Twilight Had a Pony for Dinner
Twilight had a pony for dinner.
A pony had disappeared. The pony was old, without family to notice.
They tasted nice, the flowers from Prance. Not quite as good as the main course, though.
Twilight Sparkle, favored of the Princess and above the law, had been the last to see the pony, who returned an overdue book to the Castle library and had gotten an earful.
Twilight was quite full afterward. Which was strange, because usually meals weren't so filling. But when having a friend for a meal, Twilight always felt fuller. Although, she chuckled at a foolish joke to herself--she was not quite as full as when she cleaned wool with Rarity.(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fulling)
The book had had a lot of rips. And scribbles--wretched annotations, interpolations.
Pinkie Pie, Twilight's meal companion, was quite a fool. She wasn't full, Twilight reflected. Pinkie usually filled up on sugars rather than complex carbohydrates and she'd only drank her sugary concoction--hadn't touched her food. Sugar provided energy but not fulfillment. She always bounded off everywhere, a bundle of vitality that crashed and snored ineffectively until another hit of sweet sticky stuff saturated a stomach.
Twilight Sparkle had been enraged and exchanged harsh words. The pony would "Never live to check out another book!"
Piesweetcluckin' it was called. A three-layer delectable that unlocked a mystery of flavors. Crusty pie stuffed with a figurative vomitorium's-worth of sweets and sugar-coated eggs, thus the cluckin'. In this meal, though, there'd only been one huge egg.
Twilight Sparkle had once laid hooves on a vagrant who drooled on a book, body-checking the mare. Twilight got the vagrant medical attention and connected with social services. But the fact remained--she had laid hooves on the mare.
Pinkie, before her eyes rolled back in her head, had asked Twilight some strange questions before bloody reddish caramelized liquid poured from their fare. Where had Twilight been at twilight when Twilight premiered last week at the Twilight festival in the town of Twilight Autumn--a kirin outpost mare'd by Autumn Blaze after recent troubles with her homeland?
A kirin pony was the next to go missing. Not Autumn, but another kirin on the outs with her nation. Autumn plastered up posters.
"Pinkie, I almost feel like you're investigating me. It's like when you jumped to conclusions on the train with the confectioners. And I haven't done anything--ha-ha."
Twilight Sparkle had been studying kirin anatomy the day after the disappearance.
With dead eyes, Pinkie stared, saying nothing.
Blood had been found on the library's threshold.
Kirin blood. Pinkie and Autumn had analyzed it in the party lab. One part sugar. One part spice. Eight parts ash. Pinkie cleaned the centrifuge carefully that night.
"You heard the news?"
Twilight Sparkle had organized a search. Had insinuated herself into all aspects of the investigation. And nothing was found.
Nothing.
Twilight shivered. "Fluttershy found a new animal, you know, a Ponyeater--scientific name Mannulus Annihilus. I asked to study it since it's so rare, and with the disappearances it's clearly a suspect, but she wouldn't let me. She said it was easily spooked and offended and had been locked up for a while but it could easily escape if I opened the door. Has she mentioned it to you? My books on it are missing, so I sent for more. I don't recall much about the creature--I wonder how it gained its unfortunate name?" Twilight smiled beatifically.
Blood had been discovered in Twilight's back garden. Only Pinkie knew.
Not a peep from Pinkie. Her eyes narrowed and Twilight turned away, hiding her mastication.
Filthy... Pinkie wished she hadn't known.
"I'm not sure how I feel about this," Twilight commented after finishing her half of the pony.
A pony cannibal wouldn't be upset about eating a realistic-looking-pony, extra bloody.
"Have my half," Pinkie offered, "It's chewy. Like flesh. Real messy too."
Twilight chewed over her response. "What you... generously provided to me was... full of protein... Complex layers of flavors--crunchy and full and hot. Alluring, pleasing, but a bit complex." Her stomach rumbled. Stuffed, but queasy.
She was good at disguising her feelings.
Pinkie stared at her, long and hard.
Something didn't add up. Either the entrapment was wrongheaded, or...
Twilight excused herself and thanked Pinkie for the meal, ambling away bursting full from the partially-consumed Piesweetcluckin' Pinkie had prepared in the shape of a pony.
Pinkie's culinary plan had been excellent, though surprisingly difficult to execute. All market eggs had been sold. But Pinkie had found a big one, lying near Twilight's castle, in some bushes being searched for more evidence.
*******************
Pinkie crossed Twilight's name off her list and put on her detective's cap. "So, Twilight is probably NOT the cannibal I've been tracking. Hmm. Humm. Hrmm."
Pinkie's list had many names. "But what if the culprit isn't a pony?" She added Fluttershy's latest animal acquisition to her list.
"Fluttershy?" Pinkie asked. "Where's your Ponyeater?"
"It's... gone." Fluttershy frowned. "I bought up all the extra-large eggs at market trying to find it. And locked them in the basement. Just in case."
"Because..."
"Because it contorts itself to resemble an egg when it's hiding. It's quite shy when it's sleeping during the day. Nothing wakes it."
"Could it have eaten those ponies?" Pinkie asked.
Fluttershy hung her head. "Yes. It wasn't supposed to get out. But it was gone. When I looked."
Pinkie blinked.
"I studied its excrement. There wasn't anything pony-ish in it. But..." Fluttershy trailed off.
Pinkie followed her gaze to the bookshelf, where there was a tome on Ponyeaters.
They read it.
"The Ponyeater absorbs all aspects of its prey and integrates organs into its inner membrane, wrapping a heart to supplement its own. A brain intertwined."
There was a drawing of an egg. Oversized.
Pinkie left Fluttershy's and pulled out her list, circled the Ponyeater and noted. "Eaten by Twilight." Then, beside the missing kirin and pony: "Eaten by Ponyeater. Piesweetcluckin'ed and eaten by Twilight."
She rubbed her belly. "Glad I filled up on sweets."
Author's Note
Mood Music: Here.
Can't get enough food?:
TMizz Pie's "Mindless Gorefest" :o (!)
Pinkie Pie prepares something "healthy" and delicious while half out of her mind at three a.m.
SparklingTwilight ·
1000 words
· 17
3 ·
455 views
And, by Estee (Whereas our story here examines the pony version of turducken (warning: if meat may make you nauseous, do not click the link), the U.S.A. Super Bowl "holiday" food, Estee examines the excesses of another holiday):
TDonuts Not Of This World
The Cakes have inadvertently summoned an eldritch horror from beyond space and time to destroy the world. Again. Because they do it every year. And now Pinkie has to waste yet another night in battling against the tentacled results. (Stupid holiday.)
Estee ·
8.3k words
· 201
11 ·
1.9k views
My other entries this year in the Thousand Words contest:
I Can't Ask Fluttershy Out
ASMR with Fluttershy
