Revving the dual motorcycle's engine between slow and standstill, Sunset smoothly swung street corners. Stop signs every other block was pure annoyance. Still, it was the price to pay to make it to the freeway. Speeding with her new flame style would be so worth it. The sun's heat beat down on her gray helmet and summer-friendly black leather jacket. An extremely strong breeze wafted as she scooted around a one-hundred-miles-per-hour capable vehicle at twenty. At least the area was quiet, and her goggles protected her eyes. Her red-gold hair flopped about.
It was a nice average day, overall. Away from the craziness of her friends. Much as she loved them all, even Sunset Shimmer, with her newfound pinnacle of friendship and magic, between being a demon and sirens at school, needed a break. Eventually, the sweet sound of the highway went from faint to growing stronger. Daring herself a little, Sunset sped up just a tad bit beyond the limit to get there quickly. There wasn’t anyone in the way, or any cops to stop her. Just a little bit farther, a little bit more speed, and–
A white cat suddenly popped out from behind a trash bin, followed by a gray-skinned female after it, from seemingly nowhere. In a panic, Sunset slammed the brake and swerved so sharply that she banked her motorcycle into the driveway the cat had run from. Instinctively, with her Equestrian and fight-honed warrior training, she launched herself from the side before the motorcycle fell onto her. Sunset rolled into the grass as it skidded a flower bed, narrowly missing the house.
Checking herself, she was free from scrapes, though her bike now had plenty. Groaning, yellow hands supported their torso, their head feeling like a balloon.
“Well, so much for today’s plans,” Sunset muttered to herself.
A sudden voice bespoke beside her. “Oh my gosh oh my gosh, are you okay? I am so sorry! Sofia is ALWAYS trying to run away!”
Sunset popped up into a defensive pose but relaxed upon recognizing a fellow student. She straightened up and rubbed her wrists.
“Oh, hey Derps! Didn’t know you lived here, yeah a feisty cat can be-”
“You must be hurt, let me take you inside!” Derpy nabbed her still somewhat dazed schoolmate with surprising strength. Her crossed eyes glowed with worry.
Sunset’s resistance was quickly foiled as her legs played catch up. “But Sofia is-”
“Already got her!”
“But how you just-
The pair skedaddled through the front door, upon which Derpy grabbed and stuffed a still-peeled orange into an inquisitive mouth.
“Talking loses strength, eat now!”
Eyes bulging, Sunset suddenly found herself struggling to breathe as she began to chew upon the orange in whole out of respect for Derpy’s concern. Derpy forcefully sat Sunset down on the toilet and ruffled through the cabinets. As Sunset chowed down, the impromptu medic rolled up leather sleeves and slapped band-aids over the tiniest signs of flushed skin, no matter the unnecessariness of them. Derpy quickly ran a muffin-themed bush through crash-tangled hair in a rather quick fashion. Lastly, a hot towel was set on the survivor's shoulder for added comfort before Derpy ran off to fetch something else.
As the final touches were added, the last of the fruit was finally swallowed. She took a deep breath. No, make that, two. Never mind, ten total. Thirty-seven to be safe.
“Derpy, thanks for-”
Suddenly, the caretaker came practically running in with an exasperated look. “Quickly, I am almost late for work!”
“But, Derpy, there’s no-” Sunset was interrupted as her helmet was slammed and strapped onto her head.
Once more, Derpy’s grip strength overtook Sunset’s will and entire body.
“Everybody needs their mail, stat! Allonsy! Allonsy!” Her battle cry struck the air with fury.
Derpy led through Sunset through the maze of the first floor. Decorations and rooms blurred by. There was no time to pay attention to anything. The side door to the garage burst open as half the duo strode forth, and the other half stumbled along. With the flick of a gigantic phone booth shaped switch beside the door, the garage door rumbled to life and began to open. Little hesitation occurred, if at all, for Derpy to fish the keys from the hook to rev the engine of her yellow scooter. Slapping on a blue cap and buttoning on a postal-issued work jacket, she was all set to go.
