes until the ghouls suddenly stopped their pursuit and straighten their backs.
“Looks like we took too much time, these girls are gone.” said one of the living dead.
“What were they even doing back here? Didn’t they run away from us already?” exclaimed another one.
Finally, the one dressed up as Captain Crooked Back spoke in a very familiar voice to Dash at least. “Very well, let’s make sure they’re gone in the morning and then we’ll go back to our search. The treasure’s real and I won’t let any of you dissuade me from finding it.”
Doctor Caballeron, I knew it! Thought Sunset Shimmer from behind a bush. She whispered to her friend that they should go meet up with the rest of the group to tell them the news.
Just as they were about to leave, Sunset accidentally stepped on a branch that was essentially invisible in the dark. Oh come on! That’s just unlucky!
The three wannabe ghouls spun around and reached for something inside their pirate clothes. Both Sunset and Rainbow Dash noticed in horror that they pulled out their hunting rifles.
Rainbow Dash looked at her friend with a look that said “They’re going to shoot us!”
“What was that?” said one of the hunters in a nervous voice.
“Could be just a critter, but it could also be someone spying on us like Daring Do. Search around with your googles, we must make sure no one is following us!” ordered Caballeron.
Sunset grabbed the broken branch and threw it away. The sound of its impact with the ground distracted the three hunters just long enough for them to move away from their hiding spot.
Caballeron inspected the broken branch and came to only one conclusion. “We’re being followed. Our disguises are compromised! Don’t let them get away or else we’re gonna get in severe legal issues!” His words erased all anxieties from his partners, who now looked quite angry.
The two girls hid behind a large tree and Sunset peeked out to wait for a good opportunity to make run for it. “Once they turn their back to us, you’ll use your speed to get us out of here, got it?” she whispered.
But no response came. “D-Dash?” She turned around only to see the reason why there were only three of them.
“Hmmgn!”
The fourth hunters, the biggest of the bunch, had gotten a hold of Rainbow Dash. His left arm had wrapped around her body and lifted her off the ground as if she was as light as a feather. His right hand was covering her friend’s mouth so she wouldn’t be able to call for help. In his zombie costume, he was downright terrifying.
Before Sunset could do anything, he whistled to his fellow hunters to look in their direction. Now, there were three hunting rifles locked on her.
“Now ain’t this an unpleasant surprise?” Caballeron said in an annoyed voice. “You two just couldn’t help yourselves to play the hero, huh? Reminds me of an old ‘friend’ of mine; Daring Do. Perhaps the name rings a bell? Anyhow, you two Daring Do wannabes are gonna regret it real fast...”
At the watchtower, the old Kind Heart was sound asleep. At his age, he often had to take naps during the day to keep on doing his job as his body was slowly weakening. To compensate, he did hire other rangers to be stationed at the other watchtowers built around his prized forest. What he didn’t know, however, was that he would soon be living through a very long night when his radio suddenly turned on.
“H-Hello? Is s-someone there?”
Kind Heart woke up surprised and sluggishly stumbled out of bed, picking up his cane in the process to walk over to the radio. “This is tower 3. What is the problem? Over.”
The callers answered. “W-W-We're lost in the woods! There are zombies out there! Pirate zombies! Th-They're totally real, bro! We ran away from our camp, but now we’ve lost our path! Please help us, Kind Heart!” The old ranger could also hear some feminine whimpering accompanying the frightened voice of the caller.
The old man recognised the voice of Sandalwood and Derpy. He had known them for quite some time and was determined to led them to safety. Although he wasn’t fully buying the pirate zombies, he knew that there could sometimes be bears present near the lake and simply assumed that it was a wild animal that attacked them.
“Just tell me where you are, I’ll guide you to the watchtower, over.”
Kind Heart looked to his right. There on the wall lied the full map of the forest, complete with all the trails and bear sightings. He had a feeling he was going to have a bad night. He was even second guessing all this buried treasure and undead pirates' myth. It could be real after all; he did read about the weird happenings at Canterlot High which is only a few kilometers away from here.
