Sun had Set too Soon
A candle sits atop a desk, freshly made with a fire that burns brightly in the darkness, but the darkness is cold. The wax melts slowly and the candle's light begins to fade, but it goes on strong for many years, adamant to shine for eternity.
One day, a pair of sharp green eyes pierce through the insurmountable darkness and crept toward the candle with menace, its choking breath threatening to extinguish the candle's bright light.
With each seething breath escaping the creature's unnatural maw, the flame would lessen. At first, there was fear within the creature, of the candle's burning flame, but as the torment continued, the creature began to gain courage against the flame it feared.
The candle, desperately fighting the creature's unyielding tenacity, began to grow small and weak, its once bright flame now sputtering like a dying ember. The creature's courage mounted, and it was able to reach out a dirt-ridden, broken claw and surround the candle's waning light.
Its demonic emerald eyes glared balefully at the dying flame until... it closed its creaky claws on the flame, attempting to snuff out what little light the candle shone.
The flame struggled feebly to persist, trying to fight back against this horrid nightmare creature, but the strength of the candle's flame wasn't enough, and, slowly, it faded, and darkness filled the void where the light once shined.
The creature watched the candle with dark satisfaction, now melted and small, collapse from the desk and onto the cold, black surface. Then the creature slunk away, its piercing green eyes fading as it ran deeper into the shadowy unknown.
It was early morning. The sun had barely risen and the halls of Canterlot Castle were vacant with the only sound of hooves filling the silent halls with their resounding clop. But they sounded heavy and dragged as if the pony was exhausted.
An alicorn strode forward in solemn silence with her head bowed gloomily. Her beautiful magenta eyes, which would shine bright in the sunlight, were dark and glossy, and black rings had formed under her eyes as if she hadn't slept in many moons. Her pristine white coat which was always expertly groomed was matted and dull, and her long flowing rainbow mane barely moved on its own and seemed to have lost much of its gorgeous luster.
The alicorn no longer wished to care for herself, and when some of the royal staff tried to assist her, she would send them away silently with a lame flick of her dull tail. She wanted no pony to touch her. Not her sister, Twilight Sparkle, or Raven Inkwell. All she wanted was to be alone. It had gotten to a point that Princess Luna and Princess Twilight Sparkle had to share the alicorn's neglected toils, but they never complained.
The depressed alicorn halted and raised her head to view a white door standing in front of her. This is where she wanted to be. This is where the sadness originated. Before she would move on, before her toils would swamp her in more meaningless work, the alicorn desired to enter the room.
Princess Celestia raised a trembling hoof to grip the knob and twist it to open the door, but she hesitated. She was afraid of finding what she knew was true. She imagined that he was still there, snoring like an Ursa Major, late to his duties, and hearing him sputter awake as she called out his name in mock anger.
Princess Celestia chuckled lowly; she loved to tease him every day. She remembered how she would make excuses to escape her demanding job in an attempt to see him roaming about the castle. She adored seeing his bright, smiling face beam with happiness each time he saw her. He would make Celestia's daily toils just a bit more tolerable. But then reality crashed around her and Celestia found herself drawn from her thoughts as her smile faded.
Letting out a silent sigh, Celestia willed herself to turn the knob and open the door. What lay behind the door was to be expected, though she had wished it wasn't. There was nothing but a bed next to a window where the light from the sun bled through, and a small chest that lay untouched in a corner of the room, gathering a thin line of dust.
Celestia let out a low, raspy titter. There was so little in this room that it was nearly impossible for anypony to replace the guard's belongings. He was so sweet and humble; all he needed was a bed and a small chest Celestia gifted to him for silly occasions such as celebrations. Anything else he would rush out and get himself so he wouldn't inconvenience somepony.
Princess Celestia entered the room and felt a warm presence lingering in the air as fresh grief flooded her glass heart; she could still feel him even though he was gone. She stepped lightly as she made her way to his bed and gazed down. It was messy and unmade as the day he left it. A memory flashed before Celestia's eyes of the first time they met.
