Once Again The First Time
"And here's the dahlias I planted last month."
Starlight smiled and nodded. "They're really pretty. I don't know too much about this planet's botany; are these native to the area?"
Wallflower took a deep breath to calm her nerves before replying. "No, but they can thrive in this climate, so I don't need to have them in the greenhouse. For this particular species, I have to adjust the nutrient balance in the fertilizer to make it really grow, but it's just adding a little bit of potassium and reducing the ammonia content."
Was she talking too much? Surely Starlight didn't care about the details. She just wanted to see pretty flowers, right?
That's why Wallflower had taken her to her garden for their first date.
Well, sort of a date.
She hadn't called it that yet, but if this worked out then it'd be their first date.
Assuming she hadn't ruined it by talking too much shop.
"In Equestria, we'd just use Earth Pony magic to control that," Starlight replied as Wallflower reached into her pocket. "What's the procedure over here?"
Wallflower's hand freezes around an object that she shouldn't still possess. "Oh, uhh, well, it's just mixing together different fertilizers," she explained. "Nothing too complicated, just proportions and stuff."
"Right, yeah, that makes sense." Starlight let off a nervous laugh. "So, is this your main hobby, then? Gardening?"
"Yup! I know some people find it boring but it's actually really rewarding and interesting," Wallflower defended before Starlight could make fun of her. "It's not boring at all!"
Starlight laughed nervously again. "Oh, no, I didn't mean to imply that it was. I think it's really interesting too!"
Why did she sound like she was lying? Was Wallflower boring her? "Good, good, glad we're on the same page," she said instead, trying to keep calm. They stood around awkwardly for a few seconds. "So, uhh, want to see the other plants?"
"Sure, that sounds fun." Yep, Starlight was clearly just being polite. This was a disaster. Again.
"Are you sure? We can do something else if you want," Wallflower offered, trying to salvage the situation.
"No, it's fine, honest!" Starlight held up her hands in front of her. "Let's keep going!"
"I don't want to bore you," Wallflower said, a twinge of annoyance in her at Starlight's insistence on lying to her. It was fine if she didn't enjoy the one thing that made Wallflower the happiest— she could adapt to that— but a little honesty would be nice.
"I'm not bored, Wallflower, I'm really enjoying myself." Starlight reached out a hand, but Wallflower moved away.
"You're just saying that," Wallflower muttered. "I don't need your pity. I'm sure you already have someone else waiting for you at home back in Equestria. It was stupid of me to try to invite you on a date."
"Wait, this is a date?" Starlight's eyes widened before narrowing. "Also, this isn't pity, and I don't appreciate you accusing me of lying."
Wallflower panicked. Again.
"Nonononono, this isn't how it was supposed to go." Wallflower reached into her pocket again, and before Starlight could react, pulled out a small, magical stone that she shouldn't have anymore.
"Wait, is that—" Starlight never got to finish her question as her world went dark.
"Wow, this place is fancy."
Wallflower smiled at her date from across the table. "It's pretty great. I don't get to come here much, but it's always a treat when I can."
"Well, thanks for inviting me," Starlight said. "And for ordering for me too. I still don't know much about human cuisine, especially when they're in another language."
"You know, it's so weird that we both speak the same language, when you think about it." Wallflower paused to take a sip of her water and calm her nerves. She was making casual conversation successfully right now! Like a functional human being! "Like, all the hard sci-fi I read— and logic, I guess— would say that there's no way two completely different species from parallel universes would have close to the same communication methods, but here we are."
"Yeah, I never thought my first date would be on another planet." Starlight let out a light chuckle, and Wallflower tamped down the guilt that flared in her heart at those words. "Yup, definitely my first date."
"Same," Wallflower quickly added. "Glad you said yes the first time I asked you out."
"Me too," Starlight smiled back. Before she could say any more, the waiter arrived with their orders.
"Coq au vin for both madames," she said, setting down their plates.
"This smells interesting." Starlight gave her meal a quick sniff before taking her knife and fork and cutting off a chunk. "Huh, kinda chewy but also a weird flavour I've never had before under the wine. What did you say this was again?"
"It's chicken cooked in wine," Wallflower explained, picking up her own cutlery.
