Sugarcube Corner on a Friday afternoon: the six friends had gathered around their usual table and were swapping stories of the day’s classes and it had come around to Ocellus.
“And that was when Force Ten stood up to–”
“Wait, who’s that?” interrupted Smolder.
Ocellus turned to look at her. “Force Ten, that yellow pegasus.” She was met with confused looks from the other five. “Colt, tall… Hang on….”
A flash of blue fire enveloped her and before them stood the ‘colt’, to which she was met with a chorus of recognition. And some very unexpected feelings from Gallus, attraction and… was that jealousy? Gallus who, she now noticed, was suddenly looking rather confused and flustered with his wings flared out. “Gallus? Are you okay?”
“I… Sorry, I just remembered…” he stammered as he stood from the table. “Homework, have to go and do it! I’ll see you all later.” He almost ran through the door and took flight back to the dorms.
“Soooooo that was odd, right?” asked Silverstream.
Sandbar shrugged. “Guy was probably daydreaming, and I think I know what about,” he giggled, “I know a wingboner when I see one.”
“Is that what that’s called?” Silverstream continued her questioning, now in a more excited tone, leading to a gruff chuckle from Smolder.
“Maybe just excited about homework!” Yona chimed in, brash as ever, and launched into a laugh of her own.
Ocellus tuned them all out as she looked in the direction Gallus had gone. She knew better than the simple explanation Sandbar had offered; she had sensed where those feelings were directed, and it was right at her, or in this case, at ‘Force Ten’. She was going to have to talk to him.
Ocellus knocked on Gallus' door; if she was right she was going to have to be gentle with this. “Hey Gallus, it’s me. Is everything okay?”
“Ocellus?” Came his reply through the door. “Sorry, I’m kinda busy with this… annnd you can feel when I’m lying can’t you?” There was a pause, and then in a defeated tone, “Yeah, come on in, not locked or anything.”
She opened the door and walked in to find Gallus sitting on his bed. He didn’t look up at her as she entered, seeming to tense a little before calming himself. “Hey… You left in a real hurry there. Is something wrong?”
“No, It’s not wrong… I know that at least. Just,” he sighed, “really confusing.”
She took a seat beside him. “Well, what is it you don’t know?”
“I… Look, it's going to sound silly.” His wings fidgeted at his side. “It’s not a big thing, nothing you should worry about.”
“Sounds like it’s really important to you. That makes it important to me.”
“I don’t… I don’t know, okay. I don’t know a lot of things about… this.”
“Would it help if I told you what I’ve noticed?” A nod from the gryphon. “I noticed how you looked at me, when I was Force Ten. I could feel what you were feeling there. That you found him attractive. Gallus… Are you Gay?”
In the smallest voice she had ever heard from him, Gallus responded, “I… maybe? But I don’t…”
“But you don’t know for sure?” she questioned. “I suppose you could be bi, I have also noticed how you look at Silverstream.”
“I don’t know what I am!” He threw his talons up. "It’s not like I could read about any of this, have you seen the library back home? Not like it’s safe to just… ask someone there either.” His talons fell back to his sides where they gripped the mattress as if for support. “I just know that when I think about what sort of creature I want to be with, it's usually not a girl. And sometimes–” His beak clamped shut.
Ocellus laid a hoof on his shoulder, waiting for him to continue. When he didn’t she gently prompted him with a squeeze of her hoof. “And? I’m listening if you want to say.”
“And sometimes… sometimes I’m not me. Not a rooster.”
Ocellus’ head tilted. “Do you think of yourself as a hen?”
He shrugged, “Sometimes. It’s not always the same, sometimes I don’t think I’m a rooster or a hen.” He flinched and quickly added, “Sorry, that doesn’t make sense does it.”
She felt Gallus starting to withdraw from her touch, shrinking back as if in fright, but she pulled him tight into a hug. “Actually," she started, "it sounds a lot like me.”
Gallus trembled in her hooves but she could feel the wave of relief coming off of him. “Would it help you to know there’s a word for it?” For a few moments, she wasn’t sure if she would get an answer, but then she felt a nod from the gryphon. “Non-binary, creatures who don’t identify as male or female.”
She felt Gallus shift in her embrace, and she let him, leading to him looking back at her with a confused but curious expression. “Wait, but… aren’t you a girl?” he asked, incredulous. His eyes were still wide, and his voice didn’t have the edge he’d usually put into it.
“You’re half right.” She giggled at the growing confusion on the poor griff’s face. “There’s a lot of different ways to be non-binary, for me it’s demigender. Identifying partially with male or female, female in my case.”
“What if… what if it keeps changing?” His voice shook with nerves but his eyes shone with hope. “Is there a word for that?”
“Genderfluid, where your identity is in flux.” She gave him the warmest smile she could muster, kind and gentle as the sun. “Does that sound like it might apply to you?”
“I… it’s a thing? I’m not…There are others like that?” Now it was his turn to pull Ocellus into a hug, arms and wings thrown around her. “I… I can… Thank you. It… I think it does.” She could feel tears falling onto her chitin, but the only emotions coming off the gryphon were relief and joy. “I think it does”
Author's Note
An idea struck me the other day of writing stories about characters who are not in denial of being queer, they just don't have the knowledge to figure it out themselves or explain it. And Gallus struck me as the perfect character to do this with. With the help of a good friend, Silver Scroll, this became the result of that idea.
