So, we got to the changeling train station, where there were… a group of mares. Yeah, it was just Twilight, her friends, Venice Arrow, and Celestia. I knelt down, and opened up my arms. “Hey Venice!” I was honestly scared and excited to see this mare again. I literally haven’t seen this mare in nearly two months, which then led to the following reunion. Venice waved at me, and happily ran up to me, tackling me to the ground and nuzzling my cheek constantly. She was crying, before she promptly brought a hoof down into my thigh. Hard enough to hurt, but not enough to break any bones. Just hard enough to hurt like I got kicked in the balls.

“Ow! What the fuck-”

“You should’ve told me you were planning on moving, you idiot! Do you understand how worried you made me? You moved, you fucking moved away and didn’t think to tell me? I’m your best friend, you’re my best friend, you should’ve told me! At least give me an address so I can still keep in contact with you!” Venice snarled. She sighed, and took a couple of deep breaths. “Sorry about hitting you so hard; you just made me think you vanished until Twilight told me you moved out here, and was planning on visiting you, wherever you were. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I… wanted to just disappear. To be a long, distant memory. Because if Chrysalis didn’t wanna let me stay in the Hive, I honestly would’ve killed myself. I didn’t want anyone to really remember me, but then Pinkie had to let every single pony in the area know that I was leaving. I dunno why she didn’t tell you, though… I probably should’ve told you before I did anything, but I also didn’t want anything holding me down. I needed to get away from Ponyville before I killed myself.” I nodded to Chrysalis. “Then an old friend of mine took me in, actually cared for me, and made sure I felt loved and welcomed.” I hugged Venice. “You did a damn good job of that too, Venice. And you’re probably the main reason why I haven’t killed myself yet.”

We both sighed, and Venice looked up at Chrysalis. “Thank you, your highness, for providing a place for my friend. I don’t know how I’d react if Bob killed himself.”

“If it makes you feel better, I did adopt Bob, and have been making sure he eats food when he drowns himself in his work, improving my changelings’ way of life. You would not believe how much dirt, parasites, and other horrible things can be in your drinking water until you filter it all out.” Chrysalis hummed.

Venice raised an eyebrow. “I never noticed; my water’s always crystal clear.”

I started scratching Venice’s ears, which she happily leaned into my palm for. “I may have stuck a water filter in your sink that automatically gets rid of all the shit you don’t want in your water. Did the same for Twilight a while ago. I don’t sell water filters because nobody would believe me if I were to tell them about how dirty their water actually is. I even made sure to filter water before using any of it in Sparkles; I don’t want people getting sick when they’re using my shit.” I shrugged. “Nobody else liked me enough to invite me into their homes, so I never got the chance to install water filters in their homes… They also cost a fuckload to make. When I’m not making them for profit, I can’t really make a lot of them.”

My friend’s ears perked up. “Wait a second, Bob, you’re Prince of the changelings!” Venice grinned. “I bet they all worship you.”

“Nah, I made sure none of them treat me like I’m royalty; I can’t stand having somebody kiss my ass all day. I want some respect, not to be treated like a deity.” I sighed, happily resting my head in the mare’s mane for a few moments. This feels nice. I realized I couldn’t stay like this forever and looked up. “Howdy Celestia, how’s it going?”

The Princess shrugged. “I just learnt that you were apparently more capable of making leaps and wonders than I’ve thought,” she pointed to the bullet train as it zoomed off to its next stop. “That is simply incredible; I’ve never seen anything like it before, and it’s one of your works?” I shrugged.

“I showed the concept off, then the drones that were better at welding and building stuff than I am, made it possible. It’s more of a group effort between myself and the changelings that were willing to listen to my stupid idea. And Chrysalis was also asking them to do it; the drones adore her.” I rubbed my chin. “I can build you a water filter for the palace; you definitely don’t wanna get sick anytime soon from some weird shit in your water… So how’s Luna doing?” a flower floated up to me.