“I think I see a mine, but that’s about it. The trees are obscuring my vision, I can’t see anything else!”
The mine, yeah it was literally on the other side of the forest. These poor high school students were a long way from the comfort of his watchtower. “Take the trail on your right, over.” simply responded the old gentleman. Now he simply needed to wait for them to call back.
In the meantime, he went outside to look over in the distance. From his position, he had a good view of the lake and the other watchtower. Even in the dead of night, his forest still amazed him with its beauty and serenity. No way could such a peaceful place be haunted with the spirits of cruel pirates. He’s way too old for this.
The radio turned back on, but this time it was a different familiar voice. “Hey, Kind Heart? It’s Twilight Sparkle, we need your help, over.”
Rushing back to the radio, Kind Heart answered immediately. “What can I do for you girls? Over.”
“We need to come over to you quickly. Can you show us your location? Over.”
Going back outside, he turned on the flood lights. The switch was sadly broken and had to be manually held to keep the lights on, something he hoped would get fixed soon. After a few seconds of waiting, he saw some lights emanating in the forest. Cellphones light to be more precise.
“We’re making our way to you. We should arrive in at least five minutes, over.”
Good, more complications on their way. He’s going to have a lot to juggle tonight, hopefully his nap would have given him enough strength to last to morning.
“Fantastic view! Hold the pose!”
“W-What?”
Out of nowhere showed up Photo Finish and her two kind assistants. The latter jumped on him and pampered the old gentleman with makeup and new clothes, ones that looked more fitting as a park ranger than his pyjamas.
“Perfect! Now stay put! I must capture this moment!”
Her camera’s light blinded Kind Heart as she rapidly took hundreds of photos, striking very extravagant poses while doing it.
“I-I’m kinda in the middle of something, Photo Finish!” protested the old ranger. His protests didn’t reach her, however.
“Splendid! Splendid!”
“I need to do my job! Some of your friends are in danger!”
“I know! And off... I go!”
With a snap of her fingers, her assistant ripped the ranger’s clothes away and removed his makeup before the trio left in a hurry.
Mumbling unsavory things under his breath, Kind Heart noticed that his pyjamas were also ripped away during the photoshoot speedrun.
“Brr! It’s awfully cold out here...”
“... sell for a fortune, ay? I’m sure we’ll find a buyer pretty quick. These things look ancient... and rare.”
The voice of Doctor Caballeron rang through her ears as Sunset slowly woke up. She was in a rather uncomfortable position. Her hands were stuck above her head and it felt like they were crushing each other. That feeling also carried over to her legs. Lastly, she felt something over her mouth and slowly came to realise that she was tied up and gagged inside of a very luxurious trailer, Caballeron’s trailer.
Both Sunset and Rainbow Dash’s geodes were now missing, taken by the greedy hands of the archeologist. Her friend looked understandably angry at Caballeron, groaning at him through her gag.
“Hmgn! Hmpf, mmmmmgn!”
The bad doctor looked rather amused by her little tantrum and crouched next to her, swinging the geodes in front of her face. “I must admit, I’m quite intrigued by how you even came into possession of these relics. They’re truly one-of-a-kind, but I guess it doesn’t matter how you found them, all I'm curious to know is if your friends also happen to have more of them. Do they?”
Sunset winced and shook her head. “Hm hm!”
Cabelleron frowned. “I see the face of a liar here... Oh well, I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to go after them. We still have a lot of time to uncover the buried treasure after all. Oh yes! With the treasure in our possession; we’ll be able to buy everything we could ever want! Mostly... entire companies to amass greater fortune to finance my next expedition. Slowly over time, I will get to rule over the world!”
If her hands weren’t tied, Sunset would totally face palm. This guy was talking as if he was a Totally Spies villain or something... The fact that they were tied up only reinforced this feeling.
No matter how much danger they’re in, these two girls would never let themselves be reduced to damsels in distress.
“Anyhow, I suppose our hunt is futile during the night. We must have chased off all the campers here. I hope you won’t mind if we hold you captive just a little longer until we find the treasure. I promise it won’t be long since you’re looking at experts in this domain!”