Starlight's eyes widened as she immediately spat out her food. "Wait, I'm eating an animal?"
The blood in Wallflower's veins froze as she put the pieces together. "Oh no, ponies don't...?"
Starlight retched.
"I'm so sorry!" Wallflower dropped her fork and stuck her hand into her pocket. "Don't worry, I'll fix this." She pulled out the memory stone and channeled its power in panic.
Starlight was too busy throwing up to notice when the magic surrounded the room and wiped the slate clean once again.
"It's a lot brighter here than in the arcades back in Equestria."
"Electricity, baby," Wallflower grinned as she deftly navigated her way through the crowd, dragging Starlight along with her. Despite all the time they'd spent together (even if only Wallflower remembered that time), that simple physical contact still sent a thrill down her spine, making her heart race as she prayed that this time would be the one. "You and Sunset managed to figure out how to get it over to your world yet?"
"We have to make sure it won't interfere too much with magic first," Starlight replied, having to shout over the din of the crowd. "Princess Twilight has a team on it back home."
"Man, Equestria sounds so cool," Wallflower said. "Imagine having so much magic that you have to worry about stuff like that. We barely get anything here."
"If you want to visit I'm sure Princess Twilight wouldn't mind, especially since you've been helping us out with research." Starlight smiled hesitantly. "I could show you around, if you want."
Wallflower's heart skipped another beat. "I'd love that!" she shouted, a little too excitedly. She tried to cover it up by pulling Starlight harder, nearly dragging her over to one of the arcade booths. "This is my favourite game," she said, pointing to it. "It's got a versus mode if you want to play."
"Sounds fun!" Starlight hopped into the booth next to hers and they both put in a ticket to start them.
Wallflower instinctively picked her main, then waited impatiently as Starlight selected a fighter. The world faded away as a stage was selected, and as soon as the match started, she input the sequence for her fastest combo before Starlight could get hers in.
One frame-perfect set of inputs later, Starlight's fighter was at half health, but Wallflower wasn't going to take any chances. She carefully prepared for a counter-offensive as she waited for an opening.
Her opponent lunged forward, and Wallflower expertly countered with yet another combo, finishing off Starlight's fighter with a flashy overkill to assert her dominance.
"Hah, take that, scrub!" Wallflower cheered as she turned to gloat at Starlight.
And then she saw the look of absolute dejection on her friend's face, and remembered that this was her first time playing. The rush of embarrassment was so strong that Wallflower immediately reached for the Memory Stone without having to second-guess herself.
She would find another activity they could both do as equals next time.
"Man, I haven't been on one of these since high school," Wallflower said with a wide grin as the attendant strapped her in. "I used to love riding roller coasters."
Starlight, on the other hand, looked very nervous as she eyed the sheer height of the drop they'd soon be experiencing. "Roller coasters are more of a pegasus thing." Her voice trembled as she tried to hide her feelings. "Never tried them in Equestria. But hey, no time like the present for something new, right?"
Wallflower let out a laugh. "Yeah, don't worry if you don't like it. I won't mind." Not that Starlight would remember if she didn't— Wallflower would simply wipe her memories and pick something else.
"Oh, I'm not worried." Starlight's smile was secretive, and Wallflower looked forward to a chance to pry the secrets out of this beautiful woman when their first date finally went right.
The roller coaster began to move, shaking them about as it made its bumpy way up the tracks. Wallflower decided to make conversation to ease Starlight's nerves. "I heard from Twilight and Sunset that you're almost done with your current project."
"Yeah, we're just working out a few kinks in stabilizing the new portal," Starlight replied, having to raise her voice to be heard over the creaking machinery and intensifying winds.
"Are you going home after?" It was one of Wallflower's many worries about this plan— even if it felt like she could have as many tries as she wanted, there was still a deadline before Starlight would slip away from her.
"I'm liking it here, so I think I'll see if there's something else they need my help on." Starlight's response sent a surge of hope through Wallflower's heart. "There's people here I'd like to—"
And then the drop came.
And Wallflower realized that things had changed since she was a teenager.
Abject terror ripped all thoughts of romance from her mind as her stomach dropped and her heart felt like it was being torn out of her chest. The world disappeared as Wallflower screamed and thrashed in her restraints, the vertigo robbing her of all her senses.