It was a warm evening in Ponyville. Princess Celestia had arrived to visit her former pupil Twilight Sparkle to see how she was faring in her duties as the Friendship Princess, and the alicorn was glad to know her former student did her new duty with effortless enthusiasm.
By the end of her visit, Celestia and her advisor, Raven Inkwell, who accompanied the sun princess, were trotting out of Twilight's crystal castle when she saw a young colt swinging a cardboard sword in the air as if fighting an invisible enemy.
Between listening to Raven detailing what they should do next according to a schedule and watching a cute colt playing, Princess Celestia chose to watch the colt. He was peach-colored, his eyes were a bright blue, and he had a white mane and tail. He shouted at his enemy with such a raging passion Celestia couldn't help but be impressed.
"Take this, evildoer!" he squeaked in mock anger, leaping barely a hoof off the ground to go for a head smack. "Haha! That will teach you to mess with me! As a soldier of the sun princess, I will protect her with my life. Have at you, knave! Yah!"
Celestia watched with amusement glimmering in her magenta eyes. He was "protecting" her from a horrible, evil monster, and he was doing a good job. Celestia let out a chuckle, drawing Raven Inkwell's attention.
"Are you listening, Princess?" Raven asked, but all she got was a nod from Celestia. "And you aren't."
She turned her eyes to where Celestia was looking and saw the colt playing by himself. Then she heard a gasp come from Celestia as the colt tripped and fell to the ground, his eyes watering. Raven Inkwell opened her mouth to speak, but Princess Celestia rushed over to the colt and helped him up.
"Are you okay, little one?" the alicorn asked worryingly. "Are you hurt?"
The colt looked up and saw Celestia and gaped his mouth with amazement. "Princess Celestia!"
The alicorn smiled. "Yes, it is I, ruler of Equestria. Are you hurt anywhere?"
The colt shook his head quickly. "No, I'm fine. See?!" He scrambled to his hooves, but then he let out a small squeak of pain and turned to see his left hind leg had a small scrape.
Princess Celestia let out a small sigh and used her magic to heal the scrape. A white light appeared over the injury and when it faded, so did the colt's injury. Then she leaned down and kissed where the wound had vanished.
"You should be more careful when defending my life," she told the awestruck colt who gazed at her with his big blue eyes. "I was watching you, and I'm happy to know that such a brave young colt would defend my life with such passion. I'm very thankful you taught that bad guy a lesson they will not soon forget."
"I...I uh, I," the colt stammered bashfully, but then he shook his head to calm down, albeit just a little. "I-I am a...a soldier in your, uh, your service!"
Princess Celestia smiled widely. "Maybe one day you will become a great and loyal guard," she told him.
The colt leaped to his hooves and bounced with excitement. "It's my dream to be a guard!" he told the alicorn, almost making her reel back with his ardent shout. "I'll protect you from all the bad guys in the world! Just wait!" He picked up his cardboard sword and saluted.
Celestia had to stifle a snort of amusement as the sword bonked the colt on the head. Feeling playful, Celestia conjures a cardboard sword with her magic and kneels to the colt. "Let's play together," she said, sounding excited. "We'll fight the villains, side by side!" She turned to see Raven tapping her hoof on the ground, but the earth pony said nothing, silently agreeing that Celestia had some time to fool around.
"Yes!" the colt squeaked loudly, but then he gasped in horror and gripped his cardboard sword tightly. "Watch out! We got timberwolves!"
Celestia nodded, feigning seriousness. "Come, my guard!" she announced. "Let us defeat these evil monsters!"
"Yeah!" the colt squeaked, letting out a cute battle cry as he and Celestia went into battle.
A single, soft pillow lay at the head. Celestia bent down and pressed her muzzle against it gently and inhaled the sweet, comforting scent she had longed so much for. She felt her heart split in two as if a claw had raked it. She held the pillow and pressed it close to her chest as she mourned his absence.
Memories began to flood her mind of the day her beloved stallion became a rookie after signing up to train to be a royal guard.
It was midday in the middle of fall when the wind blew a brisk chill and the clouds offered a shade-filled sky. Princess Celestia was sitting on her throne with Raven Inkwell standing a few hoofsteps away murmuring to a pony about something or another. Celestia wasn't paying attention, instead gazing at a squad of five strong, fresh trainees, who saluted before her at the base of the stairs that led to the throne.
