SL-5: Love, Fluff, and Thunder

Getting groceries shouldn’t send me into a mental breakdown.

Nilli leaned her head on the cool refrigerator, taking a few deep breaths. Three days of barely any sleep, and then having to push herself through a short modeling session had been bad enough.

Then some sleezy hippogriff had somehow gotten past security and grabbed down her side. He had been aiming for somewhere else. The gryphoness’s claws still hurt from the punch she had reacted with. Her blow had almost shattered his beak; at least broken it and given him two black eyes.

Garti had been needed elsewhere for that day, and the fact the temporary fill-in manager wasn’t very sympathetic told Nilli all she needed to know about their priorities. A quick call to Garti sorted that out, and the gryphoness didn’t envy what would transpire for the poor soul.

It had still kicked her already cruddy day off a cliff.

I don’t like being touched even on a good day.

Of course, the gryphoness didn’t have a ton of experience to base that thought on, only her initial impressions. She just wasn’t initially cuddly, and that matched her personality at least in part.

I’m not mean. I just don’t have the energy to be all fluffy and nice.

Whether it was an excuse or not, the gryphoness wasn’t entirely sure. When you operated constantly on a lack of sleep and headaches, being courteous eventually took a back seat over just getting through the day. Maybe she wasn’t naturally prickly like other gryphons; Tanzil seemed to think so. But day in and day out…what else could she do?

Putting a few necessary ingredients into her basket, Nilli accidentally sent a package of pasta onto the floor. In true comedic fashion, it sprayed out the contents across the whole aisle.

It was such a simple thing. All she had to do was reach down and sweep them up. A wave of her claws could do it with magic. Yet her logical thoughts refused to respond. Instead, tears gathered in the gryphoness’s eyes as she stared at the mess. She set down the basket with trembling claws, huddling into a corner. A simple cloaking spell covered the gryphoness as she cried.

Pathetic. You’re crying over spilled pasta.
Some strong gryphon you are.

The burning tears trickled down the usually stoic gryphoness’s face, Nilli’s temples throbbing in pain as emotion clogged her throat. It had been a while since she had a good cry, and it showed. Between the lack of sleep and the anxiety of everyone being on edge, she had been operating on a hair trigger for so long.

Tanzil had been a pleasant, regular influence in her life. But the occasional communications with him were clearly laden with stress as of late. Twilight made him happy, and Nilli was glad he had a sane influence in his life.

And yet…

I just don’t have anyone to talk to.

It was a harsh reminder of why the gryphoness moved away. Creatures she thought were friends were just in it for clout, for the fame. The first time had been a fluke she had managed to write off.

The second time her “friends” and early special-somegriff had showed their real colors, something inside the gryphoness had broken, and it was still healing. All she wanted was-

“Nilliana?”

A familiar voice made the gryphoness raise her head. Swiping an arm across her face, Nilli couldn’t help but hiss. “Of course. The one creature who could s-see through my magic. Perfect timing,” she muttered rather bitterly. “What do you want, Arcane?”

The pony took a few steps closer, swaying back and forth.
“Sorry. Can’t help it,” he admitted. “Have to focus to not see magic stuff. Ish kind of hard right now. Not much enerfy…” The stallion then looked at her closely, eyes narrowing. “Are you real? Hmmm. Sheems to be. Ok, good.”

Nilli’s eyebrows raised at the slurring of words. “Are you drunk? Seriously?” she half-snarled. That was the last thing the gryphoness wanted to deal with right now. “I’m not in the mood to chat, let alone with a drunkard.”

Arcane tilted his head as if thinking, blinking slowly as the levitated grocery basket at his side wavered slightly.

“Oh. Sorry. Didn’t mean to chat a lot. Not drunk, just burned out. I guess it feels the same. I dunno.” he explained. “Had an interview yesterday on the news. Pushed myself. Went home, almost blew up my house. Well, again. Inhibitors didn’t work as well,” the pony’s brow furrowed. “They should have worked better. Whooaaaaa one second.” Arcane wobbled on his hooves, steadying himself. “World shpinning.”

Looking up at her, Arcane seemed to be trying to mentally collect himself, as if every focused thought needed extra effort.

“I just wanted to ask if you’re ok. Y’know. Crying in a store and stuff,” he said. “I’m cloaked too. I made a copy of the aisle we’re in so nobody can know about us!” The pony then grinned rather cheekily, looking rather proud of himself. “I thought she’d appreciate that.”

“…what?”

It took a few seconds for Nilliana to realize that Arcane didn’t have a filter, and was narrating his thoughts. The situation was just ludicrous enough to make her tears stop. If not for her horrific day, it’d have been a rather amusing situation. So, there was that. His speech patterns were simpler and more direct. It was almost like speaking with a foal.

“I’m not doing okay,” she finally said, annoyance tempering down to general exhaustion. “I’ve had a horrid day, and just one of those times a little thing sends you over the edge. I haven’t had more than a few hours of sleep in days,” she managed to say with a huff. “I just wanted to get my groceries, but ended up crying over spilled pasta.”

“That’s not fun,” Arcane said rather simply, his voice clearing slightly. “I know how that feels. Being tired.”

