Weird Wednesday

by Jest

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Tirek, Comedy, Queen Chrysalis, Cozy Glow
Length: 4919

Cozy Glow, Tirek and Chrysalis go back in time in order to ensure that they take over Equestria. All that stands between them and complete victory is... Discord?

Cozy Glow, Tirek and Chrysalis go back in time in order to ensure that they take over Equestria. All that stands between them and complete victory is... Discord?

This is Part Of My Birthday Extravaganza! Make sure to check back throughout the day for more new stories!

Minor mentions of adult themes and language.

Published 2023-06-01 20:50:03 UTC
Last updated 2023-06-01 20:50:03 UTC

This Time, We Will Win!

“Augh. How much longer is this magic doohicky going to take? We’ve been at it all day,” Cozy Glow whined.

“Correction, Tirek and I have been working all day,” Chrysalis spat. “You have been sitting around whining and distracting us.”

“Which has only made the entire process take longer,” Tirek added.

Cozy Glow groaned and slumped down the rock she had been sitting on, landing on the cold floor of the cave. Illuminated by a couple of torches, and without any natural light, it was difficult for the filly to judge how long it had been. The enormous dizzying runic array painted on the floor nearby wasn't much help either but given its complexity it had to have been a while.

“So is it going to take much longer or what?” Cozy Glow muttered, her jaw resting on the ground.

“It should only take a few more minutes. We just need to triple-check the wards,” Chrysalis muttered while studying the array.

“Triple check? Come on, now your starting to sound like that annoying purple pony with the ego issue,” Cozy Glow retorted.

“Don't you dare compare me to that repugnant pony princess,” Chrysalis shot back, glaring at the filly.

Tirek stepped forward and looked down at Cozy. “Would you like to end up stuck in the body of one of those ponies forever, hmm?” Tirek asked pointedly.

“Well no, but-”

“Would you like to get trapped in the past, unable to return to this time?” Tirek pressed.

“No, but-”

“What about getting sent adrift the pocket of reality that exists between time and space for all eternity and then some? Would you like that to happen to you?” Tirek continued.

“Alright alright. You made your point,” Cozy Glow muttered in defeat.

“With a spell of this level, a little redundancy is required. Such as the return mechanism which will trigger once the spell detects that we have done enough to secure our victory or we say the return phrase,” Chrysalis began.

“Which is, ‘walla walla Washington’, by the way,” Tirek added.

“I thought we weren't going to tell her that. Now she's going to screw it all up,” Chrysalis whispered loud enough for everyone to hear.

“There is always the chance that we get incapacitated and she's the last one left,” Tirek replied.

“Augh I won't screw it up unless this takes another hour in which case I’m going to mess things up out of spite,” Cozy Glow stated.

“Noted,” Tirek murmured.

“Alright, we should be ready. Make sure to stand on the designated circle,” Chrysalis declared, pointing to the three bumps at the edge of the array.

“Wait a second, who are we replacing anyway and when is this all happening?” Cozy Glow inquired.

“During our first attack on Ponyville, remember? The time we were going to hypnotize everyone and make them our slaves with that amulet,” Tirek replied.

“Oh right. That was a good one. Right up until they deployed all those mirrors,” Cozy Glow muttered.

“Don't remind me,” Chrysalis added. “Now let's get in position before I start clucking like a chicken again.”

The three did just that, with Tirek and Chrysalis moving first, and Cozy Glow reluctantly going to the one remaining spot. The two casters then began to work their magic, pushing their unique auras into the ground and causing the circle to start glowing. Magic filled the air, and soon a faint almost electrical hum could be heard slowly building around the three of them. Cozy Glow watched as her fur started to stand on end, and the smell of burnt ozone wafted across the room.

“Wait, who am I replacin-” was all she managed before the spell was completed, and the world shifted.

A split second later and Cozy Glow found herself lying face down on the ground, her head spinning. Her legs felt too long, her wings were mysteriously absent, and something comfortably uncomfortable was resting atop her head. Groaning, she pushed herself upward and looked around at the pair of grinning faces gazing down at her.

“What the hay do you want?” Cozy Glow muttered, only to pause. “Wait don't tell me I’m that country bumpkin.”

“Well, hay now partner, that's no way to talk about yourself,” The alicorn, Twilight Sparkle mocked.

“You wouldn't want your brother husband to hear that kinda talk,” Fluttershy added with a cruel smirk.