Another pony, one dressed in iconic gold and white armor, stood in front of the group of stallions with a steely glint in his eyes as he introduced them to their princess. Celestia made it mandatory for her to see every single new batch of trainees so she could remember their names and faces.
All of them were stone-faced as usual, except for one, and Celestia knew exactly who it was. It was Jay Blaze of Ponyville, the colt-now-turned-stallion she had met during one of her visits to see Twilight. Ever since they met, Celestia had made an effort to visit Ponyville to see him specifically rather than her former pupil; a connection had formed between them. There was something that had drawn the alicorn to Jay Blaze, something that made her want to see him grow and achieve his goal to be a royal guard.
Interestingly enough, when it came to one of the higher-ranking members of the royal guards seeking a fresh batch of new ponies to train for the next generation, Princess Celestia had suggested Jay Blaze. A month later there he was, standing with a face full of pride and happiness at being given the sublime opportunity with the word of the princess supporting him.
Celestia gazed at Jay Blaze fondly as he returned the gaze with a brief, barely-contained smile and an excited flick of his tail as the high-ranking guard finished the introductions.
Princess Celestia says, "I am pleased to have brand new faces gracing the halls of this castle, and I will watch your training with joy and gratitude."
At the end of the day when the sun turned the sky red, Princess Celestia was sitting in the royal garden sipping tea with Jay Blaze, who had just arrived after his superior told him that she desired his presence. They both embraced one another lovingly before breaking away.
"How was your first day of training?" Celestia asked Jay Blaze expectantly. "Did you find it challenging?"
Jay Blaze nodded, casting a pained but prideful glance at his four legs. "Painful," he began, "but exciting. I'm a little stiff from the drill sergeant's training, but I'm getting along okay so far." Jay Blaze puffed out his chest. "I finally have the chance to serve you with all I have, and I couldn't be happier!"
Princess Celestia brushed her long tail down Jay Blaze's back and used her magic to heal the stiffness in his legs. "You need to be in top shape every day," she told him, her heart swelling with joy. "You can't do that if you become too stiff. Come see me at the end of every day in the royal garden, I'll treat any pains you may have."
Jay Blaze dipped his head, relieved to have the pain in his legs vanish. "I'll do that," he promised with a salute. "I'll become the strongest, bravest, most loyal guard you will ever have!"
Princess Celestia gave him a gracious smile. "I know you will, Jay," she whispered, brushing her muzzle against the side of his neck. "I know you will protect me. You are destined for great things. Work hard, my wonderful guard."
"Only two years of bravery and loyalty, gone far too soon," Celestia lamented, her voice cracked and dry from lack of use. She buried her tear-stained face against Jay Blaze's pillow. She trembled as if she was deep within the pale wastes of the Frozen North, desperately seeking some kind of warmth but finding none.
As Celestia wept silently, the sound of hooves from behind made her look at the entrance to see Raven Inkwell, her advisor and close friend. She was outside the room shuffling her hooves uncomfortably, unsure whether or not she should enter.
Jay Blaze's room was only to be entered by Princess Celestia after she had learned of his death and was stricken with grief. If anypony wanted to go in, they'd need Celestia's permission, but knowing how hard Jay Blaze's death shook her, no pony asked and no pony dared to go in.
Celestia turned away from Raven, only indicating that the mare could enter with a small flick of her tail. She heard slow, unsettled hoofsteps and knew the mare was afraid to approach her.
"What...do you want?" Celestia rasped, stifling a cough, her body trembling with the effort.
The days that followed after Jay Blaze's death have been unkind to Celestia: She hardly ate any food brought to her, causing her to look gaunt and ill. She barely slept; she was plagued with the nightmare of Jay Blaze's death, and since she used a spell that prevented her sister Princess Luna from entering her dreams, she had suffered.
It took several seconds until Raven spoke. "This...needs to stop." She flinched at Celestia snapping her head to glare balefully at her.
