Finding Your Family

by Kiernan

Rating: mature
Tags: Sex, Slice of Life, Drama, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Romance, Scootaloo
Length: 51192

After being separated by laws for almost ten years, Scootaloo and Spike can be together again. Marriage is at the front of their minds, but they've forgotten the many complications involved...

Ten years ago, Scootaloo was transformed into a dragon via the love that Spike showed her. Since then, she has been living with the dragons, under the close supervision and political protection of Dragon Lord Ember, along with their three hatchlings.

Now that the hatchlings have come to the age stipulated in the laws that bound her to that land, she and her children are free to leave the dragon lands and move back to Ponyville, where Spike has been waiting, preparing their residence for just such an occasion.

A wedding is soon in the works, but there are a few hiccups along the way.

Requested by chazkopa.

Published 2023-09-08 06:10:00 UTC
Last updated 2023-11-17 16:11:59 UTC

Chapter the Second: Leaving the Dragon Lands

Scootaloo awoke with a start, bolting upright and clutching her sheets to her chest. She panted heavily for a few moments, then took some deep breaths. She'd just had a nightmare about what could possibly go wrong in moving back to Ponyville. While Princess Luna herself had appeared to tell her that everything would be okay, even she had admitted that Scootaloo had good reason to be afraid.

Nevertheless, Scootaloo had been told in her youth that bravery was not a lack of fear. She had learned long ago that she was to face her fears, rather than avoid them. Bravery meant continuing forward in spite of her fears.

She took a deep breath and stood up, turning around and pulling up her sheets and laying them out on the floor. In it, she placed her pillow, and atop that, her rolled-up mattress. Sleeping on padding was not something most dragons did, but Scootaloo was only a dragon in body. Her heart still beat as a pony, and it was time to return to that life.

As she packed away the last of her bedroom belongings, she made her way to the bathroom. This would be the last time she would brush her teeth here, the last time she would wash her face in this basin and the last time she would examine her face in this mirror. At least, it would be so for a long time, if everything worked out as intended. She harbored no ill will toward Scepter and Mace, but it was time she took the next step in her life, and that meant leaving her hosts. Perhaps she'd come back and visit, were she allowed, but who could be certain?

As she moved into the kitchen, she found that Rainbow Dash was already awake. "Hey, Squirt. Up already?"

"Nightmare," nodded Scootaloo. "All better now."

"Glad to hear it," answered Dash. She looked around, then waved Scootaloo over. "To tell you the truth, I had one, too," she whispered.

Scootaloo gripped her hoof in solidarity. "This is a big change. I was expecting to have some trepidation, but... just because I braced myself for it doesn't mean it's not hitting me like a ton of bricks."

"Hey, if other ponies start messing with you, just call me, and I'll rough 'em up for ya." Dash flew up to once and a half her own height to rub her hoof over Scootaloo's head. She'd grown rather significantly since she'd left Ponyville.

This made Scootaloo consider what would happen when she returned. When she had toured around Ponyville as a dragon, she had tried to hide her identity a bit, but how many of her previous relationships would change now that she was returning? Would Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom still be her friends, now that they were all adults?

"Earth to Scootaloo!"

She blinked a few times. "What happened?"

"I was asking what you wanted for breakfast. Eggs?"

"Eggs, yeah."

A few hours later, everything was packed up and ready to go. The kids had all been fed, the adults had all been fed, and most of the good-byes had been completed the day before. All that remained now was Scepter and Mace, who very quickly hugged the children wordlessly.

Scootaloo, however, had something she needed to say. "I can't think you enough for both putting us up, and for putting up with us for almost ten years. I owe you both a debt of gratitude I cannot repay."

"Try anyway," joked Mace.

"Seriously, I don't know what I'd have done without you..."

After receiving a hug from both, Scootaloo hooked herself up to the wagon with Rainbow Dash. The three kids would take flight behind them, with Smolder and Garble taking up the rear. "You okay if I lead?" asked Dash.

"Go ahead," nodded Scootaloo. "You know the way better than I do."

"Just let me know if I'm going too fast, okay? Ready?"

"Ready."

With a swift gallop from Dash, and a run from Scootaloo, they took off into the air, hauling their cart behind them. The rest of the team followed suit, in order.

Scootaloo was easily able to keep up with Dash, her wings twice as big and just as heavy. She'd been flying ever since she'd been transformed, and knew the local area well. She knew every dragon that lived in her caldera, as well as the neighboring craters. She'd seen it from above multiple times, but it felt almost cold, now that she knew she wouldn't be back for a while. She was just as scared of leaving as ever, but still she flew.

Dash began to turn, and Scootaloo followed. She didn't have a lot of practice with flying in synchronicity, as beyond teaching her children, flying alongside another dragon had seen the other flier compensating for her. Still, it didn't take much to figure out where she needed to be. It wasn't long at all before they approached the edge of the mountain range, and Dash began to slow down.

"What is it?" asked Scootaloo. "Why are we slowing?"

"Just need to see behind us," answered Dash. "Your kids have never been beyond this point. I need to be sure they're not falling behind. They didn't sound very confident yesterday."

Scootaloo craned her neck back, and sure enough, Rainbow Slash was sinking in altitude. Right behind her, Smolder was doing much the same, soon taking her by the claw and bringing her back up. With a wave from Scootaloo, however, she was brought to the front.

"I know how hard this is," assured Scootaloo, placing a claw on her shoulder. "We all do. But it has to be done."

"I know..."

"Tell ya what," said Dash. "You wanna ride on my shoulders? I can show you all the cool stuff on the way."

After pausing for a moment, Slash nodded, moving down to nestle between Dash's shoulders. Once she was situated, Smolder moved back into position.

"You sure you'll be okay with the extra weight?" asked Scootaloo. "I can take the lead, if you want."

"Did you forget who you're talking to?" scoffed Dash. "I'm awesome! Let's kick it up a notch, why don't we? See if you can keep up, Squirt!" With a hardy flap of her wings, Rainbow Dash charged on ahead out of the dragon lands, crossing the range that carried the border to Equestria.

Chapter the Third: Return to Ponyville

As they came up over the ridge, Ponyville came into view. Dash had seen it from this angle countless times, depending on the location of Cloudsdale, but Scootaloo only once, when she looked back on her way out. "Welcome home, Squirt," Dash smiled, looking over at Scootaloo. "There's a quick customs inspection, but once you pass, Twilight will have you listed as Equestrian citizens."

Slash swallowed. "What if we don't pass?"

"You will," answered Scootaloo. "Don't worry."

They began their descent, landing near the edge of town as one of the Wonderbolts moved to intercept them with four guards in tow.

"Hey, Rainbow," smiled the Wonderbolt, approaching Dash first. "These are the ones moving in?"

"The very same," smiled Dash. "This is my goddaughter, Rainbow Slash, behind us are her siblings, Cudgel and Barb, and this is their mother, Scootaloo."

The Wonderbolt turned to Scootaloo and offered his hoof to shake. "A pleasure to meet you. My name's--"

"Soarin," answered Scootaloo, shaking it. "We have met before, briefly. You were my second favourite Wonderbolt ever!"

"Second favourite?"

"I was the head of the Rainbow Dash fan club when I was younger."

Soarin nodded. "I can respect that. If there was a pony that I would be okay coming second to, Rainbow's a good candidate from that list." He looked at the cart full of stuff. "Now, I know you've been planning to come to Ponyville for quite awhile at this point, and you already have permission from Princess Twilight, but we will have to inspect your wagon. Legally, we can't let you in, otherwise. It's a safety matter. Follow me, please?"

As they all followed Soarin to the guard station, Slash leaned down and whispered in Dash's ear, "What if he takes all of our stuff away?"

"He won't," answered Dash. "I inspected all of your stuff as it was being loaded up. You're safe."

"But what if we're not?"

"Then I will personally ensure that you receive a pardon. Trust me, you're going to be fine."

Slash still clung to Dash's shoulders, shaking.

Cudgel approached his mother. "Hey, my figurines are all carrying weapons. Is that going to cause a problem?"

"Probably not," answered Scootaloo. "But yours are made of metal, so make sure you're careful with the ones your new friends have, and make sure not to melt them on accident. They're more fragile here, so be on your best behaviour."

As they approached the building, two of the guards took hold of the carriage and undid the bindings that held Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo to it. One by one, every dragon and Rainbow Dash filed into the building and into different rooms, as directed by Soarin. He and the other two guards rotated through the rooms, asking very basic questions that were only necessary for the paperwork. The whole thing was over in half an hour.

When they were done, Soarin brought them all back out. "Starting with the youngest, Barb, female, age nine. Scales purple, spines fibrous and green. Green and pink eyes." He flipped to the next page. "Next is Rainbow Slash. Excellent name, by the way. Age is nine, female, red in colouration. Hard, rainbow-coloured spines, and heterochromic eyes, light blue left and dark brown right. Cudgel, male, also nine, but hatched one day earlier." He looked up at Scootaloo. "Hatched, right?"

"Yes, all hatched."

"Right. Orange with hard purple spines, eyes yellow-green. Scootaloo, female, age twenty-three, orange scales, purple hard spines, purple eyes. You had to apply for a new ID solely because we can't change your race in the database. It's a rare occurrence, but it's happened before." He gave her all four pieces of printed out paper. "Finally, Smolder. Female, orange scales, purple fibrous spines, light blue eyes." He gave her her own slip of paper. "Welcome to Equestia, and welcome to Ponyville."

"What about us?" asked Garble, pointing his thumb at Rainbow Dash.

"Oh, right." Soarin tossed a small clip-on badge to Garble. "Here's your visitor's badge."

"And I live here," answered Dash. "I'm not moving in; I did that decades ago."

Scootaloo turned to Smolder. "You're moving in?"

Smolder nodded. "Princess Twilight needed another research assistant, Dragon Lord Ember wanted a dragon in Ponyville in case you needed any immediate assistance, and I needed something to do. Win-win-win."

They moved through the opposite door from where they entered, where the two guards that had taken their luggage were waiting. "Sir, we've concluded that all items are safely packed and pose no risk to the town," one saluted to Soarin.

"Excellent work," nodded Soarin. "I'll take it from here."

As he and Dash fit themselves into the cart, Scootaloo noticed the way they operated. The way they touched, smiled and talked, there was more there than a simple respect or work-related relationship. These two were seeing each other.

"This place has changed since I was last here," noted Scootaloo. "Lots of ponies coming in."

"More than ponies," huffed Soarin. "Yaks, changedlings, hippogriffs, and countless others. Ponyville has quickly become the seat of harmony in Equestria. Sure, there's some dissonance, but even then, we end up sending out harmony to stop disagreements all over Equestria from this very point. It's kind of great, actually, but has forced a lot of growth. In fact, there's now a Wonderbolts base located right here in town. That's three total cities that have them now: Cloudsdale, where they were founded, Canterlot, which has the best training ground, and now right here in Ponyville because of how much busier the place is."

"I had heard about some dragons moving in," answered Scootaloo.

"Yeah, but not as common. They're still being a bit distant, but you would know more than I do when it comes to dragon culture."

"So, where are we located?"

Dash pointed the direction they were heading. "You're out on the west end, near where Fluttershy used to live."

"Used to?" gasped Scootaloo. "What happened?"

"Land development," shrugged Soarin. "As more citizens moved to Ponyville, the population became more and more dense, and more houses had to be built to spread out a bit further."

"She lives near Sweet Apple Acres on the east side, now," assured Rainbow Dash. "She's fine, and Applejack's been keeping things nice and easy for her. But what was once the area with the nicest gardens and large open fields now has public parks and duplexes. She decided she was going somewhere with a bit more green. Now that spot is less good for raising animals, but better for raising kids."

Chapter the Fourth: New House

Scootaloo barely recognized Ponyville as she walked through it. Everything seemed to be both bigger and smaller than she remembered it. All of the infrastructure seemed smaller, such as the town square, which was aglow with the rumblings of the open market that had set up for today. But at the same time, individual places seemed to have grown significantly. Sugarcube Corner, for example, had a large addition added to the side, something that, when Scootaloo pointed it out, Dash had clarified that it was actually two additions stacked on top of each other, and if you went upstairs, you could still see the seams.

As they came into their neighborhood, Scootaloo was quick to look at Fluttershy's old place, and it'd been sold to an elderly couple of yaks, and their grandson, who was attending Twilight's School of Friendship. All of this was laid out by Soarin as they walked past, eventually stopping a block away, where no buildings had been when Scootaloo left.

The house was fairly large at two stories. Unlike most of the other houses nearby, which were primarily constructed of wood, this one had a stone base that was not coated in a façade. The upper levels were, in fact, made from wood, but coated in lime and painted orange. What was most odd, though, was the roof. While every other house in the area had thatched rooves, as was fairly common in Ponyville, this one had dark blue terra cotta half-rounds.

"This is it," smiled Dash, backing the cart up to the entrance. "Let's unload."

"This is our cave?" asked Cudgel. "Why does it look so weird?"

"It's not a cave," answered Scootaloo. "This is a house. It does look a bit strange, but it's ours."

There was a small pit in Scootaloo's stomach. She had to wonder if this was what it felt like when one spouse made a major decision without the input of the other. Scootaloo had no say in which house to purchase, as she had been out of the country when this had been decided, but her other option was to live nowhere for awhile as they shopped around. She knew that Spike had made the right decisions, but that didn't stop her from feeling left out. She shook the thought from her head as Spike opened the door and invited them in.

"Let us handle the heavy lifting," said Soarin. "You four go take the tour. Dash, Smolder, Garble and I will handle this."

With a nod, Scootaloo went inside, pulling Spike into a kiss. "The place looks great."

You've only seen the outside," kissed Spike back. "You know the real beauty is what's on the inside."

Scootaloo couldn't help but laugh at the cheesiness of the line. "Alright, let's look around."

The foyer was a rather long hallway, with two stairwells on the right side, stacked on top of each other. The one going down was made of stone, while the one going up was wooden, but with metal balustrades. From the hallway, six openings branched off, two of them with doors. The floor was hardwood, with a rug running its length on the left side, opposite the stairs.

"So, let's start with the least interesting room in the house," said Spike, opening one of the doors. Behind it was a large closet. "Very uninteresting. But that's okay. It's just a closet."

"What's it for?" asked Slash.

Spike pulled out his raincoat and hat, leaving them on the hanger. "Boots, jackets, umbrellas, sports equipment... It's storage by the front door." He hung his gear back on the rack and picked up his galoshes. "You know, for when you need it."

He put down the boots and moved to the next room, the other closed door. Inside was a half bathroom, with just a toilet and a sink.

"No Shower?" asked Scootaloo.

"Two upstairs," answered Spike. "This one's for guests, especially at parties or those who can't climb stairs."

Scootaloo nodded. She knew what it was like to be disabled, as she'd only found her wings with a bit of magic from Spike. She'd known a few ponies unable to climb stairs, and how difficult that could be. It was unlikely that Spike was thinking about them in selecting this bathroom design, but it was at least nice that he had considered the option.

Through a large archway, they entered into a living room, with a couch, loveseat and armchair, enough seating for six. The floor was covered in a very large area rug, and another archway led into a separate room. "This is our main living area. I've ordered a coffee table for in here, but it's still being worked on."

Through the archway, they walked into a study where the entire north wall was nothing but bookshelf. "Twilight insisted that we have this installed," blushed Spike. "That piano was my decision, though." He pointed to the corner, where an upright piano sat next to another armchair.

Through the next archway, they went into the hall, and from there, another few steps brought them into the kitchen. The countertops were all stone, with a deep metal sink with two compartments and a spray nozzle. "Let me show you my favourite part," grinned Spike.

Opening a cabinet door, he grabbed one of the shelves and pulled. On wheels, the entire rack came out and rolled across the floor. "I made it so that it's really easy to move stuff around the kitchen!" he gushed. "With normal cabinets, it's going to be hard to clean if we grow any larger, but with this, we just pull it out and clean it that way! Plus, if we want to rearrange stuff, it's as easy as pulling the whole rack out and putting it in another cabinet, instead of taking everything out piece by piece and then putting it back piece by piece." As he put the rack back, he pulled out another one. "And this one is pretty cool, too." He pulled on the top handle, and with a scissor lift action, all of the drawers separated vertically. "No more will a lopsided spatula hold the drawers closed."

After putting everything away, he moved to the dining room through the archway. A large dining table was surrounded by six chairs. It was a simple design, but it was a dining room. The only thing that made it different from normal was that the tabletop was made of stone slabs. Still, they were fire-breathing dragons. Fireproof fixtures were a must.

Chapter the Fifth: Settling In

As Rainbow Dash, Soarin, Garble and Smolder moved everything upstairs, Spike took his family down to the basement to show them what lurked below.

"It's chilly down here," mentioned Cudgel. "Is that intentional?"

"Basements are nice in the summer," answered Spike. "They hold their temperatures pretty well, and they're quite cool. In the winter, they'll hold heat, too."

The walls were made from the same stone as outside, but washed with lime and painted over for a faux brick look. The wall layout almost mirrored the first floor, except that the hallway only extended halfway back.

"So, there's not really a whole lot to the basement," Spike continued. "There are a few rooms that have a purpose, but I didn't really plan out what they'd be. For example, there's another half bath down here, and the utility room, where I had the water heater and furnace installed. I suppose one of the four can be a craft room, as I've already put a writing desk in there, and another room where I've installed a train set."

"What's a train set?" asked Barb.

Spike smiled. "Let me show you."

Spike walked into the room to their right through a stone archway. Flipping a switch, four incandescent light bulbs flickered on, illuminating a large table with a scale model of... Well, nowhere in particular. The U-shaped table had a chair sitting in the middle of it, with a few controls set up. A mountain sat in the middle, with a few noted tunnel entrances, where the model train could enter and exit. The underside was cutaway, as Barb found out when looking underneath it, so that anything that happened inside the mountain could easily be dealt with. If, for example, a grain of sand caused the model to derail inside the structure and fall over, Spike could retrieve it without taking the whole thing apart.

One side of the mountain, where the big loops and bridges were, was modeled after the dragon lands, which notably had no trains running through them. Spike having trains wrapping around dragon land foothills was not a depiction of reality, but rather, wishful thinking on his part.

The other side, which had a railyard and a bunch of track switches, was Equestrian in its topography. It was less fun to watch, but more fun to play with, as Cudgel soon found out when he was told to flip a few switches that changed the loop and sent it through different paths in the mountain.

"It's almost as if you had some spare time to waste," snorted Scootaloo.

"Well, I did," answered Spike. "If I had less than two days, I had to find something to do. So, I made a mock-up of something that would allow me to go to the dragon lands more easily if it actually existed. Maybe if I tried to bridge a smaller gap, we could work on bridging the longer one."

After half an hour or so of oohing and aahing at the train set, they went through the other rooms. One had a small table folded up on one wall, with a few folding chairs, something Spike dismissed with the words, "for playing cards," and the other with a writing desk and file cabinet full of paperwork. The final room was empty, save for a folded-up cot that Spike had presumably slept on for a bit, as there had been no mention of the bedrooms yet.

"Alright, everyone upstairs," waved Spike. "We should have everything moved into place by now."

Not stopping at the first floor, he urged them all the way to the top, where the last six rooms were. First was the first full bathroom, with a tub and shower and everything. This one was to be shared by the kids. The bathroom on the opposite side of the hall seemed to have no door, but through the door to the master bedroom, there it was, a mirror image of the first bathroom. The biggest difference was a locked cabinet, which Spike nodded to Scootaloo as being something he would show her later, something she instantly understood.

They lost Cudgel in the next room, which was understandable, because it was his. Not only had the room been painted to match his scales, not only had his name been written on the wall, not only had his bedspread been picked to match his spines, but all of his stuff was here.

Across the hall from him, Rainbow Slash's room sat, with the same style and setup. After moving from the dragon lands to Ponyville, it was the biggest load off of her mind that she could now dive onto a bed covered head to foot in all of her favourite plushies. It wasn't as good as having her friends around, but it was some degree of comfort, at any rate.

Barb was not given so joyous an entrance, as only about half of her stuff was there, and Rainbow Dash had only just started unpacking everything. "It's just about ready," she said, setting up a stuffed giraffe toy. While Slash was the one more into stuffed animals, all of them had at least a few. Cudgel had opted for models and figurines, and Barb liked board games. "You wanna help?"

"Sure," answered Barb, helping Dash to unpack while Spike and Scootaloo went back downstairs.

"So, what do you think?" asked Spike, gesturing all around. "Pretty nice, right?"

"It's great..." Scootaloo trailed off.

"But?"

"It's nothing. I'm just a little bit overwhelmed by it. It's all just too much at once." She put a claw on his shoulder. "I'll grow to love the house in time, I know. You've had all this time to bond with it; to grow used to the way it looks, to adjust it to your liking, to find things you didn't like and change them... For me, it's... I've never even seen this place. It didn't even exist last time I was here. This was a patch of daisies when I left."

"There are still daisies," smiled Spike. "I preserved a few patches in the backyard." He pulled her into a hug. "Look, I know this isn't the place you've always wanted. As you spend a bit more time here, it'll grow on you, especially as you start to make it work for you."

"I know," sniffed Scootaloo. "Reasonably, I should be happy. I guess I'm just a bit scared, instead."

"Well, you're not alone," assured Spike. "Whatever it is that's scaring you, we'll face it together." He rubbed her back. "What do you want for dinner?"

Chapter the Sixth: Adjusting

Scootaloo had joined the others in unloading the cart while Spike was making dinner. It kept her busy, providing some distraction from her discomfort. She even went to Smolder's new apartment to drop off her stuff before returning home to have dinner with her family.

It had been a long two days, travelling from the dragon lands to Ponyville, and after dinner, Spike put the kids to bed while Scootaloo took care of the dishes. When she was done, she went to the master bedroom and slipped under the covers just as Spike walked in.

"Hey," he smiled. "How are you holding up?"

"I'll manage," sighed Scootaloo. "I never used to feel this way. Back when I was bouncing from place to place in Ponyville, I never had an inkling that the different houses I was staying in were quite as foreign to me. If I was sleeping somewhere I'd never been before, it was just Thursday night. Now... I guess I've had a taste of stability, and this shifting from one place to another is a harder pill to swallow."

Spike nodded and lay down next to her. "Yeah, that's understandable." He placed a claw on her shoulder. "If you're still feeling regret about leaving the dragon lands, we can talk to Twilight tomorrow."

Scootaloo shook her head. "It's just nerves, I'm sure. If I'm still feeling it in a week, I'll ask Twilight about it, but right now, I think I just need to settle in a bit." She took a deep breath, and a few moments later, a tear rolled down her cheek.

Spike wrapped his claws around her shoulders and pulled her into a hug. "It's going to be okay. I promise you, I'm going to make it okay."

Scootaloo sniffled, just breathing for a few minutes. She was here; she was in Ponyville. She had resolved to come back, and she had followed through. She had displayed her bravery by fighting back her fears. And yet, they were still roiling about in her mind.

"Go to sleep," urged Spike, holding her to his chest. "Rest, and all of this will subside. You're going to be fine."

Scootaloo nodded, pressing her forehead against his clavicle. She knew he was right, and she had nothing to worry about. Perhaps she'd feel better when she woke up.

After a long and troubled sleep, Scootaloo awoke to a loud chime that rang twice. It sounded familiar, but she couldn't quite place it.

"I'll go," yawned Spike, rolling out of bed. "Probably the mail, or something..."

Scootaloo nodded and sat up. At the mention of mail, the memory clicked into place. She knew what it was now. She rolled out of bed and checked the time; about a quarter past eight. It was time to wake up, anyway.

She stepped out into the hallway, where Cudgel was peering out of his room. "What was that?!" he shout-whispered.

"Nothing to worry about," assured Scootaloo. "Just a doorbell. It means somepony's come to see us."

Barb's door popped open next. "Like who?"

"We'll have to go downstairs and find out," answered Scootaloo.

As she walked up to Rainbow Slash's door, she noted that it was already open, and Slash wasn't in her room. Immediately, she was stricken with worry, and she rushed downstairs.

"See? There she is," answered Spike. "Come on in."

Scootaloo looked up and saw her aunts coming in. As much as she wanted to stay and chat, she had a priority to tend to. "Have you seen Slash?" she asked.

Spike pointed into the dining room, where Slash was hiding behind the table, her cereal sitting up above her. She'd woken up first and gone downstairs to eat, before the bell had shocked her.

After bringing down the other kids, Scootaloo hugged her aunts, careful to avoid using her claws. "Good to see you both again."

"I'd have made waffles, if you'd asked," said Lofty, hugging back.

"Don't worry about her," smiled Aunt Holiday. "I spent the last week doing that. We'd have been here yesterday if we'd been in town."

"What kept you?"

Lofty pulled her head to the side and brought her hoof up to her shoulder. "Found a dark spot, had to have it checked out. I'm no spring chicken anymore."

Scootaloo shrank down.

"Oh, don't worry, dear," assured Holiday. "It's benign. Totally harmless. Doctor said so himself."

"My GP didn't have the right equipment to check it here," explained Lofty. "We spent yesterday and last night in Canterlot." She looked Scootaloo up and down. "You've grown quite a bit since we last saw you."

"Well, I've sent pictures..." started Scootaloo.

"Pictures, schmictures," interrupted Lofty. "From those images, we could clearly see that you were maybe seven centimetres tall. You know we weren't able to travel as easily through the dragon lands."

"I know, aunty..."

"You'll be happy to hear this, too," smiled aunt Holiday. "Your auntie and I both have come to an agreement; we're big fans of Spike, now."

"We made a few memories in building this place," nodded Lofty. "He's not so bad once you've spent some time with him. I've already apologized for the hurtful things I said to him at the beginning."

The doorbell rang again, and the kids all jumped before being calmed by Scootaloo's claw. She stood up and went to the door, where she was met by Smolder. "Already moved in?"

Smolder nodded. "I had several hours. Just sent Garble home. Thought I'd take a tour of the city, was wondering if you or the kids wanted to join me."

Scootaloo looked back into the dining room. "We're having breakfast right now, but after that, sure, sounds like a great idea."

"If I might make a suggestion," interjected Lofty, "a large group of dragons would draw a lot of attention here in town. Smolder is a common enough sight, but three young dragons wandering around together might be a bit much. Might I suggest that we separate into groups of two and make it a more personalized experience?"

Scootaloo looked around. She was looking forward to spending some time talking to her aunts, as well as some alone time with just Spike, but she also wanted to keep a close eye on her kids after this morning's scare.

After a short pause, she nodded. "Barb, this is my aunt Holiday, aunt Holiday, Barb. That's the first group. Auny Lofty, Rainbow Slash; Rainbow Slash, aunty Lofty. Then Smolder can take Cudgel."

"That just leaves us," noted Spike.

"Indeed it does," smiled Scootaloo.

Chapter The Seventh: Cudgel and Smolder

"So, first impressions?"

Cudgel shrugged. "It seems okay, I guess. I haven't really looked anywhere other than the hoose."

"House."

"Right, that... We haven't really met anyone yet. I barely know anything about the place." He moved a little bit closer to Smolder and grabbed her claw. "What if the reason no one's coming to see us is because they're all unfriendly?"

"This is Ponyville," chuckled Smolder. "Friendliness is their bread and butter. Give them a chance, would you?"

"I guess?" Cudgel shuddered, which Smolder could feel through her claw.

"Tell ya what: let's go see the biggest industry Ponyville had until a few years ago, before becoming a college town. This was the birthplace of an agricultural empire."

Cudgel's eyes brightened. "Really?"

Smolder nodded. "Right this way."

She led him through the streets of Ponyville, pointing out the multiple shops that were showing off their merchandise, at each one asking Cudgel if he could spot a pattern, from the red, green and yellow signs to the zapapple jam to the decorative fruit stands in the open-air market. Not being familiar with it, he didn't quite catch on until they arrived at the entrance to Sweet Apple Acres.

"It's all apples?" he guessed.

"That's right," smiled Smolder.

"Hey, y'all!" called Applejack from a distance, walking closer. "Somethin' Ah can help ya with?"

Cudgel pulled back a bit, hiding behind Smolder.

"I'm showing Cudgel, here, around town. Figured it might be a good idea to introduce him to Apple Bloom. Is she in?"

Applejack nodded. "She's up at the house, tidyin' up, last Ah checked. Head on up."

As Applejack returned to her work, Cudgel kept an eye on her, letting out a small, scared whine as he saw Applejack kick a tree hard enough to shake all the apples out of it. He didn't want to be anywhere near her if that was how she dealt with dragons she didn't like.

After a decently long walk up the path, they came to three buildings; a house, a barn and a silo. A very large red stallion was coming out of the barn, and he just waved.

"That's Big Macintosh," explained Smolder. "You're going to want to stay on his good side. Luckily for you, most of his sides are good ones."

"Is he mean?" cowered Cudgel.

"No, he's very gentle. But he's also very strong. He has the capacity to fight off two dozen regular ponies, but he's far more likely to use that strength to help ponies in need than to cause harm."

Cudgel waved back tentatively, following Smolder into the house. Through the front door, they found themselves in a living room, where Apple Bloom was tidying up, as Applejack had stated. "Howdy, Smolder. Who's this?"

Smolder reached back to push Cudgel forward, but he had rushed over to a cabinet where Big Macintosh kept his Ogres and Oubliettes figurines. "You have Nurakk, Devourer of Thorns?!" he gushed, pressing himself against the glass. "He hasn't even come out in the dragon lands sets yet!"

"A big fan of the role-playing games," smiled Smolder. "That's who he is."

"Interesting," replied Apple Bloom, her deadpan expression making clear her lack of interest. "Was there something y'all needed?"

"Well, I was going to ask if you had any time to spare, but he seems to have taken more of an interest in Big Mac's stuff. This is Scootaloo's oldest."

Apple Bloom immediately brightened back up. "Scootaloo's back?"

"Came in yesterday afternoon. Still settling in."

"Well, Ah should go over there right now!"

Smolder placed her claw on Apple Bloom's shoulder. "She's spending some time with Spike. Give her a bit, okay? Dinner, maybe?"

"Maybe," agreed Apple Bloom, calming down. "Ah'm gonna make a pie!"

"Like a blueberry pie?" joked Smolder.

"Har-dee-har-har," snarked Apple Bloom in return. "Anywho..."

"We came out to let you know, and to see where Ponyville all started."

"Ah see." She turned to Cudgel. "We have pictures, if ya wanna see 'em."

Cudgel was just able to pull himself away from the cabinet and join the other two on the couch as Apple Bloom pulled out the family album. "My granny, rest her soul, was one of the founders a' this here town. It was her ingenuity and bravery that allowed our orchard to sustain itself long enough to turn a profit. In fact, it was her product that made the first trade, opening up businesses that are cornerstones here in town."