Cozy glow, now in the body of Applejack, groaned. “Let me guess. Tirek is in Twilight Sparkle’s body, while Chrysalis is in Fluttershys?” Cozy half asked, half stated.

“I did always want to get under this one’s skin,” Chrysalis remarked.

“I can't believe you didn't want to be Twilight Sparkle,” Tirek replied, lighting his new horn. “She has such powerful magics. Such devastating potential, wasting it on friendship should be a crime.”

“Face it Grandpa, you just wanted to be inside Twilight Sparkle,” Cozy Glow shot.

“I did not, at least not like th-that!” Tirek stuttered, his face turning several shades of red.

“Twilight is nothing. I mean just look at Fluttershy,” Chrysalis stated, striking a seductive pose with one foreleg extended, and sultry gaze peering out from behind her curtain like mane. “If she wasn't a cowardly weakling she would have half this town at her beck and call without even having to be a changeling.”

“You are both hopeless horn dogs,” Cozy Glow muttered. “Let's just get this over with and do whatever it is we need to do.”

“Right,” Tirek agreed, clearing his throat and extending a hoof. “As you can see we are at the outskirts of Ponyville on our way to have tea and wait for the rest of our so called ‘friends’.”

Tirek made sure to add air quotes to the last word, though Cozy Glow didn't even notice. She was busy looking around, noting that Tirek was indeed correct, as the trio were standing at the very edge of town. Behind them lay a dirt road leading back towards what was probably Sweet Apple Acres while before them was the target of their attack, Ponyville.

“All we need to do is go somewhere private and tie ourselves up,” Chrysalis remarked. “Which should be easily done. I’m sure even that ditz Twilight has a dungeon somewhere in her castle.”

“Augh she is not a ditz,” Tirek retorted.

“Why are you defending her all of a sudden? Don't tell me you plan on staying in her body,” Chrysalis spat, the former changeling glaring intently at the ex-centaur.

“N-no. It's just she’s a lot of things,” Tirek began. “A sniveling do-gooder, a goodie two shoes, a waste of magic and potential, but she's not a ditz. It's important that your insults have some modicum of truth to them lest you end up looking silly.”

“Augh, he's been a mare for less than five minutes and already shes annoying the piss out of me,” Chrysalis muttered.

Tirek snorted. “Are you done undermining my masculinity? Or are we just going to sit here quibbling and wasting time?”

“Quibling? You're even talking like her,” Chrysalis pointed out.

“Wait,” Cozy Glow interrupted. “What about Discord? He was instrumental in our defeat but only showed up when it was time for him and Fluttershy to have tea.”

“That won't be for another hour or so, we can easily get ourselves tied up by then,” Tirek dismissed.

“But won't he just immediately undue everything? He can just snap Fluttershy over to him if he thinks she's in danger or if he's bored,” Cozy Glow pointed out.

“Good point. We should leave him a note beforehand so he doesn't go looking for her, slash me,” Chrysalis agreed.

“Fair,” Tirek grumbled. “We should go there quickly lest we run into him.”

“Agreed,” Chrysalis stated.

Together, the trio headed towards Fluttershy’s cottage, with the changeling inhabiting her body leading the way. When they neared the possessed mare’s place of residence, Chrysalis turned around and held up a hoof, stopping them in their tracks.

“You two should stay somewhere nearby, but hidden just in case someone shows up,” Chrysalis warned.

“Why? We are all friends aren't we?” Cozy Glow retorted, adding an unpleasant emphasis to the word friends.

“Yes but you two can't act like your respective ponies to save your life,” Chrysalis spat.

“I can too!” Cozy Glow declared, pausing to clear her throat. “I’m Applejack, howdy howdy howdy.”

“Well at least you got the howdy part down pat,” Chrysalis murmured.

“Yes, though your understanding of the country colloquialisms could use more work,” Tirek began in a tone frighteningly close to Twilight's. “Though you should consider studying the real Applejack’s mannerisms a bit more closely as your exact parlance could again, use a bit of work.”

“Did the spell fail? Are you Twilight again?” Cozy Glow asked in disgust.

“No it's me, you idiot,” Tirek spat.

“Putting aside Tirek’s disturbingly good Twilight impression. It wouldn't make sense for you both to be there. Just go hang out by the bridge or whatever and make sure I’m not bothered while I leave a note,” Chrysalis stated, gesturing to the bridge that lay only a few meters away from them.

“Are you sure you don't want me to do it? Unlike you I can put aside my disdainful urges for at least a few minutes,” Cozy Glow offered.