Rainbow Dash tried again to break free, mumbling more threats through her gag.
“I feel like a muzzle would have been more appropriate for you, Miss Daring Do fan #1.” Caballeron took out a Daring Do book, Dash’s book, and waved it in front of her face. “Yeah, I see just how much you idolise her. Well, let me tell you something very important; it’s great and all to idolise someone but kids like you should never inspire to be like her. I’d wager the results here speak for themselves.”
In a last-ditch attempt to get the last laugh, Rainbow Dash abruptly straightened her legs to trip Caballeron as he was walking away.
“Hmpf!”
Feeling slightly humiliated, the bad doctor brushed off the dust from his clothes. “Still feel a little smug? I’ll make sure to correct that behavior by the end of this weekend.”
He dropped the book in front of her and shut his bedroom door. “Now please be quiet, I’ll be trying to sleep here.”
Now left alone, they knew it was time to make their escape. This whole scenario was strangely resembling that of a kid’s cartoon. Heroines getting capture by the bad guy? Check. Monologuing villain? Check. Escaping the baddies’ evil trap? Check, though there isn’t really a trap here...
Rainbow Dash first went with a little more brute force, but evidently that idea was going nowhere. She looked to Sunset to come up with a solution to get them out of this sticky situation.
Our bacon-haired protagonist looked around the trailer but couldn’t seem to find anything in reach that could get rid of their bonds... Until she laid her eyes on Dash, more specifically on her ponytail.
“Hmgn mmmpf!”
“Hm?”
Sunset sighed and pointed at Rainbow Dash’ hair, albeit with great difficulty because her hands were tied in an uncomfortable position. She looked confused but nonetheless leaned closer to her. With careful handling, she took out Dash’s hairpin, undoing her ponytail at the cost of having something mildly sharp in hand.
She gingerly scraped her binds with the hairpin, making sure to not apply too much pressure, else it would break. Her hands were slightly trembling thanks to the pressure put on her at the moment. These binds were going to break... in the fullest of time! I can promise it.
Rainbow Dash wasn’t feeling too patient, however. “Hhmpf Ohme Hon!” She pouted on her side, looking at the ceiling for some stimulation.
Wrong move! Sunset dropped the hairpin but caught it back just in time! Her hands were trembling more than they were before as her fingers became sweaty. The drops of sweat on her forehead were also becoming more visible as she was getting anxious.
Rainbow Dash was also growing anxious, now occasionally glancing at her progress with worried eyes.
Thankfully, Sunset managed to keep her cool just long enough to put a good dent in her binds. Then, she pulled her hands apart with enough force to finally free herself. She let out a muffled chuckle before taking off both hers and Dash’s gag.
“Close one.” Sunset stated.
“Too close for comfort, now can you free me too?”
Sunset glanced at the cupboards, there must be sharp knives around here to cut through their remaining binds faster. With her legs still tied, she had to hop around like a rabbit to reach the kitchen knives.
“That one should do it.” Indeed, it did. The knife cut through the ropes like butter and in no time, the two girls were free.
Rainbow Dash immediately looked at the door leading to Caballeron’s bedroom with an angry expression. “We can’t let this jerk sell away our geodes! We need them to save the world for when that’ll inevitably happen again.”
“We’ll need to be really quiet if we want to snatch them back. Can I count on you for this?”
“Of course you can! I’m probably like the best at sneaking out of all of us.”
Sunset remained... unconvinced.
Anyhow, they slowly opened the door and nearly had a panic attack when it creaked with the frequency of a screaming baby. Thankfully, Caballeron simply rolled in bed and groaned, still sound asleep.
“I’ll search the left side; you search the right side.” Sunset whispered to Rainbow Dash.
Sunset first started by looking under the bed, a good place to hide some valuable or mostly... embarrassing items. Reaching out, she pulled out a CD of a very familiar band. “Power Crush, huh? Didn’t know he was a fan too.”
As for Rainbow Dash, she found many newspaper clippings in his shelf regarding Canterlot High’s more magical events. Not surprising considering his line of work.