For the next two hours, Cudgel looked at the pictures, watching them go from grayscale to sepia to full colour as time went on. It wasn't just pictures, either. Sometimes, there were documents that were no longer valid tucked between the pages to show the state of affairs at that particular moment in time. After going through the whole thing, Apple Bloom treated him to a slice of toast with some zapapple jam on it to give him a taste of the product that had built Ponyville and cemented the Apple Family as a powerful workforce within the agricultural community.

"So now Ah'm the one who makes this stuff, followin' Granny's original recipe. Ain't nopony else but us Apples that know how it's made. Many a pony has tried, and each one fails in some way or another. There's some close ones out there, but they ain't the real thing."

"So we can't buy this stuff except from you?" asked Cudgel, licking the drippings off his claws.

"Well, no, we sell 'em to our distributor, and he sends 'em all over." She chuckled a bit. "He tried to have his daughter take over the business for 'im, and she put her own branding on the jars. Applejack sued the company, an' he settled for a quarter million bits by takin' responsibility for hiring a bad manager. She ain't allowed ta take over the business anymore. He's training somepony else for it now."

"Serves her right," snorted Smolder.

"Yeah, the lost revenue was about two hundred thousand, and we easily could'a pulled in more if we'd gone to court, but Applejack wanted to preserve our relationship with their family. Ah heard Filthy say outright that keeping Sweet Apple Acres as a supplier was more important to Barnyard Bargains than the money his daughter lost 'im. Plus, the new guy's well-aware of what happens when you hurt your suppliers."

Cudgel nodded along. This whole thing had been a welcome lesson in the structure of the town, and had definitely left a good first impression on him. He could not wait for that pie he'd been promised.

Chapter the Eighth: Rainbow Slash and Auntie Lofty

"Come along, dear, we don't have all day..."

Rainbow Slash was trailing quite a distance behind Lofty, almost encouraging the mare to walk backwards for how often she needed to turn around and look behind her.

In truth, Rainbow Slash was afraid of Lofty. Not the same way she had been afraid of the doorbell, where the fear had come from a sudden onset and lack of understanding, but something deeper. It was as though the look on her face was cruel in itself. She didn't know why her parents trusted this mean-looking mare, but something about her just seemed... wrong.

Lofty held out her hoof to Slash. "Come, now. My bark is far worse than my bite," she joked.

Slash approached, but did not take her hoof, merely walking alongside her, a bit more than an arm's length away. Even if her bark was worse, she didn't want to be bitten.

"So, what do you like to do for fun?" asked Lofty, resuming their walk.

Slash just shrugged, teeth chattering too much to answer.

"I've spent a fair bit of my spare time quilting," offered Lofty. "Have you ever done any quilting?"

Slash shook her head.

"I suppose not. Being a dragon, you probably have other ways of staying warm..."

Slash swallowed.

"Are you scared of me, little one?"

Slash nodded.

Lofty sighed. "I'm not as mean as I look. If I was, do you think your mom would allow you to come out with me?"

Slash shrugged silently.

"Do you have so little faith in your mother? Isn't she the one who raised you? Place some trust in your mother. She's had a difficult life. Did you know, for example, that she was born with a disability that made it so that she was unable to fly?"

"But... she can fly," answered Slash, the first words she had actually spoken in Lofty's presence.

"She can, yes," nodded Lofty. "Your father saw to that, unintentional as it may have been. You see, she was born a pegasus, just like me." She flapped her wings as they walked, glad to finally be making progress. "She didn't turn into a dragon until much later. She was even older than you are."

"Really?"

Lofty nodded. "And her parents weren't really around to help her with it. So cut her a bit of slack; she's earned that much."

"Huh..."

They turned and headed into a shop; one that sold clothing and fashion accessories. "Be right with you!" called a voice from the back.

Slash looked around and saw all of the pieces. The store was divided up into three sections, with the largest being pony fashion. Off to one side, there was a collection of yak-centric goods, and on the other side, the setup was all hippogriff. There wasn't really anything befitting a dragon for sale.

After a minute or so, a rather large yak made her way forward. "Sorry about that. How can Yona help you?"

Lofty stepped forward. "I need a new sundress and a shady hat. Doctor's orders. And something for my grandniece, too."

Slash waved shyly.

Yona rubbed her hoof against her chin. "I don't know if we have anything for a dragon of your size, but we can probably throw something together. Would you like a simple sundress like your great aunt? We can have you set up and wearing it out within the hour."

With a bit of trepidation, Slash slowly nodded.

"Let's find your measurements," smiled Yona. "Sweetie Belle?"

A unicorn walked out of the back, shimmying her shoulders as she drummed her hooves to an inaudible beat.

"Sweetie!"

"Hm?" The mare looked up. "Oh, right. How can I help you today?"

"Measurements," answered Yona, ushering Slash forward. "She needs to be fitted fo--"

"Rainbow Slash?!" gasped Sweetie Belle. "Is that you?!"

Slash trembled a bit, slowly nodding silently.

"If you're here, it means Scootaloo's probably here!"

"She is," confirmed Lofty. "We were just over the-- hey!" As Sweetie tried to bolt out the door, Lofty caught her with her wing. "Scootaloo is still sorting things out with Spike, and is probably busy right now. Why don't you wait a few hours, and just pop in for dinner?"

"Punch!"

Slash took several steps back, not wanting to be struck.

"I'll bring punch!" clarified Sweetie Belle.

"In the meantime, can you take her daughter's measurements?" suggested Lofty.

"Oh. Yeah, sure." Sweetie pulled out a measuring tape and started quickly checking Slash's measurements while Yona went to the back to select her fabric colours. "I should probably send a letter to Rarity, too..."

After taking her measurements, Sweetie ushered Slash back into the back room, where Yona was setting up. Using a white light to check that her fabric matched Slash's colour scheme, Yona expertly stacked the swatches and cut them all at once.

"So, how is your mother these days?" asked Sweetie Belle.

Slash shrugged, watching Yona work.

"Does she mention me, ever?"

Slash shrugged again.

"You don't say much, do you?"

"She's new in town," explained Lofty. "Lots of new ponies. She only just met me this morning. Give her some time to adjust, would you?"

"Okay, okay, sorry..." Sweetie folded her front hooves. "I'm just trying to gather some information on the situation."

As promised, Yona worked very quickly, and before the hour was up, she'd sewn together a quick sundress. The top was the same colour as Slash's scales, and the skirt below matched her spines. It was a pleated skirt, as well, meaning it would flow outward as needed. A simple pair of shoulder straps held it up, making it an easy, breezy slip-on, and the ribbon in her straw hat matched her eyes.

Lofty just bought something off the rack, a smooth lavender dress and a floppy straw sun hat to protect her skin. After paying for them both, they left. For the first time since she'd left the house, Rainbow Slash was feeling pretty good, and as they continued through town, she was walking closer and closer to her great aunt.

"Thanks for the dress," she finally said, after having passed a few blocks. "It was very nice of you to buy one for me."

"Oh, it's no trouble," waved Lofty. "You're my grandniece. That's almost a granddaughter. This is something grandparents are supposed to do, so being analogous to that, I may as well."

"Still, thank you for this. It's a lovely dress..."

Chapter the Ninth: Barb and Aunt Holiday

"So, let me go though it one more time, just to make sure it's all accurate in my head. You're my mom's dad's sister's best friend?"

Holiday nodded. "That's pretty close. Close enough for now, anyway."

"How much closer could I be? What'd I say wrong?"

"You didn't say anything wrong, per se; she is my best friend, but she's also more than that."

"Like a sister?"

Holiday shook her head. "We've been together since we were young, and back then, I thought she was like a sister to me, but over time, our love grew, and... well, eventually, we were married."

"So, you're like a husband and wife?"

"Kind of."

"But don't you need a boy to be the husband? I thought you were both girls."

"We are."

Barb gripped her head. "This is confusing!"

"It'll make more sense when you're older," chuckled Holiday. "For now, just know that we're best friends, we sleep in the same bed, and we love each other. That's all this has to be for the purposes of this explanation."

As they turned into Sugarcube corner, Barb looked around. "Wasn't mom talking about this place yesterday with Aunt Dash and that weird guy?"

Holiday shrugged. "I don't know. I wasn't here yesterday. "What was that about a weird guy?"

Barb shrugged. "He was a guy, and he was weird. He kept rubbing his hooves all over Aunt Dash's shoulders and stuff. I think they called him Soarin, or something."

"Ah. Rainbow Dash's coltfriend. Yeah, he's a little strange, but at least he's earnest."

"Earnest? I thought his name was Frank?"

Barb spun around and found herself touching noses with a very, very pink pony with blue eyes. That was all the information she could draw in before suddenly bolting backward and tripping to the floor.

"Surprise!"

Barb took a look at the smiling pony before her. She was indeed very pink, with a fluffy, puffy mane and tail. Her eyes were very large, even by pony standards, and she wore a constant smile.

"Good morning, Pinkie Pie," smiled Holiday. "Meet my grandniece, Barb."

"Meet? I've been seeing pictures of Barb since she was this big!" Pinkie held her hooves close together, mere centimetres apart. "You've really grown in the past month!"

Barb looked back and forth, letting out a nervous chuckle. "Um... Hi? Have we met?"

"Barb, this is Pinkie," introduced Holiday. "She's the premier party-planning pony of Ponyville."

"Are we planning a party?" asked Barb, confused.

"No, I brought you here for pastries."

"But you're not not planning a party, riiiiiight?" urged Pinkie, stretching out her neck and fluttering her eyelashes.

"I guess," shrugged Holiday. "I'd be open to discussion."

"Woo hoo!"

"We can talk about it. In the meantime, can you believe that Barb has never had any kind of doughnut before?"

Holiday knew exactly what would happen the moment she said that. She had intended to, and was still going to, pay for an assorted box of pastries to find out what Barb liked and didn't like, so that she could bring a box whenever she came to visit. She was planning to do the same for the other two and cement herself as the best great aunt ever. The moment Pinkie's gasp was heard, she knew that they would be offered a much bigger box with far less wait time.

In a series of quick zips, Holiday and Barb were picked up, sat down at a table, fitted with long bibs, each given a fork and a butter knife, and presented with a large, tiered tray of baked goods, all within the span of five seconds. Barb had been confused about how two mares could be wed, but this... This blew her mind.

"Well?" asked Pinkie, leaning on the table and raising her eyebrows with a smirk. "Try some!"

Barb had no idea where to start. For a moment, she just sat there, mouth agape and drooling as her eyes darted from one to the next. Even so, if she did have an idea where to start, she had been raised to not just grab stuff; that she should ask for things from an adult, instead. But how could she? She didn't know the names of any of these.

"Here," said Holiday, pulling one from the middle and putting it on Barb's plate. "This is an apple turnover. We grow the best apples in Equestria right here in Ponyville."

Barb started cutting into the apple turnover until she'd taken off a good chunk of it, which she put into her mouth with the fork. Immediately, she began to melt, having never tasted anything so divine before. Dragons were not known for their mastery of phyllo.

After the turnover, she tried all sorts of things. Peach jelly and cream cheese puffs, maple-glazed eclairs, blood orange jelly-filled bismarks, lemon curd tartlets, key lime-topped creme brûlée, coffee cheesecake pops, macadamia and white chocolate biscotti, cranberry scones, churros, and a slice of spiced pear sheet cake. Those were just the ones she could remember the names of.

But there was one in particular that stood out above the others. One confection had achieved perfection; the apotheosis of glucosis, the master sweet that was hard to beat, the dextrose most grandiose.

"Are there any more of those balaclavas?" asked Barb, craning her neck to find one. "Those were really good!"

"No," answered Pinkie, "but I have a ski mask you can borrow!"

"Baklava," corrected Holiday. "What do you think is your favourite part?"

"I don't know," admitted Barb. "It's all great. What's in it?"

"Phyllo, butter, pistachios and honey!" squeaked Pinkie. "Oh, this is great news! I'll be right back!"

As Pinkie dashed off to the kitchen, Holiday pulled out her purse. It was safe to say that Pinkie was already planning a party for later, and when it came time to fund such an event, she would be glad to pay for it, even if Pinkie didn't give anypony a bill. But without any kind of indication of what was going on in Pinkie's head, Holiday at least knew she was going to bring back a box of baklava, which she'd then take home to share with the whole family, so she may as well prepare to pay for it.

Pinkie came back a moment later with three boxes, one of which she dumped the remaining treats into. as soon as she spotted the coin purse, she held up her hoof. "Hold it right there, Aunt Holiday! These are on me!" She loaded the boxes onto her back. "See? Right there on my shoulders. Woo! Let's go!"

Chapter the Tenth: Scootaloo and Spike

Shortly after the kids left with their escorts, Spike placed his claws on Scootaloo's shoulders and began to rub. "You ready to go?"

Scootaloo sighed. On one claw, she did want to go out and see what had changed about Ponyville. She wanted to catch up with her old friends, and find out if they still remembered her. She wanted to find out if anything hadn't changed, and was still the same as when she was a kid.

On the other claw, she was still tired from the move, still had some unpacking to do, and had spent the last few weeks doing everything she could to ensure that her family made the transition properly. She'd barely found any time to relax outside of sleep, and even then, she was plagued with worry.

In the end, Spike was supporting that second claw with his own. His shoulder massage felt nice, and she needed some time to decompress.

"Actually," she moaned, "I'd kind of like to stay in today." She turned and looked up at him. "You and I haven't had any time alone in almost a year. I'd really like to change that."

"Say no more," smiled Spike. Without further warning, he scooped her up out of her chair and curled her up in his arms, to her mild squealing and squirming, which calmed down rather quickly. "Let's go somewhere a little more cozy, shall we?"

Scootaloo wrapped her claws around his neck and her tail around his waist, holding tight to him as he carried her out of the dining room and up the stairs. She didn't let go until he was lowering her onto the bed.

"Let me grab some protection," said Spike, disappearing into the master bathroom. The sound of a lock clicking open was heard, and then out he came with a small rubber sleeve. Unlike their first time using condoms, this one was made for Spike's shape and size, courtesy of Ember.

"Make sure that thing's secure," smirked Scootaloo. "I just came back from the dragon lands; the last thing I want is to be forced to go back."

Spike chuckled and pulled off his shirt. He had, over the past few years, grown accustomed to wearing a shirt and pants given to him by Rarity that made him seem more approachable by anypony that hadn't met him. There was still some stigma against dragons, and having Spike look more pony-like kept newcomers from complaining about having to deal with him when Twilight was busy.

As the enchanted shirt cascaded to the floor, Spike's wings unfurled, stretching across half the room as he pushed them out all the way. He stretched and flexed his arms and chest, both priming himself and showing off to his dragoness. Scootaloo was certainly smitten by his display of his body, running her claws over her own to combat the tingling she felt in her scales. With a soft jingling, Spike's belt came undone, and his pants dropped. He was just barely protruding his tip from his sheathe as he kicked his clothing aside and climbed onto the bed next to Scootaloo.

Scootaloo leaned forward, sniffing at his vent. His pheromones were intoxicating, and as she exhaled, some steam puffed out of her mouth. "Is this..."

"For you?" Spike smiled broadly. "Yes it is. Just for you, and nopony else."

"I was going to ask if the room was fireproof," huffed Scootaloo.

"Oh. Yeah, mostly."

"What does "mostly" mean?"

"Well, if you tried to set it on fire, it'd light, but it's difficult to set it ablaze accidentally."

With a small smirk, Scootaloo blew a small, steady flame across Spike's tip, the flames licking at him, with the tips of her forked tongue occasionally popping out to join them.

After a few moments of that, with Spike now fully exposed and ready, he slipped the rubber over himself, securing it snugly and properly. It was ribbed, but otherwise was a perfect facsimile of Spike's rod, if it were lubricated and painted green.

"Allow me to return the favour," grinned Spike, shifting their positions so that he was down between her legs. Pushing apart the protective scales with his thumbs, he exposed her vent and, pushing his snout into the crease, dug most of his tongue into her pussy. The tip stayed out, letting the salivary glands on the underside of his tongue add a bit more lube, but more importantly, the tines of his tongue wrapped around her clitoris, pulsing regularly.

With both of them warmed up, Spike brought himself forward until he was snout-to-snout with Scootaloo. Their tongues wrapped helically around each other, digging into each other's throats as Spike moved his body into position. He had to compress himself a bit, as Scootaloo was still shorter than he was, but as soon as they were lined up, he pressed himself in.

While they had done this multiple times since they became a couple, it always felt special. While multiple dragons had tried to court Scootaloo while she was living in the dragon lands, citing that she wouldn't need to worry about her children if they had a father figure, she had remained loyal to Spike. She'd even ended up in fights with a few that wouldn't take "go away" for an answer.

Likewise, Spike had been tempted by a few mares, especially from the Crystal Empire, but had always refused. Unlike Scootaloo, he had wanted to lie with them, but refused because the one time it had made it as far as a kiss on the lips, he felt disgusted with himself and put an immediate stop to it. He was a noble dragon, and his decisions would be made by his brain and his heart, not his dick.

In a single press, he was all the way in, and Scootaloo's fiery breath jetted up past his ears around his face. He kept his breath steady for now, acting as her rock as his claws slipped up her arms and wrists, locking into hers. Once their fingers were intertwined, he pulled them back behind her head, bringing a pillow along for the ride. With as long as it had been since last they had done this, he wanted to make sure she didn't injure her neck with the addition of a headboard.

Chapter the Eleventh: An Afternoon Alone

Spike slammed his rock-hard shaft into Scootaloo one last time, letting her clamp down on his knot. The barbed tendrils just below the tip stretched and wriggled, pressing against their rubber cage as Scootaloo's interior milked out the fluid into the reservoir tip.

As soon as she stopped convulsing, she lowered herself onto Spike's chest, panting. "You win again," she gasped. "Best of five?"

Spike looked over at the three tied-off condoms they'd already filled. "I think tied at two and two is good for now," he huffed back. "Let's take a break and rehydrate."

He reached down into the small cooler he had brought up after their second time and pulled out a couple of juice bottles. "What do you want? Pineapple? Grapefruit?"

"Do we have any white grape?"

Spike dug around for a bit until he found one. "Here we are."

They sat there for a moment in silence, simply enjoying each other's embrace as they drank their fruit juices and waited for Spike's knot to shrink. Every so often, Scootaloo would feel him inside her and spasm with pleasure.

"What do you think the kids are up to?" asked Spike, wrapping his claw around her shoulder. "You think they're having fun?"

"I hope so," smiled Scootaloo. As she thought about it, the smile faded away. "Hey, that thing with Aunty Lofty... How long has her health been that way?"

Spike shook his head. "Not that long. She was fine a month ago. And you know, like she said this morning, it's benign. Sure, it's something she has to look out for, but she's pretty tough." He clapped his claw gently against her back. "I have it on good authority that her whole family is pretty durable."

Scootaloo blushed.

"Still, I'm glad she took Twilight's advice and double-checked it. I'd rather know for sure that she's okay than live in ignorance."

"I'm glad she had someone like you to help keep an eye on her."

"And now she has someone like you to keep an eye on her," smiled Spike, booping her snout with his claw. "If I haven't said it yet, I'm glad you're back."

Scootaloo curled up on his chest, listening to his heart beating. "I'm glad to be back."

After a few minutes, she let out a groan, and Spike's knot slipped free of her grip, sliding out smoothly. With practised claws, Spike gripped the tip and slid the rubber sleeve off, tying it deftly in a knot while Scootaloo leaned down and licked him clean.

"Are you still nervous?" asked Spike as she came back up to snuggle with him.

"A bit," answered Scootaloo. "But I am feeling better. You know what I think it is?"

"Tell me."

Scootaloo gestured around. "The place is a little too bare. Doesn't quite have that "lived-in" feel, you know?"

"I know what you mean," nodded Spike. "One of the reasons I didn't do that was because I wanted you to be here for it. I mean, I already decided the layout, the materials, I even decided that we were going to be sharing a bed, when you might have grown used to sleeping on a rock. I know I had trouble sleeping when I changed from a dog bed to a regular bed. I thought you might want to pick what goes on the walls, since you're going to be looking at them." He looked around. "We can even repaint, if you want. We'll just have to wait for a bit before we can do that."

"Why's that?"

Spike cleared his throat, slid out from under her, and walked over to the cardboard box that was currently serving as his wardrobe. He was silent for a moment, then started digging. "I kind of spent all of my pay from the last ten years building this place. Plus some money I took from your aunts that I need to pay back." He pulled out a smaller box and grasped it firmly in his claw. "Holiday told me I don't have to; that the money they spent was for the well-being of you and the kids, and myself as well, eventually. Lofty just said not to worry about it. But it didn't feel right."

"Can't you just leave it alone?" asked Scootaloo. "I mean, they're right. If you spent the money building this place, tending to the garden, setting all of this up without me around to help you out, all so that we could have a nice place to come back to, then they have what they wanted."

Spike shook his head. "It's part of my code of honour. A dragon should be strong enough to, under his own power, provide for his family. Having friends is great, but... I feel like they've done me a huge favour; one which I should repay. Friends are a "you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours," sort of thing, but they've been scratching my back for awhile, and I don't know if I've scratched theirs enough. It feels icky to just take without giving back."

Scootaloo smiled. Spike's selflessness was what drew her to him in the first place. He'd taken some time out of his day just to make her feel better all those years ago, and she'd felt the same way about stealing his wings, something she hadn't actually done. "You'll manage, Spike. They're practically your family, now."

"That makes it even worse," answered Spike. "Disrespecting your family like that is a terrible thing to do. And yet, I have taken their help without returning the favour. I have only five gemstones remaining."

"Why don't you give them those?" suggested Scootaloo. "It's a start, at least."

Spike shook his head as he brought the box to her and kneeled down next to the bed. "Because I saved them, so I could give them to you."

Spike opened the box and pushed it forward. Inside was a silver ring. On the face of the ring, two semicircular gems, one tourmaline and the other amethyst sat on either side of three smaller squares, one tourmaline, one amethyst, and in the middle, a garnet. The symbolism was not lost on Scootaloo. The large semicircular gemstones were meant to be herself and Spike, matching their colours perfectly. Between them, each square was one of their kids, embraced between them.

"Scootaloo, I don't want to lose you again," said Spike. "You don't have to answer now, but I want to know if you'd consid--"

He was cut off as Scootaloo tackled him, knocking him to the floor and kissing him as deeply as she could. "Yes," she breathed. "Of course I'll marry you! You even have to ask?!"

Chapter the Twelfth: An Unexpected Dinner Party

When everyone left that Morning, Spike and Scootaloo expected they'd be back by the afternoon. Instead, the first one to arrive at their house was Pinkie Pie and her three boxes of sweets; one leftover, one sampler with two of everything, and one baklava. She immediately went into party planning, but with some urging from Spike, downgraded to something simpler; a private dinner party with very few guests. It was meant as a way to welcome them back without overwhelming them. Pinkie eventually agreed, but with the caveat that there would absolutely be a block party not too far into the future with the same theme, specifically to introduce them all to the neighbors.

As Pinkie moved into the kitchen to start preparing for a smaller dinner party, Sweetie Belle arrived, tackling Scootaloo against the wall with a big hug before alerting them to the cooler she'd brought, with punch. It was strawberry kiwi, with orange sorbet on top in little scoops. Pinkie quickly whisked that away as Lofty and Slash came in with their dresses.

Next was Apple Bloom, Cudgel and Smolder. Apple Bloom and Smolder carried pies, and Apple Bloom came forward to give a less excited but every bit as caring hug. Cudgel was carrying a new plastic figurine of Kin'nrath, Dreadbeast of the Desolate Sands, a gift from Big Macintosh after they bonded over their separate adventures, both of which were penned by Spike himself.

Holiday and Barb were the last to arrive, having gone for a long walk through a nearby park. It would have been a quicker walk, but Barb kept stopping to look at and smell the flowers. There weren't a lot of flowers in the dragon lands. She'd even picked a few wild ones for her mother.

It wasn't long before everyone was sitting down to dinner, except Pinkie Pie, who was rushing through the kitchen to make sure everything went smoothly.

"Why didn't ya tell us y'all were back?" asked Apple Bloom through a mouthful of nachos. "We'd a' been here yesterday mornin' if we'd a' knew."

"We weren't here until the afternoon," answered Scootaloo. "We were still moving in. We are still moving in. Not quite finished putting everything away. I wanted the house to be spotless before inviting anypony to come see us."

Sweetie waved her hoof. "Oh, come on, darling, your best friends don't care if the house is a little messy. In fact, we'd even help you clean it up. What kind of ruffians do you think we are?"

Scootaloo snorted. "You're starting to sound a lot like Rarity."

"Oh, forgive me," huffed Sweetie. "Here and I thought she was my sister and role model."

"Ya sure are talkin' like 'er, though," noted Apple Bloom.

"And you talk like Applejack does," snarked Sweetie.

"Whoa, whoa, guys, let's not fight..."

"Whatever you say, "Rainbow,"" they said in unison before giggling.

"What?" Rainbow Slash looked up toward them, not sure why they had called for her. "What's happening?"

"Nothing, dear," smirked Spike. "They were talking about your aunt. Go back to your food."

"You still could have come out to see us this morning," offered Sweetie Belle. "Twilight's out of town right now, so Spike has the free time."

"Well, I took that into account," countered Scootaloo. "I wanted to spend some time with him before he had to go back to work."

Apple Bloom smiled slowly; a lecherous grin. "Oh... You wanted to spend some "alone" time with him."

Scootaloo blushed. "Well, no, but yeah."

Sweetie looked around for a bit, confused, before it dawned on her. "I see..."

"And on that note, we have some news," smiled Scootaloo.

"Three more?!" gasped Pinkie Pie from the kitchen doorframe.

Apple Bloom scowled. "Y'all just came back! Now you're leaving fer another ten years?!"

"What?" said Scootaloo. "No! I'm not leaving again!" She pushed her claw forward. "We've just been engaged!"

Everypony's jaws hit the floor as Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom inspected the ring. Meanwhile, Lofty and Holiday were looking at Spike.

"Is this that ring you were arguing with the jeweler about?" asked Lofty. "The one that he tried to talk you out of because it wouldn't make a good engagement ring?"

"Yeah," said Apple Bloom. "Aren't engagement rings s'posed to have diamonds or somethin'?"

"This one's way better than a silly old diamond," gushed Scootaloo. "Look, that big one is me, that one there is Spike, and these three in the middle are the kids."

"Really?" Cudgel climbed up on top of the table to try to see it better. "Which one's me?"

"Why are there jewels in the ring?" asked Barb. "Aren't they supposed to be for eating?"

Scootaloo closed her claw and held the ring against her chest. "This ring represents a lot to me. The very family we made together is now brought back in this ring. I don't want to lose this ring, ever, because what matters most to me is right there on the back of my claw."

"Way better than some diamond," agreed Lofty. "That jeweler didn't know what he was talking about."

Holiday chuckled. "Our wedding bands were made of braided silver. No stones, just a series of interwoven bands, stronger together than any could ever be apart."

Lofty took her hoof and gripped it tight. "They were twisted, too. If you looked at them from the side, they would resemble tears. But if you put them together, it would form a heart."

It was only then that Scootaloo saw Pinkie Pie shuddering. "Pinkie? You okay?"

Pinkie composed herself, then pulled a clipboard out from who-knows-where, along with a novelty oversized pen. Lacking a pair of normal reading glasses, she pulled out of her mane a rather large full-face mask, complete with moustache nose filter, party horn so other ponies could hear where she was, and a banana nose because... well, she thought it was funny. Also, it could act as a snorkel in poolside reading emergencies. "Welcome to Ponyville party. Engagement party. Bachelor party. Bachelorette party; probably the same night. Bridal shower. Wedding. Reception." She looked at Spike and Scootaloo "Birthday parties?"

"We just had them," answered Scootaloo. "A couple days ago."

"Wait, birthday parties are a real thing?" asked Rainbow Slash. "Those are normal? I thought it was something my mom made up."

Pinkie tucked the clipboard and pen behind her back; an amazing feat, considering the size of the pen. "Party planning is a serious business, and I take it very seriously." She bopped the banana on her nose, and it swirled around a bit as she blew the party horn.

Chapter the Thirteenth: Morning in Ponyville

Scootaloo pulled the waffle from the press and tossed it onto the plate just as the doorbell rang. Not knowing who it could be at this hour, she unplugged the press, in case this took too long.

When she came to the door, she was met by Gridline, one of Cudgel's new friends. "Hi, miss Scootaloo. Can Cudgel come out to play?"

Scootaloo shook her head. "He's not up yet. Even if he was, he hasn't had breakfast yet." She squatted down and placed her claws on her knees. "Would you like some waffles?"

"No thanks, I ate at home."

"I see." She stood back up. "Well, you can wait in the dining room. I'll go wake him up so he can have breakfast, and then you can go play."

She went upstairs and knocked on every door but her own. Spike had left an hour ago to tend to Twilight, so there was no need. Once she'd received a response from them all, she went back to the kitchen and resumed making waffles.

A week and a half had passed since they had all come back to Ponyville. The day after the dinner party, Pinkie had announced the block party, and the day after, they'd all attended, though Spike was back at Twilight's side by then. Still, with Twilight being in attendance, the kids were able to meet a princess that wasn't Ember, and more importantly, other kids that lived nearby.

That was a real boon, as they'd all stopped moping around as soon as they had friends to hang out with. Cudgel had found a group to play Ogres and Oubliettes with, Rainbow Slash had found somepony who was good at carnival games and won her a giant stuffed badger, and Barb had fallen in with a board games club.

Scootaloo had met their neighbors, too, and some of them were visibly concerned at the fact that she was a dragon. Granted, they'd been living next to Spike for awhile, but one dragon that was known for being friendly was different than the other four who were less well-known.

One of them that was particularly fine with his neighbors being a family of dragons was a familiar face: Rumble. He'd been a few years younger than Scootaloo, but now he was all grown up and splitting a house with two other ponies. He'd even offered to help her find work when the kids started school again. Since he worked in the post office, and sometimes the weather team when necessary, he had an in with both places, and could put in a good word for her.

Had she remained a pony, she could only be a part of the postal service, as she could scoot around with her malformed wings, but as a dragon... Rainbow Dash started her career as a weather pony, and was now a headliner in the Wonderbolts and one of the harbingers of harmony. Working up in the clouds would be wonderful.

Still, for now, she needed to be able to stay home and watch the kids, so she had thanked him for his offer and said she would take him up on it later.

