I Forgor 💀

by RunicTreetops

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Romance, Anon, Comedy, Derpy Hooves
Length: 2025

Derpy has something really, really important that she needs to do tonight! Uhh... what was it again?

After a hard day's work at the post office, Derpy Hooves has a list of errands she needs to take care of. After all, she has to be ready for tonight!

...If only she could remember what it is she needs to be ready for!

Published 2023-06-01 21:50:00 UTC
Last updated 2023-06-01 21:50:00 UTC

I Rember 😃

Derpy lets out a contented sigh as she steps out of the post office. With her mailpony uniform covered in sweat and her mane a bit of a mess, she takes the opportunity to stretch a little bit and calm her nerves. It was a very long, very busy day at the post office, and although she loves her job, she's very tired right now. Her house is on the other side of Ponyville, so for now, she decides to take a seat on a nearby bench to rest her hooves. She reaches into her saddlebag for her bottle of water, but as she pulls it out, she notices a wrinkled up piece of paper stuck to the side of it. She tilts her head at it quizzically.

"Huh? That's weird. Did I forget somepony's letter?"

Peeling the paper off of the bottle and taking a quick swig, she does her best to iron out the creases and see what this paper is all about. She gasps as she realizes that it's her own hoofwriting. This is her list of errands that she needs to get done before coming home tonight, because tonight is super-duper important! That's right! Tonight is... it's...

Wait, what's going on tonight?

Derpy frowns to herself and scrunches up her nose as she thinks. She knows for a fact that tonight is really important, but... was she excited for it? Nervous about it? What exactly is it that she has to do? And why does she need to run these errands? She decides to take another look at the list. Maybe the things she has to do will give her some sort of clue.

Let's see here...

Pick up order from Rarity.

Buy one raspberry muffin (DO NOT EAT).

Get home and look nice before 7:00 PM!

Okay, that's... not a lot to go on. Each item is confusing in its own way. What did she order from Rarity, again? Why does she need to buy a raspberry muffin NOT to eat? And while the third item makes it seem like whatever is happening tonight is going to happen at 7:00, why does she need to look nice? Is she going somewhere?

Oh well. If the note says so, who is she to argue? After all, it's already 5:30 now, so she needs to get a move on! Without any further hesitation, she packs back up and sets off towards the Carousel Boutique.

After arriving at the boutique, Derpy tries for the cute little door handle, only for the door to not budge. Looking at the nearby sign, she realizes that the boutique closes at 5:00 PM, and she was just a bit too late. She lets out a grunt and gently knocks herself on the head with a hoof. Argh, darn it! It's the first thing on the list and she already messed it up! Why does this always happen to her?!

"Ah, Mrs. Hooves! There you are!"

"H-huh?" Derpy looks up and has to take a step back, realizing that Rarity is standing in the now-open doorway, her silhouette outlined by the light shining from within the boutique. "O-oh. Sorry, Ms. Rarity, I didn't realize you were closed already."

"Closed? Darling, you were the one who told me that you'd be showing up late today! I have your order right here!" Rarity hands over a fairly large gift bag, closed shut with a nice little bow. "I must say, you're quite lucky these measurements haven't changed. They gave me quite a challenge the last time I worked with them, and if the waist was even a single inch larger or smaller, it would have been an ordeal."

"H-haha, right!"

Derpy has no idea what Rarity is talking about. What did she order, again? Apparently she had the forethought to tell Rarity that she would be late, but she forgot she did that, too.

Er... all's well that ends well, right?

"Thank you, Ms. Rarity! I really need to get going, though!"

"Right you are! You don't want to be late!"

"I sure don't!"

If only she could remember was it is that she doesn't want to be late for.

Derpy licks her lips as she looks over the counter inside Sugarcube Corner. Sweets and baked goods of all kinds litter the shelves, and the smell is absolutely incredible. Of course, her attention is focused mostly on the nearby tray of muffins. Those things look really, really good...

She lightly smacks herself across the face. No! Bad Derpy! Just finish the errand! "DO NOT EAT," remember?!

"Hello, Mrs. Hooves! You're in a bit later than normal. I take it you want the usual?"

"N-no, Mr. Cake. I'll have... um..." She glances at the muffin tray as sweat begins to form on her brow. "I-I'll have a single raspberry muffin, please."

"Ooo, nice choice! Luckily for you, we just made a fresh batch!"

Mr. Cake turns around and heads into the kitchen, returning a few moments later with a basket of fresh muffins. If it smelled great before, Derpy is in scent heaven right now. She practically starts drooling before she shakes her head. Come on, Derpy, keep it together!

Mr. Cake places a single raspberry muffin into a small paper bag and slides it over the counter. Derpy trembles as she hands over her bits.

"Well, if that's all, I hope you have a nice evening! I imagine you'll probably want to be getting home soon!"

"Y-yeah! I'm going straight there!"

With a nervous laugh, Derpy tears herself away from the counter and sprints out of the store. She will not be tempted today, darn it! Stuffing the paper bag into her saddlebag, she takes to the sky and starts flying home.