“Oh no... you’ve gotta be kidding me.”
Dash turned around and saw that Sunset was pointing at the sleeping doctor.
“No... don’t tell that he’s wearing our geodes?!”
Sunset nodded. “So, uh, you good at stealing necklaces?”
“Absolutely not! I’m no criminal, but what about you? Didn’t you steal a lot of stuff in your bad girl’s days?”
She gulped. “A-Alright then. Guess I’m the one who’s gonna snatch them...”
With great hesitation, Sunset approached her trembling hand to the sleeping Caballeron. Inching ever so closer, she managed to get a hold of the two geodes but right as she was about to pull them away, he rolled in bed, causing her to immediately move away in panic.
“You almost had it! Try again!” Dash insisted.
After waiting for a bit, Sunset tried her luck again. She was fortunate enough to grab the geodes again and now it was time for the difficult part; removing them without waking Caballeron up. She slowly lifted them up from his neck, carefully observing him just in case he’d wake up. Once the coast seemed clear, she pulled the geodes away.
“Yes!”
“Sweet!”
“Hm?”
Oh snap! It would appear that Sunset wasn’t one hundred percent successful in reclaiming the geodes without waking up their captor. Caballeron’s eyes widened when he saw her with his most prized possessions in hand.
“Hey yo-”
Before he could even finish his sentence, Rainbow Dash bonked him over the head with his night lamp, shattering it and knocking him unconscious. If he had a mirror, he'd see just how unflattering he looked moments before he passed out. “Whew! That was a close call.”
“Let’s get out of here.” Sunset threw Dash her geode and they both put them on.
“Finally, I’m back to being awesome!”
“Heh, you always were, Dash.”
They ran out of the caravan, happy to finally make it out of the evil clutches of Caballeron but were stopped by yet another zombie pirate, Captain Crooked Back to be exact.
“Uh oh... I think they may have heard the commotion.”
“Mmmmmmmmyyyyyy... treeeeaaaasuuuureeee.”
“What?”
Captain Crooked Back lifted his arms in front like you’d expect from a zombie and began to shamble towards them.
“Uh, Sunset? If these guys are armed, then... why isn’t he threatening us with his gun?”
“Only one way to find out.”
Sunset walked up to the shambling cadaver and right as he was about to lunge on her, she used her knowledge in martial arts to throw him over her shoulder and then... she froze.
“You touched him! What didya see?”
Sunset’s face was frozen in horror.
“S-Sunset?”
“He’s... He’s the real Crooked Back.”
“What?! So this whole zombie pirate story is true? Oh my gosh! We were camping in a cursed forest for years without even knowing!”
The zombie’s feet tethered to the ground and slowly, he lifted his whole body up without even using his arms. Once he was finally standing again, he moaned in a wrathful voice. “You will never steal my treasure!”
Author's Note
Oh nyo! The monsters are real! Who woulda guessed?
Monday: A whole new world... and it sucks.
This game of Ogres and Oubliettes was intense, or so it was supposed to be. Spike and Big Macintosh were struggling with the many terrifying monsters encountered in the game whilst Discord was plowing through any and all adversity with little to no effort. Now faced with a mighty dragon, it was time for the God of chaos to roll the dice. Can he slay the dragon, or will he be burnt to ashes?
“Roll the dice, Spike.” he said, slumping back in his chair with a cold drink in hand. He had a smug smile plastered all over his face.
“Sure thing.” The young dragon rolled the dice. “4, the dragon gobbles you up, you die. Told you it wasn’t a good idea to face a dragon like that.”
Discord spat his drink all over the floor and leaned on the table. “What?! But how?”
“What do you mean how? Its luck based, why were you so confident in letting me roll the dice?”
The draconequus realised he screwed up and sealed his lips shut, literally.
“I knew it! Your dices are loaded, Discord! That’s why for this roll, I used MY dice and would you look at that. You didn’t score a nat 20.”
“Oh pish posh! I’m no cheater, right Big Mac?”
“E-Nope.”