An eternity later, the ride came to a stop. "Wow, that was a lot of fun," Wallflower vaguely heard Starlight say. "We should do it again!"
Wallflower leaned over the side of the car, and emptied the contents of her stomach. Then she reached into her pocket and pulled out the memory stone before Starlight could react.
No more amusement park dates, then.
It had been long enough that Wallflower felt comfortable going back to the arcade. Trying the same thing twice sometimes resulted in some residual memories making things awkward, so Wallflower had to space things apart.
"So, what do you want to play?" Starlight shouted as they entered.
"Why don't I show you how to play my favourite game?" Wallflower replied, making sure to reign in her competitive instincts this time. As she led Starlight towards the booth, she reminded herself to actually teach Starlight the game, and to go easy on her the first few matches. Given how smart Starlight was, Wallflower was sure that she'd be caught up pretty quickly.
"Okay, so this character is good for your first time," she explained as they sat down, pointing at the screen.
Starlight nodded and listened as Wallflower explained the controls, though she seemed almost distracted, just giving the occasional "mhm" to her lecture without asking anything. A flash of annoyance flared up at the lack of interaction, but Wallflower forced herself to finish, noting that she could just reset if it turned out Starlight really wasn't interested. "Ready?"
"Ready." There was an unexpected flash of determination in Starlight's eyes as she seemed to snap out of her ambivalence, a confidence radiating from her that Wallflower was actually finding quite attractive. "Let's do this."
Wallflower approached slowly, to give Starlight a chance to attack first and get a few hits in before she started fighting back.
At least, that was the plan.
Instead of a few jabs, Starlight unleashed a full combo that shocked Wallflower to the point where she missed the counter-window, causing her to take the full damage and leaving her reeling as she desperately mashed her buttons and tried to launch a counter-offensive, only to have Starlight perfectly block and then swiftly finish her off.
"H-How did you do that?" Wallflower whispered, staring at the defeat screen.
"Practice makes perfect," Starlight replied smugly. "Best two out of three?"
No, Wallflower didn't want Starlight's memories of their first date being such a resounding loss. She'd practice and then try this again later.
The Memory Stone's light barely registered in the sensory onslaught of the arcade.
This was probably the one.
The date had gone beautifully. Wallflower had picked out a nearby observatory where the two of them could watch the stars together, which was a perfect late-night activity for them since they'd both had to stay late helping Sunset and Twilight with some experience on botanical magic.
Thus, they could now relax and share stories about the various constellations, which were the same between their worlds for some reason. Neither of them were experts in mythology, but they still knew enough to keep each other entertained long into the night, and Wallflower almost found herself leaning into Starlight like they were lovers already multiple times.
"And then the gods put her in the sky so she could be with her lover for all eternity," Wallflower finished, a soft smile on her face.
"We have a lot of stories like that too," Starlight replied. "I guess that really is a universal fantasy."
"Spending forever with someone you love does sound pretty cool," Wallflower agreed, staring directly into Starlight's eyes for about three seconds before her nerves got the better of her and she looked away.
"I'm glad you asked me to come here," Starlight said after a few seconds.
"Me too," Wallflower replied. "I'm having a great time."
"It's so nice to be able to relax." Starlight echoed Wallflower's thoughts. "I just feel really comfortable around you, y'know? I think that's one of the reasons I fell in love with you."
Wallflower's heart stopped.
Starlight's eyes widened in horror. "Uh oh, I just said that out loud, huh?" she asked, laughing nervously.
Wallflower nodded mutely.
"Okay, it's fine, I'll just make sure not to do that again." Starlight reached into her pocket and pulled out a glowing scroll.
The sight of a clearly magical artifact quick-started Wallflower's heart as her mind raced to process what she was seeing. "What is that?" she asked, fear creeping down her spine.
"A time travel spell," Starlight explained. "Don't worry, it's a fixed version of what I cast before, so it won't create extra timelines, it just lets me do this date over again so I won't mess up like the last times."
The scroll grew brighter, and in a panic, Wallflower reached into her own pocket and channeled the magic of the memory before she even pulled it out all the way, stunning Starlight and making her eyes glaze over mid-spell.