Cudgel rushed through his breakfast and ran out the front door with Gridline. Barb left shortly after, but stayed within view of the dining room, as the park in which her board games club was meeting was cata-cornered to the house. Only Rainbow Slash stayed, as her friend had come over just as Barb was leaving. The two of them would spend the next few hours in Slash's room, playing with their stuffed animals and chattering.

Scootaloo sat down on the couch with a book, and made it a few pages before the doorbell chimed again, and she moved to the door to answer it. "Apple Bloom. Good to see you."

"Glad ta see you, too," answered Apple Bloom. "The kids around?"

"Slash is upstairs, but otherwise, no."

"Good." She walked in and sat down on the couch. "Because Pinkie sent me over to plan out your bachelorette party."

Scootaloo sighed. "We're not having the wedding for another month. Plus, I'm not sure how I feel about having a bachelorette party."

"That's just stinkin' thinkin'," waved Apple Bloom. "Bachelorette parties are great. The whole point is to enjoy one last freedom before you're hitched to the same pony for the rest a' yer life."

Scootaloo scrunched up her nose. "Yeah, that's what I mean. It's kind of bleak, isn't it? Like, if I marry Spike, my freedoms are all going to disappear; that being bound to the dragon I fell in love with is going to cage us together and lock us in place."

"Well..." Apple Bloom sighed. "When ya put it like that, Ah guess it does sound kinda rough." She shook her head. "Forget the prospect of being stuck to Spike forever. He's great, we can all agree on that. Just remember what Pinkie says: Parties are for havin' fun with yer friends. We'll just have this be the last all-girl party before the wedding."

"That's better," nodded Scootaloo, "but I'm still on the fence about having a party like this."

"Girl, Ah painted a lotta fences in my day. And somethin' Ah know you ain't never done was paint a stallion's fencepost. This kinda thing is expected of bachelorette parties. Ah guarantee Spike will understand."

Scootaloo took a deep breath, then shook her head. "No. I don't like it. And I especially don't want to end up pregnant again, or turning back into a flightless pegasus. I'm perfectly happy to spend the rest of my life with Spike. If we're dead set on having a bachelorette party, we need to find something else to do."

Apple Bloom sighed. "Okay, fine. What were you thinking?"

"I was thinking we could skip it and go right to the bridal shower..." Scootaloo tossed her head back and spat a small, harmless tuft of flame from her nostrils. "If I've learned anything since coming back to Ponyville, it's that I'm terrible at parties. My own kids have detailed out for me how awkward their birthdays have been, and seeing Pinkie's block party welcoming us back held up a mirror to my inadequacy." She leaned forward. "I'll probably go along with whatever she suggests, but... No strippers, no hookers, no mentioning anything that even suggests that marriage is a bad idea. Otherwise, I'm open to suggestions."

Chapter the Fourteenth: Life in Equestria

"Now, Twilight, I think it's great that you want the flagship at the front of the fleet where everypony can follow its lead, but I think that's maybe exposing it a little too much."

"What are you talking about, Thorax? Having the ship out front gives the head of the fleet all of the information on the enemy it's intercepting. The commander of the fleet needs that information as soon as possible!"

"Yes, but that's what a comms officer is for. Keeping the commander at the rear means he can see everything that his team is doing, without the need to have multiple comms teams to relay that information back, sometimes stepping over each other. He can more easily issue vital orders forward without having to turn around."

"Or she," corrected Twilight, "and it's easier for the crew to hear those orders when their forward-facing ears are pointed in the same direction as the captain."

Thorax narrowed his eyes as he leaned forward. "Alpha six," he growled.

"Hit," answered Spike, putting a red peg on Twilight's aircraft carrier.

"Bravo six!"

"Hit."

"Charlie six!"

"Hit."

"Delta six!"

"Hit."

"Echo six."

"Hit and sink."

Thorax leaned back. "Now, where is your destroyer?"

Spike sighed. They had played Battleship so often that they'd made up their own rules, and had accused each other of cheating time after time. Spike's job now was to moderate their game and make sure that their decisions did not violate any of their made-up rules.

"Spike, I'd like to move my Destroyer," announced Twilight.

"It's not your turn," announced Spike. "Thorax's turn ended with a hit, which gives him another turn."

Thorax brought his hoof up to his chin. "If moving your ship is what you're trying to do... India two."

"Hit."

Twilight lowered her head into her hooves.

"Juliet two."

"Hit, sink and match."

"Well done," offered Twilight, pushing her hoof forward.

"And to you as well," Thorax answered, pulling her hoof toward him and kissing it. "Best of seventy-one?"

There was a knock at the door, and Spike stood up, wobbling a bit, as he'd been sitting all day. As he opened the door, he issued his canned response. "Apologies, but Princess Twilight and King Thorax are currently engaged in an accurate representation of a naval battle simulation to help tune the adequacy of the Equestrian Royal Navy and the allied Changeling Royal Navy. Please come back during public audience hours."

"Looks like they're just playing Battleship," snorted Pinkie, bouncing in. "Yesterday, they were bouncing on the bed!"

Both Twilight and Thorax blushed and looked away, covering the back of their necks with their hooves.

"Uh huh," sighed Spike. "Now's not the time to bother them, Pinkie."

"That's fine," said Pinikie. I wasn't going to bother them, anyway. I was going to bother you!" She grabbed Spike by the elbow and tugged him toward the door. "Twilight, I'm borrowing your assistant for a few minutes!"

"Take your time," answered Twilight.

"I'm inclined to ask why," inquired Thorax.

"We have to plan his bachelor party!" answered Pinkie.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" interjected Thorax. "As Spike's best bug, not only is it my responsibility to plan out the bachelor party, but also to deliver the first speech. How else am I supposed to earn my place right by his side during the wedding?"

Twilight turned to Thorax. "Wait, he asked you to be his best bug?"

"Please don't take it personally, Twilight," begged Spike. "I can only choose one. I can't make you, Shining, Thorax and Big Macintosh the best mare, stallions and bug all at once. You're wonderful, but I couldn't decide between you, and I just happened to see Thorax first."

"You can help plan the party and write the speech," offered Thorax, wrapping his hoof around Twilight's shoulders. "We can still do it together."

Pinkie sat down. "Right then. Now that the party planning committee is all here, let's begin."

"First things first," proclaimed Thorax, "let's talk venue. There're some really great new spots back at the hive; they're a little experimental, but--"

"Oh, no," waved Twilight. "You're talking about the one you told your brother about last month?"

Thorax's face turned red. "I thought you were asleep."

Twilight shook her head. "You're not taking him there. He may be more mature than most dragons his age, but he's marrying Scootaloo, not a changeling that looks like Scootaloo. We'll be having the party here in the castle, and we have to protect the image of the castle as a place that is dignified."

"My changelings are very practised at their craft. They can arrive looking like dignitaries and turn into six different Scootaloos when they're inside."

"I said no."

"Well, fine, then. I'll take him to the hive, and we'll make our own party! With Blackjack! And hookers!"

"Can't we just... not?" asked Spike.

"See?" glared Twilight. "Spike doesn't want anything to do with your gambling."

"Blackjack isn't gambling," waved Thorax. "It's a game of skill and strategy. Roulette is gambling. Slots are gambling. Blackjack is not gambling."

"It's also not the problem," sighed Spike. "Just... No hookers, and don't downgrade it to strippers, either. Please, keep it tame..."

"Huh," huffed Pinkie. "You know, that's just what Scootaloo said yesterday."

"Really?"

"Yeah. She also said not to ever mention that this is the last party she'll ever be allowed to attend without Spike being invited along with her, and also not to mention that she's never going to be allowed to mount a stallion again."

Spike swallowed. He wasn't sure why she would stipulate any of that, but the fact that she had unnerved him. That she had even thought about it being a trap at all made him question whether or not it was a good idea to go through with this.

"How about Apploosa Hold-em?" offered Thorax. "That's a game that takes a lot of strategy and skill."

"Oh, yeah?" challenged Twilight. "Prove it."

"Gladly. Spike?"

Spike looked up, sweating. "What?"

"Apploosa Hold-em," repeated Thorax, sliding him a deck of cards.

"Oh. Right."

"Deal me in, too," said Pinkie, sliding around the table. "Minimum bet, two peppermints." She dumped a small bucket of peppermint candies on the table, dividing them up between the players, including Spike.

Thorax pushed one candy forward as the small blind. "Twily, you have to put two candies forward before Spike can deal. That's how the blind bets work."

"Uh huh..."

Chapter the Fifteenth: Fire Suppression

Spike and Scootaloo didn't talk about their respective parties for a few days after they were planned out. They didn't want to spend what little time they had together those days arguing, and opted to wait for the weekend to discuss it more openly with a less restrictive timeframe.

"So, has Pinkie contacted you about your bachelorette party?" asked Spike, pulling back the covers. He already knew she had, as what would be going on at Scootaloo's party was openly discussed at his own meetings.

"She has," answered Scootaloo. "Did she talk to you about it?"

Spike nodded. Both dragons slipped into bed and clasped each others' claws. Spike, in particular, wrapped his around Scootaloo's waist, hugging her as he took a deep breath. "Do you feel... trapped by me?"

Scootaloo pressed the back of her head against his neck. "What do you mean?"

Spike's grip tightened for a moment, then relaxed. "Pinkie Pie told me you didn't want to be reminded that marriage was a cage that kept you locked to me."

"And I don't," answered Scootaloo. "I don't want to be made to feel like my social life is ending because we're going to be married."

"Does that mean you do feel that way?"

Scootaloo turned around and looked into Spike's eyes. "Spike, if I want to go out to a bar with my friends, are you going to tell me I can't; that I have to stay home and watch the kids?"

"Well..." Spike hesitated. "I can think of a few scenarios where I would, but I don't think you'd be that irresponsible."

"Like what?"

"If Barb is sick with rotscale, or if you can't find a babysitter, or if it's early in the morning and you still have to prepare their lunches and send them off to school."

Scootaloo's jaw dropped. "You have that little faith in me?"

"No! No, I think you'd be a great mom! It's just, I don't think you'd go out to drink without ensuring that the kids are taken care of, first. If everything's taken care of, of course you can go out and have a good time! I won't stand in your way unless it's important."

Scootaloo pressed herself against Spike. "I would never do anything to harm our kids. And Barb was vaccinated for rotscale; they all were."

"Good."

"I wasn't, though. They said I was too old, and that I'd end up worse for wear if they gave it to me."

"Yeah, I'm also not," replied Spike. "Same reason. Twilight meant well, but didn't know any better. Big risks over age three, and I was five when she found out."

"Well, I was fourteen," chuckled Scootaloo. "That's the way it goes, I suppose... So, what's the plan for your bachelor party?"

"Oh, nothing much," shrugged Spike. "Pinkie's having a string quartet come to the castle, and a bunch of casino tables. Oh, and an open bar. What about you?"

"Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle are taking me bar hopping in a stretch carriage, and that's all I know. While I was able to convince them not to hire a stripper, I was unable to convince them not to do water pistols shaped like dicks. Pinkie apparently has a modified Super Soaker that she wants to use, and she already waterproofed the carriage."

"So you're not... You're not bringing any stallions to yours?"

"No, but... I don't mind if you have mares at yours. I know how boys can be."

Spike shook his head. "Thorax offered to bring in changelings so I could have six of you while you were out with the girls, but... It didn't feel right."

"Really?"

Spike leaned down and kissed her. "The only dragoness I want is you. Why would I want the fantasy version when the real one is right here in my bed?"

Scootaloo blushed, pressing her forehead against his chest. "I still wouldn't mind," she smiled. "It's the bachelor party. Things like this happen. Just as long as you don't bring back any diseases or fertilize another clutch of eggs."

"I wouldn't be fine with it," answered Spike. "I kissed a mare and felt bad about it. Sleeping with one would ruin me. But I won't deny you the experience of having a stallion, so long as you come back to me at the end of every day. I don't want to be what stands in the way of your happiness."

Scootaloo shrugged. "I guess that's it, then. No hookers for either of us."

"No strippers, either," nodded Spike. He paused for a moment, and then added, "It's possible that Thorax might bring one, anyway. He was pretty adamant about it. Said it wouldn't be a real bachelor party without the guest of honour having his dick milked, but I think I'm still allowed to refuse."

Scootaloo had to stop herself from bursting out in laughter. "Were those his exact words?"

"Yeah. He can be a bit vulgar at times."

"I'm bet he's glad Twilight wasn't around to hear him."

"Oh, she was. They were sitting right next to each other."

Scootaloo's jaw dropped as she looked up at him. "You're joking..."

"No, ever since they started sleeping together they've--"

"They're having sex?!"

Spike fell silent for a moment, then brought a claw to her lips. "That's supposed to be a secret..."

"Oh..." Scootaloo made a motion like she was zipping her mouth closed. "I won't tell anypony, I swear."

"Thanks," sighed Spike. "They want to keep it quiet, just spoken of in rumours with no outright confirmation for the public until they're ready to announce it, which they don't want to do until they're sure how the population will react. Since there's a species barrier, there's still a lot of stigma around these kinds of relationships, which would burn for us, as well, if you still looked like a pony. While I don't have a preference for what you look like, I don't want ponies harassing us or the kids for this."

"Me, neither," chuckled Scootaloo.

For a few minutes, they lay in silence, each content in the knowledge that the other one was in this relationship for the long haul. What they wanted was to remain with each other, and that was very encouraging to the other side. Still, one question burned in Scootaloo's mind, and she had to ask.

"Who do you think Thorax turns into when they're in bed?"

Chapter the Seventeenth: The Bachelor Party

Spike had a bit more warning that his bachelor party would be today than Scootaloo did. Rather than popping in and dragging him out of his house, he was unceremoniously roped into carrying in tables for his own party. That is to say, Twilight had ordered some lab equipment to arrive on the same day, and Spike was sent to carry that in, but it was the wrong delivery. Still, he knew how to pretend to be shocked when the party began.

Pinkie had considered, being that she would be out of town at Scootaloo's party, having Cheese Sandwich come handle Spike's event, but Thorax had insisted that, as the best bug, he would make sure everything would go perfectly. What was the point of having a best bug if he wasn't going to do anything important? So, for his sake, and for the fact that the party was already planned out, she agreed.

After setting up, including hanging a banner that said "Congratulations, Spike!" he returned to Twilight's side. Thorax had yet to arrive, so they couldn't start without their overseer. Twilight still had some other duties to perform, and Spike was still her number one assistant. The lab equipment did arrive soon, and Spike was once again sent to help carry it to where it needed to go and set it up so that it was ready to use.

Two hours went by before Thorax showed up, but it still wasn't time for the party. Thorax wasn't doing a good job of hiding his smile or excitement, which was odd. Spike would have thought that a changeling would have a better poker face, but he couldn't stop smiling. Plus, he'd brought Pharynx and a few other changelings along, and one of them right out of the carriage asked Spike to direct them to the kitchens so that the ice cream cake didn't melt.

After a very light dinner that Twilight insisted on, again, not being very subtle, they had a guard come in and say there was something going on in the ballroom, and that Spike should come immediately. What was already very obvious was made even more telling when everyone stood up and followed Spike down to the ball room.

"Surprise!" shouted a few dozen ponies as Spike pushed open the doors.

Spike immediately rocked back onto his tail, gasping as he brought his claws up to his cheeks. "Oh, my goodness! I had no idea!"

Twilight hung her head for a few seconds. She had known Spike long enough to know that he was lying, but on some level, she appreciated that he was trying to spare their feelings. Thorax and Pharynx could feel it, too, as they tried to share in his shock, but found it to be lacking. Still, there was joy to be had.

Spike walked into the center of the room. He figured the first thing he should do was greet his guests. He knew all of them, sure, and had good relations with them, but they weren't exactly his best friends. The Cakes, for example, he liked a lot. He'd spent a fair bit of time talking to them, and had even helped file the paperwork when they needed to expand Sugarcube Corner. They were great ponies and he held them both in high regard. But he wasn't going out of his way to visit them on an average day.

"Hey, Spike," greeted Waddles. "Happy birthday."

"I knew you could graduate from college," congratulated Berry Punch.

"Your first marathon complete," smiled Raspberry Delight. "I always believed in you."

Perhaps a third of these ponies had forgotten why they were here. Then again, Waddles was ninety-six years old, Berry Punch had likely been drinking earlier in the evening, and Raspberry Delight was forgetful at the best of times. And Discord probably gave the wrong reason on purpose.

"Well done, Spike! I thought that tapeworm would be there for the next decade or so, but you certainly proved me wrong!"

"Congrats on your marriage, Spike," said Fluttershy, pushing Discord out of the way. "He knows why we're here, he just wants to make a scene. He's been going around telling everypony about different things that this party could be about. He told Big Macintosh that this was to celebrate your first successful colonoscopy."

"Eeyup," confirmed Big Mac.

"Well, pardon me for thinking Spike would want to be congratulated not just for this, but for all of the many things he's done, and the marvelous things he will do in the future," huffed Discord, turning up his nose and folding his arms.

"I've never had a tapeworm," scowled Spike.

"Did you want one?" asked Discord, holding up a tape dispenser. "It's often a trick reserved for children's birthday parties, but I'll make an exception for you, just this once."

"I'm fine," declined Spike.

"Suit yourself," shrugged Discord. "Or better yet, I should suit you!"

Discord pulled out a black paintbrush and splattered a black goo all over Spike's chest.

"Oop! Excuse me. Let me clean that up for you." Wiping it down with a lint roller, the goo morphed itself into a black and white tuxedo. "There."

Spike looked himself up and down. It was actually a fairly nice suit.

Fluttershy cleared her throat as she glared at Discord.

"What?"

Fluttershy grabbed a piece of paper that was taped to the back of Spike's suit, and pulled it forward.

"Ask me about my cats," read Spike.

"What?" asked Discord again. "It encourages other ponies to talk to him."

"I don't own any cats," sighed Spike.

"You don't have a tapeworm, either," smiled Discord, offering his tape dispenser once more. From it sprouted a bunch of tape, coiled up tightly to resemble an earthworm. "Sounds like you're zero for two."

"Discord, be nice," urged Fluttershy.

"Oh, fine..."

Spike greeted everyone else in turn, and Fluttershy made Discord apologize to Spike and to the ponies he'd misled every time somepony congratulated Spike for something that wasn't being celebrated, from a successful sex change to buying a boat to conquering Yakyakistan with a single breath that lasted four days, to having the biggest testicles in the whole of the dragon lands. That last one, Spike would have left as a rumour, but Discord corrected the statement anyway, detailing their size and shape with a very odd and precise level of accuracy and detail; something Mrs. Cake could have gone her entire evening without knowing.

With all of the greetings and apologies out of the way, Discord spun around, and was dressed in a bright orange and purple zoot suit, with a hat to match. "Now, then, what are we waiting for? Let's play some games, already!"

"Eeyup."

Chapter the Eighteenth: Tomahawk

Two tomahawks thunked hard into the wooden targets, embedding themselves a good few centimetres through. The third one rang loudly as it bounced off the back wall and was silenced as it came to rest on the floor.

"Edge alignment, Sweetie Belle!" called Apple Bloom from behind the chain-link fence. "Ya have ta keep the edge lined up proper; like choppin' down a cedar tree!"

"I don't cut down a lot of trees, Apple Bloom," snorted Sweetie Belle as she, Rainbow and Scootaloo collected their axes.

"Neither do I," admitted Scootaloo. "But I have spent a few months learning how to throw knives."

"Why in Equestria would you want a skill like that?" scoffed Rarity, having lost herself in her tequila sunset. After another sip, she remembered that she was supposed to be nice, and added, "I bet it would be a spectacular act."

"Oh, we offer knives," offered the attendant. "After this round, if you want to show them your skill, we can organize that for you."

"Count on it," smiled Rainbow. "Scoots has this in the bag!"

"Alright, last throw!" bounced Pinkie. "Let's go!"

Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo nodded, and after clinking the butts of their axes together, pulled themselves to the ready position. Once Sweetie Belle was in position, the attendant counted down, and they threw once more.

This time, it was Rainbow and Sweetie Belle that stuck in the wood. Rainbow had scored three points, just outside of the center ring, and Sweetie had only just wedged her toe over the line. Normally, that wouldn't count as a point, but it was the first time she'd actually made her axe stick into the target, and was standing in last place with zero points. Even Rarity had scored three. It was a stick, so out of pity, she was awarded a single point.

It was Scootaloo's axe that brought the most attention, though. While it had not stuck, there was a very good reason for that. When it had wedged itself into the board, it had pushed enough wood out of the way that the remaining connections had snapped, and where her axe had connected, a large chunk with dozens of splinters rained down to the ground below, and with nothing holding up that side of the axe, it slipped right out of the hole it had made and clattered to the ground.

"That was right in the center," noted the attendant. "That'd have been five points if it hadn't collapsed." She went to pick up the ruined target to haul it out, but as she passed, she offered the chunk of shattered wood to Scootaloo. "Souvenir?"

Scootaloo accepted it, looking it over.

"Awesome job, Squirt," smiled Rainbow, wrapping a hoof around her shoulders. "Something to take with you to remember the night!"

"You think so?" asked Scootaloo. "I mean, you won that round."

"I win all kinds of stuff," waved Rainbow. "I hate losing, but you heard her; If you'd have landed that last hit, you'd have won by two points. But here's the thing." She tapped the piece of wood with her hoof. "I may have won, but you're going to be the one who walks out of here with a trophy."

Soon, the attendant came back with a brand new, untouched target. As swinging an axe into a piece of wood would always result in damage to the wood, having extra targets to replace them was always a good idea. And since they were made from pallet wood, something department stores would often throw out, they were easy enough to come by. Just pry out the nails and put them in different spots, and as long as the wood didn't split, it would hold up for quite some time.

"Alright, who's ready to see some knife-throwing?" asked Scootaloo, downing the remains of her old fashioned.

With cheers from the party, the attendant brought out a display of five flat knives with smooth wooden handles. "Here we are. Let's see what you've learned."

Scootaloo grabbed the first knife by the handle and twirled it in her claw until she was holding it by the tip, then tossed it into the air and caught it by the handle. "These are lighter than the ones we had in the dragon lands. I may not be quite as accurate as I claimed."

"Try anyway," urged Rainbow.

With a shrug, Scootaloo spun the knife in her claw until it was right where she wanted it, lined it up with the new target, and flung it as precisely as she could. It stuck in the center, but her rotation was off by just under a quarter turn, meaning the handle was almost touching the target, and the tip was sticking out, while most of the blade edge was embedded.

The second toss went better; still off a bit, but closer. It was the third one that finally found its way and went straight in.

It was about this time that a stallion that had been watching them, as this room was still open to the rest of the bar patrons, came over to the group. He and a few of his buddies had come in awhile ago and played a round, but the other two had left a few minutes ago.

"Hey there," he said, wrapping his hoof around Sweetie Belle. "You look like you could use some company."

"I have company, thanks," answered Sweetie, removing his hoof, which he put right back. She pushed it away again, but he persisted.

"Oy!" called Scootaloo, drawing his attention. "Watch this."

She tossed the fourth knife down the way, and embedded the tip into the handle of the third knife. She then held up the final knife by the blade, displaying the smooth, sleek handle.

"I know that was a bigger target that what's swingin' down between your thighs, but I bet I can hit it at fifty paces, anyway. You wanna see me try, or do you want to keep those hooves to yourself?"

He just snickered. "I don't take orders from wee dragons. You can't fight me, I'm an Equestrian citizen!"

"Then allow me!" shouted Rarity, slapping him hard across the face. "Keep your hooves off of my sister!"

He stood up to show he was taller and more muscular than Rarity, then grabbed her by the wrist. That's when Rainbow stepped in. "Hooves to yourself!" she shouted, bucking him hard in the gut.

"Don't forget your facepaint!" twittered Pinkie, slapping him with a sponge, leaving his face covered in clown makeup.

As he stumbled backward, Apple Bloom ducked under his hooves, and he tripped over her, landing flat on his back, out cold.

"I think it's time for a change of scenery," said Scootaloo.

"Alright everypony," called Rainbow. "Finish your glasses and back to the carriage!"

Scootaloo nodded, flipping the knife around in her claws, and then launching it at the wall target, embedding it in the center of the wood. "Twenty-five points!"

Chapter the Nineteenth: Poker

"Three of a kind!" Discord shouted, laying his cards out on the table. Seven and six of clubs, queens of diamonds and spades, and the king of hearts.

"Sir," sighed the dealer, "that's only a pair of queens. The other face card is a king."

"How dare you!" shouted the king suddenly. "I didn't choose to be this way, I was printed this way! I am not a king, but a queen!"

Discord folded his arms. "And here I thought this was a nice place. I didn't realize that my dealer was transphobic!"

Not wanting to cause a scene, the dealer pushed the pile of chips toward Discord.

"Hey, that's not fair!" shouted Licorice Snap, who legit had three of a kind. "I had three sevens!"

"How dare you!" shouted the seven. "I'll have you know that I've never eaten a nine in my life! I'm a one, I was just leaning to one side. Or does that confuse you?"

Licorice pushed his cards forward, completely ignoring the fact that "one" does not exist in a standard deck of playing cards.

That's when Fluttershy stepped in, pushing the chips right back toward Licorice. She turned to Discord and scowled. "This is the second time I've caught you cheating. First, you try to pull five aces, and now this? Do I need to take you back home for the rest of the night?"

"Oh, lighten up," chuckled Discord. "These chips are worthless, anyway. It's not like I can cash these out for bits at the end of the night..."

"It's still cheating, even if you don't take their money," barked Fluttershy, landing on the table and walking closer. Without breaking her gaze, she grabbed another stack of Discord's chips and scooted them back towards Licorice. "I'll not warn you again."

Spike chuckled. While this was the second time Fluttershy had caught him, Discord had cheated five times that Spike had caught. He hadn't said anything, though, as it was at least entertaining, and because Discord's cheating had only twice benefitted himself. The other three times, it had benefitted nopony, just going from a less exciting group of hands to a more valuable one. A pair of threes beating a pair of twos was fine, but a straight flush being beaten by a royal flush was way more interesting and exciting, even if the outcome was the same.

"Your drinks, sirs," mentioned a server, extending a tray between Spike and Thorax. Spike took his lowball of bourbon on the rocks, with actual emeralds being the chilled rocks he would use. Thorax and Pharynx both had a glass of red wine, unchilled and warm. Pharynx, however, had asked for half an orange slice to be placed in his glass.

"So, how do you like tonight's activities?" asked Phanynx, swirling his merlot. "Having fun so far?"

Spike nodded. "It's been good so far. I think I might move over to blackjack before too long, but not quite yet. I want to see how some of this plays out, first."

"Well, don't drink too much. We wouldn't want to ruin what we have coming up."

"Hey, don't spoil the surprise," whined Thorax, setting his glass of port down on a coaster. "He already saw the tables hours before the party. Let him keep at least one surprise..."

Spike shook his head. "I already saw the cake, too. Butterscotch ice cream is a good setup, and it's thankfully nice and big. Plus, I was in the planning committee. I know what's going to happen. It's no surprise, but I'll enjoy it anyway."

As he lifted his drink to his lips, however, he very nearly spat it out. Discord had swapped out his emeralds for amethysts, and he didn't notice until he tasted them. He knew it had been Discord, because while everypony else looked mildly concerned, Discord was chortling with glee.

"No surprises, eh?" smiled Discord, tenting his fingers in front of his snout. "That sounds like a challenge to me. Prepare yourself for the unexpected."

A few seconds passed in silence as Spike looked around, trying to find out what Discord had prepared.

"What are you looking for?" questioned Discord. "If you could see it coming, it wouldn't very well be unexpected, now would it? If you expected it, that makes it not an unexpected event. Come now, Spike, you know better than that..."

Spike sat back in his seat. He checked his glass before taking another drink, this one bigger. "Very well. Hit me with your best shot."

Discord shrugged and shook his head. "If you insist."

He folded his arms and everypony watched in silence as the two had a staring contest. This was perhaps the most still Discord had ever been without first being turned to stone. He didn't move, didn't blink, he just sat there and stared at Spike. And Spike just sat in his own chair and stared back.

After two and a half minutes of silence, Discord fell over, to shocked gasps from the crowd. Many of the ponies that had been watching were behind him, and hadn't caught the moment when Discord replaced himself with a cardboard cutout of himself. Only Fluttershy seemed to be able to guess where he went, as she fluttered up to the ceiling right away and pulled him out of the chandelier.

"Now, nonsense is fine for having fun, but this is supposed to be a quiet, dignified evening. I shouldn't have to fly in my evening gown, letting everypony see my undergarments, nor should I have to climb up onto the table. Discord, you promised you would behave yourself, and you're on thin ice, mister." She turned to Spike next. "And you shouldn't be antagonizing him."

"Right. Sorry, Discord," sighed Spike, extending his claw.

"Oh, apology accepted," smiled Discord. As he shook Spike's claw, Spike pulled away, as Discord had a very sticky claw. "Oh, sorry about that. I was making a sandwich earlier with jellies and jams, and one of them must have ended up stuck there."

"It's fine," sneered Spike. "I'll just go wash it off."

As Spike went into the lavatory to wash his claw in the sink, he questioned how Discord had managed to play a dozen hands of five-card draw without marking the cards with strawberries and sugar. A few seconds after he walked through the door, a shriek was heard, and he burst out, his face bright red. As the fake colts' room sign slid out of the way to reveal the fillies' room sign, he composed himself, and went in the other door.

Chapter the Twentieth: The Bull Ride

Scootaloo was having a lot more fun after the axe-throwing match. While she hadn't participated much in the spraying of champagne before, she was all in after the axes, and the carriage ride across town felt significantly shorter and without much in the way of words.

After drying off and disembarking, she didn't question the name of the bar, Whomping Whiskey. Knowing that Rainbow Dash had likely tossed her own hoof into matters meant it was going to be a lot of fun, whatever it was. It was also a bar and grill, which meant there was food to be had.

Upon entering, Pinkie immediately bounced to the back, where a large squared-off area covered in pads and ringed by netting was. It almost looked like a wrestling ring, except that there was a large mechanical device in the center.

Sweetie Belle and Rarity went to the bar, instead, opting not to ride the padded piston, which meant they could start eating right away. Rainbow, Scootaloo and Apple Bloom, however, followed Pinkie to the back.

"Howdy," smiled the attendant, tipping his cap. "Y'all ready ta play?"

"Cousin Applesauce," chuckled Apple Bloom. "Ah didn't know y'all'd be here!"

"Cousin Apple Bloom," he smiled back. "Ah didn't know y'all'd be comin' by! Y'all gonna hop on up 'ere?"

