(A/N) This fic is an entry into Stumfreak's 30 minute challenge under the 'human' category, and featuring Lyra and Bonbon. Considering that all writing and editing was completed within this time frame, I am quite happy with how this silly little story turned out, it was a lot of fun to write. Hope you enjoy reading!
Ponyville Hospitality
"OOOOkaaaay". Jared was freaked out. Majorly freaked out. In fact, freaked out was like a fat cat on horse tranquilizers compared to how Jared was feeling. When a magical talking unicorn tells you that you've been transported to some alternate dimension populated almost entirely by sentient mythical creatures with candy-colored manes, flipping your shit tends to come with the territory.
"So you're telling me that some kind of freaky voodoo crap..."
"Magic, actually" corrected Twilight Sparkle with a frown.
"Fucked up on an epic scale..."
"I made one tiny miscalculation that..."
"And brought me to a land of pixie dust and vomit-inducing rainbows..."
"Hey!" came a call from a nearby cloud bank.
"From which there is possibly no return."
"I'm so sorry" Twilight's voice barely carried to the young man, her face was dark with mortification. "I'm going to do everything I can to find you a way home".
"Excuse me!" A voice from behind him grabbed Jared's attention.
"Yeah, what is i-WHOAH!" The human exclaimed, moving back a step quickly.
A set of golden eyes hovered inches from his own, full of curiosity, concern and... something else.
"Hi there, my name is Lyra, Lyra Heartstrings. Pleased to meet you". The turquoise unicorn stood right up on her hind legs, something that didn't look remotely comfortable, and offered her hoof to shake, staring intently at his hands.
"I'm Jarad, are you... alright?" Jared asked, in legitimate concern. The grin on the face of this Lyra threatened to split her face in two, and he watched somewhat horrified as she swayed back and forth on her unsteady back hooves.
"Shake the hoof." The unicorn was, by now, trembling under the strain of remaining upright. Jared shrugged and took the pony's hoof in his hand, shaking firmly, not noticing the miniscule shiver of bliss that shook the pony in front of him.
"Mine..."
"What?" Jarad asked. "Did you say something?"
"No, nothing" Lyra replied with a smile. "Did you mention that you're looking for a place to stay?"
"Well, no" replied Jarad. "But I suppose I am..."
"GREAT" exclaimed Lyra. "Come meet my roommate Bonbon, we're gonna have so... much... fun."
"Well, alright." he barely had time to say before being dragged bodily through town and deposited at the entrance to a small cottage.
The place looked rather homely, and smelled faintly of something sweet that Jarad couldn't put his finger on. As the front door swung open, a cream-coated mare with blue and pink hair looked up from the stove.
"Afternoon Lyra... and friend?". The mare looked between the two, confused for a moment before comprehension dawned.
"Are you that hoo-man creature I've heard so much about?" she asked. "I'm Bonbon, I run the candy store on the corner."
"Jarad" he replied shortly. "And yes, that would be me".
"Hey Bon?" Lyra asked, feigned innocence shining from her eyes. "You wouldn't happen to remember where we put that spare mattress would you?"
Bonbon's face immediately dropped into an unamused expression. "Lyra, what did you tell him? You know you should ask me about anything like this first".
Lyra pouted, and immediately Bonbon recoiled. "Lyra, wait, please don't cry, you know I can't stand it when you..."
"Pleeeeeaaaaase? Lyra whined, moisture collecting in the corners of her eyes.
"Alright, alright, he can stay, he can stay!" Bonbon shrieked, fleeing the kitchen.
Lyra turned to Jarad with a huge grin on her face.
"Success!"
'Well, all in all it's been a pretty strange day'. Jared sighed as he sunk into the soft warmth of the, admittedly pink and frilly, bed.
'Inter-dimensional travel and talking ponies should make for an interesting story to tell the gang when I get back... If I get back'. Trying to push such thoughts from his mind, the young man rolled over, trying to reclaim the comfort that suddenly eluded him.
'If I don't make it back home...' Jarad shook his head sharply, clearing that mental image.
'They'll cope, they always do. They have to cope. Besides, it's not like I turned up on some hostile planet or anything. These ponies have been so helpful, hell they're letting a complete stranger of an unknown species into their homes' Jarad frowned slightly.
'Come to think of it, I wonder why Lyra was so intent for me to stay the night? Maybe that's just pony nature. Better than humans if that's the case' was the last thought that went through his mind before he slipped into blissful sleep.
Ponyville in the early morning was truly a sight to see. As the golden sun rose over the rocky ridges to the East, a cacophony of birdsong erupted from the trees. Ponies could be seen beginning to take to the streets, vendors selling all manner of foodstuffs setting up shops in the crisp dawn air. A happy community, thriving in peace, tolerance and...
"WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!?"
"MY ARMS, MY FUCKING ARMS!". Peace and quiet shattered, the town was roused fully from its sleepy early-morning stupor by a bestial roar. From all over Ponyville, residents flocked to the source of the disturbance, that unassuming thatched-roof cottage that was the home of Lyra and Bonbon.
With a loud crash, Ponyville's most recent resident flew through the entrance and onto the streets. Sobbing and dry heaving uncontrollably, Jared stared down at the THINGS that had once been hands, these strange alien appendages that bent and twisted unnaturally to end in soft turquoise... hooves. Babbling incoherently, Jared, Equestria's first and last human, sprinted through the crowd, disappearing into the early-morning mist.
Dead silence. Not a single sound was issued from any of the multitude of mouths that bore witness to an atrocity of a kind unseen until that day by any pony. A crime against nature itself.
"Well". Came a soft voice from the splintered doorway. "That was surprisingly easy".
Lyra Heartstrings gazed down in wonder at the new limbs sprouting from her chest. They were everything she could have hoped for. Soft skin, sensitive digits for grabbing and holding things comfortably, and those thumbs were simply ingenious!
Flexing the fingers in turn before bringing them together into fists, the unicorn gave a soft smile.
"Excellent".