Rather than answer with words, Chrysalis turned and hissed in Cozy Glow’s face for several seconds. She then stomped away, glaring at any animal that dared meet her gaze.

“On one hand, you probably shouldn't have insulted a shapeshifter’s ability to replace someone, on the other you were right,” Tirek remarked.

“Augh shut up Twilight,” Cozy Glow muttered while wiping her face free of spit.

Chrysalis walked inside and kicked the door shut behind her, trotting angrily into the kitchen in search of paper. After finding none, she began opening drawer after drawer, only to find cutlery, as well as numerous varieties of animal feed.

“Rabbit food, dog food, cat food, northern hairy-nosed wombat food. Rhinoceros feed?” Chrysalis stopped and picked up a bag marked with a grinning rhino on the front. “Why would she even have this? It's not like there are any rhinos in Ponyville.”

Chrysalis shook her head and dropped the bag back into a drawer before slamming it shut. She was then about to continue her search in the living room, only to be stopped by a rabbit standing in her way. The furry critter had his paws crossed over his chest, and he glared up at Chrysalis with hate in his eyes.

“What do you want?” Chrysalis spat.

Angel opened his mouth and then pointed at the back of his throat.

“You want me to give you a tonsillectomy?” Chrysalis asked.

Angel seemed confused for a moment before angrily shaking his head and miming the action of eating something with a fork.

“Oh you're hungry,” Chrysalis muttered, pulling open a drawer. “Then allow me to get you something to eat.”

The time-displaced changeling opened a drawer, pulled out the bag of rhino feed, and tossed the thing at the angry rabbit. Who had a split second to yelp before being buried in the enormous bag, his indignant squeals quickly becoming unrecognizable.

Chrysalis chuckled darkly to herself as she walked into the living room, her gaze immediately latching onto the coffee table.

“Augh I walked right past it,” she muttered to herself.

Sitting down on the couch, Chrysalis dragged over a pen and a pad of sticky before starting to write.

“Dear Discord…” Chrysalis began, only to immediately stop. “No, that's too formal.”

“Maybe just Discord,” offered a voice.

“That's probably the best… wait a second,” Chrysalis spun around to find that the eponymous draconequus was standing right behind her. “What are you doing here? Tea time isn't for another hour!”

“Well, you see there was this big blast of magic a few minutes ago so I just had to come early to make sure my bestie Fluttershy wasn't getting drawn into some ridiculous shenanigans again,” Discord declared, picking Chrysalis up and crushing her in a bone-shattering hug before suddenly dropping the pony back onto the couch. “At least not without me around to point and laugh that is.”

“I am touched by your concern,” Chrysalis muttered bitterly, a hoof smoothing out her mane after it had been thoroughly ruined by the over-eager lord of chaos.

“Actually that was just my paw, not my concern,” Discord replied.

Chrysalis groaned.

“So whatcha writing about?” Discord asked, extending his neck so far that he could look right over Chrysalis’ shoulder. “Don't tell me you were going to professor your feelings for me.”

“No,” Chrysalis retorted, a bit too quickly. “I was going to apologize for canceling our tea time as something came up.”

“Don't tell me it was lunch that came up. You did always get a bit queasy after drinking tea,” Discord quipped, the draconequus chuckling at his own joke while his neck recoiled back into his body.

Chrysalis shuddered in disgust, her body reacting violently to the barrage of ‘humor’ directed at her.

“Twilight required my help with something, so if you don't mind. I was going to cancel our tea time,” Chrysalis began again.

“That explains why she's spent the last few minutes watching us from the window. Here I thought she had decided to take up a hobby as a voyeur,” Discord remarked.

“Wha-” Chrysalis murmured, turning to the window just in time to see her two-time-displaced companions duck out of sight.

“Those idiots,” Chrysalis muttered.

“Gasp!” Discord said aloud. “Fluttershy, my dear dear friend. Why would you call your close, personal friends idiots?”

“I umm actually said… Cypriot, not idiot,” Chrysalis murmured. “I was thinking about uh… animals.”

“From Cyprus?” Discord asked.

“Yes! From Cyprus,” Chrysalis murmured.

“Hmm, you do think about animals a lot,” Discord concluded. “Well, I suppose if this magic thing is that important then you should go do it now. We wouldn't want Twilight to do something really stupid like say, go back in time and mess with the past all because she got her butt kicked by a couple of goodie goodies.”