"I am not ready," Celestia hissed through gritted teeth, her dull, hollow eyes alight with anger and sadness.
Raven gulped and stood her ground, forcing herself to not glance away from Celestia's burning gaze. "It's been four weeks since...since Jay Blaze died," she whispered sadly, her ears drooping. "Princess Luna and Twilight can't handle their duties and your own for much longer; they are falling behind. This has to stop. Jay Blaze wouldn't want th-"
"STILL YOUR TONGUE!" Celestia roared, using the Royal Voice to pin Raven Inkwell to the ground.
It was rare for Princess Celestia to express anger so openly, even when great enemies arose to threaten her kingdom. She was always so composed and calm, having mastery over her emotions, but the absence of Jay Blaze shattered centuries of practice.
Celestia's chest was heaving as if she was struggling to breathe and her eyes were wild with fury. But then, like water over a fire, Celestia's seething rage that had boiled over had suddenly begun to weaken to a dull ember, and she found herself unable to stay angry. She looked down at the trembling mare and felt a sharp pang of guilt.
She crouched to meet Raven's fearful gaze and said, "I'm so, so sorry... I do not know what came over me. Forgive me, Raven. I did not mean to shout."
Able to rise to a sitting position, Raven glanced warily at Celestia. "I know," she murmured. "It's the pain you've been holding inside spilling out. I may not be able to feel the exact pain you're in, but I grieved for Jay Blaze too. He was a good guard, one of the best, and he died doing his duty."
Memories flooded the alicorn's rattled mind, and the lance of grief plunged ever deeper into her weakened heart.
It was a dark day; clouds of gray stretched throughout the sky, blotting out the rays of the sun and its warmth with a cold breeze. Princess Celestia was fidgeting on her throne with Raven Inkwell at her side, trying to calm her down.
"There is no need to be so rattled, Princess," Raven consoled smoothly, her coat brushing against Celestia's in an attempt to soothe her. "These things happen, but they aren't cause for such restlessness. Jay Blaze and the others will be back soon."
Princess Celestia sighed slowly, her hoof over her chest, feeling her heart beating quickly. "I know, I know, but the threat of timberwolves always worries me," she murmured, casting a withering glance at her advisor. "I'm more worried than usual now that Jay Blaze is out there."
A report came in about a surge of timberwolves causing a disturbance around Ponyville. No pony was surprised; timberwolves attacking Ponyville was a common occurrence since the village is situated close to the Everfree Forest. It happens five times a year, and no pony was in real mortal peril since the response to mete out the wolves was so quick.
A patrol of royal guards would be deployed to deal with the threat by sending the wooden canines back to the eerie forest where they belonged. If anything were to happen, a well-trained guard was liable of getting a few bites or claw scratches maximum. Despite this, Celestia always sent them out with a warning of caution; death was always a factor.
Celestia was apprehensive when Jay Blaze was part of the patrol to get rid of the timberwolves. She had wanted him to stay and guard the castle where he was safe, but Jay Blaze's insistent pleas for wanting to join the patrol won her over in the end, and she allowed him to go.
Now after an hour of waiting, Celestia was getting antsy. Her wings trembled, her tail twitched, her eyes were wild with a mounting fear, and she tapped the floor with her hooves. She was thankful for Raven's comforting words, but she couldn't stop thinking about Jay Blaze. She wanted him to come home so badly, and the wait was torture.
Princess Luna was there with Twilight Sparkle, who was visiting at the time. All three mares tried to alleviate Celestia's worries about Jay Blaze. She knew she was overreacting; all of the royal guards have had their turns in this mission. It was just Jay Blaze's turn.
With the constant assurances from the other mares, Celestia was able to calm herself down enough to stay still. Thankfully, the wait hadn't lasted long as the patrol entered the throne room and presented themselves to Celestia, saluting. Immediately, she noticed how bruised and battered the guards looked. Claw marks ran down their flanks and necks, tufts of their coats were missing, and some looked a little wobbly on their hooves, yet they still stood alive and breathing. However, there was one other thing she noticed.
A pony was missing.