“This is a night lily, Luna asked me to give this to you; she still wants to make amends with you, I hope you don’t so easily forgive her. Even if it would make her the happiest mare in the world,” Celestia sighed. “I don’t know if you will, but it would make her happier. It would also make me happier. We can discuss this more in private. And a certain someponies are here to apologize to you.”

I tapped on my chin. “Luna wronged me once, it was horrible and fucked up, but she only did it once. Those six… Well, all but Twilight, have wronged me so many fucking times, that I’m getting pissed just by looking at them,” I jabbed a thumb towards the palace. “Let’s get moving somewhere that isn’t the train station. We’re blocking quite a few drones from some of our smaller Hives,” everyone looked over to where I was pointing. What was there was… Well, a few drones staring up at us with big, cute-ol’ eyes. “Hey buddy,” the drone stuck his snoot in the palm of my hand, and I swore my heart melted. He even licked me. “We’ll get out of you and your friends’ way.” Chrysalis started leading the way to the palace.

Somehow, we ended up in my den instead of the palace, which is whatever. Mine’s apparently huge, since it was meant to house myself, Echo, and Gengar at the same time. It also had to be big enough to have the workshop, hold materials that were meant to be used in said workshop, and various other things such as a kitchen for myself. I felt bad for having such a big den, but nobody really minded, or said that it was undeserved. In the corner was the beginnings of a morse code machine. Because that’s something we need for communicating between Hives; the Hive Mind only works for so far. I sat down on my bed, and Celestia managed to summon a whole, long table and chair set from somewhere.

Magic, I don’t understand it and I don’t want to.

I sat down, and Gengar was quick to slide onto my lap and rest his head on the table. Rainbow was sitting the closest to me on my right, while Chrysalis was right next to me on my left. I sighed, knowing how shitty this talk is gonna go. Rainbow, because she hates being cool, spoke first. “So Bob…” Her ears were pinned against her head. “I…”

“You wanna rip my heart out? I wouldn’t be shocked, honestly. You’re a bit of a cunt.”

Rainbow’s ears perked up and she quickly shook her head. “I sometimes forget that you’re smarter than animals and have your own emotions. I… I just wanted to say sorry. I’m sorry I drove you into wanting to leave Ponyville.” She whimpered. “I thought you’d be okay with what I was doing; you did agree to it! Look Bob, I’m so, so sorry about what I did to you, and I swear I will make it up to you. I’ve been such a terrible friend to you.” I crossed my arms. “Bob? Are you… even going to say anything,” I'm just gonna sit there, silently staring at this mare while she cries. On one hand, she is cute, on the other, she is a sack of shit. Rainbow Dash apologizing won’t make everyone else in Ponyville treat me nicely.

I sat back in my chair, only for Venice to hop out of hers, Gengar moved, likely because he could feel how angry Venice was. Boy was she mad. The mare hop up onto my lap. “Rainbow Dash, I know you probably meant well with the rodeo, and I know you’re feeling remorseful. But I don’t think Bob is exactly excited to see you; he still has some fresh wounds from the last time you crossed him. “ Venice wasn’t even facing me and I could see the sheer amount of hatred in her eyes. “How many chances did he give you and your friends? How many times have you crossed him in some way before he finally snapped? You and the rest of bucking town drove Bob into leaving Ponyville once, and then drove him into leaving Equestria! What about love and acceptance that our nation preaches; the very foundation that Equestria was built off of?” Venice snarled. “I am personally happy for Bob, even if he never wishes to return to Ponyville, he seems to have at least found somewhere where he’s loved and cherished, and not treating him like an animal!” Her hoof came down on the table with a crack. After a couple deep breaths, she bowed to Chrysalis.

“I still can’t thank you enough for adopting Bob; I think it’ll do wonders for him to have a motherly figure actually taking care of him and loving him.” Chrysalis nodded.