“Uh yeah. Wouldn't want that,” Chrysalis muttered. “Now if you will excuse me.”

“Of course, of course!” Discord declared, patting the ex-changeling on the back. “I don't wanna bug you or nothing.”

Chrysalis awkwardly walked away, the pony giving Discord one last strained look from the door before leaving. Less than a minute later and she had passed over the bridge, her companions emerging with concerned looks on their faces.

“How did it go in there?” Tirek asked.

“Good. I think,” Chrysalis muttered.

“You think, or you know?” Cozy Glow pressed.

“I… I know,” Chrysalis stated. “Discord is just being Discord. He can't know about our plans.”

“I mean he is the god of chaos you know,” Tirek remarked.

“Let's just get on with it,” Cozy Glow declared.

Chrysalis nodded, joining her partners in crime as they made their way back to Twilight's castle. There they entered through the front door, their hooves light as they maneuvered around the kitchen where Spike was making a snack. After avoiding the dragon, they wandered around for a few minutes before unexpectedly locating a set of stairs leading down.

“Her dungeon must be down there,” Chrysalis declared. “Let's go.”

With Chrysalis taking the lead, the trio made their way down into the depths of Twilight's castle. Only to quickly realize that it was growing darker, and there didn't seem to be any switches or torches to help them.

“Why is it so dark down here?” Cozy Glow whispered.

“Because it's a basement, duh,” Tirek retorted.

“Why are we stumbling around in the dark when Tirek has a horn on his head?” Chrysalis shot back.

There was a moment of silence before Tirek’s horn ignited, banishing the darkness and revealing a blushing pony as well as a dungeon. Only, it wasn't quite the kind of dungeon that they had expected to find in the basement of the princess.

“Holy-” Cozy Glow began.

“-shit,” Chrysalis finished.

Tirek merely stood there, slack-jawed, staring at the walls of whips, chains ball gags, and other even more inappropriate items all around him. Amidst it all was a wooden horse, with a flesh and blood horse strapped to it, the pony wearing blinders as well as a gag. Though the majority of her body was covered in thick black leather, the trio could see the three diamonds adorning her flank.

“What do we do?” Tirek whispered.

“Why is she wearing that thing on her tail?” Cozy Glow muttered.

“Shhh,” Chrysalis hissed.

“Mmph mph?” asked the bound pony, her head twisting this way and that, attempting to look at them, but was unable to do so.

“This can't be happening. Twilight is so pure, so kind. She would never have a slave,” Tirek muttered in distress.

“What? Why are you so… never mind,” Chrysalis spat. “Let's just leave and try something else.”

“For once I agree with Chrysalis. This whole thing is making me have funny feelings,” Cozy Glow murmured.

“No this has to be an error. I’ll free Rarity and prove that Twilight is not some horrid deviant,” Tirek declared.

“Wait, stop,” Chrysalis hissed.

But it was too late, Tirek had removed Rarity’s blinders, and unfastened the belt that kept the gag in place. The moment she was freed, Rarity turned to Twilight, a look of confusion crossing her face, one that grew the moment she saw Applejack and Fluttershy were there. Then, the wrinkled lines of worry and fear vanished, a smile replacing the baffled expression she had a moment earlier.

“Ahh, so you did invite them to join your harem after all,” Rarity proclaimed. “Good for you mistress. I knew you could do it.”

“What? They aren't- you aren't, we were just…” Tirek stuttered.

“Golly. This isn't the library,” Cozy Glow exclaimed, a hoof on her cheek.

“Uh yeah. I thought we were going to the library, Twilight. What are we doing down here?” Chrysalis added.

“Thank goodness you freed Rarity from whatever villain had tied her up down here,” Cozy Glow stated with a grin.

“Library? So you are not here to join Twilight's harem?” Rarity asked.

“Twilight doesn't have a harem!” Tirek shouted.

“I see you have been spending far too much time with concubine Trixie. Her unique vernacular seems to have infected your lexicon,” Rarity muttered in disgust.

“Wait, Trixie too!?” Tirek shouted.

“You must forgive Twilight. We can talk about… this,” Chrysalis gestured at Rarity. “Later. Right now we need to do some research. It's an emergency.”

“Yeah. So… take off all that junk and let's go to hit the books,” Cozy Glow added.

“Oh my, is Ponyville in danger?” Rarity asked while magically removing the restraints holding her down.

“Uh yes! It's very urgent. We better hurry,” Chrysalis pressed.