Spike facepalmed. “Discord, this is the third time you’ve been caught cheating. When are you going to play by the rules?”
“Okay fine, I’ll stop being a dirty cheater.” Discord said as he threw away a book titled ‘The Ultimate Cheater’s Guidebook’.
“Let’s forget about this and play another round of Ogres and Oubliettes.”
The young dragon wasn’t convinced that Discord’s words were genuine. “We’ll play again, but only on one condition.”
Discord chuckled. “Oh really? And that condition is?” He stretched his head towards Spike, looking at him straight in the eyes with a smug expression.
“You gotta spend a whole week in the human world.”
The draconequus remained still, arms crossed and completely silent. After a few seconds, he impatiently looked at his watch, whom he had just materialised out of thin air.
Spike was surprised to be met with silence. “Nothing? I thought you were going to say something.”
“What’s the twist, Spike?”
“The twist?” Spike shook his head. “There’s no twist. You’ll just spend one week there and that’s it. Sunset Shimmer will make sure you don’t leave too soon.”
Discord busted into laughter. “Oh wow! How dreadful! This is way too cruel of a punishment!” he began to mockingly imitate a fainting mare, placing a spotlight on him for dramatic effect.
Big Mac leaned close to Spike. “Uh, how is that supposed to punish him?”
“Magic works differently in the human world. Something tells me Discord will have trouble adjusting to it.” He explained with a confident smile.
Discord stood up and snapped away the spotlight. “Alright, when do I start your so-called punishment?”
Spike shrugged. “I don’t know, how about now? I’ll notify Sunset Shimmer about this. She’ll write periodically so I’ll know if you ever try to leave prematurely.”
“Oh Spike, why would I ever do that?” Discord said in a sinister tone.
Spike, however, seemed unfazed by the sinister aura around the draconequus. “I can think of a few reasons...”
“Spike? Why is Discord going to the human world?”
Twilight was perplexed to say the least. She was after all missing some context here.
“Discord cheated again and this time, I’m going to punish him. That’s pretty much it.” Spike responded in a neutral voice.
“Come on, we can’t just use the portal willy nilly like tha-” The memories of all the dumb stuff Discord pulled over the years flooded her mind. The fake disease, the Tirek incident, the trying to banish a mare to the shadow realm incident, you name it. There were too many to count on one hoof, then again there usually aren’t fingers on hooves. “On second thought, I’ll allow it.” she said with a smirk.
“Aw gee, thanks for being a good sport, Twilight.” Discord said, materialising a sports shirt on himself just because he thought he was funny back there. I don’t think he’s as funny as he thinks he is, what with his stupid dad jokes and all... Oh sorry, I may be getting too distracted.
The portal opened, signaling to the draconequus that it was time to go. Twilight started giggling, struggling to keep her laughter in. “Have fun in the human world! We’ll be looking forward to your return!”
“I sure will!” Discord flew straight in the portal in a relaxed posture which was meant to be a taunt to Spike but that didn’t bother him whatsoever. Humans can’t fly and Discord will soon learn about it.
“I can’t wait to hear how it went for him. It’ll surely be a total disaster.” said the young dragon.
“Yeah, something tells me he’ll be in for a rude awakening.”
On the other side, the portal began to light up and out came Discord.
“Hello human wor-” Before he could finish his sentence, his face came into contact with the floor, and that hurt. Surprised, the draconequus got up and noticed that his body has changed. Gone was the amalgamation of different animals forming his body parts, replaced instead with a simple and cohesive body... of a hairless monkey. He had become, a human. These were creatures he had heard about from Twilight, creatures he imagined would be quite disgusting. I mean, mammals are usually known for being furry and humans are, well, the total opposite.
“Okay, guess I'm not immune to this. Oh well, it doesn’t change much in the end. Let’s have some fun, shall we? First, I’ll fix my appearance.” he snapped his finger and waited. Nothing happened. Perplexed, he snapped his finger again. Nothing. He snapped it again, this time more impatiently. Nothing happened and now it was getting on his nerves. “Gn?! Why isn’t this working?!”