"Y'all know it!" Apple Bloom hopped into the ring and with a second leap, situated herself firmly on the mechanical bull. With one hoof on the handle and the other in the air, she called out "Ready!"

The bull started swinging around wildly as Applesauce started running the controls. Some of the newer models were hooked up to computers that operated them, but having an attendant operate the bull gave an alternative flavour that was appreciated by most patrons.

Apple Bloom was actually really good at this. Applejack would have been better, being a rodeo champion more than a dozen times over riding real bulls, but Apple Bloom was still pretty skilled. She managed to hold on tight for a good thirty-eight seconds, before being slammed forward forced her off and into the padding.

"Ya done did good, cuz!" cheered Applesauce. "Who's goin' next?"

"Ooh! Pick me!" bounced Pinkie. "I wanna go on!"

"Well, climb on up 'ere!"

Pinkie bounced into position and grabbed the handle. "Ready!"

"Here we go!"

"Waa--!!" With the very first buck, Pinkie was sent flying into the netting, bouncing around and coming to a rest in the corner. "Whee-he-hee! Again, again!!"

"Pinkie," sighed Rainbow, "The point is to hold on for as long as possible. Like this."

Rainbow fluttered onto the bull and gripped it tight. "Ready when you are! Give it everything you haAAA--!!"

As soon as she said she was ready, Applesauce started slamming her back and forth, swinging her around, spinning her and bouncing her around as wildly as he could manage. She managed to hold on until a buzzer on the control panel sounded.

"HOOWEE!!" shouted Applesauce. "Lookee here who just won themselves a FREE bucket a' hot nuggets!"

The whole bar seemed to cheer as Rainbow swung off the bull and hopped down, giving Scootaloo a high hoof before collecting her voucher. "You're up next, Squirt!"

"What have we here?" asked Applesauce, despite having kept an eye on her since they'd come in. "Not a whole lotta dragons come in here, and even fewer hop up on the steer here. Ah wanna be absolutely clear that this thing has a weight limit. Are you under a hundred kilos? Ah ain't so good at guessin' when it comes ta non-ponies..."

"Sixty," answered Scootaloo. "Or just over."

"Okay, should be fine. No breathin' fire, alright?"

"No problem."

"Okay!" he smiled. "Hop on up 'ere, then!"

Scootaloo climbed up and grabbed ahold of the handle and raised her other claw as everypony else had. Applesauce started out slow and easy, not making hard or fast movements, but slow and direct movements. As she spun, she could see Apple Bloom whispering to him, and she could see that Applesauce was looking for anything that might be out of place. As he said, though, he'd never bucked a dragon on one of these, so Scoootaloo was fine being a test drive.

"Crank it up!" shouted Rainbow, and Applesauce did just that.

Before long, Scootaloo was flying around, lifting her wings straight up for stability. Being flung back and forth, she would sometimes be lifted from the padding and brought back down. The rough surface of the padding and scaled stitching on the saddle reminded her of Spike's hips, and for a few seconds, she softened her underbelly with the thought of him gripping her thighs and slamming up into her. For a brief few seconds, she lived in that fantasy, and let go of reality.

Unfortunately, she let go of the handle, too, and with an unexpected spin, she was flung into the netting, landing upside down.

"Forty-eight seconds," said Applesauce, pointing to the timer. "Ah ain't s'posed ta do this unless ya go the full minute, but fer bein' the first dragon we ever done had, Ah'd call that a winner! Y'all have a hayburger, on me!"

As he pulled her up to her claws, he made sure to whisper into her ear, "Hey, ya might wanna go clean up in the restroom, first. Don't worry 'bout it, it happens to mares, too."

As Scootaloo looked down, she noted that some of her arousal had made itself physical. Some was left on the bull, but as if he were well-practised at it, Applesauce yanked a towel out of his belt and mopped up the sticky mess she'd left on the saddle without drawing any attention to it. Just as quick as he'd pulled it out, the towel disappeared back into his belt, and the only evidence remaining that Scootaloo had been aroused by the machine was between her legs.

She did take his advice, disappearing discretely into the lavatory and cleaning herself with a couple of paper towels and a sink. When she came out, Rainbow escorted her over to a table, where her free hayburger was already waiting, as well as Rainbow's spicy oat nuggets and the food everypony else had ordered.

In addition to their food, Rarity had ordered a round of margaritas for the table, and after a toast to Spike and Scootaloo's wedding, those disappeared right away.

Chapter the Twenty-First: Blackjack

When Spike returned from the lavatory, the group has dispersed across the room, and Discord was now sitting at the blackjack table. While Spike was still wary of what may or may not go on, he made his way over to the table and sat down.

"Come to join us?" smiled Discord, pulling Spike's chair right up to the table.

"I had always planned to," answered Spike. He held up his claws for the dealer to show that he had washed off all of the strawberry seeds and sugar; something he didn't need to do, but he wanted to prove that he was playing fair.

He was dealt in on the next hand, and was immediately met with a pair of aces. On his turn, he split, and was dealt a nine and a jack. With such a good setup, spike waved his claw. He already had the two best hands at the table.

That was, until Discord's turn, where a split pair of eights was met on one side by a three and a king, and on the other side by four twos and a five. "Looks like I win," he smirked.

"We shall see, sir," answered the dealer. Flipping up his down card, he had a five and a six, and a queen leveled the match.

"You know we're not playing against each other, right?" Spike asked, turning to Discord. "My cards don't have to beat your cards. We're playing exclusively against the dealer." Spike's second hand had not beaten the dealer, and he, Thorax and Pharynx all had to slide some number of chips to the dealer. In fact, Thorax's nineteen and Pharynx's twenty-three lost all of their chips, where Spike had only lost half of his.

"I'm well aware of how to play the game, Spike," snorted Discord. "It's not that complicated."

"Excuse me," scolded Twilight. "I had to learn how to play this game in order for it to be even allowed on the premises. I will have you know that it is a very sophisticated, probability-based game that is every bit as complicated as it is educational."

"And I will agree with that," nodded Discord. "It is every bit as educational as counting to twenty-one and determining which of two whole numbers is larger. It is very sophisticated. But sophistication does not directly translate to complication." He popped an old-school smoking pipe into his mouth and blew a few bubbles from it. "Do you really think I can spread chaos effectively without understanding order?"

Twilight folded her hooves. "It's still a game that teaches mathematics."

"Of course it is," shrugged Discord. "We should show schoolfillies and colts how to play, and teach them probability and addition."

Twilight's brow could furrow no further. "No, we shouldn't!"

"Why not?" grinned Discord. "You just mentioned how it was educational in the field of mathematics. Why should it not be used as a teaching tool?"

"Because it's a form of gambling!"

"Princess Twilight!" called Thorax. "Please, compose yourself. As we have discussed, Blackjack is not based on luck, but skill. It is a game where knowledge and mathematics are king. Take a deep breath."

Twilight took a breath and a drink of her chardonnay. Without another word, she sat down between Spike and Thorax.

In the next deal, it was Twilight who was caught cheating right away, flipping her cards face-up right away for all to see, and everyone turned to glare at Discord. While her face-up card was the three of clubs, her face-down was the eighteen of diamonds.

"What is it?" asked Discord. "Something on my face?"

"You're cheating again," answered Thorax.

"Cheating?" scoffed Discord. "I'll have you know that I haven't even been given the chance to play this hand yet, and I'll need a lot more cards to reach twenty-one." He flipped over his card out of turn order and showed that he had the three of hearts and the negative ten of spades. "If I were cheating, wouldn't I be a step or two ahead?"

As Discord settled back into his seat, his ear fell into Fluttershy's hoof, and she pulled him out of his chair. "Don't wait up for us. I'm going to take Mr. Grumpy home and put him to bed. He's had a long day and needs a nice nap."

With a quick snap of his fingers, Discord called for a portal that would jump them into his home, right underneath the branches of his thinking tree. After they both disappeared behind it, it closed.

"I guess that's the last surprise of the night," shrugged Spike. "A shame, as that means he won. I was expecting something unexpected to happen. Since I didn't expect him to leave without a real surprise, I guess that makes this the real surprise. Very clever, Discord..."

"I don't even think he was expecting that one," chuckled Twilight. "I think he expected that Fluttershy would be more lenient."

"I think we all expected Fluttershy to be a bit more lenient," shrugged Thorax.

"More lenient than what?" asked Fluttershy, returning from the kitchen with one of the serving staff. "Where's Discord?"

"Oh, he said he was tired," answered Pharynx. "So one of my changelings took him home." Slowly, a toothy grin spread across his face.

Spike smiled and clapped his claws. "Now that was a surprise!"

Pharynx shrugged. "Not even my idea. I just happened to spot it."

"Okay," answered Fluttershy. "Well, I was just down in the kitchens, and they're ready to serve the cake, now."

"Excellent," smiled Twilight. "Let's have it brought up, then."

The serving pony bowed and dashed out of the room, presumably to the kitchens to bring up the ice cream cake. He returned two minutes later with it on a very large cart. Now that it was out of the box, it looked much better than What Spike had seen through the plastic window. Only the top tier was butterscotch, with a second, larger layer of fudge, and a third, even larger layer of vanilla. The bottom layer was massive, at seventy-five by fifty centimetres.

"We did consider hiding a stripper in the cake," whispered Pharynx to Spike, "but we thought it might be a bit too cold in there for them."

"Unless their body heat melted the ice cream," answered Spike back. "But then we wouldn't have any cake."

"Well, we didn't bring it all the way here just to stare at it," barked Thorax. "Let's cut into it!"

Chapter the Twenty-Second: Winding Down

Sweetie Belle wasn't feeling well after eating, so after the carriage ride, she didn't go into the new bar. Rarity stayed behind to take care of her, and just in case, Pinkie broke out the ginger tea to assist in calming her stomach.

With two of their party staying behind, the rest of them walked into the South End Taphouse, one of the oldest establishments in the city. It was so old, in fact, that with the city mostly growing southerly, it was now on the north end. That wasn't to say it was rickety; it had been rebuilt twice and was subject to regular inspection, but had kept the name because of how recognised it was within the community.

Immediately, the sound of a saxophone and drum kit filled the air as they walked in, as a local jazz quartet was playing, and it was time for the sax solo. Before long, the piano and upright bass joined back in as the sax lowered in volume and settled down.

"So, what are we doing here?" asked Scootaloo.

"Not much at all," shrugged Rainbow. "Consider this a break."

"A break?"

"Let this moment be a reminder, champ, that not every day is going to be wild and crazy," smirked Rainbow, pulling out a chair for Scootaloo. "Even for as awesome as I am, I still need a nap every so often."

Scootaloo smiled and shook her head. "I already know this. Being a mother, I've had my fair share of days where I just couldn't handle any more, and I needed some time off."

"Do you?" asked Rainbow. "Because when we walked in this afternoon, you were studying, not taking a break."

"Well, yeah, but I had a long bubble bath this morning while listening to a cello concerto. Count that as taking a break."

"Count this as another one," shrugged Rainbow.

"Even the best parties need bathroom breaks!" bounced Pinkie, skipping past the table on her way to said room.

Apple Bloom flopped down in a chair next to Scootaloo. "We was gonna take in a strip show, but y'all said no. That means either a dance club, where it's too easy to end up separated due to the sheer volume of patrons, or a jazz bar. Or a country music stage, but you ain't a big fan a' that..."

"Jazz is fine, as long as it's smooth," answered Scootaloo. "None of that freeform junk. Anything capable of standing the test of time has to have some kind of stable structure."

As if he had heard her, the saxophonist winked at the bassist and started into a freeform structure, while still adhering to the beats and measures dictated by the bass and drum. The pianist followed his lead, with the time still being kept, but the rhythm flying wildly around it. It still held the structure, but gained an openness to it that allowed for both sides of the argument to be true. Scootaloo would have been embarrassed if she weren't impressed.

They sat there for awhile, just listening to the performance that seemed to go on and on, changing its structure to bleed into other pieces, rather than stopping to change what they were playing. In that time, Pinkie had returned to the table with a tray of drinks for everypony still interested.

After the set, the saxophonist hopped down from the stage and approached the table. "Mind if I sit?"

"Closed group," answered Apple Bloom.

"Nevermind her," waved Pinkie. "As long as you're not a creep, you can sit until we leave."

"You sure your band won't be mad?" asked Scootaloo.

"Nah, they do this all the time. Sometimes, in the middle of a set. Last night, Ivory walked out with a magazine and came back ten minutes later with a trail of toilet paper on his hoof. It was fine." He sat down and leaned back as another set began, this time with no sax or drums. "That's one of the upsides of being a jazz musician, is nopony cares if you just leave for a bit, or if you mess up a little. Alto, by the by..." He extended his hoof, and Scootaloo shook it. "What brings you ladies here tonight?"

"Bachelorette party," answered Rainbow.

"I see. Well, I'm sure I don't compare to the pole dancers you've been seeing all night." To accentuate that, he patted his hoof against his stomach and a couple of ripples radiated outward. He wasn't exactly large, just a bit overweight. "Probably a more stimulating conversationalist, though."

"Not like that's hard to do," scoffed Apple Bloom.

"What are you talking about?" shot Rainbow back. "He's said more dumb things than any stripper we've seen all night."

Alto pouted. "Really?"

"Well, yeah," chuckled Scootaloo, knocking back another glass of whiskey. She'd had four times as much as anypony else, and was only now starting to feel a bit light-headed. "They're kind of hard to beat, though, as you've said a non-zero number of words, and at least one of them was bland. That makes a higher count than zero."

Alto chuckled. "None of them approached you? What a letdown! It sickens me when even the sexual deviants of society are so disgusted by ponies hanging around with dragons. Come now, even the princess is trying to open relations of all kinds with other races. Rumour has it she even dated a hippogriff. Or was it a gryphon?"

Scootaloo shook her head. "I heard something different. But yeah, I'd heard about the stigma."

Alto shook his head. "I don't understand why it's a big deal. If a dragoness were interested in me, I'd sweep her off her claws, take her back to my place, and show her the true skill that comes from playing an instrument that requires your lips to constantly be pushing air in one direction only." He waggled his eyebrows seductively. "Can I buy you a drink?"

Scootaloo couldn't help but laugh. "My drinks are already paid for, but I'll tell my fiancé your joke; he'll find it a riot."

The smile fades from Alto's face as he turned red. "So you're the... Heh, heh... sorry..."

"No big deal," smirked Scootaloo. "He's not the type to hold a grudge. Plus, he'd agree with you that dragons are sexy beasts. He's one of us, but we're not together because of the stigma. He'd feel the same about me, even if I was a pony, and I can say that with absolute certainty."

Chapter the Twenty-Third: Ice Cream and Presents

Being that he was most often filling in as a host or assistant to the host, and also very caring by dragon standards, Spike made sure to serve everypony a brick of ice cream cake before taking one for himself. Thankfully, there were still four slices of butterscotch left. It was not only the smallest layer, but also the most popular, just outpacing the fudge.

"You know," chuckled Thorax, "You really should have reserved a piece if you wanted butterscotch. It's your cake, after all."

"I know," answered Spike. "But it's all okay. Even if it wasn't an option, I still like vanilla, and there's plenty of that left."

"And fudge," added Pharynx. "Who doesn't like a good fudge?"

"I'll give you this," shrugged Spike. "It's better than straight chocolate ice cream."

"It's just a shame Discord had to leave early," sighed Fluttershy. "I think he was just upset that Pinkie wouldn't let him take over and plan the party himself. Perhaps that's why he kept trying to change things."

"I kinda feel sorry for him," shrugged Spike. "I don't dislike him, but... half a dozen other ponies were also mad that they couldn't help plan the party. And that included Twilight and Thorax, at first. But I wasn't trying to ruffle any feathers, I just... I already had three party planners trying to decide the best way of doing things, you know?"

"Too many cooks spoil the broth," proclaimed Twilight.

"What broth?" asked Pharynx. "Did we forget to make soup?" He glared at Thorax. "Were we supposed to bring soup?"

"It's an expression," explained Twilight. "It means that too many ponies trying to make a party for Spike going in too many different directions would have made the party basically nothing because everypony would be competing for the right to say that their contribution was what made it special. Three of us was already a crowd; five more would have been a nightmare."

"This seems a dour subject," swallowed Thorax, setting his empty plate aside. "Perhaps we should move on?"

"Yes!" smiled Twilight. She set down her own plate and galloped out of the room. Spike didn't know what to make of it until she came back with a small cart loaded with presents.

This actually was a surprise to Spike. Gifts were not part of the plan he'd written down, meaning they were added outside of the planning committee. "Did Pinkie okay this?" he whispered to Thorax.

"It was her idea," he whispered back. "And don't be too upset with Twilight's; she's only trying to help."

"Why? what's wrong with it?"

"You'll see..."

Twilight started pulling presents from the top. The last guests to arrive would have put theirs on top, meaning Twilight's would be among the last to be opened.

First came a gift from the Cakes. They had purchased him a set of attachments for a stand mixer that he didn't have. As soon as he brought that up, Mrs. Cake started to say something, but her husband cut her off. Still, the damage was done, and Spike now knew what wedding present he should expect from them.

Berry Punch was next, and she'd bought him a crate with six bottles of wine. That paired well with the bartop tools that Misty Step had given him, which included six wine glasses, six champagne flutes, and a corkscrew.

Big Macintosh had given him a present that both of them would enjoy together, as well as Cudgel; a new expansion to Ogres and Oubliettes with eight new character pieces. While some might have assumed that this was a gift from Big Mac to himself, Spike would make no such claim. This was something Spike really had wanted.

Then came a gift that had four names on it: Raspberry Delight, Applejack (who had not made it to the party due to being busy), Corn Pudding and Elastic Snap. Apparently, they had all gone in together on a gift, and it was very large and heavy. It was actually three boxes packed together; The largest was a charcoal/woodfire grill, the middle, a smoker barrel that would attach to the side, and the smallest was filled with accessories, those being a steel brush, spatulae, tongs, a grill fork, and all manner of other tools for use with a grill. No lighter, but Spike had that covered five times over, as Scootaloo and the kids could all breathe fire.

A selection of naughty gifts followed from ponies that didn't read the whole invitation or took the smiley winky face Pinkie had put on the card as a sign to disregard that part, when it was meant to just be a smile and a wink, and attached to the next sentence, "Don't be late!" Included in this cavalcade, Spike received a blow-up doll, four fleshlights, free passes to a strip club, some bondage gear (which was one of the few things he might actually use), a picture book filled with scantily-clad or completely nude mares and a steamy romance novel about a mare being kidnapped by and making love to a very large dragon. For as upsetting as that last one was, Spike still smiled and thanked everypony for their gifts as he went along.

Fluttershy openly admitted that she had not bought Spike a gift; that she and Rarity had opted to join together and make one for him, and that it wasn't ready yet, but would be before the wedding. Spike was more than happy to wait, as the personal touch of making the gift almost guaranteed that it would be spectacular. The fact that Rarity was involved meant that, even if it wasn't spectacular, Spike would love it anyway.

Now for Twilight's present. Twilight was known for giving the same present every time; a book. It wasn't always the same book, and sometimes it was even relevant to the situation. While most of the time, it was just something to be enjoyed, his eighteenth birthday saw her giving him a book on tax law. When he'd first bought the land for his house, she'd given him a book on house construction techniques from all across Equestria. When he finished the house, she gave him a book on decoration. Tonight, she gave him two books.

"Reigniting the Spark: The Therapist's Guide to a Long and Happy Marriage," read Spike, looking at the first one.

"You're breaking up?! gasped Berry Punch.

While Berry Punch was not known for being the most in-control of her state, some of the guests had to wonder if the flames of passion Spike had for Scootaloo had gone out. Why else would he need such a book? The mutterings finally made the thought click in Twilight's head why Thorax had told her this was a bad gift idea.

"How considerate!" shouted Thorax, patting Spike on the back. "Princess Twilight wants your marriage to be long and happy, and gave you something to ensure that, whatever happens, you have the knowledge required to prevent it from coming apart! Good gift, Princess; to reinforce their love and make sure they never break apart!"

Twilight could tell by how forced his smile was that Thorax was covering her mistake. He'd tried to warn her, and she'd fallen through, regardless.

Spike moved to the next book. This was a far better gift, but one that Spike was embarrassed to find that Twilight had even considered. Still, he had to remember that she was just trying to help, and was looking to improve his relations with his soon-to-be wife. Hells, she'd watched them have sex before to make sure they were staying safe.

"Th-the Draco S-sutra..."

Chapter the Twenty-Fourth: Darts

After their short break at the jazz club, things started to wind down. Apple Bloom was the next to bow out, and Pinkie Pie after that, leaving the last stop of the night to be just Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo. Neither one was at peak condition anymore, as the night's events had taken a lot out of them.

When they walked in, they were immediately spotted by Alto, who was already there, for some reason. Rather than waving them over, he approached. "Didn't expect to see you again tonight. Your friends ditch you?"

"They drank too much," said Rainbow. "Real lightweights."

"Yeah, not like us," smirked Scootaloo. She'd had a lot to drink by this point, enough that, were she a pony, she'd probably have bowed out ages ago, or would have been passed out in the carriage before Apple Bloom. Or, if she had just kept going at the same pace to this point, she'd be needing a new liver and kidneys. Even Rainbow had told her to slow down after having an entire quart.

"Well, I hope they find their way home alright."

"Oh, don't worry about them," waved Scootaloo. "We have a deservated driver." After realizing what she'd said, she sputtered into laughter and almost fell over. "Desiccated driver..."

"You sure she hasn't had one too many?" asked Alto. "How much can dragons drink safely?"

"More than a pony," snorted Rainbow. "I'm keeping an eye on her, and our desperated driver said she seemed okay."

The driver had said no such thing. It was Rarity that had said she was fine for one more stop, but this was it. Sweetie Belle had already vomited in her lap, but the protective suit Rarity had brought had protected her and was easily cleaned up with a hose, provided by the driver.

"If you say so," shrugged Alto. "I was just about to look for a dart game to join once my nachos arrive. Would you ladies care to join me?"

"We actually had reserved a dartboard," said Rainbow, "but I'd love some nachos right now..."

They all returned to Alto's table. It was a two-seater, but stealing a chair from another table rounded them out. It wasn't long before the waitress brought out a large platter of nachos.

"Wow," chuckled Rainbow. "You were going to eat all of this yourself?"

"Nah, I was gonna leverage it to convince somepony to let me join their game. And look, it worked!"

"Damn right, it did!" laughed Rainbow, grabbing a hoofful of chips and shoving them in her face.

Scootaloo made a grab for some of her own, missed twice, and when she grabbed some, her claws were covered in cheese. As she started to lick it off with her forked tongue, Alto watched intently. He was still very into the idea of bedding a dragon, and even though Scootaloo was spoken for, he still thought she was hot, and watching her lick her claws was going to provide a visual for his fantasies for the next month.

After a few minutes of the girls eating nachos, Scootaloo pushed the plate towards Alto. He'd paid for the food, after all, and hadn't eaten any of it. He refused with a blush, just letting them gorge themselves while he tried to hold down his erection. While Rainbow saw it, she didn't process what or why it was. Even if she had, she wasn't the type to make fun of him for his taste any further than playful ribbing. Plus, she didn't want to insult him because he might retract his offer of nachos.

"Alright," Rainbow said after a loud burp. "Where's that dartboard?"

"I'll show you," offered Alto. He squirmed in his seat for a bit, then stood up. His tail was between his legs, and as he led them to the other side of the room, Scootaloo could swear he'd hidden something inside of it.

There were four dart boards and an open space in front of them that was fenced off to keep ponies from walking in the path of the flying darts. It had reduced the injuries by twelve percent in the last six months, making this the safest bar in the city.

Alto went first, but just as he was readying his throw, he turned to Scootaloo. "Hey, which game are we playing?"

"Darts?" shrugged Scootaloo. "It's not throwing knives or axes, and I can't recall the rules."

"Just count up," answered Rainbow. "I thunk we're too drink to keep an even count for three-oh-one."

"Good enough for me," answered Alto. As he launched his darts, he scored a sixteen, a double ten, and a four.

Scootaloo was next, with a triple twenty, a double nineteen, and a bullseye.

Rainbow missed the first throw, sticking the dart in the wall as her throw was interrupted with a burp, but the next two were triple twenties.

"Wow," chuckled Alto. "Didn't realize I was playing with two pros..."

"I've actually never played before," said Scootaloo. "We threw axes. We didn't play darts. But I still won because no one else hit the bullseye!"

"I scored a forty," said Alto. "Your friend scored a hundred and twenty, and you made one hundred and forty-eight. So yeah, you're winning."

Seven rounds later, Rainbow had played an almost perfect game at one thousand, three hundred and eighty points. If she hadn't flubbed the first throw, she'd have played it perfect. Scootaloo was trailing at six hundred and eighty-two, and Alto had nearly caught her at six hundred and seventy-six.

Scootaloo had fallen over twice, the second time right into Alto's hooves. It was after her score was tallied, and she had passed out before she heard Rainbow's final score.

"I think it's time we took the little Squirt home," said Rainbow. "Carry her out for me, would ya?"

"With pleasure," blushed Alto. He managed to keep his hooves to himself for the most part, but when she started to slip, he was all too happy to adjust her position to be more comfortable, resting her chin on his shoulder. Still, he didn't want any issue with her soon-to-be-husband, not knowing how big and strong Spike was. It was enough just to feel her claws on his shoulders... for now...

Chapter the Twenty-Fifth: Rules Broken

Spike went through the last few gifts, including a lackluster but still appreciated one from Rainbow, being scale polish, and a framed picture from Pinkie Pie that showed Twilight and her friends that Spike had taken, but with Spike cut into the picture to remind him that he was part of the friend group, even if he was mostly mechanically involved. They were old pictures, too, meaning Pinkie had been keeping these for a very long time. That pony really knew how to bring out a smile.

"Thank you all for thinking of me," smiled Spike. "It's good to know that I have so many friends who care about me enough to celebrate my engagement."

"But apparently not enough to read the whole invitation," whispered Thorax to Pharynx, who chuckled in turn.

"Seriously, this means a lot to me. My only regret with tonight is that not everyone could be here to revel in the joy I feel tonight. I wish everypony in Ponyville could participate in this. I understand that they have their own things to do, but... It'd be nice to bring happiness to ponies like Applejack. Aunty Lofty and Aunt Holiday, they deserve a good time, and you all know how wonderful it is when Rarity smiles."

"And that's my cue!"

The lights shut off, and a spotlight shone down to one of the doors. Through it walked Rarity, wearing the same protective suit she had been seen leaving in.

"Rarity?" questioned Twilight. "I thought you were going to watch over Scootaloo's party to make sure it didn't run out of hoof?"

"Oh, nevermind that, darling," chuckled Rarity. "They're all fine. They have each other, don't they?"

"Well..."

"Besides, it's my Spikey-wikey's last big party being single! I would never dream of missing his big day! Especially since I have a present for him!"

"It's ready?" asked Fluttershy, her jaw dropping. "We were only a third of the way done this afternoon!"

"Not that one, dear..." Rarity unzipped the outer shell of her clothing. Under the protective coating, a second outfit hid, and as she kicked aside her protective gear, what was left was the seductress Spike had created, Princess Shmarity. "This is one I've been working on alone for a long time."

She gave a twirl, and showed off her crotchless panties and quarter-cup bra. Pulling a makeup kit from a puff of smoke, she adorned her lips with a cherry-red lipstick and a lavender eyeshadow.

"Rarity, what are you doing?" asked Spike, already uncomfortable. He'd dreamed about Rarity for years, but he'd openly admitted to her that, in all of his fantasies, it was an intimate, private, quiet affair. If she was going to do this, a public event was not the place. If she had just asked him, he would have brought her home to plead with Scootaloo to give him permission. And knowing Scootaloo, she'd probably let him, after giving him a list of stipulations.

"What does it look like, mighty Garbuncle?" Rarity asked, her horn lighting up with a green aura that pulled a chair over to collide with the back of Spike's knees, knocking him into a sitting position. "I'm going to give you something I've always wanted to." She climbed up on the chair with him and sat down on his lap, digging her tongue into his mouth.

Spike grabbed her by the shoulders and pushed her back, but she'd grabbed his tongue between her teeth. "Rarithy, sthtop id," he slurred.

"Now, now, Spikey-wikey," argued Rarity, pushing his claws behind his back. "You know better than to touch without asking."

"Can we slow down a bit and just talk?"

"Oh, Spike, you know actions speak louder than words..." She reached down between his legs and ran her hoof along his slit.

"I said no!" shouted Spike, tossing her aside and bolting from the room.

He didn't slow down until he was outside, his eyes filled with tears. He looked around to make sure there were no pegasi up here on the roof or flying overhead before he lowered his back against the wall, sobbing quietly. He felt betrayed, on a night that was supposed to be a happy occasion.

Twenty minutes passed before he felt a hoof on his shoulder. "Mind if I sit?" asked Thorax.

Spike uncurled his tail and scooted over, wiping his face. "Why did she have to embarrass me like that?"

"I don't know," answered Thorax. "I specifically told her not to do that."

"You knew Rarity was going to show up?"

Thorax wrapped a hoof around Spike's shoulder. "That wasn't Rarity. When you threw her to the ground, her disguise slipped off. It was one of the changelings we'd brought with us."

Spike sniffed. "It felt real, though..."

"I'm sure. She's very good at disguises."

"Why would she do that if you told her not to? Doesn't she know that a king's word is law?"

"We don't know. And we won't know until she regains consciousness."

Spike looked up, his eyes wide. "I... I didn't mean..."

"You didn't," waved Thorax. "Not wholly, anyway. Pharynx said there was something wrong with her eyes and vowed to eviscerate whoever had been puppeteering her. Quite loudly, too. That's probably why nopony's coming forward; he's vicious."

As Thorax pulled out a hoofkerchief, Spike blew his nose and wiped his face. "I hope he's not serious. I don't want anypony else to be hurt on my account..."

"It's the way he cares," shrugged Thorax. "He won't actually hurt them, I don't think, he's just angry because he likes you, kind of, and he hates when somepony tries to hurt somepony he likes. A little tough to work with, but, hey, he's my brother."

Spike took a deep breath.

"Hey, listen. Nopony would blame you if you just went home. After that little snafu, some ponies already left, much to Pharynx's chagrin. He wouldn't stop blocking the door until Twilight promised him that she'd find out who tried to ruin your party. So if you'd rather go home and see your kids, maybe wait for Scootaloo, I'll tell everypony to head home, and we'll bring all your gifts by tomorrow evening. You know, so your kids don't see the worst of them."