Before she could say anything, Briar Sweep, the leader of the patrol, spoke. "The timberwolves have been sent back to the Everfree Forest," she said, her voice strained and tired. "Ponyville is safe."
Princess Celestia nodded. "I thank you and your patrol, Briar Sweep; you all did a great service today. All of you may rest for the next few days." She saw the patrol looking relieved, and then she smiled. "Where is Jay Blaze?" she asked Briar Sweep nonchalantly. "I saw that he didn't enter with the rest of your patrol."
Briar Sweep stiffened and didn't answer immediately. Instead, she looks unsure and gazed at the other guards, who shook their heads. Raven Inkwell, Princess Luna, and Twilight looked confused.
Celestia didn't seem to notice. She chuckled, saying, "Did he stop at Donut Joe's again?"
Briar Sweep swallowed and shook her head, casting her glance down to her messy hooves. "No, Your Majesty."
Celestia arched her brow before rolling her eyes. "Did he gallop straight to his quarters for a quick nap? That would be like him!"
Again, Briar Sweep shook her head and answered, "No, Your Majesty."
Celestia was perplexed. "Then where is he? Why is everypony so quiet?" She turned to Luna, Twilight, and Raven and saw that their eyes told the alicorn they realized something she hadn't.
Unsettled by their gazes, Celestia turned back to Briar Sweep and her patrol and saw how downcast they all looked. She thought the patrol was just tired, but something more was there.
"Where is Jay Blaze?" she asked again. She saw Briar Sweep shuffle her hooves and grit her teeth as if answering her was difficult.
A sharp prickle of fear clutched Celestia's heart as it began to beat quickly. Why weren't they saying anything? What did the other three mares realize? Why was everything so quiet? Where was Jay Blaze?
"Why didn't he come back with you?" she murmured, her voice beginning to crack.
With great effort, Briar Sweep looked at her ruler. Celestia saw a deep sorrow within those eyes. "He... Jay Blaze is dead."
No pony spoke. A soundless shock rippled throughout the throne room. All eyes turned to Princess Celestia, who stared blankly at Briar Sweep.
"What?" Celestia's voice was barely audible. "How?"
"Jay Blaze was killed by a timberwolf," Briar Sweep choked out, her body trembling with shame and grief. "He received a deep gash that rent his throat, and he bled to death. His body is being buried in Canterlot Cemetery as we speak. I...I-I'm sorry."
Celestia hardly heard the mare. Something inside her broke. She shifted her eyes to the floor. It was getting hard for her to breathe, as if she was surrounded by choking black smoke, trying to catch her fleeting breath. It was getting cold, the freezing chill seeping into her trembling bones.
"Dead?" Celestia echoed, her vibrant magenta eyes growing dull and dark. "Jay Blaze? He's...gone?" She rocked back and forth, the floor swaying under her hooves. She felt sick with grief so powerful it overwhelmed her.
Memories of her and Jay Blaze flash like lightning in her mind, burning into ash and being swept away in the cruel wind chill: Her first meeting with Jay Blaze as a colt. His training to become a royal guard. Achieving that goal. Serving her with naught but a merry smile and an endless supply of love and passion for her safety, and everything in between.
Celestia had watched him grow into a stallion. She was there for his birthdays. She comforted him when he was feeling sad. She reveled in his achievements. And he returned those feelings tenfold. He was always there whenever she needed him, or when he needed her. He always heeded her call with effortless enthusiasm.
But now he was gone. She wasn't there for him in his final moments. He had died alone and scared. Celestia pictured him calling out her name into the acrid, blood-fouled air, writhing and choking on his own blood, calling for her to help him, to save him, but never coming. He needed her, and she wasn't there.
Guilt swamped her coat. She had allowed him to go. She had sent Jay Blaze to his death. She stumbled forward and began to crumple to the ground; Celestia's strength had left her.
"Celestia!" called a voice. It was Raven Inkwell.
Celestia felt something struggling to keep her upright. The shuddering breaths of Raven and Twilight Sparkle bathed her muzzle, but she found that she couldn't care. She heard Princess Luna taking charge, ushering the crestfallen patrol out of the throne room.