To her relief, the scroll stopped glowing after that, and Wallflower tucked it back into Starlight's pocket before she finished erasing her memories of this night. The whole time, her heart pounded wildly in her chest as she processed the ramifications of what Starlight had tried to do, what she'd apparently done multiple times.
Starlight was resetting time whenever something went wrong with her date.
Also, Starlight was already in love with her.
That was a lot to think about. Normally, Wallflower would have said it was too soon, but who knew how many times she'd reset before this? Wallflower herself was also far more comfortable with Starlight than one would expect on a first date for the same reason.
Of course, the fact that she was doing basically the same thing made it hard to be mad at the woman she'd fallen for. It seemed Starlight was just as nervous as she was about this whole dating thing, though now that Wallflower knew how Starlight felt, she was definitely a lot more confident about her own attempts.
Now, she just needed to make sure they both remembered their first date.
After that, Wallflower started to notice the telltale signs of Starlight having reset time.
More than once, when they were all working together, she'd notice Starlight find the correct configuration for an experimental spell on the first try, and then write it off as a sorcerer's intuition. Sunset had glanced at her suspiciously every time, but hadn't said anything, and Wallflower hadn't known enough about magic to question it.
Of course, now it made a lot more sense. Those days also tended to coincide with days where Wallflower had planned to ask Starlight out, only for Starlight to make up some sort of excuse for why she was busy that day. Wallflower's overactive mind had processed it as a Starlight rejecting her romantic advances at first, but now she understood that Starlight had probably already gone on the date and hadn't enjoyed it for whatever reason.
Wallflower really wished she knew what she'd done wrong. If she wasn't missing so many memories from other timelines, she might actually be able to plan a good first date by now.
"Not again," Wallflower grumbled as Starlight didn't show up to their weekly research meeting with Sunset and Twilight on account of illness. It just so happened that Wallflower had planned on asking her to go hiking with her through Whitetail Woods.
Though, she felt a little less bad when the sudden storm started later that day. It wasn't scheduled to rain until tomorrow, but they must have gotten the forecast wrong, and Wallflower supposed that wasn't the worst reason to cancel a date before it even happened.
Of course, Wallflower still managed to get in some dates herself, but something always went wrong then too. Forgetting to bring her wallet when going for some minigolf, freaking out a little too much in front of the writer of her favourite manga at a convention, slipping on a patch of black ice and faceplanting in front of Starlight. Each one was another reset, and Wallflower was beginning to wonder if they'd be stuck in this loop for all eternity.
Spending time with Starlight was nice, but it'd be nice to actually make some progress.
Which was why she eventually decided to swallow her pride and ask for advice.
"So, uhh, I have this friend..."
Sunset had her arm wrapped around Twilight's shoulder, and she pulled her closer as she replied. "Oh? Does this friend need advice?"
Wallflower sighed at the smirk on Sunset's face. "Okay, I'm trying to plan the perfect first date, but things just keep going wrong for one of us, and I'm worried we'll never be together."
Twilight nodded. "Science is about repeated experimentation and learning from failure. With enough trials and a willingness to analyze mistakes, you can eventually reach a local optimum. And if that isn't good enough..." She shrugged. "I can share some papers on parameter tuning for simulated annealing if you want."
Sunset let out a polite cough. "Another important part of science is collaboration. You and St— and the girl you want to date, you both want the date to be a success, right? So why don't you talk to her about what you're scared of, and then maybe you can both learn more about each other and realize that things don't have to be perfect all the time, as long as you love each other."
Wallflower rolled her eyes. "Why not make things perfect if I can?" She smiled anyways. "But you're right, I should just talk to her. Thanks!"
With renewed hope, she skipped out of the lab, eager to make plans for the future.
Wallflower woke up with her heart pounding so loudly she could barely hear her alarm clock.
Today was the day.
Today was the day she actually talked to Starlight, to work together and figure out how to end this farce of a self-imposed time loop. She just needed to keep reminding herself how much she liked Starlight, and how much she really wanted to move forward with her, to stop herself from chickening out.
Her hands were already shaking as she freshened up and changed into something nice for her visit to Starlight's apartment.
Just as she was about to leave, there was a knock at the door. "Wallflower?" A familiar voice called out. "It's me, Starlight."
Wallflower froze.