“Of course I would take Bob in; it was kind of odd that he was living alone at his age, and even weirder that he wanted that. If you wish, you may use my Hives’ Railway freely; it goes from here to nearly every major city in Equestria, and into Griffonia as well. You are welcomed here as well, and a citizen of the Hive so you should be allowed to visit myself or Bob at any time.” Chrysalis nodded. “So, Generosity,” Rarity took her gaze off the table. “ Do you have anything to say to Bob before I toss you out of my Hive for a half-hearted attempt at apologizing to him?”

Rarity nodded. “Bob, I am truly sorry for accusing you of being a creep. I just… look too deeply into things, such as relationships that everypony could possibly be in, including you. I… My thoughts of you were jaded, because of some gossip, that you were apparently touching and harassing Venice in places she didn’t want to be touched. Or that you made her pretend she likes being petted. Will you accept my apology?”

I slowly did a window cranking motion with my left hand while holding my right up. Slowly, my middle finger stuck up, before I rolled it back down. “You really should've learnt how to trust me, asshat.” I ruffled Venice’s mane, and she playfully swatted at my hand, so I did it again. Then my hand ended up in her mouth; I lost privilege to that hand. “Me and Venice are best buds; we love each other, and would happily hangout. I don’t treat Venice the same way I woulda treated you, or the rest of your friends. Hell, I even treat Twilight differently. Venice,” I tried to move the hand trapped within the mare’s jaws. “This is something she wouldn’t typically do with anyone but me.” I shrugged. “You are a cunt, Rarity. I ain’t taking any apologies from you, or the rest of your fuckbuddies.”

Except Twilight, but she’s also actually nice to me.

“But… What about you hating holding grudges?” Pinkie asked. “Did you lie about how you’ll always forgive us?”

“No, never made a promise like that. Not once. I don’t like keeping grudges; won’t stop me from keeping them though. You may have been alright, Pinkie, but your friends, and almost all of Ponyville for that matter, have crossed me so many times that I’ve had enough. You motherfuckers call me bumfuck retarded because I ‘relied on Twilight’ whenever I build something that improves your quality of life.

“When I first came to the Hive, Chrysalis knew what I am capable of, and decided to give me a fucking workshop, a work team, and then a larger work team whenever we get a concept working, to improve and mass produce the thing we just came up with. These changelings praise me for the work I put in. Some of them have thanked me after I made those water purifiers. They’re loyal!” I nodded to Echo, who was testing out a mechanical pencil. She put it down and hopped up on my lap beside Venice. She was small enough to the point where the two of them could share without it being too cramped.

“Yes sir?”

“Did you know you’re the cutest, little drone I know?” Echo giggled.

“Don’t let Gengar catch you saying that, sir. He’ll get jealous, and give you the silent treatment… Until you rub his belly at least,” Echo nuzzled me. “Should I get back to work on the mechanical pencil? I was almost done, after all.”

I shook my head and her ears sank. “Bud, you’ve been at that shit for six hours straight. Go take a break, get your fill of love, get a bottle of water while you’re at it. Then come back and finish up; you need a break.” I patted the ‘ling’s head. “Now go take care of yourself before you collapse.” Echo licked my cheek before hopping out of my lap and running off to go get herself some food. I looked back to the ponies in the room. “See? Changelings love me, and I treat them well in return. I build and invent stuff to make their lives better because they treat me like I’m one of them; a person. The only one of you dickheads to tolerate me, aside from Twilight, was Apple Jack, and that’s because I was the only source of Sparkles that she had.”

Apple Jack sighed. “So you dissolved our business deal over something petty? Grow up Bob.” What?