Before she could sneak away, Sunset was dragged onto the seat as Derpy slipped in front of her. Derpy looked at Sunset’s widened eyes with a wild gaze.
“Hold on, Miss Shimmer!”
Instantly, Sunset grasped onto Derpy’s shoulders for dear life. And it was not a moment too soon. As soon as the human package was secured, the delivery scooter roared to life and zoomed forth into the world. The garage door was left open as all hell broke loose. Showing wanton regard, Derpy pressed down hard on the gas, speeding past several stop signs, parked cars, clumps of dirt, and other miscellaneous obstacles. This was a level of daredevilry not even Sunset dared reach. In no time, they reached the town center, screeching to a halt at the post office doors.
“Hurry, the mailbag!” Derpy instructed with fervor
Sunset spotted a scowl-posted postman lunging through the front door with a heavy black bag, presumably yelling through the glass. There was no time to spare a thought as to what she was even doing. Scurrying like a spider, boosting herself with discrete pockets of magic use, Sunset ripped open the front door. The man’s sounds were deaf to pounding blood in her head and sweat pouring on her forehead.
She nabbed the bag and flew straight back to Derpy with a pant and a shout affirming the mail was ready for liftoff. Quickly, Sunset swung the black bag over her shoulder and placed her arms around the driver. Not a second later, they sped off, the wind whipping at their faces. Since her goggles were not on, her eyes watered a bit.
The first stop wasn’t too far away. Somehow, without even looking at a single piece of the contents inside the dark duffel, Derpy instinctively knew where to go. Sunset chalked it up to a sixth sense. Experienced professionals had a strange knack for simply knowing things at sight. But this was a different level. Parcel in hand, Sunset jogged to the front door as her thoughts swirled. Derpy must have a higher sense of knowing, just like how P-
Before she could ring the doorbell, the wood blocking the entrance swung open to reveal a familiar pink face.
“Oh, hey Der-heeyeyyy you’re not Derpy!” Pinkie shouted. “Imposter!” She bounced around Sunset to inspect her.
Running in place, Sunset shoved the package into Pinke’s investigating hands. “Pinkie, take your party cannon or whatever this is, I need to go now!”
“Whatever you’re doing, you’d better not be replacing Derpy!” Pinkie warned with a look of suspicion, slinking back into her house. Then it snapped into a cheerful demeanor. “Good luck with whatever you're doing and why yes it IS a party canon, miniature-fiesta edition!”
Leaving the door hanging opening, Pinkie ran into the hall, mail overhead, shouting for Maud. With equal energy, Sunset ran back to the waiting scooter and hooked herself onto Derpy. The bag was an effort to carry with her.
“So, how did you know-”
“No time for chit-chat! That took too long for the first stop! We must go!”
“But that was barely-”
“Aht aht aht!” Derpy warned, producing an orange from nowhere. “Less talk, more productivity!”
Shuddering, Sunset simply nodded, plastered a huge and hopeful smile, and made sure to grip on extra hard. Not before refitting her helmet, that is, as well as tightening the bag on herself enough to constrict her breathing to a wheeze. She gave a thumbs up, a smile showing brightly. Derpy returned a smile in stead. Then she switched her laser focus to the road, having put the orange back to wherever it had come from. Sunset felt trickled with fear and excitement simultaneously as the scooter booted forth to their next destination.
For what felt like a tortuous eternity, Derpy chauffeured Sunset around town, delivering parcel after package after letter after delivery after order. To and fro, to and fro, throughout down they drove to go. At each stop, Sunset hurried to the doorstep, heaving all the way. No matter how much mail she delivered, it felt like the black bag never lightened. Derpy hupped Sunset to each and every porch and past every gate. Not a moment was given. It felt like boot camp all over again with the most paradoxically cheerful drill sergeant ever.