There was no way this was a coincidence. Something must have gone wrong with the conversation, and now Starlight was trying to stop it from happening in the first place. If only Wallflower could remember what had gone wrong.
She stomped her foot on the ground. This was so frustrating!
"Wallflower, please, can we talk?" Starlight's voice pulled her out of her thoughts, and Wallflower made her way over to the door.
"Hey, Starlight," Wallflower said, waving weakly. "What's up?"
At the very least, Starlight looked more uncomfortable than mad, so Wallflower probably hadn't said anything to piss her off. She also noticed that Starlight had one hand behind her back, the other one reaching out for her.
"Have we had this conversation before?" Starlight asked, and when Wallflower panicked and reached for her Memory Stone, Starlight's hand gripped her arm. "Please, I promise I won't use mine either right now if you say yes."
Wallflower considered pushing Starlight away. She could reset this encounter and wipe Starlight's memories of what had apparently been their previous conversation.
But then they'd just be stuck in this cycle forever, and Wallflower so, so tired.
"Okay," she said, relaxing her arm. "This is the first time I've seen you come over here. What did I tell you?"
"Nothing I didn't already know." Starlight smirked. "And I'm not telling you how long I've known so you don't know how far back to erase my memories."
"Maybe I'll just make you forget we ever met," Wallflower grumbled. "And we can just start over."
Starlight giggled. "I thought of doing that after I reset our last talk. It'd be a lot easier, huh?"
"Why don't you do that, then?" Wallflower asked.
"Because I like the you who cares about me enough to want a perfect first date," Starlight said with a warm smile. "The you who's willing to do anything to make sure we work out. I don't want to lose that by accident by going back too far."
"You aren't mad at me for erasing your memory?" Beneath her shock, Wallflower felt hope well up inside of her heart.
"Are you mad at me for resetting time over and over again?" Starlight countered.
Wallflower took a moment to think about her answer. "Well, yeah! A little bit! Who knows how many great dates I missed out on?"
"Zero," Starlight replies flatly. "That's why I made sure they never happened. It's just, every time it seems like things are going well I manage to trip over myself and do something stupid or say something insensitive or just straight-up have a mental breakdown in front of you. You drive me crazy, honestly, in the good way and the bad way." She sighs. "It doesn't help that I also started to wonder if we'd done any of the dates already and I screwed it up so bad that you already reset me."
"Nah, I only reset when I screwed up— you were always perfect." Wallflower pauses. "Which makes sense now that I think about it. Did you always know when I was doing it?"
"I can't be sure without comparing notes, but you start to notice the signs after a while."
Wallflower smiled at that. "Yeah, I know what you mean. And here I thought you were just a genius who never made mistakes with magic."
Starlight flushed. "Yeah, if I knew you knew, I'd have been more careful about that kind of stuff."
The two of them stared at each other in silence for a few awkward seconds. There was still the elephant in the room that needed to be addressed, but neither of them wanted to say it.
But then again, maybe they wouldn't have to?
"So, what happened before you reset time?" Wallflower asked, hoping that this conversation might already have happened. "What did we talk about?"
"Uhh, not much, to be honest." Starlight's blush intensified, and Wallflower couldn't help but find it adorable even when she was drowning in her current awkwardness. "I kind of panicked the moment you said you knew."
"Oh," Wallflower said, deflating. "I was kinda hoping we'd already had the talk we needed to have."
Starlight let out an awkward chuckle. "I wish. That'd be so much easier. I didn't even find out what you wanted to talk about in particular before I cast the time spell."
"Oh!" Wallflower perked up at that. Maybe they could still salvage this and she wouldn't need a do-over. "Right, so I was thinking, we both suck at making the perfect first date, apparently, but what if we worked together? We've both got a lot of experience by now, and if we're willing to share what went wrong, maybe we can make it work with, like, the power of friendship and stuff."
Starlight's eyes widened. "Wow, I never thought of it like that." She slapped her hand against her forehead. "Can't believe I didn't think of friendship and teamwork first. I'm really out of my game over here in this world."
"So you want to try it?" Wallflower asked, sticking her hand in her pockets again out of habit. If Starlight said no, they could try this again and she could suggest something else.
Starlight nodded. "I'd love to, Wallflower." She brought her other hand up from behind her back, making a show of putting away her time spell before reaching out towards Wallflower.