"Princess Celestia," Raven murmured. Her vision was suddenly filled with her advisor's tear-streaked face. Was she sad too? "Princess Celestia, it's going to be okay!"
Celestia didn't answer. She whimpered and trembled uncontrollably. All she could think about was Jay Blaze. Tears streamed down her face like a dam bursting; her vision blurred until she couldn't see anymore. She was suddenly exhausted; she keeled over, falling unconscious. That last thing she heard was her name being called.
It was her fault Jay Blaze was dead.
"How can I move on without him?!" Celestia wailed, forelegs clutching Jay Blaze's pillow as she reared her head back. "I have known him ever since he was a colt. I have lost so many good ponies, but Jay? How could I lose him like this?! Why is it that all the ponies I cherish are taken away from me when I am not ready to let them go?!"
Raven Inkwell brushed her coat against Celestia's to give her some semblance of comfort. "He was strong, confident, reliable, helpful..." She paused before continuing. "He was sweet and handsome. He had a smile that could brighten anypony's day. He was so, so wonderful..."
Celestia forced back her choking sobs the best she could. "He was eager and happy; a beacon of light in the ever-vast stretches of darkness. Jay Blaze," she wailed. "Jay Blaze!"
"This needs to stop," Raven said softly. "I know it hurts, but Equestria needs you... I need you."
"But how?" Celestia pleaded, sniffling. She cast her dull eyes toward Raven. "His absence wounds me so much! How can I move on without him?!"
"You need to stop blaming yourself for his death," Raven said with trepidation. "Jay Blaze knew the risks. He died doing his duty, and we can't sully his memory thinking only of his death. We should think about his struggles and achievements instead; we both need to think about the times he made us happy. You can mourn as much as you like, but you know Jay Blaze wouldn't want you to linger on like this."
"But it was my fault he's dead!"
Raven cast a sharp glance at Celestia. "No, it isn't. Jay Blaze's death was unfortunate. You can't keep blaming yourself like this! Stop looking to the past and put your energy into today, like he would have wanted. You have a sister out there who's worried sick about you. I haven't seen Twilight smile ever since you fainted. You hardly leave your room. I am scared because you aren't taking care of yourself anymore. You're dying from a broken heart, Celestia; you're killing yourself!"
"Then I hope I die!" she spat, her voice cracking with sorrow as she tried to breathe. "I'll see Jay Blaze again!"
"If you do that, then you spit on his grave!" Raven retorted, her voice belligerent. Celestia opened her mouth to speak, but Raven swept on. "I know you loved him, and he loved you. How could you say something so foolish, in Jay's room of all places?! If Jay Blaze could look down on you right now, he'd be disappointed! Did you think he died just for you to say stupid things like that? No, he didn't, and you know it! I thought you loved him. Don't you care?!"
"Of course, I care!!!" Celestia shrieked. "I've always ever cared, every day for years! I will always care!"
"Then why do you wish to die if you knew it wouldn't be what he wanted?" Raven Inkwell retorted crossly. Celestia could see the fury being held back in her eyes. "Jay Blaze wouldn't want to see you like this. Saying you want to die disrespects not only his memory, but his reason for becoming a royal guard!"
Celestia's gaze burned with anger. How could Raven dare to speak to her like this? She thought the mare was her friend. "Don't you ever tell me that I disrespect him!" Her horn began to flicker ominously. "Ever," she whispered.
Raven Inkwell snorted with contempt, unafraid of Celestia's dark words. "I'll tell you this," she growled lowly, pushing her face until hers and Celestia's nearly touched. "If you don't drag yourself to that throne, I'll make you. I know you are hurting. I'm still hurting, but I'll be damned to Tartarus if I stayed a pathetic, weeping mess like you!
"I won't sully his memory. I won't feel sorry for myself. I won't stop doing my job. I won't stop remembering the good times while you are content to breathe in despair! So go ahead," Raven goaded, putting her forelegs in the air. "Go ahead and hurt me! If it makes you get off your sorry flank, then go on and do it! Come on; you won't miss! But know that I'll keep getting back up!"
