Discord’s Nocturnal Life

by loldongs

Rating: mature
Tags: Discord, Slice of Life, Owlowiscious, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Romance, Sex, Random
Length: 1017

Discord finds the love of his life

"If I wasn't gay, I'd be all over it. And I already am."
"So thought provoking, it made FelixDawn gain three brain cells"
"After five hours of soul searching, I couldn't find anything more cleansing than reading this story"

I DUN NOW IF SUMON DID THEES SHEEP, I DEED IT CUZ IM GUD RITR ND RIT GUD SEXYS XD XD XD

Published 2012-09-28 18:54:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-09-28 18:54:01 UTC

Chapter 1

Luna’s moon rose into the night sky, illuminating the Canterlot garden. In it’s center was the returned statue of the God of Chaos, Discord. Discord’s face of fear as he held out his arms to an unknown source made it look like he was trying to push whomever would be looking at him away. Inside the stone prison, however, resided a heart that wanted to embrace anypony or anything that would give him anything. He wasn’t evil, just misunderstood. Tonight, Owlicious was on his usual stroll. He would always fly over the Canterlot Gardens on his way back to Twilight’s Library. But this time, he was in a hurry. He neglected to do his usual... duties back in the woods, but noticed the garden below him and released his excrement. He was holding it back for a long while now, but seeing this opportunity... He let out a sigh of relief. He was going to try and keep it clean though, not making it end up in the middle of a path. A positioned himself above a hedge and got ready. Then he proceeded to... complete his duties.

In a sudden moment, the wind picked up and the turd was sent flying away, right into the mouth of a statue... THE statue...

In a sudden burst of light, sound, and a lot of WHOOSH, the statue broke apart and Discord was free once again.

“Delicious! I should replace this with the chocolate rain.” Discord grinned, a coy smile on his lips as he licked them. He expected to be a group of ponies around, all of them going “OMG Discord’s free again, we’re FUCKED!” but found nothing around except the lone owl.

“Oh... So it was just you that got me out? No children fighting? No Elements of Chaos? Just you?” Discord asked in disbelief.

“Who?” responded the mysterious and nonchalant Owlicious.

Discord raised an eyebrow, something about what the owl had just responded to him made him feel... was horny the right word? “Don’t you know who you’re talking to?”

Owlicious fluffed out his feathers and let them settle down again, his eyes trained on Discord with them half closed. “Who?”

Discord started grinning and flew up into the air. “Allow me to introduce myself.” He snapped his finger and suddenly chocolate milk was pouring from the sky. “I am Discord, God of Chaos!” He began laughing, his maniac mind and body reaching out to the night and letting lightning fall around him, giving him a dark and evil look.

Owlicious just stayed where he was before whipping out a dick the size of Manehatten and started waving it at Discord. “Who?”

Discord looked at the cock and a large grin grew on his face. “My, my. Is that a invitation?”

With a single wave of the dick, slapping Discord in the face, Owlicious reholstered the monstrous beast inside him and opened his wings to fly off in the most uncaring way.

Discord jumped up and gripped the owl by his legs, “Wait! Don’t go! I- I-” Discord gulped before he continued, “I want it!”

The garden went silent, both the owl and draconequus stood in their frozen position, the time passing oh so slower.

Suddenly a romantic tune started playing out of nowhere, and a pinkish mist began apearing near the creatures. Discord snapped his fingerand candles appeared around the little open place where the owl and himself stood.

“Please... can’t I just say thank you?” Discord whispered in the owl’s ear, trying his best to get this creature to show that wonderful slab of meat again.

Owlicious looked away from the pleading beast, but his own heart was telling him that there was a connection between them. He tried thinking of other things, Twilight, Cold Showers, Spike turning him on... Nothing were doing any good, but his cold demeanor remained as he turn back to Discord, his eyes only slightly betraying his wonderlust. “Who?”

Discord summoned a table, some chairs and a rather fancy dining cloth that floated down on the table. “Perhaps your hungry, hmm?”

Out of nowher, a table poofed into existence. Also, a violinist was standing next to it. Discord snapped his finger once more, making 2 plates with steak on it appear. But that isn’t all. Slowly, a bottle of wine and two glasses appeared on the table. Somehow, the glasses were already filled and steaks each had a cherry on top of them.

“Have a seet, its been awhile since I had a convorsation with somepony.” Discord offered, pulling out a chair for the owl.

After a shrug of the owls shoulders, he walked over to the chair and sat down. He began picking at the venison and sipping from the wine. He devouwered the steak pretty quickly. All the Discord was staring at the owl, hoping for the dick to come out and play again.

After a long and boring conversation about grinders destroying things, Discord slaped his hands down. “I DON’T CARE ANYMORE, JUST PUT IT IN MY POOPER!”

The raised an eyebrow at Discord. He grabbed the bottle of wine and chuged it. The jumed on the table and walked up to discord. “AAAAAH ,FCUK IT!”

Chapter 2

Whapin out the dick, Discord’s eyes went big and kawai like in Japan. You know, like in all that hentai.

‘Wow thats so beautiful!’ Discord gaspd.

‘Now eat it’ Owloshus repled.

“Om nom nom.” Disocrd sucked.

She was suking on the dik liek it was a lillopop.

Owlicus moand loudly and then slped dscrd and then jizzed in her mouht.

I wann your tittz.” Owloshis loked and see Descrd been ovr taebl.

TOO BEE CUNTONUED?!?!?!?! XD

Chapter 3

dscrd snpped hiz fnger and then poniville appeared. then they all loked at owlicius and discrd. Louk at tat dik, so beutifel, I wan it screemed evryone. thn ponyvil kissed end had swet sex. deh man sex cam up to dicord nd sexxed for long cuase she now nut ebil and thanked owlochus for savvn world owlishus luked at camra n sayd who evryne lafed.