Wallflower shook her hand, putting all of her determination into the gesture. "Alright, let's do this, then."
"Wow, the stars are so bright tonight."
"Not as bright as the time we went to the observatory," Wallflower said as she walked down the street next to Starlight. "Did you get to experience that one?"
Starlight shook her head. "That sounds like it would've been nice."
"It was, until you tried to reset time." Wallflower smirked. "That's when I found out, by the way. Had to beat you to the punch so that I'd be the one that remembered."
"Uh-oh." Starlight laughed nervously. "I didn't say anything too bad, right?"
"I'd tell you, but then you'd reset the date, and I haven't gotten this far yet." Wallflower gave her a playful jab in the rib as she spoke. It really was nice how comfortable with each other they were already despite this being their "first" date.
"Wow, you never got out of the bookstore before?" Starlight replied.
Wallflower blushed. "Look, you're really pretty, and it makes it hard for me to think sometimes. You have no idea how many tries it took just to get out of the restaurant without me tripping up something."
And now Starlight was blushing too. "Aww, thanks. You're really pretty too, and I'm not going to admit how many times I've had to reset because you distracted me."
"I'll get it out of you eventually," Wallflower promised. "And you won't even know when I do."
"Good luck." Starlight reached out to grab Wallflower's hand. "Wow, I can't believe things are actually, finally going great."
"It's been the perfect night," Wallflower agreed. "Turns out, being able to try the same date over and over again was the answer all along. Wish I'd thought of it sooner."
"Yeah, well, it's a hard thing to bring up, I guess." Starlight paused, her expression growing serious. "I know we just joked about it, but if we're really going to go through with this whole dating thing, can you promise me one thing? If you do erase my memories again, can you tell me when you do? You don't have to tell me why, but I don't want you to hide that part of yourself from me anymore."
Wallflower didn't answer at first. It was a scary promise to make, giving up the ability to wipe the slate clean entirely. But, she loved Starlight, and love was about giving things up to make your partner more comfortable, right? "Only if you promise me the same thing."
Starlight nodded. "Deal." They both stopped as they reached the entrance to Wallflower's apartment complex. "So, is this it, then? Can we declare the date a success?"
Wallflower smiled. "Almost. There's only one thing missing from making this the perfect first date." She leaned her head forward, closing her eyes.
Before she felt Starlight's lips on hers, she heard her voice. "Hey, since we've already gotten this far, do you mind if we just reset from here? I think it might take a few tries to get this right, and I don't want to have to do the whole date over again."
"Sure." Wallflower reached into her pocket, feeling the cool, rough surface of the Memory Stone against her skin as she and Starlight kissed.
It took Wallflower five tries before she was satisfied. Afterwards, Starlight told her it had taken her six tries before she'd been okay with her own performance.
And at the end of the night, when they finally parted, Wallflower began making preparations for a second date for the first time in far too long.
"Man, we got a lot of good data out of this."
It was early morning in the lab, and Sunset was bringing Twilight her second cup of coffee. She glanced over her shoulder at the readings displayed on screen. "That's a lot of temporal disruption."
"So much for them learning to live in the moment and not regret the past, huh?" Twilight smirked. "Pay up."
Sunset rolled her eyes as she reached for her wallet and slapped a bill into Twilight's hand. "We really should tell them to cut it out. Time travel and memory erasure aren't exactly healthy for a relationship."
"But Sunset," Twilight whined, pulling her girlfriend into a hug. "We could learn so much about the long-term effects of repeated use of time magic and memory magic! When are we ever going to get another chance like this?"
Sunset sighed the sigh of the long-suffering. "One more week," she finally said. "And I mean it this time."
"Thanks!" Twilight pressed a kiss against her lover's lips. "So, want to go see if they want to grab lunch with us?"
"And have to sit there with them being all smug about not learning anything from their experiences?" Sunset wrapped her arms around Twilight and pulled her out of her chair. "No thanks. Let those two lovebirds enjoy their honeymoon phase; I'd rather have some alone time with you."
"And abandon our work?" Twilight asked with a mock gasp, even as she leaned into Sunset's embrace.
Sunset grinned and gave her a kiss. "Hey, you only live once."
