Finding Your Family

Spike, Scootaloo, Twilight and Thorax sat with their faces covered by claws or hooves. Twilight had expected more problems to arise with Scootaloo's parents, but she hadn't expected them to arise this quickly.

Twilight was the first to raise her head, taking a deep breath. She turned to Snap and Mane. "Would you two go out into the hallway for a moment? I'll call you back in once I've dealt with this."

"We think we should be in attendance," argued Snap. "Our daughter is the one being indoctrinated, here."

Twilight held up her hoof. "I'll call you back in when it's time."

"Fine." Mane stood up. "Come on, Scootaloo..."

"She stays," commanded Twilight. "She needs to see what happens."

With a nod, Mane and Snap stepped out into the hallway. Twilight immediately locked the door and put up a sound barrier just as Thorax broke down in a fit of tears and laughter.

"Thorax!"

"I'm sorry!" he wheezed. "I'll just need a moment, you go on..."

As he moved aside to resolve his fit of giggles, Twilight took another deep breath. It didn't do much to hide the fact that she, too, was giggling. "Now, Scootaloo, I want the whole truth. It's not that I don't trust Spike; I do, but you were there when it happened, and Spike was here. Undoubtedly, you and Spike had a conversation about this sudden influx of sex toys. Would I be correct in that assumption?"

"Yeah," sighed Scootaloo. She wasn't quite happy about Thorax laughing at her situation, but had enough emotional maturity not to blame him. After this ordeal was over, she'd probably laugh about it, too, or if it had happened to somepony else.

"Good. Communication is important, after all. My question is, was there anything there that he hadn't just brought home?"

Spike looked up. "Twilight, you know I wouldn't!"

Twilight held her hoof up. "Answer the question, Scootaloo. And be honest."

Scootaloo thought back. "No, I don't think Spike had one to begin with. In fact, he should be pretty satisfied now that I'm back."

"Scootaloo?!" gasped Spike.

"Twilight, you see Spike five days a week. You have him for the whole day. You know he's not a sexual deviant."

"Yeah, he's not nearly as bad as... that other guy..." deflected Thorax. Despite everyone in the room being aware that he was talking about himself, only Spike and Scootaloo knew that Scootaloo had been let in on that secret.

"I'm just checking to make sure," dismissed Twilight. "I was pretty sure all of that stuff was new."

"Like I said, it was still in its original packaging," confirmed Scootaloo.

"Okay." Twilight took another breath. "Where were they being stored?"

"In a box under the bed," answered Spike. "I didn't have a better place to put them to keep them away from the kids."

"Yeah, that locking cabinet isn't big enough to hold all of them," nodded Twilight.

"Especially since it's full of condoms, lube, and that one vibrating dildo," added Scootaloo.

All eyes went wide and turned to Scootaloo.

"What?"

"Is that yours, or Spike's?"

Twilight smacked Thorax for even asking.

Scootaloo blushed as the realisation washed over her. "Oh. Yeah, it's mine."

During one of their scheduled meet-ups, Spike had been particularly busy with an emergency crisis in Equestria; a swarm of parasprites had swarmed Appleloosa, and Spike was helping Twilight with food distribution while they waited for Pinkie to come to the rescue. To rescue Scootaloo from being "lonely," Smolder had given it to her. It had seen three uses in four years, because that was how often Spike missed their meets.

Twilight clapped her hooves. "Okay. We now have a firm grasp of the situation."

"Better the situation than the alternative."

Thorax was smacked again. "Now, with the situation now fully understood, I have the solution. Wait right here." In a flash of light, Twilight was gone.

Thorax turned to Scootaloo. "Your parents love you very much."

"I know," sighed Scootaloo. "I don't feel that way right now, but I know it."

"I can taste it," said Thorax. "It's that powerful."

"I wish they could be happy for me," sighed Scootaloo.

"They are. They're just more scared."

"Don't be silly," chuckled Scootaloo. "My parents fight cragodiles and ursas and other monsters all the time. They're not scared of anything."

"They're scared that Spike is going to turn you against them."

"That's ridiculous," scoffed Spike. "I would never!"

"I know that," nodded Thorax. "You both know that, Twilight knows that, everyone in Ponyville knows that. But her parents aren't residents of Ponyville."

With another flash, Twilight returned, sliding a key across the table. "There is a locked chest in your basement, tucked under your train table."

"You still have the train table?" smiled Thorax.

"He does," answered Twilight. "And the whistle you gave him."

"Nice."

"So, we keep the box locked," concluded Scootaloo. "That is what you were about to say, right, Twilight?"

"Yes," nodded Twilight. "It solves the problem of keeping your parents out of it, and also hiding them from your kids."

"Thanks, Twilight," sighed Spike. "I don't know what we'd do without you. You've saved our scales."

"Don't even worry about it," smiled Twilight. "Now, look..." she pressed her hooves together and leaned in. "I can't be called on for every small thing, and I know you two aren't the cause of that. But if you can, do try to come up with viable solutions on your own." She clapped twice. "Here's a good idea, Scootaloo. Why don't you go for a fly with your mother? One of the big reasons you wanted to stay with Spike in the first place is that he cured your inability to fly; tell her that."

"Well, I guess I don't have a lot of options," sighed Scootaloo. "She already scared off my tutor, and he's probably preparing to go to work by now, so we can't really finish. That's two days I have to make up for, and a book I still have to retrieve." She sighed. "Well, I guess I can go see my aunts. They apparently have my weather book."

"That's the spirit," smiled Twilight. "Now, I'm about to let your parents back in. Thorax, prepare to look disappointed. Spike, look hurt, and Scootaloo, look scared. Ready?"

Everyone took their poses, though Thorax added a bit of disgust to his disappointment. Twilight put on a scowl, and unlocked the door, disspelling the sound block. "You can come back in, now..."