“Oh hey, I suppose you must be Discord.” That voice belonged to none other than Sunset Shimmer, who must have received Spike’s message.
“Hm? A new face. Oh let me guess... you must be Sunset Shimmer.” Discord said, trying to hide his irritation from her by taking on a more relaxed and confident posture.
“Good guess! It seems Twilight must have talked a lot about me back in Equestria. Anyway, I’m here to give you a helping hand in this world. It certainly takes a lot of adjusting to, what with the whole no magic thing in here. That and the fact that we’re bipedal though I suppose you were already walking on two legs.”
Discord felt his heart sink. “Hold on just a minute, did you just say no magic?”
“Well, kinda. Magic doesn’t work the same way here. So far, we found out that music seems to trigger our magic. But sometimes, something else entirely can trigger it, like doing something we like. Then, there's magical geodes we found in caves but that doesn't even have any correlation to the previous magic... I don’t know how magic actually works in here.” explained Sunset Shimmer in a nervous giggle.
Discord tried to snap his finger and was horrified to realise that his magic wasn’t working. He couldn’t do his usual shenanigans without his chaotic magic. How could he, the almighty and powerful god of chaos and discord, spend an entire week without his defining trait? The answer: he couldn’t. "So no magic then..." Yeah, he probably didn't listen to the whole rant about magic.
Discord ran back to the statue only to ram into it, which was unexpected. Wasn’t this a gateway to Equestria? He reached out to touch the mysterious portal only to be met with stone. He can’t pass through. He can’t go back home. Oh snap! He really has no way home until a full week has passed.
“Why isn’t this working? Why can’t I leave?” he said while simultaneously trying to hide the growing stress in his voice.
“The portal only works if it’s activated on the other side, so yeah... you’ll need to contact Twilight if you want to leave but I've been told not to let you go until a week has passed.”
Discord’s jaw dropped. “D’oh! You’ve gotta be kidding me.” Now he understood why Spike thought it would be fitting to send him here. Gotta give credit where it’s do, it was a smart idea coming from the youngster.
“Hey now, this world isn’t so bad once you get used to it. Sure, there’s not much magic to go around but there is technology, significantly better technology than in Equestria. Take a look at this.” Sunset pulled out her phone and showed some of its features to the now humanised draconequus.
After a short showcase, it was clear that Discord wasn’t very impressed. “And that is supposed to compensate for my little problem of NO MAGIC?” he said with his arms crossed.
“Aw Discord, I’m sure you’ll do just fine. You’re only here for a week, after that you’ll be able to use your magic back in Equestria. Come on, give this place a chance! I’m sure it’ll grow on you.”
“The only thing that’s growing onto me is my frustration.” After pouting for a moment, Discord responded. “Fine, I’ll try. What is there to do around this pitiful world anyway?”
“Well, there is-”
The bell rang, causing Sunset to quickly check her phone. Recess was over and it was time to go back to class. “Bad timing. I need to go to my class! Why don’t you join me, you wouldn’t want to be left on your own, right?”
Class? That simple word caused Discord to raise an eyebrow. “You go to high school yet you’re just as old as Twilight? Why? That’s just weird.”
“I’m sure you won’t find it weird if I tell you that I need to finish high school and college in this world in order to get a job. I don’t really have a choice. Also, I turn into a teenager when crossing the portal. Don’t ask me why, nobody truly has the answers.”
“I’m not sure I even want to know how and why that happens. Thankfully I have not transformed into a teenager, though I wished I could have looked a little younger.”
Inside Canterlot High, Sunset and Discord weaved through the horde of students stumbling through the school. Since Discord looked like an old man and he was following a teenage girl on top of that, he earned many weird looks and side eyes from the students and faculty members.
“Is it really that weird for someone like me to stumble in here?” he asked in an irritated voice. He was clearly not used to being looked upon an unfavorable angle. Most ponies would rather hoof fight a pack of timberwolves than to look at him the wrong way.
“Everybody knows you don’t work here so... yeah, it’s kinda weird for you to follow me around like a lost puppy. Look, you even have the looks of one.” she opened her camera on her phone and showed it to Discord.