Spike took a deep breath and swallowed hard. "No. I'll take them home tonight. The right thing for me to do is go back downstairs and let everypony know that I'm okay."

"Are you, though?"

Spike shook his head. "But I should tell them I am. Otherwise, they're just going to worry about me. I'll manage."

"If you're sure," said Thorax, standing up and offering his hoof to Spike.

"I am," answered Spike, taking his hoof and standing up. "And thanks."

Chapter the Twenty-Sixth: Reunited

After informing everypony that he was all patched up now and sending them home for the evening, Spike loaded up his gifts onto the cart. He would come back tomorrow for the ice cream cake remnants, but for now, just putting it back in the freezer was priority.

Before leaving, Spike looked at the changeling that had jumped on him in Rarity's skin, and sure enough, her pupils were twisted into a swirl. Pharynx was sitting next to her, and with the way he was looking at her, and the scowl he gave Spike, it was safe to say that Thorax was wrong about Pharynx's intentions. He wasn't after the one who had ruined Spike's party, but the one who had harmed a fellow member of his hive. Which would be the same pony, but he had his priorities.

It was early in the morning already, and even though it was still dark out, dawn was right around the corner. Not wanting any early-rising kids to spot him out the window, Spike threw a sheet over the cart and brought it back to the house. The streets were mostly empty, so he had an unobstructed path, and a guard following behind him to make sure he didn't drop anything.

Holiday and Lofty were still there when he arrived, sleeping on the couch together. He did his best not to wake them as he brought everything inside, storing the sex stuff in his bedroom before anything else came in, as he wanted all of that out of the way as soon as possible.

As he came out to unload the grill, he saw a carriage approaching. A big one. As it stopped in front of his house, his assumption was proven true; this was Scootaloo's carriage.

"Hey, Shpike," slurred Rainbow out the window.

"Good morning, Spikey-wikey," smiled Rarity. "How is my favourite dragon this morning?"

Spike reached up and scratched the back of his neck, grinning weakly and blushing. "I'm good, I guess..."

"Something wrong, darling?"

"Well..." He leaned up and whispered into her ear.

"Oh... dear..." She shifted uncomfortably. "Now, Spike, you know we've had this conversation before."

"I know. And I respect your decision. That's why I thought it was so... odd."

Rarity ran her hoof around his face and gave him a gentle kiss on the nose. "You're very special to me, Spikey, and a true gentlecolt. I love you dearly, and wish you a long and happy marriage. Speaking of, would you mind coming in?"

After melting a bit at her touch, Spike opened the door and climbed inside the carriage, where Rarity was still in her protective gear and Scootaloo was passed out on the seat. Without a word, he knew what he needed to do. Scooping Scootaloo up in his claws, he draped her chin over his shoulder. "Did you have any problems?"

"There was a drunk that tried to abscond with Sweetie Belle, and a stallion that tried to hit on Scootaloo until he found out that she was engaged to a dragon, but otherwise, smooth sailing," smiled Rarity. "As far as I'm aware, anyway. I bowed out pretty fast."

Spike smiled and rubbed Scootaloo's back, cradling her wings as he did so. "I don't have to worry about that stallion, do I?"

"He seemed sweet," admitted Rarity, "but I would put your faith in Scootaloo. The two of you are intended now, after all."

Spike nodded. "I trust her. I'm just being protective, I guess."

Scootaloo wrapped her tail around his waist and gripped him a bit tighter. She was still out cold, she was just reacting to his smell and touch.

"I should take her to bed," chuckled Spike. "Looks like she's had a long night."

"Oh, two quick things before you go?"

"Sure."

"Did you enjoy your party, Spike? Other than, you know, that one part... I heard Applejack gave you something big and wonderful."

"A grill," answered Spike. "Yeah, it was pretty good, overall."

"Good. One last thing:" Rarity leaned forward and kissed his snout once more. "Rest well, my Spikey-wikey. I'll have a real present for you soon, and this time, it will have all of the care and consideration you have come to expect from me."

Spike felt very weak in the knees at her second kiss. But feeling Scootaloo wrapped around him kept him strong. "I hope to see you soon, Lady Rarity."

As Spike descended from the carriage, it took off again, carrying the rest of the girls to where they would spend their morning: Fluttershy's cottage. That was where Rarity was staying, and Fluttershy had already volunteered to make sure they all recovered properly. She'd even already made tomato soup and left it in the fridge for them, just to make their hangover recovery easier.

The exception to this was Apple Bloom. Since Fluttershy had moved nearby, Apple Bloom could just go right back to Applejack's care and be just fine.

Scootaloo, however, still needed care, and even though Spike was physically, emotionally, and mentally drained, he was going to watch over her.

She stirred when they reached the top of the stairs, and groaned as he carried her into the bedroom. "My head..."

"Shhh..." calmed Spike, whispering. "I'll bring you something to drink."

"Nooo... drinksh made me like this... an stop shouting..."

Spike lowered her into bed and covered her up, rolling up the rug with his foot to move it out of the way. Knowing how wild she could be in bed, he'd opted out of carpeting for the bedrooms to make it easier to clean, and the rug provided protection from the cold of the hardwood floor. If she threw up, it would be easier to clean it up without the rug.

After closing the door as quietly as possible, Spike rushed downstairs and offloaded the grill in the backyard, covering it with a tarpaulin before going in through the back door to make waffles and coffee. But not just any coffee; this was lemon coffee.

Lofty came into the kitchen as Spike closed the waffle iron. "Oh, you're back?" she yawned. "I didn't hear you come in."

"I was quiet on purpose," said Spike. "I didn't want to wake you."

"Oh, no worries. Is Scootaloo home yet?"

"Upstairs in bed. She had a lot to drink, so... Can you take the kids for the day? I'll stay beside her and help her recover."

"Oh, sure." Lofty looked over what Spike had already done. "You know what would be better for a hangover than waffles?"

"Hm?"

"Waffles with fresh fruit. Strawberries and kiwi."

As she pulled some from the fridge, a loud pounding at the door woke everyone up. Lofty poked her head into the hall to see Holiday turn around and head for the door to find out who was being so loud. When she opened the door, her jaw dropped.

"Snap? Mane?"

Chapter the Twenty-Seventh: Snap Shutter and Mane Allgood

Holiday took a step backward. "Please, come in. Have a seat on the couch. I'll go tell Lofty you received her letter."

"Sure thing, Holly," said Snap. "And while you're at it, isn't it about time to wake Scootaloo? We need to talk to her."

"Oh, I'm sure she was out late last night. It's probably better if she just rests."

"Nonsense," waved Mane. "After hearing that we've arrived, she'll perk right up!"

"She only just went to bed," scowled Lofty. "Let her rest for a bit. She'll be just as excited this afternoon."

As they spoke, Spike plated the waffles, covering them with a cloche to keep the fruit from being swarmed by flies if Scootaloo had already passed out. He also had her coffee under there, but would remove it as soon as he set down the tray to keep the fruit from steaming.

As he made it to the stairs, he felt a hoof on his shoulder. "Is that for Scootaloo?" asked Snap.

Spike nodded without a word. He'd have brought a talon to his lips to urge them to be quiet, but both hands were holding either side of the tray.

"See? She's already awake!" smiled Mane, pushing past Spike and climbing the stairs. "Scootaloo!"

Lofty planted her hoof on her forehead and chased after her, with Snap following them both up ahead of Spike.

Holiday sighed. "We'll try to keep them out of your horns if we can coax them out of the house. How about we take the kids, too?"

"That'd be great, Holly. I already asked Lofty to watch the kids so I could tend to Scoots."

"Good. Need any help with that tray?"

"Nah. Ponies pushing past me while I was carrying stuff for Twilight gave me lots of training. If you could bring them back downstairs, though, that'd be great."

Holiday rushed upstairs with a nod, careful to avoid bumping Spike to make it easier for him in spite of his assurances.

"Scootaloo?" Mane and Snap were opening the doors, trying to find out what room Scootaloo was in. "Where are you?"

"She's trying to rest," growled Lofty, grabbing Snap by the shoulder. "You're going to wake the kids; come back downstairs so we can talk about this."

"Oh, it's time to wake up, anyway," said Mane, opening Barb's door. "Scootaloo, are you in here?"

By now, they'd opened every door except Scootaloo's, and as Holiday reached for the handle to open it for Spike and only Spike, they pushed past him again to invade the room.

Scootaloo was quite upset by this, holding her pillow against her head hard with her claws. She'd heard the whole thing from when they entered the front door, but her head hurt too much to justify pulling herself out of bed.

"Scootaloo?!" called her dad. "Are you in here?!"

"Out!" she growled, a small torrent of flame spurting from her nostrils.

Lofty and Holiday managed to pull her parents away, and Spike entered, regardless of her warning, closing the door gently with his tail. He set the tray on her nightstand and separated the coffee from everything else.

"Hey," he whispered, placing a claw on her shoulder. "I brought you some breakfast."

"Please, no more shouting," she whined.

Spike gently rubbed her shoulder, just bringing the coffee under her nose so she could smell it. She immediately grabbed it and took a few gulps, draining the cup in seconds.

"There's some waffles and fruit, too. Your aunt insisted on it."

"Thank her for me?" groaned Scootaloo, pushing the empty mug at him.

"I'll set right to it," smiled Spike, kissing her cheek as he took the mug to refill it. "I'll be right back."

As he exited the room, he noted that Scootaloo didn't reach for the food at all. Instead, she pulled up the covers over herself and snuggled into them. He made sure to close the curtains with his tail to reduce the light level in the room.

When he went downstairs, he could hear Lofty arguing with Snap, and thought he should back her up, as well as deliver Scootaloo's thank you, but at the same time, he should endear himself to his in-laws. But first, the coffee.

Or perhaps not, as they walked into the room while he was mixing up another mug. "Hey!" shouted Snap, grabbing Spike's shoulder and nearly spilling the lemon juice. "Where's my daughter?!"

"She's upstairs," answered Spike, trying to calm the mood of the whole room by maintaining a level and calm tone. "And she said she wasn't happy about all the yelling, so if you would calm down a bit, sir, it would make everything a lot easier."

"Not until I see my daughter!"

"Sir, you have seen her. She told you to leave her bedroom, remember?"

"Don't play stupid! That was not my daughter!"

"I gave birth to a pegasus filly!" agreed Mane. "I didn't lay an egg that hatched a dragon, so stop trying to convince me otherwise!"

Spike placed his claws together against his lips. "I never said anything about laying eggs, ma'am."

"Well, dragons don't give live birth," growled Mane. "I'll have you know that I've studied the dragons in passing while I was looking into the viability of the dragon lands as an alternative place to house Equestrians. Dragons lay eggs." She folded her hooves. "One would think you'd know that."

"I do, yes. I was hatched from an egg, and all three of my children were hatched from eggs. And while I was not there, I can safely guess that you did not lay an egg."

"You see?"

"But that dragoness upstairs is Scootaloo."

"Which is exactly what I was trying to tell you," groaned Lofty.

"And she thanks you for the chopped fruit," added Spike.

"She's very welcome," waved Lofty, brushing it aside. "Now do you believe me?"

Snap pushed his jaw forward. "No."

"Then let me ask you this," growled Holiday as she walked in from the hallway, the opposite direction as the others had come because she'd been upstairs prepping the kids for a day out. "How stupid do you think your big sister is?"

Snap didn't answer, looking away.

"If you think this is all some big conspiracy to trick you into thinking that it's time for your daughter to marry, then abandon all respect you have for your big sister, because I believe it wholeheartedly, and you should talk to the one she's marrying, because you're about to be related."

"Fine," grunted Mane. "Where is this stallion, anyway? Shouldn't he be here trying to keep Scootaloo out of trouble?"

Spike picked up the mug and smiled. "On my way."

Chapter the Twenty-Eighth: Shower Talk

The morning was slow for a good chunk of Ponyville. Much akin to the days long ago when Twilight was bunking in the library, when the whole town was small enough that any event would be a big one, having the most boisterous and powerful ponies sleep through the morning caused quite a stir without directly causing any kind of stir at all. Some of the quieter ponies were wondering why it was so quiet all of a sudden, but without complaint.

That's not to say that it was wholly quiet. More than eighty percent of the town had not been invited to the event, and as such, were still walking around. Since a fair few of the guests were teachers at Twilight's school of Friendship, Pinkie had scheduled the parties on a Saturday so that they could all spend Sunday morning in bed without having to go back to work.

While Scootaloo was one of those sleeping through the morning, Spike forced himself to stay awake. This was made much more difficult by the fact that he spent most of the morning in bed next to her, his arms and tail wrapped around her to help her burn off all the excess alcohol with his warm embrace.

Rather, that was a lie he told himself. Her liver was doing all the work, and if anyone was helping, it was her kidneys. But believing that he was helping was enough to keep him right by her side, and if she woke up and needed anything, he'd be right there to aid her.

She finally woke up at two in the afternoon. Spike helped her out of bed and into the shower, where she leaned back against the wall and let him scrub every square inch of her body, from the tips of her horns to between her toes. She was aware and agile enough to do it herself, but Spike wanted to, and when he was done, she reciprocated right away.

"Did you have a fun bachelor party?" she whispered, still a bit sensitive to sound.

"I did," answered Spike. "Except for one part where a changeling being controlled by some kind of spell or potion or something tried to jump me, but otherwise, yeah."

"Oh. I'm sorry..."

"Nah. It was mostly fun."

"Oh. Well, mine was mostly fun, too. Just having to deal with a drunk."

"And a musician?"

Scootaloo chuckled, but then groaned. "Oh, it hurts to laugh... Is my big, strong dragon feeling a bit jealous?"

"A bit," admitted Spike. "You know how dragons are..."

Scootaloo chuckled. "Well, don't worry. Rainbow was at my side the whole time."

"I thought Slash stayed home with your aunts?" teased Spike.

"Rainbow Dash, silly..." she rested her cheek against his hip, letting the water run down his chest and onto her face. "If I were disloyal to you in her presence, she'd never talk to me again."

"I'm sure she would..."

"He was a great big flirt, but he didn't actually do anything." She kept scrubbing, moving down his legs until she reached his feet. "So, was that my parents here earlier, or did I dream that?"

"No, they were here. They left with your aunts."

"And did they have tentacles on their face?"

Spike grimaced. "I mean, your dad looked like he hadn't shaved recently, but... no."

"So I dreamed that." Scootaloo nodded. "Good."

"And I invited them to dinner," said Spike. "I haven't even thought about what I'm going to make yet."

"No, no, no," corrected Scootaloo, pressing her chest against his groin. "I've inconvenienced you enough for one day. Staying up with me all morning was nice, but it's made you miss some much-needed sleep. I will handle dinner tonight."

Spike reached down and rubbed her cheek and neck. "You sure you're feeling up to it?"

"If I'm not, Aunt Holiday and Aunty Lofty will probably offer to help."

"Yeah, but I wouldn't rely on her too much. We've already had them all day and last night..."

"Yeah, you're probably right... We should invite them to eat with us, too." She turned her head until his thumb was in her mouth, then started licking and sucking on it.

"What's that for?" asked Spike.

"Oh, nothing much," smirked Scootaloo. "Just a little teaser for what you can expect tonight after dinner. I already know what I want for dessert..."

Spike chuckled and shut off the water. "That reminds me, I have to go make a stop at the castle to pick up the rest of my ice cream cake."

Scootaloo looked up suddenly. "Ice cream cake?"

"Yeah. Thorax brought a big one from his hive. Real nice." He tossed the curtains aside and grabbed a pair of towels for the duo to dry themselves. "I should put that grill together, too."

"What grill?"

Spike frowned. "Did you not receive any presents at your party?"

"No..."

Spike bit his claw. "Well, I'll share some of mine, then."

"That's sweet of you. What'd they give you?"

After drying off, but before his erection went down, Spike brought Scootaloo out into the bedroom to see the collection of toys and books he'd been given. Scootaloo had a good laugh at some of them, and was just as shocked by Twilight's as everyone else was, and even had a chuckle at Thorax's quick, albeit ineffective, coverup.

"I wonder if Twilight gave him any "special treatment" for that..."

"I didn't stick around to find out."

"I'm just saying, anyone willing to damage their credibility to save somepony the embarrassment of a bad gift like that deserves a little something something to repay them. If I were dating Thorax, and he covered my arse like that, I'd let him inside of it."

Spike lowered his face into his claw. "I can't believe you just said that," he chuckled. "Wow. I don't even know how to respond to that."

Scootaloo shrugged. "Having you wrapped around me and running your claws all over my body put me in a randy sort of mood. And having a big, strong manly dragon to protect me makes me wanna do things for him." She ran a talon down the center of his chest. "So... can I watch you put that grill together, Spike?"

Spike swallowed hard and nodded, glad that the backyard had a privacy fence.

Chapter the Twenty-Ninth: Meet the Parents

The table was extended as far out as it could go, but it was still a bit of a tight squeeze near the door. Spike sat on one end, his back to the window, while Scootaloo sat on the other side, next to the kitchen door. To her left, Aunty Lofty sat with the kids, who were scooted together on a bench seat. On her right, her mother, then her father, and Aunt Holiday sat next to Spike.

For awhile, no one spoke. The entirety of the noise was coming from forks scraping against plates and glasses being placed on their coasters. The first words spoken after sitting down were from Lofty to Rainbow Slash. "More shakshuka?"

Slash nodded in response.

After a few more minutes of silence, Scootaloo turned to her parents. "You're going to have to talk to him eventually."

"He's being very rude," grumbled Snap. "He hasn't even asked what we do for a living."

"I'm sorry," swallowed Cudgel. "What do you do for a living?"

"They're both researchers that travel all over the world, but are based at the Royal Canterlot University," answered Spike. "Snap in Botanical Biology and Pharmaceuticals, and Mane in Animal Biology and Chemistry. Eight months ago, Mane suggested a new lightweight, yet sturdy alloy that, while it failed to meet expectations, did manage to create a new self-mending metal, and three months ago, Snap found that the extract from a flower native to Yakyakistan has the exact same chemical makeup as the medicine for the trots. I had to compile both of those reports, so that's how I know what your grandparents do."

"No need to be rude about it," pouted Mane.

"He wasn't," replied Holiday. "All he did was say what you do for a living and list off some of your most recent accomplishments."

"He was very cold when he said he was forced to compile them."

"I never said I was forced to," replied Spike. "I was asked to, and I accepted. Part of my job is to keep up to date with scientific advances and compile them into more easily digestible explanations so that they can be more easily skimmed, because normal ponies can't tell the difference between trichlorodiphenhydramine and monoferrotriphenheptamine. Some of them don't even know what dihydrogen monoxide is."

"I don't know what it is, for example," shrugged Scootaloo.

Both of her parents turned to her, with their jaws dropping in unison and their eyes going wide.

"She was out of the country during her high school years, and was studying dracology in earnest," explained Holiday. "She's not dumb, she was just never enrolled in a chemistry class. She's taking classes now to make up for it, and we take care of the kids on those days."

"Why doesn't their father do that?" asked Mane accusingly.

"Because he has a full-time job," answered Lofty.

"Transcribing and normalising reports shouldn't take that long," said Mane. "It should only be a full-time job if he's bad at it."

"It accounts for maybe one percent of my work," answered Spike. "I only go over that about once a month, or as needed, and it usually only takes a couple of hours. I spend a lot more time overseeing events than I do transcribing. I used to do a lot more stenography, too."

"So, you're a clerk?" asked Snap. "Seems like that could be a part-time job..."

"I'm an aide," clarified Spike. "My job is to do whatever I must to make Princess Twilight Sparkle's job easier. And sometimes, that means actually doing her job for her."

"So, you're an assistant," Mane smirked.

"A number-one assistant," defended Lofty. "If it weren't for him, we'd have lost the Crystal Empire. It was Spike that carried the Crystal Heart to the stand that drove away Sombra. It was his writing that was the catalyst that triggered Discord's defeat, and it was his claws that built this house."

"That would explain the lack of decoration," snorted Snap.

"I thought to hold off until Scootaloo moved back to Ponyville," answered Spike. "And then once she did, we decided together that it was more important that she start studying for her weather licence and secondary education."

"Plus, there's a photograph we hung on the wall this afternoon," added Scootaloo.

"Yes, the poorly edited one."

Holiday turned and smacked Snap in the shoulder. "Don't be mean. You do realize that by criticising the lack of decor, you're inferring that your own daughter has bad taste?"

Scootaloo lowered her head. She had intended to defend Spike, but in doing so, she'd not been paying attention to the fact that she was taking the hits for him.

"Spike is a fine, upstanding dragon," continued Holiday. "He has the trust of not only the princesses, but also Lofty, myself, and your daughter. Even your grandchildren can see how happy they are together. Why can't you?"

Snap leaned in. "Because we've never met Spike before."

"Sure you have," answered Spike. "Eleven years ago, when you sold your house. I was in attendance at the Cutie Mark Crusaders Appreciation Day party. I helped pack your luggage onto the train to Shire Lanka."

"That was handled by Big Macintosh, Troubleshoes and some third pony whose name I can't remember," dismissed Snap.

"Spike," answered Lofty. "I was there, too; I saw him."

"Even with that being the case," sighed Mane, "we still haven't seen him in over a decade. How could we possibly know what he's like?"

"I didn't even see you to the station," replied Scootaloo. "You've seen Spike at least twice since you last saw me."

"Scootaloo, we're just trying to do what's best for you."

"And how would you know what's best for me?! Even if Spike only showed up for a weekend every three months, he was there! Sometimes isn't the best, but it's better than never!"

As tears began to well in Scootaloo's eyes, it was Lofty whose wing wrapped around her shoulder. Spike had kicked his chair back and stood up, but seeing that Lofty was handling it, he sat back down. "Perhaps we should change the subject," he suggested. "We can pick this up another time."

"I think that's a good idea," agreed Lofty. "And I have the perfect solution." Giving Scootaloo one more hug, she popped into the kitchen and came back with some chocolate-stuffed pastries. "Who wants some rugelach?"

Chapter the Thirtieth: Tension

Scootaloo had intended to have her parents stay at the house before dinner, but after their argument, was glad that Holiday and Lofty still had their own house. Scootaloo's old bedroom was a better guestroom than the cot in the basement and the living room couch. More importantly, she didn't want to shout all night.

The kids were pretty tired, as was Spike, so after dinner, they all went to bed early. However, with Scootaloo hinting throughout the day that she wanted to fool around, Spike kept himself awake in their bedroom, and when she crawled into bed, he wrapped his arms around her.

"Not tonight," she sighed. "That whole thing put me in a bad mood..."

Spike relaxed his grip a bit. He'd already warmed himself up. He had been there, too, and he wanted to make her feel better. At first, he'd thought to do so through an intimate internal massage, but now he was thinking that warm hugs were the answer.

"Is everything alright?" he asked.

"No," she grunted, pressing her forehead against his chest. "None of this is alright. I can't believe my parents don't like you!"

"Well, to be fair, I'm a bit upset with them right now, too."

"Well, yeah, but you have good reason to be. They just barged in and started messing with stuff that you worked hard to put together."

"Yeah, but I proposed to the daughter they worked hard to put together. And I did it without asking their permission first."

"You didn't have my aunts' permission, either."

"Yes, I did," answered Spike. "Lofty was there when I requested the ring. In fact, she talked the jeweler out of overcharging me for the custom cut. She knew my intent, and approved."

"Now if only my parents felt the same way," sighed Scootaloo.

"They'll come around," assured Spike. "Everypony in town can see that we should be together. We can show two more."

"I don't know," answered Scootaloo. "They tried to separate me from my loved ones before, and it took the whole town coming together to convince them to let me stay, and even that took two attempts."

"But they did eventually see that Ponyville was best for you. Just give them a little time, and they'll see that I'm good for you."

"Are you sure?"

Spike pulled her close. "Even if I'm not what's best for you, I'm at least a good influence."

"You made me pregnant," snorted Scootaloo, jokingly. "Those eggs were really painful to lay, you know..."

"But now you have a son. And two wonderful daughters. And soon, a pretty alright husband."

"And a house," added Scootaloo. "Don't forget that."

"You see?" chuckled Spike. "If you can reach that conclusion, so can your parents."

When Scootaloo awoke the next morning, Spike was still asleep. He'd been up for two days, and he'd stayed up even later making sure she felt well enough to sleep, so she understood why he was so tired.

She took a deep breath, smelling the musk off his chest. He really was wonderful, from the way he thought about her to the way he smelled. She'd made a promise to him yesterday, and had broken it. Now, it was time to make good on that offer.

Gently, she reached behind him and made sure his wings were tucked in, then rolled him onto his back. She was trying to manipulate his position without waking him up.

Once he was facing the ceiling, she slid down his body, moving slowly so as to not drag the blanket down with her. The cold air would wake him, for sure.

When she reached his legs, she could smell that his musk was way stronger down here. She'd smelled more virile and pungent dragons before, having lived in the dragon lands. Some of them had stenches so powerful that she could smell them across the cavern. But Spike's was the one she wanted. She knew his smell, and it was the one she chose to desire. Even if the other dragons had triggered more of a response than he had, she liked the way he smelled, because she liked him.

She dug her tongue into his slit and wrapped it around his length, gently massaging it and wriggling inside his sheath. He stirred a bit, but did not wake. However, he began to peek through, just a bit, his tip just pressing past her lips. She kissed it, letting it slide into her mouth until the whole thing was out and ready to go.

She gave it a few long, sensual licks, starting at the base and running up to the tip, then kissing it incrementally as she went back down. She rubbed her thumbs against his internal testicles, giving them a small fondle as she went. She knew he liked that, and even if he wasn't awake, it would be a pleasant ending to his dream.

As she started to bob her head, the blanket came up, and Spike looked down at her. "Well, good morning to you, too. I take it you're feeling better?"

Scootaloo said nothing, going all the way down and swallowing his entire length. He was longer than her mouth, and ended up in the back of her throat, but she was taking it like a champ. She was used to him by now, and not only did she know what he liked, but she knew how to do it.

"You wanna scoot that tail end up here?" he asked.

She came up slowly, sucking as she did until she had pulled off of him. "Nope."

"You sure? I have a tongue of my own..."

"This is your reward for being such a good husband," she smirked.

"I'm not your husband just yet," he chuckled. "That's going to come soon, though."

"You're going to cum soon," she teased back.

With a snort, Spike reached down and grabbed her ankle, pulling her hips close enough to massage her slit with his claw. "And so are you, if I have any say in the matter."

With a chuckle, she swallowed him again, moaning as he dug his claws into her pussy, rubbing and stretching it as she continued. She'd successfully made his awakening very special, and if he was about ready to pop, he would have to make up for her rather significant headstart.

Chapter the Thirty-First: Shadow

"Sorry I'm late," huffed Spike, walking into the dining room. "I had to walk here today."

Twilight looked up from her pancakes. "Why? Did you hurt your wing?"

"No, but I was asked to bring Scoots's dad along with me today, and he can't fly. So instead of going in a straight line, we had to weave through the buildings."

Snap walked in as Spike mentioned him. "So, this is the castle, eh? Seems pretty cushy."

Twilight furrowed her brow. "Spike, can I talk to you in private?" she asked.

"Of course." Spike knew she wasn't asking, but telling him that they needed to talk alone, and he was pretty sure he knew why. He'd told Scootaloo that this was a bad idea.

"Why didn't you ask me first?!" shouted Twilight as soon as they were sealed in a bubble of silence. "I haven't even brushed my mane today!"

"It just sort of happened!" answered Spike. "I didn't ask him to tag along, but I can't send him back now!"

"Why is he here, though?!"

Spike took a deep breath. "So, you know I'm marrying Scootaloo."

"Right."

"This is her dad."

"I'm aware."

"And he doesn't like me."

"Oh, stop being ridiculous," waved Twilight. "Why wouldn't he like you?"

"Because I'm marrying his daughter without his permission."

Twilight shook her head. "Scootaloo's an adult by Equestrian standards. And since she's living in Equestria now, those are the practises she has to follow. She doesn't need parental consent for marriage."

"I know that," growled Spike. "And she wants this marriage to go through. She's happier now than she's been in years, and I want her to stay that way. But yesterday, her parents showed up and started listing off ways that I wasn't good enough for their daughter, and that I'd forced her to change to meet my standard of beauty, and all of that."

Twilight shook her head. "They just don't know you very well. You're a great dragon, Spike. Anypony can see that."

"Anypony but Scootaloo's parents," he sighed. "When they showed up again this morning, Scootaloo was insisting that I spend some time with them. At first, I declined, citing that I had to come to the castle, but she insisted. I think seeing me providing for her and the kids will change their opinion of me, is her thought process."

"Well, I can't argue with her logic," sighed Twilight. "Look, I have a few important meetings today with sensitive information." She leaned down and whispered "and right after breakfast, the first one is with Thorax."

"You know he can't hear us inside this bubble, right?"

Twilight glanced around. "Right..."

"So you and your coltfriend want some time alone. I understand. Just give me something that looks hard to do so I can look busy?"

Twilight put her hoof to her chin, then moved it to her forehead. "I'll tell you what. I was going to have you reorganize the library in a few days to make sure it was done properly. Why don't you take care of that this morning?"

Spike furrowed his brow. "Are you mad?"

"No, I'm just trying to look like I'm mad," she said, waving her hoof at him and scowling. "If I make it seem like you messed up by bringing him into the castle without my permission, maybe he'll feel bad about imposing on you like this. He should already feel bad about imposing on me."

"Okay," sighed Spike, dropping his shoulders. "Thanks, Twilight."

"You're welcome." She dropped the bubble and pointed to the door. "And make sure you do it right this time!"

"Yes, ma'am," saluted Spike, rushing out of the room with Snap following behind him.

Spike rushed to the library and started pulling books off the shelf one by one to check if they were, first and foremost, in the right section, second, on the right shelf, and third, alphabetised. The information was printed not on the spine, but under the front cover.

He worked very quickly, and often just put the book right back where he'd picked it up from. Twilight was the primary user of this library, and Thorax was usually pretty close when putting books back, or he asked Spike for help if he'd forgotten where they went. That left the biggest offender of misplaced books just being on the return table, which Spike usually tended to every Monday and Thursday.

Snap didn't really help, not being a librarian. As a researcher, his job was to record the information, not organise it. His reports were reviewed and edited long before being categorised, and when they went on the shelves, so many hooves had handled the information that it may have gone in a new direction than when he had originally filed his report. He wasn't trained as a librarian.

Even if he had been, Spike had spent a lot of time doing this, and the first book he didn't put back just went onto the return table after only ten minutes.

"What's wrong with that one?" asked Snap.