“It was more like you ponies are fucking racist as hell, and drove me into just not wanting to work with you assholes in any meaningful way. I only work with Filthy Rich to some extent, because I like the dude, not because he’s another human being. AJ, you more or less only stuck up with me because we were partners, and ever even tried being friendly when Twilight was nearby. Fuck, that was the case with everyone here except for the Changelings, Venice, and Celestia. Well, and Twilight, but it’s hard to be your own company, I suppose.” I dragged my hands down my face. “Speaking of, hey Celestia,” I hopped out of my chair and moved to be able to rub her back. “How’s life going, being a Pretty Pony Princess?”

“Well, everything is going as per-usual. I run day court, deal with some nobles, and fill out paperwork. Then I usually end the night off with Luna. She seems to be talking quite a bit about you, about how she wants to regain your friendship. I told her she’s not allowed to force her way into your good graces, even if I know how happy you two were when ‘hanging out’ with each other. At the end of the day, she knows what she did was wrong, and hopes you’ll forgive her… someday. At the very least, you’ll forgive her.” I nodded. “I believe our little meeting here is over? I must send my little ponies back up to Ponyville, but I can stay for another hour before I have to get back to running my country.” An idea came to mind.

“Send everyone back if you gotta, I don’t really care, but stay in my room. I’m rubbing the forbidden belly tonight.” Celestia giggled.

“How is it forbidden when I’ve let you rub it all the time before?”

“...I don’t get to rub it all the time!” With that, everyone was led out of my den, except Venice who chose to take a tour of the Hive under Chrysalis’s supervision and was given a warning about the food ponies. After those assholes were gone, Celestia used some sorta magic to turn herself into a roughly Twilight-sized alicorn, before she joined me on my bed. She laid herself across my lap and started purring as I started brushing her, petting her, and just pampering the ever living shit out of her. “So about Luna,” I said mid stroke with a brush. “Tell her I don’t hate her anymore, but she’s gonna have to earn my trust. Like almost getting killed while saving my life, kind of trust. I’ll be nice to her, friendly even, but we won’t exactly be chatting over tea any time soon.” Celestia nodded.

“I suppose that will make her happy. Should I allow her to visit you? I’m a bit scared of what she may do to you alone…” She humorlessly chuckled. “To think, me, Princess of the Sun, scared of what her little sister would do.”

“Because you’re a pony, just as mortal as anyone else, except you don’t age. Just because you’re immortal doesn’t mean you have the mind of a god… But yeah, let Luna visit me. I doubt she can do much against me if Chrysalis is nearby, and you on standby to kick her shit in if she tries anything. At most, she’ll probably get an ear scratch or two, and try to get back into my good graces. Which she will try; she genuinely misses my companionship, Celly.” I sighed and laid my head on the back of her neck. “You are so fucking soft, like holy shit, girl! This is why I want to rub thy forbidden belly; you are so plush and cuddly.” Celestia raised an eyebrow. “What?”

Celestia chuckled. “You just called me fat, and I, as a Pretty Pony Princess, take offense. I only eat cake after every meal, I should be fit!” We both chuckled. “Perhaps,” Celestia summoned a piece of paper and a pen. She wrote something down and it disappeared. “I just cleared my schedule for the next two days. We are going to get our fair share of belly rubs and face and neck licks in during that time.” Oh fuck, face and neck licks. Now those are usually what ponies give me when they like me. I grinned, before Celestia reverted to her old size, and I tipped her over me so we could cuddle a bit more.

“This feels nice. How are you the one racist dickhead to look past what I am?” I asked, resting under one of Celestia’s wings.

“Because you’ve proven your worth to me, and your worth in character.” Celestia sighed. “How about I adopt you as well? Chrysalis may be your adoptive mother, but you could always have two; I already treat you how I would treat my teenage son if I had a son… Minus all the pampering. Then I could have a genuine reason to meet up with you every week.” I shrugged, and the papers were suddenly in front of me. I took a pen out of my pocket before signing them… And writing ‘I Love Cake’ on Celestia’s neck.

She clearly loved that; she put her full weight on my back and kept me pinned for an hour.

Author's Note

so now bob has two moms. epic.