The now old man cringed. “Oh dear, I really have this expression on my face? Gee, no wonder everyone looks at me like I'm a weirdo. Grah, if only I had my magic, I’d show them just how cool I, Discord, can truly be.”
Sunset Shimmer rubbed the back of her head. “I’m sure they’ll think you’re cool even without your magic.”
Discord crossed his arms. “Pff, I sure ho-”
A familiar looking girl walked up to them, catching the attention of the ex-draconequus immediately. Was it the color of her skin? Her hair perhaps, he definitely saw that hairstyle before. “Hey Sunset! Who’s this guy?”
“Flutter-”
“This is Discord. He also comes from Equestria, and I heard that he’s really close to you there, as a friend of course.” quickly explained Sunset.
Fluttershy probably could have guessed the latter considering the old man was staring at her with an immense amount of relief.
“Maybe this week won’t be so bad after all.” he muttered to himself.
Fluttershy, not really knowing how to respond, awkwardly laughed. “Uh, p-pleased to meet you, Mister Discord.”
“Oh no no no. You can just call me Discord, like the Fluttershy in Equestria does. I may be older than you but that doesn’t mean you have to speak formally with me. We’re friends, right?”
“Oh, y-yeah.”
Sunset smiled at Discord, happy to see him being more open to this world. “See? I told you this world isn’t as bad as it first seems. There’s still plenty more for you to see.”
Discord dropped his jovial expression. “Like what?”
“Excuse me sir.” Another familiar voice caught his attention. This voice belonged to a pearly white alicorn he loved to mess with back in Equestria. Princess Celestia, except in here, she was just the principal of a high school. Lame. “I suppose you’re here to apply for the position as a history teacher.”
“Huh? Me, a history teacher? Oh, don’t make me-”
“Of course! He’d very much like to apply!” interrupted Sunset Shimmer, much to Discord’s surprise.
“What?”
Principal Celestia gave the old man the warmest smile she could muster and said. “Wonderful! We are short on staff for the moment, so I can’t express enough how grateful I am for your help! You’ll see, this school’s a lot of fun to teach.” She gave Discord a light tap on the shoulder before motioning at him to follow her.
Before he did anything, he glared at Sunset. “Don’t think I’m going to let this slide.”
Sunset responded with an upbeat attitude. “Give it a chance. I’m sure you’ll have lots of fun teaching!”
“Pff, I’d rather be the school’s principal.”
“Like I said, give it a chance, Discord. Who knows, you might even get the opportunity to teach Fluttershy.” Oh yes, Sunset just hit the Fluttershy button, causing Discord to immediately shift in attitude.
“Teach... Fluttershy?” he giggled to himself before regaining his composure. “Fine then, I’ll agree to this.”
“So, can you tell me about your resume, Mister Discord?” Celestia asked calmly right as Discord took a seat.
“My resume?” Uh, god of chaos, evil dictatorship, messing with reality itself, banishing ponies to the shadow realm, maybe not a good idea to mention these. At least he had something else under his belt! Which was... okay, maybe he hasn’t really done much teaching or even held a job for that matter. From the looks of it, this might be the draconequus’ first job ever! “I, uh, worked at an animal shelter. I must admit, I did a stellar job in there.” That he did... sorta. Fluttershy did the heavy lifting.
“Oh? I see, so you know how to take good care of animals, but students are very different. I feel silly for even pointing it out but it’s important to know that at their age, you must be delicate with how you treat them. Talking down to them might get them angry and thus, miss the point of your lecture while being too lenient will make them shirk their homework and studies. Got that?”
The muffled sound of fingers snapping echoed behind Discord’s chair. Grah! Still doesn’t work. “O-Oh, yeah. I understood it all, dear.”
Principal Celestia smiled before pulling out a bunch of documents. “That’s great to hear! Now if you don’t mind, your first day shall commence right now. You see, we uh, have a history class coming up with no teacher to deliver the lesson. It’s going to start in thirty minutes, so I strongly advise you get acquainted with the notes I just gave you, you’re going to need them.”