She may not know what it is she has to do, but she's going to get it done, darn it!

After making it inside her quiet house, Derpy tosses her saddlebag and the gift bag on the kitchen table and quickly makes her way to her bedroom. She neatly folds her uniform and puts it away before heading to the bathroom to wash up. She has no idea what she needs to "look nice" for, but she certainly can't do that while she's all sweaty or has a frazzled mane!

After finishing her shower and going through the long drying process (ponies take forever to dry, after all), she glances at a nearby wall clock. 6:50 PM. It's almost time. Derpy turns to her small vanity and takes a seat, reaching into a drawer and whipping out her makeup.

...She has no idea what she's looking at. Sure, she has makeup, but unless one of her friends is dolling her up or something, she never really wears it. She doesn't actually know how to apply any of it beyond the bare minimum, plus she finds it really, really uncomfortable to wear. She looks at herself in the mirror. As she does so, she notices one of her eyes veer even farther off course than it usually does, and she sighs in disappointment. She was never all that confident in her appearance. In fact, she was never that confident with any part of herself. With a memory like hers, how could she be? Whatever it is that's going on tonight, she doubts that it's going to turn out well.

Suddenly, she hears her front door creak open. Her eyes go wide as she quickly stuffs the makeup back in the drawer and departs the bedroom, descending the stairs and rushing to the front door. Suddenly, everything clicked.

"Hey, muffin! How was your day?"

Standing in the doorway is Anon, the only human in Equestria. He is much taller than her, but he looks down to meet her gaze and gives her the warmest smile she's ever seen. Every time he does that, she practically swoons.

After all, he is her husband. And today...

"Happy birthday, Anon!"

"O-oh! Thank you!"

That's right! Today is Anon's birthday! With a single flap of her wings, she shoots into the air and wraps her hooves around him, nuzzling her face into his neck. In return, he wraps his arms around her and holds her tight, giving her a quick kiss on the head. The two stay like that for a moment before Derpy lets go.

"Here, Nonny, I got you something!"

Her mind now clear of all doubts, she quickly turns and trots over to the kitchen table to fetch the gift bag from Rarity.

"For me? Aw, sweetheart, you shouldn't have!"

The two take a seat at the table as Anon carefully opens the bag. His smile widens as he reaches inside and pulls out a perfectly tailored suit, custom-made for his human form and exactly the right size. He laughs as he notices that it even comes with a bright red tie.

"Do you like it?"

"Like it?! Muffin, this is incredible! Did you get Rarity to make this?"

"Yeah! She said she already had your measurements, so I hope it fits okay."

"Haha, well, since she's the only pony that can make human clothes for me, I'm not surprised. I'm sure it'll fit great. Thank you so much, dear. I love it!"

"That's not all, though!"

"Oh?"

With a cocky grin, she pulls out the small paper bag and slides it to Anon. He looks at her with a knowing smile and opens the bag before his expression turns into a mixture of confusion and amusement.

"Uhh, muffin?"

"Surprise! A raspberry muffin! Your favorite kind!"

"Uhh... haha, yeah. Er, look sweetheart, I don't mean to ruin the moment, but... this bag is empty."

"What?!" She takes the bag back from him. Sure enough, nothing is inside except for a few loose crumbs and the lingering scent of those delicious muffins. "N-no! Where did... what happened to it?!"

Anon lets out a chuckle.

"Here, let me check something real quick."

Anon gently takes the bag from Derpy, getting her attention as he does so. She looks up at him right as he cups her chin with a hand and locks his lips with hers. Derpy's face starts to turn bright pink as he does so, and she happily returns the kiss. The two stay like that a few tender moments before Anon backs off again, the smile never leaving his face.

"Hehe, the taste of it is still on your lips, dear."

"W-what?!" Derpy's ears droop as she realizes her mistake, having likely fallen to temptation and then forgetting that she ate the muffin. "I-I'm so sorry, Nonny! I didn't mean to-"

"Hey, hey! It's alright! Besides, I think it tasted better that way."

He gives her a wink, making her face turn an even deeper shade of pink. The two have been married for the better part of a year, and they were dating for a long time before that, but he still makes her heart flutter so easily. It's not fair!

"Well, that's it, then. That was all I had..."

Derpy turns her gaze to the floor in embarrassment.

"Are you kidding? Derpy, getting to spend the evening with you sounds like the best birthday ever. Besides..." She looks back up at him as he rubs the back of his neck, a sheepish smile plastered on his face. "I kinda forgot it was my birthday."

"Really? You forgot your own birthday? You should really try to keep track of important stuff like that, Nonny."

"Haha, yeah, I probably should!"

The two share a laugh as the evening continues. Derpy might not be the most elegant or well put together mare. She also might not have the greatest reputation or have that much self-esteem. On top of that, she certainly does have a tendency to be forgetful. And yet, in spite of it all...

It's times like now, when she is reminded of just how much she is loved, that she knows she will never, ever forget.

Author's Note

Have I ever mentioned how much I love Derpy? She's great.

As always, I appreciate any and all feedback!