Celestia glared at her friend with hatred. She could feel fury and malice pulsing throughout her body. Celestia was going to destroy Raven for speaking ill of her about Jay Blaze. Her chest heaved madly as her shattered heart pulsed uncontrollably.
"Show Jay Blaze how poor you became," Raven hissed, tears beginning to flow from her eyes. "Show him how far you've fallen. Show him he was wrong to love you, that you weren't the mare he thought you were."
Celestia held the bright glow of her horn for a couple more seconds, her eyes blazing, and her teeth clenched until she couldn't anymore. She stopped herself; her senses returned to her, whatever was left. She was horrified at what she was about to do. She couldn't do it. She couldn't hurt Raven when she knew the mare was right. She felt weary and sick; the light that flared in her eyes vanished and a bout of coughing racked her body. If she tried doing what she thought she was going to do, she really would have sullied Jay Blaze's memory.
Celestia sat on her haunches and cast her gaze downward, ashamed. "I'm sorry," the white alicorn murmured. "By the sun, I'm so sorry..." She felt Raven pressing against her, embracing her.
"Put your energy into today, and stop lamenting the past," Raven stressed. "Jay Blaze would want you to. You have to keep living for both you and him. You can't meet him yet, and he wants you to keep going."
"But I feel so lost without him," Celestia croaked. "I fear if I move on, I'll forget about him. Raven, I can't forget!"
"You won't forget," Raven whispered, placing her hooves on the pillow Celestia clutched so tightly. "I'll be there to guide you through this." The grip lessened. "Your sister and Twilight will support you. The guards and staff will carry you." The pillow was almost in her grasp. "You have to let go, but the memory will always be with you."
"Let...go?" Celestia said hoarsely.
"Yes," Raven said, her glossy eyes gleaming. "Let go, Celestia. Let go."
At long last, the pillow the alicorn held fell into Raven's forelegs. The mare stood up and placed it back on the bed while Celestia watched with worry in her gaze. Raven straightened the bed and smoothed out all the creases as if no pony had ever slept on it.
"The first part is done," Raven told Celestia. She turned to meet the princess's gaze. "The second part is to stand up."
Celestia hesitated for a moment before complying. She rose stiffly to her withering legs, her bones cracking and popping.
Raven trotted beside her. "The third part..."
"Is to say goodbye," Celestia finished. She gazed at the bed in solemn silence, her lip quivering.
"I'll start first," Raven whispered. Celestia watched her sadly. "Goodbye, Jay Blaze. You will be missed." She turned to Celestia and beckoned her to do the same.
Celestia swallowed hard, her body quaking with the effort. She felt Raven brushed against her and she steadied her breathing. This was it. Once she does this there won't be going back.
Celestia's round eyes glistened with tears as she spoke the words. "Goodbye, Jay Blaze," she rasped. "I love you. May you rest in peace."
"Next is the fourth part," Raven Inkwell murmured. "We have to leave. Do you think you can manage?"
Celestia nodded. "Yes," she croaked, sobbing. "I think I can."
"Then walk with me."
Slowly, as if to trot over glass, Celestia let Raven Inkwell guide her to the door. When they reach that last step that took them out the room, Celestia looked back, her gaze filled with apprehension and fear.
"You have to walk forward now, for the both of you," Raven said, her gaze looking forward.
Celestia gave a hesitant nod. "What's the final part?" she asked, but she already knew the answer.
The mare looked up at her, sadness in her gaze. "Closing the door."
Celestia nodded firmly, misery still layered within her tired eyes. "Yes..."
Looking back one last time, the alicorn's eyes widened. In the room where the sun bled through the blinds, a small faint wind blew around the room, and a shadow as transparent of water appeared. Celestia watched it look at her with a smile before turning its bright blue gaze away. It trotted to the window and leaped out, vanishing forever.
"Princess Celestia, are you coming?" called Raven. She was halfway down the hall. "Ponies are waiting for you."
Celestia closed her eyes, taking in Jay Blaze's soothing scent one final time. Then she opened them again and sighed, determination filling her hollow gaze. "I'm coming," she called out. She turned away and closed the door behind her, trotting after her friend.