Sunset slogged her way back to the scooter, rolling her eyes at the snickering Rainbow Dash, who snapped a few pictures before heading inside with her new sports memorabilia obtained from EquestriaBay. Huffing and puffing, and hardly able to put her foot down, she slumped behind Derpy, filled with exhaustion.
“Please… tell me that we… are done… Derpy… my motorcycle is still…”
Derpy gave a stern look. “Are you kidding me? Shape up, because there is no shipping out until all items are shipped out!”
“But…” Sunset clutched her heart, struggling to hoist the bag onto the seat. “So… many… houses….”
“We’re not done yet, soldier! That was just the halfway point!”
“Derpy… I… need water…”
“Then why didn’t you say so!” Derpy’s face returned to helping glee.
Pressing a button, a small hatch popped up from inside the scooter’s side. Derpy’s lightning-fast hand grabbed a bottle of water from it and slipped it back in place. Before Sunset could hardly react, her companion uncapped the bottle, tossed the cap over yonder, and shoved the neck of it straight into Sunset’s parched chambers. Sunset’s arm awkwardly got ahold of the plastic gift. The bag’s weight pulled her neck down to further intensify the strange position. Just as she adjusted to the position, Derpy sped off to the next stop.
The pavement swept by and Sunset sat in limbo. Her elbows became the life thread by which she strung onto. Daring the Fates to snip them and cause them trouble. Meanwhile, her hands shook to hold the water bottle in place, and she gulped the precious liquid down her gullet. All the while, the cargo vital to Derpy’s job weighed on the neck. It was a balancing act. To top it off, it was constantly challenged by high-speed maneuvers on board a frantic motor vehicle with a driver of humorously lethal bliss.
Sunset strangled the last drop of water out as they arrived at their next step. It was a modestly sized large home with a lovely peach and lavender decor and paint. Not waiting for Derpy to bark, Sunset charged into the sidewalk, up the driveway, past the metal fencing, dug into the molasses-rate-emptying back for the package addressed to this address, not even bothering to look at the name, and rang the bell. Swaying in place, Sunset hoped she wasn’t wasting time at someone’s home who owned two cars, leaving one behind as if they weren’t home. Rarity didn’t even seem the type whose parents would need a second vehicle.
To Sunset’s shock, Principal Celestia opened the door, casually dressed in comparison to her state-of-the-art dress suit at school, with soft socks in place of sharp heels.
“Delivery for you!” She hoisted the small cardboard box out and onto her open, flat palms.
“Well, this is certainly a surprise,” the high-ranking teacher greeted in an amused tone.
“Enjoy your mail, Madam Celestia!” Sunset turned to leave, but a nail-manicured hand stopped her.
“You didn’t say hi to me, Sunset. Quite unlike you. This as well.”
Sunset turned around, turning red and flustered. “Well you, see Princ-I mean Principal Celesia,” catching herself before calling her the wrong title, “I did have a plan for this afternoon, and-”
Celestia cut her off with a wave of her hand. “I’ll make it quick, so I do see it is urgent. You’re being very nice to help Derpy today. She takes pride in her work, but it is quite a toil. I’m proud of how far you’ve come. Stay at it now.” With a coy smile, she took the cardboard and waved her student off.
Sunset took a quick bow; Derpy was already shouting to hurry it up. Hopping back onto what Sunset nicknamed the “Pony Express”, seeing as how she was technically a pony but in human form, an engaged Derpy powered the gas to fly off once more. Crossing history, magic, and realms led to weird results and funny ideas. The real mystery, here, though, was why she continued to help Derpy even though she didn’t absolutely have to. She had grown to be a much kinder person than she had been for years. Maybe it was in her nature to be kind now.
“Helllooooo? Anybody homeeee?” Derpy’s staring eyes and waving arms jump scared into Sunset’s consciousness.
“Ahhhh! I’m back! I’m back from staring off blankly!” Sunset shouted.