“Lead the way darlings,” Rarity declared.

Chrysalis pushed Cozy Glow and Tirek towards the stairs, following after them when it was clear they were actually heading in that direction.

“What do we do now?” Cozy Glow whispered.

“I’ll distract her once we get to the library, you hit her over the head with something heavy,” Chrysalis replied.

“We should use a truth spell on her. This is probably some ploy by another villain to stain Twilight's good name,” Tirek whispered.

“Shut up, simp,” Cozy Glow retorted.

“What was that darlings?” Rarity inquired.

“Nothing,” Cozy Glow hastily shot back.

“The library is that way,” Rarity corrected.

“Right. We knew that,” Chrysalis muttered.

They turned in the other direction and made their way to the castle library in no time. Vast, and filled with more books than the numberless shelves could contain, it was almost labyrinthian in its depth. It would have been imposing had it not been for the large windows on the opposite wall which allowed the group to look out over Ponyville.

“So, what are we looking for?” Rarity inquired.

“I think it's over here,” Chrysalis exclaimed, winking to Cozy Glow.

Who nodded, and ran off into the stacks, vanishing from sight.

“Wait, Rarity. Are you a changeling? You have to tell me if you are, it's illegal not to,” Tirek implored.

“I am not a changeling. Why? Do you want to roleplay the Canterlot attack again? You did make for a very dashing Chrysalis,” Rarity exclaimed, batting her eyelashes at the other pony.

“Wait, what?” Chrysalis muttered. “You know what, I don't have the headspace to untangle that right now. Let's just focus on saving Ponyville.”

“Right, of course. Lead the way,” Rarity exclaimed.

Chrysalis hastily trotted over to one of the large windows, and looked around, picking a book out at random.

“Okay let's start our search here. In the uh… romance section?” Chrysalis murmured.

“Twilight had it installed for the anniversary of our little relationship first blooming into what it is today. Isn't she a dear?” Rarity purred, nuzzling Tirek.

“Yes, she's amazing. Why don't you find us your favorite book,” Chrysalis implored.

“I’m not sure how that would help but I always cherish the opportunity to talk about the adventures of a one, Quin Harley,” Rarity eagerly declared.

Chrysalis grimaced, and looked around, eager to find out if Cozy Glow had found something heavy. Which she had, as the pony was carrying a large bust of Celestia over her head, ready to bring it down on an unsuspecting Rarity. The stone Celestia rose higher into the air, only for an explosion to rock the entire building.

“Shit,” Cozy Glow cursed, the bust slipping from her grasp and hitting the ground, bouncing out of sight.

“What was… oh my. Ponyville really is in danger,” Rarity murmured.

All three time-displaced villains turned to the window, following Rarity’s gaze to where two Discords were visible. One was completely normal, and completely bound by rope while the other sported a thin, well-greased black mustache. Regular Discord struggled to escape his bindings but was unable to free himself from the utterly plain-looking brown rope.

“Struggle all you want, my goodie two shoes double but you can never escape my special rope!” evil Discord declared in a comically bad French accent.

“You may have bested me, fiend but the elements of harmony will defeat you!” Normal Discord shouted back.

“That is where you are wrong, my inferior double. I am unstoppable! Mwahahaha!” Evil Discord declared, his cackling punctuated by the crack of thunder that came out of nowhere.

“If only I could get to the super secret evil Discord defeating amulets I hid in the romance section of Twilight's library,” normal Discord loudly declared..

“Even if they do find your very smart, and cool backup plan I’ll have already enacted my evil plan and turned all the clouds in Equestria brown!” Evil Discord exclaimed.

Rarity gasped. “That fiend. We must stop him before he ruins sunsets forever!”

“Uh yeah,” Chrysalis muttered.

“Are we really doing this?” Cozy Glow murmured.

“Yes!” Tirek declared. “We must defeat Discord quickly so we can get back here. Oh and Rarity, just curious but you haven't recently been hypnotized or convinced to drink any strange potions, have you?”

“Not since that thing we did last Monday,” Rarity replied, flashing Tirek a wink.

“How horrible!” Good Discord interrupted. “They better grab the book marked super secret backup plan and quick!”

“Hurry everyone, let's find this book,” Rarity exclaimed.

“A little lower,” Discord yelled. “More to the right, there you go.”

“Aha. I have it,” Rarity declared.

She popped open the book to find that there were six amulets inside.

“Wow they look almost exactly like the elements of harmony,” Rarity remarked.