"Card's full-up," answered Spike. "Also, there's no return stamp, so I have to send a notice that it was not listed as returned to the guard who borrowed it. Then I have to ask her when it was returned so it can be recorded."

"Does that happen a lot?"

"It happens sometimes," answered Spike. "Most of the time, it means that the guards who borrow the book are trying to be helpful and put the book back on the shelf for whoever reads it next. Puts it back in circulation faster. But it's like sending out a dish that's not fully cooked."

"Could it have just been unstamped by a librarian who wasn't paying attention?"

"It's possible," nodded Spike. "Or maybe they couldn't find the stamp, or the stamp was out of ink, or a few other reasons. All kinds of things could have led to this small mistake. I just have to make sure that it's corrected by stamping it as returned. It's more important that the problem is corrected so that we don't repeat it."

"So, why do you think it wasn't stamped?"

"The librarian probably missed it."

In actuality, the return card had been marked as returned. The stamp was missing one of its rollers that changed the date, so the return information was printed in pen on the back. This had been two weeks ago, and a new stamp had already been purchased to replace the broken one.

"The librarian missed it," repeated Snap. "Do you often miss things like that? Is that why Princess Twilight said you messed up last time?"

Chapter the Thirty-Third: Friendship Seminar

Spike, Scootaloo, Twilight and Thorax sat with their faces covered by claws or hooves. Twilight had expected more problems to arise with Scootaloo's parents, but she hadn't expected them to arise this quickly.

Twilight was the first to raise her head, taking a deep breath. She turned to Snap and Mane. "Would you two go out into the hallway for a moment? I'll call you back in once I've dealt with this."

"We think we should be in attendance," argued Snap. "Our daughter is the one being indoctrinated, here."

Twilight held up her hoof. "I'll call you back in when it's time."

"Fine." Mane stood up. "Come on, Scootaloo..."

"She stays," commanded Twilight. "She needs to see what happens."

With a nod, Mane and Snap stepped out into the hallway. Twilight immediately locked the door and put up a sound barrier just as Thorax broke down in a fit of tears and laughter.

"Thorax!"

"I'm sorry!" he wheezed. "I'll just need a moment, you go on..."

As he moved aside to resolve his fit of giggles, Twilight took another deep breath. It didn't do much to hide the fact that she, too, was giggling. "Now, Scootaloo, I want the whole truth. It's not that I don't trust Spike; I do, but you were there when it happened, and Spike was here. Undoubtedly, you and Spike had a conversation about this sudden influx of sex toys. Would I be correct in that assumption?"

"Yeah," sighed Scootaloo. She wasn't quite happy about Thorax laughing at her situation, but had enough emotional maturity not to blame him. After this ordeal was over, she'd probably laugh about it, too, or if it had happened to somepony else.

"Good. Communication is important, after all. My question is, was there anything there that he hadn't just brought home?"

Spike looked up. "Twilight, you know I wouldn't!"

Twilight held her hoof up. "Answer the question, Scootaloo. And be honest."

Scootaloo thought back. "No, I don't think Spike had one to begin with. In fact, he should be pretty satisfied now that I'm back."

"Scootaloo?!" gasped Spike.

"Twilight, you see Spike five days a week. You have him for the whole day. You know he's not a sexual deviant."

"Yeah, he's not nearly as bad as... that other guy..." deflected Thorax. Despite everyone in the room being aware that he was talking about himself, only Spike and Scootaloo knew that Scootaloo had been let in on that secret.

"I'm just checking to make sure," dismissed Twilight. "I was pretty sure all of that stuff was new."

"Like I said, it was still in its original packaging," confirmed Scootaloo.

"Okay." Twilight took another breath. "Where were they being stored?"

"In a box under the bed," answered Spike. "I didn't have a better place to put them to keep them away from the kids."

"Yeah, that locking cabinet isn't big enough to hold all of them," nodded Twilight.

"Especially since it's full of condoms, lube, and that one vibrating dildo," added Scootaloo.

All eyes went wide and turned to Scootaloo.

"What?"

"Is that yours, or Spike's?"

Twilight smacked Thorax for even asking.

Scootaloo blushed as the realisation washed over her. "Oh. Yeah, it's mine."

During one of their scheduled meet-ups, Spike had been particularly busy with an emergency crisis in Equestria; a swarm of parasprites had swarmed Appleloosa, and Spike was helping Twilight with food distribution while they waited for Pinkie to come to the rescue. To rescue Scootaloo from being "lonely," Smolder had given it to her. It had seen three uses in four years, because that was how often Spike missed their meets.

Twilight clapped her hooves. "Okay. We now have a firm grasp of the situation."

"Better the situation than the alternative."

Thorax was smacked again. "Now, with the situation now fully understood, I have the solution. Wait right here." In a flash of light, Twilight was gone.

Thorax turned to Scootaloo. "Your parents love you very much."

"I know," sighed Scootaloo. "I don't feel that way right now, but I know it."

"I can taste it," said Thorax. "It's that powerful."

"I wish they could be happy for me," sighed Scootaloo.

"They are. They're just more scared."

"Don't be silly," chuckled Scootaloo. "My parents fight cragodiles and ursas and other monsters all the time. They're not scared of anything."

"They're scared that Spike is going to turn you against them."

"That's ridiculous," scoffed Spike. "I would never!"

"I know that," nodded Thorax. "You both know that, Twilight knows that, everyone in Ponyville knows that. But her parents aren't residents of Ponyville."

With another flash, Twilight returned, sliding a key across the table. "There is a locked chest in your basement, tucked under your train table."

"You still have the train table?" smiled Thorax.

"He does," answered Twilight. "And the whistle you gave him."

"Nice."

"So, we keep the box locked," concluded Scootaloo. "That is what you were about to say, right, Twilight?"

"Yes," nodded Twilight. "It solves the problem of keeping your parents out of it, and also hiding them from your kids."

"Thanks, Twilight," sighed Spike. "I don't know what we'd do without you. You've saved our scales."

"Don't even worry about it," smiled Twilight. "Now, look..." she pressed her hooves together and leaned in. "I can't be called on for every small thing, and I know you two aren't the cause of that. But if you can, do try to come up with viable solutions on your own." She clapped twice. "Here's a good idea, Scootaloo. Why don't you go for a fly with your mother? One of the big reasons you wanted to stay with Spike in the first place is that he cured your inability to fly; tell her that."

"Well, I guess I don't have a lot of options," sighed Scootaloo. "She already scared off my tutor, and he's probably preparing to go to work by now, so we can't really finish. That's two days I have to make up for, and a book I still have to retrieve." She sighed. "Well, I guess I can go see my aunts. They apparently have my weather book."

"That's the spirit," smiled Twilight. "Now, I'm about to let your parents back in. Thorax, prepare to look disappointed. Spike, look hurt, and Scootaloo, look scared. Ready?"

Everyone took their poses, though Thorax added a bit of disgust to his disappointment. Twilight put on a scowl, and unlocked the door, disspelling the sound block. "You can come back in, now..."

Chapter the Thirty-Fourth: Maternal Instinct

After asking her mom to come fly with her for a bit, Scootaloo hadn't said much. She wasn't quite as fast as she usually flew, partially because of her sadness, partially because she was trying to come up with a way to start the conversation that wouldn't result in more shouting, and partially because her wing structure made her a remarkably fast flyer with little effort, and she didn't want to outfly her mom. She could probably even outpace Rainbow Dash if she tried, but just being enough to almost match was more than enough for her.

Speaking of, Rainbow Dash flew by about ten minutes into the flight, waving passively, as she was doing a synchronised formation practice with Soarin and three other Wonderbolts, one of which was a cadet. Rainbow was at the left flank of the formation, keeping an eye on the others to be better able to critique them at the end so they could improve.

Scootaloo considered asking Rainbow for help, but as she seemed busy, she just let her go on.

"She seemed friendly," commented Mane. "Is she a friend of yours?"

"She's practically family," sighed Scootaloo absently. "And if anything happened to me, she's the one we selected to take care of the kids."

"Because Spike can't be trusted?"

"Mother..." Scootaloo stopped and glared at her. "Why are you being so mean to him? What has he ever done to you that makes you think it's okay to infer that he's a bad parent?"

"You're the one who said he wasn't going to be taking care of the kids," she shrugged.

Scootaloo rubbed her claws over her face. "If something should happen to me or Spike, she's going to step in. If something happens to both of us, she's our first pick for making sure they all grow up happy and healthy."

"Why not your parents?"

"Because you don't know the kids like she does!"

"I'm still their grandmother."

"Name them." Scootaloo folded her claws. "What are the names of your grandchildren? You've met them a few times already. Start with my son. What's his name?"

"Cudger."

"Cudgel. Do you know why?"

"I assume it sounded pretty at the time?"

"It's because the dragons that took me in when I had nowhere to live were named Scepter and Mace. For ten years, they opened their home to us. I sent you pictures, mother! He was named after them as a show of gratitude." She sighed. "What about the next one?"

"Rainbow Something."

"Slash. She was named for her godmother, the very same pony who just flew by. She was there to support me when I needed it, and with her permission and in her honour, I named the middle child after her."

"The last one is Barb, I know that."

"Good. At least you remember one of them."

"Who was she named after?"

Scootaloo snorted a small jet of flame from her nostrils. "She is named after her father," she answered through her teeth.

"Why are you so angry?"

Scootaloo took a deep breath and sat down on a cloud. "Mother, since you came to Ponyville, there have been two things that I wanted more than anything. First was to sleep off a hangover, which I did eventually manage, and second was for you and dad to like my husband. At this point, I'd tolerate just being okay with him, but all you're doing is looking for any reason not to trust him."

"I'm not looking for reasons, I just keep finding them."

"In a closed box hidden under my bed, mother? In a place I wanted to keep out of sight? A place specifically chosen to make sure they stayed hidden while you tried to set me up with somepony else?"

"Somepony who bolted at the first sign of trouble," scoffed Mane. "What a coward he turned out to be..."

"That's because Ponyville is a nice place. If you don't cause problems, there aren't a lot of problems to deal with. Before I left, my whole reason for existing was to make the town of Ponyville a nicer place to be. That was always a key part of my need to be here in Ponyville, and my need to return. When I was gone, everypony worked really hard to make up for that, and nopony worked harder than Spike. Solving problems and making this a happy place are core tenets of what makes Ponyville great. All I want now is to live a happy life, making Ponyville a nice place to live, with all of my family being happy for me. Why can't you be happy for me?"

"We are happy for you, Scootaloo." Mane rubbed her shoulder. "We love you, and we want you to be happy. But Spike--"

"Wants me to be happy. He makes me happy. You may have noticed, we flew up here, mother."

"Of course we did, sweetie," smiled Mane.

"How do you think I managed that?"

"With your wings, of course."

"Right. Do you think I could have flown up here if I was a pegasus?"

"Easily. When you were born, you had very big wings."

"And they didn't grow through my entire life. When I was twelve, I had the tiniest, most malformed wings in Ponyville. Maybe even Equestria. I couldn't fly."

"Yes, but the doctors said that you may yet fly one day. There was a likelihood."

"A low one, and it was looking more bleak by the day. There was always a chance, but it was dying with each passing dawn. Then one day, just being referred to as a "cripple" hit me harder than it ever had before. Spike made me feel better, and the very next day, he gave me wings. It was the kindest, most generous thing anyone had ever done for me."

"Aside from your aunts buying a house in Ponyville so you could live here?"

"Close second." Scootaloo looked up into the sky. "Flying was something I'd always wanted to do. I wanted to be a magnificent flying ace, but now, I'm content to just be good at it. I like flying, mother, and if Spike never gave me dragon wings, I'd be stuck to the ground, still dreaming that I'd one day find that joy. I want to hold onto that happiness. Will you be the one responsible for taking it away?"

Chapter the Thirty-Fifth: Fatherly Protection

"You still missed a few," called Snap. "There are still books on this table."

"I am aware," said Spike, placing a stack of books on the cart that didn't quite fit. There were a lot of books that needed to be returned to their shelves, now that the shelves were properly organized, and Spike had already overloaded the return cart twice today. What would normally be five trips, he'd made four, with only half a cart or so remaining after this third run. "I'll come back for them."

Spike had organised the books on the table before loading them up onto the cart, something he regularly had help from Twilight for. She'd have them organized the night before and stacked up, and all he had to do was return them to their shelves. After all, Twilight was better at it, and her magic specialized in organisation. Twilight could, and had, done this just for fun. But right now, Spike had to prove himself, and Twilight was going to let him do what he needed to in order to be impressive.

But it wasn't working. Even if Spike was working harder and more efficiently at a task that was usually done by now with help, Snap wasn't having it. Then again, Spike could have guessed this. Having never been a librarian, Snap was ill-suited to be amazed with how smoothly and soundly Spike was working. Based on his arrival in Ponyville ten years ago, Spike would have to wrestle a cragodile. And unfortunately, Ponyville wasn't in crisis right now.

Thankfully, a crisis did arrive. Not a large-scale, city-destroying crisis. It was one guard hobbling in on three hooves. "Oh, thank Celestia you're here, Spike. I need your help."

"Gladly," answered Spike, puffing out his chest. "What do you need?"

"Oh, no," interjected Snap. "The princess gave him a job to do, and he has to finish up. But I can help you. What do you need?"

The guard turned her hoof forward, showing two puncture wounds. "I need to find out what kind of snake just bit me."

"Why did you come to the library?" Snap scowled. "Why didn't you go to a hospital?"

"I needed to find out what kind of snake it was!" she answered back. "If it's poisonous, I need to know what it was so they can give me the right antidote!"

"Venomous," corrected Snap. "The snake would have to be venomous, not poisonous. If the snake was poisonous, that means you would have to have bitten it, not it having bitten you. If it was a poisonous snake that bit you, you don't need any antivenom, just antiseptic and a bandage."

"No, I've seen what happens to ponies bitten by poisonous snakes. It turns bad quickly."

"If the snake is venomous, it can turn bad very quickly."

"What colour?" asked Spike, opening up a book.

"Black, with a red-orange underbelly."

Spike started flipping through the book.

"Sounds like the south Saddle Arabian king viper," answered Snap. "There's no cure for that bite."

As the mare began to turn pale, Spike turned the page. "They don't live anywhere near here, so unless you brought one in without declaring it at a customs office, we shouldn't have any." Spike looked up at Snap. "Did you bring a venomous snake into Equestria without permission?"

"Just what are you accusing me of?"

"Of what am I accusing you," corrected Spike, "and the answer is nothing. Just trying to figure out if the snake that bit her is one that lives on this continent." He turned to the guard. "How long was it? Twenty centimetres?"

"Twenty-five, more like."

"Collar around the neck?"

"Yeah?"

"dark brown collar?"

"no, it was bright red-orange."

Spike flipped to the next page. "Did it look like this?" He turned the book around and pointed to a picture.

"Yes! Exactly that!"

"Diadophis Punctatus Punctatus. Ring-necked snake. It's not very venomous. You'll be fine, just go see the royal physician."

"Okay. Thanks, Spike!"

As the guard left, Spike closed the book and set it on the table before resuming putting away the others.

"You know, you could have killed her if you picked the wrong snake," snarled Snap. "What made you so sure you had the right one?"

"It can't have been the Saddle Arabian king viper," answered Spike. "That's a seven-metre-long reptile that likes burrowing in warm sand. I looked for something local, then started asking further questions until I was sure, then had her confirm. Even if I'm wrong, the fact that I didn't see the snake means I'm not really liable. All I can say for certain is that she described what seemed to be a ring-necked snake, and those are decently common around here. She almost described the red-bellied snake, too, but that's why I asked another follow-up question. If I made the mistake, it was just as likely that anypony else would."

"But you're supposed to be an authority..."

"I'm trained as a librarian. I know how to organise, compile and locate information at a moment's notice. It's far more likely that she was bitten by something that lives nearby than something that would have to swim across the Sparkling Sea."

"But it could have been that red-bellied snake you mentioned." warned Snap. "What if you're wrong?"

Spike turned around. "If you're right, then she was just bitten by the smallest Saddle Arabian king viper to ever exist, and she's probably still safe, because it would have literally just hatched, and hasn't produced nearly enough venom to be deadly yet. If she lied to me and said the collar was a different colour than what it was, then she'll notice symptoms, and the first thing a doctor would do is check if there are similar-looking snakes nearby, and that doctor will find that red-bellied snakes also live nearby and are a close match."

"Well, maybe you're right about this, but you could be wrong about other things."

"Like Scootaloo?" Spike locked eyes with Snap.

"I didn't say that."

"You were thinking it."

Both were silent for a minute or two, just glaring at each other.

"Why are you bound and determined to make it seem like I'm a bad choice?"

"I'm just concerned that my daughter isn't living up to her full potential," answered Snap. "She has an adventurous spirit, and you have a humdrum job as a librarian's assistant. How can she reach any lofty goals if you're anchoring her to this place?"

Spike took a moment to breathe. He could argue that he wasn't holding her down, that he was trying to elevate her beyond what she could do alone, but to what end? Snap still wouldn't believe him, no matter what he said. He'd already made up his mind about Spike, and it had taken this long for Spike to realise that this argument would be unwinnable.

"Fine," he said. "You win. Consider your daughter to be released from my bonds."

Chapter the Thirty-Seventh: Reengaged

Snap moved deliberately through the streets until he came to Spike's place. All the lights were off, but he pounded on the door with his hoof, anyway. When no answer came, he pounded even harder.

"You know they have a doorbell, right?"

Snap turned around to see a young hippogriff sneering lightly at him. "Do you have a key?"

"No," she scoffed. "Why would I have a key? It's not my house..."

Snap grabbed the door handle and tried to twist it, but it was locked. He pounded again, rang twice, then pounded again.

"They're not home right now," the hippogriff said, returning to her gardening. "Scootaloo and the kids haven't been here in days. It's just Spike there, now, and he's not in."

"Where is he?"

"Probably still at the castle. He usually shows up ten minutes from now. I suggest you wait for him."

Snap sighed and approached her. "Do you spend a lot of time with them?"

"Not really. I just live next door. I used to spend some time with Spike, back when he was living alone, but I haven't really spoken to him outside of some passing platitudes since his family came back. Well, and the block party, but that's another story for another time."

"Are they good together?"

"Sure. I don't know how long they've been married, but they seem fine."

"They're not married."

The hippogriff looked up. "Seriously? I thought they were. They certainly act like they are."

"Do they?"

"Yeah. They behave like they've been happily married for years. Are they seriously not married yet?"

"Not yet," sighed Snap. "But they're going to be."

"Oh. I'm guessing you're helping to plan the wedding, then?"

"You could say that..."

Suddenly, the kitchen light clicked on. Spike had entered through the back door. He walked in, as could be seen through the archway, and grabbed a half-eaten plate of nachos from the fridge, placing it on the counter as he clicked on the oven with his tail.

"Excuse me," bowed Snap. "I have a wedding to plan."

As he pounded on the door again, Spike came to answer it. "We have a do-- oh."

"I need a word with you," growled Snap, pushing past Spike into the hallway.

"Sure, come in, I guess," shrugged Spike, closing the door. "I was just wondering if tonight was going to be quiet..."

Snap turned around and glared at Spike. "I have some questions for you, and you're going to answer them honestly. Do you understand?"

"Clearly."

Snap scowled. "Are you mocking me?"

Spike sighed. "Not at all. I'd like to change my answer to something more succinct, though: I understand your request unobsequiously."

Snap pouted. "My doctorate is not in literature or language arts. Speak Celestia's plain Ponish!"

"I understand exactly what it is you mean when you say you want me to answer honestly," groaned Spike, rolling his eyes.

"Good. What are your intentions for my daughter?"

"I had intended to marry her," answered Spike. "Now, I intend to find some way of making her and the kids happy without me being around."

"You don't intend to marry her anymore?"

"She values very highly the opinion of her parents. She's been seeking your approval since she was three years old. And you told her I was a terrible dragon, and that she shouldn't marry me. You told me the same."

"Do you still want to?"

"Of course. It's you that doesn't want that."

Snap was silent for a moment. Upon hearing the oven sound off, Spike retreated to reheat his nachos, then returned to the hallway.

"Was there something else you wanted to ask?"

"Show me the ring."

Spike pursed his lips. "That's not a question."

"Just do it."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"I don't have it."

Snap scowled deeply. "You didn't even buy a ring?! Not even a simple one?!"

"I had one made," answered Spike calmly. "It was a custom job."

"Then show me!"

"I can't!"

"Why not?!"

"Because Scootaloo took it with her when she left!"

They were both silent for a moment, just staring at each other.

"She probably still has it," shrugged Spike. "I had it made to represent the family we wanted. If she still has it, and she probably does, the only think I can see being changed about it is a missing amethyst. The big one in the half-round. The rest would be too precious."

"Amethyst?" Snap turned up his nose. "What kind of engagement ring has amethysts?"

"The one I designed," answered Spike.

"Yeah, but it's supposed to be a diamond. It's supposed to make her feel beautiful."

"That's nonsense," waved Spike. "All the ring does is cover up the natural beauty that is her claw. It's meant to represent more than that, but what it means and what it does are two different things."

With a snort, Snap grabbed Spike by the wrist. "Come with me."

"One moment..." Spike pulled away and returned to the kitchen, pulling his nachos out of the oven, placing them on a stand under a cloche and turning the oven off. "Okay, lead the way."

Snap grabbed Spike's arm, holding him tightly as he dragged him through Ponyville to Holiday and Lofty's home. It was there that he pulled Spike down to the ground, kicking the back of his knee to force him to kneel. "You're going to ask her again. Properly this time." He rang the doorbell.

Lofty was the one who answered. "What in Tartauros?!"

"Bring Scootaloo down," said Snap. "Your favourite dragon wants a word with her."

Scootaloo appeared from the dining room, having not been upstairs. "What's going on?" she asked, confused.

"You're both going to make a decision," said Snap. "Now..."

With the strike of Snap's hoof against the back of his shoulder, Spike looked up at Scootaloo. He offered his claws, and she took them. His thumb ran over the ring twice, firmly wound around her claw. With little effort, he retrieved it, then held it up for her to see.

"Scootaloo, ever since the day we met, we've been on good terms. Occasionally, we have had our spats, but given time and effort, we have always come to forgive each other. Much like any relationship, we've grown together, each with the help of the other. You've always seen the good in me, and I in you. That is what love is, and I love you.

"But there's more to it than that. I feel that way about almost everypony in Ponyville. But with you, it's different. It's stronger. It's the kind of love that is uncompromising; unshakeable. With everypony else, any blow at the right place could topple the mountains and burn the bridges on the way down. But with you, an army of bloodthirsty Timberwolves couldn't shatter what we've made together.

"That's why I want you to have this ring. It represents my dream for our family, and it is my hope that you share this dream with me. While I would prefer not to make a spectacle of the event and force you to say "yes" just to keep onlookers from booing you, it is, in this circumstance, unavoidable. Regardless of what your aunts' neighbors think, regardless of what your dad thinks, I want to know what you think.

"When I asked you this before, you answered right away. With how long it has been since I last asked, I trust that you've thought it over and asked yourself if this is really the right choice.

"Scootaloo. Will you marry me?"

Scootaloo took the ring and fit it back onto her claw. "I would love to, Spike." She grabbed him by the jaw and pulled him up into a deep, passionate kiss.

"I told you it'd work," whispered Lofty to Holiday.

Chapter the Thirty-Eighth: Shrouded

With the wedding back on, Spike took his entire day off to rush around Ponyville and make sure everypony important was informed of the change in plans. Some of them already knew that the wedding wasn't really cancelled, as Lofty had told them to just act like it was. She and Spike had been working together to design a scenario of how bad Scootaloo's life would be if she was forced to abandon the marriage.

Scootaloo was let in on it, of course. Spike had told her first, then Lofty had made sure to let her know when they moved in. Half of Ponyville was happy to play along if it meant helping the couple out. After all, they were both beloved by the original citizens of the town back when it was a fifth the size.

When it came time to tell Apple Bloom, Applejack, Rarity and Fluttershy, he ran into Pharynx, who was slamming his body against the barn door.

"What are you doing?!" shouted Spike, grabbing him by the hooves. "Stop, Pharynx!"

"He's in there!" snarled Pharynx back. "That arsehole that poisoned Hemiptera, and now I'm going to show him just what happens when you mess with my hive!" He wrenched his hooves free and slammed into the door hard enough to crack it.

As he wound up again, Spike noted that Pharynx's left front leg was limp, and bleeding. That was the hoof he grabbed this time, prompting a deeply pained yelp from Pharynx.

"Let go!" he shouted, not pulling very hard to remove his leg. "Let me go!"

"Just talk to me," said Spike. "And let me bandage that arm before you break it beyond repair."

Pharynx looked back at the door, and even Spike could see a large yellow eye behind it. "If he flees--"

"I'll hunt him down myself and deliver him to you."

"Twilight said the same thing before we figured it out..." He snorted in frustration, then landed, not taking his eyes off the door. "Do what you must."

Spike began patching up his shoulder as best he could. He was no doctor, and Pharynx definitely needed one after this, but he could at least keep him from bleeding as much. "Now, what's going on?"

"You remember the changeling that turned into Rarity at your party?"

"Yeah?"

"Hemiptera. She's a florist back home. She gives flowers to changelings that will be interacting with ponies, and when the ponies enjoy the flowers, they give love to the changelings, who are fed, and can even bring some of that back to the hive. She's literally farming love."

"Right."

"She's also the one that dressed up as Fluttershy and sent Discord back home."

"Okay."

"When she left, she was fine. When she returned, she was under a chaos mind-control magic."

Spike swallowed. "So, that was..."

"Discord pulling another prank," finished Pharynx. "No one hurts my hive-mates..."

"And now he's hiding behind Applejack's barn door." Spike stood up. "One moment. Keep an eye on him, but stay here." He walked to the farmhouse and came back a few minutes with a compression wrap.

"He's still in there," said Pharynx. "I can see him."

"Not for long," said Spike. "Just wait."

After a brief pause, the doors flew open, and Big Mac came out, carrying a cardboard cutout of Discord.

"He wasn't in there?!" fumed Pharynx.

"Nope," answered Big Mac.

"But I saw him go in there! He was moving around!"

"Eeyup."

"He was in there at some point, but he disappeared."

"I'm going to find him," swore Pharynx. "Mark my words, I will find him!"

As he flew off, Spike returned to his task, going to Fluttershy's cottage. "It's Spike," he called, knocking on the door. "May I come in?"

"One moment!" called Rarity. After a few moments and some clattering, she returned with "Come in!"

Spike pushed the door open, but kept his head outside. "Are you decent, now?"

"Oh, I usually am, darling," smiled Rarity, her mane slightly matted. "We just had to make sure Scootaloo's dress was put away before you came in. Bad luck to see it before the wedding, you know."

"Is it?" asked Spike. "Who decided that?"

"Well..." Rarity shuffled her hooves. "That's a bit of a sore subject. Let's just call it tradition, hm?"

Spike shrugged. "I'll look it up later. It can go into Twilight's notices of historical facts. I promise, if you tell me, though, I won't be hurt by it."

Rarity took a deep breath. "Okay. You want to know? It dates back to when marriages were arranged far more commonly. You see, it was often the case that, when the groom would see the bride for the first time, he would think her to be plain, drab, or even ugly. If he saw her before the wedding, he could call it off. But if they were already married, divorce was almost unheard of."

"Wouldn't he see her at the altar during the ceremony?"

"Not if she's wearing a veil," answered Fluttershy, draping a thick cloth over her head.

"Well, Scootaloo isn't ugly at all," answered Spike. "I don't know if we want to cover her face with a veil. Surely, we can play into her natural beauty, can't we?"

"Well," thought Rarity, bringing her hoof up to her chin. "I was going to have her veil very billowy, as that's very in right now, but I think you're right. Maybe just a crown of flowers? Some horn wraps?"

"I'll let her decide," smiled Spike. "I just don't like the idea of covering up her face so that I can't see her."

"Now." Rarity clapped her hooves together. "On to the real reason we called you out here. Fluttershy?"

"Right."

As Fluttershy dashed into the kitchen, Rarity turned to Spike. "Now, I don't know if Fluttershy told you, but we were working on something for your wedding. We had intended for it to be your gift for the bachelor party, but it wasn't ready. With the big day approaching, it's high time we showed you what it is you're going to be wearing. We're also going to have you try it on to check the fit."

"Here it is!" smiled Fluttershy, pushing a covered mannequin forward. "Are you ready to see it?"

Spike nodded.

"And keep in mind, Spikey-wikey, that if something doesn't fit right, we can fix it." Rarity pulled back the curtain, revealing his suit. "Well, darling? What do you think?"

Spike had to pick his jaw up off the floor. "It's perfect..."

Chapter the Thirty-Ninth: The Last Night Apart, Together

All of Ponyville was in an uproar. As the last of the preparations fell into place, Dragon Lord Ember herself showed up with a royal entourage. While Thorax was a somewhat common sight in Ponyville, he and Twilight dressed up in full regalia was far less common.

Even to creatures that had nothing to do with it, this wedding was a big deal. While a lot of the core services of Ponyville were going to remain open for the day, others were shutting down. Sweet Apple Acres, for example, would be closing their gates to all but invited guests. Sugarcube Corner was closing down to cater the reception. Rarity's Carousel Boutique would even be closed on the day, as Yona was filling a special order and had to focus on making a new dress, and couldn't run the shop at the same time. She was still an apprentice, after all.

After the rehearsal, everyone went back home, rather than going out to eat. Spike could tell that Thorax wanted to give his speech, but the rest of them wanted to save that for the wedding itself, so the guests could hear it. It just wouldn't hit the same if only the wedding party were allowed to hear it. Twilight had promised to go over it again with him, though, if he wanted to practice.

"Are you nervous?" asked Scootaloo when she and Spike came upstairs. "It's okay if you are."

"A bit," nodded Spike. "This is a big change."

"It's a big change for me, too," assured Scootaloo. "I'm nervous. But there's something I use to fight it."

"Oh?"

Scootaloo pulled Spike in close and stared into the middle distance that was the window at the end of the hallway. "There I was, twenty metres in the air. The chill of the wind rippled across my skin. My heart was pounding in my chest. I didn't know if I could do it. Everything seemed to make sense, but I'd never even practiced this move. But it was time.

"Kicking off the back wall, I started careening down the ramp, keeping my mass tight and low, building up as much speed as I possibly could. The air whistled in my ears, the bugs splattered against my chest, and my tail whipped behind me.

"And then came the dip. The sudden shift in gravity threw me off-balance, and at the end of the ramp, I had turned ten degrees off course. My Scooter flew one way, and I flew the other. I ploughed face-first into the ground."