“Well, you’re five seconds behind schedule!” Now go go go go! Move it move it!” She sounded like a general ordering their regiments forth into a battle for the ages.
After a curt salute, despite the bag leaning her to the left, Sunset shifted all her attention to reaching the next customer as soon as possible. One ring, one greeting, one handing over, and one spurt back, and off it was to the next house.
“Let’s go Derpy! Onward, ho!” Sunset hollered, her hands briefly in the air with jubilation.
“That’s the spirit! Now hang on, Miss Shimmer!”
For the next couple of hours, the final round of deliveries became both a slog and a slur, depending on the moment. Between Derpy’s commands and greeting demands, no time to rest or take a breather offered itself after Principal Celestia’s residence. No one else, even those she or Derpy knew, needed to chat this day, it seemed. Bit by bit, Sunset’s body crumbled and crumpled into pure tiredness
Even so, Sunset kept up the arduous pace to help Derpy out. She probably needed exercise as is. In addition, three-quarters of the time was spent riding a type of motorcycle, which she had planned to do. Sunset’s motorcycle was still in Derpy’s flower bed. Small giggles escaped upon realizing she’d been having so much exhilaration as to forget that.
“Whatcha laughing at?” Derpy’s voice had to rise above the speeding scooter.
“Oh, just a joke I remembered.”
Right away, Derpy wanted to know. “Well, then tell me!”
“Uh….” Sunset struggled to grasp for one to make up for her half-truth.
“Hurry it up, or we’ll be late at our next stop!
A lightbulb exploded. “What do you call a star trapped inside a black hole?”
“Hmm…” Derpy’s face sweated with deep thought before she admitted defeat. “I dunno, what’s the answer?”
“I don’t know either. It’s not a very bright joke.”
Derpy exploded into laughter, barely able to brake at the next house. “Oh, that’s a good one Sunset! Ah hahaha hah heh he hahaaaaa!” She wheezed with apparent lung pain.
By the time Sunset returned from leaving the letter in the mailbox, Derpy had only mostly calmed down, barely restraining herself with a teary suppression. Sunset genuinely chuckled. Grasping onto Derpy’s shoulders once more, she gave a thumbs up. One nod of acknowledgment later, they roared back onto the streets. This was their turf now, the golden path of delivery to all who called up the goddess of postal, Derpy Hooves, to receive their wants and needs.
As the last several houses winded down, Sunset found each occupant had something to say, in a surprising comparison to literally the rest of the day before them.
Wallflower: ‘I’m keeping an eye on you, Sunset. Mess with the Derpy and you get my sneak attack herb! No wait, hold on, give me a minute to rework that one….
Trixie: “The Great and Powerful Trixie thanks you for your service. She generously offers you a two-dollar tip and a fifty-dollar donation for Overlord Derpy.”
Flash: “You keep having fun, I suppose.”
Twilight Velvet: “Twilight’s off on a science event, but I’ll let her know you said hi, and Derpy does as well.”
Fluttershy: “Uhm, hi, thanks Sunset. Now the turtles can relax all they want! Applejack finds it convenient to leave small stuff here. Tell Derpy, that, uh, I say hi, back, if you will, too, please. Eeepk!”
Each response was to be written in a scrapbook, whenever she got home. This was quite a day to remember.
Soon, they reached the last house, the very final one of their journey. Despite her willpower, Sunset could not muster herself to deliver the final package: a box of bricks, which was the one item that had been weighing her down all day. Only now was it possible to rid herself of the monstrosity. It was pure, delicious irony.
Even so, she had to try. With a weak step, Sunset finally stepped off the scooter and walked a step of pure triumph. Then her legs collapsed, tumbling her face into muddy grass and lightly scraping her palms as she stopped the fall. A groan was easily elicited.
“No soldier of mine gives up at the last possible moment!”
“Derpy, I literally cannot… step…”
“That’s no reason to give in, Miss Shimmer!”