“Oh, do you?” Nilliana asked sarcastically, any barriers to cordial discussion taking far too much energy. “I have to manage a shop, deal with my side career, try not to go nuts from everycreature being on edge, and go through day-to-day life half asleep! I probably am keeping the pharmacy afloat with my painkiller purchases alone! Feeling cruddy is the norm for me, and it’s exhausting! I don’t need your pity. I can get that for free when talking to any pony. So really, do you know what it’s like? I doubt it.” A bit of guilt pricked at the gryphoness’s heart as Arcane’s ears drooped, his demeanor sagging.

He was just trying to help.

“Yeah, I do know what it’s like,” he said softly, eyes clearing to match his voice. “I don’t sleep well. It was nice when Fluttershy was there to snap me out of it when I woke up screaming, but I can’t rely on her all the time. So, not sleeping sometimes helps. Not a lot of fun though. Have to choose between nightmares- well, memories I guess, or feeling exhausted.” The stallion’s eyes drifted to the ground. “Can’t tell anyone. I don’t want pity. Just someone to listen.” He then frowned with a frustrated grunt. “Too personal. Stupid. Shouldn’t have said that to her. Scares creatures.”

Nilliana could only stare. Then again, hearing how someone else’s day was even worse was a fair distraction. It didn’t help her feel better, but it put things in perspective.

Just someone to listen…

“Stars above, Arcane. I didn’t know it was that bad,” Nilliana said.

He simply shrugged, wobbling on his hooves. “Eh. Almost nobody does. Not a big deal. Not anyone’s job to care. But I can try to care. I want to. You helped me. So, I can at least say hi and see if you’re ok.”

“The potions? Well, glad they helped,” Nilliana said with a shrug, watching as a flicker of chaos magic scooped up the pasta and put it back on the shelf.

“The potions? Oh, yeah, they were great. Wasn’t talking about that though,” Arcane’s ears then flattened. “Stupid. She wouldn’t know. Obviously forgot. Or I’m wrong.”

“Not the potions? Does that have to do with what you said about my eyes?”

Nilliana watched as the light violet unicorn nodded, dark blue mane hiding his face as if out of embarrassment.

“Yeah. Is silly. Didn’t phrase it right. Sounded weird,” he admitted.

“Well, I’m exhausted, but in a bit better of a mood now. Can you at least tell me what that was about? You said something about knowing those eyes, and then vanished.”

She hadn’t seen many stallions get embarrassed. Not like this. Usually, it was the angry type of embarrassment. The blush that lit up Arcane’s face was something far different. It wasn’t rage or frustration.

Arcane’s mane was brushed out of his eyes, black pupils looking at the gryphoness as a shimmering array of light surrounded their depths. Despite the cacophony of colors, there was a familiar warmth. A genuine, innocent appreciation Nilliana recognized from back in the shop. It punched through her exhaustion and headache in an odd way that soothed her heart.

“Probably bad time to explain,” he said, shoulders slumping. “Can’t think right. But you asked. It’s silly. Maybe I’m wrong.” The stallion sat down, reaching up to rub a temple with a hoof.
“Don’t want to talk too much. Bad memories. The company tried to make me have burnouts for study. Dunno when it happened, but I saw two green eyes. Looked exactly like yours. Was n-nice for s-someone to see me. To hear me.” The unicorn’s lips trembled. “To know I e-existed.”

The pain in the unicorn’s eyes was frightening as he looked away. Arcane shook his head, standing up. “Bad memories. Don’t want to say more. Already chatted too much when you said not in the mood. Sorry. That was blunt. Not a topic for a good mood.”

Nilliana couldn’t speak for a few moments. Of the things she had expected, even from Arcane, that hadn’t even been close to one of them.

“No, it’s-it’s alright. Maybe you could stop by in the shop when we’re both feeling better?”

His demeanor visibly brightened, the stallion nodding as he picked up the grocery basket.

“I’d like that,” he said softly. “I won’t keep you any longer. Silly. Talked too much. I need to stop that. I always just ramble. Creatures won’t like that. She certainly won’t,” the last words were added as if an afterthought, a slight frown twitching at his mouth. “Hope you feel better, Nilliana.”

The world flexed, and the gryphoness was left alone in her intact cloaking bubble. With a wave of her claws, she dispelled it and calmly paid for her groceries. It was a simple matter to teleport back to her shop, the gryphoness finally letting out a long, tired breath.

“Well. That was something,” she sighed, flopping onto the couch. “He’s quite the character. I wonder if he’ll remember any of that?”

Oddly, Nilli realized that she wasn’t that frustrated or sad anymore. In his odd way, that stallion had made her day a bit better. If not from the experiences he had shared, simply being a neutral party.

He doesn’t want pity. Neither do I.
We just want someone to be there.

Pondering over her memories, Nilli frowned at first. She didn’t remember anything about seeing Arcane, or anyone like him, not even remotely recently.

He saw my eyes, or something like that. Maybe I would have just seen his?

“Surely I’d have remembered if-” She drew in a sharp breath, the gryphoness’s thoughts freezing.

She did remember seeing those eyes.

In a house near a large observatory, Arcane finished putting his groceries away, the stallion curling up on one of the large beanbags in the living room.

“That went well. At least I didn’t say anything silly,” he said with a happy, tired, sigh. “That would have been embarrassing.”