"That sounds terrifying!" gasped Spike. "How is that supposed to calm my nerves?"

"It isn't," answered Scootaloo. "It just provides context. What's actually supposed to calm you is this: I walked away from that crash. Aunty Lofty wouldn't let me even climb up the ramp without my helmet and pads, and Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom were close when they guessed where I would land and almost managed to drag the mattress over. I was okay, because the ponies I loved were there to protect me. And when we come back down from that altar, they're going to be right there by our side."

"That... Actually, yeah, that does make me feel better."

"We just had the rehearsal. You did well at the practice session. We're going to have an officiant guiding us through line-by-line. Our vows are written out on paper that we'll have, and can just read if you forget. Even then, if we mess up, we can just roll with it. No one's going to care that much if you forget a line. You could even forget my name, and blame it on stress or pressure to perform. Just do your best."

Spike shuffled in place. "Are you sure you won't be mad if I forget your name?"

"Oh, I'll be pissed. But I'll probably forgive you, eventually... That doesn't mean just do it, though."

"Well, I'll just have to come up with something else," smiled Spike, scooping her up. "Something to make this big day more memorable."

"Oh, stop," waved Scootaloo, wrapping her tail around his waist. "It'll be memorable enough with all of the work we put into it."

"Now," Spike closed the door with his tail, "what do we have here? A delicate, unwed dragoness in the prime of her youth?"

"And what's this? A big strong drake in gleaming scales, ready to ravish her all night long?"

"Maybe," answered Spike. "We really should find some time for sleep, though."

"We can sleep after," huffed Scootaloo, leaning in for a kiss. "Right now, I want you to take me."

"As you wish," smirked Spike, lowering her to the bed. He slid down her body, kissing her as he went, until his claws reached her curled-up toes.

"You're not going to mount me?" she asked.

"Consider that my reward for doing a good job at the ceremony," answered Spike before digging his tongue into her.

"An extra vow," breathed Scootaloo. "I like it..."

Spike said nothing, but smiled in response. His mouth was better utilized in another task, and he was going to ensure that it was done properly. From the fork in his tongue pressing against her clitoris to his claws pushing her legs back and apart for deeper, wider access, he buried his snout between her thighs.

When she was done, he gave her a second climax with his claws before curling up around her. She could feel him throbbing against her thigh with every fifth pound of her heart in her chest, but she was content to just leave it as it lay. If Spike wanted to wait until he'd done the ceremony proper, she'd support him. If having something to look forward to would remind him to ensure that he did it right, then she would oblige him. In the meantime, she drifted off to sleep. She was ready for her big day.

But Spike was still nervous. He'd wanted to exude an air of confidence, as a show to Scootaloo that he was ready, but in truth, he was terrified. This was, without a doubt, a big step, and any small stumble could see him messing up everything they'd worked toward. If everything was about to change, and it inevitably would, what if that change only made things worse? After all, if everything was already perfect, wouldn't a big change make it worse?

He pulled Scootaloo close to his chest. He'd lost her before, and he almost had a second time. He didn't know if he could handle a third.

Chapter the Fortieth: Finality

When Scootaloo awoke, she was cold. Spike wasn't in bed behind her. She even rolled over to check. He was nowhere to be found.

She rolled out of bed and took a deep breath. Today was her wedding day, and her husband was missing. Twilight knew what day it was, so she definitely wouldn't have scheduled him to work today, or for the next few days as they enjoyed their honeymoon.

They hadn't even talked about their honeymoon yet. Twilight had brought it up in terms of scheduled time off, but Spike had opted to focus on making sure the wedding went smoothly. All he'd said about the honeymoon was that they'd be spending time together, and that was enough for him to be happy.

Well, no matter. She moved over to the bathroom and started up a shower. She had to make sure she was clean before slipping into the dress. However, a few moments into her scale scrub, the doorbell rang. She continued scrubbing for a bit, but then it rang again. Wherever Spike was, he wasn't in the house, and that was worrisome.

She rushed through the rest of her shower, tossed a towel around herself, and came downstairs as the doorbell rang out a third time. "I'm coming, I'm coming!" she shouted, yanking the door open.

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle were waiting for her. "Y'all almost ready to go?" asked Apple Bloom. "We need ya down at the farmhouse ta fitchya inta yer dress!"

"I was in the middle of my shower," answered Scootaloo.

"Hurry up!" urged Sweetie Belle. "We'll wake up the girls, and they can have breakfast while we do up our manes."

"I don't have a mane," answered Scootaloo, running her claws back along her spines.

"Go finish your shower!" repeated Sweetie Belle. "We need to go!"

Scootaloo rushed upstairs and finished her shower while Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle woke Rainbow Slash and Barb. There wasn't a lot left to do, as she'd scrubbed most of her body clean, but had left a few sections undone, as she'd not had time to scrub between her toes.

Fully clean and dried, she came out to the hall to find that her friends and daughters were waiting. "Where's Cudgel?"

"Prob'ly in the barn by now," ushered Apple Bloom, trying to push everyone toward the door. "He should'a been out of the shower by now."

"He's at Sweet Apple Acres?"

"Yeah! Let's go already!"

Scootaloo hurried everyone out the door. "I'll meet you there!" she called back as she immediately took to the sky after locking up. She flew in as straight a line as she could manage, as fast as her wings could take her, not slowing until she saw Spike and Cudgel standing in the barn door, coming to a stop next to them. "There you are!"

"Here we are," said Spike back.

"Why didn't you tell me you were coming out here early?"

"I left a note," answered Spike. "It was right there next to your plate of latkes."

"What latkes?"

Spike looked back at her. "I was having trouble sleeping, so I made you breakfast. Cudgel had a nightmare, so he ate with me, and then I left breakfast for you and the girls in the kitchen while we came out here for an early start. Have you not eaten yet?"

"Can't have that, can we?" said Applejack, coming out of the barn.

"Nope," answered Big Mac.

"Come on, let's stuff ya full a' fritters."

The next half hour passed rather quickly as Scootaloo ate and her daughters used the shower. Fluttershy had arrived to help with the mane styling while Rarity was out in the barn helping Spike and Cudgel dress up for their parts.

"Now, we have to have all of you dressed up properly," said Pinkie, going over her party plan. "Scootaloo is the most important, obviously, but she's also going to be the last one to show up. The first two to go out will be Slash and Barb, so they have to be in their dresses first. After that, we have a small amount of wiggle room, and we all know how much I love to wiggle. I should put a wiggle room in my house. A place where you go just to wiggle."

"That's ridiculous, Pinkie," snorted Applejack.

"Is it?" asked Pinkie. "I guess it is. I already have two of those, anyway..."

Applejack rolled her eyes.

"Anyway, once they spread the flowers down the aisle, Spike's groomsponies take their places. That is, Big Macintosh, Shining Armor, Princess Twilight Sparkle, and finally, the best bug, King Thorax. Once they take their places, Spike walks down the aisle, alone, as he's opted to have Twilight standing next to him, rather than sitting in the front row.

"That's when we start. Sweetie Belle, you're first, then Apple Bloom, then Rainbow Dash." She looked around. "Is Rainbow Dash here yet?"

"Not coming," said a voice from the front door. Two mares in Wonderbolt gear had just walked in. "Thee thent uth to take her plathe."

"She did what?!" fumed Applejack. "Whadda ya mean, "not coming?!" She's the mare a' honour!!"

"Yeah, she was pretty pissed off when she heard the news this morning," answered Spitfire. "You've never heard such a tantrum."

"I think halfway through, her thwearing turned into gibberith," huffed Fleetfoot. "Thee thaid thee'll be back ath thoon ath thee can, and that if we meth up your thpethal day, that thee'll kick our atheth."

"Ah'll kick hers if she ain't here by the time the vows are done!" shouted Applejack. "Why didn't y'all handle it so she could be here?"

"We don't control the cutie map," shrugged Spitfire. "It wanted her and Soarin. And Soarin's not even involved with it."

"It'll be okay," assured Scootaloo, though her voice betrayed her fear. "She'll be here. She'll make it back in time. Rainbow Dash always does the right thing, right?"

Pinkie placed her hoof on Scootaloo's shoulder. "Of course she does. She'll be back in time to put on her dress and greet you at the altar."

When even Pinkie sounded unsure, it didn't bode well for the wedding. Still, Scootaloo tried to stay positive. At least this was the only problem they would have... Right?

Chapter the Forty-First: Opening Ceremony

"Is everyone ready?" asked Thorax. "It's almost time."

Spike looked around the room. He and Cudgel were wearing the same suit. Big Mac was wearing a black and white tuxedo, the most basic wear in the room. Shining Armor was wearing a blouse and jacket befitting a prince of Equestria. Finally, Thorax was in his royal gear, looking very kingly. The only member of his half of the wedding party that wasn't here was Twilight, and she was in the farmhouse with all of the other girls. It was better that she dress away from wandering eyes, especially if her brother was in the room.

"How do you feel?" asked Spike, putting a claw on Cudgel's shoulder.

"Scared," admitted Cudgel. "What if I mess up?"

"No one's going to be mad if you mess up," assured Spike. "Just walk to the front and step to the side, just like we rehearsed, okay?"

"There go the flower girls," announced Thorax. "Big Mac, Shining Armor, you're up."

Big Mac pushed the comb through his mane one more time before exiting the barn, keeping in step with Shining's pace.

Twilight came out next, wearing her golden gorget and tiara. Her dress was a pastel yellow and satin blue gown, bedazzled with small amethysts and trimmed with gold and silver stars. She was joined by Thorax at the end of the aisle, bowing to each other before walking up to the altar. Thorax wore no crown, as his horns served to emulate one, but he had covered them in trumpet honeysuckle and fuchsia. Over a simple red jacket, he wore a stunning purple cape embroidered with a lilac print and trimmed with faux lavender petals.

"A little overdressed, aren't we?" whispered Twilight.

"A little," whispered Thorax back. "But until this stigma disappears, this is the closest I'll come to the altar with you. I wanted to show you how well I clean up."

"You do, that," chuckled Twilight. "Just try to remember who's most important today, would you?"

They reached the end of the aisle, and Spike stepped out of the barn in time with the music. He was all dressed up in the outfit Rarity had made for him. His ensemble started with a pair of light brown boots with silver wingtips. That was the one change he's asked Rarity to make to his outfit, as this had all started with Scootaloo's wings. Going up, he wore a pair of black breeches with a green outer seam. Above the dark purple sash, a white shirt peeked through, but was swiftly covered up by the main piece of his garb; the jacket.

Rarity had really outdone herself with this design. It had started as an embroidered dark green satin tailcoat with black epaulettes. Atop the epaulettes were six embroidered chevrons and a star with six points, done up in purple thread. The sides, back and sleeves had been embroidered entirely in running stitches, arranged in a floral pattern Spike had not recognised, but didn't question because it was just beautiful. The cuffs, waistband and collar were puffed up and looked to be some sort of gambeson, with the outermost layers being silk. Down the front of the jacket were two sheets of black satin with intermittent brass buttons. Running horizontally across the chest were six straps of unknown material, likely something Rarity had brought from abroad, coming together in black metal clasps. Finally, over his heart was a golden badge with a chain to match, with the inscription reading "Maximo Optimo, Amicus Omnibus."

After taking his place, Spike watched as Cudgel came up the aisle. He had no badge, but he carried a small round pillow with two rings. One was the ring he had given to Scootaloo, as he would be presenting it for the third time. The second was a simple silver band, which she would be presenting to him.

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle came next. They were both wearing the same gown, a simple yet elegant affair, with a corset running into a puffy skirt with pleats. Separate from the rest of the dress were the sleeves, smooth and shiny, and a little bit billowy. Sweetie Belle's dress was a pastel violet, where Apple Bloom's was peach.

Next would have been Rainbow Dash. Her outfit would have been her Wonderbolts jumpsuit, sans the headgear, with a rainbow cloak draped over it. The cloak was lined with white faux fur with black tips, and a crown of flowers would sit on her head.

But since she wasn't here, Spitfire and Fleetfoot walked up together, instead. They just wore their jumpsuits, with their hoods up and goggles on.

As soon as they took their places, the string quartet drew to a close on their first march. Everypony stood up and turned around, and Spike had his first look at Scootaloo in her wedding dress.

It was big, first of all. Spike had not expected something quite so large. Still, it was beautiful. Having her father walking next to her, Spike could tell that the ball gown was very soft and mostly full of air, so it wasn't heavy. Like the dresses the bridesmaids wore, the skirt was pleated, but rather than being boxed like theirs, Scootaloo's was gathered, giving it a softer appearance. Around her waist, she wore a thin, pastel green sash. At the top of her shoulders, cutting down into her bust, a pouf of chiffon banded around the top of the dress like a collar. Much like her friends, her sleeves were not connected to the dress, but instead, the gloves.

Rarity had taken Spike's advice to heart, and had skipped the veil. Tiny flowers, as white as her dress and gloves, wrapped around her horns, culminating in a big orange tiger lily at the base of the left one. These flowers made up for the lack thereof in her bouquet, which was filled with aromatic herbs, much to her mother's dismay.

That feeling was not shared by the crowd, however, who were all quite taken with the pleasing scents of sage and rosemary permeating the air as she walked to the altar. She did stumble twice, but her dad was there to catch her both times until she was standing in front of Spike, both smiling to see each other again as the second march came to a close.

"Everything alright?" asked Spike, whispering to her.

"I think something ended up in my shoe," answered Scootaloo as her parents and aunts ceased following her and moved to their seats in the front row. "I'll be fine to stand, just, hold my claw as we leave, would you?"

Chapter the Forty-Second: The Vows

As the band fell silent, Smolder, who had been standing at the altar the whole time, raised her claws. "Everyone, take your seats!"

Everyone sat down with the exception of the wedding party and a few of the ponies running the event. Spike could see that Pinkie Pie was bouncing around the farmhouse though the window, and the Cakes and Applejack were in the kitchen. Ember was slow to sit, as were some of the other dragons she'd brought with her, and Garble had to be told a second time to sit down. Dragon weddings were not like this.

Smolder pulled up a small booklet that she'd brought with her and flipped it open. "Fillies and gentlecolts... and other non-pony races, we gather here today to witness the union of groom's name and bride's name."

There was a murmur from the assorted guests, and a bit of sniggering from the crowd.

Rather than continue reading, Smolder closed the book. "You know what? This book needs updating before we use it again. It's not fit for our situation."

As she set the book aside, Twilight grabbed it and a pen, and started scribbling. It wasn't the original, just a copy she'd made, so if there was to be a revision, this was a good template.

Smolder clapped her claws. "Anyway, we all know why we're here. Spike and Scootaloo have loved each other for a long time. They've built a home, built a family, and now, we're here to wed them to each other. By dragon standards, they're already married, but I guess ponies have a whole ceremony for it."

Twilight unbound the booklet and gave the first part, now revised, back to Smolder.

"If, for any reason, someone here believes these two should not be wed, speak now, or forever hold your peace," she read. "That line seems kind of strange, doesn't it? First of all, if someone didn't want to see them together, why would they come to the wedding? To stop it from happening? Kind of bleak, if you ask me... If they wanted to object, tell them before they spend all this time and effort putting it together. This would be the worst time for it." She sighed. "Okay, then. If anypony wants to ruin this whole thing, just belt it out now."

The crowd was deathly silent. Everyone from the ponies to the dragons, and even the birds were afraid to make a single chirp for fear of destroying all of the hard work being presented to them. If Equestrian, changeling and dragon royalty were supporting this union, no one wanted to be the one arsehole that openly opposed all three of them.

"Excellent," nodded Smolder as Twilight gave her the rest of the book, tossing a lot of the unused pages aside for later revision when she had time. "Now, the couple has decided to write their own vows, which is good because the one in the book sounds a mess. Spike, you're first."

Spike squeezed Scootaloo's claws. He'd written his vows with Twilight, and she'd made him redo them twice, and she had made him practice three times a day for the past week, even when he wasn't working. He turned to wave Cudgel up.

"Scootaloo, when I saw you crying on that park bench, I was instantly stricken with the desire to make everything alright. All I wanted in that moment was to help you find your smile again. To that end, I postponed the task I was supposed to be doing just to make sure you'd be okay. Since then, that has been my prerogative; to ensure that you are well, both physically and emotionally.

"On this day, my promise to you is that, for the rest of our time together, I will be by your side. If not physically, I will be there in spirit. I will be holding you aloft when your weather license comes in. I will be keeping you strong when the kids go off to college. When they start lives of their own, I will be right there beside you. Nevermore will you be lonely or defenseless, for I will be on your guard until the world itself is torn apart. This I swear, on my honour as a dragon."

A small scattering of applause rang out through the crowd As Spike slid the ring onto Scootaloo's claw, but it wasn't very much. Most of the reaction came from Twilight, who had to dab at her eyes with a hoofkerchief, which she stole from Thorax's pocket.

All Smolder had to do was look at Scootaloo, and she was ready to begin. She had taken some advice from Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle, and it was her aunts that helped her memorize it.

"Spike, when I was at my lowest point, you brought light to my heart. You gave me a reason to keep going forward, and wings to reach my highest of goals. I was so scared when I saw these gifts, because I thought I was taking away from you something that I wanted, and that I'd deprived you of your own joy.

"Something I've heard from everypony here in town is "That's just the way Spike is. He's a kind, generous, loyal and honest dragon, who spreads laughter among his friends." I have found this to be true beyond any shadow of a doubt. Spike, you are a credit to dragonkind, and to ponykind.

"It is for these reasons that I want to return the favour. You have made me the happiest dragoness in the world, and I promise that a happy drake is what you shall be. I vow to be a joy in your life, even when you've given yourself wholly to everypony you care for. I give to you myself, wholly, in hopes that I can be even a fraction of what you deserve for all you do."

Holiday blew her nose in Lofty's hoofkerchief, having been brought to tears halfway through. As Scootaloo took the ring from Cudgel's pillow, he sat back down, letting the crowd see the ring fit onto Spike's claw for the first time.

"Now then," Smolder checked the notes Twilight had written, and then, grabbing the sashes worn by the couple and draping them first over the other's shoulders, placed the ends in their claws. "It is in the tying of this sash that we show the bonds that have already formed. Honestly, the fact that you each insisted separately that your sash match the eyes of your significant other was a bold step, but sure, let's tie the knot."

Spike took the ends closer to the crowd and bound them in a double fisherman's bend. Scootaloo took the ends in front of Smolder and tied them together in a Flemish bend.

"Let the strength of these knots represent the strength of your commitment for each other," noted Smolder. "Finally, by the power vested in my temporarily by Princess Twilight, representing the legal council of Equestria, I now proclaim you to be husband and wife."

Scottaloo jumped forward into Spike's arms, and Spike picked her up, passionately kissing each other as the crowd cheered.

"I mean, sure, you can kiss her," shrugged Smolder. "I was about to tell you to do that, anyway."

Chapter the Forty-Third: The First Dance

As the quartet began to play, Spike escorted Scootaloo down the steps. She'd forgotten that there was something stuck in her shoe, and stumbled a bit, but he caught her before she could fall, and to prevent further incident, he picked her up and held her in his claws, to an uproarious approval from the guests.

"We're going to want to fix that before our first dance," said Spike quietly, just loud enough for Scootaloo to hear him over the din.

"Dance?" Scootaloo shrank a bit. "I haven't danced since I was a pony, and never with a partner."

"Don't worry," smiled Spike, pressing his forehead to hers. "Just put your feet on top of mine, and I'll do the rest."

"You dance?"

Spike chuckled. "Twilight's had me attend more than a few balls and galas. I had to learn at least three."

"I should probably kick the shoes off entirely, then," smiled Scootaloo.

As they receded down the aisle, they were showered with dried petals of roses, lavender and marigold. Before they could reach the end of the aisle, though, a gust of wind suddenly rushed through the orchard, and with a loud crack, an explosion of colour permeated the sky above them, leaving a trail of rainbow light streaming from its epicenter.

Rainbow Slash's eyes widened to the size of dinnerplates. She'd never seen anything like this before.

The rainbow stopped at the ground as Rainbow Dash skidded to a stop. "Did I make it in time?" she asked, panting. She was covered in slime and thorns.

"Ya missed the whole dang thing!" shouted Applejack, running up to her from the house. "Kitchen! Now!"

As Rainbow Dash walked off with Applejack, Scootaloo sighed. "Kind of disappointing that she wasn't here..."

"She's here now," comforted Spike. "And she gave us a Sonic Rainboom. Second wedding ever to have one of those."

They proceeded to the barn, which had been fixed up to act as the main hall. While the boys had all dressed themselves in there, they had done so in a small section that Pinkie had set up for them last night and taken down during the ceremony. All of their belongings that had been left behind had been moved into the house for safekeeping.

Spike sat Scootaloo down at the long table at the back of the barn, which was sitting on an elevated platform. There were enough seats at that table for the wedding party, plus three more. While Ember was a guest, she was still royalty, and had been afforded a seat at the main table.

As the guests filed in, Spike bent down to remove Scootaloo's shoes, and found that two bits had been stuck in her left shoe. He swiftly pocketed them, and took his seat while he waited for everypony else to do the same.

The quartet came in last, setting up in one of the corners where a couple of stools were waiting for them, along with an upright piano and a drum kit. While a piano was a string instrument, it was very odd that they would have a drum kit. Even if it could be presumed that the Apple family owned the piano, it was unlikely that they kept a drum kit lying around. That was more Pinkie's schtick.

Scootaloo, now barefoot, walked out to the middle of the floor with Spike leading her. They were still tied together by their sashes, and a quick tug on both ends of Spike's knot pulled their bodies close together and held them there. Scootaloo stepped up onto the toes of Spike's boots, wrapping her claws around his shoulders and holding on tight.

With a nod from Spike, the quartet counted in and started to play the waltz he'd requested. To the rest of the guests, it looked like they were dancing together, but Spike was the one who knew what he was doing. Not only was this their first waltz as a couple, but it was also Scootaloo's first waltz ever.

After a moment, Scootaloo rested her head on Spike's shoulder. She had felt his skill on the dance floor, and was confident that he would continue to dance with her, whether she knew what she was doing or not. And given that this dance felt entirely unfamiliar to her, she knew for a fact that Spike knew better than she did, and was perfectly content to follow his lead.

As the piece came to an end, they kissed once more, then separated, with Rarity taking off their sash and moving it to their table as Twilight and Snap stepped into the dance floor. Scootaloo would dance with her father as best she could, and Spike and the closest thing he had to a mother would try not to show them up with their clearly superior dancing prowess.

Thankfully for Scootaloo, it was another waltz, though a bit quicker than the last. She had at least some inkling of what to do, and her father knew the most basic steps.

"I'm so proud of you, Spike," whispered Twilight. "I know I'm not your birth mother, but I feel every ounce of pride one could, seeing her son starting a new chapter of his life."

Spike, hugged Twilight a bit closer. "Even if you aren't my birth mother, you were the closest thing to a mother I have, and that makes you even more special to me. I love you, "mom.""

"Love you too, "son.""

The dance ended all too soon, and it was time for the third. Spike was to dance with Mane, but since he had no father figure to dance with, Scootaloo stepped back, until Thorax approached her. "I know I don't quite fit the bill, but would you allow me to fill in? I can shape myself into Spike, if it would make you more comfortable."

"I'd be delighted," smiled Scootaloo, taking his hoof. "And you can stay as you are."

As the third waltz began, Mane looked up at Spike.

"Thank you for letting this happen," smiled Spike, taking the lead. "I appreciate the vote of confidence."

"Oh, I still think this is a mistake," replied Mane. "But you proved to Lofty that she was wrong. I'm banking on a repeat of that performance. I give you a year at most. Prove me wrong, and I'll give you some of that confidence you're seeking."

Spike was quiet for the rest of the dance. When he returned to the table, he told Scootaloo what her mother had said to him, and to his surprise, she smiled.

"My dad told me he'd help me through the divorce three months from now. I think they're still against us."

Spike rolled his eyes. "At least they didn't interrupt the ceremony..."

Chapter the Forty-Fourth: The Feast

There was a brief interlude after the first dances where everypony just sat at the tables, just talking to each other. Rainbow Dash had just come back from a quick shower, and had skipped dressing up any further, as the Wonderbolt's jumpsuit was the centerpiece of her ensemble, and it was sticky and a little bit torn. She and Applejack were pushing long trolleys into the room that would act as buffet tables, and when they finished, everypony could dig in.

The very last thing to come in took both mares to move, as it was covered by a sheet and rather tall. It was set in an area separate from the rest, and then off came the cover. The crowd was in awe of the reveal, as was the wedding party. Pinkie and the Cakes had worked together to make this on their own, as a surprise.

The wedding cake was five tiers tall, decorated with rice paper lace acting as ribbons. There was piped-on filigree that read "Spike and Scootaloo, Together Forever" on the bottom two layers. Fondant and gum paste flowers covered any imperfections, adding a splash of orange or purple wherever they went. At the very top, some hoof-formed sugar sculptures stood, showing Spike and Scootaloo. Sadly, their outfits were just a standard wedding dress and tuxedo, meaning they didn't quite match up with what they were really wearing, but that was a very minor gripe.

The lead table went first, and then every table after that went in numerical order. The kids weren't at the head table, as they'd opted to sit with their friends, instead. As a result, they'd be served by the ponies right in front of them in line, with those ponies being Scootaloo's aunts.

Once everypony had been served, and the main table had just finished, Thorax and Twilight stood up, ringing their glasses with forks to draw everypony's attention. "Good day, everyone," started Twilight.

"Great day, actually," continued Thorax. "Today was truly fantastic; let's hear a round of applause for the happy couple, huh?"

The crowd of ponies stomped their hooves against the ground in approval.

"Yes, it's great to see them finally married after all the trials and tribulations that led them here. We're not going to be the first to wish you many years of wedded bliss, but we're content to wish it on you now, regardless."

As another round of applause rang out, Thorax pulled a selection of cards from his pocket. It was time for his speech.

"In our wishes for the both of you, I'd like to start with Spike. When nopony else would help me, when the Crystal Empire was calling for my head..."

Shining Armor shrank down in his seat.

"I thought I was going to be slaughtered. Without you there to speak in my defense, I never would have survived long enough to go back to my hive. And if I hadn't done that, it would still be a threat to Equestria.

"That kind of love; the kind that can forge peace and harmony in the midst of a sea of hatred, is a powerful thing. As a changeling, everypony here knows that I can detect love and feed off of it. So you know I can say with certainty how powerful the love in this room is. And while this love is fresh, young, and not yet fully matured, it's clear to me that it's growing stronger every day.

"That's not to say that it's too young. Consider, if you will, that the two of you spent ten years separated from each other. For most couples I've seen, this would result in your growing apart, but you've stayed loyal to each other, even in the face of adversity."

Twilight took his cards next. "Scootaloo, though we have been apart for most of these last ten years, I have kept track of your progress as you went from being just a filly to an adult dragoness. At every turn, your thoughts went to your family. From just focusing on the kids to coming back to be with Spike, your sense of duty is truly something to behold.

"The effort you placed into joining the cultures of dragons and ponies is another thing that should not go unnoticed. You've never given up on the task set before you, a trait that is most admirable. That's how I knew that, once you'd decided you were going to be married, I should help you make it happen. Now that the two of you are as one, there's nothing you can't accomplish together."

Thorax took her hoof, and they spoke the rest of the speech together. "The two of you stand as a testament to what can be done with loyalty and tenacity," started Thorax.

"With your love fueling your choices, there is little that can overcome you."

"Standing side-by-side, you are an immovable object."

"Claw-in-claw, you are an unstoppable force."

"May you be as such now and forever."

"In poverty or wealth."

"In sickness or health."

"Through the good times and the bad,"

"The happy times and the sad."

"Fighting off every tragedy that comes your way."

"This is how it shall be to your dying day."

They looked at each other and said the last line in unison. "May this union last an eternity."

A thunderous uproar reminded them that there was a crowd watching, as in practising this speech, they always ended up a little too into it, especially at the end. They usually ended this speech with a kiss, but here and now were neither the place nor the time.

Pinkie Pie popped in just then, whispering something to the string quartet, to which they nodded and stopped playing. "Alright, everypony, time to cut the cake! And then we can start the party for real!"

Spike and Scootaloo stood up once more and walked over to where the cake was being kept. Before they would cut into it, though, Spike waved Pinkie over.

"Do I have to smash the cake in her face?" he whispered. "Can't I just feed it to her?"

"Sure," answered Pinkie. "I think cake is better used to fill a belly than to cover a face. Do you mind if I mash my face into my own slice, though?"

Scootaloo chuckled. "Go ahead. Just let us cut it first..."

Scootaloo wrapped her claw around the knife handle, and Spike wrapped his claw around hers. Together, they plunged the knife into the cake, pulling it apart to reveal a yellow cake with strawberry jam in the middle. They cut two pieces; one for each of them, and fed each other a forkful. As they bit down, an upright bass thrummed out a few notes, was joined by a piano and some drums, and just as Scootaloo turned to look at the band that had replaced the string quartet, a saxophone belted out a jazzy tune.

Chapter the Forty-Fifth: Warm Reception

Alto trumpeted out a smooth, warbling tune, letting it wash over the crowd slowly. "That's him," whispered Scootaloo to Spike. "Still feeling jealous?"

"Moreso," whispered Spike back. "He's smooth."

Scootaloo chuckled. "Come on, let's go back to the table."

As Pinkie chopped up the rest of the cake, preserving the toppers in case the couple wanted them, Rainbow Dash moved a table full of presents over near the main table. "Okay, Pinkie Pie wants your guests to deliver your gifts themselves, to make it more personal," she explained. "That way, they can offer you your congratulations at the same time, giving you a more in-depth discussion. It'll also hold them accountable for their gifts, so if the same thing that happened at Spike's Bachelor Party happens here, we can immediately know who wasn't paying attention."

First to come up were the Cakes, and Spike already knew what they'd given him. Scootaloo was a bit shocked, at first, that Spike could guess it without looking, but then she remembered that there was an attachment that they'd given him for his Bachelor Party. It was a pretty sweet stand mixer, either way.

Twilight and Thorax had thought about it a bit harder than they had the first time, and while it was still two books that they received, this was a scrapbook of all the pictures Spike and Scootaloo had been together for, along with a second one that was blank. "For all the memories you've made together," smiled Twilight.

"And for all the memories you're about to make," finished Thorax.

Applejack and Big Mac didn't bring a gift, as their donation was in the form of shutting down the farm and opening their home for the day, free of charge. Rainbow had, of course, gifted a Sonic Rainboom. Pinkie had paid for the cake, and Rarity and Fluttershy had made the outfits, giving their gifts before the wedding.