Sunset spoke whilst tasting plant matter as her hands gave way too. “No, Derpy, I LITERALLY cannot move… owwww… it hurts… everywhere…”
“If you cannot move, then I must assist you!” She set the scooter into the park gear.
“Derpy, wait a moment…”
“We finish it together, then, as a team, Sunset!”
To Sunset’s awe, Derpy lifted Sunset with only an ounce of herculean effort. Not even the box of bricks in the bag now hanging off of her was a bother. With Derpy supporting her every movement, Sunset began their treacherous quest of the long and winding path to the final destination. Over the Mud Jungles Of Grassy Horrors, they passed. Onto the Barren Plains Of Paved Rock, they walked. Through the Gates Of Athena’s Garden Brick Wall, they passed. Up the Slopes Of Never Ending Torture, they endured. Up the Mountains Of Weathered Stones, they climbed. Finally, in the Temple Of The Ora-bricklayer, they met and vanquished their last foe.
Derpy posed Sunset’s hand so that she could press the doorbell. Weakly, she did. A rightly concerned elderly man met and took his box but with very few words. It was clear to Sunset that he had seen very many things in his long life. Two teenage girls, one uplifting his box of bricks, smiling in a manner fairly described as overly creepy in its manner of happiness, were least among them. After he shut his door, Derpy let out an enormous hurrah. Sunset accompanied by a weaker but equal hurrah.
This time, Sunset clung weakly to Derpy as they began the way back to Sunset’s current residence with some friends. The now empty black bag hung on the handlebars as a monument to their conquest. For once, Derpy drove slowly. Both needed a rest after a difficult, rough day of Saturday mail. It was also well within the speed limit, too, Sunset noticed. By a stroke of fortune, cops never spotted Derpy or bothered ticketing her if they did. Instead, they chose to give a friendly wave. One mile over the limit and they were all over Sunset.
Eventually, the scooter bumped its way into the inner city and stopped in front of an apartment building with a garage complex on its side. Derpy pulled into a designated parking spot on the roadside. The engine, after many hours and a near-empty tank from so much use, growled into silence. The duo walked to the stairs in front of the complex door. Sunset sat down to rest a bit before going in.
“Fun day, eh?” Sunset chuckled a bit.
“Indeed!” Derpy exclaimed. “A most wonderful morning and afternoon!”
“I am so tired… sorry to ruin the moment.”
“Not a problem! It takes years to build the endurance required.”
That made sense to Sunset. “Makes sense why you’re strong.”
“Puh-lease!” Derpy scoffed. “I can hardly lift the tray of a printer at school!” Her infectious smile beamed.
“Then how come you... eh, never mind.”
“So, now what?” Derpy asked, face blank.
“I could help you next Saturday? I need to exercise. Am free too.”
“Oohhh, sounds like fun!”
“How do I contact you?” Sunset asked.
Derpy shelled out a business card and placed it in Sunset’s shirt pocket. “And that’s personal, favorite client’s only number!”
“Uh, sure, that works.”
“Later then!”
“Already, Derpy? Quick convers-” An orange in her mouth cut off her voice, causing a gag reflex.
“And you’d better keep up your food and water, Miss Shimmer!” Derpy suddenly went into master mode. “I am not helping you as much next time!”
Sunset nodded, mumbling, grinding through the orange peel.
“Later then!” Derpy abruptly switched back to nice mode and skipped back to her scooter.
And with that, as Derpy drove off, and her eyes dropped from a day of work, Sunset realized four important things in a flash.
One, she had a crush, out of the blue.
Two, she had asked for and gotten her crush’s phone number–sort of.
Three, she had just arranged a date, odd a date as it may be.
And four, her dinged-up motorcycle was still in her new crush’s flower bed. All the way across town. Probably being claimed by a pesky white cat named Sofia.
Sunset felt warmth in her heart. As well as annoyance. Good thing she could call Derpy for a ride.
And ask her for another orange.
Author's Note
This was so worth the lost sleep to write in just a few hours, all before work.