Discord stared at the pile in horror. “Oh poo... I’ll get you for this, Spike.”
Monday:
First day on the job, all he has to do is read this huge pile of notes and assimilate the lesson at hand before the students come pouring in. Easy... if he could stop time to get it all done under thirty minutes, but sadly, as a human he has no cool magic at his side. “Argh, this sucks on ice! I shouldn’t have agreed to that little rascal’s punishment! I hate to admit, but I underestimated him. Now, I find myself stuck with an awful job in another world that is lame compared to Equestria. Pff, at least I still have Fluttershy, well, somewhat.”
Finally, the students entered the classroom and Discord watched in discontent. This feeling only grew stronger when he saw a peculiar girl rush in. She had rainbow-colored hair and light blue skin accompanied by violet eyes. Now where has he seen that before? Rainbow Dash?! You’ve gotta be kidding me.
But hold on a minute, Discord. You’re the teacher and she’s the student, this means you are in a higher position of power.
Oh sweet! I get to mess with her for an hour straight. This will be fun!
The teacher stood up and greeted his class with surprisingly less disdain than he imagined. Then, he started his lecture about Canterlot city’s history, he memorised it rather quickly although he couldn’t care less about this rotten place. The class went on without anything notable happening, except for when Discord spotted something he desperately wanted to see.
Rainbow Dash... wasn’t paying attention to his lesson. As a teacher, it is his job to punish bad students. Oh yes!
“Rainbow Dash, do you know who won the motorbike race in 2004?” he asked in a deceptively calm voice that hid malicious intentions.
“H-huh?”
Before she could even proceed what he had just asked her, Discord threw a chalk at her. The small object collided with her forehead with enough force to cause pain.
“Ow!” Rainbow Dash grasped at the injured spot. A reddish spot appeared on her forehead right where the chalk hit her.
“Now, if you were paying attention, you could have dodged it.” scolded Discord with strong hints of sadistic pleasure behind his voice. Hohoho! Hehe, this is too much fun!
Sunset, who was sitting next to Dash, leaned close to her and whispered. “You know, if you had more proficiency, you could have dodged that chalk.”
Rainbow Dash sighed. “I get the reference.”
The hours flew back and before Discord knew it, the day was over. The students went to their respective locker to grab their stuff and leave, and teachers breathed a sigh of relief, happy to finally go back home while Discord realised that he had run out of chalks.
“Well, that's disappointing. I should get more for tomorrow...” He was also disappointed for he had hoped to spend to more time with Fluttershy, but she didn’t have any history class for today.
“Discord?” Sunset Shimmer went back to check on him apparently.
“Hm? Shouldn’t you be with your ‘friend’ group?”
“Yeah, but I figured I couldn’t leave you there.”
“Oh please! I’m not a sassy lost child. I’m a sassy NOT lost draconequus stuck in a hairless monkey’s body.”
Sunset laughed. “Oh no! It’s not about that! You need a place to sleep and since you don’t really have any money, I figured I should let you sleep at my place for the week.”
“Oh how nice to give a stranger like me such special treatment. Well, let’s see what kind of house you live in.”
With cool methods of transportation like cars, Discord was more or less disappointed to go to Sunset Shimmer’s apartment... on foot. At least her place isn’t so bad. I mean, it’s relatively small, but it’s cozy and has a certain warmth to it. But nothing can compare to Fluttershy’s cottage. Oh, nothing in the world can!
“Hmpf, not bad. Could certainly be better but... that’ll do.”
“I’m sure it’ll grow on you, Discord. It certainly did to me.”
“Yeah yeah whatever. You brought me here, so surely that means you’ve got a bed worthy of a might draconequus like me?”
Sunset stayed silent for a moment, causing one of Discord’s eyes to twitch nervously. “I, uh, have a couch..?”
“Oh come on!”
Author's Note
Sure been a while since I published something. My college exams are taking a lot of my time away and leaves me too drained of energy to write down stuff, though I still come up with good ideas but never have the time to work on them. It's mental torture at this point.