Shining Armor apologised for Cadance's Absence, as well as Flurry Heart's, but royal duties came first, and Spike understood that. They had, at least, sent their love in the form of several jewels, to be enjoyed at the family's leisure, though Scootaloo was pretty intent on keeping some of them.

There were several gifts that were just decorations, which were very welcome. A few vases around the house could provide a splash of colour or at least hold flowers for the same purpose. There were some paintings, too, the most notable being a portrait done by Fanbrush. It wasn't a commissioned painting, so they hadn't sat down to have it painted, and Fanbrush had just done it from memory. As a result, there were a few inaccuracies that were fairly obvious. Scootaloo's horns, for example, were short and black in reality, but were painted as long and light grey. Her spines had also been replaced by Smolder's; an understandable mix-up, as they did look very similar. Still, it was a nice gift that would just have to be replaced with a more accurate rendition. Of course, that one would be paid for, rather than a free gift.

Then there were some other gifts that weren't quite as appreciated as much as the thoughts that went into them. Being able to breathe fire, dragons didn't have a need for toasters, but Spike had bought one, anyway. Now they had five. Also in the mix were two complete sets of flatware, a collection of pots and pans, and three knife blocks, only one of which was actually any good.

A lot of the guests went from giving gifts straight to the dance floor. While the guests seemed to be bobbing at different rates, there were ripples within ripples that aligned exactly at the center of the room.

Suddenly, Scootaloo realized that there hadn't been any saxophone for the last few minutes. She looked up, and Alto had left the stage. She looked around, and couldn't see him amongst the ponies of the crowd. She wasn't sure where he'd gone.

At any rate, the presents had all been opened, and each of the guests thanked for attending. It was almost sunset, and soon, they would be headed home for the night.

Scootaloo stood up and took Spike's claw. "Come with me."

"Are we going to dance again?" he asked.

"No, I'm going to the lavatory, and I need you to help me out of the dress, and then back into it."

With a nod, Spike followed her out of the barn, taking note of the carriage he probably wasn't supposed to see yet, as it said "Just Marr" and had nothing trailing behind it. With a shrug, he went into the house with Scootaloo and then up the stairs to the bathroom.

As they were up there, however, they noticed a peculiar sound coming from Big Mac's room. A pair of voices that Scootaloo knew right away. Spike could only place one, but he knew that Big Mac was down in front of the barn, dressing up the carriage that would take them home. Being close with him, he had a standing invitation to enter his room, as he was guaranteed trustworthy.

The door swung open quickly, and Scootaloo chuckled at the sight. Ember, ruler of the dragons, had slipped away from her guards and made her way upstairs with a stallion, Alto the saxophonist. "Well, would you look at that..."

"It's not what you think!" shouted Ember, tossing Alto into the air with ease. "I was... eating him! That's right! Look, he has bite marks and everything!"

Alto landed on the floor with a loud thud. Indeed, he did have bite marks on his shoulder, and claw marks on his arse pulling him in. He hadn't flown too far, though, as Ember's tail was still wrapped several times around his leg. "H-hi, Scootaloo..." he blushed. "How w-was your wedding?"

"Very memorable," answered Scootaloo.

"You shouldn't be in here," said Spike. "While I appreciate that you were looking for some privacy, and I'm not going to chastise either of you for sleeping together, this is someone's home, and their own personal bedroom. Dragon Lord Ember has a room back at the castle you can use."

Alto's eyes went wide. He turned to Ember. "You're the Dragon Lord?!"

"Thanks, Spike," scowled Ember. "Now he's going to be too scared to make a move for fear that I'll actually eat him..."

She brushed herself off and stormed out of the room, Alto squealing with delight and trying to hide his dripping boner as he trailed after her.

With Big Mac's door closed once more, Spike brought Scootaloo into the bathroom and helped her out of her dress. At first, he turned around to allow her some privacy, but not for long, as she grabbed ahold of his tail. "You know we're married now, right? Plus, how many times have you seen me without clothes?"

"Force of habit," he chuckled. "Besides, I don't want to stare..."

Chapter the Forty-Sixth: Happily Ever After

Once Scootaloo was zipped up properly, she turned around to adjust Spike's outfit. "You know, these outfits are coming off as soon as we arrive back at the house. I owe you a romp."

"I don't know about owing it to me," smiled Spike, "But I'll join you, anyway."

They shared a kiss and left the bathroom. They'd already flushed and washed their claws, and now it was time to return to the party.

The carriage was coming along splendidly. There were two of them, now, though. The first was decorated completely, with the train of bells and the words "Just Married" printed on the back and sides. The second was not decorated, as it was just stuffed full of wedding gifts so they could all be transported back.

Barb found them as they entered through the door, rubbing her eyes. "Can we go home, soon?" she groaned. "I'm tired..."

Scootaloo smiled and picked her up, situating her on her hip. "We'll go soon, sweetie. All we have to do is find your siblings and tell everypony goodnight."

As Big Mac walked in behind them, Spike placed a claw on his shoulder. "Thanks for doin' this for us, Big Mac."

"Eeyup."

"Are you sure it's not been too much trouble?"

"Nope."

Looking around, neither Ember nor Alto had made it back to the barn. Cudgel was in the back corner, trying to organise something with Gridline. Gridline's parents had not been invited, because when Scootaloo had gone to ask them, all they wanted to do was complain about marriage being a trap and to not fall into it, which would only lead to a big fight with their ex if they had showed up. Rainbow Slash was riding on Rainbow Dash's shoulders, having also been pretty tired by the day's events.

Spike picked up Barb from Scootaloo's arms and gave her to Big Mac. "I think it's time we head home," he said. "Would you mind putting her in the carriage for us?"

Without a word, Big Mac hoisted her up onto his shoulders and carried her out the door.

Scootaloo made her way over to Rainbow Dash, who had been joined by Soarin now that he'd had time to return. But on his way to pick up Cudgel, Spike was stopped by Twilight and Thorax. "Have you seen Ember?" they asked in a whisper.

"I told her to go back to the castle," he whispered back. Careful if you go see her, though, she has a stallion caller with her, last I checked."

"You mean a dragon?" asked Thorax.

"No, the missing saxophonist."

Twilight and Thorax exchanged surprised looks, then chuckles. "We're going to head back to the castle, ourselves. Don't stay up too late."

"Oh, we're about to head home," smiled Spike. "Kids need to go to bed, and Scoots is really happy that the day went so well. Have a good night."

Giving both of them a big hug, Spike let them move along as he went to pick up Cudgel. It turns out that he was organising a new campaign, and Gridline was trying to do the numbers with his hoof and from memory.

"Time to go, Cudgel," said Spike, dropping down to one knee. "Wrap it up."

"Okay," said Cudgel. "Anyway, the short version is, we find the lost prince and he's actually a Jörmungandr in disguise. Then we fight him."

"Cool," smiled Gridline. "We should probably play up his fake armor a bit, though. Really dig into that scalemail."

"Right. See you later, Grid."

Climbing up onto his dad's shoulders, Cudgel was taken out of the barn and situated in the carriage, and Rainbow Slash wasn't far behind. Spike and Scootaloo hopped in, as well, and with Big Mac pulling the carriage full of dragons and Rainbow Dash and Soarin pulling the wagonload of gifts, they were on their way home right away.

"So, where do we want to go on our honeymoon?" asked Spike. "I know we were mostly focused on the wedding, but I haven't really given it any thought."

"Neither have I," answered Scootaloo. "Honestly, I think we need a vacation after all of this. But I think it might be best if we kept it simple. Something easy."

"Something we can travel to in less than a day and not have to bring a lot of stuff," agreed Spike.

"And most importantly, family friendly." Scootaloo looked across the carriage at their kids, two of which were asleep, with Cudgel still trying to stay awake. "The Crystal Empire?"

"If you want ponies mobbing me all day, sure," snorted Spike. "Appleloosa?"

"Isn't it stampede season?"

Spike thought about it for a moment. "Why don't we just stay in? It doesn't matter to me where we go, as long as we're together. And there's no place nicer to be than right here in Ponyville!"

Scootaloo smiled. "It'd be nice to be able to stay in the house without anything needing to be done."

"Plus, I'm pretty sure Cudgel wouldn't mind sticking around to finish his campaign planning."

They both turned to Cudgel, who had fallen asleep since they'd last checked.

"It's decided, then," smiled Scootaloo, snuggling up under Spike's chin. "A staycation, it shall be."

After arriving home, Big Mac carried Cudgel inside, while Rainbow moved the girls. This freed up Spike's arms so he could carry his bride through the door and up the stairs, lowering her into the bed. He unzipped her dress once again, and their clothes were swiftly discarded and tossed onto the floor and their bodies entangled on the bed.

While it started with Spike climbing on top of Scootaloo, it was mere seconds before she grabbed his wrists and flipped him onto his back, pinning him to the bed. They didn't stop until after midnight, and fell asleep in a crumpled mess on the bed.

But it wasn't just a happy ending for them. Once they made it back to Rainbow's place, she and Soarin took another shower together. Soarin didn't even have a chance to grab a towel before being dragged into bed, and they went to bed dripping. Twilight and Thorax likewise had a romantic evening, and while their lovemaking was slow and sensual, they still went to bed at a reasonable hour.

It was Alto and Ember that were up all night. When Alto snuck out the next morning, he arrived to breakfast with the rest of his band with bites all over his shoulders and hips, scratches all down his back, burns on his chest and a great big smile on his face. He'd had perhaps the best night out of all of them, as he'd finally bedded a dragon, and a royal one, at that.

Chapter the First: The Least Happy of Birthdays

Cudgel and Barb inhaled deeply and blew across the candles of their birthday cake, igniting them to applause from the guests. But not from Scootaloo, as one of the twins had not even tried.

"What's wrong, Rainbow Slash?" she asked, placing her claw on her daughter's shoulder.

"Nothing," she sniffled.

"I know there's something bothering you, dear," she sighed. "I'm your mother, after all. Come on, tell me what's wrong."

Slash was silent for a moment. "I know my wish won't come true..."

Scootaloo nodded, rubbing her claw against her daughter's rainbow spines. "It's going to be okay. I know you want to stay here in the dragon lands, but you're going to love Equestria, too."

"How can I?" sobbed Slash. "All of my friends are here, my life is here..."

"It's not like you're never going to see your friends again," snorted Ember. "Don't be ridiculous. They'll come see you, you'll come see them, you'll send letters back and forth, and you'll make more friends in Ponyville."

"But I don't want more friends," whined Slash. "I want my friends!"

Suddenly, her godmother, Rainbow Dash, came forward. "Let me give you a solid piece of advice, champ," she said proudly. "If these dragons are your very best friends, then it's stupid to think that something as inconsequential as proximity is what's going to separate you. If they stop being your friends just because you don't live near them anymore, that means they're not very good friends. Did I stop talking to your mom just because she came to live out here?"

"We're all scared," assured Cudgel. "Even your big brother."

Barb said nothing. Instead, she just started crying, as well.

Spike leaned in to rub her shoulders. "I promise, you're going to find things to like about Ponyville. I know I did."

Scootaloo sighed. She'd been feeling the mood gradually lower for the last month. She'd told her kids that, after their birthday, they were moving to Ponyville, and that was meant to be a permanent move, and they'd not been happy about it. Sure, that meant that they could spend more time with their father, as well as their godmother and great aunts, but they weren't kidding when they said that their entire lives had been situated right here in the home of Scepter and Mace. To upend that would be a huge undertaking, as had it been for Scootaloo when she was forced to leave Ponyville to come to the dragon lands. It would be no less difficult for them.

"We're all going," said Scootaloo. "Every one of us. The whole family. You know, when I was your age, I couldn't take any of my family with me. I had to do this whole thing alone. I know how scary it is." She moved the cake and its unlit candles back in front of Rainbow Slash. "Be brave. your whole family has your back on this."

Shaking, and with a few deep breaths to steady herself, Slash blew a soft, whipping series of flame jets across her cake, lighting all nine candles. The same applause that had been granted to her brother and her twin sister rang out again.

Dragons tended to not celebrate their hatching days the same way ponies did birthdays. Even then, this party was not a dragon event, nor a pony event, but some combination thereof. That's why, rather than blowing out the candles, they were doing something more akin to the traditional flame-spitting contest, and having the kids light their own candles. Scootaloo had actually been mixing the cultures their entire life, trying to minimise the shock they would have when they moved to Ponyville.

Despite having multiple friends invited over to enjoy the celebration, most of them had gone home at this point, citing that the weird pony traditions that Scootaloo recommended weren't fun, so after the traditional dragon activities, most of the guests bowed out. Or rather, their parents had. All that remained were those that were neccesary, or those who had close pony relations, such as Ember and Smolder.

Spike placed his claws on the shoulders of his kids. "You three enjoy that cake. I have to be on my way now."

Scootaloo pulled him into a hug, and then a kiss on top of that. "I'm looking forward to it."

"Seeing him go?" joked Smolder.

"I should have everything ready when you arrive," said Spike, half in answer to Smolder, half in assurance to his wife. "Most of it's ready to go. Dash is going to stay here with you tonight to help move all your stuff back."

Rainbow Dash saluted with a smile. "Whatever you need."

Scootaloo nodded. "All of my stuff is ready to go. Packed it last night. All that remains is stuff I still need tonight. Then there's the kids..."

"I'm on it," answered Smolder, making her way back to the kids' rooms.

"Right." Ember took a few steps forward. "It's going to be quiet when you're gone, Scootaloo. While I appreciate you coming to me to ask what to do with basic problems, I have to wonder how long it's going to be before the other dragons stop complaining about you being here after you're already gone."

Scootoaloo shook her head and scoffed.

"No, seriously, even after years, I still have to wave the dragon scepter to tell the others to stop whining about your presence. As much as I'm annoyed by your lack of experience, it's nothing compared to how many dragons have come to me asking to have you shipped back to Ponyville. I don't know what I'm going to do with all of the extra time."

"Maybe you should look into those sarcasm classes I told you about," smiled Scootaloo, looking back at her. "You could really make some good use of time with a little bit more sarcasm."

Ember chuckled and sighed. "I really am going to miss you. Don't forget to write."

Scootaloo wrapped her claws around Ember's shoulders. "I won't."

"I bet."

As they separated, Ember sighed and looked around. "Good luck reintegrating into Ponyville. If any of them give you crap for how much you've changed, give 'em an extra slug for me, would ya?"

Scootaloo chuckled. "Will do."

Chapter the Sixteenth: The Bachelorette Party

"--But if you do that, they'll take on the form of a stratocumulus, and you need a bunch of those to do anything worthwhile. Great for emergencies, when you need to remove a cloud from formation right away, but try to stay away from doing that unless the plan is to create a lot of cloud cover."

Scootaloo nodded. She was taking a lesson from Rumble on weather control so that when it came time to apply for a weather licence, she'd pass more easily.

"So, any questions?"

"Just one. What if the resulting stratocumulus is too heavy and dense, and falls down lower?"

"I just use my tail to whip it back into a less dense, lighter, fluffier froth." To show how, he turned around and whipped the air over her living room rug. "Just like that."

"Ah thought y'all said no strippers?"

Scootaloo and Rumble turned to the archway to see Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle standing there, having let themselves in. Rumble blushed and turned away, pushing his books into a small pile. "I should go..."

"Nice tail strike, by the way," added Rainbow Dash, popping into the room and fitting Scootaloo with a tiara and scepter. "Were you showing her how to turn a cumulostratus into an altostratus?"

Rumble nodded sheepishly.

"Well, we're kidnapping her. Watch the kids until her aunts arrive, would ya? They should be here in a few minutes."

Rumble nodded and saluted. "They'll be safe in my hooves, ma'am."

Scootaloo was escorted out the door and into a stretched carriage that already had loud music playing inside before she even stepped into it.

"Party dragon's in tha house!" shouted Pinkie as the door closed. "Whole carriage is waterproofed and insured, so don't be shy about using this!" She placed in Scootaloo's claws a very large pump-action water cannon, made to resemble a stallion's cock and balls. "It's filled with champagne!"

"Not the good stuff, though," said Rarity. "I've stored that away and reserved it for the wedding."

Rarity was definitely the strangest-looking pony there, wearing a protective suit to prevent her from being spilled on or sprayed. All but her face was covered, which would allow her to drink without finding any alcohol in her mane.

"Alright, girls, let's start the pregame!" shouted Rainbow, pouring all six of them a shot of bourbon. "It's going to be a good ten minutes before we arrive in Whinnyapolis, so--"

Sweetie Belle interrupted her with a shot from a medium-sized squirt gun. "Less talk, more shot!"

Everyone grabbed a glass and swallowed it down. The dragon lands were not a dry state; you could legally drink alcohol there, and very little would come of it. There wasn't even an age limit on it. But no one ever drank it. Scootaloo had learned early on that the fire in their guts prevented them from drawing on the effects, as it would all burn off rather quickly inside of them. So it was no surprise to her that she was less effected by the single shot as everypony else was.

"Let's have another round!" called Rainbow, pouring another shot.

Then came a third, and then a fourth, and then a fifth before everypony except Scootaloo was sufficiently buzzed. "So, what's the plan here?" asked Scootaloo, almost entirely lucid.

Rainbow shook her head. "No, no, no... You'll have to wait until we pull up to find out."

"Fine by me," shrugged Scootaloo. "I just thought you might want to play a guessing game."

"OOH! Let's play a guessing game!" shouted Pinkie. "I'll go first! I'm thinking of a stallion--"

"Cheese Sandwich," answered Rainbow and Rarity at the same time.

"Right! Who's next?"

"I shall go," volunteered Rarity. "I'm thinking of a colour."

"Is it white?" asked Pinkie.

"Close."

"Yellow," said Rainbow.

"Light pink?" guessed Pinkie.

"Snow!" shouted Sweetie.

"Snow ain't a colour!" scolded Apple Bloom.

"Snow is close," answered Rarity.

"Alabaster."

"Eggshell."

"Linen?"

"Cotton?"

"Lace?"

"Porcelain!"

"Y'all are just makin' things up at this point..."

"Chiffon?" guessed Sweetie Belle.

"Chiffon is correct," confirmed Rarity.

"I'll go," called Scootaloo. "I'm thinking of a place."

Rainbow snorted. "You're going to try to draw a hint out of me as to where we're going, aren't ya?"

Scootaloo waved her claw. "No..." She had been trying to do that, and was hoping that Rainbow was tipsy enough to not notice.

"Is it the park bench past the main fountain on the east side of Willow Park, just under the maple tree where you kissed Spike for the first time?" asked Pinkie.

Scootaloo's jaw dropped. "How'd you know that?"

"Spike told me where it was!" giggled Pinkie. "Twilight wanted to commemorate it as a town landmark, but after being vandalized a few times, she gave Spike the plaque she'd made and said she would put it up again when interspecies relationships were less frowned on!"

"Hey!" interjected Rainbow. "Are we here to frown about the fact that some arseholes can't stomach the idea of other ponies having fun with species that aren't their own, or are we here to party?"

"Party!!! WOOO!!!" Pinkie pumped her Super Soaker, spaying everyone in the carriage with champagne as it began to slow down.

Rainbow poked her head out of the carriage sunroof. "We're almost there. I can see the sign now." She pulled her head back in and poured a new round of shots. "Last call before we go in. Ground rules: Stay with the group, observe all safety procedures, and on my whistle, everypony returns to the carriage. Clear?"

Everyone nodded.

"Good. Cheers."

As they all gulped down their last shot, the carriage came to a halt, and one of the drivers came back to open the door for them, offering them each a towel as they stepped out to dry themselves before walking into their first stop. Scootaloo couldn't believe what the sign said.

"Kiss my Axe?"

"Yeah," laughed Rainbow. "It's a lumberjack pub. They also have something special in the back."

Scootaloo sighed. "Please tell me it's not a stripper pole..."

"Why don't you head to the back and find out?"

With a shrug, Scootaloo went in, leaving the collection of squirt guns in the carriage. As she walked past the bouncer, he gave each of them a bracelet that would identify them throughout their journey, something Pinkie had set up with each establishment they'd be going to. All they had to do was flash their bracelet at the bar, and they'd be entitled to a set amount, prepaid by Pinkie, as well as a variable line of credit that Pinkie would be charged for later. This would simultaneously put them over the minimums and keep them from drinking too much.

All the way at the back, however, was a large room with a bunch of wooden targets on one wall, and a bunch of tomahawks by the other. "No fuckin' way..." gasped Scootaloo.

"You think I'd let ya have a boring party?" snorted Rainbow. "Give me a little bit of credit, Squirt..."

Chapter the Thirty-Second: Lesson Interrupted

After the kids left with their friends, or left alone to join their friends at another location, Scootaloo went into the study and pulled a book off the shelf.

"Is that what you're reading?" asked Mane, who'd followed her in.

"No, I was just looking for something to stand on so I could reach the higher shelves," snarked Scootaloo. "Yes, I'm reading it, mom."

"And you don't see the problem with that?"

"I honestly don't," she answered. "But I'm sure you'd be willing to tell me."

Mane folded her wings in front of her. "I'm not one hundred percent in love with your tone right now, Scootaloo. Aren't you happy to see your mother?"

"Aren't you happy to see your daughter be married and starting a happy family?"

"I would be, if I knew the stallion, but I don't."

"That's not my fault. He's been living here since before this house existed. Back when this was a freshly-purchased plot of land with a tent and some rocks, this was his. And he and my aunts put the place together. They did that for me. This house was specifically built with the intent of raising the kids here."

"So you knew going into it that you wanted kids?"

Scootaloo froze for a moment. She had to pick her next words carefully. "When construction started, we knew we'd have kids, yes."

"And how old are the kids?"

Scootaloo took a deep breath. "The youngest just turned nine."

"And the oldest?"

"Just turned nine."

"So this house has been in the works for ten years?"

"It has, yes."

"So tell me again why it's not decorated?"

"I've been out of the country, mother. I've been living in the dragon lands."

"The dragon lands." Mane took a deep breath. "For ten years?"

"Yes."

Mane paused. "You know, the whole reason we let you stay in Ponyville was because you had important work to do here. Why would you leave?"

Scootaloo brought her claw up to her face and rubbed her temples. "I didn't want to leave; I wasn't given a choice. When I changed into a dragon, Princess Twilight contacted Dragon Lord Ember about checking up on my health. We found out that there's a law about dragon children growing up outside of the dragon lands, so I had to go. I had to escort the children."

"Did you?" asked Mane. "You couldn't find a trustworthy babysitter in the dragon lands?"

Scootaloo sighed, then turned and glared at her mother. "Do you know how it feels to grow up without your parents around?"

"Scootaloo, I--"

"Answer the question, mother," she growled. "Do you have any idea what that's like?"

"It's less bad if you have a good babysitter."

Scootaloo dropped her shoulders. "Aunt Holiday and Aunty Lofty were great three days a week. Jumping from house to house to be watched by ponies who would sometimes forget that I was staying with them the other four days was terrible. Do you know how many times I showed up at someone's place to stay the night, and they just weren't there?"

"Forty-three," answered Mane. "You told us every time that happened."

"And since Aunty Lofty forgot the key in her pocket, and the trains wouldn't run again until morning, I--"

"You slept on a bench at the train station. I remember."

"You slept on a bench?"

Both of them turned to look at Rumble, who had just poked his head into the living room.

"Sorry, your door was halfway open. I could hear you arguing from the street."

"And who is this?" asked Mane. "Don't tell me you're seeing two different stallions?"

"Don't be ridiculous," sneered Scootaloo, finally replacing the book on the shelf. "Rumble is helping me study. Rumble, this is my mother."

"A pleasure," smiled Rumble, extending his hoof.

"The pleasure is all mine," smiled Mane back. As she turned to look at Scootaloo, she cocked her head to the side. "Now, why couldn't you marry a charming stallion like this one?"

"Mom?!"

"What? He's kind of cute, and he's your age!"

Rumble retracted his hoof to rub the back of his neck and blushed.

"Mom, I'm not breaking up with Spike and marrying Rumble just because you think he's cuter than my fiancé."

"I'm not saying he's just cuter than Spike. He also made a better first impression."

"When you just made a new first impression with Spike, he was trying to nurse me back to health. How is that a bad first impression?"

"Rubble, here, was very polite, and he's trying to help you study for school."

"It's Rumble, actually," he mumbled. "Sorry, should I come back later?"

"No, no!" ushered Mane, pushing him to the couch. "You two sit down and study! I'll bring some snacks!"

As she disappeared into the kitchen, Scootaloo sighed as she sat down next to Rumble.

"Everything alright?" he whispered, placing a hoof on her shoulder.

"My mom hates my fiancé, but otherwise, no problem. How are you?"

"I'm embarrassed. How was your party?"

"I drank too much and fell asleep in another stallion's hooves."

"Oof."

"Nothing happened, and Spike forgave me. I was drunk, after all."

"Well... I do think you look pretty..." He blushed again. After a short, but very awkward pause, he changed the subject. "So," he clapped. "Did you read that book I left with your aunts?"

"No, I... I guess they forgot to give it to me. Things were really hectic yesterday."

"Well, no matter. We can come back to it next time." He stood up and turned around. "So, let's talk about tornadoes..."

Ten minutes later, Mane came in with a tray of hors-d'oeuvres, then left them alone to continue their lesson. They didn't hear a peep out of her for almost half an hour, when there came a shriek from upstairs. Scootaloo and Rumble dropped what they were doing and bolted up to the bedroom, where Mane was standing, surrounded by Spike's brand-new collection of sex toys.

"What is all of this?!" she asked, mortified.

Scootaloo buried her head in her claws. "Mom, what are you doing in here?!"

"I was cleaning up!" she shouted back. "Is this what he's done to you? Has that dragon turned my daughter into some kind of sex maniac?!"

Rumble, perhaps showing his intellect, or perhaps just his cowardice, slipped out of the room. He suddenly realised; he didn't want to be here anymore.

Chapter the Thirty-Sixth: Broken Up

The next four days were the longest ones of Scootaloo's life. She had to go around town and tell everypony individually that she and Spike had broken up, and because they had been the cause of the problem, she dragged her parents around to every single meeting.

There was a wide range of emotions, from Rarity screaming and demanding they leave her boutique, to Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle bawling, to Rainbow Dash telling them they were the worst, most awful parents to ever exist, to Pinkie Pie saying that the six thousand bits that'd already been spent on the ceremony could not and would not be refunded. It was a wide range of negativity, but always the same intensity.

When they came back from Sweet Apple Acres, the selected venue, Scootaloo didn't feel like talking, and went up to the room she'd been staying in since the breakup, that being Lofty's craft room. She and the kids were sleeping there in sleeping bags, rather than in the beds and rooms built specifically to match their tastes.

"Are you happy with yourself, little brother?" asked Holiday, not looking up from her knitting. "Isn't this exactly what you wanted?"

Snap sat down and sighed. "Look, Spike wasn't a good fit for her. In time, she'll come to realize that this was just a crush, and she'll find somepony better. And it'll hurt less then, because she'll not have to go through the inevitable messy divorce. I saved her a lot of time and pain."

"Did you?" snorted Holiday. "What if she really was in love?"

"No one spends eternity with their first love," scoffed Snap. "Sooner or later, she'll realize that the only reason she picked him was for the sake of the kids, and if she's married, she'll grow to resent him."

"She's already growing to resent you," countered Holiday. "You had her removed from her home, you deprived her children of one of their parents, and for what? So you can pretend to know what you're talking about?"

"We're her parents. We know what's best for her."

"We raised her," said Lofty, walking in from the kitchen. "Even if it turns out that Spike was the wrong choice, and he's not, your daughter has a truly remarkable ability to bounce back. Every time life hit her with a hard blow, she has stood her ground and faced it. If she woke up one morning and realised that she wasn't happy, the first thing she'd do is try to fix what's wrong. That's just the kind of girl she is. It doesn't matter if Spike is causing the issue; she'll make it work."

"She's still too young to know for sure."

Lofty sighed. "Do you remember when your sister and I married?"

"That was different."

"Was it? My father kept telling me that it was a bad idea; that Holly was a horrible influence on me, and that she was the only pony I'd ever dated, so how could I possibly know if it was real love if I've never experienced a stallion before. My dad hated your sister, and my mom only convinced him to let the marriage happen with the assurance that we'd be separated within six months."

"I actually never knew that," admitted Holiday. "Did your parents really hate me? I thought they were just uncomfortable with you being a lesbian?"

"No, they thought you were terrible," affirmed Lofty. "And that's why I always insisted on not visiting them for Hearth's Warming." She turned to Snap. "So what do you think? Does father know best? Should I abandon your sister because nopony ever makes the right choice the first time? Or do you think your daughter is smart enough to make the right choice and strong enough to handle the consequences of her actions?"

"She's just a filly."

"She is an adult pony in the body of a young adult dragon. She's older than you were when you and Mane eloped. And remind me why it was that you did that?"

"Because..." Snap snorted. "Because Mane's parents didn't want her marrying a stallion with no money..."

"Did her parents know better?"

Snap didn't answer, but his silence spoke volumes.

"You're allowed to not like him," concluded Lofty. "I didn't for a long time. For two and a half years, he was the boy who stole Scootaloo from Ponyville. He lost me my niece. There have been times where I was glad to be right, but this time, it's good that I was wrong."

Snap sighed and stood up, walking out into the hallway. Lofty was right; Scootaloo was very capable, even as a filly. She could handle this. She just needed a bit of fatherly advice, and she could handle this.

As he raised his hoof to knock on the door, though, he found that he couldn't bring himself to do so. It was a soft whimpering on the other side of the door that stayed his hoof; somepony was crying.

"Come here, dearest," said Scootaloo. "What's the matter?"

"I wanna live with daddy!" sobbed one of the girls.

"I miss my bed," moaned the other.

"We just came here to Ponyville," growled Cudgel. "I thought we came here to reunite our family? Now we have to split it up again. Are we all abandoning our new friends to return to the dragon lands?"

"Cudgel, stop," sighed Scootaloo. "This situation is already bad enough; we don't need to make it worse."

"Are my parents going to end up the same as Gridline's?" he asked. "Are you and dad going to fight each other for my affection? Are you each going to buy me shiny new things and then taint the gift by immediately saying "Your dad doesn't love you enough to buy nice things like that?" I listen to his parents hate each other all day when I go to his houses. I don't want to pretend not to see the problem like he does."

Scootaloo sighed. "I really hope it doesn't come to that, Cudgel. Your father loves you all very much, and he wants to be with you. He wants us all to live together. That's why he proposed right after we moved in."

Snap hung his head. There was something he had to do before he could face his daughter.