“Only with a grinning golden Discord on each one,” Cozy Glow muttered, lifting one of the pieces of jewelry up to reveal that was indeed the case.

“Come on everyone, let's go save Ponyville and Equestria!” Rarity shouted before charging off.

“So do we just ignore him or what?” Cozy Glow asked.

“If we don't then he's just going to keep getting in the way,” Chrysalis replied. “We better play his little game so we can get back to our plan.”

“Alright,” Tirek declared, placing the discorded element of harmony on his head. “Let's go kick some villain butt.”

“Hmmm, I love it when you say stuff like that,” Rarity purred.

“Augh let's just go,” Chrysalis muttered.

With Rarity and Tirek taking the lead, the quartet of world savers trotted out of the castle and towards the center of town. There they noticed Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash already waiting for them, one staring up at the sky in confusion while the other was eating popcorn.

“Oh hey, there you guys are. Pretty cool huh? I always told Dissy that he needed to spice things up and start multiverse hopping,” Pinkie Pie proclaimed.

“That can't really be another Discord, right? I mean, we’ve seen Discord make hundreds of copies of himself,” Rainbow Dash replied.

“But never one with an evil mustache before,” Pinkie Pie pointed out.

“True,” Rainbow Dash admitted.

“Either way we must defeat this villain lest he end up ruining romantic sunsets forever,” Rarity proclaimed.

“Augh let's just get this over with,” Chrysalis muttered. “Put these on and blast him.”

“Ooh neat. They look just like the old elements,” Pinkie Pie remarked.

“Yes yes. Now let's focus everypony!” Tirek exclaimed.

Together they formed into a loose wedge formation, with Tirek at the head.

“Oh no, they’ve found the legally distinct elements of discord! No, I am undone!” Proclaimed Evil Discord.

“Great job girls. Now blast him back to his home dimension!” Good Discord declared.

“Augh I think I’m getting a migraine,” Chrysalis whispered to herself.

“Does anyone else feel like vomiting?” Cozy Glow muttered.

“Come on girls, let's kick this guy to the curb!” Tirek bellowed.

“Yeah!”

“Let's get him!”

“Ra ra, fight the power!”

Energy surged from the six amulets, and flew up into the air, forming into a rainbow of light. A rainbow that morphed into a grinning Discord that flew down, and punched his mustachioed counterpart. Who then flew threw the air with a dramatic “No!”, only for his cry of defeat to vanish the moment he disappeared through a portal.

“Thank goodness you were here to save me!” Discord declared, the lord of chaos tossing aside the rope like it was nothing. “You six really are the most reliable heroes in all the lands.”

“We are pretty awesome,” Rainbow Dash agreed.

“Is that it? It hasn't even been twenty-two minutes yet,” Pinkie Pie murmured.

“Oh I can assure you, he is defeated,” Discord proclaimed. “And don't worry he isn't so foolish as to try again. Every Discord knows that time travel is a terrible idea.”

“What kind of rules are there anyway?” Rarity added.

“Oh oh is it back to the future rules? Or maybe Bill and Ted? I sure hope it isn't Terminator logic or blech, Donnie Darko rules,” Pinkie Pie remarked, sticking out her tongue in disgust.

“Actually the rules are pretty simple. Any major changes to the timeline create an alternate reality,” Discord explained, a pair of comically large glasses appearing on his face. “These major shifts are enough to create a split or divide that makes it impossible for the time-displaced individual to return to their own reality.”

“So if evil Discord went back he’d just end up stuck here anyway, but then we’d have to fight him again still right? Or would we have already done that?” Rainbow Dash frowned. “This is making my head hurt.”

“He’d probably stop existing the moment his actions began rippling across this new reality, severing his connection to his home timeline,” Discord answered.

“What if he came back in the body of say… Pinkie Pie?” Tirek asked.

“Oooh that would be cool. Chaos powers!” Pinkie Pie proclaimed, throwing her popcorn in the air and pretending they were fireworks.

“Oh, he’d end up stuck in that body forever. He might even lose all his memories, essentially becoming the person he inhabited,” Discord answered. “Which is pretty scary when you think about it.”

“Ego death does sound rather unpleasant,” Rarity agreed.

The trio of villains shared a look before as one, they shouted.

“walla walla washington!” at the top of their lungs.

As the world began to swirl, and the spell began to return them to their own timeline, Discord smirked.

“Suckers.”

Author's Note

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